


Ballad of the Thundering Heart

by LeisurelyPanda



Series: Thundering Heart [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Awkward Steve Rogers is awkward, Because of course he is, Body Worship, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bottom Thor (Marvel), Bullying, Comfort Sex, Coming Out, Consent, Consent is Sexy, Considerate Thor, Football, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Homophobia, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Steve Rogers, Jealousy, Loss of Virginity, Loud Sex, M/M, Making Love, Making Up, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of past abuse, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Paganism, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Thor (Marvel), Rimming, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Threesome - M/M/M, Thundershield - Freeform, Top Bucky Barnes, Top Steve Rogers, Top Thor (Marvel), Wake-Up Sex, Wordcount: Over 200.000, chaotic loki, smut in later chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-03-15 03:58:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 66
Words: 239,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13605048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeisurelyPanda/pseuds/LeisurelyPanda
Summary: Steve Rogers is about to begin the first day of his last year of high school and he's all around pessimistic. Between being an easy target for bullies in school and Bucky having left for college, he's anticipating a hell of a long year before he's finally out. Things take an unexpected turn when an unusual face saves him from his usual bullies. Suddenly Steve must wrestle with new friendships, a budding relationship, and the struggle to accept himself.***updates every Tuesday and Friday***





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my loves! This is a new thing for me. I've never tried slow burn or high school AUs or Marvel before, so this is exciting! A few things before we get started.
> 
> This story will contain themes such as bullying, homophobia, abuse of power, coming out, and Steve learning to accept himself. There will be a few bumps along the way, but because I love happy endings, there will be a happy ending come hell or high water! I am not a fan of angst for the sake of angst, but I will try to portray relationships, and conflict within that context, accurately. 
> 
> Let me know what y'all think! Kudos and comments are always welcome! <3

Steve sighed as his mom pulled up to the front of the school. Summer break was officially over. The end of freedom from this special hell called school. It was never long enough. Even worse, Bucky had left for college a week ago. The only person who ever stood up for him at this school, who made him effectively off-limits since he had been the captain of the football team. Bullies never stuck around long when Bucky was around. No such luck, now. He sighed again.

“Now Steve,” his mother chided. “It’s not going to be that bad. Just because Bucky’s off at college doesn’t mean that it’s going to be terrible.”

Sarah Rogers was beautiful, even in her middle age. Many people remarked how similar he was to her. Usually before saying he looked so little like his father. His hair and eyes both came from her. But Steve had been a fragile child and it had stunted his growth when he hit puberty. While nearly every other boy, including his best friend, Bucky, had grown exponentially when they reached puberty, Steve had been a late bloomer and when he had finally started growing, he came up short. Literally. Many of the guys, if not most, seemed to be taller than him by a head..

“Easy for you to say,” he replied. “You aren’t the smallest person in school.”

“You’re going to make this into a self-fulfilling prophecy, you know,” she said, pulling into the parking lot. “Be positive. You might be surprised.”

“If I am, you’ll be the first to know,” Steve said. He stepped out of the car and pulled his backpack up over his shoulder. “Love you.”

His mother echoed him. He trudged up to the glass doors to begin what was sure to be a long, long year until graduation. _Right, be positive, Steve._

He had no sooner walked through the front doors and turned right down the Languages hall to get to his first period than his favorite oppressors noticed his presence. He groaned internally. But he’d be damned before he backed down just because guys twice his size thought they could push him around. He mentally braced himself, and kept walking, not moving out of the way or trying to avoid them. They sauntered up in that powerful, hyper-masculine way that seemed to define pretty much everyone on a sports team in high school. 

“Hey, Mr. Rogers,” one of them jeered. His uniform said “Hodge” Gilmore Hodge. He was part of the defensive line. He was good at it, too, from what people said. Unfortunately, that meant he was a wall of muscle that enjoyed running over Steve in his spare time. He was a head taller than Steve, and he had cruel, cold brown eyes. He had the tanned complexion of someone who spent a lot of time in the sun and close cut dirty blonde hair. The names of his bullies were usually pretty easy to learn, since they strutted around the school with them advertised on their chests. “Where’s your Prince Charming?”

Steve set his jaw but didn’t respond. _Don’t reply. Don’t encourage them._ His heart rate sped up. It was a struggle to keep his steps even and measured, to not turn and run. But he never ran.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, punk,” he said, shoving him back. One of his cronies grabbed his backpack and upended it, spilling his supplies out onto the ground. 

“Hey, stop!” he protested. He tried shoving at his attackers, to no avail. 

“Look at that,” Hodge jeered. “The runt thinks he can put up a fight.” 

Another one of his cronies laughed cruelly before he punched him in the stomach. Steve gasped as the air was knocked out of him. He collapsed to the ground and the jocks laughed above him. He drew in a ragged breath and staggered to his feet. The guy on his left slammed a knee into his stomach and he fell back down. He groaned in pain. Above him he heard a locker opening. 

Great, he thought. He staggered to his feet again. Well, I might be small, but I’m not going down without a fight. 

“Still up for more, runt?” Hodge jeered.

“I can do this all day,” Steve said with a grin. He formed his hands into fists and held them up level to his head. Probably not his brightest idea. But he was never going to let them win.

Hodge and his goons laughed. “That can be arranged.”

Just then someone was in front of him, shoving him back. He had no idea who this was, but it seemed to be another wall of muscle. He had ridiculously long, blonde hair, though, and he was even taller than Hodge and his goons. He got to his feet and tried to get out of the way, to catch his breath, something. He looked up to see what was happening. The new comer also wore a football jersey. Odinson. Whoever he was, he knew what he was doing and he gave as good as he got. Behind them a ring of students had already formed, chanting and cheering as the fight raged on. One of the bullies was already running away. Odinson punched another in the face and there was an immensely satisfying crack as his nose was broken. But almost as soon as the mystery man showed up, so did George Washington High School’s chronically late teachers to break up the fight. 

“Fighting on the first day of school?” said a nasally voice. Mr. Fredrickson, the assistant principal. “I expect better from you, Mr. Odinson.”

“They were beating this kid up--” 

“Right, Mr. Rogers,” he said, staring down his nose at Steve. “I would have thought that you’d have learned by now not to pick fights with people twice your size, boy.”

“You wouldn’t have to hope if you did your job,” he replied, bitterly.

“Speaking of which,” he said, scowling. “Detention after school Mr. Rogers.”

“WHAT?!” 

“You can’t do that,” Odinson said. “He was--”

“You too, Mr. Odinson,” he interjected. “From what I saw, you attacked three of your teammates without provocation.”

“Then why is he getting detention?” he demanded. _Jeez, when did his puberty start?_ Steve wondered. _His voice is so deep it’s coming out of his shoes._

“Guilt by association,” Mr. Fredrickson sniffed. “Brat has a tendency to cause trouble. Always has.”

_Typical,_ he thought.

“Now get to class. All of you!” he shouted at the passersby. Then he noticed the bully whose nose had been broken. "And someone get this boy to the nurse! I need to find a janitor."

Steve waited until Hodge and his goons were out of sight before he slumped against the locker. The first thing he realized was that his backpack was on the ground, papers and notebooks and other supplies strewn everywhere. The second thing he noticed was that this Odinson person was gathering up his stuff. He looked vaguely familiar. The only people from the football team he really knew were Bucky and his bullies. Steve hastily got down and grabbed his backpack to stuff his supplies back in before he was officially late for his first class. 

“Thanks,” he muttered. “But I could’ve taken them.”

“My friend, you are brave, but I think you overestimate yourself,” he said. He had an accent that he couldn’t place, Steve noticed, and his accompanying chuckle rumbled like thunder in his throat. He wore a sleeveless crimson t-shirt and black jeans and Steve resisted the urge to look at his butt as Thor turned around to check the ground behind him. “I admire your courage, foolhardy as it is.”

Steve’s response was drowned out by another similar voice. “Picking fights on the first day, brother? What will father say?”

There across the hall was a tall, lean man with long dark hair. The rest of him, apart from his pale skin, was just as dark. He wore black pants, an elegant, dark, almost black, green polo shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and a silver pendant with some sort of runic symbol inscribed on it that rested in the center of his chest. He looked to be a bit younger than Steve’s rescuer. Even so, he grinned with an easy grace and mischief danced in his eyes like fire. He was stunning.

“You know what happened, Loki,” he replied. “Though I don’t remember you helping out.”

“You seemed to have everything well in hand,” he drawled. “And now _I_ don’t have detention.”

Other-Odinson rolled his eyes before he turned his attention back to Steve and handed him the notebooks in his hand. “Are you well?”

“I’m great,” he replied, standing up. He tried to hide the pain in his abdomen as he did so. “Had ‘em on the ropes.”

“If you say so,” the guy said. “My name is Thor. The jester is my brother, Loki.”

“I’m Steve,” he replied, reaching out to shake his hand. Like the rest of him, his hand was massive, dwarfing Steve’s smaller hand. “And thanks.”

“I only wish they had gotten what they deserve,” Thor said.

“I’ve been wishing that for years,” he replied. “Gilmore’s dad is on the school board, though, so none of the teachers will do anything to him out of fear that they’ll lose their jobs.”

“Wonderful,” Thor sighed. Then he turned and smiled down at him. He’s huge, Steve realized. “Where are you headed?”

“Thanks, but I can take it from here,” Steve said, backing away. “I don’t need a bodyguard to walk me to class.”

“Oh. Well, see you in detention then.”

“Yeah, it’ll be a blast,” Steve said. He sighed and headed toward his first period class.  


* * *

The rest of the school day was, thankfully, uneventful. He texted his mom to let her know that he would be coming home late. He was shocked, however, to learn that Loki was in his art class. He was a bit intimidated by him, but the man made no overtures towards him aside from acknowledging his presence in class. What was even more shocking, however, was seeing Thor walk into his AP History class right as the bell was ringing. And then again in AP physics immediately afterwards. The guy had grinned and walked over, taking a free seat next to him. Steve just smiled politely.

By the end of the day Steve was able to get up with relative ease. He sighed as he entered the designated room for his first detention of the year. He didn’t recognize the teacher. She must be new, he thought. It wasn’t surprising. Even at a relatively good school, inner city teachers didn’t usually last long. Some of the older ones had secure positions there, like the principal, but most new teachers lasted only a year or two before moving on. 

He took his seat and took out some first day homework. He decided to get get some of the AP History homework done. There were a handful of other students in there as well. Some of them were actual troublemakers, class clowns, habitual disruptors, and the like. A few were like him, innocent victims of lazy administration and powerful bullies. 

_Hmm… Thor’s not here yet. Oh well._ He began to work silently.

A couple minutes later, he showed up, his bulky frame drawing attention from everyone present. Steve chose to turn his attention back to his work. If he was lucky he’d be able to make some headway before he went home.

Thor, of course, chose to sit next to him. But instead of trying to make small talk, he just smiled in his usual jovial way and took out his own work. It took him a moment before he realized he was staring at the way his bicep moved as he turned the pages and hastily returned to his notes.

Until, that is, the last person arrived for detention today.

“Hello kids,” the newcomer announced. “Your day’s now 10 times better since I’ve arrived. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“That’s enough, Tony,” the teacher said briskly. “Take your seat. No talking.”

“Suit yourself,” he replied, sauntering over to a desk. He immediately propped his feet up on the chair of a desk next to him.

“Feet on the ground, Tony.”

He chuckled as he complied. Steve rolled his eyes. 

Detention passed slowly. People got rowdy a couple times. Tony was usually the instigator. Steve did his best to drown out the noise in the background and focus. It wasn’t that difficult to do, actually. He regularly had to block out the noise at home. This wasn’t nearly as bad as his father drunkenly raving. Remarkably, Thor did not partake. He never took his eyes from the work in front of him or acknowledged their rambunctious classmates making a scene. 

Soon enough they were dismissed and the students practically raced out of the room to get out of school. Steve and Thor were the last out. Steve sighed as it was finally quiet. 

“I thought they would never shut up,” he griped. Thor chuckled in agreement and Steve wondered again how he managed to make it sound like thunder rumbling in his throat. 

The two of them went to the front of the school, where Steve soon saw his mother waiting to pick him up. Most of the other kids had either left already or were waiting outside. Tony seemed to have attracted a following from some of the other rebellious types. Thor didn’t seem to be heading out just yet.

“Do you need a ride anywhere?” he asked. 

“Thanks, but I need to get to practice,” he replied, grimacing. “I’m in for it with the coach as it is, with being late the first day and everything.”

Steve looked at him with incredulity. “You’re on the football team?” he asked. _Idiot, of course he’s on the football team. Look at him! He probably is the football team._

“Yeah, I’m the new quarterback,” he replied, grinning. “Or at least I hope I’ll be. I must get to the tryouts first.”

“Well why’d you come this way then?” Steve asked. “It would have been faster to cut through the history hall if you have to get to the football field.”

“I wanted to make sure you did not run into any Gilmore Hodge types skulking around waiting to jump you,” he admitted. 

“I’m not weak,” Steve said indignantly.

Thor paused for a moment, considering him. “No, I do not think that you are, Steve. Anyway, I will see you later.” And with that, he jogged down the hall to get to the tryouts. Steve turned to go out the door, but looked back to stare after him. 

Maybe he’s a good sort after all, he thought. He walked out toward the car where his mom was waiting and tossed his backpack into the back seat, riddled with disposed trash they hadn’t yet managed to clean out. There were times when they practically lived in this little beater.

“So,” she began cheerfully, “aside from the principal who has it in for you, did you have a good day? Make any new friends?”

Steve stared out the window and thought for a moment.

“Maybe,” he replied.


	2. The Golden Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's mom is ridiculous

Thor sighed as the warm water hit his sweaty, grimy skin. Practice was brutal. Last year he had been the tight end while Bucky Barnes had been the quarterback. He hadn’t realized just how difficult making the position would be. He had been training for it all summer and some of last year, but still, actually trying out for the position had been brutal. He still wasn’t sure he had landed the position, though he had done well. It would be a few days before decisions were made. But he had done better than some of the other people trying out for the position. His throws had been more accurate and he had been the fastest applicant on the field. He was also the best at coming up with plays against other teams. That was probably his best asset in his favor.

He opened his eyes and began to scrub himself clean before other teammates could complain about him hogging the hot water. Too late. He felt a sharp pain and the crack of a towel snapping on his ass sounded sharply in the locker room amid the laughs from his teammates. He quickly finished up and grabbed his own towel to exact his revenge on whoever had gotten him. As it turned out, it was one of Hodge’s buddies. Billy Coleman. He was a mediocre player on the defensive line who had apparently been on the team since freshman year and shown a lack of interest in improving at all. The only reason he was still on the team was because he was better than most who tried out, even if he was worse than pretty much everyone else. Thor tried not to feel a little self-satisfied as he wound up his towel and snapped it against his butt. He failed.

The usual masculine camaraderie among sports teams ensued. Guys were roughhousing, arm wrestling, towel snapping, and generally making a ruckus until a coach came in and yelled at them to quiet down and get dressed. The school would be closing soon and they needed to be out. Thor grabbed his stuff and accompanied a few of his teammates out to the front of the school to where his ride was waiting. His mother was waiting for him.

“Hello dear,” she said sweetly in Swedish. She kissing his cheek in greeting. “How was practice? Did you make the quarterback position?”

“Hello mother,” he replied in like fashion. He wiped the spot where she kissed him absentmindedly. “I did well. I will not know if I got the position until later this week, though.”

“I’m sure you will make the position this year,” she said. He had spent the past few years as part of the tight end. And while he knew why Bucky had been chosen as the quarterback all those years, he was looking forward to finally being in the position himself. 

“Thank you, mother. I hope so.”

“Now,” she said, growing serious. “Loki tells me that you were sent to detention today. Why is that?”

Thor groaned. Of course she would have found out from Loki. She had a tendency to dote upon them. Which wasn’t bad, per se, but it coupled with wanting to know everything that happened. She had probably pestered Loki into telling her. Or he had just told her to save time. 

“I saw a student getting beaten up when I arrived at school today, mother,” he said. “I stepped in to defend him as he was much smaller than the other boys.”

His mother grimaced. “And why is it that _you_ received detention?”

“The principal is corrupt little weasel of a man,” Thor replied. “He claimed the boy getting beaten up was a troublemaker and gave him detention as well, but did not punish the bullies.”

His mother tsked disapprovingly. “I am proud that you defended him, my son. Is he well?”

“He insisted that he had it under control,” he said, chuckling. “Though he seemed to no longer be in pain when I saw him last.”

“He sounds spirited,” she said, smiling.

“He is valiant,” he admitted. His mother was uncharacteristically silent for a while. Eventually Thor turned to look at her. She was grinning knowingly from ear to ear. “What?”

“Nothing,” she said innocently. It was that same look that Loki got when he knew a secret no one else did. 

“Oh really, mother?” he asked. “You have that look. The one where you think you know something.”

“I’ve never thought I’ve known anything, son,” she replied, still with that smug look on her face. “I actually know things.”

“Such as?”

“You like him,” she teased. 

Thor blushed. His entire face blushed red as a beet. He was suddenly glad that his beard hid some of it. Not that it mattered. “Mother, I just met him!”

“What does that matter?” she asked. 

“I just admire his tenacity, foolish as it may be,” he protested. “Just because I defended him does not mean I have to like him!”

“Is that so?” she asked. He nodded. “Then why are you blushing?”

Thor grumbled something about the weather and rolled down the window to let the sounds of the city permeate the car and drown out the sound of his mother laughing triumphantly.

_Ridiculous,_ he thought. 

* * *

Thor sighed as he collapsed on the couch, dropping his backpack onto the floor next to him. He was exhausted. Between school and football practice he never seemed to have time to actually do anything else. If it wasn’t for the fact that he wasn’t responsible for cooking food or cleaning his clothes (yet), he doubted he’d actually be alive.

“How was detention, dear brother?” Loki asked from the other side of the room. Thor responded by throwing one of the couch pillows in his general direction. “That bad? I would have thought that you and the boy would have bonded over your heroics.”

“Not you too, Loki,” he groaned.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” he said, laughing. “I’m just glad to see you making some interesting friends instead of those meatheads on the American football team.”

“You want to insult my friends? Let us see if you can back those words up.”

“Peace, brother,” Loki said. “I meant no offense.”

Thor slumped against the couch and grabbed his backpack. He took out his planner where he had organized his homework for the next few weeks. He was going to be up until midnight easily trying to get everything done in time. _Who knew senior year would be so hard?_ he wondered. 

He sighed but got out his history homework that he started during detention. _The only thing that period was good for,_ he thought. 

He could hear Loki scribbling on his notepad across the room. He was the smarter of the two, but he was more inclined towards the arts whereas Thor was good at math and the sciences. He liked history, but it didn’t come as naturally to him. It was more difficult for him to apply knowledge that he could not practice himself like in math or physics. 

_I wonder if Steve will want to study together for these classes,_ he thought. _It would make the classes more enjoyable at any rate._

Soon the smells of seafood wafted through the living room from the kitchen. He smelled tuna and his stomach began to rumble loudly. Loki sighed in annoyance. His father’s job as a diplomat afforded them a home in a nice part of Brooklyn and, thankfully, a hired chef. His father was kept busy at the embassy to make anything and his mother wanted to focus on her art rather than domesticity. It was a convenient system, considering that the Swedish government paid generously for Odin to be the diplomat at the Swedish embassy. 

Thor somehow managed to get through his history homework by the time the chef announced that dinner was ready. Thor sighed with relief and put his work down on the coffee table in front of him and hurried to the kitchen. Where his father was waiting.

“Son!” he shouted joyfully. He got up and embraced him fiercely. Odin was as big as Thor and the years had not made him any less strong or dominating a presence. It was impossible not to notice him, at the very least because of his great, booming voice. “How did tryouts go? Did you get the position this year?”

“Hello father,” Thor said as he embraced him. “I did well, but I won’t know if I did well enough until later this week.”

“Ah, my son, I’m sure you will succeed,” he said. “Now come, let’s eat before our food gets cold!”

Dinner was really the only time when Thor could really unwind and focus on something other than school. Well, dinner and football, anyway. Being in advanced classes was good for his academic performance, but it was a time intensive process. Dinner, time with his family was a time when he could get away from all that for a while. 

His mother asked Loki how his art was going. He dabbled in many things. Painting, charcoal sketches, simple pencil sketches, digital art, watercolors, pastels. Lately he was trying out oil painting, though it seemed to be presenting some challenges. He was having difficulty figuring out how to make the right layers for his paintings.

“Nothing seems right,” he complained. “I have trashed a dozen canvases trying to get it right but nothing seems to be working the way I want it.”

“Perhaps I can help you after dinner,” their mother offered. “It’s been a while since I’ve worked oil painting but I may be able to help you figure something out.”

That launched a conversation about mediums and paint products and layers and something called “fat over lean” that Thor could not follow if his life depended on it. He took after their father more. Sports, leadership, science, and math were all areas that he excelled in. Art was more his mother’s area and Loki was learning everything she had to teach. He frequently complained about art classes in school not being as good a teacher as her, but he still preferred those classes to the more typical math, science, and history. He was good at them, he just thought they were boring. And a bored Loki was a recipe for mischief.

Their father began raving about the latest rugby upset. Thor was a fan of the sport as well, but since America had this somewhat backwards obsession with their version of football, that was the closest he could get to playing the sport during the school year. He played a lot of rugby when they went home to Sweden during the summer. American football was a lot easier. Probably because they had this strange notion that you needed protection during high contact sports. You were also allowed to pass the ball forward, unlike in rugby. During the weekends when Thor didn’t have to play an away game, he and his parents would watch rugby on TV. Loudly. Loki was the only one who didn’t care much for the sport and frequently asked them to keep it down. 

“One of these days,” his father said with determination, “Sweden will go back to Rugby World Cup and we’ll have our chance.”

“You know I hope for the same, father,” Thor replied. “But Sweden has to become much better as a team if they hope to compete in the World Cup. Hell, the United States is going to the World Cup and these people don’t even watch rugby!”

His father scoffed at the notion and drank a large gulp of his beer. “That the United States has a rugby team competing internationally that its people don’t even know about is a crime,” he griped. “Oh well. Hopefully Australia will have their chance to beat New Zealand in the World Cup next year.” 

“We can only hope,” Thor said raising his own beer. His father laughed as he toasted to that and drank deeply.

With that, Thor excused himself to get back to work, taking his bag upstairs to his room so he wouldn’t get distracted. This American school system seemed to think that every student, particularly those in advanced classes, only ever took one or two classes at the time. The only good thing about the first day of school was that at least the homework was relatively less time intensive than it usually was. He managed to get finished around 11. He sighed with relief as he finished the calculus he was working on and threw his pencil down on his desk. 

_Finally,_ he thought. He closed his eyes for a moment and let his shoulders relax. One hand came and massaged his neck, relieving some of the tension that collected there. He got up and twisted his back, sighing with content as it popped and cracked. He sighed and picked up a pair of pajama pants he had discarded that morning and changed into them before collapsing onto his bed. His last thought before he fell asleep went back to his mother’s response to his defending Steve when he got to school.

_Ridiculous,_ he thought again.


	3. Fate?

The alarm blared, cutting through the peaceful silence of the morning. Steve groaned as he hit the snooze button for that extra 5 minutes of precious, blissful sleep. 6:00 was too early to get up for school. Even if it started at 8. He fell back asleep and soon he was snoring peacefully. He fell into one of those vivid dreams that only ever seemed to happen during the 5 minutes between alarms. 

_He was running through snowy mountains in the dead of winter. It was a secret mission against Nazi forces in Germany. He was in charge. In this dream, he was much taller, much stronger, not the scrawny little nerd everyone picked on because he was the smallest person in school. Bucky was there, too. For some reason, Steve had a shield strapped to his back and was running through the mountains like he was invincible. He took the shield from his back and threw towards gunmen above them. It ricocheted, hitting one, then another, then a third before it headed towards him and he caught it like he had done it a thousand times._

_They arrived at the point where they were planning to take a zipline to ambush a train carrying a top scientist for a secret underground Nazi organization. Steve led the way, riding the zipline down to land smoothly onto the roof of the moving train. They climbed down to make their way to the front of the train and capture Dr. Zola when all of a sudden they were separated by the train doors closing. Bucky was being held down by machine gun fire while Steve was met by a large, armoured soldier shooting some kind of blue energy out of his guns._

_He managed to block the attacks with his shield. He rushed the soldier while the weapon made a whining sound as it charged and knocked him to the ground. Then he quickly bashed his helmet, knocking him out before he ran back to help his friend. Bucky was out of ammo in his pistol. Steve quickly reloaded his and opened the door, tossing his friend his weapon. Then he ran and slammed into a crate with his shield, forcing the soldier to abandon his cover. Bucky made quick work of the exposed enemy with a headshot._

_Suddenly they heard the familiar whining sound and Steve had just enough time to step in front of Bucky with his shield up before the enemy he had knocked out shot._

_“Get down!” he shouted. The energy ricocheted off his shield and blew a hole open on the side of the train. Steve was reeling from the shot._

_“Fire again!” said a voice over the intercom. “Kill him, now!”_

_Bucky got up and picked up Steve’s shield, but he wasn’t strong enough to hold it properly. He fired at the soldier. But when the soldier returned fire, the blast sent Bucky flying out the side of the train. Steve jumped up and grabbed the shield. He threw it as hard as he could at the soldier, sending him flying backwards._

Gotta save Bucky, _he thought. He raced to the opening and saw him dangling from a bar on the side of a shredded wall._

_“Bucky! Hang on!” he shouted. He made his way out on the precarious wall, clinging to the bar. He reached out. “Grab my hand!”_

_The bar was coming loose. Bucky reached out, too late. It broke away, and Bucky screamed as he fell into the snowy mountain pass._

_“No!” he shouted._

The alarm sounded and Steve’s eyes flew open. He was breathing fast from his waking dream. He hurried to turn the alarm off. He sighed, now fully awake. _Apparently God doesn’t want me to sleep in today,_ he thought.

He sighed again in resignation and got up. _Today’s going to be a long, long day,_ he thought.

Funnily enough when he got to school, there wasn’t anyone waiting for him. No Gilmore Hodge or Billy Coleman decided to vent their frustrations on his body as soon as he walked through the door. The morning was relatively calm. Peaceful, even and he got to his first period class without any fuss at all. Which was strange because Bucky wasn’t around to frighten any would-be assailants off. He was a bit disappointed actually. 

_Why am I disappointed?_ He wondered. _I’m a man. I don’t need someone to save me all the time like I’m some sort of damsel in distress._

He sat down in the art studio and took out his sketch pad. It was a bit worse for wear after yesterday but still perfectly usable. He preferred sketching. Sketching was possible with almost anything and it didn’t require expensive materials. Just a pencil, some paper, and an eraser. Mistakes were easy to fix or cover up. He liked painting to a lesser extent, but money was tight as it was with his mom as a single parent. Paint could get expensive, especially the high quality stuff. Besides, paint wasn’t really his medium of choice.

“And here my brother was worried that you had gone and gotten yourself into trouble again,” said a voice. Steve turned and saw Loki leaning against a table next to him. “Perhaps I should tell him that he needn’t bother.”

“Please do,” he replied. “I don’t need a bodyguard.”

“Right,” Loki said with that insufferably smug grin. “Because you definitely had those boys on the ropes yesterday. Thor was worried over nothing.”

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

“I did say it,” Loki replied.

“Say it clearly,” Steve said, glaring at him.

“Did you not understand? I thought my English was pretty good,” he said, grinning. “Surely there are worse things than having someone stick up for you.”

“I don’t need people to fight my battles for me.”

“No, you’d rather get beaten to a pulp day after day.”

“What does it matter to you, anyway?” Steve demanded. “It doesn’t concern you and I didn’t ask for Thor to get involved yesterday.”

“You didn’t have to,” Loki drawled. “Thor has a tendency to involve himself in these things.”

“Then what do you want with me?” he said, getting up. It wasn’t that intimidating a move. Loki was still much taller than him.

“Me?” Loki asked in mock surprise. “I don’t want anything. I just wonder why you’re so proud.”

“It’s a matter of dignity,” Steve insisted. 

“Is it? Well, then allow me to apologize for offending your dignity,” Loki said with a slight bow, but still with that mocking grin. He turned and went to his own seat as the bell rang. Steve sat back down and tried to put the ridiculous exchange out of his mind. 

It didn’t work. All through the day Loki’s words echoed through his mind. He caught himself running through the conversation again and again. He wondered briefly if Loki had some special ability to get inside his head or whether he was simply that susceptible to the man. He was so caught up in it that when Thor sat next to him during history class he was so startled by his greeting that he actually jumped. Thor had looked concerned.

“I wonder if Loki was telling me the truth when he told me you were fine, Steve,” he whispered. 

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Steve said a little more harshly than he intended.

Thor looked taken aback. “Well, sorry then.”

Steve groaned. “No. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How did you mean it?” he asked.

“I meant that I’m physically fine,” Steve said. “I’m just distracted by something else today.”

Thor didn’t look convinced, but didn’t press the matter. And besides, the bell was ringing and the teacher was beginning her lecture. If there was any desire to press him it would have to wait until after physics, when school was over. Of course, Thor probably had football practice so it wasn’t that much time. 

Steve didn’t stop to talk when class was over either. Instead he practically raced to his next class, ducking out of the way of the stampede of students leaving to get out of class. He resisted the urge to look behind him, too, to see if he was following him. He would be easy to spot. He was much taller than most of the rest of the student body. 

For some reason he didn’t want to be around Thor. He didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t want to depend on him, didn’t really want anything to do with him. _He’s just another jerk on the football team looking to take advantage of the smart nerdy kid._

 _That’s not really fair,_ a smaller, quieter part of his mind said. _Bucky is a good guy. He was on the football team from day one._

That much was certainly true. And Bucky had done a good job of keeping the seedier elements of the team at bay. Namely, the people like Gilmore Hodge who saw him as their personal punching bag, But Bucky wasn’t here anymore and bullies no longer had the deterrent of picking on someone larger than them or someone as influential to the stuff that mattered to them as Bucky. It didn’t matter who it was. Bucky was always there for him. 

_Would it really be so bad to have someone else be there for you?_ that part of himself asked.

 _No? I don’t know?_ he thought. He put it aside to think about later. Preferably when he wasn’t trying to focus on class. 

Unfortunately, there was only one more class period before he had physics. Which meant that there was only going to be one more class until he saw Thor again. Hopefully by then Thor would have just forgotten about Steve’s awkwardness and wouldn’t bring it up again. 

College English went by too quickly and soon Steve was trudging up the stairs to the science department. Almost as soon as he got there, Thor was there. He was, as usual, smiling in greeting. It was a bit infectious. Steve found himself smiling back.

“There you are,” Thor said by way of greeting. “We didn’t finish that conversation.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Steve said, ducking his head sheepishly. 

“Are you certain you had no difficulties today?” Thor asked. “I know what Loki told me but sometimes… he does things for his own reasons.” 

“I can see that,” Steve said, laughing. Thor smiled down at him. 

_Shit what do I do now?_ he wondered. He cleared his throat as he felt a blush form on his cheeks. 

“I was wondering,” Thor said, apparently, thankfully oblivious to Steve’s bashfulness. “These classes we have, they are very difficult. Would you like to study together?”

Steve bristled. “You think I need help studying?”

Thor chuckled and Steve blushed again and ducked his head so he wouldn’t be seen. “You always think that I see you as incapable,” he said. It was baffling. Thor wasn’t offended. If anything, he seemed amused. “I think there is more to you than meets the eye, Steven Rogers.”

Steve felt like his face was about to combust. “S-sorry,” he said. “Um… yeah, sure I can study with you.”

“Excellent!” Thor exclaimed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Saturday? Noon?”

“Um… yeah sounds great.”

“Great! I’ll pick you up!”

“Yeah, I-- huh?” Steve asked.

“I’ll pick you up,” Thor repeated, utterly unfazed. “What’s your address?”

Steve stammered through his address. Thor didn’t seem to have any trouble at all as he copied it down in his notebook. Finally the bell rung and Steve almost thought that it was later than it should have been. The teacher finally got up from her desk and waited for the stragglers to find their seats. She began to read off the lab partners for the year.

“Jenny Skalder with Henry McDougal. Neville Johnson with Jackson O’Riley. Tanisha Queen with Catherine Brodeur. Thor Odinson with Steve Rogers…”

“Good thing we’re already study buddies, eh, Steven?” Thor joked, nudging him with his elbow. Steve was busy trying not to melt into the floor. “Must be fate, right?”

 _Right. Fate,_ he thought. _Something like that._


	4. Impasse

Steve spent the next few days trying to become more comfortable around Thor. The first thing he learned was that Thor was very affectionate. And not affectionate in the way many guys were with each other. He didn’t chest bump him or punch his shoulder or do that weird clasp hands and pat on the back thing that guys seemed to always do with each other. He hugged. A lot. He draped his arm over his shoulder. He ruffled his hair. 

_Maybe it’s because he’s Swedish,_ he thought on Friday as he watched Thor go down the hall to get to practice. _Or…. I guess he could just be a friendly guy._

It wouldn’t be so bad if not for the fact that, for some reason, every time he did something like that Steve felt flustered. He was trying to become less bashful and awkward around the guy. It didn’t help that Thor was prone to hugging him every time they met in the hallway. But every time they touched, his heart started racing, the logical, intelligent part of his brain seemed to stop working, and his tongue started tying knots around itself. It was very annoying and he wished he knew why he couldn’t function around the guy.

So it was this in the back of his mind that he left school on Friday to go to his biweekly counseling session with Dr. Erskine. He had started seeing him about a year ago after his dad died. The guy had been a drunk and ridiculed his family mercilessly but it had still been a hard time. Now he only saw Dr. Erskine every other week, but he still liked the counseling sessions. His mom waited in the lobby of the counseling office. 

“Hello Steve,” he said warmly in his thick German accent. He held his hands folded in his lap and one leg crossed over the other in a relaxed posture. “How are you doing today?”

“Fine, I guess,” he replied. 

“You guess?” Dr. Erskine asked. “You are not sure?”

“Well, it’s been an interesting first week at school,” he explained. 

“Interesting in what way?”

So Steve recounted the events of that week. How he had been beaten up on the first day and been saved by someone he’d never even met. How somehow that had led to them becoming friends and Thor’s affectionate behavior during the past few days. He also told him about the dream he had about Bucky falling to his death just beyond his grasp. Dr. Erskine listened through it all with a soothing, accepting air.

“He sounds like a good man,” Dr. Erskine said neutrally. 

“Yeah. He does,” Steve replied. 

“Yet you seem hesitant to see him as a friend,” he observed.

“Well, I guess every time he hugs me or even when we talk, it’s like I can’t think of anything to say or I’m so flustered that I forget what I was going to say,” he rambled.

“You say that you are going to his house to study tomorrow,” Dr. Erskine continued. “How do you feel about that?”

“Nervous, maybe? Excited?”

“You are nervous because he is friendly. Because you like him but you are afraid that if you like him too much he will replace your friend, Bucky.”

Steve thought for a moment. “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Given what you’ve told me in past sessions, you are not used to people wanting to be your friend.”

“Yeah, I- it’s weird because Bucky was my friend for the longest time,” Steve explained. “But now he’s at college and it’s like I’ve found someone to take his place.”

Dr. Erskine was silent for a while. “There is nothing wrong with having more friends, Steve.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied. 

“And just because you are friends with Thor does not mean that you are no longer friends with Bucky,” he continued. 

“I know, it’s just strange to be around someone who’s actually interested in being my friend again,” he explained. 

“Perhaps you will become more comfortable once you get to know him more,” Dr. Erskine said optimistically.

The rest of the session passed in similar fashion. It was easier than it used to be for Steve. Dr. Erskine had been his counselor for about a year and in all that time he had never judged Steve for any of his shortcomings. Never told him what he needed to do in order to fix his life. He listened. Occasionally he validated what Steve was experiencing. But nothing Steve ever said seemed to impact the way he saw him. If the nature of their relationship wasn’t completely professional, Steve could see them being friends.

At the end of the session, Steve walked out into the lobby where his mom was waiting. She was dressed in her nursing scrubs, since she likely wouldn’t have time to change into them in time to get to work after she dropped him off at home. Such was the life of a single mother. She didn’t ask how the session went. She stopped asking a long time ago. She said she figured that he had his right to privacy, considering everything he’d gone through over the past couple years. 

“So do you have any plans this weekend?” she asked. 

“Yeah, um… I’m meeting Thor to study tomorrow,” he replied. 

“At our place or his?” she asked. “Because if he’s coming to our apartment, I need you to clean it up first.”

“He’s going to pick me up tomorrow at noon and we’ll go over to his place,” he explained. 

“Is he going to come in to the apartment at all?” she asked. 

“Maybe? I don’t know.”

“Then please do a little bit of tidying up while I’m at work tonight,” she replied.

Steve bit back a sigh before he nodded. Complaining wouldn’t help right now. And it was the least he could do to make life easier for his mom. She certainly had enough on her plate between work and him.  


* * *

Later that evening, after Steve had finished cleaning the living room, his phone began to ring. He looked down and smiled. It was Bucky. He answered.

“Buck!” he exclaimed cheerfully. “How you doing?”

“Hey Steve!” came his reply. “I’m doing great, what are you up to?”

“Good, I’m good,” he said. “Shouldn’t you be getting trashed at some frat party or something?”

“Oh yeah, man, but so many frats want me I can’t decide which one to go to,” he replied. Steve could practically hear the lazy grin on his face. God it’s good to talk to him, he thought. 

“So, figured out what you’re majoring in yet?” he asked. 

“Jeez, who are you my mom?” Bucky joked. “No, it’s only been a week and I still have no clue what I’m doing with my life. Happy?”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine, whatever.”

“What about you?” he asked. “How are you holding up? Hodge giving you trouble?”

“You know he is,” Steve said. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry I can’t be there to get the asshole to back down,” Bucky said.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Steve replied. “He hasn’t been bothering me nearly as much as I expected.”

“Really?” Bucky said with surprise. “Why’s that? Did he have a crisis of conscience?”

“Well, you know Thor?”

“Thor Odinson? The guy who was after my spot every year since the first day he stepped on the field? Freakishly tall, infuriatingly nice, and Sweden’s actual golden boy?” he asked. “Yeah I know him. What about him?”

“Well… he’s kinda been keeping bullies at bay now,” Steve said.

“Seriously? Well, if he’s got your back, I guess I don’t have to worry about you picking fights with Gilmore Hodge.”

“You’re hilarious,” Steve said drily. He got up and began pacing around the room. “He’d probably encourage me to do it if that’s what I wanted.”

“You’re probably right,” Bucky said, laughing. “Listen if you end up handing Gilmore his ass, I want pictures. Or a video.”

“You got it, Buck,” Steve replied, chuckling. Then, much to his shock, a sigh escaped him. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Steve said too quickly.

“Did you just _sigh?_ ” Bucky demanded. “Did Steve Rogers just _sigh_ over Thor Odinson?”

“No! Of course I didn’t!” he protested. 

“Dude! You should definitely hook up with him! Get it!” Bucky howled. 

“Bucky, no I don’t like him like that! I’m as straight as you!” Steve protested. 

“You are?” Bucky asked. “That’s not saying much.”

Steve did a double take before realizing that his friend wasn’t actually there. “Wait, huh?”

“I’m pansexual, Steve,” he said. 

Steve paused for a moment, equal parts stunned and confused. 

“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” Bucky asked. 

“Well, uh… no, I’ve never heard of pansexual,” Steve said. “I mean, I don’t have a problem with it, you’re my best friend, but what are you talking about?”

“It means that I’m attracted to people no matter what their gender is,” he explained. “Guys, girls, and everyone in between.”

“Well, I’m glad you’ve figured that out,” Steve stammered. “I mean, I’m glad you know now. Or, that you trusted me.”

Bucky laughed as Steve tripped over his own feet. “You get so flustered so easily,” he teased. 

“You’re a jerk.”

“Punk.”

Steve laughed, really laughed for the first time all week. _God it’s good to talk to him again,_ he thought. _It sounds like he’s been gone forever. It’s only been a week and a half._

“Steve, what am I doing here?” Bucky asked, suddenly serious. 

“What do you mean?” he replied.

“What am I doing here, in school, with no idea what I want to do or what I want to study?”” he asked. “I was never as smart as you. Hell, the only reason I even passed some of my advanced classes was because you helped me.”

“Buck, you didn’t get into those classes by being an idiot,” he said. “You’re smart. You’re capable of doing this.”

“I just feel kind of lost here, Stevie,” Bucky said. 

“You’ve just got the jitters,” Steve said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. “Once you’ve got a few weeks under your belt, you’ll feel better about it.”

“I hope you’re right, man,” he replied, sighing. 

“What would you do instead?”

“I don’t know, man,” he said. “I was thinking of joining the Army.”

“Why would you join the Army, Bucky?” Steve asked. “I mean, I won’t think less of you, whatever you do, you know that, but still…”

“I just think it would feel less like I’m wasting my time here and more like I’m actually doing something, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess I can understand that,” Steve admitted. “I think I’ve said the same to you, before.”

Bucky actually laughed at that. “Yeah, usually right before you were about to walk up to some bully like he wasn’t about to beat you to a pulp.”

Steve laughed in spite of himself. He was right, as much as he hated to admit it. “You remember what you used to say to me?”

“Don’t do anything reckless, punk,” Bucky said, chuckling.

“”Yeah, so don’t do anything reckless, you jerk,” he said, smiling. “You never know, you might have a breakthrough.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Bucky said. “All right, I gotta go. My roommate is trying to drag me out to a party or something.”

“Make good choices.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Bucky replied, chuckling. “See ya later, Steve.”

“See ya, Buck.”

Steve hung up and leaned back against the couch. He felt a lot better having talked to his friend. He was a little uneasy, though, from his friend’s encouraging him to “get it” with Thor. He mulled over what Bucky said. About him being… how did he put it? Pansexual? He never thought that Bucky would be anything other than straight. He was captain of the football team, after all. Steve only ever saw him dating girls, whether they were in their high school or another one. Now he was trying to imagine him with a guy. With someone like… Thor. Was someone like Thor even Bucky’s type with guys? He couldn’t even imagine the two of them together. Hell, he couldn’t even imagine Thor with _any_ guy. The guy had to be straight. Look at him! He was probably the most obviously masculine man he’d ever seen. There was no way he wasn’t straight.

He grabbed the remote and turned the tv on. He flipped channels until he found something mindless to distract himself.

_Ridiculous,_ he thought.


	5. Study Party

Thor woke up early Saturday morning. And by early, that meant around 10:00. He had a couple hours before he had to pick up Steve from his apartment. He stretched out on his bed. Light was streaming in through the window from the morning sun. He yawned and shook his head before he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He climbed out of bed and and meandered around the dirty clothes strewn over the floor of his room. 

_Hmm… maybe I should clean up before we go get him,_ he thought. It wasn’t likely that they would end up in his room, but you never know. He gathered up his laundry and left wandered downstairs. 

He emerged from the laundry room a few minutes later to find his mother sitting at the kitchen counter smiling like the cat that got into the cream as she stirred her tea. It was a nice kitchen with plenty of counter and cabinet space for the chef. The smell of coffee and bacon filled the air and Thor’s stomach rumbled loudly. His mother chuckled and pointed to the oven where the remnants of breakfast were being kept warm. He grabbed a plate and piled it high with bacon and eggs. He also grabbed an orange from the fruit basket on the counter and poured a mug of coffee before sitting on a stool across from his mother. 

“Doing your own laundry without being told?” she asked, still smiling. “That’s a first.”

“My room was getting a bit dirty,” he said innocently.

“It’s never seemed to matter before,” she said, grinning. “Are you sure this boy coming over today is just your friend?”

“Yes, mother,” he said in exasperation. “He’s just a friend. And my lab partner and we agreed to study together today, that’s all.”

“Aaaaahhh studying,” she said with a conspiratorial wink. “I understand. Just remember--”

“Mother, stop.”

“I’m just saying, don’t forget to--”

“That is not going to be a problem--”

“Oh I know, I put a box of condoms under your bed just in case.”

Thor began coughing violently. He thumped on his chest until his breathing returned to normal while his mother laughed mercilessly. Once he was able to breath properly he glared at his mother in shock. 

“Mother please tell me you’re joking,” he begged.

“Why would I do that?” she said, taking a sip of her tea. “That would be lying.”

“Oh gods,” he whispered. He practically ran towards the stairs.

“Oh wait!” she shouted. He turned around in time to catch a bottle of febreze air freshener. “Freshen up your room while you’re up there.”

Thor grumbled as he turned around and ran to the stairs and up to the second floor. As soon as he got to his room he flung back the edge of the blanket over the bed and checked frantically. Sure enough there was a box of condoms. There were actually a couple boxes. For… different sizes. He shoved them back further under the bed and sat on the cold, hardwood floor. He felt mortified. 

_It could be worse,_ he thought. _Steve could have found them before I knew they were there._

He shuddered at the thought. It wasn’t that he didn’t find Steve attractive. He did, but…

_But what?_ he asked himself. For the life of him he couldn’t think of a response. It was not like he did not have opportunities to have sex. This was New York City, after all, and he was now of the age of consent in this country. Finding a man to sleep with wouldn’t be all that difficult for him. Finding someone to actually be with… that was the hard part. 

_Well that’s enough brooding for one day,_ he thought. He got up and flipped the air freshener over in his hand and sprayed it around his room. His mother, while frequently meddlesome, was usually right about such things. Not Steve. 

He checked his alarm clock. It was nearly 10:30 now. He needed to shower before he left the house to pick up Steve. No time for a long shower, then. Oh well.

That didn’t stop him from sighing for a moment when he stepped into the shower and the hot water hit his skin. He hung his head for a moment, letting it cascade over the muscular plains of his shoulders and down his back, soothing the aches from yesterday’s practice. Getting the position he wanted meant he had to work even harder. He also got tackled more whereas before he did more of the tackling. Actually having an offensive lineman tackle you to the ground took some getting used to, but it was not like he didn’t have experience with that playing rugby. If anything, all the padding and protection he wore made getting hit a lot easier. Laughably so.

He shook himself out of his reverie before he could succumb to the temptation to spend more time in the shower than he could afford. He was still hungry after all. He washed quickly. He would need to blow dry his hair but there were worse things. Like appearing shabby. As soon as he was done he stepped reluctantly out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.

By the time he had gotten dressed and his hair was dry, it was 11:15. He rushed downstairs to where he had left his food on the counter. His mother got up and got his plate out of the oven. 

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late,” she said, her earlier meddlesome mischief replaced by the pragmatism that accompanied being married to a diplomat. Being late was practically a sin to her. 

Thor complied, barely tasting the food as he shovelled it into his mouth and downed his coffee. He eschewed brushing his teeth for the moment and grabbed a pack of trident gum and popped a couple pieces in his mouth. 

“All right,” he said. “Let us go fetch the person you apparently think will be your future son in law.”

“Don’t tease, Thor. It’s unbecoming,” she said as she marched out the door. “And it’s not my fault that I want grandkids someday. It’s only natural.”

“Mother, I’m 18,” he grumbled. 

“And I’m not getting any younger,” she replied. Thor groaned in resignation as he got into the car.  


* * *

They arrived at the address and Thor rang the bell to be let in. When the door opened he bounded up the steps to where Steve’s apartment was supposed to be. It looked small from the outside. Smaller than he was expecting. It was located in an old, red brick building. He wondered briefly what his parents did for a living and reminded himself that most people didn’t have diplomats for parents. He also reminded himself that the whole capitalism thing in the United States was probably responsible for this. Still, it wasn’t like he was living in squalor.

He got to the door with the number Steve gave him and knocked. A couple minutes later. Steve emerged with his backpack and closed the door quietly. Thor smiled and hugged him when he was free. 

“Steve!” he yelled with enthusiasm. “Are you ready to melt our brains into mush?”

Steve shushed him. “Mom’s sleeping,” he responded. 

“Oh, sorry,” he whispered. “It’s noon and she’s still sleeping?”

“She’s a nurse at the hospital,” Steve explained, walking towards the stairs. “Works long hours. And she’s been called in to work night shifts this week because one of the other nurses got fired.”

“That is unfortunate,” Thor said, wincing. “I'm sorry.”

“It's fine,” Steve replied. “I try not to be a burden when I can do something for myself. Now come on! Where'd you park?”

Thor led him down to where his mother was waiting. As soon as they were down she waved at them.

“Jesus, Thor!” he exclaimed. “Nice car.”

“Oh… thanks,” he replied sheepishly. “It's nothing special.” 

It really wasn't to him. It was a car. He was used to the kind of cars his family bought. His father had nice vehicles because he had to maintain certain appearances as part of being a diplomat. Even in New York, where they didn't necessarily need a car, they had a couple just for getting around. His mother stepped out of the car as they approached.

“Ah you must be Steven!” she said warmly, bringing him into a fierce embrace. Thor chuckled as awkwardly accepted the hug. He looked a bit like he was staring into oncoming traffic. When she finally let him go he breathed deeply.

“You seem like a nice boy,” she said. “Much better than Thor's usual friends. So rowdy and rambunctious.”

“It's nice to meet you, too, ma'am,” he said politely. He was blushing again. He always seemed to blush when he was hugged. _Americans are so strange,_ Thor thought. 

His mother ushered them into the car, peppering Steve with questions. Despite what he said, she seemed to be conducting an interview. Thor resisted the urge to roll his eyes. They climbed into the back seat and she drove off.

“Does she greet everyone like that?” Steve whispered when she paused to take a breath.

“Of course she does,” Thor replied, chuckling. “She's Swedish.”

“Is that why you crush living daylights out of me when we see each other in school?” Steve asked, laughing.

“Of course it is,” he replied, throwing an arm over his shoulders. “Do you realize that this is the first time I have heard you laugh?”

“What?” Steve asked, blushing again. “T-that can't be true. I laugh a lot…”

“You should,” Thor replied. “It agrees with you.”

Steve's face became even more red, impossible as it seemed. Thor laughed and removed his arm from Steve's shoulders. He didn't notice as Steve scooted away from him shyly. He did however notice his mother smiling back at him through the rear view mirror. He shook his head slightly. She laughed.

“Am I missing something?” Steve asked.

“Nothing, love,” his mother said sweetly. “Don't worry about it.”It's a good thing that I cleaned my room this morning, Thor thought when they arrived at his house. I don't think mother would leave us alone otherwise. 

* * *

They got out and Steve gaped at the house like it was the grandest thing he had ever seen. It baffled him just a bit. It wasn't like it was a huge house. It was ordinary from his perspective.

“You live in a house?” Steve asked. “In Brooklyn?”

“Yes,” he replied simply.

“I don't mean to be rude, but… how?” 

“My father is the chief diplomat at the Swedish embassy in D.C.,” Thor explained.

Steve's eyebrows rose as he whistled. “Not too shabby.”

Thor chuckled. But before he could lead them inside, his mother decided to give Steve the grand tour. They started in the living room. Steve looked just a bit stunned as he took his took his shoes off at the door and set them to the side. 

“Welcome to our humble abode, Steve,” she said cheerfully. Ever the gracious host, Thor thought to himself, crossing his arms. “This is the living room. We have a small fridge in here with wine and beer. Since my husband is the chief diplomat for the Swedish embassy, this is technically Sweden. As long as you’re 18, feel free to help yourself. Within reason, of course.”

Steve was definitely stunned. “Umm… thanks, but I don’t… drink,” he said.

“Oh, no worries then,” she said, moving on. Steve followed after a bit of hesitation. “Here’s the kitchen. If you feel hungry at all, let Mrs. Bianchi know. She’s our personal chef and she can make anything you want.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” she said. 

“And this,” she said gesturing to the man wearing a suit. He was thin, clean shaven, and middle aged. “Is our butler, Mr. Baker. Feel free to let him know if you need anything.”

“Just don’t ask him to bake anything,” Thor whispered to Steve. He covered a smile as Steve snickered gracefully.

Mr. Baker didn’t acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary had happened. He was difficult to read in that respect. But he was certainly dependable. 

_First she offers him drink and now she’s offering him food,_ Thor thought, trying to hide the surprise on his face. _She has never offered this to any of our other friends. Except the Swedish ones._

From there they went to the dining room, the study (which was typically only used by his father). When they arrived in her art studio, Thor saw something he never really expected to see on Steve’s face: awe. He walked right up to one of the canvases on the other side of the room and began moving around the room, looking at each of her projects. Thor took a moment to look around himself. He was never really that curious about what she did in here. Some were paintings of nature settings. Other were sketches of still lifes. There was one painting of him and another of Loki and another painting of all of them together as a family. He vaguely remembered her taking a picture of all of them. This must have been why. 

“This is incredible,” Steve said. “How do you have time to do all of these?”

“Oh thank you, love,” she replied. “And I just have a bit of time on my hands. I have friends, of course, but any spare moment I have is usually spent in here.”

Thor got the feeling that Steve wanted to stay here a while longer, but pragmatism won out. Mostly from his mother. She led them down to the basement floor. 

“Is it really necessary to show Steve where the laundry room is, mother?” Thor asked, keenly aware that his dirty clothes were lying in a pile, in said room.

“It’s not a grand tour if we skip something, dear,” she said. She pointed at the door leading to the laundry room. “There’s the laundry room. It’s dangerous.”

She took them through another room in the other direction. “Here’s the workout room, in case the urge strikes you,” she said. She gestured towards another room on the other side. “Through there is a bathroom with a shower for when you’re done. We keep it stocked with clean towels.”

Finally, finally, they headed upstairs. Loki had emerged from his room. He deigned to acknowledge their presence as they passed through the kitchen. He didn’t do mornings on the weekends. His mother, thankfully skipped everyone else’s room and just showed him to Thor’s room. 

“Thanks for the uh, tour, Mrs…?” he trailed off. He probably doesn’t know how Swedish names work, Thor realized. 

“Frigga, please,” she replied. “Let me know if you need anything, Steven.”

“I am sure we will be fine, mother,” Thor said, going around them to open the door to his room. 

“Yeah, thanks for the, uh, tour and everything,” Steve said behind him, “but we really need to get some work done.”

“Of course,” she said. “Don’t work too hard now!”

_Gods save me,_ Thor thought. 

* * *

It was a good thing neither of them was actually tutoring the other. As smart as they were, neither of them really knew the material yet. Much of their time studying was spent relearning what they had been taught the week before by going through notes, the book, and looking up lectures on the Internet. The history teacher, especially was not very good at his job. Which was ironic because it was supposed to be American history and Thor got the feeling that the guy did not know as much about the history of his country as he thought he did. A couple hours into the study session they decided to take a break.

“Your mind turn to mush yet?” Steve asked, grinning.

“It is getting there,” he admitted. “And you?”

“I can do this all day,” Steve joked. 

“Let’s hold off on that for now,” Thor said, chuckling. “Do you watch any sports?”

“I watch football,” Steve said. “Unfortunately football season hasn’t started yet.”

“Really?” Thor asked with surprise. “I didn’t take you to be a fan, considering…”

“What? That because I get beat up by guys on the football team I don’t like the sport?” Steve asked. “It’s still fun to watch. Bucky and I used to watch games on the weekend all the time.”

“You were friends with Bucky Barnes?” Thor asked, amazed.

“Bucky and I have been best friends since before I could remember,” Steve said. “He’s always had my back, even when jerks like Gilmore Hodge gave him grief for sticking up for me instead of joining in.”

“I am glad.”

“I don’t want your pity, Thor,” he said.

Thor regarded him for a moment. “I do not think you need pity, Steve,” he said. “I think you are kind, but you have not received much kindness yourself.”

“Whatever,” he replied, blushing. Thor realized that this was the first time that he had seen Steve blush while he was facing him. He was always beside him. He was… beautiful. Thor leaned forward.

“Let me,” he said quietly, leaning forward. 

“Let you, what?” Steve asked, his blush growing. 

“Be kind to you.”

“Thor…”

Suddenly the door opened and Steve jumped away from him. Thor groaned as he turned around. It was Loki. Of fucking course it is, he thought. Loki had a tendency to have either brilliant timing or the worst timing in the world. It depended on his mood on any given day at any given moment. It boggled his mind sometimes trying to keep up with his chaotic, slippery brother.

Loki looked between the two of them and a knowing, mischievous look flashed across his face. 

“What?” Thor demanded. 

“Mother says lunch is ready,” Loki said, grinning. 

“Great,” Steve said jumping up from his chair. “We were just taking a break anyway.”

Steve walked out of the room and rushed downstairs. Thor groaned again as he got up and looked his brother in the eye. He had that look in his eyes. The look that said he knew something and he was just waiting for the moment when he could do something with it. Thor hated that look. 

“Brother, you know that I love you,” Thor said, glaring at him. “But I am trying not to punch you right now.”

“Dear brother,” Loki said, mischief dancing in his eyes. “I am sure I have no idea what you are talking about.” 

He walked out and followed him down the stairs. Thor stared after him and grimaced. He could not get the image of Steve’s face out of his mind. Blushing and beautiful and stunning. Thor sighed as he followed them downstairs. Maybe food would help distract him from his friend.


	6. Confusion

It was nearly 6:00 in the evening by the time they were done studying for the day. Steve had been keeping his distance from Thor for the rest of the afternoon. Ever since the break they had taken earlier that day. When Thor had leaned in close, whispering. “Let me be kind.” The words resounded in Steve’s skull, echoing and reverberating through his mind all afternoon. It distracted him from the studying they were supposed to be doing. 

What happened, whatever it was, whatever it meant Steve still wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He just knew that _something_ had passed between them at that moment as he had stared into Thor’s warm, blue eyes as he offered him… kindness. Then, for better or worse, Loki had come in and whatever that moment had been, was over. There was a brief moment of relief when he had gone downstairs and distracted himself with studying the sturdy, ornate, oaken dining table. But he kept wondering…

Thor had proposed that they do something fun when they were done with the studying. Steve had refused, as politely as he knew how, claiming that his mother needed help with something. It was sort of true. His mother always appreciated help with dinner. She didn't need it, per se. Besides, he needed some time away from Thor to… figure things out.

So it was that he was sitting in the shotgun seat while Thor's mom, Frigga, drove him home. Thor was in the back seat. He didn't say much. Thankfully Frigga spared them from the awkward silence. 

“I trust your time with us was well spent?” she asked as they pulled out of the driveway. Steve was still amazed that they lived in an actual house. Hell, he was amazed that he even knew someone who _lived_ in a house in Brooklyn. Literally every other “house” he knew of had been converted into an apartment a long time ago. It wasn't as if anyone could actually afford a house in New York City. Except for Thor's family, it seemed.

“Yes, ma'am,” he replied. “it was a… productive day.”

“Wonderful,” she said with a warm smile gracing her face. “I am glad that you had a good time. Next time you come you must let us entertain you properly.”

_Oh Jesus,_ he thought. “I would love to,” he replied. “Can't wait.”

“Excellent!” she said excitedly. “My beloved husband has a charity dinner to attend next weekend so that won't be possible. We'll be in touch, though.”

“Is this charity event one that we have to attend, mother?” Thor asked. Steve got the feeling that Thor _really_ didn't enjoy such things. 

“No son,” she replied. “Just your father and I. We'll be back by Sunday.”

Thor hummed, apparently satisfied with that answer. 

“I can't imagine what it's like,” Steve admitted. “Going to parties and formal events and dinners all the time. Do you enjoy it?”

“I do, Steve, I do,” she said, smiling. “It is a job, the same as any other. Sometimes it is demanding, but I do enjoy it.”

“My mom says the same thing about her job,” he replied. 

Frigga smiled at him. “You are a fine man, Steve,” she said. “I am sure your mother is very proud of you.”

Steve chuckled and ducked his head as he blushed at the praise. “Well, uh I just hope to be as little a burden as possible,” he said. “Her job is hard enough as it is.”

“What of your father?” Thor asked. “Does he not help?”

Steve didn't speak for a moment. It stretched as he thought of how to answer. If to answer. The last thing he wanted was to give Thor, the man who had everything, and his family another reason to pity him. He couldn't stand it.

“He's dead,” he said simply. 

Frigga didn't miss a beat. “My condolences, Steve.”

Steve was suddenly glad that he wasn't sitting next to Thor. “Thank you,” he said.

It was only expected.  


* * *

  
When Frigga finally pulled up to the sidewalk outside his apartment Steve got his backpack and practically jumped out of the car. That wasn't enough to avoid a farewell hug from his hostess, though. Frigga was out with her arms around him before he could think to object.

“You are welcome in our home whenever you like, Steve,” she said. Steve managed to mumble his thanks through the crushing pressure on his chest. 

She apparently decided to have mercy on him and released him, getting back in the car. Steve breathed the sweet air of freedom when she let him go. Thor had gotten out of the car now. He made no move to embrace him, though. Steve was a little glad. And a little disappointed. _Why am I disappointed?_ he wondered. _It's not like we've known each other long enough to be anything more than friends… right?_

“Look, Steve,” he said awkwardly. “I'm… sorry for making you uncomfortable earlier. It wasn't my intention.”

_Oh._ “It's fine, Thor,” Steve said. “I'm just not used to all this physical affection.”

“You are sure?”

“Yeah, don't worry about me,” Steve said, giving what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I'll adjust.”

Whether it convinced him or not, Steve couldn't tell. But he didn't push the subject at least. That was something. Steve jogged up the steps and waved goodbye before opening the door and entering his apartment building. When he got to the door to his apartment he burst in, tossed his backpack to the floor and slumped against the door. He breathed in and sighed. 

“What’cha making?” he asked.

“Beef stew,” she announced proudly. He smiled to himself. The extra shifts she had picked up must have been good for something.

"Thank God." He collapsed on the couch and held a pillow over his face. He groaned loudly.

“Was it that bad?” his mom asked from the kitchen. She had a twinkle in her eye as she chopped some vegetables. Steve flipped the pillow over on his stomach.

“It was fine,” he said.

“Is that why you're groaning like you just spent all day in confession?”

Steve chuckled at that. They hadn't even been to church in years. At least since elementary school. Confession probably _would_ take all day.

“No, it's just… something happened between me and Thor today and it was… really awkward.” 

“So aside from that, were you able to get work done?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he ground out. 

“So what did he say that was so awkward?”

_I can't tell her what actually happened,_ he thought. How would she react? Thankfully, he didn't have to make up something else.

“He asked about dad,” he said.

The sound of chopping vegetables paused. It was just a brief pause, but he caught it. It was a difficult subject for both of them to talk about with others. The only other person he could really talk about him with was Dr. Erskine. 

“Oh,” she said simply. There wasn't really any need to say anything more than that. He heard her walk towards him. When her face appeared over the edge of the couch above him, there was a sad, understanding smile on her face.

“Come on,” she said, reaching down with a hand to squeeze his shoulder. “Help me chop these veggies.”

She walked back into the kitchen. For a moment, Steve didn't move. But only for a moment. Cooking was one of the things he and his mother could do together and had been for years. It was an escape from Joe. If they were both in the kitchen, he wouldn't bother them. The only thing the man had loved, aside from booze, was food. As long as they were both in the kitchen, he didn't bother them. Well, he’d bothered them less, anyway.

_All right,_ he thought. _Enough thinking about Joe._

He got up off the couch and walked over to the kitchen. His mom handed him the knife and moved over to another part of the counter and started drying the beef. In front of him were carrots, potatoes, and an onion. A couple carrots were already chopped, so he started chopping the rest. It was calming, in a way, to do something simple, something familiar. 

“How are your classes going?”

“They're going all right so far,” he replied. “It's weird not seeing Bucky at all, though.” 

His mom hummed in understanding. “Have you heard from him at all since school started?”

“Yeah, he called last night,” he said, smiling.

“I'm glad. It must have been good to talk to him.”

“It was,” he said smiling to himself.

“Got a favorite class yet?” 

“Art, of course,” he said with a chuckle. “Been that way for years.”

“I’m glad that you still enjoy it,” she said. “Such talent should not go to waste.”

“I’m not _that_ talented,” he replied. “All I do is scribble on some paper and give it to the teacher. Doesn’t mean I’m actually good at it.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, son,” she said. “You’ve worked hard for years to develop your art. That is something to take pride in.”

Steve resisted the urge say something self-deprecating. He didn’t see his art the way she did. Or his teacher did. Or anyone, really. All he saw were the flaws, the places where shading was too dark or where the drawing was messy or where the coloring hadn’t come out how he imagined. He returned his attention to the vegetables before he cut a finger off. 

“So what is this Thor person like anyway?” she asked. “You’ve talked about him a lot this week, but what is he like, exactly?”

Steve thought for a moment. Where to start? “He’s… Swedish,” he said. 

“Swedish? Really?” she said with surprise. “Is he an exchange student?”

“Not really,” he said. “His father is the chief diplomat at the Swedish embassy in DC.”

He grinned as he heard his mother whistle. “You let me send you to the home of a foreign government official looking like that?”

Steve looked down at himself. He was wearing a plain blue t-shirt and khaki shorts. Nothing fancy, certainly.

“Well, in my defense, he failed to mention that he was the son of a government official,” he said, chuckling. “Anyway, he is very friendly. He greets people with the biggest hugs I’ve ever felt. He laughs a lot. And he beat up Gilmore Hodge.”

“He what?” she said, shocked. “The bully?”

“Yeah.”

“When did that happen?” she demanded.

“On Monday,” he replied. “Mr. Fredrickson sent us to detention for it.”

His mother sighed in disapproval. The administration had always done a horrible job where bullies were concerned, but their willful blindness to Gilmore Hodge’s offenses because of his father’s status was truly depraved. She had said many times that if they could afford to send him to another school in the area, she would. Alas, public schooling was all that was available to them. Private schooling in Brooklyn was way too expensive and it was a challenge paying for the gas as it was without having to take Steve to a different school farther away.

_Que sera sera,_ Steve thought. 

Finally they were finished preparing the stew and they could relax on the couch to watch reruns of Chopped while they waited for the stew to finish cooking. Steve’s stomach rumbled as the smell began to waft through the apartment. The cooking show on tv wasn’t helping either. The idea that people could make food like this, that people ate food like this, every day was unbelievable to him. He’d kill to have food like that just once. 

_I need to distract myself from this,_ he thought. He went over to his bag and grabbed his portfolio and flipped through his drawings until he got to a blank page. His art homework had been to make a picture of a person. Any person, any medium, any style. It didn’t matter. The idea was just to practice with people. Steve got out a pencil and began to doodle. 

This was really the only thing he could do that made him lose track of time. Focusing on the sketching, the shading, erasing mistakes, seeing the picture in his mind show up with clarity on the page. If he were like Bucky, he would have been on the football team or something. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t run fast or lift heavy objects or take a hit or any of the athletic things Bucky relished in. But what he could do was draw.

“Is that what he looks like?” his mother asked. He snapped out of his reverie and took a moment to really look at what he was drawing. It was, actually, Thor. His broad shoulders squared and powerful. Long hair framing his face as it flowed over his shoulders. He was smiling that big, toothy smile that seemed to light up his entire face, making his eyes scrunch up. His strong, square jaw was covered in a scruffy layer of neat facial hair and he stood with an easy, confident grace. 

“He’s very handsome, isn’t he?” she continued. “He seems kind, too.”

“How can you tell?” Steve asked, his mind going back to what had happened between them earlier that day. The words began to echo in his mind again. 

“His eyes,” she said, pointing. “He has kind eyes.”

Steve looked at what he had drawn. Sure enough, in the smile there was a… tenderness. A kindness in his eyes. He realized that this was the look on Thor’s face when that moment had passed between them. 

“Yeah, I suppose he does.”

_What does this mean?_ he wondered.


	7. Doubt

The next week came too soon, as it always did. Thor woke up, went to school, went to practice, came home, did whatever homework he had, and went to bed until it was time to repeat the whole thing. All the while he tried not to be awkward around Steve. It was a strange feeling, being unsure. Steve didn't seem like he was bothered by what happened. He certainly didn't say anything, but that didn't stop Thor from having the slightest bit of hesitation when he saw him. Should he embrace him as he usually did? Would it make him uncomfortable?

It also didn't stop him from actually embracing the smaller man when he saw him. Or stop him from being tempted to let the hug last longer than was necessary. Or keep him from sneaking glances at him when they sat together in classes. It was enough though. Enough to cause something uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and unsettling to enter his mind.

Doubt.

The only thing that was successfully able to distract from his troubles was American football practice. He worked with the coaches to develop plays and worked with the team to actually carry them out. It was harder than he thought, but he was always up for the challenge. The only major challenge that presented itself was the fact that Gilmore Hodge seemed to think that he had personally slighted him by getting assigned the position of quarterback. That was not the problem so much. It was the fact that he constantly dragged his feet. It was annoying more than anything. 

Wednesday was particularly difficult. He had come to school to find Hodge and his goons shoving Steve around. Steve, as usual, adamantly refused to be cowed. Thor had to stop himself from admiring the show of bravery to step between his friend and his teammates. 

“Leave him be, Hodge,” he said. He wondered if he should be as protective of him as he had been when this happened before. Would Steve want that? Or would he want to be more independent? 

“Or what?” he challenged, sneering at him. “You gonna protect your little boyfriend? Can’t believe another faggot made quarterback. You all must be suckin’ coach’s di--”

Thor decked him across the face. “ You want to fight? Why don’t you back those words up, little man?” Hodge didn’t get up, but lay moaning on the floor. _Pathetic,_ he thought. _He can’t even put up a decent fight._

“Thor stop,” Steve said. “It’s not worth getting in detention again.” 

“Then go, I can handle this.”

“Hell, no,” Steve replied. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Before Thor could respond, one of Hodge’s goons was swinging. He pushed Steve out of the way and blocked it before grabbing his neck and kneeing him in his stomach. The guy, Brian O’Shanassy, went down gasping for breath. The other one, Coleman, tried to grab him from behind but Thor elbowed him in the stomach then spun around and followed up with an uppercut. 

“Is that it? Is that all the fight you are capable of?” he demanded. “You people are so petty. And tiny.” He turned around and looked at Steve. “Are you well?”

“I’m fine,” he said simply. “We should get going. The administration has it in for us as it is.”

He moved to rest his arm around Steve’s shoulders… but Steve flinched at his touch. Thor was surprised. He just prevented him from getting harassed, after all. Thor decided to let it be. _I do not really know him that well, after all,_ he thought to himself. At least Steve was safe and Hodge and his ilk got what they deserved. For now.  


* * *

  
Unfortunately, the events that morning left a bad taste in Thor’s mouth for the rest of the day. It didn’t take long before someone in the administration found him and informed him that he was to serve detention that day for beating up those bullies. The fact that they actively protected those wretched boys made his blood boil. He was completely out of it during his first period calculus class that he completely forgot to take notes. Fortunately Steve had the same teacher later for the same subject. He could borrow notes from him.

He was so distracted during physics that Steve had to pinch him in order to get him to focus on the task at hand. Some lab about momentum or something. He sort of knew what was going on, but honestly he was just waiting for school to end so he could go to practice. He was feeling antsy and he needed to blow off some steam.

Suddenly physics was over and he could finally get out. He rushed out the door and down the hall to where the hall branched off to the math hall where he could go down to the locker room. 

“Thor!” someone shouted. He turned around saw Steve fighting his way through the crowd towards him. 

“Steve? What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“You didn’t forget did you?” Steve replied. “We have detention today.”

Thor groaned. _Fuck me over a barrel,_ he thought.  


* * *

  
Practice wasn’t as bad, but it still felt like it dragged. When it was finally over, he practically ran out of the locker room and sighed with relief when he saw his mother waiting for him at the front parking lot. He got into the car as his mother pulled up to the school, throwing his sports gear into the back seat.

“Bad day of practice, dear?” she asked in Swedish.

“Bad day all around, mother,” he answered, sighing. 

“What happened?”

“I think I have screwed up with Steve,” he answered. 

“Why is that?” she asked. “Darling you couldn't have known that his father was dead. It was an honest mistake.”

Thor told her about what happened between them before Loki had interrupted them on Saturday. How he and Steve had shared an intimate moment before Steve jumped the moment Loki entered and the moment had disappeared like a puff of smoke. How there had been some distance between them ever since.

“That would explain why he sat in the front on the way home,” she commented. He was immensely grateful that she decided not to rub it in his face about her being right. She had an annoying tendency to be right about such things. “But I am not sure that would be sufficient to think that you have erred.”

“I also got detention today,” he said. 

“Why?”

“The same reason as before,” Thor replied. “Gilmore Hodge and his… friends were bullying Steve again. I stopped them.”

His mother sighed. “Three grown men picking on a boy half their size,” she muttered. “Disgraceful. Even worse considering you and Steve are the ones getting punished.”

“I just don't know what to do about it,” he said. 

“There might not be anything to do except wait,” she said. “Although if this is going to happen often, your father may want to do something about it. Has he given you any reason to suspect that he finds your company disagreeable?”

“No,” he said after a moment. He kept the fact that he flinched at his touch earlier to himself. Steve might not appreciate that. 

“Then perhaps it's nothing,” she said with optimism.

“Or perhaps I misread the signals entirely,” Thor grumbled.

“Self-pity doesn't suit you, Thor,” she said, sharply. “It surely isn't as bad as you think. I saw the way he looked at you. He does like you. He just might not be aware of it yet.”

He sighed again. “And stop sighing,” she added. “This isn't some cheesy love story. You must believe in yourself.”

“Are you certain?” he asked.

“Darling, I appreciate that you're not in your right mind right now,” she said with a sly grin on her face. “But have you ever known me to be wrong?”

Thor laughed at that. “No, mother. You're right.”

“Of course I am. Now stop brooding. You don't have the face for it.”

“Fine, fine,” he grumbled before he grinned. “By the way, did I mention I’m the quarterback for the team now?”

His mother immediately looked at him excitedly and cheered. “I knew you would get it!” she declared. “Your months playing rugby finally paid off!”

“They would have paid off a lot sooner if it hadn’t been for Bucky Barnes,” he said, chuckling. “That one could probably handle himself on a rugby field, no problem.” 

“An American who would be cut out to play a real sport,” she said with a sniff. She turned onto the street with their house and pulled into the driveway. “I never thought I would see the day.”

Thor laughed as he jumped out of the car. “I promise,” he declared loudly in Swedish. “I shall lead the team to victory and vanquish our foes and bring glory to the realm! None shall stand before the might of Thor Odinson and the George Washington High School Avengers!”

His mother cheered at the speech. “That’s my son,” she said proudly. “Now grab your things and get inside.”

His father was away at a charity event that evening, so dinner was significantly quieter than usual. It was also much more boring than usual, to Thor. He enjoyed hearing about his father's job, talking to him about rugby and listening to his advice about leading a sports team. His parents might not share his views about American football, but they were supportive of his endeavors. And even if American football was a wimpy version of rugby, it was as close as he could get in this country. 

Later that evening he was trying to concentrate on his English homework (writing really was not his forte) when he received a text from Steve.

_Hey are you feeling alright?_ it read. _You’ve been acting weird all week._

_Damn,_ he thought. Steve is smarter than he lets on. Which was saying something because he was already smarter than most of the people in the school. Somewhere in the back of his mind, though, he thought it was sweet that Steve decided to check up on him. He really should have been the one to check on him considering what had happened today.

_It’s nothing, I’m fine,_ he texted back quickly. _You don’t need to worry about me._

_Uh-huh,_ came the reply. _Is that why you’ve been looking like you’re afraid to break me whenever you see me?_

“Oh fuck me,” Thor said sighing. _Fine, you caught me. I was wondering if my touching you bothered you._

_Is that still bothering you? I told you, I’m still getting used to the whole, physical affection thing. It’s fine._

_You flinched today after I beat up those bullies today._

_Oh. That. It’s… complicated._

Thor considered pressing him for details, but decided against it. If Steve wanted to tell him, he would tell him. It might be best to wait as his mother advised. As much as it drove him mad to do so. Waiting wasn’t his thing.

_All right. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Let me make it up to you._

_What did you have in mind?_

“Quick think of something fun,” he said out loud. _Want to go see the Mets game on Sunday?_

_How exactly do you plan on getting Mets tickets on such short notice? I mean, hell yes I want to go to the Mets game, but how exactly do plan to get tickets?_

Thor chuckled. _Did you happen to forget that my father is a big fancy diplomat with lots of connections? I am sure it will not be a problem._

_Well then, let’s go see the Mets game!_

Thor chuckled, pleased with himself. Now he actually had to get his father to agree to try and get him tickets to the game. Thankfully, the easiest way to convince his father to be on board with something was to get his mother to ask him. She was somehow able to get him to do anything she put her mind to. And, luckily, she had gotten it into her head that her new pet project was making sure Thor and Steve got together. She probably wouldn’t be difficult to convince.

He jogged downstairs, waving at Mr. Baker as he passed through the kitchen. He found her in the art studio working on some project she had been trying to figure out for weeks. It was always a bizarre experience being in her studio. He had no idea what this whole art thing was about. He was not really a creative person. He was very much a doer. He was smart. He was strong. But this whole creativity thing was beyond him. 

“If this is about a solution to your problem with Steve, then step into my office,” she said. “I’ve got some thoughts on the matter.”

“As it happens, so do I,” he said chuckling. The smell paint and paint thinner and canvas was nearly suffocating. 

“Do you?” she asked, turning around. She smiled and gestured for him to sit down on a stool. She sat down across from him while she wiped her paint smudged hands on a rag. “Tell me what your idea is.”

“There’s a Mets game on Sunday,” he said. “I asked him if he wanted to go see it.”

“The Mets? Really?” she asked. “A baseball game is your big idea for fixing your problem with Steve?”

“Yes,” he said innocently. “What would you suggest, exactly?”

“Maybe something a little bit more romantic and meaningful than a sports event! Dinner and a movie. You cannot beat the classics!” she exclaimed. “Does he even like the Mets? Does he even like baseball? Do you even like baseball?”

“Yes I like baseball,” Thor said defensively. He whipped his phone out and showed her the texts between them. She rolled her eyes at the bit where he was kicking himself. 

“Well, at least he’s not willing to put up with your bullshit,” she said. “That’s always a good sign.”

“Mother, you are aware that we aren’t going on a date, right?” he asked with a sigh. Although, having said that he couldn’t deny that he was feeling nervous about going out with Steve, even if it was just as friends. 

“Semantics. First impressions are always important,” she said, waving a hand. “But at least you seem to have stumbled on a half-decent idea for making up for your whinging.”

“Thank you, I think,” he said. “So can you convince father to get me the tickets?”

“Of course, dear,” she said, patting his cheek. “I’ll get you the tickets by the end of the week.”

“You are the best mother,” he said as he embraced her. 

“Oh yes, I know,” she said. “I suppose you’ll need some money and a driver?”

“That would be appreciated,” he said. “I’m sure I could get a license by Sunday, but I do not think you would let me drive one of the cars.”

HIs mother laughed and held his face in her hands. “Of course I wouldn’t,” she said, smiling. “But once you do have your license, you can drive wherever you want. Also remember that just because you can drink here doesn’t mean you can get alcohol at the game.”

He sighed. “Americans.”


	8. Butterflies and Baseballs

Steve woke up early on Sunday morning excited to actually see a pro baseball game for the first time in his life. He didn’t actually expect this to happen until he had some kind of job of his own. His mother was just a little jealous of him, but she didn’t begrudge him his day at the stadium. She had actually found it quite amusing for some reason. Though that might have been because Steve was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement.

He was still excited, but the bouncing off the walls had been replaced by… something else. What was it people talked about? Butterflies in their stomach? It did kind of feel like there was some fluttering in his stomach.

“Come on, Steve,” he said, stepping out of the shower. “It’s just a baseball game, why are you nervous? It’s just Thor. It’s not like you’re taking a girl out on a date. And what kind of person would ask someone out to a baseball game for their first date, anyway?”

He decided to text Bucky about it. If nothing else he could vent about it to someone who he knew wouldn’t judge him. Knowing him he’ll probably tell me that it is a date. After he finishes yelling at me for going to a Mets game without him.

He sent him a quick text and put his phone down while he dried off. There was still a lot of time left before Thor would pick him up to go to the game. They planned on getting there an hour or so early. Game days could be crazy, especially at the pro level. And they were in New York City, so getting anywhere by driving was a challenge in and of itself. He’d suggested just taking the metro, but Thor insisted that they would be fine. 

Steve had no sooner put on some clothes than he heard his phone ringing. It was Bucky. He grinned as he answered the phone. 

“What do you mean you’re going to a Mets game?” Bucky asked. His voice sounded strained with the struggle to not yell at him. It was still early, his roommate was probably still sleeping. 

“Thor got me tickets,” Steve said. “We’re going to this afternoon’s game.”

“And what? You’re getting cold feet? If you don’t want to go to the game I will get a taxi and come back to take your ticket!”

“No I’m not getting cold feet,” Steve replied. “It’s just… I don’t know I’m nervous or something.”

“What? Butterflies in your stomach?”

“Yeah, basically,” he said. 

“Dude, this is Thor,” Bucky told him. “I’d probably have butterflies in my stomach if he asked me out to a game.”

“But it’s a baseball game, Buck,” he countered. “Doesn’t exactly scream ‘first date’ does it?”

“Well that depends, doesn’t it?” he said. “How do you feel about going to the game with Thor?”

“Who are you, my therapist?” Steve joked. “Umm… I don’t know. I feel… excited? Nervous? Kinda dreading it but also can’t wait, you know?”

“And what do you think of Thor?” he asked. 

“I mean… I like him,” he said. “He’s nice. He’s smart. He’s strong. He gives great hugs.”

“You hug a lot?” Bucky asked. 

“Yeah, all the time.”

“Do you know what he smells like?”

“What?!”

“Just go with me on this,” Bucky ground out. 

Steve thought for a moment. “He smells like… smoke. Like, from fire not from cigarettes. And pine.”

“Uh-huh. And what goes through your head when you’re hugging him?” he pressed.

“I feel… happy. Safe, you know?” he answered, after a bit of hesitation. 

Bucky sighed. “Stevie I think you got it bad for Thor.”

“That’s impossible!” Steve protested. “I’m straight… right?”

“I don’t know, Steve,” Bucky replied. “I’m just a raging queer, so it’s not like I know anything about liking guys.”

Steve sighed. His mind was racing with questions. “So… am I?”

“Are you what?” Bucky asked. 

“You know… gay?” he said around the lump in his throat. 

“I don’t know, dude,” Bucky replied. “I can’t answer that for you. You might be. You might be bixexual. You might be pansexual like me. You might just have a thing for Thor. But it does sound like you have a thing for Thor.”

Steve was quiet for a while. He wasn’t really sure how to process… this.

“Anyway,” his friend continued. “The good news is that you don’t have to figure it out right away. And I always got your back, buddy.”

“Thanks, dude,” he replied. “Anyway, I’m gonna go wallow in my problems until Thor gets here. See ya, Buck.”

“He’s picking you up?” Bucky said excitedly. “Are you sure this isn’t a date?”

“Shut up.” He heard Bucky laughing on the other end of the line as he hung up. Well that conversation didn’t really help much, he thought. He sighed again, thinking of how Thor would be here in a few hours. 

_Thor’s going to be here in a few hours,_ he thought in a panic.  


* * *

Steve heard the buzzer ring around 1:00. Just in time for his mother to answer and invite him on up. He was in his room getting ready. He was dressed in the Mets jersey he wore every time a game was on with his Mets baseball cap and a pair of khaki shorts. Nothing fancy, but this was his first game for his team and he was going to with pride no matter what. 

Soon there was a knock on the door and before Steve could react, his mother was there, opening the door and staring up at the bulky man practically looming in the doorway. 

“Hello,” he said, smiling. “My name is Thor. You must be Mrs. Rogers.”

His mom pulled him down into a hug. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Thor” she said. “And please, call me Sarah.”

“I am glad to meet you as well… Sarah,” he replied. 

It was really weird seeing Thor hug his mom. He briefly wondered if that was how it looked when he hugged Thor. Thor was huge. Easily over 6 feet tall with a broad, bulky frame. His mom on the other hand was nearly a foot shorter than him, slim, and petite. She looked tiny, like she had just disappeared completely as soon as Thor’s arms wrapped around her. Steve himself was 5’7, only a few inches taller than her. It was… interesting to see it from the outside.

“Come in, come in,” she said. “Steve’s just getting ready.”

“Actually I think he's ready,” Thor said gesturing to where he standing in the kitchen. He walked over and hugged him as fiercely as ever. Steve laughed as Thor embraced him and took the opportunity to breathe in the bigger man's scent. He did indeed smell like smoke. And pine. It was a comforting smell. He smiled before he let go.

“Are you ready?” Thor asked.

“Ready as ever!” Steve said.

“Let's go, then,” he replied. 

“Bye mom,” Steve said, heading towards the door. “I'll call you when we're done.”

They got to the car, where a familiar face was welcoming him. Mr. Baker, Thor’s butler. It was still weird to think that Thor had a butler. Or that he was taking them to a baseball game. Steve pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. 

“You remember Mr. Baker, right Steve?” Thor asked, thumping his butler on the shoulder. 

“Of course,” he replied. “Good to meet you again, sir.”

“Likewise, Mr. Rogers,” he replied. He had a faint British accent and Steve realized that he hadn’t heard him speak before. “If you would get in the car, we’ve got a game to catch. Master Odinson, please.” He held open the door for them. 

“Master Odinson?” Steve asked when they were inside. Thor winked at him. Steve’s heart skipped a beat and he felt a blush blooming on his cheeks. 

“I take it you’re a fan of the Mets?” Thor asked, apparently oblivious to his blushing or willfully letting Steve retain some level of dignity. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah right, I am,” Steve stammered. “Mom and I have watched every game we could since I was a kid. Bucky’s a fan, too. He’s pissed that I get to go without him.”

Thor chuckled at that. As if it weren’t bad enough that he had sent his pulse racing, he had to use that deep, rumbling chuckle. It really didn’t help his efforts to see Thor as strictly platonic. He made himself calm down, or tried to, and focus on the upcoming game. 

Steve rambled on about the season the Mets had had this year. They weren’t having the best season this year, but they weren’t doing horribly either. They were doing pretty well, really, but some dumb mistakes on their part and some bad breaks earlier in the season had cost them games that they would have won otherwise. He discovered that even though it wasn’t his favorite sport, Thor still liked baseball. His team, for better or worse, was the Red Sox from the American League. Though Steve had to explain that the American League and the National League were two separate parts of Major League Baseball.

“So wait, the American League is made up of the National League and the Major League?” he asked. 

“No, the Major League is made up of the American League and the National League,” Steve explained. “And there are three lower level leagues beneath them.”

Thor looked completely baffled. Steve suspected that all of that went over his head. He was confused the first time someone explained it to him as well. Of course, he’d never had to explain it to someone who wasn’t an American before.

“Why do you Americans have to make everything so complicated?” Thor asked. “Why can’t you have just one national league like all the other sports?”

“I don’t know, but baseball is the best,” Steve said, grinning. “That’s probably why.”

“The best?” Thor said, affronted. “The best? I need to take you to a rugby game at some point. Then you can see what sport is really ‘the best!’”

Steve laughed at that. “I know nothing about rugby, so you’ll have to teach me the rules first before you take me to a game and expect me to know what’s going on.”

“Steve, you wound me,” he said, placing a hand over his heart in mock pain. “Of course I would educate you first. I’ll have to record a game or something some time. That’s really the only way to teach someone a game. Make them watch it.”

“Bring it on, then!” he said, smacking Thor’s arm. 

“Oh so that’s how it’s going to be, huh?” he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Suddenly Steve was caught in a headlock and couldn’t get free. He couldn’t even get Thor to move his arm. He was too strong. 

“Let me go!” he demanded. 

Thor hummed thoughtfully. “Mr. Baker?”

“Yes, Master Odinson?”

“What is it Americans say in situations like this?” he asked.

“‘Say uncle,’ sir.”

“Right. Say uncle, Steve,” he said with a chuckle, adjusting his grip to accommodate Steve’s squirming. 

“You wish!” Steve countered. He tried hitting him, shoving him, anything. Nothing worked. Thor was too big and Steve was too small. “Okay fine.”

“I’m sorry?” Thor asked. “I didn’t quite catch that, Steve.”

“You won,” he muttered. 

Thor hummed again. “Mr. Baker?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Did Steve say uncle?” he asked. “I couldn’t hear him properly.”

“He did not, sir.”

“Nice try, Steve,” Thor said smugly. 

“Damn it,” he muttered. “Fine. Uncle.”

Thor released him and he straightened. “There,” Thor said with that insufferable grin on his face. “Was that so hard?”

Steve muttered bitterly and looked out the window. They were almost there by his reckoning. His heart rate was up. He was surprised to find out that it was excitement, not anxiety, that was causing it. He grinned. _Maybe this won’t be so bad,_ he thought.  


* * *

It took nearly forever for the three of them to get through security so they could find their seats. Steve was nearly blown away by the size of it.

“It’s so big…” he said, gawking at the stadium as they entered. Thor snickered at that. “Shut up, you know what I mean.”

“No I don’t think I do, Steve,” he said with that big, goofy, charming grin on his face. “What’s so big, exactly?”

“God help me,” Steve muttered, trying to hide his blushing face under his baseball cap. Thor just laughed and threw his arm around his shoulders and led them to their seats. The weight of Thor’s arm on his shoulders was oddly comforting. It wasn’t forceful or coercive. It was strong, yet gentle in a way. 

Their seats were some ways away from where they came in, but neither Thor nor Mr. Baker seemed to pay it any mind. They walked along the concrete pathway along the first base line. When they got to their section they walked down towards their seats. And kept walking until they were at the front row. 

“You got front row seats?” Steve asked with disbelief. “Your dad managed to get front row seats?”

“What? You thought my father would get us cheap seats?” Thor asked, chuckling. 

“Master Odin puts great store in quality,” Mr. Baker explained. “He would have gotten any tickets he could, but he is skilled in the art of persuasion and compromise. It was a simple thing to get good tickets to the game.”

“Remind me to thank him when I meet him,” Steve said over the din of the crowd.

The game started soon after, the stadium filled quickly with fans. Some were already getting rowdy, but Steve tried to focus on looking forward to the game and on his friend. Many were far enough away for him to ignore. For the ones who weren't, he practiced some of the deep breathing exercises Dr. Erskine taught him. The sessions were paying off. The method succeeded in helping him calm down. This was the culmination of one of his oldest childhood dreams. The last thing he needed was to have a panic attack. He continued the exercises until the announcer introduced the person standing on the field who was going to sing the national anthem. By then, he was feeling moderately better.

Steve stood proudly for the song and was surprised when Thor stood respectfully as well. _He’s a diplomat’s son, he reminded himself. He’s probably been trained to always be respectful, no matter what. Standing for another country’s anthem is probably proper courtesy._

The game got off to a rough start for the Mets. The away team, the Atlanta Braves, managed to get two men on base in the first inning. The next hitter stepped up to bat. He missed the first swing. Steve held his breath. The second he didn’t swing. It was a ball. Steve didn’t dare breathe. Two outs and two men on base. If the Braves got a good hit and managed to score, the Mets would have to play catch up in order to come out ahead. Better to start ahead. The pitcher threw his third ball. It flew down the pitch and was met with the crack of bat as it made contact. The ball flew into left field where it was caught. But not before one of the Braves players managed to score. Steve groaned with equal parts relief and frustration. 

“You are really into this,” Thor commented. “It’s only the first inning.”

“We’ll come back,” Steve declared. “They’ve only scored once.”

Thor chuckled with amusement and for once Steve didn’t blush at the sound. Instead he smiled as he watched on.  


* * *

Thor was surprised by how caught up Steve became in the game. He readily admitted that the Mets were a good team, but he rarely watched baseball games, even though the one of the sports known as, “America’s pastime.” He liked it. But he loved rugby. If rugby was not on, football (real football, not American football) usually was.

Steve jumped to his feet when a Mets batter hit the ball, cheering and yelling for the man to run faster, before he slid onto second base. The crowd roared. He wondered if this was what he and his father were like when they were watching rugby. The energy here was similar to the kind that permeated the air at rugby matches back home. Fans on both sides cheering, praying, chanting, dancing, shouting, willing their team to win. It was glorious. 

It didn’t take him long before Thor jumped to his feet as well, cheering as a Mets player hit the ball and it went soaring overhead towards the home run wall. Everyone, even Mr. Baker, were cheering and screaming as the players ran to home base. 

“I told you it wouldn’t be long,” Steve shouted over the cacophony. 

“And I shall never doubt your judgment again,” Thor replied. 

“You better not,” Steve replied. Thor guffawed at this sudden, confident side of Steve and bumped him with his elbow playfully. 

Steve tried to scowl at him, but the persistent grin made it impossible. Instead, he looked as close to carefree as Thor could imagine. His blue eyes were alight with joy and his smile was so broad he couldn't help but notice his dimples. He was so beautiful… Thor had to stop himself from leaning down and kissing him. He decided that sitting down was probably the safer option than standing up. Mr. Baker regarded him in silence.

“What?” Thor demanded.

“You are smitten, Master Odinson,” he replied. His face was straight but there was a knowing, devilish light dancing in his eye.

“You know what?” Thor scoffed. “I’m hungry. Go get some food.”

“Mr. Rogers,” he said, leaning across him. “Hot dogs or hamburgers?”

“Are you kidding?” Steve shouted. “We’re at a baseball game! Hot dogs!”

“Certainly, sir,” he replied as he got up. “Try to behave yourself while I’m gone, Master Odinson.”

Thor glared at him as he walked away. He focused instead on the game. The Braves had so far failed to get anyone on the Mets side out. The Mets had a great chance to cement their lead if they could manage to score more runs. The air thrummed with excitement.

Sure enough, the batter managed to hit the ball on the third try and the ball bounced across the ground when the second baseman fumbled with the ball long enough for the batter to slide into first base. Safe. 

Steve visibly relaxed. Then he turned to him.

“Thanks, Thor,” he said. 

“It was nothing,” he replied. 

“It's not nothing,” Steve insisted, touching his arm. “This right here… I've dreamed of coming to one of these games my entire life. I didn't think it would happen this soon. So… thanks.”

Thor looked down at Steve’s hand on his arm. He wanted to take it, lace their fingers together, and bring it up to his mouth to kiss. But as soon as it touched him, Steve removed it, blushing and smiling with embarrassment. _Damn,_ he thought.

“Trust me, Steve,” he said, looking into his eyes. “It was my genuine pleasure.”

Steve's smile grew and he ducked his head the way he did when he was feeling bashful. He shifted his attention back to the game and shouted as the Braves finally managed to get one of the Mets out. Thor didn't make any kind of move. Despite what his mother said, he was still unsure about how Steve felt about him. 

_I'll take what I can get,_ he thought. 

The game went on. Steve cheered at every hit the Mets made, every time one of the Braves was tagged out. Just as he predicted, the Mets didn't take long to take and stay in the lead. Thor enjoyed seeing Steve so passionate and uninhibited. It was intoxicating. 

Then in the 8th inning, probably the last seeing as the score was 7-4 for the Mets, a batter got up to bat. He was a Mets player. Thor didn't pay attention to the names but this one was had a nice butt, so he was noteworthy. The man missed his first ball. On the second he hit, but it was a glancing hit. It flew overhead in their direction. 

“Oh please let my Irish luck kick in,” Steve whispered, standing with his gloved hand ready. Thor held his breath. It began to descend right over their heads. For the first time, he understood why people brought their ball gloves to the stadium. 

The crowd roared as Steve caught the fly ball. Steve jumped for joy, holding his trophy in the air. Thor jumped to his feet and caught Steve in his arms and spun him around laughing. Steve was laughing in his ear, too. Thor set him down. 

“I caught it!” he crowed. “I actually caught a foul ball!” Then, to his great surprise, Steve hugged him again. Thor returned the embrace, holding the smaller man against him. And for a moment, even though he wished for more, he was happy.


	9. Weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, before we do anything else, trigger warning. This chapter contains a portrayal of a panic attack. If this is distressing or triggering for you, please don't feel like you have to read this.
> 
> Also special thanks to the professors in my counseling program who helped me out by pointing me in the right direction for my research. I don't know that any of them will ever read this, but hey, stranger things have happened.

It was late by the time they got going. The crowds made it difficult for them to get out of the parking garage near Citi Stadium. Steve clutched the ball he caught to his chest, unwilling to let it go and lose the memento. He tried to figure out what to do with it. His mom would probably want it in the living room, somewhere in the middle of the room where it could be readily seen. He wondered if she had seen him catch the ball on tv. _I'll find out soon enough,_ he thought.

By the time they were out of the parking garage it was nearly midnight. But seeing as how they were in the city that never sleeps, that didn't mean much. Thor was recounting the story of how Steve caught the foul ball in the Mets’ final inning.

“Thor, you don't have to tell me,” Steve said. “I was there.”

“Ah, but Steve,” he said grinning as he slung an arm around Steve's shoulders. “I am practicing for when my mother and father asked how it happened. Dramatic stories are always best, right Mr. Baker?”

“Indeed, sir,” the butler replied.

“Speaking of which,” Thor continued. “It's getting late. Do you want to come over to my place and spend the night there?”

“Umm, aren't you forgetting we have school tomorrow?” Steve asked. “Not exactly a good night for sleeping over.”

“Aren't you forgetting that tomorrow is Labor Day?” Thor replied. “We can stay up all night if we want to, celebrating our victory and showing off your prize!”

“What are we, Vikings?”

“No, just Swedish,” Thor replied, laughing. “Well I am, anyway and that's enough for the both of us. So what do you say?”

Steve thought for a moment. He really shouldn't. His meds were at home and while he was getting better at handling his anxiety, Dr. Erskine still thought that he benefited from them enough that he still took them. When he left for the game he took exactly one dosage with him for his evening round. If something happened…

“All right,” he agreed. I really hope I don’t regret this, he thought. 

“Excellent!” Thor shouted. “Roll down the sunroof, Mr. Baker! We’re celebrating tonight!”

“Yes, sir.” 

Thor got up and stood up through the roof and cheered. Steve laughed at his antics. That is, until he got down and looked at him through his mane of wind-tossed hair. He looked wild.

“Your turn,” he urged. 

“Huh? What?!”

“Come on!” Thor shouted, unbuckling his seatbelt. “We are celebrating! Live a little.”

Steve got up on somewhat shaky legs and poked his head out of the sunroof. Then he stood all the way and and felt the wind going through his hair, the sounds of the city celebrating as they always did when one of their teams won. He heard the cars honking and people cheering and music blaring and he stretched out his arms and took it all in. He whooped with joy as they drove down the streets of New York City.

Then he felt someone pulling him back down into the car. It was Thor and suddenly he was sitting in Thor’s lap, their faces close, much closer than they had ever been. There was something in his shining, blue eyes Steve couldn’t describe. It was… warm. Tender, maybe. Whatever it was, it was mesmerizing. Steve thought maybe he could drown in the warm pools of Thor’s eyes. The car slowed down. Steve felt Thor’s hold on him tighten so he wouldn’t fall and his breath caught in his throat. Or maybe that was his heart. His pulse was racing and his face was flushed and for once it wasn’t because he was afraid. He could get used to this. 

Steve cleared his throat when he realized that he was still sitting in Thor’s lap. 

“Um… could you…?” he trailed off. Thor smiled and set him down next to him silently.

“There’s nothing quite like it, is there?” he asked.

“What? Oh, yeah. It’s really something,” Steve stammered. He was thinking about something different entirely. 

“You should try it in Sweden,” Thor said. “There are so many forests in Sweden. The smell of the evergreens fill the air. The lakes are the purest in the world and watching the light dance on the water is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.”

“It sounds wonderful,” Steve said. “You must miss it.”

Thor looked at him again. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “But there are wonderful things here, as well.”

“Tell me about it,” Steve whispered. “About Sweden.”

Thor told him about Sweden. About what it was like to fly down the mountain on a snowboard or a pair of skis, how still and beautiful the world was when the forest was covered in snow, how all the most wonderful wildlife came out during the winter like reindeer and moose and brown bears and lynxes. It lasted until they arrived at his house and Steve found himself disappointed that they had to pause long enough to go inside.

“I’d love to see it someday,” he said as they got out of the car. 

“I would love to take you there someday,” Thor replied, smiling. “Words and pictures can never do it justice.”

Steve smiled up at him as they climbed up the steps to the front door. Then he looked down and saw another car in the driveway that he didn’t recognize. 

“Are your parents home?” he asked. 

“Hm?” Thor replied. He looked over to where Steve indicated. “Yeah, I guess they are. They must have finished with whatever that charity event was.”

“Are they gone often?”

“The downside of being a diplomatic family,” Thor said. “It’s fine, though. They are home often enough, though some times are busier than others. Like winter. There’s always something going on between nations in the winter.”

Mr. Baker unlocked the door and let them in. Steve went through first and took his shoes off as he did before. Loki was there in the kitchen waiting for them.

“You’re back,” he said with that devilish smile. “I trust you enjoyed yourselves.”

“We did!” Thor declared. He began to recount the story of how Steve had caught the ball in midair. Somewhere in the middle of the story Frigga entered the room. 

“Steve!” she greeted him warmly, wrapping her arms around him gently. “So good to see you! What a pleasant surprise.”

“Hello, Frigga,” he said. Once again, he wondered if Thor’s family came from a family of giants. Frigga might be the shortest of them but she was still easily a few inches taller than him. “How was your charity event?”

“It was fine, dear,” she said, squeezing him tightly before she let him go. “Most of these events are more or less the same after a while.”

“Being truthful with our guest, mother?” Loki asked. “He must be special to warrant your honesty.”

“Now now, Loki,” she chided. “You know that I am always honest.”

“Of course, mother,” he replied. “But you usually make it sound so much more glamorous.”

“It is glamorous,” she sniffed. “And the company is charming. But variety is the spice of life. Oh! Where are my manners?”

She ushered Steve into the living room. There was a man who looked to be much older than Thor, but Steve could already see the resemblances. They both had a broad frame and a strong, square jawline. Loki seemed to take after their mother more. More of a slender build and an easy grace as they moved about, assessing the room and the people therein. But whereas Loki seemed to have a mischievous streak, Frigga was a natural hostess.

“My love, we have a guest,” she said. She stepped aside. Steve’s breath caught. The man, whoever he was, put down a large mug with an amber colored drink. 

Steve’s blood froze. His heart started racing. Some part of his mind remained aware of what was happening, but it barely registered. He could feel it, the fear quickly taking over his mind. _No,_ he thought. _No, no, no, no, no._

The man in front of him shouted his name. Steve jumped. 

“So good to meet you!” he declared. “My wife speaks highly of you, my boy!”

“Get back!” Steve said, backing up. He began shaking. He tried to breathe, tried to do his calming exercises. He couldn’t. The air wouldn’t come. He couldn’t breathe enough. He backed against the wall. Before him this man, whoever he was, looked down at him, angry. Like a vengeful god. 

It didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel right. It was like he was trapped in this horrible nightmare, like any moment now he was going to die. This man was going to kill him. He couldn’t stop shaking, his heart felt like it was going to burst through his chest. 

“Steve,” someone said. He looked around. Frigga was there, bent over looking him in the eyes. “Steve, breathe.” She breathed slowly, in and out. She guided him to sit on the couch. “Breathe with me, Steve.”

He did. He breathed. He held it as long as he could. Not long. But he kept breathing. 

“Good, that’s good,” she said. “You’re all right. You’re safe. Keep breathing. I’ve got you.”

He breathed again. He focused on her. On breathing. Thor was there. He didn’t catch what she said to him, but he looked at him with worry before he hurried out the way he came. He was back soon. 

“Stay with him,” she instructed. “Talk to him. Keep him breathing. Have him hold it for a few seconds.”

“I’ve got you,” he said. “Breathe.”

He started talking. Steve didn’t know what it was about, he couldn’t follow him. But he breathed in tandem with Thor’s breathing. 

It didn’t help.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time later he came to. He looked around, dazed and confused and exhausted. He sighed as he leaned back against the couch, too tired to keep his body upright. His chest was heaving as he took deep breaths. His lungs felt like they were on fire. He closed his eyes and fought the tears that came unbidden to his eyes. Someone was there, dabbing his skin with a cool rag. He looked up. It was Frigga. 

“It’s over,” she said softly. “How do you feel?”

_Terrible._ “I’m fine,” he said. The first thing he realized was that he was at Thor’s house. That was the only place he could be. 

Frigga was quiet. She didn’t challenge him. “You don’t have to stay here, Steve.”

“Where’s Thor?” he asked.

“I sent him away,” she said. 

“Good. Thank you.” 

Frigga reached out to touch his hands. He flinched at her touch. She withdrew her hand without comment and held it in her lap. She did, however, offer him the rag, which he accepted. He wiped his forehead down. He was covered in sweat. 

“Whatever you need, Steve, we’ll help you,” she said.

“What happened, exactly?”

She paused for a moment. “I went to introduce you to my husband and… well, you looked like you shut down,” she said. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“It’s not your fault, Steve,” she said, softly. 

“I know that,” he snapped. Then he groaned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s all right.” 

The tears began to well in his eyes. He held them back, just barely. He felt so raw, so vulnerable and it was a terrible, terrible feeling. He hated it when people saw him having a panic attack. He hated explaining to teachers why he had no idea what they said during the lecture. He hated people staring at him with concern, or worse. Pity. He hated not being in control and being afraid of when it would happen next or where he would be. He hated being anxious but fine one moment and being filled with overwhelming terror and preparing to die the next.

“I’d like to go home, please,” he whispered. 

“Of course,” she said softly. “I’ll take you myself. Take your time, we can leave whenever you’re ready.”

Steve murmured his thanks. She left him to get her things. As soon as he was alone, he let the tears flow down his cheeks as he sobbed. 

He hated it. But most of all, he hated feeling weak.


	10. The Perks of a Butler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: violence.

Steve spent all Monday in bed. He came out long enough to take his anxiety medication. Thor texted him a few times to see if he was okay. He didn’t text back. Bucky called. He talked for a bit. He wasn’t in the mood for social interaction, but Bucky was always the exception whenever he felt this way. They talked about the game. The Mets won. Bucky had managed to find a site to stream the game from. He said he was on tv when he caught the ball. Steve smiled a bit at that. 

It was infuriating. He wanted to think about yesterday, wanted to remember the fun he’d had with Thor and seeing the game, but all he could focus on was the panic attack that came as soon as he saw Thor’s father drinking. He didn’t even remember his name. Just that after he met he started having a panic attack. Nothing much was important after that. Sometime in the afternoon his mother came to check on him.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Meh,” he replied. 

“I checked with Dr. Erskine,” she said. “He said he can see you on Wednesday this week if you want.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’d like that.”

“Do you need anything?”

“I want to stay home from school tomorrow,” he said.

“No.”

“Why not?” he demanded.

“Because you can’t skip school just because you’re afraid of having a panic attack,” she said. “I can’t afford to take you to another school or get you a home tutor. So until I either win the lottery or marry some filthy rich man, you have to go to school.”

“I can’t have one day just for myself?” he asked testily. 

“Sure,” she said. “If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you’re not avoiding going to school because you’re afraid of having a panic attack.”

He looked her in the eye… but he couldn’t say it. Even if he did, she probably wouldn’t believe him. It’s been quite a while since he’s been able to fool her. She knows what makes him tick. Worse, he knew she was right, as much as he hated to admit it. It didn’t make the urge to avoid going out any weaker. Instead he collapsed on the bed again and rolled over so that he wouldn’t face her. 

“It’s all right, sweetie,” she whispered. 

As soon as she was gone he began to cry again. It wasn’t all right. Tears began to well up in his eyes. A normal, perfect day ruined because of his stupid disorder. And now he would have to face him again and see the revulsion in his eyes. 

_Thor must think I’m a freak now, seeing me like that,_ he thought bitterly. He wondered if he’d ever have a normal life.  


* * *

Steve awoke before his alarm went off the next morning feeling lethargic and dreading having to go to school. He groaned. It was 5:30. Way too early. But he didn’t sleep nearly at all the night before. He lay in bed until the alarm actually went off and he got off to go through the motions of getting ready. He showered. He got dressed. One leg then the other. His mom got him to eat some eggs and toast. It tasted like ash, but he ate it. 

His mother managed to coax him into the car so they could get him to school on time. Steve didn’t say anything the whole way there. His mom didn’t try to get him to open up. It was something. He did some mindfulness exercises on the drive over to counter the anxiety he felt building in him. The medication helped as well. He looked up at the sky. Storm clouds were rolling in. It perfectly matched his mood for the day. A thunderstorm would not be unwelcome. 

As soon as he got out of the car he heard the rumble of thunder overhead. Big, fat raindrops began to rain and he hurried inside before the deluge started. He wasn’t fast enough to escape completely, though. He just hoped that his sketchbook didn’t get wet at all. He started walking towards his art classroom. With luck, he’d avoid both the bullies and Thor today. 

As luck would have it, he didn’t run into Gilmore Hodge or his goons on his way to class. He thanked whatever God or gods were responsible for that small favor. It didn’t last, though. As soon as he turned onto the English hall to get to the art hall, he ran into Thor. Literally. 

“Steve!” he cried. “Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

_Fuck me six ways til Sunday,_ he thought. “Hey, Thor,” he murmured. 

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you,” Thor said under his breath. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Steve said automatically. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Bullshit,” Thor said. “You would have me believe that you’re fine after what happened the other night?”

_Here it comes,_ he thought. 

Thor sighed. “I was worried about you, you know,” he said. And the way he said it sounded like he was… scared. “I thought something terrible happened and all mother would tell me was that she took you home. Please, tell me what’s going on, Steve.”

“Wait… what?” he asked, stunned. 

“Huh?”

“You… you don’t think…” Steve stammered. He gulped and gathered his strength. “That I’m a freak?”

“Why would I think that?” he asked. He seemed genuinely confused. Hell, Steve was confused.

“That’s not how this works!” he protested. “People see me having a panic attack and they… they…”

Thor put his hands on his shoulders and drew him in. Steve didn’t fight it. He was too confused, too tired to fight. This hug wasn’t like their usual hugs, strong and fierce and friendly. This was gentle. Tender. Comforting. Thor wrapped his arms around him and held him to his chest. Steve wrapped his arms around Thor’s abdomen, fisting his hands in the soft fabric of his shirt. For once, he didn’t care who saw him being vulnerable. Broken.

“I don’t know what demons you’re fighting, Steve,” he whispered into his ear. “But I could never judge you for fighting them. You’re not weak. You’re stronger than most here. I admire that.”

_Dammit,_ Steve thought. He felt the tears coming, he couldn’t stop them. He sobbed quietly into Thor’s shoulder. Thor didn’t say anything, didn’t complain as he ruined his shirt. His hold on him tightened as Steve practically clung to him like he was his anchor in a raging sea. 

“Hey faggot!” someone shouted. Thor’s hold on him tightened even more. Steve avoided turning around, but he recognized the sound of his favorite bully, Gilmore Hodge. “Hey, what’re ya cryin’? Fuckin’ pussy.”

“Leave him be,” he heard Thor say. Steve shivered as he felt the deep rumbling of his voice against him. 

“Why? He your boyfriend? Always knew you were a fag, Odinson,” he said. 

“Come now,” said the smooth, charming voice Steve recognized as Loki. “Surely you have better places to be than bothering these two. You know my brother is more than a match for you. Or do you enjoy having broken noses?”

Steve actually did turn to look now. Loki was standing between them. His hands were out in a non-threatening, non-aggressive posture, but his feet were planted wide in a sturdy stance. As usual, he embodied a cold grace, like a cat. He seemed protective, something Steve would never have actually attributed to Loki. 

“Yeah,” Hodge said, stepping up to Loki to look him in the eye. “But you’re not Thor.”

Loki laughed. “Oh no, I am not my brother,” he said. Steve could practically hear the cheshire smile in his voice. “But you should really back down before you do something you’ll regret.”

Hodge and his buddies laughed to each other. Thor, meanwhile drew them a fair distance away from them. 

“Aren’t you gonna help him?” Steve demanded. “Your brother’s about to get pulverized.”

“Nah, he’ll be fine,” Thor replied. 

“Um, have you been paying attention?” Steve asked. “Loki is fighting Hodge and his buddies. They’re not exactly small.”

“Listen Steve,” he said as Loki and his foes started sizing each other up. “You haven’t known us for long, but of the two of us, you’d really rather fight me, not my brother.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Just watch,” Thor replied, nodding towards his brother. 

Hodge threw a punch. Loki dodged it smoothly. Then he kicked his leg out from under him so that Hodge fell on his back facing the ceiling. One of his goons tried to attack him from behind, but Loki dodged that easily and punched him in the throat, then while he was gasping for breath, he kicked the man in the groin. Steve winced as the guy went down with a breathless groan. The last one grabbed him from behind. Loki bashed the back of his head against his nose and the guy shouted as he released him. Loki grabbed him by the neck and drove his knee into the man’s stomach, then grabbed his arm, twisted it as he knelt, and brought it down over his shoulder. 

Steve looked away as the boy screamed when his arm broke at the elbow. The attending students let out a collective “oooooh” as the guy writhed on the floor, clutching his arm. Nearby, Hodge was getting up slowly. Loki stalked over to him.

“No! Don’t, please!” he begged. Loki ignored him and kicked at his knee and it broke with a sickening crunch. Hodge went down screaming. Loki knelt next to him and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. 

“Don’t. Ever. Bother. My. Brother. Or. His. Friend. Again,” he hissed. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, yes!” he shouted. “Just stop it please!”

Loki shoved him to the ground and walked towards them. 

“Well,” he sighed amidst the chaos in his wake. “That was fun.”

Steve regarded him with equal parts awe and fear. “Remind me never to get on your bad side,” he said. 

Loki’s mouth stretched into a self-satisfied smirk and he turned around to bow at the spectators. Someone began to clap. It was that loud-mouthed troublemaker that Steve only ever saw in detention, or pulling some stunt out in the hallways. 

“About time they got what’s coming to them,” he said, stepping over Loki’s victims as he walked towards them. “Have to say, I enjoyed the show.”

Loki smiled his most mischievous smile. “I aim to please, Mr…?”

“Stark,” he said. “Tony Stark. We should spend some time together, I’d love to see what other moves you got.”

“Loki Odinson. Charmed,” Loki said taking one of Tony’s hands in both of his and looking him up and down. “I’d be delighted to show you sometime.”

“Great,” Tony said through hooded eyes. “I’ll see you in detention, then. I look forward to… getting to know you better.”

“And I look forward to seeing more of you, Tony,” he replied. Tony walked away and Loki stared hungrily after him. 

“What just happened?” he whispered to Thor. 

“You do not want to know, Steve,” Thor replied. “Trust me.”

It wasn’t long before Loki was carted off to the principal's office and the nurse arrived to tend to the two boys with broken limbs until the ambulance arrived. Thor let Steve go and led him away. 

“So,” Thor said. “As I was going to say before we were rudely interrupted, I do not know what it is you’re fighting, but I am willing to listen if you ever want to tell me.”

“Thanks Thor,” Steve said. “That means a lot.”

Just then the bell rang signalling that the students had five minutes to get to class. Steve groaned. “I don’t want to go to class.”

Thor chuckled. “You want to ditch school and do something fun?”

“I wish,” Steve said. Thor took his phone out. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Why not?” he asked.

“I mean…” Steve said, trailing off. “Don’t you have football practice?”

“Nope,” Thor said, shaking his head. “This storm is supposed to last all day and the coaches cancelled.”

Steve thought for a moment. He’d skipped school before, saying that he needed a day off. But he’d never actually left school after he got there. It was hard when neither he nor Bucky had cars or licences. And it wasn’t like he had wanted to stay home to avoid going to school like he had in the past. He’d wanted to stay home to avoid Thor, which was no longer a problem, apparently. And now he had the chance to spend another whole day with him. 

“Yeah, let’s do it,” he said. Thor beamed down at him and wrapped his arm around Steve as they made their way to one of the side entrances to wait for their ride.  


* * *

About half an hour or so after Thor had called home, Mr. Baker showed up outside the entrance they camped out at. They raced out through the rain and jumped into the back of the car. Mr. Baker didn’t chastise Thor in the slightest for asking him to help bail them out of school. 

“Thanks, Mr. Baker. You’re the best!” he said.

“Of course, sir,” he said. He held up two plain, black t-shirts. “Fresh shirts for you both?”

“Thanks,” he said, stripping out of his wet shirt. Steve tried, in vain, to not stare at Thor’s naked, toned frame. He’d felt his muscles before, through hugs, but seeing them… that was another story. 

_I’m so fucked,_ he thought, tearing his eyes away from him. It was then that he realized that Mr. Baker was holding another, smaller shirt. He took it and sure enough, it was in his size.

“How did you know my size?” Steve asked, blushing as he took off his shirt, revealing his much scrawnier body. He fumbled with the plain, black shirt before unfolding it. “And how exactly did you happen to find a shirt my size. Your entire family is enormous!”

“Loki was a late bloomer,” Mr. Baker replied simply. 

“Thanks a ton,” Steve said as slid the shirt over his body. It was a little long, but other than that it fit well. 

“You’re welcome, sir,” he said, pulling out of the school parking lot. 

“So,” he said, turning to Thor. “Where to?”

Thor smiled. “Where else do teenagers go to hang out?”

45 minutes later they were pulling into the parking garage near one of the arcades in Brooklyn just as the doors were about to open. Steve blushed again as Thor slung his arm over Steve's shoulders again. Thor, of course, went straight to the bumper cars. The crowd trickled in until they had a sizable bunch of people. Thor laughed triumphantly every time he ran into someone. Until, that is, Steve ran into him. Thor glared at him and spent the rest of the round chasing him around the rink. Steve managed to lose him and ran into him a couple more times before the round concluded. 

“I demand a rematch,” Thor declared when they got out. 

“Sure thing,” Steve replied. “Pick your poison.”

Thor picked air hockey and they walked over to the area. Thor grinned, anticipating a victory. Mr. Baker deposited the quarters in the machine and whirred to life. Thor got the puck and set it on the table. Steve smiled as he prepared himself. It reminded him of when he and Bucky would go to Coney Island and do stuff like this. The game began. Thor hit the puck and it bounced off the side of the table and Steve hit it back. It clanged into Thor’s goal.

“That was a lucky shot,” Thor said, grimacing.

“Oh really?” Steve said. “Well, I _am_ Irish. Let’s see if it holds up.”

Thor set the puck back on the table and hit it again, from a different angle. Steve hit it back and it passed between them for a while before Steve managed to score again. He whooped as Thor grumbled something derogatory about the Irish. Again he put the puck on the table. Again they exchanged shots. Again Steve scored. 

“All right, now I am getting serious,” Thor growled. 

“I can do this all day,” Steve replied, grinning.

Thor managed to score a couple times, but the satisfaction was short lived. Steve was absolutely better than him at this game and soon the game was over with the final score as 7-3. Thor grumbled. 

“It seems I underestimated you, my friend,” Thor said. “Now, it’s your turn to decide.”

Steve thought for a moment before he heard the crash of bowling pins. He laughed and pulled Thor towards the bowling alley. This time, Mr. Baker decided to join them, which was apparently shocking to Thor.

“He never joins in on anything Loki and I are doing when we’re out,” he said.

“Well even butlers need to have fun once in a while,” Steve said. As he entered their names into the system. Thor was dubbed Captain Hammer, Steve was Dr. Horrible. Mr. Baker requested to be known as Albert if “Mr. Baker” was unsuitable. “Maybe we’ve accidentally discovered his hobby.”

It turned out that that was an understatement. Mr. Baker, while grumbling about the inferior quality of “house balls” managed to wipe the floor with them. Thor was good, his final score was 143. Steve was okay at 134. But Mr. Baker got an amazing 191. Thor immediately put on another game so that they could try again. Mr. Baker struggled only slightly more, coming in at 187 while Steve barely breached 100 and Thor managed to get 150. The third game changed that, though. 

“Mr. Baker, I will never underestimate you again,” Thor said as he stared up at his final score of 223.

“Thank you, sir.”

Steve’s stomach rumbled loudly and he blushed as Thor chuckled.

“Maybe we should get lunch before someone starves to death,” he said.

“There’s a great shawarma place down the street,” Steve suggested. “Great little hole-in-the-wall place.”

“I’ve never been to a hole-in-the-wall,” Thor said. “What’s it like?”

Steve smiled. “Come on, your highness,” he said, grabbing his hand. “It’s time to see how the other side lives.”

If it hadn’t been for their umbrellas, they would have been drenched by the time they made it to the tiny Middle Eastern restaurant down the street. It was, in fact, a hole in the wall. The red brick walls framed a room smaller than Thor’s bedroom with a handful of wooden tables and benches worn smooth over the years of people sitting, eating, talking, crying, and laughing. There weren’t any waiters. A lad maybe a little older than Steve came bringing simple folded menus that were similarly worn, stained with various sauces and drinks. Steve didn’t even look at his. He ordered the beef shawarma. Thor and Mr. Baker each got the lamb. They stood out like a sore thumb in this little restaurant.

Thor, to his credit, didn’t act at all uncomfortable here. It surprised him a bit. Seeing as Thor came from a wealthy, privileged family, Steve expected him to be at least a little squeamish about sitting in the only kind of restaurant he and his mother could ever afford. He was right at home here. But instead he was charming and jovial to the people who worked here and regarded everyone in the same kind, non-judgmental way he treated most people. 

“Your brother is terrifying, by the way,” Steve said at some point while they were waiting for their food. “Seriously, what he did to those guys was incredible!”

“It was glorious!” Thor agreed laughing. “I think the football team will have to replace Hodge and his friend after that, and I cannot say I mind at all.”

“Did they give you trouble?” he asked.

Thor shrugged. “Nothing I couldn’t handle, and they never started brawls on the field or the locker room or anything like that,” he said. “It was mostly that Hodge wanted to be the quarterback and I got the position instead.”

“Hodge? Quarterback?” Steve replied. He began laughing uncontrollably, doubling over on the table. “That would be a great idea. If we wanted to lose every game this year!”

Thor chuckled as well. “I never expected him to get it, but he must have thought that he could land the position,” he replied. “I do not know how. The guy is a mediocre player at best.”

“That’s being kind,” Steve agreed. 

“You’ve seen him play?”

“Thor, Bucky is my best friend,” Steve said. “I’ve seen lots of his games. Hodge might be on the team and he might be strong, but he’s the weakest link in the offensive line.”

“Not anymore,” Thor said with a smirk. “Thank the gods. By the way, don’t tell my parents about that, Mr. Baker.”

“Of course, sir.”

Their shawarma appeared then, three plates with the shawarma wrapped in tin foil and piled high with fries. Steve watched as Thor sank his teeth into the wrap filled with wonder and deliciousness and smiled as his eyes widened and he moaned. 

“That’s amazing.” he said. Mr. Baker echoed his sentiment in his polite, British fashion, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. 

“I know, right?” Steve replied.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was nearly 4:30 by the time Steve felt his anxiety creeping up on him. He caught himself breathing shallow breaths and did a brief breathing exercise. They were eating ice cream at Thor's favorite creamery when it happened. It wasn't a panic attack, thankfully. Just plain old, regular anxiety. Regardless, Steve wished again that he had thought to bring one of his meds with him.

He checked his phone and realized that he had 4 missed calls from his mother. He excused himself from the table and called her back. She picked up on the second ring.

“STEVEN GRANT ROGERS WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!” she shouted through the phone

_Shit, I forgot to tell her I was with Thor,_ he realized. “Hey mom, I'm with Thor,” he said. “Sorry I forgot to tell you.”

“You better be sorry!" she said. “I've been trekking through the school for you, Steve. None have your teachers have seen you all day, where have you been?”

His heart sank into his stomach. She sounded so relieved, so scared. “Umm… well, Thor and I sorta… played hookie,” he admitted. 

“You did?” she said testily. “You played. Hookie? Well, you better get your ass home young man because you're in for a world of trouble!”

Steve gulped. “Yes, ma’am.”

Thor smiled as he sat down, but the expression melted away as he looked at him.

“What is wrong?” he asked.

“I need to get home,” Steve said. “I'm officially in for it. Do you mind dropping me off at my place, Mr. Baker?”

“Not at all, sir,” he replied. “We shall leave straightaway.” 

Steve practiced his breathing techniques the whole way home. He tried to avoid wondering how his mom was going to respond to him spending all day out of school.

“Are you well, Steve?” Thor asked looking concerned. 

“Huh?”

“Your breathing seemed… strange,” he clarified. 

“Oh. That. It's a breathing exercise. It helps with anxiety,” he explained. 

“Is that why you had that panic attack the other night?” he asked.

Steve gulped. It was strange to talk about this with someone who wasn't Dr. Erskine, his mom, or Bucky. What if he thought he was a freak? What if he thought he was making it up to garner sympathy?

_Stop that,_ he told himself. _Thor isn't like that._

“Yeah, sort of,” he said. “I have a type of anxiety called Panic Disorder.”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“It means I get panic attacks pretty regularly and it affects the way I live my life,” he explained. “Mine are usually caused by some sort of trigger. Sometimes they're random, though.”

“How often do you get them?”

“I used to get them several times a week. Sometimes multiple in the same day,” he said. His heart was in his throat now, racing as he struggled with this being vulnerable thing with someone new. “But I've gotten better. Now I get them, maybe once or twice a week. A good week I don't get any. A bad week I'll get a few.”

“Can I ask caused your attack the other night?”

Steve was silent for a moment. How could he tell Thor that his father had triggered him? It was awkward enough to talk about as it is. A moment stretched into a several and Steve realized that he was holding his breath. He released it and started breathing. Slowly. Deeply. Rhythmically. 

“Sorry,” he said.

“Steve,” Thor said, resting a hand on his thigh. “You do not need to apologize. It is all right.”

Steve gave him an appreciative smile before returning his attention back to his breathing. If he could just make it home before his anxiety got to be too overwhelming, he would be fine. He would take his evening dose and be able to calm down. And then his mother would probably kill him.

They pulled onto the street outside his apartment and Steve grabbed his backpack out of the back of the car. He started heading up the steps to the front door when he heard Thor call his name. He turned around.

“Whatever happens,” Thor said against the din of the rain. “I enjoyed hanging out with you today.”

Steve was immediately grateful that Mr. Baker was there with his umbrella. Otherwise he would have surely been soaked by now. 

“Thanks,” he said. “I had a great time. And… thanks for understanding.” 

Thor smiled and rolled the window up. Steve turned around and let Mr. Baker escort him up the steps until he opened the door.

“Thank you for everything, Mr. Baker,” he said as he stepped inside.

“Not at all, sir,” he replied. “I look forward to being at your service again.” 

Steve smiled and went inside. He trudged the stairs to the window and watched them drive away. He felt… happy. But also sad, somehow. Like he wanted to do something and didn't get to do it. He couldn't put his finger on it. He shrugged and continued up the stairs until he got to his door and went inside.

“There you are,” his mother said. He didn't even get the chance to respond before he was enveloped in her arms. “Don't ever do that to me again, do you hear me?”

“Yes, mom. I'm sorry mom,” he replied. 

She sighed and let him go. She fetched his medicine and a glass of water from the kitchen and Steve was grateful that she decided to let him take his medicine before she gave him a piece of her mind. 

_Bottoms up,_ he thought. About half an hour later, his heart rate began to slow, his worries began to recede, and his breathing became more even. 

“Did you have fun?” she asked.

“Um… yeah, I-I did,” he replied. He told her about what they had done that day, wondering all the while when she was going to tear him a new one.

“Why did you decide to skip school?”

“Well, um… Thor and I ran into each other before school started,” he began. She didn't say anything. “And well, he asked how I was doing, if I was okay. Then Gilmore Hodge showed up and started picking on us.”

“Why?”

“We were… hugging…” he explained. “Anyway, Thor's brother beat them up and after that I was feeling really emotional but I didn't want to go to class and Thor asked if I wanted to play hookie. So we… did?”

“Ah.”

“So… are you mad?” he asked sheepishly.

“Less mad than I was,” she replied. “I don't mind that you played hookie, but you should have told me so wouldn't have to worry about where you were.”

Steve hung his head. “I know. I'm sorry.”

“So I've decided that you're grounded,” she said. “Two weeks. If you and Thor need to work on something together for class, he has to come here.”

Steve sighed. “Fine, I guess that's fair.”

His mom sighed as well. “Right, I have to get ready for work. There's leftovers in the fridge.”

Steve nodded. If he had any homework due tomorrow, there wasn't anything to do about it. So instead he got out his sketchbook and started drawing. His phone buzzed about an hour later. It was Thor.

_Are you well?_ He smiled.

_Yeah,_ he replied. _Grounded though :/_

_I am sorry,_ came the reply. 

_She said you could come around if we need to work on something for class though,_ he said.

Thor took a minute to respond.

_I will see you around, then :)_

Steve smiled at his phone. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


	11. Trouble in Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some smut near the end, just so y'all know. ;)

The rest of the week passed by more or less normally. With Gilmore Hodge and his goons down for the count, Thor’s life became marginally easier. Hodge’s replacement on the offensive line was at least competent and more cooperative than his predecessor. His time with Steve in the mornings before class were much more relaxing now that he didn’t have to leap to his defense. And he would be lying if he said that he did not get a measure of satisfaction from watching Hodge hobble through the halls on his crutches. 

By the end of the week, Thor felt very confident about their chances in an upcoming scrimmage next week. Maybe by the time Steve was done being grounded he would be able to see if he could come out to one of his games. He grinned at the thought. He wondered if he would be okay with being kissed in front of the crowd of people.

_Probably not,_ he thought to himself. _He is not even my boyfriend yet, so there is no point in thinking about it._

He could not bring himself to stop though. The only time he could get his… friend… out of his mind was during practice. Otherwise it was as if he had permanently lodged himself in his brain. When they had skipped school earlier in the week, there were so many times when he had been tempted to kiss him, to hold his hand, to do any number of couple things with him. When he had ice cream dripping down the side of his mouth in the ice cream parlor. When he had that smug little face after Thor got beat in air hockey. 

He shook his head and tried to put it out of his mind as he headed toward the car. His mother was picking him up today. Which meant that his father would likely be home tonight. He tried to put that out of his mind too. His father had been very disappointed to hear that he had skipped school to hang out with “that uncourteous little punk.” So much so that they actually got into a shouting match about him. Thor loved his father… mostly. But the man was completely unwilling to listen to anyone once he got an idea into his head. The only one who had a chance at changing his mind was his mother. She had tried, but his father was feeling particularly stubborn lately. 

He climbed into the car. “Hello mother,” he said.

“Hello son, how was your day?” she asked. 

“It was fine. Steve is still grounded, though,” he said. 

“It will not last forever, son,” she said with a knowing smile. “Anyway, did you not say that you could go to his home?”

“Yes, but I have scrimmages this weekend,” he replied. “And I have not been invited. It would be rude.”

“Ah, yes that is a problem,” she said. They rode in the car in silence. 

“Is father still angry?” he asked. His mother did not answer, just looked at him sadly. “How long can he be angry over Steve having a panic attack?”

“He’s not,” she said. “He believes that he was slighted.”

“Why will he not listen to reason?”

His mother shrugged as she sighed. “I do not know, son. But please try not to get into a fight with him again.”

Thor groaned. “Fine. If you insist. But if he insults him I will not stand idle.”

His mother sighed and nodded. Things had been tense lately. Hopefully the storm would blow over, though.  


* * *

There was no such luck. As soon as Thor stepped into the house, he was met by his father who looked for all the world like he was about to banish someone from the house. Loki was there as well, but when he met his eyes, he shook his head slightly. A warning, then. Father must be in a good mood, he thought. 

“Thor,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Father.”

“You have disobeyed me,” he said. “I instructed you not to associate with that boy again.”

“We have classes together, Father,” Thor protested. “I cannot very well skip my classes.”

“No. That's true,” Odin said, scowling. “But you can avoid skipping school, I trust.”

Thor narrowed his eyes at his father. “Who told you?”

“The principal,” he replied. “He says you were absent all day Monday. You and this Steve Rogers.”

“Are you honestly getting Mr. Heimdall to spy on me?” Thor protested. “That's low for you, father.”

“Heimdall is an old friend,” Odin replied.

“Really? Since when does Odin affiliate with mere high school principals?”

“That doesn't concern you, son,” he growled. “I am your father. You will respect my wishes. You will not undermine me.”

“You have no right, in our country or this one, to tell me who I can and cannot count among my friends,” Thor countered. 

“People like him are unworthy of people like us,” Odin bellowed. “I will not accept one such as he in my home!”

“You have it backwards, father,” Thor said pushing past him. “People like you are unworthy of people like him.”

He stalked up the stairs towards his room.

“We're not done here!” Odin shouted after him. “Get back here!”

Thor ignored him as he slammed the door behind him and locked it. He rarely did so. But today was turning out to be pretty lousy all around.

_I need to distract myself,_ he thought. He grabbed some workout clothes from his drawers.  


* * *

Thor grunted as he pushed the weights above him. He focused on the repetitions. Lifting, feeling the strain and flexing in his arms. Letting his arms relax and the weights drop over his chest. Repeat. Sweat was forming on his brow as he concentrated on the weights above him. 

He finished his reps and the metal clanged back onto the rack above him and he sat up on the bench to catch his breath. His gray shirt was soaked with sweat. He unstrapped the fingerless gloves from his hands and threw them to the ground. Working out had done little to improve his mood. But now his arms were sore and his body was drenched in sweat and endorphins were running through his body, so physically, he felt better.

Thor grimaced and he grabbed a gym towel and wiped his face down. He glanced down at his phone and entered the information into the workout app he used. All in all, not the best session, but he'd had worse.

He over to the shower and stripped out if his sweaty clothes and turned the water on all the way up to the hottest setting and stepped in, welcoming the heat as the water crashed against his skin. He groaned and let his head fall beneath the deluge. 

His father… he did not know what to think of him when he was like this. He liked to think the best of the man, but… sometimes it seemed like the only thing he cared about was power and influence. Steve had neither of those things, so his father didn't go out of his way to accommodate him the way he did with people like the people he worked with.

He sat down on one of the ledges jutting out from the wall and let the water cascade through his hair and down his back. He uncapped the cleaning product he used and started to clean himself. As soon as he was done he stood and let the water wash away the suds and the sweat and the grime. He did not, however, wish his problems would wash away with them. Problems should not be wished away. They had to be confronted. He had to push through until he emerged the victor. Even if his father was the source of his problems now. 

He did, however, allow himself to luxuriate under the steaming water for a while longer. Somehow the heat of the water soothed him. Even if it couldn't wash away his problems, it was something of an escape. 

He'd take what he could get.

Half an hour later he was dressed in clean clothes and hiding out with his brother in the upstairs living room while they worked on their homework.

“They've been going at this all night,” Loki said. “Who would have thought that father's golden boy would be the one to get under his skin this effectively?”

“Yes, I should have pursued someone like that Tony Stark,” he replied drily. “How's that going, by the way?”

Loki smiled that Cheshire cat smile of his. _I might regret asking that question,_ he thought. That grin meant mischief. 

“It's going very well, dear brother,” he replied. “Tony's a wonderful kisser.”

“I'm sure he is,” Thor replied. He began to stare intensely at his work. Calculus might be able to counter his brother's devious, perverse mind. But then his mind began to wander. 

He imagined what Steve's would feel like against his. He thought about what it felt like to feel his body against his, what it felt like to have him sitting in his lap. He wondered what it would feel like, to angle his face up towards his, bend down, and kiss him until his lips were swollen and flushed and he gasped for breath beneath him.

Stop, he thought. _Think of innocent things. Math. Skiing. Igloos. Fondue. Ice cream._

That brought to mind the image of Steve's mouth with stray ice cream dripping down the side of this mouth. His mouth would have probably tasted like chocolate. 

“Fuck,” he muttered.

Loki laughed from across the room. “Thinking of your own beau, dear brother?”

”No?” he replied. 

“Don't lie, Thor,” he chastised with a grin. “You've never been good at it.”

“It's just… every time I think I've made some headway, something happens to get in the way.”

“Be patient brother,” Loki said. “I think he'll come around.”

"'Be patient?’” he asked. “How's that working for you?”

Loki's face lost the light-hearted mischief as he scowled at him. Thor sighed.

“That was unworthy of me, I apologize,” he said.

“Pay it no mind,” Loki said. “But for what it's worth, how similar do you honestly think Steve and Tony are?”

Thor compared what little he knew of Tony to what he knew of Steve. Which wasn't much but still. 

“I would be surprised if they shared any similarity at all,” he admitted.

“Exactly,” Loki replied. “Tony and I were on the same page as soon as we met. Steve, well, I'm not sure he knows yet that he's interested in men. Or maybe he's just starting to realize that.”

Thor returned his attention to his homework. If he couldn't push through this problem now, he could at least figure out the problems in his schoolwork. 

“You'll have to be patient if you want to be with him,” Loki said before going back to his own work.

_Right. Patience,_ Thor thought, redoubling his efforts with his schoolwork. _The one thing I have the least of. Now I am supposed to have it with Steve and father. The gods are probably laughing at me._  


* * *

Later that night, Thor lay awake. He stared up at the ceiling, listening to the fan rotate in the darkness. His mind was still racing. He was not thinking about his father, though. He gave up on that for the night. The man could be so stubborn he wondered if he was descended from a mule. No, what occupied his thoughts, what always occupied his thoughts now, was a short, slender man with the heart of a lion and whose eyes shined like stars. 

He groaned with arousal. He could feel the tent it made in his pants. He rubbed at his clothed erection and moaned softly. He rutted against his hand, feeling the pleasure course through his body. He hissed with pleasure and the image of Steve naked came unbidden to his mind.

“Oh gods, please,” he moaned. It had been too long since he was with a man. Months. At least since he and his ex had broken up over spring break. It had not been anything serious. Well, not as serious as how Thor felt about Steve. It was just serious attraction. 

He rolled over and reached under the bed to fetch his rag and bottle of lube. He took his cock out and pumped it lightly. Then he took the lube and squeezed some out onto his palm. He returned his hand to his cock and began to jerk himself, his hand pumping up and down the length of his cock, twisting slightly as it reached the head. He moaned softly as his hand stroked the sensitive skin under the head and pleasure coursed through him. It felt amazing. Not as good as the real thing, of course, but it was the release he needed.

Thor moaned. He imagined Steve lying next to him naked and hard and willing. His thin, beautiful body pressed flush against his own. He imagined what it would be like to have his mouth on him, on his cock, sucking him off. What would it look like to look down and see that beautiful, handsome man between his legs, his lips swollen and red as they wrapped around him. How his tongue would feel on his shaft. He bucked his hips up into his hand and gasped. 

He pictured Steve kneeling before him, his legs straddling his hips as he sank down onto his cock. He wondered what it would be like to run his hands over the smooth plains of his thighs, his stomach, his back as he fucked himself on Thor’s member. HIs skin flushed and hot and sweaty as they clung to each other. 

“Fuck, Steve,” he whispered reverently. He started jacking his cock faster. He’d thrust up into him as he rode him, his hands grabbing Steve’s thighs, sliding up until he reached his cock. He would wrap his hand around him and stroke his cock in tandem with Steve’s riding. His other hand reached up to fondle one of his sensitive nipples as he jerked his cock. He could practically see him naked and flushed and hot. 

His image changed. He imagined Steve under him, legs spread out and wrapped around his waist. He would moan Thor’s name as he fucked into his tight heat and Thor would capture his lips with his own, biting and licking and moaning into his lover’s mouth. 

His balls began to rise and he felt his climax building. He began to chant curses in every language he knew. In his mind, Steve was arching into him, his body pressing against him, his ass clenching around him as he came. Thor wondered what he would look like. He grunted as he came, his come spilling onto his hand. It felt amazing, better than when he usually pleasured himself. He milked his cock through his climax, grunting as his shaft pulsed in his hand.

“Steve,” he whispered into the darkness. Then he sighed and grabbed his rag and cleaned himself up. He fell asleep easily and briefly imagined that Steve was lying next to him, his face flushed, his chest heaving with exertion, that wonderful smile on his face. The thought made him smile.


	12. Closets Are For Clothes

Steve was a mess. Not because he had a panic attack, he was fine there. Steve was a mess because he couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t stop thinking about Thor. It had been a problem since the day they played hookie a couple weeks ago. Steve’s sentence of not being able to go anywhere but school was almost up. Unfortunately, Thor’s football schedule made any efforts to work together on schoolwork difficult. They hadn’t talked outside of school except through text. 

“It’s weird,” he told Dr. Erskine. “It’s like I can’t seem to go more than 5 minutes without thinking about him.”

Dr. Erskine nodded thoughtfully. “You enjoy being around him.”

“Yeah, he’s fun to be around,” Steve replied.

“Let me ask you something, Steve,” Dr. Erskine said. “Have you ever had a crush on someone?”

“A crush? Umm…” he thought for a moment. Surely he must have. Everyone did. “I mean, Bucky thinks that I have a crush on Thor but that’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Is it?”

Steve paused again. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I don’t know.”

“How do you feel when you’re around him?”

“I feel… warm. Safe,” he said. “Like I could float away when I’m around him, but also like I have butterflies in my stomach.”

“All right,” Dr. Erskine replied. “But what emotion do you feel around him?”

“Happy, I suppose,” Steve said. “And afraid that I’m going to do something to mess everything up.”

“You’re afraid that he will judge you,” he said. 

“Yeah, which is dumb because he’s already seen me have a panic attack and it didn’t seem to phase him,” Steve replied.

Dr. Erskine’s eyebrows rose. “How did you find out that it wasn’t a problem with him?”

Steve told him about how they went to the baseball game on Labor Day weekend and how he’d had a panic attack when he met Thor’s father. He relayed how he responded the following day and how his attempt to avoid Thor was thwarted by running into him. 

“How did you feel when he said that he didn’t judge you for having panic disorder?”

“I cried,” Steve replied. “I felt relieved. Shocked. And… happy. Like… I’m so used to people, teachers, family, pretty much everyone thinking that I’m either faking it for attention or a freak or something. I mean, I barely know Thor! I just met him a couple weeks ago!”

“You believe that he can’t possibly be this kind because men are rarely kind to you,” Dr. Erskine said.

Steve thought about that for a while. It was true. His father had been an alcoholic right up to the day he died. He’d beaten and abused both him and his mom. But because his mother’s family were the most conservative Irish Catholics in the world, she never felt that she was able to leave. So they stayed until the day the man had died stumbling into the street in a drunken stupor and been hit by a bus.

His bullies, similarly, had always been men like Gilmore Hodge. Bucky was his only friend before Thor showed up. Male teachers, administrative figures, and authority figures always failed him or refused to do anything about what was happening to him. “Be a man,” they would say. Or, “You have to fight your own battles.” Or even going so far as to label him a troublemaker for getting beaten up by his bullies. No. Men were not kind. Not in his experience, anyway. He nodded his head.

“So if you were to have a crush on Thor,” he said. “Would that be so bad?”

“The problem is that I don’t know if I like him,” Steve said. “I like hanging out with him. I like going out and having fun. I like staying in and studying with him. I like working with him in class. I don’t know if that means that I have a crush on him.”

“Well, what do you like about him?”

“He’s… good to me,” Steve replied. “He’s kind, like I said. We touch a lot, but it’s never coercive or violent towards me. He’s… gentle.”

“Is he attractive?” Dr. Erskine asked.

Steve blushed, thinking of whenever he saw Thor from behind and having to keep his eyes from traveling down his back to his butt. He tried not to think about his chest or his arms and the way they moved when he walked. And he _definitely_ tried to avoid thinking about his smile, the way his long, golden hair framed his face or the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled (which was _all the time_ ). 

“He’s… yes, he’s objectively attractive,” he said.

“I’m not asking if he’s objectively attractive,” Dr. Erskine said. “I’m asking if you, Steve Rogers, find him attractive.”

Shit, he thought. “Yes, fine, I think he’s hot.”

“It’s all right, Steve,” he said. 

Steve took a deep breath. “It’s just that… I’ve only recently started wondering if I’m gay or if I’m interested in guys or if I’m just interested in Thor or whatever it is that’s going on with me and it’s really hard to admit that it might be true.”

Dr. Erskine nodded his head. “That’s perfectly normal,” he said. “People who are discovering their sexualities often feel afraid early on.”

“It’s just…” Steve said, swallowing. “I want to keep spending time with him, but if I tell him, what if he doesn’t feel the same way? Or worse, what if I’ve completely misread him and he’s not interested at all?” 

“The same can be said of every relationship, though,” he pointed out.

“Thanks… I think,” Steve said.  


* * *

Later that evening he was sitting on the couch with his mother watching a baseball game. It was another Mets game, but this time they were down by a couple points midway through the game. Steve glanced over to where they had put the ball he caught a couple weeks ago and smiled. Which reminded him of what he had talked about with his therapist earlier that day. 

“Hey mom?” he said around the lump in his throat. 

“Yes, sweetie?”

_Breathe, Steve. Just keep breathing,_ he thought to himself. “Um… if I was, um…”

She didn’t say anything but she did turn the game down. She looked at him as she waited for him to finish what he was saying.

He released a breath. “If I was… interested in men… what would you do?”

“Do?” she asked. “I don’t understand the question.”

“You know, what would you say?”

She regarded him for a moment and reached down to take his hand in hers. “I would be very proud of you,” she said, looking into his eyes. She reached up to rest her other hand against his cheek. “I would tell you that I love you. I’d tell you that nothing could ever change how I feel about you. And then I’d take you out for ice cream to celebrate.”

Steve smiled. “Ice cream sounds great, but… do you mind if we got shawarma instead?”

She laughed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Steve laughed and noticed that he was crying as well. “I like guys, mom. And I really, really like Thor.”

She hugged him and rocked him back and forth as they cried together. “Oh, Steve, my precious son. I’m so proud of you. I love you so so so much and nothing will ever change that. And yes, we can get shawarma.”

Steve managed to stop crying by the time they got out to the car, though his mom was still dabbing at her eyes every now and then. He never expected that she wouldn’t be okay with it, but anxiety made everything confusing sometimes. It was easier, sometimes, to be convinced that people hated him than loved him. He was working on that, though.

“So nothing about what I said surprised you at all?” he asked.

“Steve, I’ve suspected that you were gay since you were 8 years old,” she said. “I’ve been expecting you to tell me that you and Bucky were a thing for years.”

“Eww!” Steve cried. “Mom, Steve’s my best friend!”

“So?”

“So that would be like dating a brother or something,” he protested. “I wouldn’t want to… do anything with him, that’d be weird!”

His mom chuckled as she rolled her eyes. “So Thor, huh?” she asked.

He blushed. He blushed so much that he could feel his entire body grow warm as it spread over him. “Y-yeah,” he said. “What about him?”

“Nothing. You have good taste,” she said.

“Does that mean I can hang out with him later?”

“No,” she said, grinning. “You’re still grounded.”

“Damn. It was worth a shot.”

She laughed at that. “Don’t worry, it won’t last that much longer. But if ever mistreats you, I want you to tell me.”

“Mom, I don’t think that’ll happen,” he said. “I don’t even know if he likes me.”

She offered a sympathetic smile as she drove on. They arrived at the same place Steve had taken Thor and Mr. Baker to last week. It was slightly busier than before. There were a few more patrons at another table but that was it. They went and sat down at a free table and ordered their food. 

“Didn’t you say that you brought Thor here on that day you skipped school,” his mother asked.

“Yeah,” he said, laughing. “He said he’d never been to a hole-in-the-wall place before. I think it was a shock for him.”

She laughed at that. “I remember the first time I went to one,” she said. “I thought for sure there was going to be a rat or something. But the food was amazing and I’ve never wanted to go anywhere else since.”

“It’s weird for me to think that there are people who’ve never actually been to one of these places,” he replied. “Though Thor did take me to get ice cream later on and I have to say, that was some of the best ice cream I’d ever eaten.”

“You should’ve brought me some,” she said. 

“You were yelling at me at the time,” Steve protested. 

“Excuses excuses,” she replied, taking a bit of her shawarma. “That’s exactly why you should have brought me some fancy ice cream! I might have been more lenient.”

“Really?”

“No are you kidding?” she replied, laughing. “You scared the shit out of me. Next time you plan on playing hookie with your boyfriend, you text me first so I don’t have to plan to pick you up at school and be worried when you don’t show up.”

Steve attempted to hide his blush in his shawarma. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he muttered. 

“Semantics,” his mom scoffed. “But while we’re on the subject, do you know to…”

Steve stared at her while he waited for her to finish her sentence. “Know how to what?”

“You know…” she said, coughing. “Use a…” she made a vague, obscure gesture. Steve was at a loss for words. 

“Use a what?” he asked. “Come on mom, I’m 19, I think I can handle it.”

“A _condom_ ,” she whispered. 

Steve’s face became so red he thought he might make a good reference picture for a tomato. “ _Mom!_ ” 

“Shut up, Steve I’m a nurse,” she said, her own face blushing to a similar shade as his. “It’s my job to make sure you’re… healthy.”

“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation,” he said, mortified. 

“Well it’s not like I particularly enjoy it either!” she said. 

“Yes! Fine, okay yes! I know how… those things… work,” he said. “I know how to use one. Happy?”

“Yes, let’s forget about it,” she said.

_Thank God,_ he thought.  


* * *

The next day Steve got out of the car and walked to the school. Thor was waiting for him at their usual spot, an open area on the second floor above the main entrance hallway about halfway between the art class where Loki and Steve had their first period and Thor and Tony’s calculus class. Loki and Tony were nearby, flirting. It amazed Steve how quickly two people could get that comfortable with each other. Hell, he still blushed like a schoolgirl whenever Thor gave him any sort of physical affection. Like he was about to do.

“Steve!” he said. “How are you?”

He yawned as he was enveloped in Thor’s arms. “I’m tired,” he said honestly. “I couldn’t sleep last night.”

It was true. After they got back from getting shawarma Steve had texted Bucky, who’d called him in the middle of the night to congratulate him for coming out. He still wasn’t sure what to call himself, but he was at least able to recognize that he liked guys. He’d spent practically the rest of the night thinking about, fantasizing about Thor. All in all he got about 3 hours of sleep, tops. 

“You should have texted me,” Thor said, chuckling. Steve loved the feeling of his laughter. He loved the sound, too. He loved the way Thor’s face looked when he was laughing. But the _feeling_ of it sent shivers down his spine. “I would have gotten you some coffee on the way here.”

Someone to the side coughed and Steve extracted himself from Thor’s arms. It was Tony. He didn’t know what to think of him. He liked him, but he was also cocky, dramatic, and frequently obnoxious. But he was also loyal, charming, and the smartest person he knew, so Steve had a level of admiration for the man. 

“So Steve,” he asked, walking up to him and clapping him on the shoulder. “Got any plans for Homecoming?”

“No?” he answered. _Why do I get the feeling that that’s about to change?_ he wondered. 

“My parents are gonna be out of town,” he said. “I’m throwing a party after the Homecoming dance. It’s gonna be huge! There’s gonna be girls, guys, whatever you’re up for--”

Steve blushed and pointedly avoided looking in Thor’s direction.

“-- games, drinking, drinking games. You should come.”

“Thanks, Tony. I appreciate it,” he said. “But I don’t really do parties.”

Tony looked like he was going to press the issue but Loki tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and Loki quietly shook his head. He turned around and, without missing a beat, said, “I understand. Some other time. But seriously, there’s going to be a dance, you should at least go to that.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it,” Steve replied. As soon as he said that Tony and Loki started whispering together and he turned his attention back to Thor.

“Why don’t you want to go to Homecoming?” Thor asked. 

“Well, I don’t really know what to do at dances,” Steve said. “And I’m not exactly the most eligible bachelor in school, so there never seemed to be much point. Anyway, I can’t dance, so there’s not much point in going to the dance, is there?”

Thor regarded him in silence. Steve blushed slightly. “So… are you planning to go to homecoming?”

“Well, I am on the football team,” Thor said, chuckling. “I at least have to be at the game. But I have no such obligation for the dance.”

“So will you go?” Steve asked.

“Depends on whether the right person agreed to go out with me,” Thor said. He was looking into his eyes. Steve’s breathing hitched. He nodded for him to go on.

“Steve Rogers,” Thor said, taking his hands in his. “Will you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Homecoming dance?”

_Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,_ he thought in a panic. _Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit._

Fear intruded his mind. He began to feel cold. 

“Steve?” Thor asked. “Breathe. Breathe with me.” Thor began to breathe deeply. Steve tried to do the same. 

“I’ve got you, Steve,” Thor said. “I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

It was the most ridiculous thing. He didn’t feel safe. He was about to die. He was about to die right at this very moment. 

Steve began to shake uncontrollably His heart began to beat so fast it felt like it would burst out of his chest. Sweat formed on his hands and his face. He looked up into Thor’s face. He tried to fight the intense fear that pervaded his mind but it was no use. He was losing this battle. He stumbled when he tried to move away, but Thor caught him. He was being moved back to an out of the way corner of their area. Thor sat him down before getting down on the floor next to him. 

Like before, Thor began to talk to him. Steve couldn’t focus on what he was saying. He focused, as much as he could, on breathing. He shook. He couldn’t stop shaking. The fear was overwhelming. Thor was talking about something. He couldn’t keep up with what he was saying. 

Then, as soon as it come, it was gone. The fear dissipated and Steve looked around to remember where exactly he was. He wiped his forehead with his hand. Tony handed him a paper towel. Steve accepted it gratefully. He felt gross. He usually did after these. 

“Sorry about that,” he said with a chuckle. “That was poorly timed.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Thor said under his breath. “And… do not feel pressured or anything, you need not answer right away.”

Steve looked at him in confusion for a moment. Then he remembered what they had been talking about. 

“Oh! That!” Steve said. “No, I have an answer.”

“It is fine, Steve, really,” Thor said. 

“Thor, please, just shut up,” he replied. Thor blinked, but he closed his mouth. 

_Think fast, Stevie!_ he thought.

“I… would love to go out with you, Thor,” he said. “But… I don’t want to go to Homecoming.”

Thor blinked then smiled. 

“I just… I’m really terrified of having a panic attack like this in front of the whole school,” he rambled on. “So I really want to go out with you but I--”

“Steve,” he said. 

“--if Homecoming is really important to you and all--”

“Steve,” Thor said, taking his hands in his again. Steve shut up. “I understand. Homecoming isn't that important to me. I just wanted to spend the evening with you.”

Steve’s face began to heat up. “Oh.”

Thor began moved their hands to lace their fingers together. Steve’s heartbeat calmed and his breathing evened out. He looked down at their hands and chuckled.

“I'm an idiot,” he said. Thor smiled. Then he kissed his forehead and if Steve's blush could possibly grow any more he'd probably combust. 

“Maybe. But you are my idiot,” he whispered. 

“You're doing this to me on purpose,” Steve grumbled.

Thor shrugged but there was big, goofy grin plastered on his face. Steve smiled back at him.

“I hate to break up this… nauseating display of affection,” Tony said. Steve tried to scowl at him but he couldn't get his facial muscles to work right. “But the bell’s about to ring for the first period.”

“I don't suppose we could skip school again?” he asked.

Thor let out a great booming laugh. “Alas, I have practice this afternoon,” he said. “But I can walk you to class.”

Steve smiled. “I'd like that.”

Thor got up and helped him up. Steve walked down the hallway, his fingers still entwined around Thor's and for once in his life, he didn't feel so afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys this story is getting out of hand. It has a life of its own, I swear. I'm 114k words into it and I'm not sure when I'll finish. It's already more than twice the length of any fic I've ever written. I never remember where y'all are at in this thing cause I'm about 20 some chapters ahead. So all that is to say, we're just getting started. :)


	13. Got it Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's part is briefly nsfw
> 
> Sorry, shortish chapter, but the next one is long, so there's that.

Thor, it turned out, had been right and wrong about Steve. He _was_ interested in him and he was excited to be with him. However, he was not ready to go straight into all the couple things involved in being in a relationship. Like kissing. He was fine with forehead and cheek and hand kisses, but actual kissing he was squeamish about. Thor found this out after their physics class when he was about to head to practice. He leaned down to kiss him… when Steve turned his head.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked, concerned.

“It's not that I don't want to,” he said that afternoon as they prepared to go their separate ways. “I do. But this is all really new to me. I literally just figured out that I like guys. And you. So… do you mind if we take it slow?”

“Of course not.” he replied. “We can go at whatever pace you need.”

He did, however, conceal his disappointment. _So close, and yet so far,_ he thought. But at least Steve was okay with some physical affection and intimacy. He was also eager to kiss him, in private, secluded parts of the school while they were talking between classes. Thor quickly began teasing him and making him stand on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. It was so cute to watch him get frustrated with his uncooperative teasing. 

Still, it would have been nice to be able to kiss him properly. But he could understand his hesitancy. America was not like Sweden, where sexuality was less of a big deal. He had always known that he was gay, even as a child. It was more difficult for him to imagine figuring it out as a senior in high school, but that seemed to be more common here, even in New York City. 

Even so, the thought that he was now officially with Steve kept him happy through a difficult practice. The team struggled with performing certain plays they had been working on, which frustrated him as the quarterback and the coaches. People were fumbling the ball and generally messing up plays. It was a general setback for what had been a pretty good season so far. It was something to work on in the future. Still, his mood was only slightly dampened and he had a smile on his face when he dropped his bags in the car.

“You seem happy,” his mother observed.

“I am,” he said simply. 

Her eyes twinkled with that light that spoke of mischief and joy. “Any particular reason?”

His smile grew. “Steve and I are together, now.”

If his mother had not been the one driving, her shriek would have caused anyone else to veer off the road. No, shriek was not the right word. It was somewhere between a cheer and a cackle. 

“How did it happen?” she demanded.

“Well, Tony started off by asking if Steve wanted to go to his Homecoming after party,” Thor explained. “He declined, of course.”

His mother nodded impatiently.

“Anyway, then he asked if I had any plans to go to the dance that weekend,” he continued. “And I told him that I was only planning on going if the right person agreed to go with me as my date.”

“Go on, go on,” his mother said, grinning.

“I looked down into his eyes and he realized what I was saying and I said, ‘Steve Rogers, will you accompany me to the Homecoming dance?’”

His mother shrieked again and he admitted that he was smiling as he remembered what happened.

“And he said yes?” she asked. “That’s wonderful!”

“He did eventually,” he said.

“‘Eventually?’”

“He had a panic attack right after I asked him,” he explained. 

“Oh, the poor boy,” she said. “I am surprised he still said yes after that.”

“As was I, mother,” he replied. “But he was most insistent.”

When they got home they carefully circumvented Odin, who was hiding out in his study and went to the kitchen where they kept the calendar. It displayed various charity events, meals, and appointments with diplomatic liaisons over the course of the next month. It was practically littered with such appointments, his parents would likely be gone for much of the next week or so.

 _The life of a diplomat is never over,_ Thor thought. Not that he was completely disappointed by the schedule. If it meant that his father would be out of his hair for a while, that was fine with him. He did not want to argue with him about Steve quite yet, especially now that he was his boyfriend.

“We must invite him over for dinner,” she said, flipping through the calendar. “Him and this boy Tony. I want us all to have a dinner together as a family.”

“Mother, you know I would be thrilled to have Steve over for any reason,” he reasoned, “but father does not care for him, remember?”

“Your father will be returning to Sweden for business for three weeks the week after your Homecoming,” she said. “So there is absolutely no reason Steve couldn't come over for dinner.”

“Oh,” he replied. “Well I will verify the date with him, then.”

“Do the two of you have plans for Homecoming?” she asked.

“Steve doesn't want to go to the dance,” Thor said. “ He's… not comfortable with the idea.”

His mother gave a knowing nod. 

“But we are planning on doing something for the evening,” he continued. “I was thinking maybe a dinner and movie.”

His mother stared at him in silence for a moment. Thor felt like he was about to shrink beneath her gaze. He had apparently performed an egregious misstep in her eyes. He gulped.

“Thor Odinson. My son. My beloved, eldest son,” she said. “You know that I love you. But you're an idiot.”

Thor blinked. “What is wrong with dinner and a movie?” he demanded. “Couples go out for dinner and movies all the time.”

She took his face in her hands. “Yes, they do. And that is a perfectly acceptable date and you should take him out for such a date,” she said. “But for the night of Homecoming, that's not going to cut it.”

“So… what should I do?” he asked lamely.

“I'm not helping you,” she said turning her attention back to her calendar. “You need to figure that out on your own. But I will say, you should put forth a little more effort for the romantic aspect than you would for a normal date.”

 _Right. Romantic,_ he thought laying on the couch. _I can be romantic, right?_

He was, however, at a loss. He suddenly regretted eschewing all the romantic comedies his mother watched on occasion. His knowledge of what people did for romantic dates would probably be better if he actually had something to work off of. Unfortunately, the things that stoked his interest, rugby, real football, video games, action movies, fantasy books and such were not the best sources of ideas for romance. 

_Candles,_ he thought. _Candles are romantic, right? And music._

With that, a wonderful idea occurred to him. It made him smile. He'd need to plan it carefully, though. Quickly, too. There were only 2 weeks until Homecoming. Maybe he could enlist his mother’s help. Or Loki’s. As mischievous as his brother was he did still occasionally agree to help him out with something. It might cost him a favor or two, but it would be worth it.  


* * *

Steve lay awake that night grinning like a loon. He couldn’t help himself. He could still feel the spot on his forehead where Thor had kissed him, where the bristly strands of his beard had scratched his skin. He would feel the warmth on his cheeks from where he had received more kisses that day and the feeling of his beard on his lips as he had stood on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He was so spun up that it was past midnight and despite the fact that he had barely slept the past few nights, he couldn’t sleep. 

He was glad that Thor had agreed to take it slow. Steve was really intimidated by how quickly things had been moving for him. Over the course of a couple weeks, he had gone from questioning his sexuality, to processing his crush on Thor with his therapist, to coming out to his mom, and now he and Thor were officially boyfriends. It was too much. He needed the time to figure out what this meant for him. What this meant for how he saw his life unfolding. What this meant for his relationship with Thor. 

The last one, at least, he could figure out with Thor rather than on his own. It was a comforting thought, the idea of not being alone. 

I’m not alone, he thought with wonder. Aside from Thor, there was Bucky, who he had known for years but only recently had discovered that he was attracted to guys as well. There were also Loki and Tony, who were much more open about their sexualities. They were also blatantly flirting with each other to the point where Steve was beginning to wonder if they were a thing already or if they were quickly heading in that direction. He thought it would be rude to ask. 

He wondered what it would be like to have Thor kiss him. He imagined what it would feel like to have his beard scratch his smooth skin, how his soft, smooth lips would feel against his own. Would he gentle, letting Steve decide the pace? Or would he be rough and take charge, leading the way for Steve to yield to him?

Steve shuddered at the thought of Thor taking charge. Of being pinned beneath him. Not even in a sexual way, just… feeling the weight of him against him, feeling cared for… safe. Thor was powerful, but there was a gentleness to him. He didn’t abuse his power. Steve liked his gentleness. He also liked his strength, the calluses on his hands, the safety and security he felt when he was held tightly against Thor’s body. He wanted to feel it.

Steve moaned and rutted against the mattress beneath him. He was uncomfortably hard. The mere thought of… being with Thor in… that way... sent his mind into a lustful haze. The image of Thor's naked torso came to mind. His strong, defined muscles. The abs leading down his stomach and the v-line descending down past the hem of his jeans. He imagined his ass, outlined by form-fitting jeans…

His mouth went dry. In his mind, Thor was slowly stripping out of his clothes. His shirt fell to the floor, revealing his strong, toned body. He thought about the way Thor’s muscles would move and shift as he moved. The power in his form was… intoxicating. His mouth morphed into a lazy, confident grin as his fingers moved to the hem of his jeans, undoing the button and slowly, teasingly unzipping his jeans. Steve had no idea what his cock looked like but he imagined it was… big. Thick. 

He moaned. He shucked his pajama pants to the floor and grabbed his member. It leaked with pre-cum and he hastily squeezed some lube out of the tube in the drawer of his bedside table. He took a trembling breath as he began to pump his cock. He imagined it was Thor's, rough and calloused as it gripped him. Thor was with him, his cock out and hard. He imagined what it be like, for Thor to take them both in his hand and jack them off at the same time.

“Christ,” he hissed. His other hand reached down to massage his balls. “Oh fuck.”

Steve gasped as pleasure coursed through his body. He gripped his cock tighter and sped up his strokes. He moaned as he felt his orgasm building already. 

“Thor,” he gasped. “Thor, please.”

He moaned as he came, his back arching off the bed, cum spurting from his cock and landing on his stomach. He collapsed back onto the bed as he gasped for breath. He lay still for a moment. He'd had fantasies before, but they had always been about women. They never really did much for him. But this one about Thor… it was amazing.

“Jesus Christ,” he whispered before fetching a rag from his drawer to clean himself. Then, as happy as he was, he fell into a deep sleep.


	14. Out on the Town

“Hold on, hold on, hold on,” Bucky said. “So one day you’re telling your therapist that you think you might be gay and literally the next day, you’re boyfriends with Thor Odinson because he asked you out to Homecoming?”

“Yes?” Steve answered.

“Damn, punk you got some game,” Bucky crowed. “I’m gonna need you to give me some tips for this girl cause it’s never been that easy for me.”

“You met a girl?” Steve asked. “Who is she?”

“She’s a forensic cybernetics major named Natasha,” he replied. “And she’s a genius, gorgeous badass. There were these frat guys on campus harassing some first year kids and she hacked their house website and leaked their hazing videos to the administration. And she speaks Russian.”

Steve whistled. “She sounds like quite a woman.”

“Yeah, Stevie,” Bucky replied wistfully. “You have no idea.”

“Okay, Buck, I get it,” he replied, laughing. “If I recall correctly, you never had trouble picking up girls.”

“Yeah, I’m getting mixed signals,” he said. “She’ll act like she’s interested but then leave me hanging and I really don’t know what to make of it.”

“Are you sure she’s interested? Maybe she’s just being friendly,” Steve said.

“I think I know how to recognize flirting when I see it, Steve,” he replied drily. 

Steve laughed at his friend’s expense. “Have you tried inviting her to Homecoming?”

“What kind of lame idea is that?” Bucky demanded, laughing. “We’re in college! Do former Homecoming Kings even bring dates to Homecoming?”

“I don’t know!” Steve replied. “But it’s worth a shot. And besides, we live in New York City. Spend a day or two doing dumb touristy stuff or something before the dance.”

“There’s a thought,” Bucky said. “I know that she hasn’t been to New York. She’s from Jersey.”

Steve hissed. “Really, Bucky? Really? A New Jersey girl?”

Bucky groaned on the other end of the line. “I know, I’ve brought dishonor on my whole family.”

“And your cow,” Steve added.

“How am I ever going to make up for this? My family will never forgive me.”

“You’re going to have to move to Mexico,” Steve joked. “How’s your Spanish?”

“It fuckin’ sucks, man,” Bucky replied, chuckling.

“Maybe Canada, then.”

“Oh! Have I told you what major I’m thinking of declaring?” Bucky asked.

“Please tell me it isn’t forensic something or other because this girl you like majors in it,” Steve replied.

“Ha ha, you’re so funny, ya punk,” Bucky said. “No, I’m thinking of declaring for Physical Therapy.”

“Really?” Steve asked. “That’s awesome! Why that major?”

“Well, it’s not really a major, it’s a master’s program,” Bucky explained. “I’d have to major in something like kinesiology or something, first.”

“I can see you studying kinesiology,” Steve said. “It would be a good fit for you.”

“It’s either that or psychology,” he continued. “Both are good for the whole physical therapy thing. I could motivate people by getting into their heads or something.”

“Why not both?” Steve suggested.

“Steve, are you kidding?” Bucky asked. “A double major? Do you know how long that would take to complete? Besides, I don’t really feel like killing myself trying to get into physical therapy school!”

“Why not?” Steve countered. “You could do it. You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for, Buck.”

Bucky sighed. “If you say so,” he said. “Hey, I’m gonna see you at Homecoming, right?”

“I’m not going to the dance, but I’ll probably be at the game,” Steve replied. 

“Oh come on, Steve!” Bucky said. “You’re dating Thor, you have to go to the dance!”

“No, Bucky,” he insisted, sighing.

Bucky was silent on the other end of the line. “Sorry, Steve,” he said. “I forget sometimes that it’s not that easy for you.”

“It’s fine, Buck,” he said. “Besides, Thor and I are doing… something.”

“You don’t know?”

“He won’t tell me!” Steve said. “Some surprise or something.”

“Awww, that’s so cute!” Bucky said. “Do you know where he’s taking you, at least?”

“I don’t even know if he’s taking me somewhere,” Steve complained. “I just know that he’s up to something.”

“It better not be dinner and a movie,” Bucky said. “I’d hope Thor Odinson could think of a better Homecoming date than that.”

“I don’t know,” Steve said sheepishly. “I wouldn’t mind that.”

“Steve, dinner and a movie is what people do on Friday nights,” Bucky retorted. “Homecoming is a bit more of a big deal than that.”

“So you think it’s probably something big?” he asked. 

“It’d better be,” Bucky replied. “That’s all I’m saying.”  


* * *

The next day was the night of George Washington High School’s first football game. Steve actually got to the school earlier than Thor for once and was greeted by the sight of Thor in his blue and white football jersey. He looked… hot. The jersey accentuated the broadness of his shoulders and his biceps. It was very distracting. And Thor, the cocky bastard, dared to twirl around as he approached him and wiggle his eyebrows. The insufferable man looked smug as he closed the distance between them and engulfed Steve in his arms. 

“How are you, _älskling_?” he asked. 

“Elsking? What does that mean?” he asked, standing on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He looked his boyfriend up and down. “And I’m doing great.”

Thor chuckled, obviously pleased with himself. “It’s _älskling,_ ” he corrected. “It’s a Swedish term of endearment.”

Loki scoffed. “You are such a sap, brother,” he said as greeted Tony with a kiss. 

“Is he?” Tony asked. “Where’s my term of endearment, then?” 

“Oh Tony, you are _söt som en gris,_ ” he said, smiling. 

“Is that a compliment?” Tony asked.

“You doubt me?” Loki said with mock offense.

“Of course not,” he replied, kissing him. 

“What’s that mean?” Steve whispered to Thor. 

“He said he is sweet like a pig,” Thor replied, suppressing a laugh.

“That’s a compliment?” he asked. “How is that a compliment?”

“It makes sense in Swedish,” Thor said. 

“And you evaded the question,” Steve said. “What does… _älskling,_ mean?”

“It means… ah, how would you say? Darling? Or honey?” he replied. “Something like that.”

Steve beamed. “Well… I--”

“Cat got your tongue, Steve?” he teased, stroking his cheek with his thumb. 

Steve hit his shoulder in reply. Thor laughed and kissed his forehead. Steve hid his face in Thor’s chest and relished the feeling as his arms wrapped around his body to hide his shame from the world. 

“Are you coming to the game tonight?” Thor asked. 

“Absolutely!” Steve said. “I want to watch you lead us to victory. I wouldn’t miss it!”

“Well, then,” he replied, straightening. “If you’re expecting my glorious victory tonight, I will surely not fail you!”

“We should do something to celebrate afterwards,” Steve said. 

“You’re right! We absolutely should!” he agreed. “Do you have a thought on that?”

_Come on, breathe, Steve,_ he thought to himself. He gathered his courage. “Um… do you want to see a movie? I know it’s not as impressive a date as--”

“Steve.”

“--a ballgame or anything, but you know, it’s--”

Thor put a finger to his lips. Steve shut up and looked up at his boyfriend. The man was smiling with amusement down at him, the bastard. Thor took his face in his hands and stroked his cheeks. Steve blushed furiously. 

“You are cute when you are flustered, _älskling,_ ” he murmured. “And I would love to see a movie with you.”

“... Really?” he asked.

“Of course!” Thor replied. “It will be nice to… how is it you Americans put it? Go out on the town?”

Steve chuckled and took Thor’s hand in his. “Yeah, it’ll be great.”

“I can’t wait,” Thor said, his eyes sparkling.  


* * *

The football game was a huge spectacle. Frigga graciously agreed to pick him up, since his mother had to pick up a shift that night. She showed up at his apartment with Loki and Tony in tow. Steve was actually shocked. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been part of such a large group of people. Bucky sometimes brought along other people but that was mostly because they were dates. Steve generally didn’t get along with them. It was, in fact, strange to think that these were all people that he knew. And that they were his friends. That he had friends. Plural. 

_Who knew my life would get better_ after _my best friend left for college?_ he wondered. 

Tonight, the third game of the year, was against George Washington High School’s chief rival, the Alexander Hamilton High Patriots. It was a big deal for teachers and athletes in the school, but for the people like Steve, who really only cared because a friend/significant other was on the team, it was just another game. Frigga was decked out in GWHS colors while Steve, Loki, and Tony were all dressed in relatively normal teenager clothing. Well, as normal as Loki could get without appearing “common.” Everything he dressed in was elegant and stylish and Steve always felt like he had arrived to an important event severely underdressed. 

Steve was a little dressed up in black khaki pants and a blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up for his date later on with Thor. He was trying not to freak out about it. He was trying to remind himself that the whole reason they were together in the first place was because Thor had asked him out first. He was also trying to convince himself that if he did something unspeakably awkward during the date Thor wouldn’t immediately decide against the “I think I want to date this awkward little guy ‘cause he’s cute” thing and call the whole thing off. He did some breathing techniques to help calm him down as he approached the car. 

Frigga smiled at him as he got into the shotgun seat. “Hello dear,” she said sweetly. “You look lovely this evening!”

“Thank you, Frigga,” he replied, blushing. 

“Careful, mother you might make him too embarrassed for his date later,” Loki said. “Thor will never forgive you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, pulling out of the parking spot. “Steve is going to be absolutely fine. There’s nothing to worry about, dear.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Steve replied. He’d brought one of his anti-anxiety meds just in case, though. The last thing he wanted was to have to cancel the date because he had a panic attack.

A sizable crowd was already forming at the school’s football field by the time they arrived. It was all they could do to find a parking spot that wasn’t ridiculously far from the field. About 20 minutes after they arrived, the teams came running out onto the field in a blaze of glory. Thor was easy to spot. He was the only one with long, blond hair flowing out from under his helmet. Despite the European disdain for American football, Frigga cheered. The crowd roared on both sides as the teams lined up to begin the game. Aside from Steve himself, Tony was also really into the game, something that seemed to surprise Loki.

The game was a close one. By the end of the first half, the GWHS Avengers were up 35-32. There had been a couple times when Thor had gotten tackled and Steve, even though he’d seen Bucky get tackled more times than he could count, was actually worried. But every time he would jump up and shake it off like it was nothing.

“My son has taken worse hits than that in rugby practice,” Frigga said proudly during halftime. 

“Do rugby players not wear protection at all?” Steve asked. The thought amazed him, honestly. 

“Of course not!” she declared. “If you cannot take a hit in rugby you have no business being on the field. All this protection in your American football is just extra effort.”

Watching the way Thor took hits on the field, Steve could believe it. He shuddered to think of what it would be like to watch Thor play rugby. His nerves would probably be shot by the time they made it to halftime. Thor would probably find it amusing, actually. 

By the end of the game, they had won 44-39 and the crowd went nuts. Steve jumped to his feet and cheered as loud as he could Half of the people there cheered and the other half groaned. Even Loki was on his feet cheering for the home team. Or his maybe just his brother. 

They met Thor outside one of the side entrances closest to the field. Lots of people were gathered around to cheer for the winning team. When Thor emerged he headed straight for Steve, picked him up in a hug, and swung him around laughing victoriously. 

“We won!” he shouted as he laughed. Steve started laughing, too as he clung to Thor, his arms wrapped around his neck. He pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I never doubted you,” Steve said. “Well, there was that one play…”

Thor set him down and hit him halfheartedly. “You little jerk,” he said. Then he leaned down and pressed his forehead to Steve’s, their noses touching. Steve closed his eyes and reached for Thor’s hand, lacing their fingers together. He felt inexplicably calmer now. 

After a moment, Thor straightened. “Are you ready for our date, _älskling?_ ”

Steve smiled. “You bet!”

“Great! Let us be off!” Thor replied, leading them away. 

“WAIT!” Frigga cried. “Thor you cannot honestly think of going on a date dressed in your football jersey!”

“What?” Thor asked. “This one is the clean one.”

Frigga regarded him for a solid minute. “Let me rephrase that,” she said evenly. “I will not let you bring our family into disrepute by allowing you to go on a date dressed like you do not know what a date is.”

“Mother, I really do not think Steve minds,” he protested.

“I really don’t mind, Frigga,” Steve confirmed. “I kinda love it.”

Thor grinned down at him. “Really? You love it?”

Steve blushed and avoided meeting his gaze. “Shut up.”

“As charming as that might be,” Frigga continued coldly. “It would hardly be appropriate for you to wear the jersey on a first date.”

Thor sighed. “Fine. I suppose we will have to make a detour so I can go home and change,” he said.

“Not to worry, son,” she said nodding to the side. Steve jumped as he realized that Mr. Baker was there with a duffel bag. “I took the liberty of asking Mr. Baker to bring you new clothes.”

Thor actually managed to look sheepish and embarrassed. He grabbed the duffel bag and headed back into the school grumbling. Steve was actually a little embarrassed as well, but it was still almost funny to watch the mighty Thor be cowed by his mom. He was also a bit disappointed. Thor did look hot in his jersey. 

He emerged a few minutes later dressed in a smart, pink, short-sleeved button down shirt with the top couple buttons undone to reveal part of his chest and a pair of navy dress pants. He was confident, relaxed, and… really hot. Steve’s mouth went dry when he saw him. Thor in business casual clothing looked amazing. Thor in formal attire next week for Homecoming might actually kill him. Not that Steve would mind.

“Ready?” he asked. 

“H-hot-- I mean… damn-- I MEAN HELL,” Steve stammered. He felt his face heat up as he failed utterly to move his eyes from Thor’s torso and how the shirt accentuated his muscles. Somewhere in the background Tony and Loki were laughing at him. He ducked his head in shame. “I-I mean… yeah, let’s just… go.”

He turned around and walked briskly away from the Odinson clan. There was really only so much embarrassment he could take at once and his Freudian slip was absolutely too much right now. Thor, however, decided to jog after him. 

“You look amazing tonight, Steve,” Thor whispered as he took his hand. Steve looked up at him and smiled. 

“You think so?” he asked. 

“Of course,” Thor replied. “Your ass looks great.”

Steve nearly tripped over himself. “You’re doing this to me on purpose,” he grumbled.

Thor laughed. “Yes, I am complimenting my adorable boyfriend with a great ass on purpose,” he said. “Sue me.”

“I might,” he threatened, though he smiled. Then he raised Thor’s hand to his lips and kissed it. 

As they approached the sidewalk a car pulled up and stopped in front of them. 

“Master Odinson,” Mr. Baker said, announcing his presence. “I’ve been assigned as your chaperone for the evening. I will take you wherever you need to go.”

“We have a chaperone?” Steve asked. “I thought they stopped doing that like in the 50s.”

“Well I cannot drive,” Thor said. “And unless you’re suddenly covered on our Swedish car insurance, you cannot drive. So it was going to be either Mr. Baker or my mother.”

“Well, let’s get going, then.”  


* * *

As much as Steve was a fan of hole-in-the-wall places, this wasn’t a lunch date. It was a dinner date. And he didn’t get all dressed up to go to a hole-in-the-wall place on the side of the street. His mother had actually made him promise that he wouldn’t do that because it was bad from and that their first, official date should be somewhere nice. So Steve told Mr. Baker to drive to a steakhouse. 

Mr. Baker, it seemed, was only technically their chaperone. In that he was the one driving them places. He didn’t go inside the restaurant with them. Steve was slightly nervous. Mostly because beer had once been a major trigger for him. It had been months since it had actually caused him to have a panic attack. Hell, he went to a baseball game and been completely fine even though he knew that there were people drinking beer around him. 

“To be honest,” Thor said as they sat down at their table. “I was expecting a… how did you put it? A hole-in-the-wall.”

“I figured it would be nice for our first date to be someplace more…” he searched for a word. “Date-like.”

“And now I am glad my mother insisted that I change,” Thor said, his eyes twinkling. 

“This is why you’re glad?” Steve asked. “Not because of my Freudian slip?”

“Which slip?” Thor asked, chuckling. “The one where you said I look hot or the one where you said I was hot as hell?”

“I did not say that you were hot as hell!” Steve protested. “I said, ‘hell.’”

“Yes,” Thor replied with a smile. “Prefaced by ‘hot.’”

“I-- that-- nevermind.” He went to hide his face in his hands. Thor grabbed his hands gently and held them in his, lacing their fingers together as he gazed at him.

“Have I mentioned that you are pretty when you blush?”

Steve pointedly took the menu that the waitress brought and hid his face behind it. “I hate you,” he muttered. 

Thor just laughed.

The meal was fairly inexpensive for a steakhouse. Thor got a steak, of course. They were celebrating. Steve got some chicken and shrimp combo thing and when the waiter left, he realized that he had no idea what to do on an actual date. 

Thor, fortunately, had no such issues. “Tell me about yourself, Steve.”

“Well… uh, what do you want to know?”

“Well…” Thor mused. “How long have you lived in Brooklyn?”

“I was born here,” Steve said. “I’ve never lived anywhere else. And honestly, I’ve never wanted to live anywhere else.”

“You have never been curious about other places?” Thor asked.

“It’s not that I haven’t been curious,” Steve said. “But there aren’t many reasons to leave. My mom has family in Albany, but aside from that we don’t do much traveling.”

“Huh,” he said. 

“What about you?” Steve asked. “Do you travel much?”

“Yeah, I have been to many countries, mostly in Europe,” Thor replied. “Germany, Switzerland, the UK, Italy, Greece, Finland.”

Steve whistled. “Damn.”

Thor smiled. “I’d really like to do a tour of Europe for a year after I graduate,” he said. 

“You’re not thinking of going to college?” Steve asked. 

Thor shrugged. “In Europe it is more common to take a year off from school before going to university,” he explained. “I think I would like to spend the year traveling.”

“That does sound nice,” Steve admitted. Thor smiled. 

“So what of you?” he asked. “Do you have any big plans for after we graduate?”

“The big question,” Steve said with a nervous chuckle. “Well, I don’t know. I’d like to go to art school. I think my dream job would be helping to make comic books.”

“Comic books?” Thor asked with genuine interest. “Really? What kind of comics?”

Steve hated how easily flustered he became around Thor. It was the most embarrassing thing in the world that he couldn’t have a normal conversation with the guy without feeling the urge to climb into a hole. 

“Well, I’d like to do superhero comics,” Steve said. “You know, like Batman and Robin and Teen Titans and stuff like that.” 

“Why superheroes?” Thor asked. 

“Well…” Steve thought. _How much do I want to share?_ he wondered. _Do I want to share the big stuff?_

_Why not?_ part of his mind replied. He took a breath. 

“Well, I’ve always wanted to be… stronger, I guess,” he explained. “I’ve always wondered what it was like to be able to fly and fight and be a hero, you know?”

Thor smiled. “I would like to see your drawings sometime,” he said.

“Sure, but they’re not that great yet,” Steve countered.

“You are too modest, Steve,” Thor replied. 

“You haven’t even seen my drawings, yet,” he pointed out. 

“No, but Loki is in your class, remember?” he said. “He says you are very skilled. And he is not one to pay compliments he does not mean.”

“Oh.”

They were quiet for a while after that. Until Steve thought it was his turn to keep the conversation going. 

“Your mom mentioned that you play rugby,” he said. 

“We have talked about that, have we not?” Thor asked. 

“No, I’m pretty sure you only said that you need to show me why rugby is the best sport when we were at the Mets game,” Steve replied.

“We must have spoken of it,” Thor insisted. “But I am always happy to talk about it. Yes, I play rugby when I’m in Sweden.”

Thor explained that while he much preferred to play football than any other sport while he was in America, his favorite sport in the world was rugby. He and his father watched the World Cup every four years, how they frequently wished that Sweden would be good enough to qualify, but that it hadn’t happened in decades. He explained what it was like to get tackled by rugby players and how players were often covered in bruises by the end of the match and none of them would think to use as much protection as American football players use. 

“So if you had your way,” Steve said. “You’d still be getting tackled but you’d have 40 pounds less protection.”

Thor scoffed. “I don’t need it,” he declared.

“I think I would be terrified to watch you do that,” Steve said. 

“Sometime after a game I will have to send you pictures of my battle scars,” Thor said with a chuckle. 

“Oh Jesus,” Steve groaned. Apparently taking that to be an invitation, Thor took out his phone and showed him pictures of big, purple bruises that he’d earned while playing the game. Steve’s face must have looked comical, because Thor couldn’t stop laughing at the display as he flipped through his gallery of “battle scars.”

“How are you still walking?” Steve demanded. 

“I learned how to take hits,” Thor boasted.

Thank goodness their food arrived, otherwise Steve would have surely lost his appetite looking at Thor’s pictures. Although, considering his size and his strength, he shouldn’t be surprised. Thor tore into his food with gusto. It was somewhat amazing… in a way. It was the same enthusiasm with which Thor approached everything else. Sometimes it was a bit much, like when they were doing a lab and Thor would shout their success and everyone would stare at them.

Dinner was great… until the receipt came. 

“I will pay,” Thor said, taking out his wallet.

“Thor, no let me,” Steve protested. 

“Steve, really it’s fine I don’t mind.”

“It’s my turn to take you out, Thor,” he said.

“And you are, but I am the one who is more capable of paying, so allow me,” he insisted.

“I _am_ capable of doing things for myself, you know,” Steve grumbled. 

“I never you said you were not,” he replied.

“Then why won’t you let me pay for the date?” 

“Why does it matter?” 

Steve couldn’t answer that. Before he could protest further, Thor put down the credit card and the server snatched it up. Steve glowered at Thor.

“What?” Thor asked testily.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” Thor snapped. “You are angry with me.”

“It’s just…” Steve said. He could feel his anxiety rising. He really didn’t want to deal with this now, he just wanted to enjoy the date with Thor. “I liked the idea of being the one to treat you to something for once.”

Thor was quiet. His expression softened. 

“You’re always taking me out, making sure I’m having a good time,” Steve said, avoiding his gaze. “But you know… I like doing that, too. ‘Cause you’re my… boyfriend, you know?”

Thor sighed and reached across the table and caressed Steve’s face in his hand, his other hand covering Steve’s folded hands on the table.

“I was an ass,” Thor said. “I am sorry.”

“No, it’s fine--”

“No, I should have listened to you,” Thor said. “I take for granted that my family is as well off as it is.”

Steve sighed and entwined their fingers together. “All right. I accept your apology,” he said. “Just… don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”

Thor smiled. “Deal.”  


* * *

Thor, although annoyed by their spat at the restaurant, entered the movie theater hand in hand with his boyfriend. He’d meant every word he said earlier. Steve looked great tonight. The shirt complimented his pale complexion nicely and his pants… damn. His ass was so cute and round. Thor had to stop himself from running his hand around Steve’s waist and sneaking down to feel it. Or grip it. 

_Gods help me,_ he thought. 

He wondered what movie Steve would pick from the line up. There were some good action movies. Rom-coms were not really his thing, but he would watch one if Steve picked it. What he really wanted to see was the horror movie. But considering what he knew about Steve, he doubted he would want to see that movie. It would probably be difficult for him. 

Then, to his complete surprise, Steve asked for two tickets to that exact movie. 

“I am surprised that you wanted to see that one,” he said when they got in line to get drinks.

“You scared, big guy?” Steve asked. “Don’t worry I’ll protect you.”

“So valiant,” he jested, winking at him. “My little hero.”

“I do my best,” Steve said, laughing along. “But really, I do like horror movies.”

“I would have expected that you did not like being scared,” Thor admitted.

“I don’t like it, per se,” he replied. “But it helps me to remember that they aren’t real. That it’s just on a movie screen. So it helps me to deal with anxiety in real life.”

“That makes sense,” Thor said. “Like practicing for the real game by going to a scrimmage.”

“Right, like that,” he said. “So sorry that I’m making you go through my own therapy.”

“I do not mind,” Thor said. He meant it. “I love horror movies.”

“Oh, so if I scream like a girl?”

“It will not matter to me,” he confirmed with a chuckle. He wrapped an arm around his waist. “I will protect you.”

“Great, so we have each other’s backs,” Steve said. “Good to know.”

They got there reasonably early, but the theater was already filling up. Although, the movie had been out for a couple weeks, so it was not as crowded as it might have been otherwise. Thor went straight for one of the middle rows where there was a couple seats free. Steve sat next to him and let his arm drape across his shoulders. Steve hummed appreciatively. 

The movie started about 20 minutes after they sat down. Thor checked to make sure Steve was all right. He was fine, so far. The beginning of the movie was innocent enough. Some dumb teenagers who decided that it would be a grand idea to rent a lakeside cabin, then go into the woods in the middle of the night. 

_Classic,_ Thor thought to himself. 

Then shit began to hit the fan. Steve actually did scream when a jump scare happened. The scream made Thor jump more than the actual jump scare. Thor actually laughed at parts of the movie, like when the couple in the group decided that the middle of the forest while they were being hunted by a mysterious murdering madman was the perfect time to snog. 

_Only Americans would be this ridiculous during life-threatening situations,_ he thought.

At some point during the middle of the movie, Steve started to huddle against him. Thor smiled and moved his shoulders so that his hand came to rest on his chest. He could feel Steve’s heart pounding through his shirt. _He’s so brave,_ he thought and kissed the top of his head. Steve huddled closer, although whether he did so knowingly or not, Thor could not find it in himself to care. It was nice. 

Almost as soon as he thought that the madman jumped out of the shrubbery screaming, chainsaw whirring and Steve screamed again. Thor actually laughed as the guy heroically, if futilely, sacrificed himself. The girl did not last much longer. _At least one of them died with honor,_ he thought to himself.  


* * *

“That was a great movie,” Thor declared at the end. 

“Everyone died,” Steve pointed out. 

“Steve, how many horror movies do you know of that have a happy ending where everyone lives?” Thor demanded.

“Fair enough,” he admitted. “I’m glad you had fun.”

Thor smiled down at his boyfriend. “What of you?” he asked. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

“I did,” Steve admitted. “It helped that there was good company.”

“Aye, good company makes everything better,” he replied, laughing as bent to kiss his cheek. Steve yawned and allowed Thor to lead him to where Mr. Baker had parked the car and was waiting for them. He held a tall cup of some kind of coffee. As soon as they were in the car, Steve let his head fall against Thor’s chest and began sleeping. Thor smiled at the sight. Steve was cute when he was asleep. He looked so serene and handsome, like all the worry and stress of his life just fell away. 

Steve slept like the dead. Nothing, not even the city lights and noises woke him up. When they finally arrived at his apartment to drop him off, it was past 2 in the morning. Thor picked him bridal style and walked up to the front door where Mr. Baker rang for Steve’s apartment. He almost didn’t want to let him go. He looked so beautiful in the light of the moon and the street lights. It took a few tries but they finally managed to get ahold of her.

“Whozzit?” came Mrs. Rogers’ sleep slurred voice. 

“It’s Thor, ma’am,” he announced. “I’m here to drop off Steve, can you let us in?”

“Hmm? Oh right, sure,” she said. The door buzzed and he voiced his thanks. 

As soon as he got to Steve’s apartment, he started to shake him gently until he stirred. 

“You’re home,” he whispered. Steve looked around before he realized that he was being carried. 

“Oh. Thanks,” he replied with a yawn. “Sorry, I thought I would last longer than that.”

Thor laughed. “It is no problem. I will text you in the morning.”

Steve hummed. “Sounds like a plan,” he said. He began to doze off again. Thor just chuckled and shook him again. 

“I have to set you down, _älskling._ ”

“Oh. Right.”

Thor set him down gently and Steve leaned against the door to his apartment as he fished around his pockets for the key. When he finally opened the door, he turned around and grabbed Thor’s hand. 

“I had a great time tonight,” he said with a weak smile. “We should do it again sometime.”

Thor reached down and took his boyfriend’s hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it. “It would be my pleasure, Steve.”

He smiled as his boyfriend blushed again. “I’m...uh. I’m gonna go… now,” he stammered as he closed the door. Thor laughed as he descended down the stairs and went back to the car.

“I trust all is well, Master Odinson?” Mr. Baker asked as he got into the shotgun seat. 

“Aye,” he replied, looking up to Steve’s window. The light was on and Steve waved goodbye as Mr. Baker pulled out of the parking spot. Thor managed to wave back before he was completely out of sight. “It is.”


	15. Cotton Candy Magic

Apparently it didn’t matter whether the quarterback for the school football team was his best friend or his boyfriend. Spirit Week remained Steve’s least favorite time of the school year. The incessant optimism, the tacky themes for each day, the deification of the football team itself, the voting for who would be Homecoming King and Queen, all of it left a bad taste in his mouth. It was probably because although bullies on the football team got away with virtually everything the rest of the year, Spirit Week was when they were particularly immune. Steve suspected that the administration received generous donations from the families of said bullies, much like Gilmore Hodge’s dad was the superintendent of the school system. 

This year wasn’t as bad. Hodge and his goons being incapable of doing any harm helped with that. But the rest of it still didn’t sit well with him. He tried his best to remain positive about it this year for Thor, who was rowdier than usual. Spirit Week seemed to agree with him and he spent the entire week pumping him and everyone around him up for the Homecoming game on Friday.

“Steve,” he said on Friday before school. “I feel you are not sufficiently spirited for Spirit Week.”

Steve was working on an art project. Loki was nearby doing the same. The project was to go out, take a picture of a landscape somewhere in New York, and recreate it with whatever medium the student chose. Their teacher this year was fairly libertarian in her instruction. It was a welcome change from last year. That teacher was particularly fond of clay and sculpting for some reason. 

“I’m not feeling it,” Steve replied. He was trying to get the skyline right. It was picture of Brooklyn Bridge and he kept referring to the image on his phone to make sure he got it right. His colored pencils weren’t the best brand for sketching, but he made do. 

“Come now,” Thor bellowed, sitting down next to him. “Where’s your school spirit?!”

“I forgot it at home,” he replied. Loki huffed with laughter at the remark.

“ _Älskling,_ come, let us toast to our glorious victory tonight and celebrate with song and dance!” he cried. 

“Gods save us,” Loki muttered. 

“Why?” Steve asked. 

The word had no sooner left his mouth than Thor opened his and the most gravelly, unholy cacophony of warbling sounds escaped Thor’s throat. Steve winced as he began to sing some kind of fight song or cheer. Amazingly, other students joined in and Thor’s voice was drowned out by people who were noticeably less bad than Steve’s boyfriend. When the song was finished Thor cheered loudly.

“There!” he cried. “Do you not feel better? Can you not feel the joy and enthusiasm rising within you?”

“Brother, I think you killed him,” Loki joked. Indeed, Steve had fallen over with his drawing carefully protected to prevent anything untoward happening to it. 

Thor just laughed. “Yes, I know, my beauteous voice is not fit for mere mortals.”

“My ears…” Steve moaned.  


* * *

The pep rally was at the end of school and it was honestly ridiculous. The school’s artificial way of pumping up the students to be excited for the Homecoming game and dance. People who were into the whole “school spirit” thing were easy to rile up. For folks like Steve and Loki, though, the whole thing was an ordeal. Tony was just looking for an excuse to party. Football games and dances were just precursors to the main event. The three of them lounged at the top of the bleachers looking all in all unimpressed with the whole spectacle. Although, it was entertaining to a certain degree to watch teachers being ridiculous.

“All this over a football game so we can feel good about ourselves,” Tony grumbled.

“No remark on how at least the cheerleaders are attractive?” Loki asked, grinning.

“At least the cheerleaders are attractive,” he echoed, eliciting a laugh from Loki. Steve smiled and rolled his eyes. Their dynamic was so strange. Night and day compared to Steve’s relationship with Thor, from what he could tell. 

Then, the main attraction, the event that every high school pep rally was centered on, occurred. The football team burst through the doors and into the gym, tearing the banner held out in front of them. The entire gymnasium cheered, including Steve. Loki and Tony clapped politely. Thor led the way, jumping and hollering and basking in the glory that was being lauded onto him. Steve smiled to himself. 

_Who would have thought that I would have ended up with the quarterback?_ he mused as he watched Thor play the crowd, showing off and strutting his stuff. Bucky did this too but he was less… ostentatious about it. 

As soon as the rally was over Thor and the rest of the football team were taken out to the field so they could prepare for the big game so Steve didn’t get a chance to catch up with him before he left. 

“Do we need to pick you up this week?” Loki asked.

“No,” he replied. “Thanks though. My mom is off tonight and she can bring me.”

“We’ll meet up at the game then,” Tony said. “Don’t be late!”

“Are you kidding?” Steve said, shoving him. Tony laughed.

He walked out to see a familiar figure leaning against his mom’s car. He was tall, dark, and ruggedly handsome and he was smiling. James Buchanan Barnes. He pushed himself off as Steve approached. Steve broke into a run and practically tackled the guy. Bucky seized him in a fierce hug and laughed. 

“You’re here!” Steve said. “You jerk!”

“Hey! What?” Bucky protested, grinning.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming!”

“Yes I did!” Bucky protested. “I said I had to come to give the crown to the homecoming king!”

“You didn’t say that you were going to come early,” Steve pointed out. 

“Oh come on,” Bucky said with a wry grin. “You think I wouldn’t ditch college for a day to come back to the best city in the world?”

“Fair enough,” Steve replied, chuckling. 

They spent the rest of the ride catching up. Bucky was immensely curious about Steve’s relationship with Thor. He bombarded him with questions about what he was like, what they had done, what the dates were like. Steve blushed as he answered the questions, but the more he told him, the more Bucky seemed to be interested. To make matters worse, his mother was in the car and heard nearly everything they talked about.

“You seem happy,” Bucky said at the end of his interrogation. 

“Yeah,” Steve replied. “I am. He’s a good guy.”

“Do you have any plans for Homecoming?” he asked. “You’re not going to the dance. What are you doing?”

“I still have no idea,” Steve admitted. “He won’t tell me. But I know he has a plan.”

“Huh,” he replied. “Well at least he can keep a secret.”

“That’s a good thing?”

“It is if you want to surprise someone,” Bucky said, grinning. “I’m impressed. I wouldn’t have pegged Thor to be that subtle.”

“He’s full of surprises,” Steve replied.

“Aww, look at Stevie,” Bucky teased. “All grown up and in a relationship and now he’s an expert.”

“Punk.”

“Just remember Stevie,” he continued with a whisper. “Wrap it before you tap it.”

“Oh Jesus,” Steve cried, burying his face in his hands. “Buck, I really don’t think that’s going to happen!”

“You say that now,” he warned. “But you never know. He could put the moves on you so good and before you know it, you’re bent over a table or desk or something with your ass in the air and--”

“Buck! Please! My mom’s in the car!” Steve protested.

“I didn’t hear anything,” she piped. Steve could see through the mirror that her face was bright red, though. Steve groaned. Bucky was either evil or oblivious as he laughed at their predicament. 

“So anyway,” Steve said with a sudden need to change the subject. “How’s it going with this Natasha lady?”

“Oh you know,” Bucky replied. “She’s turned me down flat, but she says that she wants to get to know me better, so I have no idea what to make of that.”

“What did you ask her?”

Bucky stared at him for a moment. Steve was silent for a while before his blush was back in full force. 

“Oh!”

“Yeah.”

“Well no wonder she turned you down,” Steve said.

“Oh is this where you’re going to tell me the secret of how you ended up with the hottest guy in school?” Bucky asked drily.

“Buck,” Steve said, punching his arm. “She wants you to _ask her out._ ”

“Pretty much,” his mother chimed in.

“Are you serious?” Bucky asked. “I asked her if she wanted to come to New York with me.”

“And what did she say?” he asked. 

“She said that she was too busy to go all the way to New York City for the weekend.”

“Well, Penn State is 4 hours away,” Steve pointed out. “And if she’s… what was her major?”

“Cyber forensics,” he supplied. Steve’s mom whistled. 

“Right, that. She probably can’t drop everything and come all the way here,” Steve said. 

“So what?” Bucky asked. “I need to start small or something?”

“You act like you’ve never been on a date,” Steve said. Bucky, much to his surprise, began to blush. “Wait… huh?”

“Yeah, okay, I’ve never actually been on a date,” Bucky said, his face now bright red.

“But… you were with a lot of girls in high school,” Steve protested. “I saw them!”

“They were more… sex buddies,” he replied. “Friends with benefits. And since I was the quarterback, it wasn’t that difficult to find people to sleep with. I never actually… asked anyone out.”

“Why not?” Steve asked. 

“There was… someone else I was interested in,” Bucky replied, looking out the window of the car. Steve couldn’t read his face, but he had a faraway look in his eyes.

“Really?” he asked. “Who?”

Bucky was silent for a while, to the point where Steve started to wonder if he heard him at all. “You didn’t know him,” he said at last. Steve was about to press the issue, but something stopped him. He’d tell him when he felt like it. 

By now they were back at Steve’s apartment and they cut the conversation short until they were alone in Steve’s room. He was grateful that his mom didn’t seek to intrude on the conversation any more than she already had by virtue of being the one driving the car. Bucky seemed a bit uncomfortable talking about it in the car. He seemed a little more at ease in Steve’s room, though.

“So anyway,” Bucky continued. “I’ve never been on a date. Now you know.”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around this,” Steve said. “How?”

“Well…” he replied. “It was always so… intimidating to ask someone out. But asking someone to sleep with me was easier, for some reason, so I just… Also I was trying to get his attention, not that it worked.” He hung his head in shame.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You know that I don’t judge you, right?”

He huffed a laugh. “Yeah, thanks man,” he replied, slapping a hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

“So now you just have to work up the courage to ask Natasha out and you’ll be fine,” Steve said with optimism. “What could go wrong?”

Bucky’s reply was one of those half groan fake laughs.  


* * *

The football game later that night was certainly a spectacle. The crowd was enormous. It was so big that there were people camped out on the hillside at the end of the field where the home team scored. Which had also filled up quickly. Steve and his retinue were one of the first people to camp out on said hill. Loki and Tony seemed beside themselves, having to sit on the grass “like peasants.” Bucky replied by tackling Loki to the ground and rolling around. 

“Now it’s a fully immersive experience!” Bucky said as he pinned Loki to the ground. “How’s it feel to romp around in the dirt like a peasant?”

“It’s revolting,” Loki said. He flipped them over and pinning Bucky to the ground. “Though I must say, the view from this angle is much more appealing.”

“Bite me,” Bucky said. 

“Ooooh,” Loki teased. “Is that an invitation?”

Bucky’s expression changed from trying to get the upper hand to one that Steve was all too familiar with. Bedroom eyes.

“It might be.” Tony gave an appreciative moan at the exchange. Loki and Bucky both turned their heads to grin at him. Until Frigga coughed. And all three suddenly realized that there was a very unimpressed Swedish mother staring down at them. 

“That’s enough of that,” she declared, dragging Loki to his feet. She whispered something into his ear when he stood. Whatever it was, it made him blush slightly, which was impressive enough considering what Steve knew of him. 

“Thank God,” Steve muttered. He was becoming very afraid of what his mom thought about the company he was keeping these days. She didn’t say anything, however. Whether she approved or disapproved was completely unknown. 

Bucky brushed himself off and came back to sit next to Steve.

“That was fun,” he said. 

“Uh-huh,” Steve said, unimpressed. 

“I think he’s warming up to me.”

“What gave you that idea?”

“I have a nose for these sorts of things.”

“A ‘nose’ is it?”

Bucky laughed and, in spite of himself, Steve found himself laughing along with him. Shortly after the teams raced out onto the field and the game started. Bucky, Frigga, and Steve all jumped to their feet and cheered as the Avengers ran out, jumping and bumping chests and all the usual carrying on that happened before a game. The crowd roared with excitement, fans and students, both current and former, stood to cheer for the home team. If anyone supporting the opposing team was there, they were drowned out. 

By halftime the Avengers were up 42-18. The game was completely one sided. Steve cheered every time the team scored. Thor was on even better from tonight than he was last week. Maybe there was something to that whole “school spirit” thing after all. Bucky grudgingly admitted that Thor was doing “pretty good for a European.” Steve grinned with pride at the remark. Bucky’s pride generally precluded admitting that anyone else was good at his job. 

When the game ended, the crowd roared the loudest it had all night. The final score was 62-27, a great game all around. Fans poured out onto the field and surrounded the team. Thor and some other major teammates were hoisted up on their shoulders. Steve laughed as they were carted away to some kind of celebratory event.

“If memory serves,” Bucky mused, “they’ll take the team to some kind of party.”

“What kind of party?” Steve asked. 

“The kind with lots of alcohol, probably,” he replied. “It is homecoming after all. The entire team will probably get drunk tonight.”

Steve swallowed. It had been a long time since alcohol had triggered him, but it still made him uneasy. A drunk Thor… he didn’t know if he was ready to see him in that light. 

“Hey,” Bucky said. “You don’t have to go to the party with him. Just because he might go doesn’t mean that you have to see him like that.”

Steve released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Thanks, Buck.” 

Bucky clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. Does he know?”

“He knows that I don’t drink,” he replied. “But I don’t think he knows about my being uncomfortable around alcohol.” 

“Is it still that bad?” he asked. 

“I’m getting better,” he admitted. “I was able to go to a baseball game and I didn’t have any trouble. Of course the sight of his dad drinking later that night did cause a panic attack.”

“Odin? I’m sure that went well,” he remarked.

“Is that his name?” Steve asked. “I don’t really remember much from the exchange.”

“It’ll be fine,” Bucky said, getting up. “Come on, we should go congratulate your boyfriend before he’s too overwhelmed by the adoring public.”  


* * *

They were too late. The entrance nearest to the locker room was swarmed with fans waiting to congratulate any emerging players for a job well done. And of course, everyone was significantly taller than him. He could barely manage to see through the crowd. There was no way he could tell if Thor had emerged. 

_We’re never going to get through,_ Steve thought. 

“Think fast, punk!” Bucky shouted. All of a sudden Steve blushed as he was hoisted up on Bucky’s shoulders and he saw over the crowd. No one he knew had emerged yet. Some members of the offensive line, some linebackers. 

“See him yet?” Bucky yelled up at him. 

“Not yet!” As soon as he said that, Thor emerged to the shouts and screams of the adoring crowd. He held his hands up and waved, basking in the glory of the public. A few of the girls approached him, trying to attract his attention. He felt a bit smug at the sight. They had no idea that they had no chance. He waved, trying to catch his attention. 

Thor finally looked up at him and smiled. He looked ecstatic, like this was his favorite thing in the world. Shaking hands, taking pictures, acting like the local celebrity. Honestly, he couldn’t find it himself to feel the slightest bit jealous of the amount of attention he was receiving. Instead he was proud. 

It took nearly 20 minutes for him to make through the crowd to where Steve and Bucky were waiting for him. Steve didn’t even have time to actually touch the ground before Thor grabbed him and, just like last week, swung him around in his arms. Steve laughed and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. 

As soon as he was actually allowed to stand on solid ground, he got up on his tip toes and kissed Thor’s cheek. Thor laughed and took his face in his hands and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“We won!” Thor rejoiced. “Steve, you must come to the celebration with me. You and Bucky! We will make merry all night!”

Steve’s smiled faltered. “Thor, I… I don’t know,” he said. 

“Come on!” Thor insisted. “It’s a night for celebration!”

“Um… what kind of celebration?”

Thor seemed to clue in to what was distressing him and cupped his face. “Or… we could do something else,” he said. “Coney Island, perhaps?”

“Thor if you want to go to a party, it’s fine,” Steve said. “You don’t have to spend every second of your free time with me.”

“It’s all right, älskling,” he said. “I want to spend time with you. It’s better than going to some party.”

Steve looked at Bucky, who raised his eyebrows. Steve took that as a sign of approval. 

“Coney Island, then,” he said with a grin. 

“Excellent!” he shouted. “Let us find Loki and Tony. We can’t have Bucky being the third wheel.”

“Yeah, I’ll just be the fifth wheel,” he said. 

“I don’t know,” Steve said. “You seemed to be getting along with them rather well earlier.”

Bucky chuckled knowingly at that. “Fair enough.”

“What am I missing?” Thor asked as they turned around to go looking for their companions.

“You’ll see,” Steve said.  


* * *

  
Coney Island was swamped with people. The weekend crowds were out in full force. The five of them stepped out of the car with Mr. Baker and up to the admissions booth. Bucky was alternating between flirting with Tony and Loki, much to Thor’s bewilderment. It apparently didn’t phase any of them.

“I didn’t see it coming either,” Steve said. “One minute we were hanging out, the next Loki and Bucky were wrestling and suddenly Bucky said ‘bite me.’”

Thor laughed at that. “One should never dare him to bite them unless they are absolutely sure that they are ready to tempt fate.”

It was absolutely not surprising to him that the first thing Thor wanted to do was go straight to the Cyclone in Luna Park. Tonight was to be a celebration/date, after all. What were amusement parks for if not one partner torturing one partner by making them go on the biggest rides they could find? To make matters worse, Bucky was absolutely on board with making Steve get on. 

“Have I mentioned that I’m absolutely terrified of heights?” Steve asked.

“No, _älskling,_ ” he replied with a chuckle. “But fear not, I shall protect you.”

“My hero,” Steve drawled.

“It will get better, I promise,” Thor replied. “Next we shall ride the Thunderbolt! It is even bigger than this one!”

“I can’t wait,” Steve drawled. “You know if this is because you’re upset about me not wanting to go to the party, there are kinder ways of getting revenge.”

Thor chuckled good-naturedly. “Would that not defeat the purpose of getting revenge on my lover, _älskling?_ ”

Steve smiled. “Your lover, am I?”

“Of course you are,” he said, cupping his face and pressing their foreheads together. “Does this offend?”

“No,” he whispered. “I like it. Lover.”

Thor rubbed their noses together. Steve closed his eyes and held the hand that was cupping his face. He took a breath in an effort to calm himself. It helped somewhat this time. The problem with anxiety was that it was rarely cooperative. 

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much time to calm down. They were next in line. His stomach felt like lead as Thor led him to the very front and Bucky pushed him along. 

“Lay back and close your eyes,” Bucky whispered. “It’ll help going down the hill.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “I still fuckin’ hate you both.”

“Language, punk,” he said, chuckling. “Look on the bright side, it’ll be over soon.”

“Oh Jesus Christ, fuck me,” he groaned. 

“My name is Thor,” his boyfriend replied. “But I can see how you would make that mistake. I do resemble him. And I’d be happy to.” Thor teasingly slid his hand down Steve’s back. Steve shivered. 

“You ass,” he said, blushing. Thor just chuckled. “I’m never letting you bring me to Coney Island again.”

The ride was absolute hell. Steve did as Bucky suggested, and it helped somewhat. He was pretty sure he still screamed like a girl. Thor, meanwhile kept his hands in the air almost the entire time until the very end. He was absolutely relieved when the ride pulled in. That is, until it sped out the other end again.

“NOOOO!” he cried. “FUCK ME!!”

“This really isn’t the time!” Thor replied, laughing.

“WE ARE SO DONE, THOR ODINSON!”

Thor just laughed and wrapped an arm around his waist. Steve gripped the handle bar in front of him like it was his lifeline. He managed to keep his eyes open this time as they approached the top. As they went over the edge, he immediately wished he hadn’t. They were so high up, he felt his stomach drop. Then the ground rushed towards them and he definitely screamed like a girl this time. When the ride pulled in to the beginning where new people were waiting for them, he practically jumped out of the car he and Thor were in and collapsed to the ground.

“Are you all right down there, _älskling?_ ” his wicked boyfriend asked. “We can go again if you are that distressed.”

“Don’t you dare,” Steve yelled up at him. Then he quieted. “But if you wouldn’t mind helping me up, I’d appreciate it.”

Thor laughed and helped him up to his feet. Steve leaned against him until he felt like his legs weren’t made of gelatin anymore. Thor, thankfully, chose to lead them to something a little less… terrifying for the next leg of the date. Cotton candy. Mr. Baker rolled his eyes, but made no comment. 

“Pink or blue?” Thor asked.

“Pink,” Steve answered immediately. 

“Excellent,” Thor said. 

Bucky stole his cotton candy from Loki and Tony. Steve and Thor sat down on a bench on their own. Thor held up a piece of cotton candy for him. Steve opened his mouth obediently and moaned as the candy melted in his mouth. It was one of those couples things that used to baffle him, but since he was with Thor, he could understand why people did it. He laughed at the way Thor’s face scrunched up when he popped a piece into his mouth. It was adorable and somehow the fact that someone like Thor could be adorable was… astonishing. 

It didn’t stop him from doing it again, though. Or from laughing again as his face contorted when the candy hit his tongue. Around them the hustle and bustle of Coney Park attendees faded into the background. The lights from the attractions illuminated the night. It was never really “dark” in New York City… but it was particularly bright here. Even so, the full moon could be seen clearly overhead.

Thor looked down at him, a soft smile on his lips. “Steve,” he said.

“Yeah?” he replied. Their faces were very close, he realized. Thor seemed gorgeous in this light, his golden hair caught the light from the flashing signs and lights on the attractions around them.

“I want to kiss you,” he whispered.

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. His tongue felt like a lead weight in his mouth.

“Why don’t you?” he whispered.

“Because you can always say ‘no’,” he replied. “Always.”

Steve’s heart swelled inside his chest. This, for some reason, was more liberating than anything he had done. More than realizing that he was gay, or realizing that he liked Thor, or even realizing that Thor liked him. 

Their faces were closer now. He could smell Thor’s cologne, feel the warmth of his breath ghosting over his lips.

“Yes,” he whispered. 

It wasn’t like how he imagined. Thor didn’t surge forward, capturing his lips with fiery passion. He closed the distance and pressed his lips to Steve’s. His stubble scratched against Steve’s skin in a way that Steve did not mind at all. His hand reached up to caress his face, before reaching back to run a hand through his hair. Steve returned the kiss eagerly. It was sweet. Literally. He could taste the cotton candy on Thor’s lips. Then, as soon as it began, it was over and Steve gasped for breath as they separated. Thor wasn’t grinning or acting smug and cocky. He gazed into Steve’s eyes with such tenderness. Then he kissed him again, but more chaste this time.

It wasn’t how he imagined. He didn’t take control. He wasn’t filled with passion. But as Thor’s lips met his again, Steve felt a warmth spread through his body. It made him smile against his boyfriend’s lips.

“Thank you,” Thor whispered.

“I think that’s my line,” Steve said, a bit breathless. Thor chuckled. Steve reached up and held a hand against his face. “Thank you for asking.”

“It was my pleasure,” he said. “Now, let us finish our… Wait.”

Steve looked down and noticed that their cotton candy was gone. All that was left was the stick. He looked up and saw Bucky smirking and nodding with approval as he popped what was left of their cotton candy into his mouth. Next to him, Loki held up what was left of his and Tony’s cotton candy in a salute. Mr. Baker, it seemed, was the only one who had had the decency to look elsewhere.

“I’m not kissing you again unless you get more cotton candy,” Steve said. 

Thor looked down at him with an expression Steve had never seen on him before. Hunger. It made him quiver with anticipation. 

“That can be arranged, _älskling,_ ” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About time, huh?
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, my loves! <3


	16. Adventures in Fondue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you... fondue? They do fondue. ;)

Thor awoke the next morning and immediately stretched out across his bed with a smile. Last night was glorious. The game was great, but then Coney Island happened. He freely admitted that seeing Steve be terrified of going on the roller coasters had been most amusing for him. Kissing Steve had not prevented him from making his lover go on the biggest rides afterwards, and Steve squirmed the whole time they spent in line every time. 

Kissing Steve. The thought made him hum with delight. He was clumsy at first (who wasn’t for their first kiss) but he learned quickly. The image of Steve’s kiss swollen lips came to mind and he chuckled appreciatively. It drove him wild to think that he was responsible for that. His swollen lips, his eyes dark with desire, his hands reaching up to run through his hair, pulling gently. The first time it happened it made him growl, which, to his delight, made Steve shiver against him. 

He felt himself stir at the thought. He looked down through the morning light and saw his erection straining against the fabric of his shorts. He glanced at the alarm clock at his bedside. It was early yet, for him. There was still time to… enjoy himself before he had to finish the last minute preparations.  


* * *

He came downstairs to the sight of Bucky sitting at the island in the kitchen. He murmured his greetings at him before he turned around and took a closer look. 

“You are here?” Thor asked. “You did not return with Steve?”

Bucky shook his head, nursing a cup of coffee. His neck was covered in hickies. Thor huffed a laugh at the sight. 

“Enjoy yourself, last night?” he asked. 

“I never kiss and tell, Thor,” he said with a sly grin. “But yes.”

Thor chuckled and poured himself a cup of coffee. He began to run through everything that needed to be done by tonight. He needed to ensure that everything was in place. If it was subpar he would never hear the end of it. He had a busy day ahead of him.

“Speaking of kissing,” Bucky said, grinning. “You and Stevie seemed to enjoy yourselves last night.”

“I did not hear any complaints from him,” Thor replied. He grinned in spite of himself. 

“I didn't hear any either,” he said. “But seriously, Thor, I'm glad that he's happy with you.”

“As am I.”

“So it goes without saying that if you ever hurt him…” Bucky trailed off.

“You'll what?” Thor asked, pumping himself up. “You could not even pin Loki. How would you expect to overcome me?”

Bucky grinned a sly grin. “I'll find a way,” he promised. “I didn't beat you at getting quarterback for three years for nothing, you know.”

“Why don't we see if you can back up those words, little man?”

Thor sat down across from him. He grinned and held up his hand with his elbow on the island. Bucky grinned as well and seized his hand in his. 

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

They strained at each other as they each tried to get the upper hand. Thor admitted that Bucky was stronger than he seemed. But he did not underestimate his foe for long. Sweat began to form on their brows. Soon though, he began to push Bucky's hand toward the table. His opponent put up an admirable fight. Then with a shout, Thor pinned his hand to the table beneath him. He laughed in triumph.

“Damn man,” Bucky said with awe. “You don't mess around, do you?” 

Thor laughed and shook his head. His response was drowned out by a new figure joining them.

“Aaaah!” his father shouted as he entered the room. He clapped his son on the shoulders. “My son! I hear that you led your school to glorious victory last night.”

“We fought well and triumphed, father,” Thor said, trying to keep the awkwardness of the encounter from his voice.

“Of course you did!” he crowed. “It is only to be expected”

He finally seemed to notice Bucky sitting at the island. He walked up to him and greeted him.

“I believe I remember you, my boy,” he said, embracing him. Bucky looked a bit like a deer in headlights but he returned the embrace. Thor wondered if Loki warned him about their family beforehand. As soon as they broke contact Odin noticed the hickies on Bucky’s neck and glanced towards his son.

_Oh gods no,_ he thought.

“You were the quarterback that led the team the past few years, are you not?” his father asked. 

Bucky nodded and ducked his head. He was probably trying to hide his bruises as thoroughly as possible. Thor didn't envy his friend. His father was not an easy person at the best of times. There was no knowing how he would react.

“No need to be shy, son,” Odin cried. “You're not the first rival my son has taken to his bed!”

Thor actually coughed up his coffee at that.

“Um… thanks?” 

“Think nothing of it,” Odin replied. “Son, your mother and I will be at a charity event most of the day. You boys behave yourselves.”

_This must be what mortification feels like,_ Thor thought to himself.

His father paused before he left the room to get ready. “I approve,” he whispered. “He seems like a fine man.”

_Baldr save me._ “Thank you, father,” he replied. His father's eye twinkled as he smiled. Thor waited until he heard the door to his father's room closed before he relaxed.

“That was fun,” Bucky remarked.

“You have strange ideas of what fun is,” Thor replied as he leaned against the island.

“He wasn't wrong, per se,” Bucky said. “His son did ‘take me into his bed,’ as he put it.” 

“Yes…” he replied. “Just the wrong son.” 

“Wait until you set him straight,” Bucky said, grinning. 

Thor groaned.  


* * *

Thor was immensely grateful that Bucky and Tony agreed to help him out. Tony apparently had a friend who was familiar with all the best rooftops in New York. The one he found was not a large roof, but for a small, romantic night in lieu of going to the dance, it was perfect. It came with a fantastic view of the city at night, Tony’s contact assured him. The three of them had finished carting the lights up to the top of the building. Tony installed the table, bolting it down to the roof so it wouldn't fly away. 

On one side there was a DJ station being set up. One of Tony's friends, a boy named Peter Parker, was helping to set up the system. He was apparently some genius whiz kid Tony had found in Queens and hired on as a “geek of all trades.” Whatever that meant. Today, apparently, it meant that he was helping to set up and run a sound system for a friend of a friend. He was also Tony’s contact who chose the location. How such a boy knew about the rooftops in New York, Thor had no idea.

“So, I don’t know if you know this,” Peter said in a shy, somewhat awkward manner, “but I’ve never actually done this whole, romantic, private, date-night thing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I can do it, but what are you looking for exactly?”

_It’s amazing how similar he is to Steve,_ Thor thought. “Have you ever been to a formal dating event?” he asked.

“Like a school dance?” he asked.

“Yes, like that.”

“Right, so some slow dance stuff to set the mood and everything.”

Thor clapped him on the shoulder. “Exactly, you will do fine.”

Peter rubbed his shoulder. “Jeez, dude!” he said. “You’re strong, like holy shit!”

_Okay, maybe not so much like Steve,_ he thought with amusement. He chuckled to himself. The entire roof was taken up, even though most of it was just for the mood lighting and creating the atmosphere. Tony had a couple guys installing the lights along the edge of the roof. They were designed to soft lights that could provide enough light to dance to. Thor had helped set up the pagoda in the center of the area where Tony was now. It too was secured to the surface so that the wind would not blow it over. 

By the time Bucky left to get ready for the Homecoming dance, everything was coming together. He stood under the pagoda and began to survey rooftop. The lights had been strung up overhead and they looked beautiful in the light of the setting sun, the sound system was up and running, and the pagoda did not fall on his head. All good signs. Mrs. Bianchi assured him that dinner was coming along on schedule, so there were no worries about that and Mr. Baker was leaving to fetch Steve soon.

Thor smiled. Everything was in order.

“Thor, what are you doing standing around?” Tony demanded. 

Thor looked down at him. “What?”

“Steve is going to be here soon,” Tony said slowly. “You need to freshen up and get ready. You know, shower, cologne, get dressed, jack off? Maybe not in that order, but whatever your routine is.”

Thor looked down at himself. He was wearing the same shirt and jeans that he’d thrown on that morning to help with the preparations. He dashed towards the door and ran inside. He practically knocked Mr. Baker over. He was holding a suit wrapped in plastic in his hands. 

“Forgive me, sir,” he said. “I took the liberty of selecting a suit for tonight’s dance. I hope it is to your liking.”

“Mr. Baker, remind me to ask father to give you a bonus,” he replied with a sigh of relief. 

“Of course, sir.” 

By the time Thor emerged from the changing room refreshed and ready for the evening, Mr. Baker had left to fetch Steve, Tony had left to get ready for his Homecoming dance with Loki, and everything was quiet. Thor could actually feel his heart hammering away in his chest. He was filled with trepidation. There was nothing to do but wait for Steve to arrive. He began to pace about the rooftop. The sun was nearly completely down, now. The city lights were all coming on and the rooftop was bathed in the soft glow of the golden lights strung above him. 

Out of a need to distract himself, he began to survey everything. Again. Or he started to, until Peter walked up to him.

“Nervous?” he asked. 

“Is it that obvious?” Thor replied.

“Hey, if I had gone this far and done this much for a little private dance,” Peter said. “I’d be nervous, too. He’s a lucky guy, this Steve.”

“No,” Thor corrected. Peter looked up at him with a confused expression on his face. “I am the one who is fortunate.”  


* * *

It was almost completely dark by the time Steve arrived at the place where Mr. Baker had said the date would take place. He was somewhat annoyed and somewhat grateful that his mother had had his suit dry cleaned. 

“You should look your best for tonight, Steve,” she’d insisted. Steve really had no idea what Thor could possibly have planned. But it wasn’t at his house, it wasn’t out at any establishment he knew of. They weren’t going out dancing or to any of the clubs or anything. Not dressed like he was, anyway. 

Mr. Baker led him to the elevator inside. Steve took a deep breath before he stepped inside. He remembered to do some breathing exercises. There was a time when elevators had been nearly impossible for him to step into. Which was unfortunate, since his appointments with Dr. Erskine were high up in an office building. Dr. Erskine had to come downstairs for months before Steve had been able to ride an elevator to his floor successfully. They still gave him trouble, but he was usually able to get to where he was going without any major issues.

They reached the top floor and Mr. Baker led him up a flight of stairs. 

_We’re heading to the roof,_ he realized. _Does this sort of thing happen outside of movies?_

Sure enough, when Mr. Baker opened the door for him, the sight took his breath away. Lights were strung up overhead. The entire roof was illuminated in their golden light. He could see the lights of the city around them. There decorative plants with flowers blossoming around the rooftop. He heard slow, soft, instrumental music playing before he spotted a sound system. A boy he didn’t recognize waved, then pointed elsewhere. Steve followed where he pointed and saw a huge wooden pagoda with a single table. And Thor, Thor was leaning against one of the pillars dressed in a simple, tailored black suit.

Steve’s mouth went dry as he saw him. _He looks… sexy,_ he realized. Easily as sexy as he imagined.

Thor smiled and walked towards him. Well, he didn’t so much walk so much as strut. Or maybe that was the suit. Maybe the suit just enhanced his natural confidence. 

_If that’s the case,_ Steve thought, _then I need my suit to give me a little bit._

“You look lovely, _älskling,_ ” he said, greeting him with a kiss. Steve hummed appreciatively as their lips touched. 

“Thanks… uh, you look… damn,” he whispered. 

Thor smiled and took his hand, leading them to the edge of the roof to look out over the city. 

“It’s beautiful,” Steve said. “You did all this? For me?”

“It is not much, but I am glad that you like it,” he replied. “And I had some help from Tony.”

Steve huffed in disbelief. “If this is your idea of ‘not much,’” he said. “I can’t imagine what it looks like when you go all out.”

“You will be the first to know,” Thor promised. Steve blushed. 

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat. “This may be premature, but you sure know how to wow a guy, Mr. Odinson.”

Thor smiled and leaned down on his elbows to look out over the city. The sun was near the horizon and bathed the city in a warm, crimson light. 

“I believe,” Thor said, “that tonight is a dancing night.” He stood and held out his hand to Steve. “Shall we?”

A waltz with some kind of string quartet or something started to play. Steve blushed but took his hand.

“Just so you know,” he said. “I don’t know how to dance.”

Thor just smiled. “We are high school students, Steve,” he said. “None of us know how to dance.” 

Steve doubted that was really true for Thor, but as his hand rested on his waist while his other hand held Steve’s, Thor began to sway softly with the music. And despite the fact that Steve had no idea what he was doing, he began to dance with him. It wasn’t anything fancy. The music was pretty but no matter how good it was, they just swayed in the last, fading light of the sunset. Steve didn’t notice. He never took his eyes off Thor and his gentle, smiling face. 

“I want to kiss you,” he whispered.

Thor smiled. “Why don’t you?”

“I want you to say yes,” he said. 

Thor leaned down next to his ear. Steve’s breath hitched. His heart was racing so fast in his chest that he thought it might burst. 

“Yes.”

Steve shivered when Thor’s warm breath caressed the shell of his ear and to his shock, he hummed with delight. Thor chuckled and Steve shivered again as his breath touched his ear once more. _He’s doing this to me on purpose, now,_ he realized. 

“Jerk,” he breathed. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Thor whispered. Again, Steve shivered, even though he saw it coming this time. 

“I hate you,” he grumbled. 

“Does that mean I will not get a kiss?” Thor asked, pulling away. He looked like he was trying to pout, but the smile made it impossible. 

Steve stood up and brushed his lips across his boyfriend’s. Thor returned the kiss and, to his surprise, bit his bottom lip gently. Steve gasped and moaned all at once. His boyfriend stopped swaying and wrapped his other arm around him. Steve wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck as they continued kissing, the music fading into the background. He relished in the feeling of his stubble brushing against his skin and the hard, gentle strength of the arms holding him. He clutched a handful of his boyfriend’s hair and pulled gently. To his shock, Thor moaned into his mouth. 

“Do that again,” his boyfriend whispered. “Please.”

_So he likes his hair being messed with,_ Steve thought with interest. He filed that information away to use later. For now he twisted his hands through his boyfriend’s locks and tugged. Thor moaned again as he kissed him. His hair was so soft. Like silk. And it was thick, too. Steve smiled and began to run his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. Thor purred and came up for air. Steve opened his eyes and gasped for breath. Thor was looking down at him, his eyes dark as he panted. Steve bit his lip. It was tender and a bit swollen from the kissing. Thor’s eyes drifted down to look at his lips again.

Someone cleared their throat and snapped them out of their reverie. They turned. It was Mrs. Bianchi, Steve realized. He’d only seen her once, the first time he had visited Thor’s home. He couldn’t remember interacting with her at all. She was a short woman with olive skin and warm, dark eyes. She looked as though she had walked in on something private. Steve blushed as he realized that she had at least seen the last part of their making out session. 

“Master Odinson,” she said with a low, melodic voice. “Dinner is served.”

Thor was the first to recover his wits. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Bianchi,” he said.

Thor led him over to the table under the pagoda and, to Steve's surprise, held the chair out for him. Steve smiled as he sat down. Thor sat across from him. 

“I suppose you figured out the romantic dinner as well?” Steve asked. Thor smiled. “Is there anything you can't do?”

“I cannot sing well,” Thor said, grinning.

“Really?” Steve drawled. “I hadn't noticed.”

“Would you like a demonstration?” he asked.

“I'm good, thanks.”

They laughed at that. Mrs. Bianchi presented a pot of steaming, melted cheese, a handful of elongated prongs, and plates of shrimp, lightly roasted vegetables, and breads. Steve picked up a prong in fascination and watched as Thor speared a piece of shrimp and dipped it in the cheese. 

“What is this?” Steve asked with wonder.

“Fondue,” he answered. “You have never had it?”

“I’ve never even heard of it,” he admitted.

“Truly? Fascinating,” Thor remarked.

“So is this like the appetizer?” Steve asked. 

“It is the appetizer, the entree, and the dessert,” Thor answered. “Though I suspect that the dessert will have chocolate fondue rather than cheese.”

“Are you going to put a chocolate covered strawberry in my mouth and kiss me?” Steve asked, smiling. 

His boyfriend smiled, a dark, interested glint flashing in his eyes. “Would it work?”

“It might,” Steve replied, blushing. 

“Then I’m sure it can be arranged,” he purred. “But for now, cheese fondue.”

Steve chuckled at the way Thor’s face lit up. He decided to just go for it, stabbed a mushroom, and emulated Thor by plunging it beneath the gooey, cheesy surface. When he popped it into his mouth, it exploded in a burst of flavor. Steve moaned. 

“That is delicious,” Steve declared. He went for the bowl of assorted breads and grabbed another prong. Thor currently had three in the pot. 

“I am glad you like it,” Thor said. “I will make sure Mrs. Bianchi receives the compliment.”

True to his word, the fondue did turn out to be an entire meal. At some point Mrs. Bianchi brought out a plate of additional assorted meats and other food to dip into the cheese. Thor was definitely a meat lover, Steve realized. He did eat some vegetables, but most of what he liked were the meats. Steve couldn’t blame him. He was a bit of a carnivore, himself, which tended to surprise most people who met him. Some assumed that he was a vegetarian because of his size. 

At some point, the cheese bowl disappeared and it was replaced with a bowl of chocolate and the plates of meat and vegetables and breads were replaced with fruit, sponge cake, and sweet breads. 

“I don’t know if I have room for more food,” Steve groaned. 

“There is always room for chocolate,” Thor declared. He picked up his chair and brought it around to sit next to Steve. “Besides, I believe there was some mention of kissing and strawberries?”

Steve grinned. “I suppose there’s some room after all, then.”

Thor speared a strawberry and dipped it into the chocolate. When he brought it out, the chocolate cooled quickly, forming a smooth layer on the surface. He put it in his mouth and wagged his eyebrows as he looked at Steve. Steve laughed and leaned towards him. When the strawberry neared his mouth he opened and took a bite. Thor’s lips touched his and the sensation of being kissed while the dark chocolate melted in his mouth was… fantastic, if a bit awkward at first. Thor hummed against him and cupped his face as he deepened the kiss. Steve moaned again. Thor’s mouth tasted like the same strawberry and chocolate in his mouth. It was intoxicating. He sighed when they separated. 

“That was probably the tastiest strawberry I’ve ever had,” Steve whispered. 

“‘Probably?’” Thor echoed.

“I might need to try it again,” Steve teased. “Just to be sure.”

Thor chuckled. “I think it’s your turn, _älskling,_ ” he said, holding up another strawberry. Steve speared the fruit and repeated the process. Thor took his face in his hands, stroking his face with his thumbs and helped himself to the strawberry Steve held in his mouth. This time Steve was the one to deepen the kiss and Thor opened his mouth to yield to him. Steve wove his fingers through his hair and his boyfriend purred again. 

“That,” Thor said when they were done, “was my favorite strawberry.”

Steve felt flushed. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He was terrified his voice would betray him and crack if he tried to respond. His breath seemed to escape him. Thor, for all his confidence and savvy, was also flushed and breathing heavily. 

He did, however, allow one of his hands to leave his boyfriend’s flowing locks. It trailed down the side of his face, down his neck, and came to rest in the center of his chest. He could feel Thor’s heart racing. 

“We should finish the desert,” Thor whispered. 

Steve looked into his eyes. “I’m not hungry anymore,” he said. 

Thor looked at him, confused. Steve took one of his hands and stood. He led them back to the small dance floor where Thor’s hands assumed the position that they had been in earlier. Peter struck up some slow dance music and they began to sway again. Thor led again, insofar as leading meant anything when they were just swaying to the music.

They danced, or swayed, for hours, never saying a word. Overhead the light of the city and the full moon shone down on them. At some point Steve began to rest his head on Thor’s shoulder. Thor kissed the top of his head and kept swaying, guiding him along the steps, the sounds of the streets below them, the music, and the rhythm of Thor’s heartbeat mingled together in an urban waltz. Time seemed to stop. They might have spent hours together. It might have been a few minutes. Who knew?

Then someone cleared their throat again. Steve looked up as Thor stopped swaying. Bucky was standing awkwardly by the door. 

“What is it?” Thor asked. Steve could hear the annoyance dripping from his voice. He didn’t blame him. Bucky had bad timing this time.

“I’m here to crown the Homecoming King,” Bucky announced. Steve blinked. 

“Huh?”

“Thor was voted in as Homecoming King tonight,” Bucky said. Steve looked down at his hands and saw that he was holding the ridiculous, poofy crown that they put on the Homecoming King’s head. In keeping with the school colors, it was blue with white trimming and probably just some cheap bauble. But it seemed to matter to the popular kids at school. 

“Oh,” Thor replied. He still seemed a bit annoyed though. Was being voted Homecoming King that important?

“Anyway, sorry to interrupt you,” he said. “But the administration asked me to track you down and give it to you.”

Steve loved his friend. He really did. But right now he was really trying not to tell him off. He tried with some difficulty to do a mindfulness exercise. It was really hard to not be pissed off at his friend. 

“Buck, I get it, the whole thing is important to someone,” he said, “But couldn't this have waited?”

“I thought the two of you would be happy to hear it,” Bucky said with a frown.

“Thank you for letting me know,” Thor said formally.

“Right, no problem,” Bucky said. He turned on his heel and walked back to the door. 

“Bucky,” Steve called after him. He turned around. “Let's hang out tomorrow before you head back to college.”

Bucky actually smiled. “Yeah, let's do that. Meet you there at noon?”

“Of course.”

He waved goodbye and headed out. Steve sighed and turned his attention back to his boyfriend. 

“That was bad,” he remarked. “I'm sorry about him.”

“You need not apologize, Steve,” he replied. “It is not your fault. I am perturbed, though, that he didn't think to wait.”

“He has to go back tomorrow,” Steve mused. “He was probably worried that he wouldn't have time.”

“Yet you will see him tomorrow before he leaves,” Thor said. “There would have been time.”

“I'm meeting him at the station at noon, Thor,” Steve countered. “It's not like we're spending the day together.”

“I apologize,” he said with a sigh. “I am… not myself. Do you want to keep dancing?”

Steve thought for a moment. The mood had been ruined by Bucky's entry. Then a thought occurred to him. He wound his arms around Thor's neck. 

“No but,” he said, “we could take the fondue. Go back to your place and… pick up where we left off?”

Thor's eyes got that interested glint he'd had earlier. Steve decided he liked that look.

“I cannot wait, _älskling,_ ” he purred.  


* * *

Thor's couch was really comfortable. Good lumbar support. It was probably the best couch Steve ever made out on. Being the only couch where that happened was a bit of a coincidence. They had just gotten back, with Thor assuring him that a crew would take down what he'd put up in the morning. Thor hadn't even waited for Mrs. Bianchi to warm the fondue back up. Of course, Steve had welcomed it.

“Thor,” he moaned into his mouth. “Thor I need to breathe.”

“Then breathe,” Thor whispered against the shell of his ear. Steve shivered and arched up off the couch as Thor began to kiss down the side of his face. And then Steve whined as Thor began to suck on his neck. 

“Jesus Christ,” he hissed. Thor chuckled. Steve raised a hand and tangled it in Thor's hair and pulled slightly as Thor sucked on his apparently sensitive flesh. He felt him purr against him.

“Does that really feel good?” Steve asked. He couldn't imagine why it would.

“It feels great to me,” Thor replied coming off him. “Do you want to know what it feels like?”

“Yes.”

Thor descended on his lips again. Steve yielded, Thor's tongue entering his mouth and exploring the quickly familiarizing terrain. Steve kept his hand in Thor's hair and shivered in anticipation as he felt Thor's hand move from his face to the back of his head. 

Then he felt the tug. His head was tilted back, granting access to his neck and his boyfriend descended on it. It hurt. It felt amazing. Steve whined at the pain and pleasure that assaulted his senses. Thor mad his way down his neck pausing to nip and suck at times. When he reached the jugular Steve let loose a particularly loud whine.

Someone cleared their throat. They looked up. It was Mrs. Bianchi. If she was bothered at all by their antics, this time she gave no sign of it. 

“Your fondue, sirs,” she said, setting it on the table. “Try not to mess up the couch.”

“We'll try, ma'am,” Steve said, blushing furiously. She smiled and saw herself out.

Thor got up and picked up a prong. “Strawberry? Or something else?”

Steve looked at the tray of fruit and sponge cake. “Is that pineapple?”

“It is.”

“I want some pineapple.”  


* * *

Mrs. Bianchi returned to the kitchen. She needed to sit down while she had the chance. At her age she couldn't be on her feet all day and she learned long ago that in this business you took your downtime when it presented itself.

“Are the lovebirds still at it?” Mr. Baker asked.

“ _Sí,_ ” she confirmed. “Ah to be young and in love again.”

“Indeed,” he said, sipping his tea. She poured herself another pot of coffee. “They seem a good match.”

She hummed in agreement.

“What's the pot at, now?” he asked.

“€150,” she said. “Madam Frigga put €40 on the Christmas holidays.”

“Daring woman,” he commented. 

“Master Loki put down €40 for over Valentine's Day.”

Mr. Baker chuckled. “That boy would have us believe that he's cold and calculating. He's such a softie.”

Mrs. Bianchi chuckled in agreement as she sat down at the little table for the staff.

“How do you feel about a private wager?” she asked. “Say, €30?”

“On what?” he asked taking out his wallet. 

“If Master Thor makes it to… how do the Americans say?” she asked. “Second place?”

“Second base,” he supplied. “And I'll take that bet. Master Rogers seems a bit shy for it to happen just yet.”

“That boy has the heart of a lion,” she argued. Mr. Baker chuckled and nodded his head.

“I wonder when we'll hear him roar,” he mused.  


* * *

He sat with his legs draped over Thor's on the couch in the living room. His neck was surely covered in hickeys, though he definitely gave as good as he got. He peaked at Thor's neck. It was, indeed, also covered in hickeys. He found he did not enjoy having his hair pulled as much as his boyfriend, but he did love both being marked by Thor and marking him in return. Thankfully, Thor seemed not to mind _being_ marked.

His chest heaved as he caught his breath. He lay his head on his boyfriend's chest, feeling his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath as well. His felt his heart racing beneath his shirt. One of Thor's arms was wrapped around his shoulders while the other was resting on his thighs. 

“ _Älskling,_ ” he breathed. “You are insatiable.”

“I'm insatiable?” Steve huffed. “You barely stopped long enough to eat the fondue.”

His boyfriend chuckled above him. Steve smiled at the feeling, like rolling thunder. 

“ _Älskling,_ ” he whispered.

Steve's heart warmed at the pet name. “Yes?”

“May I take off your shirt?” he asked.

Steve stilled. He couldn't help but compare himself to Thor. He was big and muscled and defined and Steve… Steve was scrawny. Skinny. Small. He liked how Thor made him feel small, but… he was afraid.

_He's going to hate me,_ he thought. _I don't have abs or muscle or anything. And then there's the... He's not going to think I’m attractive or cute or anything when he sees me and it’s all going to crash and burn._

“Breathe, Steve,” Thor said, interrupting his destructive train of thought. “Are you all right?”

“I’m… fine,” he said. 

Thor hummed. “What is on your mind?”

“It’s nothing,” he said. Thor rose his eyebrow, like he knew he was bullshitting him. “I’m…”

He couldn’t finish it.

“Take your time,” Thor whispered. He rubbed his thigh in what Steve figured was supposed to be soothing. He wasn’t sure if it worked, but it did help distract him from his thoughts. He took a deep, fortifying breath.

“I’m scared,” he confessed. 

“What are you afraid of?”

Steve gulped. “That you won’t think I’m attractive when you… see what I look like.”

Thor regarded him for a moment. Steve decided to keep talking before he came to his senses and shut up before he said something way too incriminating.

“And I’m scared because… I really, really like you, Thor,” he said. “And I don’t want you to leave because you don’t like what you see. And part of me knows that it’s all irrational, but God sometimes I don’t know how to make it shut up!”

Thor was silent. He was rubbing soothing circles onto Steve’s back as he listened. Steve breathed again. He hated when the anxiety was so prevalent in his mind. Like clatter that wouldn’t leave him alone.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “That must have sounded really clingy and ridiculous.”

Thor looked at him for a moment longer. “Do you know what I think when I look at you?”

Steve blinked. _That’s unexpected._ He shook his head. 

“I think that your eyes shine like stars,” Thor whispered. “I look at your lips and I cannot help but want to kiss them every time or to feel them against my skin.”

Steve blushed and held his hands up to cover his face. Then he felt Thor’s hands gently lift them away. “I think that you look beautiful when you blush and sometimes I tease you just to see your face get red.”

Steve huffed. “Ass.”

His boyfriend smiled. “Speaking of which, I think that your ass looks amazing, especially in jeans,” he whispered. “And I love the way your body feels against mine.

“I think you are powerful, Steve,” he whispered. “You are easily the strongest man I’ve ever dated.”

Steve’s shoulders shook and he cried. Thor held him against his body and kissed the top of his head. He didn’t feel strong. He felt afraid a lot of the time, convinced that the people around him, even Bucky, didn’t really like him at all. 

Thor wiped his tears away when he looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Never apologize for tears, Steve,” he whispered. “There is no shame in them.”

Steve sighed. “I feel really tired, now,” he said. “But I don’t want to leave.”

“You don’t have to,” Thor replied. “We have a spare room. Though you may want to let your mother know so you do not get in trouble again.”

Steve chuckled at the memory of their day playing hookie. It was easier to laugh at the further away it seemed. He quickly got his phone out and saw that his mom had sent him a text asking when he’d be home. He replied that he was invited to stay with Thor. A few minutes later her reply came.

_Make good choices, dear! And remember to be courteous!_

He blushed at her implication. But considering that he hadn’t even been able to take his shirt off in front of Thor, he doubted there would be any chance to make such choices, good or bad. That didn’t stop him from wondering, though. 

When he was done he returned to the couch and lay his head back against Thor’s chest. Thor draped an arm across his shoulders and down the front of his body in that way that made Steve feel safe. He looked up idly at his boyfriend. 

“What is it?” Thor asked.

“You have hickies,” Steve said. He reached up to trace over them with a finger. Thor hummed.

“You really are insatiable, _älskling,_ ” he said. Steve laughed at it.

“It’s just that I…” Steve said. “I really like seeing you like this.”

Thor offered him a quizzical look but didn’t say anything. Steve kept tracing the marks he left with his finger. 

“What is going on here?!” someone shouted. The two of them jumped at the sudden intrusion. The latest in a series of such events that night. 

_Can we not have a moment to ourselves?_ Steve wondered. He turned towards the source of the shout. His heart leaped into his throat. It was Thor’s father, Odin. 

“Son, what is the meaning of this?” he demanded. “Why is this… boy here? And why are you dishonoring your lover by fraternizing with this… this punk?!”

Steve suddenly felt the urge to slink as far into the couch cushions as he could. It was honestly terrifying to be in the same room as Odin. Unfortunately, Thor had decided that this was a great time to tighten his grip on him. 

“Steve is my lover,” Thor said.

“What about that other boy? Bucky?” Odin demanded. “You mean to tell me that what I saw this morning wasn’t because you are dating?”

_What the actual fuck is going on?_ Steve wondered in a panic. 

“Bucky was here as a... guest of Loki,” Thor said. “And I doubt there will be anything more between them.”

Odin sneered down his nose at Steve, his one eye making him look all the more menacing. 

“I want him out,” Odin declared. “He cannot stay here.”

“He can, actually,” came another voice. It was Frigga. And she looked for all the world like Hell frozen over. “I told Steve weeks ago that he was free to stay here any time he likes.”

“And I just offered him the spare room for the night,” Thor added. 

“He cannot stay here!” Odin protested.

“Will you dishonor us, then?” Frigga asked. “Will you take a man who was welcomed as a guest and refuse him hospitality?”

Steve suddenly realized that this scene reminded him very much of something that passed between his mother and Joe years ago. Though Joe was almost always drunk. His heart rate began to race. He knew what was about to happen. They would come to blows. Frigga would get hurt. _Steve_ would get hurt. That's what happened with people fought.

Then, Odin sighed. “Fine.”

_Wait… what just happened?_ he wondered.

“Steve… Rogers, is it?” Odin said, still scowling at him. “Be welcome in our home. But I will have you know that I do not approve of your relationship with my son.”

“Thank you,” Steve replied. “But I don’t need your approval.”

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,_ he thought. That last part was not planned in the slightest. Thor and Frigga both raised their eyebrows as they looked between him and the towering, dominating figure that was Odin.

Odin grunted. “At least you have spirit, if nothing else.”

He turned and practically stomped off to another part of the house.

“That was… bracing,” Steve remarked as he left. “And terrifying.”

“Steve,” Frigga said, coming over and sweeping him up in a hug. “You have a warrior’s spirit.”

“Thanks?” he replied, utterly confused.

She released him and pride shown in her eyes as she looked down at him. 

“Now, let me get the room prepared,” she said. “And I will have Mr. Baker find you some suitable clothes for you to sleep in and a change of clothes in the morning.”

“Actually, I think I will sleep with Thor,” Steve said. Frigga’s eyebrows rose and mischief, the same mischief that danced in Loki’s eyes, appeared in hers. “Just sleep.”

“Of course,” she replied. “Now, I will bid you goodnight. It has been a long day.”

When she had gone, Thor laid a hand on his. “I am, of course, pleased that you will share my bed, _älskling,_ ” he said. “But do not think that you have to do anything which would make you uncomfortable.”

“I just want to sleep, if it’s all the same to you,” Steve replied. 

“Of course, but why the change in heart?” he asked.

“You make me feel safe,” Steve said, swallowing. Thor leaned down and kissed him softly on his temple.

“Thank you, Steve,” he said. “That is high praise. And it is my honor to do so.”

Steve smiled and got up. As much as he wanted to stay in Thor’s arms, he had no more energy to do anything but sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Odin ruins everything. Kudos and comments make it better, though. ;)


	17. Scars of the Past

The first thing Steve noticed when he came to was that he was really, really comfortable. This bed was much softer than his own. It was like he was sleeping on a cloud. He didn’t even remember falling asleep, really. He lay down and the next thing he knew he was dreaming. He couldn’t remember what about, for once. He just knew that there was Thor wearing a cape, sexy, form-fitting armor, and swinging some hammer that allowed him to fly. He also had lightning powers, which was weird.

The second thing he noticed was that there was something heavy on his chest. He opened his eyes and saw Thor, his boyfriend resting his head on his chest. He had also wrapped his arms around him, so Steve was trapped underneath him. But for some reason, he couldn’t find it in himself to care… until he noticed through his sleep-addled mind, that Thor was shirtless.

_Think pure thoughts, Stevie!_ he thought quickly. _Rainbows. Unicorns. Cotton candy--_

And just like that he was thinking about the first time he kissed his boyfriend at Coney Island, and the… fondue kissing they had done last night and his thoughts were anything but pure. He really didn’t need a boner to pop up while his boyfriend was sleeping on top of him. Well, if they had actually gone that far in their relationship it wouldn’t be a problem, but just thinking about… _that_ … with Thor in such close proximity terrified him. 

_I need to distract myself,_ he thought. But considering that he was held captive by Thor’s arms, that essentially meant one thing. So he brought up a hand to Thor’s head and started to pet the long, silky, tangling strands. It was amusing to see how unkempt his hair became at night. He always seem so… well-groomed. Steve sort of assumed he just woke up like that. 

Thor hummed in his sleep and nuzzled Steve’s chest. Steve chuckled to himself as he felt the vibrations against his chest. He continued to run his hand through Thor’s hair… and then he reached the end and his fingers felt Thor’s back. His breathing hitched.

Could he touch Thor? Could he… feel his boyfriend? He was… warm. He was a hotbox, actually. Steve wondered why he bothered with blankets, the guy probably never got cold. Steve certainly felt like they were overkill at this point. His skin had a natural, healthy glow like he spent a lot of time in the sun. Not angry and red like some. Thor’s complexion looked like he belonged in the sun. 

Someone knocked on the door. 

“Master Rogers?” It was Mr. Baker. “It is 10:00, sir. We must get going soon if we are to meet Mr. Barnes at the station.”

Steve sighed. “Thank you, I’ll be ready soon.”

“Very good, sir.”

Thor sighed and nuzzled him again. “Do you have to get up?”

“Yeah, babe, I promised Bucky I’d see him off,” Steve replied with a yawn.

Thor moved his face up to kiss his neck. “Do you have to get up _now?_ ” he whispered into his ear.

Steve shivered. _Get up, you fool!_ he shouted at himself. But Thor was kissing him and his powerful, muscled body was right there in front of him and he couldn’t think straight. Steve gasped as he felt Thor descend once more onto his neck to kiss and suck at his tender flesh. Steve had enough presence of him to lay a hand against Thor’s chest and pushed him back gently.

“No, Thor, I can’t,” he said. Thor fell back onto the bed but made no further comment. Now a new problem presented itself. Steve could his boyfriend’s chiseled physique. It was right there in front of him, relaxed and beautiful and… there! Thor chuckled and Steve realized that he had been staring at him.

“See something you like, _älskling?_ ” he teased.

“Hooot. I mean-- fuck, no-- I mean yes,” Steve stammered. Thor began laughing uncontrollably. Steve decided to make a tactical retreat. He leaped off the bed, grabbed the clothes on the dresser Mr. Baker had laid out for him, and ran across the room and out the door. In retrospect, he probably could have just used the bathroom that was connected to Thor’s bedroom, but in his bid to retreat, he had simply ran out the nearest door. 

“Make good choices!” Thor called after him, howling with laughter. Steve ducked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. It was then that he looked down and noticed that, against his better judgment, he was sporting a boner. He felt his entire body flush with mortification. Did Thor see it? Is that why he said “make good choices” when he left the room? What was he thinking?

Steve tried, with some difficulty, to put it from his mind. He needed to get ready soon if he was going to be able to meet Bucky at the station on time. He put the clothes down and noticed a handwritten note on the top.

_The underwear is new, don’t worry_ \-- Frigga

“Thank God,” he muttered.

He looked at the shower. It was easily half again, maybe even twice the size of his bathroom at home. Or it seemed that way to him, anyway. It was all a warm, beige color and all tile whereas most of the floors in Steve’s home were one brand or another of cheap linoleum. There were shower heads at either end of it, a bench on the inside wall, another nozzle on the wall that he could remove to reach those… hard to reach places.

Steve quickly stripped out of his borrowed pajamas. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. He looked at himself, a small, scrawny kid. His eyes ran over the bundle of ugly, jagged scars on the right side of his chest over his collarbone. He raised a hand to wander over them. They almost seemed like from another life, now. His hand wandered over to another bundle of scars on his side near his rib cage. Reminders. Echoes he’d never be rid of. Lingering reminders of old pains and old fear.

Without another thought for them, he jumped into the shower and turned the water up to its highest setting. And immediately jumped back when it reached truly scalding temperatures. 

“Why does he need the water to be so hot?” Steve wondered aloud. “Though it would explain some things. Like the guy being an actual hot box.”

He washed quickly and didn’t miss the fact that he was using his boyfriend’s product. He smiled as he smelled the familiar scent of smoke and pine that was uniquely Thor. The smell went straight to his dick. Steve hummed at the sensation of the hot water flowing down his body and over his erection. The image of Thor’s naked, relaxed body sprang immediately to mind. He moaned softly as he began to stroke himself.

_Two birds with one stone, right?_ he thought.  


* * *

Steve emerged from the shower dressed and ready to go. He practically ran into Thor on his way out. Who was still shirtless and apparently without shame. 

“Going somewhere?” he asked with a grin.

“H-hey, Thor,” he stammered, trying very, very hard to look at Thor’s face rather than his… chest. Or his arms. Or his abs.. “Y-yeah, I need to h-head out. See Bucky off.”

Thor hummed. “I will see you tomorrow, then,” he said. He brought Steve’s hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it.

Steve blushed. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Give Bucky my regards,” he said, smiling, before he turned to step into the bathroom himself.

Steve rushed down the stairs, eager not to waste any more time. Bucky would kill him if he was late.  


* * *

“So who wins?” Mr. Baker asked. “Young Master Rogers slept in his bed, but he was clothed. They didn’t seem to make it past first.”

“I win, of course,” Mrs. Bianchi declared. “They may not have gone that far, but they slept in the same bed. That’s the equivalent of second base, if you ask me!”

“Just admit defeat and give me the money, Alessia,” Mr. Baker. “You can have your chance to win next time.”

She relented with a sigh and took out her money, throwing it on the table. Mr. Baker smiled as he leafed through the money and stuffed it in his wallet. 

“It was a pleasure doing business with you, Alessia,” he said.

“Oh, get over yourself, Bertie,” she grumbled.  


* * *

Steve got the feeling that Mr. Baker was feeling smug about something as they pulled into a parking space near the train station but couldn’t put his finger on why. He didn’t pay it any mind though as he jumped out of the car and ran down the steps to see Bucky. His friend grinned as he approached and grabbed him in a fierce hug like when they had met again a couple days ago.

“You’re here,” Bucky cried. “I was worried you wouldn’t show!”

“Why? Because of that little incident last night?” Steve asked, punching his arm. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Barnes.”

Bucky chuckled at that. “You look like you enjoyed the rest of the evening with Thor,” he said, gesturing to Steve’s hickies. “Your neck took a bit of a beating.”

Steve flushed. “You should see the other guy.”

“Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!” Bucky crowed. “You’re growing up so fast! I’m so proud.”

“You know what the most awkward part of the whole thing was?” Steve replied.

“What?”

“Getting caught by Odin,” Steve said.

“Shut up!” Bucky cried. “Oh my God, come on you have to tell me all about that!”

Steve told him the whole story over lunch in one of the fast food places at the station. It was strange, and oddly comforting, to be eating plain old fast food burgers and fries after eating fancy rich food for the past couple days. Bucky was laughing uncontrollably by the time Steve had finished his story. 

“I wish I had been there to see his face,” Bucky said. “Still, I don’t envy you, buddy. Having Odin on your bad side sounds rough. At least Thor and Frigga have your back, though.”

“Yeah, it’ll be interesting, that’s for sure,” Steve mused. “What about you? What are you gonna do about Natasha when you get back?”

Bucky chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t know, man,” he said. There was a strange look in his eye as he regarded Steve. “I think I might have just screwed up. Maybe I’ll just call it quits and move on.”

“Come on, Buck,” Steve said. “You can’t give up before you try.”

“But what if she says no?”

“What if she says yes?” Steve countered. 

Bucky was silent at that. Steve couldn’t pretend he knew what he was going through. He was, after all, in a relationship with the first person who he’d really fancied. It was completely different than trying to ask someone out who may or may not be interested at all. Still, it was similar enough. 

All too soon, however, Bucky’s train came close to its arrival time in the station and he had to leave. They embraced again as they said their goodbyes. Somehow it seemed both worse and better than when he had left before. Before, Steve was losing his only friend and facing a year of school on his own. Now, he had Thor. And he had friends in Loki and Tony. Somehow his support system had grown exponentially. And yet, just as everything in his life seemed to be getting better, his friend wasn’t going to be there to be part of it. There was a twinge of pain and regret, but Steve tried not to let it bother him.

“Let me know how your relationship with Thor goes,” Bucky said as they hugged. 

“I will,” Steve promised. “And you be sure to let me know how things go with Natasha.”

“All right all right, you old lady,” Bucky chuckled. He grabbed his bag and headed towards the terminal. 

Steve was left feeling melancholic as he watched him go. Mr. Baker, in an unusual display of affection, rested a gentle hand on Steve’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything and Steve didn’t ask him. He appreciated the gesture, though. 

“We can leave whenever you’re ready, sir.”

Steve gave it another couple minutes before he consented to be taken home. Thor was right. They had a lot to get done by tomorrow. When he returned home with his suit in his bag, he found his mom waiting for him on the couch. 

“How was your night?” she asked. 

“It was great,” Steve replied. “You ever heard of fondue?”

“The cheese or the chocolate?”

“Both,” Steve said. He explained how Thor had rented a rooftop in the city, how they had danced until the fondue dinner was ready, and then kept dancing until they went back to his place. He conveniently left out the part about what they did with the chocolate fondue, though. That wasn’t really something he felt like sharing with his mother. 

“You made good choices, I trust?” she asked. Steve stared at her for a moment until he caught her meaning.

“Mom! No! I mean yes, I made good choices, we just,” he stammered, his face heating up and again he wished privately that he didn’t have such a fair complexion. “Nothing like that happened.”

“Okay, good just making sure,” she said, her face the same shade of scarlett that he imagined his face must be. 

“Now if you don’t mind,” Steve said, grabbing his backpack from beside the door. “I have some homework to finish by tomorrow.”

She waved him away, surely eager to end the conversation. When he got back he checked his phone. In addition to some other notifications from Facebook and his email, he had one text from his boyfriend.

_I hope your farewells went well :)_

Steve smiled. _They did, thanks for asking._

He put the phone away before he could become distracted by his caring boyfriend and got to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all. 
> 
> Also, I anticipate being finished with this story by the end of the month/early May at the latest. So by then I should be able to have a definitive chapter count. Probably around 60, since I'm on chapter 48 currently.


	18. Dashing Heroics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: sexuality slurs, homophobia

“Did you hear we have a new theater director?” Tony asked as he rushed up towards them.

“Finally,” Loki said. “I hope he has some ideas already. I am already displeased to have not been in rehearsal at all this year.”

Thor could not follow it. He understood theater, of course. He incorporated more than his fair share of drama and grandstanding when he was on the field or trying to fire up a crowd, but that was as far as his skill in the theatrical arts went. Loki, however, Loki practically salivated at the thought of being on stage. He was apparently one of those lucky few who was born without any inherent sense of stage fright.

“I’m hoping for a musical or something,” Tony said. “Something lively.”

“Musicals are nice, I suppose,” his brother countered. “I’m hoping for something more classy. Like Shakespeare.”

Thor laughed as Tony made a snoring sound. Steve snickered beside him. It had been over a week since the Homecoming and whatever love bites had marked his skin had long since faded. It was worse for Steve. He had to wear long sleeve t-shirts with hoods for the first couple days after to conceal the fact that he had them. Thankfully the weather was starting to cool, though not as much as he might wish for. 

They were busy studying for their physics test. Considering the last test had been much more difficult than either of them had anticipated, they had been sure to spend the entire weekend studying. Which was a shame, all things considered. But Steve, like Thor, took his studies seriously. It did not mean that they refrained from doing anything as a couple, but they did less than he would have preferred. Snogging to a movie was much more fun than studying momentum, after all. 

Thor looked up, they had about 10 minutes until class started. He put his books and notes in his bag. He would take them out to study again during lunch. Next to him, Steve also put his things away. They started this little ritual last week. It was difficult to get privacy sometimes, so they took what they could get during the week. 

“Do you feel ready?” he asked as they walked towards Steve’s classroom.

“Yeah, a bit,” Steve replied. “Still a bit nervous, though.”

“You will do fine, _älskling._ We both will,” he replied, squeezing his hand. Steve squeezed back. 

“There you two are,” said a new voice from behind them. Thor turned. It was some of his teammates. The sort who were similar to Hodge, but did not seem to run in the same circles. Mean, petty men who were only on the team because the game was the only thing they were decent at. He placed himself between them and Steve. 

“What do you want?” he demanded. 

“That’s rather hostile of you, Odinson,” their ringleader jeered. He was on the team, but usually benched as a backup in case someone on the defensive line was seriously injured. _Brown,_ Thor remembered after a moment. _Anson Brown._ He was a short, stocky man with pocketed acne scars on his pale face, a wide nose that had been broken a few times, and dun, brown eyes that seemed constantly glazed over, like he was high. 

_That might explain a few things,_ Thor thought. The guy was backup for a reason. 

“We want you off the team, Thor,” he said. He sounded high, too. Like his thoughts were vague and slow to come. Thor barked out a laugh.

“Why is that?” he asked, crossing his arms. 

“We don’t want the football team to be led by a fuckin’ sissy,” he declared. Thor huffed. 

“Right,” Thor replied. “Well, there are already 3 pointless men off the team for their injuries, what does it matter if there are a few backups to add to the list?”

“It don’t matter,” a lackey said. “We already went to the coach. Said you was bad for the team cause we can’t trust you.”

Thor felt his rage building inside him. They went behind his back? To the coach? He was really about to lay into them. Then Steve was between them and Thor’s heart dropped to his stomach. 

“Back off,” he said. 

“What’d you say, faggot?” one of the malcontents demanded.

“Back off,” Steve repeated. “So what if he’s gay? What does it matter to you?”

“We can’t have a faggot on the team,” Anson insisted boorishly. “It’s bad for morals.”

“Morale,” one of the lackeys corrected.

“Right, that.”

“Why?” Steve demanded. “You’ve won every game you’ve played this year.”

“Don’t matter,” he droned. “We can’t have a guy in the locker room who might be checkin’ us out. It’s not natural.”

“You know what’s not natural?” Steve hissed, stepping up to get in Anson’s face. “Your obsession with who he does or doesn’t like. That’s disgusting. You’re so worried that he might be checking you out that you’re actually obsessing over it. It doesn’t even concern you!”

They were stunned silent at that. 

“You’re cowards,” Steve continued. “If you have a problem with him at least have the balls to go to him about it instead of whining to the coach.”

Anson grabbed him by the shirt and raised a fist to strike him down. Thor rushed forward. _Great Baldr, please no,_ he prayed silently. 

“Go ahead,” Steve said. “I’m not afraid of you.”

Remarkably, miraculously, it seemed to work. Anson shoved him back and stalked off.

“This punk ain’t worth it,” he grumbled. 

Steve released a breath all at once and slumped. Thor grabbed him in a fierce embrace. 

“I’m fine, Thor, really,” he assured him. Thor released him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“ _Älskling,_ ” he breathed. “That was… hot.”

Steve blushed. “Really?”

“Yes,” Thor said, holding his face. “I have never been more attracted to you than right now.”

Steve blushed. “It wasn’t anything special,” he said. “It was a dumb thing for me to do.”

“It was a brave thing for you to do,” Thor countered. “And I have never admired you more than when you did it.”

“It’s not fair for you to do all the fighting,” Steve whispered. “I just… I wanted to protect you.”

Thor kissed his lips softly. It was a chaste kiss, filled with adoration and gratitude. Steve returned it after a brief moment. His lover took a trembling breath when they parted. Thor stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers, feeling the soft, gentle features that hid so much strength.

“I thank you for it,” Thor whispered. “My little hero.”

Then Steve smiled, and Thor’s heart was glad.  


* * *

The entire rest of the day, Thor ran Steve’s confrontation with his detractors through his head again and again. It amazed him. Not just that it worked, but that Steve had actually done it. He actually had to put it from his mind a couple times during the physics test so he could focus. Of course, as soon as the test was over, they had some free time. 

“You nervous about talking to the coach?” his lover asked.

“Hm? No, why should I be?” he replied.

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Steve said. “But the teachers here aren’t exactly fair minded.”

“That is an understatement,” Thor huffed. “But it is very simple, Steve. If I get kicked off the team because I have a boyfriend, one of two things will probably happen. One, my parents will complain. And if there is one thing you should never do to government officials, it is give them reason to complain.”

“And if that doesn’t happen?” Steve asked. 

“Then I will find something else to do with my time,” Thor whispered. “Maybe I can find a rugby club for teenagers in the city.”

“But wouldn’t you be happier staying on the team?”

“To be honest, I would rather the school have a rugby team,” Thor said. “American football is… interesting. Fun when you get used to it, but it really is a wimpy version of rugby.”

“You still need to show me a game,” Steve said, laughing. 

“I do, that is true,” he said. “Are you free this weekend?”

Steve nodded. 

“Wonderful!” Thor said. “I will bring you to the light, yet.”

“If you can keep off my neck long enough to explain what's going on, that is,” Steve teased.

Thor laughed, causing the teacher to look up from her desk to glare at him. He quieted himself and waved in apology. 

“You're one to talk, _älskling,_ ” he whispered. “I seem to remember you being quite enamored with mine.”

His lover blushed. “It doesn't… bother you, does it?”

“I do not mind,” Thor assured him. “I am Swedish. We are not as… hung up about such things. Besides, it feels good.”

Steve’s flush grew until it encompassed his entire face as he smiled and gods the sight was beautiful. Thor was counting down the minutes until school let out when they no longer had to worry about getting in trouble for public displays of affection. At least, until he had to show up for practice, that is. Americans were so backwards and repressed. What was wrong with kissing in public? It wasn’t like they were having sex for all the world to see. Hell, all they were doing now was talking and people were giving them dirty looks.

As soon as the bell rang, Steve surprised him again by sitting in his lap and kissing him. Thor hummed with surprise but returned the kiss. It was a pleasant surprise. HIs hand fell to Steve’s thighs and brought him closer. 

Someone coughed. Thor groaned and broke contact. It was one of their classmates. Becky or something. He couldn’t remember. She looked distinctly uncomfortable as she looked at them. Thor glared at her. Much as he was comfortable being affectionate in public, he did not exactly appreciate an audience. Unless they were cheering. That was different. 

“What is it?” he asked, a bit more harshly than he intended. 

“Do you guys mind?” Thor stared at her, but did not say anything. “I mean, it’s cool you guys are gay, that’s not a problem, but do you have to shove it down our throats every day? I mean, we get it, you’re gay but could you tone it down?”

“Ms. Davies,” the teacher said from across the room. “A moment of your time if you please.”

“Yes Ms. Foster,” she said.

“Is it any of your business what they do with each other, Nancy?” Ms. Foster asked. _That’s it,_ Thor thought.

“Well they--”

“I’m not asking about them,” she said. “I’m asking how it involves you.”

Nancy was silent and hung her head. “It doesn’t ma’am.”

“I thought not,” Ms. Foster said. “Don’t let me catch you doing that again.”

Nancy practically ran out of the room. Steve was hiding his face in the crook of Thor’s neck. It annoyed him, but not because he thought Steve was too fearful. He was still new to this. The fact that he was willing to be public at all was thrilling to him. It was mostly because it made his lover feel ashamed or like he needed to hide himself. When the girl was gone the teacher walked up to them. 

“I’m sorry about that,” she said. “You guys okay?”

“We are well, Ms. Foster,” Thor assured her. 

“Good. By the way if either of you are ever interested, I’m the faculty adviser for the Gay-Straight Alliance,” she said. “We have a meeting after school this Friday.”

“I am, regrettably, unavailable after school most of the time,” Thor said. 

“But… I might be… interested,” Steve said, sheepishly. 

“Wonderful Steve,” she said, smiling. “It will be great to have you there.”

She said nothing more and went back to her desk. Thor was grateful. Allies were something of a mixed bag. They were well meaning, most of the time, but some were very aggressive in their brand of solidarity to the point that it was off putting. Ms. Foster, at least, seemed to be the quiet, supportive brand of ally, at least. 

Thor looked up at the time and groaned. There was never really enough time. 

“I have to go, _älskling,_ ” he whispered, kissing him again. Steve sighed, but got up.

Thor walked him to the front of the building before heading to the locker room. As much as he had tried to play it off like it was not a big deal, he could admit to himself that he was nervous. There was no telling what the coach or his team of assistant coaches would do. He had no idea where they stood on the matter. Considering that they lived in New York City, it was more likely than many places to be accepting. But prejudice towards queer folk was everywhere. 

He tried not to worry about it as he walked into the room. He tried to ignore the dirty looks or the way people leaned and moved away from him. He tried to focus on getting dressed and ready for practice. 

“Thor,” one of his teammates said. “Coach wants to see you.”

He nodded and finished getting outfitted before he headed to the office. Thankfully, only the head coach was there, Coach Phillips. He was an older man, perhaps the same age as his father. Coach Phillips and Odin, Thor had decided, would either get along famously or they would be at each other’s throats constantly and there was no in between. The man had a perpetually stern look on his face, like he had spent some time in the military and it had left him in a sour mood ever since. That being said, Thor thought him a decent man. When he entered the office, Coach Phillips motioned for him to walk with him. 

“Son, I don’t know what rumors you’ve heard but I’ve had a number of complaints about you recently,” he said as he walked.

“Anson Brown informed me this morning,” Thor said. “Have there been any others?”

“Most of the complaints have been from guys like him,” Phillips said. “Bitter sons of bitches with delusions of grandeur who want to play but aren’t as good as they think they are.”

Thor chuckled at that. 

“You think this funny, Odinson?” Phillips asked. 

“Why shouldn’t I, sir?” Thor asked. “You made me quarterback because I am the most qualified, not because I was straight.”

“You got the right of it there, son,” he replied. “God, I hoped all this would end when Barnes went off to college.”

“You know about Bucky, Coach?”

Coach Phillips gave him a deadpan look. _Of course he does,_ Thor thought. 

“Son, this happens every time there’s a gay or bisexual or what have you guy on the team,” he explained. “And every time it happens there are some kids who want to whine about it ‘cause they think being naked in a room with someone who likes guys makes them less of a man.”

“So there is no problem then,” Thor stated. 

“Not unless you plan on fuckin’ your boyfriend in the locker room,” he replied. “Now get out there, I want you all to get those plays down pat by Friday. Anyone gives you trouble, you deal with it or you send them to me, got it?”

“Yes, coach,” Thor replied and jogged to the field where people were already starting to get ready. 

_It could have been worse,_ Thor thought with relief. _Wait until I tell Steve, he will be gladdened._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is the biggest closeted musical theater slut and no one can convince me otherwise.
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, loves! Also, here's my tumblr, in case anyone wants to look me up. https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com <3


	19. Shadows in the Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of past abuse, alcoholism. Very brief, no graphic details
> 
> Full disclosure: I know absolutely nothing about rugby aside from what I've been able to learn from youtube and google, so if I did an absolutely terrible job at this whole rugby the European kids are into these days, that would be why.

Thor’s plans for the day to teach Steve about rugby were thrown into chaos by the agent of chaos himself, Loki. Loki was practicing. Loudly. The new theater director, Mr. Coulson (whom Tony called “Agent,” for some unknown reason), had announced that in lieu of throwing a slapdash fall production together, the first show would be a production of It’s a Wonderful Life and Julius Caesar would be the spring show. Loki was beside himself with anticipation and decided that he was going to start practicing for the lead role immediately.

“Brother, you know that I love you dearly,” Thor said. “But must you practice so loudly? I am trying to do something.”

“Dear brother, I appreciate that you must practice for rugby and American football,” Loki replied. “Please appreciate that I must practice for theater.”

“The show is in the spring semester,” Thor pointed out. 

“So?”

“So is it really necessary to practice the death scene on the couch while I am with my boyfriend?”

Indeed, Loki had taken up most of the couch in his rehearsal process and now he had one absurdly long leg draped over Steve. The rest of his body was splayed out in some kind of dramatic pose that he thought would be good for a death scene. Any other time, Thor might have been willing to overlook it. But right now, when he was trying to spend time with his lover, it was an unwelcome distraction. 

“Loki, do you know one of the benefits about growing up poor?” Steve asked. 

“I am sure you are about to enlighten me,” his brother replied. 

“I know how to do my own laundry,” he said. 

“I am sure that must come in handy for those unfortunate enough to not have servants or household staff,” Loki drawled.

“Which means that I know just how much bleach is needed to ruin all your dark clothes,” Steve replied. Loki sat up quickly and scowled at him. 

“You would not dare,” he hissed.

“I might,” Steve said. “If you don’t give us some space and leave us be.”

Loki grinned. “Well played, Mr. Rogers,” he said. “I am impressed you could be so devious.”

With that, he got up, left the upstairs living room, and jogged downstairs to find more people to torment with his acting preparations. Thor rolled his eyes at his brother's antics, but could not find it in himself be too offended. Both of them were dramatic and enjoyed being in the center of attention. Thor on the sports field, and Loki on the stage. It was natural to enjoy what they were good at. 

“So what’s the hype around this sport you Europeans think is better than football?” Steve asked when he was gone.

“It _is_ better than football, Steve,” Thor insisted as he flipped through the TiVo to catch the most recent rugby game that he had missed because he was at a game. It was Germany vs. Spain, so he knew who he was going to root for. He was partial for any country near his native Sweden. “Which is better than your _American_ football, by far.”

“Right,” Steve drawled with a grin. “Do you have a team?”

“Australia, during the World Cup,” he answered. “Germany any other time.”

“Not Sweden?” Steve asked.

“To be fair, Sweden’s rugby union is not all that skilled,” Thor said. “But that does not stop my father from identifying them as his team. If we were watching local games, that would be one thing, but I do not think you understand Swedish.”

“Yeah, I’ve definitely been slacking there,” Steve agreed. “A bit rusty with German, too, to be honest.”

“Don’t worry, this will be in English,” Thor assured him. 

The game started and Thor began to explain how this 15 man team worked, which people went where, what their jobs were, how to score, and how the game worked in general. Steve seemed to understand, although it was really impossible to tell until the game actually started. Germany, to Thor's despair, lost possession of the ball early on and Spain was able to score. 

Thor shouted at the television at the display. In German. Steve, meanwhile started laughing uncontrollably.

“This is not funny, Steve!” Thor cried. “My team is losing!”

He was pretty sure that Steve was stifling a laugh but Thor ignored him in favor of watching the actual game. Even though he knew that the whole reason they were watching it was to make Steve a fan. When a ruck happened and the people on both teams started piling on top of each other trying to get control of the ball, Steve actually did laugh.

“What?” Thor asked. “What’s so funny? It’s a ruck it happens all the time.”

“That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever seen,” Steve declared.

“Really? That’s your first thought?” Thor demanded. He did grin, however. “Have you ever actually watched American football?”

“Come on, babe,” Steve said. “You can’t say that American football does anything like that. That guy just hugged the other guy’s butt and took him to the ground. The most we do is just tackle or platonically smack butts and that’s it.”

Thor laughed at that. He was not wrong. The game continued on, with Steve commenting or asking questions about the game. Some of it was similar to American football, some of it was not. Steve, it turned out was a pretty fast learner and got into the game pretty quickly. Not as into it as Thor and his father got into it, but still. Frigga and Loki frequently had to ask them to keep it down so as not to disrupt whatever it was they were doing. Painting, probably. 

Germany eventually gained the upper hand, much to his delight. He jumped to his feet and cheered as the team scored a try and took the lead. It was about damn time. Germany was, in his unbiased opinion, the better team by far. They had simply had an off day when this occurred. He felt better, of course, when his team managed to keep possession of the ball. 

By the end of the game, Germany had won, if by a narrower margin than Thor was hoping for. Still, a win was a win and he would take it. Steve was smiling by the end of the game as well, to Thor’s pride and delight. 

“Did you enjoy the game?” he asked.

“I did,” Steve said. “It’s a lot faster than football, that’s for sure. Football seems to take breaks all the time.”

Thor chuckled. “That is certainly true,” he admitted. “I much prefer to play rugby.”

“Seems like the players take quite a beating,” Steve said. 

“All part of the sacrifice,” he said. “And battle scars are spectacular!”

“Really?” Steve asked in disbelief. Thor remembered showing his boyfriend the album in his phone containing the various bruises and other "battle scars" he had acquired while playing rugby. The look of shock had been priceless.

“Of course!” he declared. “They are signs that you fought for something and even if you lost that you at least put up a fight. And they are sexy.”

“Yeah, there’s that, I suppose,” he said. Steve had a faraway look in his eye as he said it, though. Thor wondered what it could possibly mean. “I just realized that now that you’ve shown me what rugby is like, I owe you a look at my drawings.”

That was a change of subject if ever he’d heard one. He wondered why it bothered him. He was afraid to ask, however. The last time he had pried into Steve’s life it brought up something… unpleasant, it seemed. Though he burned with curiosity, Thor restrained himself and chose to allow the change in the conversation. 

“You do!” he said. “But, I do not think that you brought anything with you, _älskling,_ ” he said.

Steve smiled at the endearment. It gladdened Thor's heart that he was able to distract Steve from whatever was ailing his mind. 

“Do you think your mother would let me borrow some supplies if I ask nicely?”

Thor smiled. “She will be thrilled.”  


* * *

Frigga was not thrilled. Not in the slightest. She was ecstatic. She fetched sketching parchment, pencils of varying colors. She also insisted on being there to see the finished product. He agreed, though he did feel was a great deal of pressure to perform.

“What shall you draw, Steve?” she asked. “I am so looking forward to seeing what you draw.”

Steve blushed. _How do I tell her?_ he wondered. He decided to just say it. She would probably not mind.

“I was thinking of drawing Thor,” he admitted. “It will be good to… practice the anatomy.”

“Of course,” she replied with a wink. Steve blushed and ducked his head. “In that case I believe we should go outside. The afternoon light will compliment him beautifully.”

Steve looked out the window. The golden light of the sun was streaming through the windows. It would surely accentuate his blond hair and the golden tan of his skin. 

“I hope you have something comfortable for him to sit on,” he said.

“Of course,” she replied. “Darling, grab a stool from my parlor and meet us outside.”

When they were outside Steve found that he had trouble finding the right angle for the light. 

“What do you think about this angle, Frigga?” he asked. Their backyard had actual grass. He couldn't believe it. He put it from his mind as he tried to focus on the lighting. Thor was currently facing the west, where the sun was beginning to approach the horizon. His face was bathed in the golden light and his hair gleamed. 

“I almost think, _älskling,_ ” Thor said. “That the sun will set before you find the right angle.”

“Do not be dramatic, son,” Frigga chastised. “I think this angle will do nicely, Steve.”

“Finally,” Thor said.

“Thor, could you turn to the left a bit?” Steve asked. 

Thor sighed as he complied.

“Tilt your chin up a bit,” Steve said.

He did so.

“Take your shirt off, please.”

“What kind of drawing is this, exactly?” he demanded as he disposed of his shirt. 

“Mostly a study of musculature,” Steve replied. “So sit up straight and keep your arms relaxed.” 

He complied. Steve looked at his boyfriend, staring dramatically into the distance in the late afternoon sun, his legs propped on one of the bars connecting the legs of the stool, his left arm propped his leg and his right draped across his lap. It was stunning. He was stunning. He drank in the sight. Then took his parchment and pencils and began to sketch.

The process took some time. Sketching the general outline of Thor's body, the lines of his limbs. In time the rough sketch was refined and the image of Thor's physique began to emerge. Frigga, thankfully neither hovered, watching his every sketch, nor disrupted his focus with chatter. Steve hummed to himself as he selected his next color. 

He tried to quiet the part of his mind that screamed that he was going to screw up with some success. It was almost like background noise, like the house in the background of his drawing. This one drawing would probably take him more than a single afternoon, honestly. Thankfully he had taken a picture to reference to later. 

When the sun began to set, he took another picture as the golden light became tinged with red and orange before the shadows from the buildings around them began to block the light. Steve got up and folded his portfolio over. Thor practically jumped down off the stool and began to stretch. He came over to look at it, but Steve hid the portfolio behind his back. 

“You will not let me see it?” Thor asked, confused.

“It's not finished yet,” Steve explained, setting the portfolio and the supplies on the patio table. “It takes a while. It will probably take me a few days at least until I’m satisfied with the result.”

“Take all the time you need, dear,” Frigga said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Everything worth doing is worth doing well. I look forward to seeing the finished product.”

Of course, ma'am,” Steve said, bowing his head.

“And of course you must take these with you,” she added. She presented him with the set of pencils he had borrowed. “As my gift to you.”

“Thank you very much, Frigga,” Steve gasped. 

“It is no trouble, dear,” she said. “A good artist should have good materials.”

Steve blushed. “I’m not that great, I just work hard.”

“Steve, false modesty is not attractive on anyone, dear,” she chastised. “Hard work is all it is. No one is born being a good artist. It takes as much time and work and dedication as anything else. Do you understand?”

Steve nodded.

“Wonderful,” she smiled. “Now, if you will excuse me, I need to get ready. My husband has a charity dinner tonight in town.”

And with that, she left the two of them alone in the backyard. Thor moved behind him and wrapped his arms around his body, folding his hands across Steve’s stomach. He kissed the top of his head.

“No, you can’t take a peek at it,” Steve said.

“How did you know?” Thor demanded. 

“You’re not subtle, babe.”

Steve felt Thor’s body shift behind him. He had all of a few seconds before he felt Thor’s hot breath against the shell of his ear.

“I like it when you call me that,” he whispered. Steve shivered. “Say it again?”

“Babe,” he breathed. Thor leaned down to kiss his neck. Steve sighed. Until Thor’s hand touched his side. A definitely inhuman shriek escaped his mouth and Steve jumped away from him, his hands warding his boyfriend away. Thor meanwhile was laughing uncontrollably.

“What was that?” he demanded. 

“.... Nothing,” Steve said. 

“Wait, are you… ticklish?” Thor said, taking a step towards him.

“No?”

Thor grinned a devious, malicious grin and Steve turned and ran away. Thor gave chase, though not in any serious way. He could catch him easily, though Steve appreciated that he gave him a sporting chance at escape. A few minutes of running around the yard, however, was enough to tire Steve, whose body was far from strong. Thor caught him and tackled him to the ground. He grunted when he hit the ground and Thor pinned him beneath him. His boyfriend grinned down at him and put his fingers to where he had gotten Steve’s reaction a few minutes ago. 

Steve shrieked with laughter as Thor’s fingers danced over his body. He was merciless. Steve’s attempts at resistance were futile. Thor was simply bigger and stronger than he. 

“Stop! Stop please, I yield!” he shouted through his fits of giggles. “I’ll do anything!”

“Anything?” Thor asked.

“Yeah, sure anything!”

“All right,” he said. Steve lay on the grass, his chest heaving with exertion. Thor lay on the grass next to him and they stared up at the sky together for a moment. “Tell me about yourself, _älskling._ ”

“What do you want to know?” he asked. 

“Well…” Thor mused. “I know so little about your life. I know it is complicated, but if you would tell me of it, I would be happy.”

“My life hasn’t exactly been shamrocks and rainbows and pots of gold, you know,” he replied.

“Has anyone’s?” Thor countered.

Steve was quiet for a moment. He gathered his courage against the anxiety in his head telling him that Thor would surely run for the hills when he heard about his life. There seemed to be so little of his life that was free from either the bullying at school and Joe's drunkenness at home. There was Bucky, but even Bucky had been there to try and protect him from both of those things, whether by fighting the bullies or letting Steve stay at his place. Still… he wanted to tell him. He had been able to tell Dr. Erskine nearly a year ago, and that had taken months. Perhaps it would be easier now. He took a deep breath.

“You know my father is dead,” he began. Thor hummed in confirmation. “Joe was… well, he was an alcoholic.”

Thor didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He did, however, take Steve’s hand in his. Steve squeezed it. He was grateful for the little, silent token of support. 

“Mom says that it started when he was laid off sometime when I was a kid,” he explained. “I can't remember him ever having a job, though, so I must have been young when it happened. Joe couldn’t handle the shame or something and turned to beer. Then whiskey. He… well.”

He took a shuddering breath. “He was a mean drunk. He would come home staggering and barely conscious. Mom made sure I was in bed before he came home.”

“Did he…?”

Steve didn’t need any prompting. “Yes, he beat me,” he said. “He thought I was weak because I was such a scrawny kid. Thought he could make me tougher by making me defend myself.”

Thor’s hand squeezed his. Steve took another, fortifying breath. He realized that his cheeks were wet with tears. 

“Sorry, it’s hard to talk about,” he said. 

“You need not apologize, my _älskling,_ ” Thor whispered. “I am sorry to have brought it up.”

“If I wasn’t comfortable talking to you about it, I would have told you,” Steve said. His voice was shaky. “This is why I have anxiety. Why I have Panic Disorder. I’ve gotten a lot better. I had to be held back a couple years because I used to miss so much school. I was terrified of running into him.”

“How did Joe die?” Thor asked. 

Steve huffed a laugh. “He stumbled into the street one night and got hit by a bus.”

Thor chuckled darkly. “Why didn’t your mother ever leave him?”

“She never felt like she could. My mom comes from a very traditional, very strict Irish Catholic family,” Steve explained. “They threatened to disown her if she divorced her husband. She tried to get an annulment from the church, but the priest told her that if she was more supportive of Joe, then he would stop drinking so much.”

Thor made a disgusted noise. 

“Right. So mom felt trapped. It was all she could do to keep me from harm most days,” he said. “I don’t blame her. She had to deal with him, too.”

Thor brought his hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it. Steve used his free hand to wipe the tears from his face. 

“It’s in the past, though,” he said. “Life is better now.”

“I am glad to hear it Steve,” his boyfriend whispered. Steve took a deep breath, steadying his racing heart and quelling the fear inside him somewhat. Thor was a good man. 

“Come on,” he said, getting up and dusting off his pants. “Let’s go inside.”

“What is inside?” Thor asked.

“I was thinking it might be more comfortable to cuddle on a couch than on the ground,” Steve said. “But you can stay here if you want.”

Thor got up and followed him into the house. Steve grabbed his supplies and headed inside. Thor was already sitting on the couch when he was there. Steve curled up next to him, resting his head on his shoulder. Thor’s arm draped around him, resting on his side protectively. Steve sighed and let the sound of his boyfriend’s heartbeat lull him into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! Or you can pop by my tumblr and hit me up! https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/


	20. Magick Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! Remember that paganism tag? Yeah, it's coming up today. Thank you to all my Norse pagan friends who helped me out with getting this as accurate. If anyone here happens to be Norse pagan and wants to correct me/add details, please feel free.

Halloween was tomorrow. Oddly enough, Thor didn’t seem to be celebrating. Or rather, he did seem to be celebrating, just not dressing up as anything or doing anything associated with Halloween. Loki, meanwhile, was beside himself with excitement, which was almost as frightening as the look on his face when he was about to prank someone. Steve wasn’t a huge fan of Halloween himself, either. Too many drunks wandering around the Village for the Halloween Parade. Not that he disliked it, it was fine. He just didn’t understand the appeal. 

Halloween fell on a Saturday, this year, which meant that all the shenanigans that happened would be even worse this year because none of the high school hellions had to worry about showing up to school in the morning. However, while the rest of the school seemed to be already high on sugar or whatever else in the way of recreational drugs was floating around the school system, Steve and his group of friends seemed to be indifferent to it all. Except Tony, who might actually be taking some of those recreational drugs.

Steve was working on the drawing he had started of Thor sitting on the stool in his backyard nearly two weeks ago. Or trying to, anyway. He was exhausted. His anxiety had been giving him a hard time lately. He had only gotten a couple hours of sleep the last few nights and it took nearly all his energy to get out of bed this morning. Add to that the constant mental and emotional drain that anxiety had on him, and it was a wonder he had shown up to school at all. He was seriously considering calling his mom to come pick him up. 

The picture was almost done, but done enough that he was willing to let Thor look at it. He wanted to finish the little details before he showed Frigga. As supportive as Thor was, his knowledge of the arts was limited. Right now, though, he couldn’t really bring himself to do anything but stare blankly at the picture, completely at a loss for how to finish it. 

“Do you have plans for Halloween?” Thor asked. 

“Not yet,” Steve replied. “Why?”

“My family is having a bonfire tomorrow night,” he elaborated. “It is not your typical Halloween festivity but it is something we look forward to every year. Do you want to come?”

“You’re inviting him to Samhain?” Loki asked incredulously. “Does he even know what that means?”

“What’s Samhain?” Steve and Tony asked. 

“Samhain is basically the pagan new year,” Thor said. “There is frequently a bonfire, people honor the memories of the ancestors, and ask the gods for blessings and guidance for the new year.”

“You’re pagans?” Tony asked.

“We are, indeed!” Thor said with pride. “Though personally, I prefer Yule.”

“Brother, you’re just looking forward to getting drunk this year with mother and father,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. 

“And you, dear brother, are just jealous because you’re still not of age,” Thor countered with a grin. 

“Will there be drinking at this Samhain celebration?” Tony asked.

“If you are of age,” Thor said. “And of the 4 of us here, Steve and I are the only ones.”

“And I don’t drink,” Steve said. 

“Why not?!” Tony demanded. 

“I just don’t,” Steve replied. 

“Who hurt you?!” Tony cried. 

Steve paused in his drawing and didn’t look up. Then he decided that he really didn’t feel like having this conversation with Tony and packed his bag and got up. 

“Good job, you ass,” Thor muttered before he got up as well to follow Steve. 

“What’d I say?” Tony demanded.

Steve hurried away. He needed to be away from Tony at the moment. His anxiety was starting to act up. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he really didn’t fit in with this weird group of people at all. He wasn’t dramatic or outgoing or boisterous or clever or witty or even that attractive. He was just Steve and they were probably all putting up with him, waiting for him to leave. Thor said he cared about him, but that was probably just--

“Steve, wait up,” Thor said. He paused. The thoughts raged on inside his skull, driving doubt into his life. The part of him that knew that it was irrational wasn’t working today. His brain was running full throttle today. “Are you well?”

“I’m fine,” he lied. He was trying very hard not to crawl into a corner and hide to wait for the panic attack he was absolutely certain was coming. And God, he didn’t have the energy to deal with a panic attack today. He barely had the energy to function like a person.

“You are fine?” Thor asked. “Pardon me for saying so, but you seem a little on edge.”

Steve looked away. Looked anywhere but at Thor. The floor, the ceiling, the lockers, the people around him. He wanted it all to stop for a moment so he could scream until his voice was hoarse. Most of all, he didn’t say anything. 

“Steve,” Thor whispered, leaning down to look him in the eye. “Steve, it is okay, talk to me.”

 _Fuck that. Talk,_ he thought. _That’s the last thing you want to do. You’ll say something stupid and make everything fall apart._

“Please, _älskling,_ ” Thor begged. “Tell me what to do to help you.”

Against his better judgment, Steve felt his tongue loosen. 

“I’m having a bad day, Thor,” he said, slowly, deliberately. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m struggling with my anxiety, today,” he snapped. Then he kicked himself for it. It wasn’t Thor’s fault, he was just trying to be a good boyfriend. “I’m sorry. I feel like I’m about to explode. It’s not your fault.”

“Is there a way I can help?” Thor asked. 

“I need some time to myself to get this out of my system,” he said. “So, I will try to be at your… Samhain tomorrow, but I don’t know.”

“It’s all right, Steve,” Thor said. “You do what you need to do.”

Steve, in spite of himself, hugged his boyfriend. Every one of his brain cells were screaming at him, but he did it anyway. Thor’s hug, usually gentle and firm, was fierce and strong and protective. It did nothing to soothe his mind but physically, it felt good. 

“I need to make a call,” he said.

“All right,” Thor whispered. “I wish you well, _älskling._ "

“Thanks, you too.”

Thor walked away. Steve headed towards a secluded part of the school and took out his phone to call his mom. It rang twice before she picked up.

“Steve?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

He swallowed. “I’m out of spoons,” he said. 

“All right, I’m on my way,” she said. “I’ll call the school and tell them that I’m picking you up to go to the doctor. See you soon.”

“Thanks, mom,” he said. “See you soon.”

She arrived shortly after the bell rang for class to start. As soon as they got home he collapsed on the couch and turned on a white noise app of various nature sounds. It was the only time he found such sounds soothing. Usually he opted for sounds of the hustle and bustle of city life. But right now, when his brain was on full alert, anything that sounded like people was stressful and unwelcome. With the nature sounds, he could pretend that he was far away from everyone. 

He remembered what Thor told him about Sweden. About the forests, the snows in the winter, about the cities and what it was like to see the Northern Lights on a clear winter’s night. He thought of reindeer and snow and the smells of pine and ice and smoke. It was a dream, to think that Thor would ever actually take him there to see his country, the country he loved so much. But in the wake of his mind screaming fear and impending doom and over analyzing every little thing, it was a good dream.  


* * *

Thor did not hear from Steve for the rest of the day. He also did not show up to either of the classes they shared that day. Loki confirmed that Steve had not been present that morning, either. He tried his best not to worry about it. He tried to do the whole “reflect on your past year and try to figure out what you would like to do differently” thing for Samhain. The problem was, all he could really think about was Steve. Whether he was all right, what he was doing, if he needed anything, if Thor should even do anything aside from letting Steve have time to himself. 

It was not helping. Thor reflected back on his past relationships for any clue as to how to deal with this. He had never dated anyone with a mental illness before. It was vexing in a sense. He was the sort of person who wanted to fix problems, provide solutions, be the one his partner leaned on. Now it was like he was powerless. He literally could not do anything to help Steve. It was vexing. 

Through some stroke of luck, fate, or the favor of the gods, Thor did not have practice today as there were no games that weekend. Which meant that he and Loki were going home around the same time and Thor got to experience the hustle and bustle that was everyone trying to get home at once.

“How do you live with this every day?” Thor asked. 

“Trust me, brother,” he replied. “I have no idea. I thought you were going to the GSA meeting?”

Thor made a noncommittal sound. “Your boyfriend got to my boyfriend,” he said. “That sort of killed that idea.”

“I know, I apologize,” Loki said. “I have tried to be… discreet about subjects that seem to upset Steve, but I fear Tony can be… how do the British say it?”

“A bull in the china shop?” Thor suggested.

“Yes that,” he replied. “Honestly, sometimes I wonder if he is aware of others’ cues or if his brilliant brain gets in the way.”

He had a point. Tony was a year younger than Loki but he was, like Thor and Steve, in all advanced classes. He could, theoretically, graduate. Why he was not going to do so was beyond Thor. 

Mr. Baker was waiting for them when they arrived at the front door. That was something at least. Thor was uncharacteristically impatient to get home. He could not figure out why. Maybe he was needing some time alone himself, for once. It was known to happen on occasion. He could not be expected to spend every waking moment of everyday with people, much as he frequently did so. 

When he got home he literally dropped his bag at the door and collapsed on the couch. His mother was waiting for them. He would have thought that she would be getting ready for the Samhain celebration beginning tonight and ending the day after Halloween. Three days of celebration, reflection, and ringing in the new year. Thor mostly looked forward to the part that fell on Halloween. His parents always got a pig roast for the celebration and usually the whole neighborhood showed up to get some, carve pumpkins, bob for apples, all the usual harvest festival things. The fact that their strangely traditional, conservative Christian neighborhood helped them celebrate one of the most pagan holidays since Christmas amused his family every year.

“Are you all right, dear?” she asked. 

“It was a rough day, mother,” he groaned into a pillow. 

“What happened?”

He sighed. “Steve was having a bad day with his anxiety,” he said. “He went home early.”

She remained silent.

“I do not know what to do, mother,” he said. “I want to help, I want to fix it, but I cannot. There is nothing I can do.”

“Well, I do not know what to say to you to help,” she admitted. “Perhaps he just needs time.”

“That is what he said,” he admitted. “But I do not know how to do that.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” she asked. 

He thought for a moment. “Can I have a reading?”

Her eyebrows rose slightly. He rarely asked for a reading. He tended to do well on his own, tried to figure out his own problems. The last time he had asked for a reading, it had been earlier that year right after he learned that his ex was cheating on him. It hadn’t been a serious relationship, not as serious as he considered his relationship with Steve. But it had been important to him. It turned out that Thor was bad at long-distance relationships and living in America with a boyfriend in Sweden was about as long-distance as they got. Still, he had asked for a reading seeking a measure of objectivity.

“What are you seeking?” she asked. He thought for a moment.

“Clarity,” he said. “Guidance.”

She smiled. “Well, it is Samhain,” she said. “A perfect time for these things.”

She left to fetch a deck. She tended to collect them. Some were gifted to her, others she had purchased herself. Thor knew very little of magick. It was too esoteric and intuitive for him. He was more of an action oriented person. Magick was something that his mother and Loki were drawn to. Maybe it had something to do with being artists.

She returned a few minutes later and offered a prayer to Freya, conveying what he was seeking. Thor silently sent his own prayer to Baldr, the god of his choice, as well. He and his mother both chose to honor Baldr, as the god of light and joy. Thor chose Baldr out of a desire to hold the light in the forefront of his mind. His mother chose to do so since, as a diplomat’s wife, her role was to ensure that the people around her were happy and cared for. She also honored her namesake, Frigga, in that capacity. 

“Think of the situation that you need clarity on,” she said, setting the deck before him. “When you are done, shuffle the deck with this question in mind.”

Thor focused on his relationship with Steve, on his desire to help him, his inability to do so. He bridged the deck a few times until he felt satisfied with how it turned out. 

“Think of your situation,” she said again. “Choose a card that represents the area you need clarity in.”

Again, he focused. He thumbed through the cards until he felt that he had reached the right one. He set it down on the table in front of him, but did not turn it over. 

“Next, think of the obstacle in the way of your desired outcome for this situation and choose a card.” Thor repeated the process. This time the card came quickly, as it was on top of the deck. 

“Now think about the advice you need to see this situation resolved, however that may be,” she said. He leafed through the deck until he found the third card. When he set it down on the table, his mother said a final prayer inviting the influence of their divine patrons in helping them understand the situation at hand. 

He turned over the first card, his situation. 

“The Lovers,” she read. Thor huffed in amusement. “It seems appropriate. You’re in a good place with Steve, but there’s a new element in play now. The Lovers can represent a major dilemma in your life.”

She thought for a moment. “You’re in a bit a trial, actually. You must consider carefully what the right path for you is and what that entails. Whatever you do, though, be sure that it is true to who you are.”

Thor nodded and turned over the next card.

“The five of cups, inverted,” she read. “This is interesting. Here the five of cups represents an end to sorrow and melancholy, being ready to move on. Since it is in the obstacle position, I think it says that you are being impatient.”

“Impatient?” Thor asked. 

“You want too much too soon, dear,” she said. “You need to give this dilemma time to resolve itself. You are ready, but you need to understand that what Steve needs from you precludes what you want from him.”

“Right, fine,” he grumbled. “Perhaps the cards are saying I need to work on patience in general.”

“That is possible,” she said. With that, Thor flipped the third card over. 

“The queen of cups,” she said, smiling. “As I was just saying, you need to be sensitive to the needs of your lover. You need to consider his emotional well-being and act accordingly.”

“But, what if this is something that never really resolves itself?” Thor asked.

“Then you really need to work on your patience, dear,” she said. She moved over to his side of the table and took his hands in hers. “Thor, all relationships take work. They’re all hard. We all have fears and insecurities and try as you might, you cannot fix them by sheer force of will.”

“What do I do then?” he asked. “I care about him, mother. I hate seeing him so.”

She rested a hand on his cheek. “You want to be the one people look to for support,” she said. “Especially for your lovers. Perhaps this is a time to learn what that means for Steve. Do you understand?”

“No,” he confessed.

“Good. That would defeat the purpose of learning the lesson,” she said, gathering up her cards. “And for what it’s worth, dear, I do believe that you and Steve can figure it out.”

“Is this another one of your infallible feelings?” he asked with a rueful grin.

“Yes actually,” she said. “Now go get dressed. Samhain starts tonight and your father expects you to look respectable.”

Thor sighed. Then he embraced his mother. “Thank you, mother.”

“Oh my darling boy,” she said. “Any time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering, I did not bullshit the tarot reading. I actually did that reading myself with Thor in mind. Don't tell my conservative Christian parents. 
> 
> Also, for anyone not familiar with the concept of spoons, it's a measure of energy commonly used by people with disabilities and/or mental illnesses. To have no spoons means to be literally out of energy and that someone needs to rest.
> 
> My tumblr is leisurelypanda feel free to hit me up! <3


	21. Samhain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack

Steve woke the next day feeling significantly better than he had the day before. His anxiety, which was no longer had the dial cranked to 11, had not died down completely, but enough to the point that it was manageable. Thankfully, it was Saturday, so he didn’t have to actually be anywhere.

 _Wait,_ he thought. _There’s Thor’s thing today. Right. Am I going to that?_

The problem was that he had no idea when this thing was starting. Was it an all day event? An afternoon party? In the evening? He had no idea. All he knew was that it was apparently some important religious event for Thor.

 _Does that mean I have to dress like I’m going to church?_ he wondered. He really didn’t feel like dressing in anything but comfortable pants and a t-shirt and probably a hoodie or a jacket or something. 

He decided that the easiest way to find out was to text Thor and ask. He floundered for his phone on the bedside table and saw that it was nearly noon. Not surprising. He usually slept more after his anxiety started dying down. He never slept soundly through the night, but he would take what he could get. He also noticed that Thor had texted him that morning asking if he was coming.

 _When is it?_ he texted. _Do I have to dress up?_

He sighed, letting his head flop down onto his pillows again. He groaned, but pushed himself off the bed. He needed to be ready to go whenever this thing was going to start. He did his morning ablutions, grateful that he had the energy to do them. 

“Feeling better this morning?” his mother asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah, not at 100% but better,” he answered.

“Good,” she said, presenting him with his morning dose of his meds. Being a nurse she could be particularly insistent about taking his meds as prescribed. Not that he ever really needed persuading anymore, he knew he would feel better when he did. Theoretically they were supposed to be working towards getting him off them, but… progress was slow going lately. 

“Any plans for today?” she asked.

“Thor has some party going on tonight or something,” he said. “It’s not Halloween, though, it’s… Samhain? I think that’s what it’s called.”

“Really? He’s pagan?” she asked. 

“You’ve heard of it?” 

“You meet all sorts of people at the hospital,” she said. “One of the perks of being a nurse. It’s the pagan new year to honor the ancestors, I believe. It’s also a time to reflect on what’s happened over the past year and what you’d like to do differently.”

“Maybe there’s a way to exempt one particular ancestor from honoring,” he muttered.

“Hey, just because you’re going doesn’t mean you have to take part,” she said. “Just like church. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do.”  
I suppose that’s true, he thought. He looked down as his phone buzzed. Thor had gotten back to him.

 _It starts at 6,_ it read. _And no, you only have to dress up if you want to._

 _Well that’s something,_ he thought.

 _I’ll be there,_ he texted. 

_Great! Do you need a ride or will your mom bring you? She is welcome to stay if she wants._

“Mom, how do you feel about going to a Samhain party?” he asked.

“Steve, I haven’t been to a party in years,” she said. “I’d love to go!”

“Cool, it’s at 6,” he said. 

“Well, at least that gives me time to dress nice and put on my makeup,” she said, cheerfully.  


* * *

His mother pulled into a parking spot on the street near Thor’s house. There was already quite a few people there from the looks of things. Steve was dressed in comfortable clothes and immediately started to worry about whether or not he was under dressed, whether Thor was just trying to be nice but actually wanted him to dress up, whether he was about to disappoint literally everyone and make Thor look bad. He debated hiding in a bush.

“You’ll be fine, Steve,” she said quietly. “He wouldn’t have invited you if he didn’t want you to be here.”

“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath and got out of the car. He led his mom to the Odinson residence and chuckled as she whistled.

“What did you say his father does, again?” she asked, staring up at an entire building for a single family.

“He’s the chief diplomat at the Swedish embassy,” Steve answered. 

“Not too shabby,” she said before she walked up to the front door. Mr. Baker was the one to open when she knocked.

“Ms. Rogers,” he greeted with a smile. “So happy to see you again.”

“You’ve met?” Steve asked.

“When he picked you up for the Homecoming dance,” she explained. “So good to see you again, Bertie.”

“Bertie?”

“Mr. Baker,” Mr. Baker corrected sternly. “Please come in.”

He took their coats as they stepped into the house. It was unlike how Steve remembered. There were lots of autumnal decorations like wreaths of fall leaves, pumpkins, vases in the classic fall colors. There was even an alter that Steve didn’t remember decorated with skulls, a small figurine of the grim reaper, pictures of various people that Steve figured were Thor’s ancestors. There was also a small basket of apples placed, some herbs he couldn’t name, and a twig with some kind of pine needles. It was beautiful in its way. 

They made their way out to the backyard where everyone seemed to be gathering. Steve immediately realized that even though Thor told him he didn’t have to dress up, nearly everyone there had not gotten the same message. Given that it was Halloween, that meant a different kind of dress. There were people in superhero costumes, there were nurses, doctors, animals, and even a couple people who were impersonating presidents. Unfortunately, there were no bushes for Steve to hide in. He was at a social function feeling too awkward to express and there was nowhere for him to hide. 

“There you are, _älskling,_ ” said a voice. Steve turned around to see his boyfriend descend from the steps of the porch and pull him into an embrace. He was dressed in his suit again and Steve’s mouth started to salivate at the sight. It was quickly becoming his favorite image of Thor. He kissed his boyfriend’s cheek. “I am so glad you could make it.”

“I feel like hiding under a rock,” he admitted.

Thor took his hand. “Is your anxiety still giving you trouble?” he asked.

“It always gives me trouble, but it’s better than it was yesterday,” Steve replied. 

“I am glad, then,” Thor said, lacing their fingers together. “It is good to see you again, Ms. Rogers. We are glad you could join us this evening.”

“My pleasure, Thor,” she said with a smile. “It is good to see you as well. Steve doesn’t tell me nearly enough about you.”

“Perhaps you can work your charm on my mother, then,” he said gesturing across the crowd. “I am sure she would love nothing better than to tell you every embarrassing detail of my life.”

“What else are mothers for?” she said. “Excuse me.”

“Are you hungry?” Thor asked. 

“Starving,” he admitted. “This isn’t a holiday where you have to fast, is it?”

Thor laughed loudly. “Not unless you desire to do so,” he said. “Which would be a shame because the pig roast this year is particularly good.”

“A pig roast?” Steve asked. “Are you pulling my leg?”

Thor chuckled and led him to the part of the yard with the buffet table. There was, indeed, an entire barbecued pig with an apple in its mouth on the center of the table. People had helped themselves to some of it, but there was still plenty of meat left. Not surprising, since the beast looked heavier than he did. 

“So… how does this work?” he asked. “Do I just… tear off a piece?”

Thor held up a set of carving implements. “What do you want? Ham? Loin? Bacon? The ribs have been spoken for, unfortunately.”

“By whom?” Steve demanded. 

“By me, of course,” Thor said with a grin.

“What if I asked nicely?” Steve asked. Thor’s eyes became hooded. 

“I suppose, I could make an exception for you,” he grumbled. “Since you are very cute tonight.”

Steve’s entire face began to heat up at that. Trust his boyfriend to make him feel flustered and awkward at the first opportunity. His boyfriend had the nerve to chuckle as he smiled at him. 

“Have I told you recently how beautiful you are when you blush?” he asked. 

“Don’t you dare,” Steve cried, burying his face in his hands.

“You are so beautiful, I cannot help it, my _älskling,_ ” he said, laughing.

“Give me some pork,” Steve replied. 

“Coming right up!” 

The insufferable man chuckled as he expertly carved the pig to get the desired meat. Though Steve did step back to admire him. He filled out the suit nicely, the fabric’s cut accentuating his broad shoulders. He looked as comfortable in a suit as he did in jeans and a t-shirt, a football jersey, or in business casual attire. Steve’s eyes wandered down to his boyfriend’s most beautiful… asset. His ass. It was… magnificent. 

“You’re quiet back there,” Thor said without turning around. Instead, he bent down further to get more food. “You didn’t get distracted by anything, I hope.”

“Yeah, right,” he replied. “Nothing to see back here.”

“That’s a shame,” Thor said, turning around. He presented him with a plate of barbecue pork, sweet corn, and roasted butternut squash. 

“Thanks,” he said. Then he took a deep breath, smelling the aroma of fresh food and Thor’s cologne. “Your butt looks nice.”

Thor chuckled. “But I thought you said there was nothing to be seen,” he teased. Then he kissed him and Steve hummed appreciatively. He could taste the barbecue and spices on his tongue. “Thank you, Steve.”

Steve blushed for the 1000th time since he arrived and decided that the best course of action was to occupy his face with eating. The pork was tender and succulent and the barbecue sauce was a heat to it that complimented the food nicely. 

“So,” Steve said as they meandered through the yard. “If I didn’t have to dress up, why are you in a suit?”

“I wanted you to be comfortable,” Thor said. “And my family is hosting a party, so I have to wear a suit.”

“Speaking of the party,” he said as they approached the bonfire. “Is there any like, deeper meaning to everything here?”

“Well, Samhain was the harvest festival,” Thor explained. “It symbolized the end of the growing season and the coming of the winter months. So the bobbing for apples and the carving of pumpkins were ways to celebrate, give thanks, and remember the cycle of life in preparation for winter. There is also a plate of food at the end of the table for the ancestors.”

“And the bonfire?” he asked.

“Another Samhain tradition,” he explained. “You write something that you would like to leave in the past year, like a habit, and cast it into the flames.”

“I would like to be less afraid,” Steve said.

“My _älskling,_ ” Thor said. “You are already one of the bravest people I know.”

“And yet I am still afraid all the time,” he replied. Thor was silent for a while as they stared at the flames dancing in the pit. 

“I do not know as much about magick as Loki or mother,” he said. “But perhaps it would help.”

Steve thought for a moment. Thor took a piece of paper and a pen out of his pocket. Steve handed him his plate and took the supplies Thor offered. He thought for another moment. Anxiety wasn’t really a habit. But it was something he wanted to be able to rid of. Or at least, be in control of, to one extent or another. It was unlikely that he would ever actually be rid of his mental illness. 

_Screw it,_ he thought. He wrote down his anxiety and tossed it into the flames. Whether there was any magic in it at all, whether there were any gods watching out for him, whether his prayer was heard, he didn’t know. But there was some small measure of satisfaction in watching the piece of paper with the thing that had dominated his life for so long burn to ash. As the embers rose up into the night sky under the light of the moon, he imagined his fear and anxiety flying away with them. 

“How does it feel?” Thor asked.

“It feels good, honestly,” Steve answered. Thor kissed his head. 

“Ah Steve, welcome,” said a new voice. It was Loki. He was standing on the other side of him. Unlike Thor, he was dressed in a Victorian style vest with a green button down shirt and tight black slacks. The Odinson men seemed to like tight clothing, especially pants. “I hope you are enjoying Samhain?”

“It’s been interesting so far,” he said. 

“I am glad,” he said. “My mother was looking for you. She has something for you.”

Steve took his plate back from his boyfriend. “Shall we move on?” he proposed. Thor nodded. “Where can we find her?”

“She’s on the porch sitting on a couch,” Loki indicated with a nod. Steve looked through the crowd and saw his mother talking to Thor’s. He smiled as he realized she was laughing. They made their way through the crowd and sat down at some other chairs in the vicinity. 

“Steve, welcome!” Frigga cried. “Come, I want to do something for you.”

“Ma’am you really don’t have to,” he protested. “You’ve given me more than enough.”

“It is not a gift, per se,” she said. She took out a deck of cards. They were larger than the average playing deck and definitely had more than 52 cards. “I would like to offer you a reading, if you agree.”

“A reading of what?” he asked. 

“Tarot, _älskling,_ ” Thor said. “She’s offering you a tarot reading.”

“Like, to look into the future?” he asked. 

“Tarot cannot actually tell the future, dear,” she said. “It is more of a way of looking at your situation from another perspective.”

“All right, then. I can give it a whirl,” he said. It made about as much sense as the rosary to him, honestly.

“Excellent,” she said. She set the cards down in front of him. “Now, I want you to think carefully about something you want clarity on and focus on that as you shuffle the cards.”

“Oh,” he said. Once again he gave his food to Thor and took the cards. They were a bit of a stretch for his hands, honestly. He struggled with them for a moment, but he was able to bridge them a few times before he cut the deck and bridged it once more. Frigga had him lay out five cards, one in the center, representing himself, and four around representing what he needed to know to the east, his home life in the south, his relationships in the west, and the outcome in the north. When he was done she offered a prayer to a god he noticed shared her name and bowed his head out of respect. 

The first card was labeled, “Knight of Pentacles” and it was upside down. 

“This card here represents feeling stuck,” Frigga explained. “You feel like you’re not making as much progress as you would like.”

“That makes sense,” Steve said. “I thought my anxiety was getting better, but…”

“You feel like it’s not as much as you thought,” she finished. “The Knight of Pentacles can also be a sign that you are too critical, demanding perfection from yourself. You might need to learn to be kinder to yourself.”

Steve hummed. Frigga turned over the next card.

“The six of wands,” she read. “This card means progress and having faith in yourself. Since it is here in the place of what you need to know going forward, I would say that it is reiterating the message of the knight. You need to have confidence in yourself. You’re more capable than you think, dear.”

“I mean, if it was that easy to have more confidence I wouldn’t be in this mess,” Steve grumbled. 

“I know, dear,” she said. “The card also symbolizes success. Your mother has told me something of what you’ve been through. You have made more progress than you realize.”

Steve looked at his mother quizzically. 

“Nothing personal,” she said. “Just about Joe.”

“Oh, that’s okay then,” he said. He turned over the next card, his home card. 

“The knight of wands, inverted,” she said. “Feeling impatient lately?”

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“Knight cards usually symbolise action,” she explained. “When they’re inverted, they represent inaction, a block, or sometimes restlessness. The knight of wands especially represents wanting to move on, but not being able to.”

He nodded in understanding. “I wish I could forget that it ever happened and get to the part where everything is better already.”

“There is no path except the slow one, I’m afraid,” Frigga said gently. “Make sure that you don’t rush into anything before you’re ready.”

Steve thought for a moment. “Thor could you get me a drink?”

“Of course,” he said. Steve took a bite of the squash and waited until he was gone to ask his question. “What if…?”

Frigga waited patiently for him to finish. 

“What if I’m not ready… in time?”

“In time for what?” she asked. 

“You know…”

“Sex?” she finished. He nodded and blushed furiously as she chuckled.

“Thor will not push you into anything you are not ready for, dear,” she said. “You need not worry.”

“You know telling someone with anxiety not to worry isn’t really helpful,” Steve said with a laugh. She laughed as well. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” she said. She flipped over the next card. “Now this is a good sign.”

“What’s a good sign?” Thor asked. “I brought cider. It’s clean.”

“Thanks,” Steve said. “Apparently my relationship card is good.”

“It’s the two of cups,” she explained. “It represents that you and Thor are on the same page and that your relationship is harmonious. It’s a good card to have in your relationship place.”

“Does it mean that we’re soulmates or something?” Steve asked. 

“It means you’re a good match for each other, at the very least,” she said, her eyes twinkling. Thor laced their fingers together. 

“Thor, we might be good for each other, but I still need my hand to eat,” Steve said with a laugh. Thor kissed his hand before he let it go.

“You two are so cute, it’s nauseating,” Steve’s mom said. Steve stuck his tongue out at her in reply. 

“The last card, your outcome,” Frigga said. “The ace of swords. This is probably the best card in the spread. Aces represent new beginnings, and the ace of swords in particular represents making a breakthrough, which is what you’re after.”

“Well, thank God for that,” he said. 

“You just have to be patient,” his mother teased. 

“Damn it,” he muttered.  


* * *

The rest of the party passed more or less like any other Halloween party Steve had ever gone to. There were some people drunk on the cider, but remarkably, he didn’t react that much. Aside from his anxiety he wasn’t really having a bad time. Thor bobbed for apples and absolutely ruined his suit, much to Steve and Loki’s amusement. His new outfit when he came back was much simpler: jeans and a hoodie. And immediately tried again. This time he succeeded.

“I told you I could do it,” he bragged, taking a bite out of the apple.

“Sorry I ever doubted you, dear brother,” Loki drawled. 

“I never doubted you, babe,” Steve said.

“At least someone has good sense,” he said, striding over to him and kissing him. Loki made some kind of disgusted noise and comment about the two of them being gross, but Steve wasn’t listening. The fact that Thor was completely drenched didn’t even seem to matter. 

Then he felt it. The fear. The sudden onset of terror. It seized him like a back alley thief. He was going to die.

 _I’m going to die! I’m not ready to die!_ he thought frantically. The words raced through his mind at top speed, like a racecar running round and round in an endless loop.

His body began to tremble and his heart was racing like he was running a marathon. He began to break out in a cold sweat. He jumped away from his boyfriend like he was on fire. Thor moved back and looked him in the eyes. 

“Do you want to go inside?” he asked. “We do not need to stay out here.”

“Yes,” he managed to say. “Yes.”

“Can I touch you?” he asked. Steve nodded. He took Steve’s hand. His grip was gentle, but firm.

Thor led him through the crowd, careful to keep people at bay. Steve was shaking like a leaf as he was led away. It took all his concentration not to break into a dead run and break through the crowd of people until he was inside. To his surprise their mothers were both inside on the couch. Steve sat on the nearest available space on the couch. Thor sat next to him, holding his hand. He was talking to him about something but Steve couldn’t keep track of what it was. 

Their mothers, thankfully, did not approach him. His mother knew that when he was like this, he really could only handle one person at a time usually. Frigga left, but she returned later and handed something to Thor. Steve felt something warm and damp at his forehead. A rag. Or something like that. He focused on his breathing as much as possible. He needed to breathe. 

And then, as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. His heart rate slowed, his body normalized. He took a deep, slow breath. Then another. And another. He collapsed back against the couch with a sigh. Couch. Thor’s couch. Thor’s couch in Thor’s house. Thor’s hand was holding his. 

_God,_ Steve thought. He was so… tired.

“How long did it take?” he asked. 

“37 minutes from when Thor brought you in,” his mom said. “A bit longer than usual.”

“God,” he whispered. Sometimes, like when it happened at school with Thor after he had seen him have a panic attack the first time, he could laugh it off. Sometimes, like now and the first time he’d had one here, it left him exhausted and raw, like an exposed nerve. He was trying to do some of the coping mechanisms he learned to deal with the anxiety after his panic attack, but he was too high strung right now. He couldn’t focus on them.

“Do you need anything?” Thor asked. Steve sighed, the tears welling in his eyes.

“I want to go home,” Steve said. His mother stood and grabbed her purse. Mr. Baker held out her jacket for her.

“Thank you,” she said. “It was a wonderful evening.”

“Of course, love,” Frigga said. “You must come back sometime, we would love to have you.”

She nodded and ushered Steve out the door. Steve shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“I hate this,” he muttered.

“It’s not your fault, dear,” she replied. 

“I know,” he said. “But I hate that I’m not getting better at these.”

“You have gotten better, Steve,” she said, gently. “You used to shut yourself in our apartment for fear of having an attack if you left. You used to skip school for weeks because you were afraid of having one there. You used to hate having people see you while you were having a panic attack.”

“I haven’t been getting better lately,” he countered. “I still feel exhausted and I just want to sleep and forget about the world.”

“You’ll get there, Steve,” she said. “But for now, it’s okay to be tired.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I did the reading that appeared in the chapter. Thor and Steve's relationship is actually in the cards, in case anyone was worried! :D
> 
> Find me on tumblr at leisurelypanda <3


	22. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4/20, y'all! Smoke 'em if you got 'em! ;)

The next week, Steve walked into his session with Dr. Erskine feeling frustrated. After his panic attack at the party, his anxiety had been much higher than it had been. Not that his boyfriend minded, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was letting him down somehow by not being less… high strung. The meds and the various coping strategies he had learned were helping somewhat, but his anxiety was still higher than he wanted it to be.

“I just feel like I should be making more progress, but now I’m getting worse,” he said. “I went for weeks where it wasn’t that big a problem and now all of a sudden I’m more anxious and I had a bad panic attack. I mean, I had Thor, we were going on dates, it wasn’t a huge problem, but now it’s back and I don’t know what to do.”

Dr. Erskine nodded. “It sounds like things were going well up until this point.”

“They were,” he replied. “But can I actually have a boyfriend and not be terrified that I’m going to do something or that he’s going to decide that I’m more trouble than I’m worth?”

“Do you think he is the sort of person who would do that?” his counselor asked.

Steve paused for a moment. Did he?

“No,” he said finally. “But it’s hard sometimes to remind myself of that when I’m anxious.”

“Have you tried using any of the techniques we’ve discussed in the past?”

“I have, I just feel like it shouldn’t be as hard as it is,” he answered.

“What do you think should make this easier?”

“Just that I’ve been doing this for a while, right?” Steve said. “I’ve been practicing challenging my thoughts, breathing exercises, meditation, and all that for over a year, now.”

“But you haven’t been in a relationship with anyone in that year,” Dr. Erskine pointed out. “That is new.”

“But why is that different from any other relationship or friendship I had before?” he asked.

“Well, what is it that you want from this relationship?” he asked.

Steve paused again. He hadn’t thought of that. He was sort of caught up in the moment, in the novelty of being in a relationship. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. 

“Could you be satisfied with just being friends with him?”

“No,” he said immediately.

“Why is that?”

“Because I want more from him than friendship,” he said quietly past the lump in his throat. “I want the dates, and the affection, and the support. But I feel sometimes like he deserves someone better than me because I’m a mess.”

“Steve, just because you have a mental illness doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve love and affection,” Dr. Erskine countered.

“I know,” he sighed. 

“How does that make you feel? Knowing that you want more than what you have with your other friends?”

“Happy but… also like I shouldn’t be,” he said.

“You do not think that you deserve happiness,” Dr. Erskine observed.

“I guess not,” he replied. 

“Steve,” Dr. Erskine said, taking off his glasses. “I have seen how far you’ve come. You’ve made great progress since we’ve started working together. It is nothing to be ashamed of, having anxiety. It is normal to be anxious during the beginning of a new relationship.”

“But what if I mess up?” Steve asked. “What if my anxiety is right and he doesn’t really want me or my issues after all?

“What if it’s wrong?” Dr. Erskine countered. “Are you willing to let this chance to be happy go because of your anxiety?”

He thought for another moment. He thought hard. He remembered the night at Coney Island, their first kiss, how Thor helped him through every ride and roller coaster. He remembered the dance, the fondue, how he had literally spend a night in Thor’s bed and his boyfriend hadn’t tried to do anything he wasn’t ready for. He remembered the party, the bonfire.

“When I was at the party last week before my panic attack,” he said. “Thor told me that the fire for Samhain was for casting away old habits and thoughts and leaving them in the past.”

“Did you put something in the fire?” Dr. Erskine asked. 

Steve remembered the image of the little piece of paper being consumed by the flames.

“Yes, I did.”  


* * *

Thor woke up the next day feeling sullen. It was a rare thing, but it had been 5 days since Samhain had ended and Steve was still skittish. The worst part was that he had no idea why. Well, he did, he knew that Steve was suffering from his anxiety. But he was trying to be patient. Patience, however was never his strong suit. It was a challenge and part of him was regretting taking it on. 

He lumbered through his morning ablutions. He gave short, curt responses to his family that morning. He couldn’t understand why Steve was avoiding him. The past few days it seemed like he was lost in his own head. He was less affectionate, less receptive to him, and less responsive. It worried him more than anything.

He was silent on the way to school, ignoring Loki’s jabs at the way he was acting. Like every morning, they went to the usual place and Loki and Tony began to huddle together, kissing and whispering like… well, teenagers. Thor tried to do some studying but his mind was too preoccupied with his lover and whatever it was he was going through.

Steve showed up soon enough. Today was different, though. Whereas most of this week he seemed… depressed, today he looked more nervous than anything else. Thor was not sure if this was a good sign or if he was right to be worried. As he approached, Thor greeted him with a gentle smile.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Steve said in lieu of a greeting. 

“Of course,” he replied. Loki and Tony were busy making out so he did not even bother to let them know he was leaving. He doubted they would notice. 

They went to what was usually a secluded part of the school. Steve leaned against the wall and took his hand. 

“Thor… I’m sorry,” he said. “For the way I’ve been acting these past few days.”

“Steve you really do not--”

“Thor, please shut up,” Steve said. Thor closed his mouth. “Sorry it’s just… a struggle.”

“It is all right,” Thor whispered.

“It’s not, though,” Steve said. “I’ve been avoiding you lately and you deserve better. So I’m sorry.”

Thor paused for a moment, and laced their fingers together.

“I accept your apology, then,” he said.

“Which brings me to what I want to ask you,” Steve continued. “Um…”

Steve took a few deep, shaky breaths. 

“We… haven’t been doing… this for long,” he said. “But I was wondering… is this serious?”

Thor looked down at him for a moment and held his hand up. He took it in both of his and kissed his fingers.

“I have been in relationships before, Steve,” he said. “None of them were as serious as I am about you. I would not call you my lover if I did not mean it. I hope that you feel the same.”

“I do, it’s just…” he said. “I’m a mess, in case you haven’t noticed. I can’t promise that it’ll be easy or that I’ll always believe you when you try to reassure me. But… I’m willing to try.”

“As am I, _älskling,_ ” he whispered. “We will try to find a way. Together.”

Steve practically fell forward into his arms and Thor welcomed him in a gentle embrace. Steve wrapped his arms around his waist. The backpacks made it a bit awkward, but they made do. Thor could feel Steve trembling slightly in his arms, but not the way he shook when he was having a panic attack. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“I don’t deserve you, Thor,” he whispered. Thor’s embrace tightened at the words.

“Someday, my _älskling,_ I will show you how wrong you are,” Thor promised. 

“I look forward to it,” Steve replied, pulling away. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, Steve.” 

The kiss was unlike how they had kissed before. Those had been sweet and caring and sometimes even passionate. This one, however, was desperate and full of need. Thor took a hand and caressed his lover’s cheek. He could feel the tears flowing down his face. He wiped them away from his face and pressed his forehead to Steve’s.

“Thor,” Steve sighed. “I… I think I’m falling hard for you.”

“Well that is good to hear,” Thor said with a chuckle. “It would be awkward if only one of us liked the other.”

Steve gave a nervous laugh. “No, I mean…”

“I know, Steve,” he whispered. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m falling for you, too.”  


* * *

The rest of the day was blessedly uneventful. Steve, while not quite back to his “old self” seemed more comfortable around him. Thor doubted that he would ever really understand what it was like for Steve to struggle with this anxiety, or have panic attacks all the time, or live in fear of when the next one would happen. Even so, he could feel the exhaustion on him. 

“Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?” he asked Steve after school. They were hanging out outside the physics classroom. The school was officially done with the football season, much to Thor's disappointment. He would have to wait until the spring semester to play proper football, what Americans called soccer. But until then, he had a lot more free time, which was good for something. 

“Not really, why?” he asked. 

“Mother was hoping that you and your mother would join us this year,” he replied. “She's been trying to get you to join us for dinner ever since we started dating.”

“Oh. I'll check with my mom, then,” he said. “But it should be fine. We don't do much for Thanksgiving.”

“Why is that?” Thor asked. “Isn't Thanksgiving a big deal? I mean, we're getting the whole week off.”

“My family… lives far away,” Steve said. “And we don't usually have the money to travel, so it's been just me and her since Joe died.”

“I see,” he replied. There was something else there, but he didn't want to pry. “Well, I hope you come hungry. And it is a bit of a formal event, so dress up. It is usually a big event for my father, since he's a foreign diplomat and everything.”

“Does your family ever not have a big event around a holiday?” Steve asked with a smile.

“Well there is Yule, but that is usually because we've already had the big fancy Christmas party,” Thor said with a chuckle.

“What's Yule?”

“It is the winter solstice celebration,” Thor said. “It celebrates the passing of the darkest time of year and anticipates the coming of spring. Most of the Christmas traditions come from Yule.”

“It sounds fun,” Steve said.

“It is. It is… a drinking holiday, though,” Thor added. “You probably would not like it.”

“I've been getting better,” Steve said. “I was able to be at Samhain for hours before I had a panic attack. And that was random.”

“Älskling, I do not want to cause you distress,” he protested. “Are you sure?”

Steve looked up at him for a moment. Thor could see the wheels turning in his mind, considering what his answer would be. Thor admired his courage, even though he still worried about him coming to the celebration. Thor and his father could be… boisterous drunks. He worried about what Steve would think of him.

“Yes,” he said. “If you invited me to Yule, I would want to come.”

“We shall see, then,” Thor said. He took his hand and headed toward the front door. “For now, let's just look forward to Thanksgiving.”

Steve, thankfully, let the matter drop. Thor was really not sure about inviting him to Yule, much as he would like him to be there. He wanted Steve to feel welcome, for him to be part of Thor’s life. Thor also wanted him to feel safe. His mother would happy to have him, of course, but his father would probably be insulted… again. 

Still, if Steve could be brave and face his fears, so could he.

“Anyway, are we still studying calculus at your place this weekend?” he asked, breaking through his reverie.

“Assuming we do not get distracted again?” Thor asked, bumping him with his elbow.

“What do you mean _we?_ ” his lover demanded. “ _You_ were the one who decided that making out was more appealing than history.”

“I heard no complaints at the time,” he said with a grin. 

“Fair enough,” he said. “You're pretty okay at kissing.”

“Just ‘pretty okay’?” Thor asked. “Maybe I should try harder.”

“I won't complain,” Steve whispered. Thor hummed. Steve looked up at him, his eyes lidded, his lips turned up with the hint of a smile.

“I want to kiss you, Steve,” he whispered. Steve's reply was to stand up on his tiptoes and brush his lips against his. Steve's teeth nipped at Thor's bottom lip. Thor returned the kiss and returned the favor. This time, when he bit Steve's lips, he took full advantage of the gasp that gave him access to his mouth. His tongue entered and began to explore the familiar terrain. His mouth tasted like spearmint. 

Steve arched against him and Thor became very aware of his body. And Steve's body. And the way Steve's body felt against his. It was intoxicating. He broke away from the kiss and Steve gasped for breath. Some depraved part of his mind felt smug as he watched his lover catch his breath. The other part of his mind was aware that his pants were becoming… uncomfortable. 

The moment was broken by a honking car. He looked up. Steve's mom was there dressed in her nurse's uniform. She must have a late shift tonight. Steve looked back at him and gave him one last kiss.

“See you tomorrow,” he said. Thor hummed in response. He did not trust himself to speak. 

“Well, well, well,” he heard someone say in Swedish. It was Loki's voice. “It seems you have resolved whatever was ailing you these past few days.”

“Was I that obvious, Loki?” he asked.

“Only to people with eyes, dear brother,” he replied.

“Thank you,” he drawled testily.

“I am glad you are happy, Thor,” Loki said in a sudden switch. “He is a good man.”

Thor regarded him a moment, then smiled in gratitude. He bowed his head in acknowledgment of the compliment his brother paid him. They stood together in companionable silence until their ride arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Yule. The next major pagan holiday coming up. Should be fun. 
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! Also my tumblr is leisurelypanda, feel free to hit me up! <3


	23. 5 of Swords (Conflict)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's Tuesday? Jesus, I completely forgot. 
> 
> Anyway, a couple things. Y'all may have noticed the chapter title. Tarot is a thing that's heavily influenced the story at various points for one reason or another. So a friend of mine suggested that I name some of the chapter titles after tarot cards. In the interest of staying accessible, I'll give the meaning to said cards. If y'all are curious or have questions, please feel free to hit me up on tumblr.

Whether it was universal intervention or just bad luck, Thor’s father was in a mood the next day. Supposedly, it was because work at the embassy was going poorly. Thor tried to pay it no mind. Steve was going to arrive soon and the only thing that had placated his father was the promise that they were studying rather than hanging out. It was barely effective, however. 

“I do not approve of Steve Rogers,” Odin said darkly. “You would do better to put him aside and choose someone else.”

They were in the downstairs living room. He was trying not to let his irritation show. It was a challenge. It was still early for him and having an argument with his father over his first cup of coffee was not how he had wanted to start the day.

“Really father, are you so petty that you cannot overlook a simple misunderstanding?” Thor demanded. 

“That boy has no manners,” his father countered. “His interest cannot possibly be genuine. He wants something from you.”

“And yet you were perfectly willing to believe that Bucky and I were involved after nothing more than happening to run into us!” Thor protested. 

“Bucky Barnes at least knows enough to be courteous to his host!” Odin shouted.

“I would have thought, husband, that you were at least willing to listen to my opinion on the boy,” his mother said as she walked into the room. “I have met Steve several times and he was the picture of courtesy.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what that boy has done to deserve such high praise,” he said. “Did he tell you to get back or did he welcome you with open arms?”

“Odin you are being ridiculous,” she replied. “A panic attack does not mean that he personally slighted you on purpose.”

“Right,” he ground out. “A panic attack.”

“What reason have I given you to doubt me?” she demanded.

“Your gentle heart,” he said. “His sob story must have been a good one. It seems our sons have inherited it, unfortunately.”

Thor’s eyes widened at that. He could not deny that the words stung. He was kind, it was true, but he would have hoped that his father’s opinion of him would have hinged upon more than his choice of partner. Steve was the first he had not approved of. Although, both of his previous lovers had been athletically inclined. Steve was the exception. One of his previous lovers was manipulative and dishonest and the other had actually used him for his wealth and beyond that, he had only really been interested in sex, so his father’s judgment was dicey at best.

“Mr. Baker,” she called. Their butler materialized from thin air a few seconds later. “My husband will be sleeping in the spare room tonight. See that it is prepared.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. He vanished before Odin could protest. 

“You would kick me out of my own bed, woman?” he demanded.

“It is my bed as well, Odin,” she said icily. “And I will decide whom I share it with. You will not share it so long as you insult me or our sons.”

Thor decided that it was a good time to duck out before he was caught in the crossfire. He hurried upstairs and took refuge in the quiet, somewhat soundproof interior of the upstairs living room. He could still hear them shouting, but it was muffled to the point he could ignore it. Loki was up as well with Tony.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, sitting down on the couch across from them.

“Not at all, brother,” Loki replied. “Sounds like things are getting quite heated.”

“Do not go downstairs unless it is absolutely necessary,” Thor cautioned. “If you do, avoid the living room.”

“This is weird,” Tony said with a yawn. “When my parents fight it’s always really quiet and they go to opposite ends of the house until someone decides to cave and apologize.”

“If only that was the way it worked here,” Loki said. “This will probably go on all day. When is Steve coming over?”

“Oooh we having a double date day?” Tony asked.

“Perhaps later,” Thor said with a chuckle. “We are studying for the calculus test next week.”

“Ooooh studying,” Tony replied with a wink. “I gotcha. Just remember--”

“Tony--”

“--wrap it before you tap it!”

Thor sighed. Tony was like a wild, rambunctious, male version of his mother in some respects. He lacked her… intuition and empathy, however. Thor sat back and took a sip of his coffee, hoping the wondrous substance would help with the headache that was quickly growing. 

Steve arrived about an hour after Thor’s parents stopped shouting at each other. The tension in the air was almost palpable. Thor hoped, perhaps foolishly, that Steve would not pick up on it. 

“I get the distinct impression that something is going on,” Steve remarked. 

“Try not to worry about it,” Thor said. “My father is simply having a... difficult time at work.”

“Thor, it’s not as if I don’t know that your dad doesn’t like me,” he replied. “You don’t have to protect me.”

Thor sighed. “You’re right, I am sorry,” he said. “But enough of that, let us get some studying done. Tony is hoping for a movie night when we are done.”

“Tony’s here?” Steve asked. 

“He… spent the night.”

Steve laughed at that. Thor immediately took him upstairs, avoiding his father. The last thing he wanted for his lover was for him to run into the man. If this morning was anything to go by, it would not go well for him. 

Calculus was as riveting as ever. If it were not for the fact that Steve and Thor both had a somewhat firm grasp on the subject, their minds would have turned to mush as soon as they started. Sometimes Thor missed the days of algebra and formulaic equations and all that rot. Calculus was mind numbing. 

“No more, please no more,” Steve cried, slumping in his chair and falling to the floor. “I can’t take this anymore. Let’s just take the test and fail next week.”

Thor laughed, but his brain was not in much better condition. Long nights and endless homework and studying made for little energy for studying.

“Time for a lunch break, perhaps?” Thor proposed. Steve made a sound that sounded affirmative to him, so Thor got up and went downstairs. “There are drinks and snacks in the kitchenette across from the living room. Help yourself if you are thirsty.”  


* * *

Steve felt like he was dying. Not from anxiety, he was more or less fine on that front. But his brain felt like it was saturated with knowledge. If he looked at one more graph, tried to work out one more equation, it would certainly stop working altogether.

There are worse things, I suppose, he mused. He slowly got up from the floor and took a walk to the kitchenette upstairs. It was really just a fridge with drinks, ice, and water with some counter space and cabinets for snacks. Thor, surprisingly, kept a stash of junk food. He certainly couldn’t imagine Loki keeping anything of the sort here. He seemed more of the cheese, fruit, and veggies kind of snacker. 

Steve grabbed a glass and poured himself some water. Someone stepped up behind him. Steve smiled and turned around… to be greeted by the stormy visage of Thor’s father. He gulped, the witty greeting on his tongue dying at the sight. 

“It did not take you long to make yourself at home, I see,” the man growled at him. 

“T-Thor said I could help myself,” he said meekly.

“A likely story,” Odin replied. He stepped closer to him. Steve backed up until his back hit the counter. “What is it that you are after, exactly?”

“I-I’m sorry?” Steve asked. 

“What. Is it. That you. Are after?” Odin ground out. 

_Bully,_ some part of his mind said. Somehow that helped him to stand his ground.

“I don’t understand the question, sir,” he said clearly.

“People like you are always after something,” Odin said. “I want to know what you hope to get from my son.”

“I want nothing from your son that he has not freely offered,” Steve replied. 

“Do not play coy with me, boy!” Odin snapped. “You may have everyone else in this family fooled, but I know better.”

Steve huffed a laugh. “You may only have one eye, sir,” he said, “but you are totally blind.”

Odin stared down at him shaking with rage. Steve wondered where this bravado came from, why he was not shaking with fear, why his anxiety seemed to have taken a back seat when it should have been out of control. Odin opened his mouth.

“What is going on here?” said a voice. Steve looked around Odin’s frame to see Thor and Loki standing in the doorway. Steve stepped out from behind Odin and walked much more calmly than he felt over to Thor and his brother. 

“Your father was making sure that I did not need anything,” Steve said. 

Neither Thor nor Loki seemed to buy it. Thor openly glared at his father. Odin, rather than confirm the story, grumbled and pushed past them, storming down the stairs. 

“Steve, spill,” Thor said. “What really happened?”

He sighed. 

“Your father wanted to know what it was that I wanted from you,” he said. “He seems to think that I’m using you or something.”

“That makes more sense,” Thor mused.

“Our father, even though he is a diplomat,” Loki said, “is a bit dense when it comes to reading people, especially couples. Unless they want something. Since he believes that you are using Thor, he will be difficult to persuade.”

“Wonderful,” he drawled. He was already ruminating on the conversation in his mind. “I don’t suppose being nice and polite will help?”

“It is unlikely,” Thor replied. 

“So what can I do?” he asked.

“Honestly?” Loki said. “There is nothing to do. He will come around and realize that he is being foolish or he will learn to accept it.”

“That’s not as encouraging as I was hoping for.”

“If it makes any difference to you, _älskling,_ ” Thor said. “I am impressed and proud that you stood up to him.”

Steve blushed at the praise. “He’s a bully, no offense,” he said. “I’m used to dealing with bullies.”

“Indeed you are, my little hero,” he replied, kissing his head. Loki made a disgusted noise and walked out. 

“Anyway,” Steve said. “If it’s all the same to you, I don’t feel like studying anymore.”

Thor grinned. “What do you feel like doing?” 

“You mentioned something about a movie night?”

“That can be arranged,” he said with a smile.  


* * *

The movie was… all right. From what Steve heard from it anyway. He had sat between Thor’s legs on the couch while they cuddled, Thor’s arms wrapped around the front of his chest. It was some space adventure movie. Not long into the movie itself, the sensation of Thor’s breath against his neck roused him to turn around and spend the movie doing… something else. Thor certainly didn’t protest. Tony and Loki at some point decided to give them privacy, either out of some common courtesy or unwillingness to watch someone else do what they did all the time. 

So it was that when they were alone, Steve started to feel a new, exciting, and potentially dangerous emotion: curiosity. He was practically on top of him, he could feel his heartbeat accelerate as they kissed, feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. And of course, he could feel the soft strands of hair against his fingers, the scratching of his stubble against his face, and the deep, contented rumbling in his chest, but these were all familiar feelings. He was curious. He wanted to feel more.

“Thor,” he whispered. 

“Yes, Steve,” he replied, his mouth descending to kiss his neck. Steve arched against him at the feeling. 

“Can I…?” he trailed off. Thor was sucking gently at his neck and the pleasuring pain made it difficult for him to think. Then he stopped. 

“Can you what?” he asked, staring into his eyes. 

“Can I… touch you?” he asked. 

“You are touching me, _älskling,_ ” he replied. Steve glared at him and hit his shoulder. Thor just chuckled. “Yes, you can touch me, Steve.”

Steve moved one trembling hand up to the middle of Thor’s chest, feeling the beating of his heart. Thor kissed him again and Steve’s hand moved to his arm, feeling the muscles move and shift beneath his skin. His other hand travelled from Thor’s golden locks to his chest. And then, much to his shock, Thor gasped and moaned as his hand brushed lightly over a nipple. Thor actually grunted and arched into the touch.

“Was that wrong?” he asked with a bit of alarm.

“Do it again,” he replied. His eyes were dark. “Please.”

Steve gazed at him in wonder and, with his hand still trembling, brushed his knuckles across his boyfriend’s nipples again. Thor hummed again and captured his lips again. Steve whined into the kiss.

“Steve,” Thor whispered into the kiss. “Can I touch you? Please?”

There was a note of desperation and… something Steve couldn’t name. And maybe Steve was becoming braver or maybe he wasn’t in his right mind, or maybe he was too far gone but the thought of Thor’s large, gentle hands roaming over his body made him feel very, very alive. 

“Please,” he breathed. 

Immediately Thor’s hands left his face and began to roam down his back. He didn’t just roam, either, his nails scratched him gently through the fabric of his shirt and it sent shivers down his spine. Steve’s hands moved down his chest and onto his abdomen to feel the hard, defined muscles beneath his shirt. However, his hands did not travel past his navel. He didn’t trust himself to go that far, much as his curiosity drove him. 

He found that he hated this infernal garment. Thor’s hands wandered to his waist and Steve found himself arching against his boyfriend once again. Then, to his surprise, Thor shifted them so that they were lying on their sides and his hand wandered down past his ass to his thigh. At the same time, Thor moved to kiss and suck at his neck below his ear. That sensation, feeling Thor touch him there and feeling his suck at his neck, went straight to his cock. The moan that escaped his mouth was positively debauched. HIs eyes widened and a hand flew to his mouth. Thor meanwhile laughed at his expression.

“Please,” he whispered in his ear, his voice thick and low. “Let me hear you, _älskling._ ”

“Thor,” he whined. “I want you to touch me.”

“How do you mean?” he asked. Steve’s answer was to tug at his shirt before he came to his senses. He propped himself up and took his shirt off and instantly became aware of just how exposed he felt. His right arm rested over the bundle of scars on his right side but there was no concealing the scars on his collarbone. Thor’s eyes narrowed as he saw them.

 _There,_ Steve thought. _He’s going to hate them. He won’t want me. I’m damaged._

Thor’s eyes ran over him and he gently lifted Steve’s arm to reveal the other cluster of scars. He shuffled down the couch so his head lay directly over the scars... and he kissed them. One by one he kissed Steve’s scars. Steve let out a long, shaky breath and relaxed. His hand moved to his boyfriend’s scalp and he ran his fingers through his hair. He felt Thor purr against his skin, against the scars that held so much pain. He travelled up and began to kiss the scars at his collarbone. Steve gasped. It was… strange, but somehow erotic to be kissed like this. He breathed. Thor kissed up his neck until he reached his ear.

“Would that kissing actually made wounds better,” he whispered. “I would kiss all your pain and tears away until there was only joy.”

Steve felt his heart swell in his chest. He wrapped his arms around his lover and buried his face in the hollow of his neck. 

“Thor,” he whispered. “I want you to be my first.”

Thor froze. “Steve,” he said. “We don’t have to--”

“Not today,” he continued. “I’m not ready. But… someday when I am… I want it to be you.”

Thor gazed at him, his eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. He pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to his lips.

“Someday, my _älskling,_ ” he said, “when you are ready, it will be my honor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, my loves! <3


	24. The Sun (Good Fortune, Vitality)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 points to the first person who can guess which character the Sun is supposed to represent.

To be honest, Steve didn't have any idea what was going on. One moment he was asking his boyfriend to have sex with him someday, the next he was scared out of his wits. He and Thor spent more time together than ever. It was a few days before Steve once again found himself with his shirt off and Thor tenderly kissing the scars left long ago. Just like before, he found himself feeling exposed and vulnerable. Unlike before, Thor removed his shirt as well and their chests touched. Steve trembled against him. Thor made no move, however, to press his advantage.

Not that it helped with Steve's arousal. And this second time, he could feel the evidence of Thor's. And that, more than anything, more than being with him or showing him his scars, more than the idea of standing up to his father, terrified him. The idea that someone could somehow want him in… that way.

He could barely sleep at night, going over what he said to him, wondering if he made a mistake, whether Thor really wanted him at all or if he was just a horny teenager. He wondered if he truly was falling for him or if he himself was a horny teenager. He wondered if he would ever really be ready when Thor was ready. He even wondered whether all of this was a good idea. 

On the Friday before Thanksgiving, Steve awoke feeling like he hadn't slept at all. His alarm went off 5 times before his mom was forced to practically pull him out of bed so he could get ready for school. They barely got out the door to get to school on time. On the way to school, Steve looked down at his phone to see a text from his boyfriend. It made sense, he would usually have been at the meeting place 15 minutes ago by now.

Are you well?

I’m fine, I was just late getting out of bed, he replied.

I am relieved. See you soon :)

He smiled in spite of himself at the fact that Thor was worried about him. It didn’t help his conundrum, though. 

“Mom, can I ask you something?” 

“Of course, dear,” she said. 

“How do you know when you’re... ?” he trailed off.

“When you’re what?” she asked.

“...in love,” he said. His mom, thankfully, didn’t laugh at him. She smiled knowingly.

“It depends. You might think about him constantly, you might feel really, really good when you’re around them, you might feel really, really stressed--”

“Well, if anyone can accomplish feeling really happy and really stressed at the same time,” he said. “I think it’s me.”

She laughed at that. “You make future plans with him--”

“Like Thanksgiving,” he interrupted again.

“Yes, like that,” she said with a smile. It had been years since they actually went somewhere with a Thanksgiving dinner. Bucky always visited family elsewhere, so it was usually just the two of them. “You might feel safe when you’re with him and things that might terrify you don’t seem as bad if you’re with him.”

Steve remembered the night Thor got him to go on the roller coasters at Coney Island. He hated it, but somehow it didn’t fill him with trepidation like it did. He’d do it again. That was to say nothing of the daily fear that he lived with that he wasn’t living up to Thor’s expectations or that he was somehow failing him. Thor had a… soothing presence. Even if it didn’t help completely, it did help some. 

“I think I might be falling in love with Thor,” he said quietly. She smiled with sympathy.

“I know, dear,” she whispered, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “I know.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he confessed.

“Have you told him?” she asked.

“Well, a couple weeks ago I said I thought I was falling hard for him,” he said.

“What did he say?”

“He said he was in the same boat,” he replied. “But I don’t want to like… scare him off, you know?”

“Well, you don’t have to say anything just yet,” she said. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll be surprised.”

“I wish I could know for sure,” he said.

“I know you do,” she whispered. Shortly after she pulled into the school parking lot. “Now, dry your eyes and hurry on inside before you’re late to class.”

“Thanks mom,” he said, grabbing his backpack. “Love you!”

“I love you, too,” she said with a wave.  


* * *

Steve didn’t get a chance to talk to Thor until school let out. For a school that was about to go on break, the teachers were oddly insistent that they get shit done. Except for Ms. Foster, who seemed to understand that at the end of the day, no one was really paying attention to physics. Not with a week off school so within reach. 

“Have you been sleeping, _älskling?_ ” Thor asked after class. 

“Not really,” he admitted as they trudged down to the parking lot. They made plans to hang out after school today, to celebrate a break from school. “I’m pretty sure I went most of the night without.”

“Is it your anxiety?” he asked.

Yes. “No, I’ve just been working too hard,” he replied. Thor raised an eyebrow but didn’t contradict him. He wasn’t sure whether that was a good sign or not. Besides, if the bags under his eyes were any indication, Thor looked like he was short on sleep, too. 

“Maybe we can take a nap before we do anything else today,” Thor said. Steve snickered.

“Does the mighty Thor take naps?” he asked.

“The mighty Thor takes power naps,” his boyfriend replied with a grin. “Care to join me?”

Perhaps against his better judgment, Steve nodded as he stifled a yawn. He managed to last until they got to Thor's house. As soon as they were on the couch, Steve laid his head on his boyfriend's shoulder and fell right to sleep.  


* * *

_Steve was standing in the middle of a golden palace. All around him people wore garments that hadn't been seen in easily 1000 years. There were robes so regal he couldn't imagine the cost, warriors in armor that gleamed in the golden light. He couldn't help but feel like he was out of place until he looked down at himself. He was dressed in soft, form fitting blue robes with a burgundy tunic beneath._

_He looked up and, to his shock, he stood in the middle of a crowded throne room. The people cheered. Steve immediately felt self-conscious being the center of everyone's attention. At the end of the hall in front of the steps ascending to the throne was… Thor… on a majestic, white horse. Clad in glittering black armor that outlined his muscular form, a long red cape that dragged behind him on the floor, and a hammer, of all things, he was the image of royal bearing. His boyfriend beamed at him as he approached._

_When Steve arrived at the foot of the stairs, Thor dismounted and kissed him full on the lips to the adoring cheers of the public._

_“Welcome,” a voice boomed. Steve jumped and looked up at the throne. It was Odin, but instead of looking like a thundercloud as he so often did, he looked kind, gentle even. Strangely, he also wore an eye patch and he held a great spear in one hand. Next to him on one side was Frigga, smiling down at him and Loki on the other. Tony was there too, and he looked as out of place as Steve felt._

_“My firstborn son shall declare his intentions today before our court,” he intoned._

_“Huh now?” Steve asked. Thor walked over to him and took his hand in his, lacing their fingers together as they so often did._

_“My love,” he said in a clear, powerful voice. “I have never been happier since I have known you. Your beautiful heart and your warrior's spirit have enticed me like no other. With your blessing, I will make you my husband and consort. Will you have me?”_

_“Yes!” he cried. “Yes I will!”_

_“Let it be known,” Odin intoned. “That I, Odin All-father, bless and sanction this union!”_

_The throne room erupted in cheers and Thor captured Steve's lips in a passionate kiss. Then he lifted him up onto the horse. Steve gripped the saddle for dear life as Thor mounted the steed behind him._

_“I have you, my love,” he whispered. He gripped the reins and drove the horse into a gallop. They rode through the streets, people cheering as they passed and they kept riding until finally they reached the limits of the golden city._

_“Ready for the next adventure?” Thor asked. Steve smiled and laid a hand on his._

_“Always,” he said. Thor moved the horse to a trot and they rode out into the gleaming sunset._  


* * *

Steve awoke on the couch feeling somewhat disoriented. For one, he was lying down. His head was resting against something… not uncomfortable, but definitely too firm to be a pillow. He felt someone's hand in his hair and heard someone snoring softly above him. Another arm was resting protectively on his back. His arms were also wrapped around something warm. It was then that he realized that he was literally sleeping on Thor. Steve's body was nestled between Thor's legs and his head rested on his stomach. 

Thor's breaths were slow and even. Steve was in the awkward position of wanting to cuddle with his boyfriend but also wanting to do something. With nothing better to do, he thought back on the dream he had. It wasn’t like most dreams he remembered. Most were bad, based in some kind of fear, according to Dr. Erskine. This one, this one was positively joyful. It was strange. The image of Thor as a kind of knight in shining armor seemed appropriate. It did fit somewhat with how he saw him. He reached for his backpack on the floor beneath him and took out his sketchbook. He was going to try and capture that image.

Trying to draw something from a memory as hazy as a dream was always challenging. He had already drawn Thor. That picture was more or less done by now. He just needed to make a few adjustments. Motivation to work on it had been fleeting over the past few weeks. He looked up an image of a white horse for a reference. Having only ever seen horses a handful of times, and then mostly in movies or videos, it was difficult at first. He managed to get the dimensions right after a few tries. Drawing Thor on top of it would be another challenge. He went through half a dozen sheets of paper before he was satisfied with the outcome. 

In lieu of drawing dozens of separate, distinct faces, Steve decided to just draw the sun through a large, open window with Loki and Frigga in the background. He debated drawing Odin as well, but decided to forego it for now. Odin left a bad taste in Steve’s mouth. He couldn’t figure out why. The sun shone its rays down on the figures there, filling the room with the golden light from Steve’s dream. 

Steve set the drawing aside and stretched his cramped hand. His fingers had long since formed calluses where he held his pencils when he was sketching. He looked over at Thor. He was still sleeping, none the wiser, evidently. His face was gentle, serene. Stray strands of hair fell across his face. His beard was getting a bit long, but it was well groomed and neat, not like the messy, scraggly beards young people seemed to have more often than not. He honestly couldn’t imagine him clean shaven. He found his beard too attractive to entertain the thought for long. 

He leaned back against him. He relished the warmth of his body. Thor hummed and wrapped one of his arms back around him. Steve smiled and rested his head against his chest.

Then, whether it was bravado or if he was spending too much time with Loki, a wonderful, mischievous thought occurred to him. He moved up Thor's body and began to kiss his neck. His hand sneaked up to his hair and ran his hands through it, massaging his scalp. 

Thor purred. Whether it was in his sleep or if he was beginning to wake up, Steve couldn't tell. But he took it as a good sign. He continued his ministrations, moving to suck at his neck and sneaked a hand up beneath Thor's shirt to feel his body. He trembled. This boldness wasn't usually his thing. Maybe Thor was rubbing off on him. 

Thor hummed beneath him. He was beginning to stir beneath him. His hands began to roam over his body. Steve shivered as his hands touched his sides, trying not to laugh. His hands reached the small of his back… then went past it to rest on his ass. 

“Thor,” Steve whispered. 

“Steve,” Thor replied. His hands continued to grope him. Thor bucked his hips slightly and Steve gasped as he realized they were both hard. He bit his lip and moaned.

Thor's eyes fluttered open. His hands paused for a moment and Steve froze.

“Is this a dream?” he asked. He, perhaps hesitantly, squeezed Steve's ass. Steve moaned and jumped in Thor's arms as his boyfriend began to knead his ass. “If it is, it is a good dream.”

“No,” he whispered.

Thor paused and his hands rose up to his back.

“Please,” he whispered into Thor's ear. He pulled his hair, gently. “Don't stop.”

Thor regarded him for a moment. Then Thor kissed him and returned his hands to where they had been. It was the slow, lazy kiss of a man who had everything he wanted and Steve smiled against his lips.

“My little hero,” he whispered. “How brave you are becoming.”

Steve preened at the endearment. One of Thor's hands squeezed his ass again. The other snaked up below his shirt. Steve hummed as he felt Thor's callused hand caress the small of his back. He arched into the touch, pressing the evidence of his arousal against his boyfriend's. 

“Oh my God!” he gasped. He blushed so much he thought his face would burst into flames. He tried to get away, but Thor pulled him close and rolled them over so Steve was trapped between him and the couch cushions. He was completely shocked when Thor began to rut himself against him.

Someone made a disgusted noise. He saw Loki covering his head with a hand.

“If you two must hump each other,” he said. “You might want to wait until everyone's gone or find somewhere private to do it.”

Steve hid is mortification in Thor's neck until Loki left. 

“We can stop if you want,” Thor whispered. 

_Do I want that?_ he wondered. It was hard to think clearly. He wanted the physical proximity. He wanted to be with Thor, but… was he ready for their relationship to go there? It wasn't like they would go that far today, but still, it felt like a big deal. He couldn't help the surge of anxiety as he realized what his answer was.

“Yes,” he said. “I want to stop. I'm sorry.”

Thor rested his head against Steve's. “You need not apologize, _älskling,_ ” he said. “We do not have to do anything you are not ready for.”

Steve closed his eyes and breathed in tandem with his boyfriend. He felt his heart rate begin to settle. He released a shaky breath. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

“It is no trouble, my little hero,” Thor replied. He kissed his nose and sat up. “What's this?”

Thor held up the picture of him from Steve's dream. Steve had managed to get the rough outline of the picture mostly done. If he wanted to, he could start sketching with colors. 

“Oh. That,” he said. “It’s something knew that came to me.”

“Should I pose on a horse to help your process?” he asked with a grin. “I can ride a horse, if you want.”

“Do you happen to have a red cape as well?” Steve asked drily. "What about a suit of armor?"

“Alas, I do not,” he replied. “My heroic visage will be incomplete. I would like to see it when it is complete.”

“I can do that,” Steve agreed. “Speaking of completed drawings, I have this.”

He flipped to the page with the final edition of the picture he had started sketching some weeks back and handed it to his boyfriend. Thor held it gently. 

“You did this with colored pencils?” he asked in amazement.

“It's not that impressive,” he said.

“ _Älskling_ , I do not know what you compare your art to,” Thor said as he gazed at the picture. “But you are too modest. This is amazing.”

“Thanks babe,” he said. He wasn't sure whether to believe him. He personally didn't think that his art was that impressive. But it was rude to turn down a compliment, he had learned. 

“Do you mind if I show mother?” he asked. “She wanted to see it, remember?”

Steve fell back against the couch cushions again. 

“Fine.”  


* * *

Whether it was empty flattery or if Frigga genuinely loved it, Steve wasn't sure how to react. Frigga stared at it for a long time, her eyes wandering over every little detail examining. He sat still and waited for any word of criticism. She was silent, though. He felt a bit like he was in the hot seat. He was trying not to fidget.

“Steve,” she said. “This is truly remarkable.”

“It's nothing special,” he said. “I mean, it's just some scribbles on a piece of paper. I can't make real art like you.”

“Steve, false modesty isn't attractive on anyone,” she said. “What you have here is art as much as anything I've ever done.”

“But--”

Frigga set down the drawing and took his hands in hers. For the first time, he noticed that she also had calluses from practicing her art. She looked into his eyes with such gentleness that whatever protest he had prepared died on his tongue.

“Sweetheart,” she said. “It's okay to be proud of what you've done. To be happy with what you've managed to achieve. This is something to take pride in. Don't be ashamed of anything that makes you happy.”

Tears welled in his eyes. He wished, very briefly, that he wasn't such an easy crier. It made him feel weak. Frigga looked at him for another long moment and drew him into a gentle, motherly embrace. It was a bit like hugging Thor, actually. 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“My dear boy,” she whispered back. “Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! <3 
> 
> Also here's my [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) feel free to hit me up!


	25. Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day came with Thor having slept barely a wink the previous evening. He couldn't stop thinking about his lover. They had hardly spent a day apart since the week off from school had begun. He remembered the scars he had first seen a couple weeks ago. It was not at all what he had expected. When Steve said that his father had been abusive, somehow that did not lead him to expect actual physical scars. He felt angry any time he thought about them. So much made sense now. Steve's anxiety, his hesitancy, his self-doubt. Thor never wished to fix something so much or felt so utterly powerless in his life. 

He reminded himself that it was Thanksgiving, not a day for morose thoughts. Steve would be coming and, gods willing, it would be a peaceful day. He offered up a silent prayer to Baldr that his father would keep the peace today. Though he had never admired Steve so much as the day he witnessed him standing up to his father, his father was… not one to let something go. It did concern him, though it had not come up again in the days since.

He roused himself and stumbled downstairs. Mr. Baker was polishing the silverware in preparation for the meal today. He could already smell Mrs. Bianchi’s cooking. 

“Mr. Baker, can you get me some coffee, white, double shot of espresso?” he asked.

“Of course, sir.”

He groaned and sat down at the island, mindful of the delicate silverware on its surface. He massaged his face as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

“Trouble, sir? You're up unusually early today,” Mr. Baker remarked. 

Thor groaned again. “It is nothing.”

“Has it to do with the young Mr. Rogers, perhaps?” 

Thor scowled at his butler. The man could be very observant for someone who was so quiet. He must have made a face or something. 

“I wish I knew how to help him,” he said. Mr. Baker said nothing as he handed him his coffee. “I know that I cannot fight his battles for him, but I feel like I should be doing more.”

“Your support itself may be of inestimable value, sir,” Mr. Baker said. 

“Is it? I wonder,” he grumbled.

“Come now, sir,” Mr. Baker chastised gently. “You cannot think that your companionship and affections do nothing to assist him.”

“I do not think it meaningless,” Thor mused over a sip of his coffee.

“But you wish there was more to be done,” Mr. Baker finished.

“Exactly.”

Mr. Baker said nothing as he continued on in his task. Thor focused on the smells wafting through the air from the kitchen. He could smell bread. There was no sign of the turkey, yet. There probably wouldn't be any for a few hours yet.

“I don't know what you see in him,” said a voice that could only be Odin. “You would do well to put him aside and find someone who is capable of fully appreciating you.”

Thor sighed. _It is too early for this._

__

“Father I do not believe that he is as distasteful as you claim,” he replied carefully. “And he had the courage to stand up to you, which you cannot say about my exes.”

“The courage to be uncouth and discourteous is only a virtue for those who lack refinement,” his father countered. “He is unworthy of us.”

Thor snapped. One moment he was setting his coffee down, the next he punched his father in the face. The staff gasped as the master of the house stumbled. He was very, very quiet. He glared at his son and for a moment, then swung a fist into his stomach. Thor stumbled back as the wind was knocked out of him. Then he grabbed Odin’s neck, trying to get leverage. Instead they began to grapple in the kitchen until Thor managed to get the upper hand and kicked him in the stomach. Odin was knocked back and a rage flashed across his face. Thor considered fleeing. His father drew himself to his full height and glared at him. He steeled himself.

“You will not shame my lover,” he said.

“I am your father,” Odin growled. “You would dishonor me by choosing him?”

_Stop. Do not make it worse,_ he told himself. Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling very receptive. 

“You dishonor yourself,” he declared, “if you, my family, make me choose between you and Steve.”

They stared each other down. Thor's heart raced with each passing moment, wondering if they were about to brawl in the kitchen. He was not actually sure if he could take his father in a fight. 

He was spared by his mother appearing between them. She faced his father and though Thor could not see her face, he could feel the coldness emanating from her. He wasn't sure whether to be more afraid of her or his father. 

“He is right, husband,” she said. Her voice was quiet, but clear. “You dishonor us all if you refuse to extend the hospitality we promised.”

Odin scowled at his wife for a moment then relaxed in defeat.

“We will discuss this later,” he said as he left the room. As soon as he was gone, Thor released a breath he had not known he had been holding. 

“He will not forgive those blows soon, you know,” she said to him. “Even if you were justified.”

He sighed and downed the rest of his coffee. Maybe he would have time to work out and let off some steam before Steve arrived.  


* * *

Thor was having an unusual amount of trouble with his tie. His hair was tied back in a neat ponytail, his beard was trimmed, he was dressed in his best suit, but gods damn him, he was confounded by the tie. He was nearly on top of the mirror trying to get the small piece of cloth secured properly.

“Trouble, brother?” Loki said from the door. “You always were so easy to rile up.”

“Loki I'm not in the mood for your antics,” he grumbled.

“Come now, brother,” Loki said, turning his body to face him. He calmly and deftly began to tie. “I am only needling you.”

Thor sighed. Loki could not help poking fun. It was in his nature to make light of serious situations. Perhaps it was a blessing in a way, but Thor could not appreciate it at the moment.

“I heard about your fight with father,” Loki said as he finished. “Is it wise to antagonize him so?”

“You do not understand, brother,” Thor replied. “Your Tony could do everything that Steve has done and father would approve because of his family. But Steve cannot seem to find favor with father because of a misunderstanding months ago. Father cannot see past his own nose sometimes.”

“Father is unreasonable, yes,” Loki said. “And he has never let go of a grudge unless there was opportunity for gain. But you cannot allow him to goad you into foolishness.”

Thor grumbled. 

“Besides,” Loki continued. “You never know. He could get what's coming to him.”

“If only,” Thor muttered. 

“Indeed,” his brother said. “Now, Mr. Baker left to get you beau and his mother. They will be back soon. Wipe that scowl from your face and remember that this is a day for gratitude.”

Thor sighed, then he smiled. He embraced his brother warmly against his groans of protest.

“Thank you Loki,” Thor said. “You are right, as usual.”

“I know I'm right,” Loki groaned. “But do you have to be so sentimental?”

“I thought you said it was a day of gratitude, dear brother,” Thor teased, hugging him tighter. “And I am grateful for my dear brother, whom I love very much.”

“I take it back,” he groaned. “I hate you and I don't care if you and father quarrel. I'm never helping you again.”  


* * *

Steve arrived about half an hour later in a sharp suit and tie. Thor was pretty sure that it was the same suit that he had worn to their little rooftop dance for Homecoming. Not that he minded, Steve looked amazing.

“Steve,” he said as he leaned down to kiss him. “You look wonderful. And you, Sarah, look lovely as well. I am so glad you could come.”

“We're happy to be here, babe,” Steve said. Thor's heart warmed at the endearment. He took his hand and laced their fingers together. Steve was starting to use it more frequently now. Perhaps he was becoming more confident. 

“Dinner is not quite ready yet,” he said. “Care to join me in the living room for some fondue?”

“Fondue?” Steve asked with a hint of a smile. “Chocolate or cheese?”

“Cheese now, chocolate later,” Thor said. He remembered their last run in with fondue and the… find memories he had from that night. “But we’re in polite company so… just fondue today.”

“Shame,” Steve said. “I was looking forward to that.”

“And what, Steve Rogers,” his mother said with a smile as Mr. Baker took her coat. “Happened the last time you had fondue?”

And just like that Steve's face turned a lovely shade of red that was becoming Thor's favorite color. Especially on Steve. 

“Homecoming?” Steve said. His mother chuckled at his expense. 

_Well, he is not wrong,_ Thor thought with a chuckle. Steve turned to glare at him. 

“Well, I hope you made good choices over your fondue, dear,” she teased. 

Steve ducked his head until she passed. He shuffled awkwardly looking for all the,world like a fish out of water. He was cute when he was flustered. Thor could not help but find it endearing, even as he felt compelled to either make it worse or save him from his suffering. He offered him his arm. Steve raised an eyebrow but hooked his arm through and let Thor lead him. 

Thor did not lead him to the living room or to the fondue station. He led him past the dignitaries and the distinguished guests, the politicians and the businessmen. He did not know why any of these people were here. His father must have invited them. As a diplomat, he made many powerful associates and holidays were ideal times to “strengthen the bonds of friendship for our mutual benefit.” His father might be working for the Swedish government, but he took advantage of the perks the position offered. 

He took him to the back porch where there were fewer people. Loki and Tony were nearby, getting away from the attendees. Few took interest in them, honestly. However, that did not prevent a few privilege seeking exceptions from trying to put their single daughters, nieces, granddaughters, or those of close friends onto them as potential partners. It happened at nearly every party his father threw. Thor felt more than a little smug as he walked around with Steve on his arm. There were a few dirty looks but nothing serious. 

The sun was beginning to set. Steve leaned on the railing and looked out towards the horizon. 

“Is it always like this around major holidays?” he asked. 

“Steve, my father is a politician,” Thor said, wrapping an arm around his waist. “We do not know the meaning of a small family get together or observing holidays with only the four of us.”

“It just seems so…” he trailed off.

“Stuffy? Like everyone here is trying to get something from you?” Thor finished. 

“Exactly.”

“Trust me,” he said leaning back and looking down at him. “I have been attending these ridiculous parties for years. All of these people would stab each other in the back if they thought it would benefit from it.”

“Socially or literally?” Steve asked with a grinned.

“I would not be at all surprised if both happened,” Thor replied with a laugh. Steve chuckled.

“Well as long as the party is exciting, right?” he said with a shy grin. 

“ _Älskling_ , as much as I wish to be a gracious host and keep you entertained,” he said with a grin. “I do not think that going to jail is quite worth it.”

“Yeah, I think I prefer that you stay free, too,” Steve said. “I’d miss kissing you.”

“That is the only reason you would wish me to be free?” Thor asked, kissing him on the temple. “Not my handsome face, or my gallant rescues, or sense of humor?” 

Thor left a trail of kisses until he reached his lips. Steve parted his lips and sighed into his mouth. He came away and stroked Steve's face with a finger, lingering on his pouty bottom lip.

“You would not miss any of these things?” Thor asked. 

“Well, your ass looks much better in dress pants than whatever it is prisoners wear,” he admitted with a sly grin. 

“My arse?” Really?” Thor chuckled. “I believe, _älskling_ , that is the first time you have complimented that particular... asset.”

“I’m never complimenting it again if you’re going to do that,” he groaned. 

“Come on,” Thor goaded. “I do not mean to be an arse, but surely you can find it within yourself to say it again.”

“I know I’ve said it before,” Steve said. “Right, I said it at Samhain! While you were getting me food from that pig.”

“So perhaps I need to go bend over a punch bowl?” Thor teased.

“You know,” Steve said, straightening. “I suddenly find myself parched. Is there punch?”

“There is punch,” Thor replied with a grin. “There is the alcoholic kind and the non-alcoholic kind. I assume you wish for the latter?”

Steve was quiet for a moment. “I’d like to try the one with alcohol,” he said.

“Really?” Thor asked. “I will, of course, support you, but do not feel as though you should do anything you do not want to do simply to please me.”

“My counselor says it might be helpful to be… exposed to alcohol,” he said. “Says that being around it and knowing it won’t hurt me might help. And drinking it, you know, is the next step, right?”

“What about your medication?” Thor asked. “Can you drink while taking them?”

“I… haven’t taken my medication today,” Steve replied. “I have it, though, just in case.”

Thor, of course, admired his bravery. And he wanted to be supportive of his decisions. But he still worried. 

“Thor,” Steve said, looking up at him. Thor must have had a look on his face again. Or perhaps Steve was familiar enough with him that he was becoming easy to read. “You can’t keep me safe from my anxiety.”

Thor looked down at him and cupped his face in one hand. 

“I just want to help you however I can,” he said. “I cannot help wanting to keep you safe.”

“I always feel safe with you, babe,” he said. “And it’s not like I’m looking to get drunk. I was just looking to try the one drink.”

That did help to assuage his fears, somewhat. Thor offered him his arm again and led him to the punch bowl. He did not know what was in it. He preferred beer, personally. Or mead. Punch was too sweet and fruity for his taste. But it was red. So maybe it was strawberry or something. 

He filled a cup halfway and handed it to Steve. Therapy or not, there was no reason why he needed to have a great deal if it was going to be an ordeal for him. Steve took it after a moment and though he put on a brave face, Thor still noticed the tremor in his hand as he took the cup. Steve stared at it for a while. 

“Do you want to sit down?” Thor asked. “We can go back out to the porch, if you want.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Steve exhaled. They sat down on one of the loveseats where Steve continued to stare at the cup in his hand. Thor held Steve’s free hand and squeezed it.

“I am here, my _älskling_ ,” Thor whispered. “It is all right. You are safe. No one will hurt you here.”

Steve released another breath and, with trembling hands, raised the cup to his lips to take a sip. Thor squeezed a hand again and smiled. 

“You are brave, my little hero,” he said. 

“All I did was take a drink of punch,” Steve said with a nervous chuckle. 

“But for you it was like staring down a giant troll and daring to fight back,” Thor said. “I am proud of you.”

Steve took another drink. His hand still trembled but he was not as hesitant.

“It’s sweet,” he said. “Tastes like… pomegranates.”

“What do you think of it?” he asked with a smile.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not sure I know what the appeal is, but I’m not sure I’m ready to find out yet.”

“There is no need to go there if you do not wish it,” Thor assured. 

“Do you know what I do wish for?” Steve asked. 

“Name it.”

“Will you kiss me again?” he asked. 

“Gladly.”  


* * *

The meal itself was a chore, honestly. The food was good, as always, but the constant mingling and needling and small talk got to him more than it usually did. With a crowd this size, there was usually just a buffet line with various meats and sides that Thor assumed must be common for typical American families. Buffet lines, however, meant that Thor was expected to be courteous and charming to the people around him. Whether it was because of his fight earlier with his father or because of the empty charm and grace from the guests, the social aspect of the event began to wear on him. There was one man in particular who seemed to take interest in his athletic career. He had some connections with various high profile universities around the country that he offered, or tried to anyway, in exchange for Thor putting in a good word with his father. 

However, as much as he might want to tell this person off, he could not. As a member of the hosting family, it was his job to be welcoming to his guests, even if he was not technically the host. 

“Thank you, sir, that is a kind offer,” he said. “But I am afraid that I do not plan on attending college next year.”

“My boy, you have too much potential,” the man protested. “Don’t squander it just before your chance to shine truly begins!”

“Thank you, sir,” he replied. “I shall consider your offer.”

Another man and his wife seemed to take inordinate interest in his dating life, marveling at the fact that he didn’t have a girlfriend. He replied that he had no interest in women, to which Steve, gods bless him, had raised his hand to his lips and kissed it. The wife sniffed with blatant disdain while her husband muttered something about traditional values or some such. Thor bristled, but reminded himself that a brawl in the middle of a diplomatic party would not endear himself to anyone, least of all his father. Even his mother would be disappointed. So he turned his attention elsewhere. 

It was some time before he and Steve got through the line and were able to return to the sofa on the porch. Tony and Loki were waiting for them with the remnants of Steve’s drink. Tony seemed like he had had a few, despite the barista in charge being told that he was not of age. There were few enough teenagers at the party that it was easy to tell her which could be served drinks and which were too young. 

“There’s the two lovebirds!” he exclaimed. “Come to join us in our escape from the pomp and flattery?”

“I am not sure which is more popular this year,” Thor said around a bite of turkey as he sat down. “Trying to set me up with some distant relation or trying to get me to attend university as an athlete.”

“You don’t want to be the hero of your school and go to the pros?” Tony asked, his voice a little slurred. 

“I do not wish to play professionally,” Thor said. 

“That sounds dumb,” he said. He flopped over on the couch next to them. “What about you Stevie boy? Anyone try to entice you?”

“Just Thor,” he said with a chuckle. 

“I do not recall enticing you with anything,” Thor said innocently.

“So bending over the punch bowl was a coincidence?” Steve asked.

“You wanted punch,” Thor said. 

“Stevie!” Tony said, poking him. “Stevie, Stevie, Stevie, I thought you said you didn’t drink!”

Steve scooted closer to Thor. As much as they might be friends, this drunk Tony seemed to be making him uncomfortable.

“Lay off, Tony,” Thor warned. 

“We need to get you more drinks!” Tony went on, heedless of either Thor’s warning or Steve’s discomfort. “I wanna see what Stevie’s like when he’s not so straight-laced!”

“I’m only having the one,” Steve protested. “And don’t call me Stevie. Only Bucky gets to call me that. Or Thor, if he wants.”

“I am fine, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied. “I do not think the nickname suits you.”

“Come oooon!” Tony protested, handing him another cup of punch. “Don’t get gross! Steve, live a little!”

“Tony,” Loki barked. “Enough. He said he does not want any more.”

“Oh, come on, babe--”

“Tony, have you actually looked at him?” Loki demanded. 

Steve was practically huddling against Thor away from Tony’s badgering. He was as far away from him as he could get without physically getting up from the couch. Thor was finding it difficult to not get up and punch his brother’s boyfriend. For such a brilliant guy, he could be remarkably dense when it came to other people. 

“What are you afraid of Steve?” he demanded. “It’s just booze, it’s not like it can hurt you!”

Steve was silent and still. Thor set his plate down on the table, stepped between them, and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. 

“Hey! Thor, what’d I do?!” Tony demanded.

“You need to leave,” Thor said firmly. “Now.”

“But what did I do?! I didn’t do nothing!” Tony protested. 

“I will take him,” Loki said. “Come on, Tony, don’t you want to see my prank for father?”

Tony reluctantly let his boyfriend take him away. Thor sighed and sat back down next to Steve.

“Are you well, Steve?” he asked. 

“I’m fine,” he said. “Thank you for setting him straight.”

“Tony was out of line,” he replied. “It was no trouble.”

They ate their dinner in companionable silence. On the other side of the porch Thor saw Sarah and Mr. Baker laughing together. At least there was someone here who was actually enjoying themselves. 

“You’re brooding, babe,” Steve whispered. “Come on. It’s over. Let’s enjoy ourselves.”

“Am I that obvious?” Thor asked. 

“Well, I can’t speak for everyone else, but it is to me,” Steve said with a smile. He put a hand on Thor’s thigh. 

“Thank you, älskling,” he said. He looked out onto the backyard. There were a few lights set up so people could see in the night. The moon was rising, now over the horizon. The city was too bright for it to provide any significant light, but it was still beautiful. “Come, let’s dance.”

“Dance?” Steve asked. “Do we even have music?” 

“Come now, Steve,” Thor said with a grin as he held his hand out. “We are children of the 21st century. We always have music.”

Steve smiled at that and took his hand. They went out and Thor turned on some instrumental music and they began to sway like they did before. Part of him wanted to teach Steve how to dance properly, like a waltz or something, but he was content as it was for now. 

“You know,” Steve said. “Seeing how it’s Thanksgiving and all, I should mention… I’m glad you saved me from those bullies back in August. Thank you.”

Thor was actually speechless. He looked down at his lover who was shyly resting his head on his shoulder to avoid looking at him. He became so flustered so easily it was hard not to tease him sometimes. 

“I am grateful for you as well, my Steve,” he whispered. “I would not change anything that has happened these past few months for the world.”

“Really?” Steve said in disbelief.

“Why should that shock you?” Thor asked with a grin.

“I mean… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Thor, but I’m a bit of a hot mess,” he replied. “Surely I’m not the easiest person to be with.”

“ _Älskling_ ,” he said. “I am not perfect either. You’ve seen my temper.”

Steve was quiet for a moment at that. It was true, when Thor was well and truly angry it was a terror to behold, but Steve felt a little better knowing that he had never actually been on the receiving end of that anger. Merely frustration. 

“You do not think that you are worthy,” Thor continued. “But I must tell you, I do not think that I am worthy of you either.”

“But you’re so… amazing,” Steve said. “You’re smart and charming and beautiful and I’m just--”

“You are brave, creative, intelligent, and beautiful,” Thor insisted. “And though you may not believe me, I see it as the greatest privilege of my life thus far to call you my lover.”

Steve looked up at him with tears in his eyes.

“I want to believe you,” he said. “But I…”

“I know, my Steve,” he whispered. 

“What if I never believe you?” Steve said. “What if I’m too afraid?”

“Never is a long time, Steve,” he replied. “And I promise to do everything I can to help you.”

Steve rested his head against his chest. He was shaking again. Thor paused in his swaying and held his lover tightly against him. 

“I love you,” Steve whispered. Thor froze. “I’ve been meaning to tell you that, but…”

“But what?” Thor asked. 

“I was afraid,” Steve said. “I mean, it doesn’t happen this fast, does it? That only happens in stories and stuff.”

“I do not know about the stories,” Thor admitted. “But I do know one thing.”

“What?” he asked looking up at him again. Thor smiled and took his face in his hands. 

“I love you, too, Steve.” He pressed a kiss against his lips. Steve wrapped his arms around him and Thor grinned as he began to swing him around. Steve yelled as he was swept off his feet but laughed as they spun around. When he finally set him down, his lover steadied himself against him. And he wished that this moment would last, that they would be happy here and now, forever.  


* * *

Sarah Rogers watched her son dance with his boyfriend under the night sky and smiled to herself at the sight. Steve tried to keep a brave face, but she knew that he had been lonely for a long time, even with Bucky as his friend. She remembered the day he came home from that first study session months ago and drawn this new friend with long golden hair and eyes filled with joy and kindness. She knew at that moment that something had changed. 

“Are you enjoying the party?” She turned and saw the charming hostess herself, Frigga. She smiled and held a finger to her lips and nodded towards their dancing sons. Frigga joined her at the railing and watching as they swayed to some soft music she could barely make out. 

“They seem happy,” she whispered. Frigga hummed in agreement. “I’m glad your son could do that for mine. Steve has not had a happy life.”

“I am glad they found each other as well. Your son is a fine young man,” Frigga said. “The best that Thor has ever dated.”

Then an enraged roar sounded from inside the house. The two women looked through the window to find… the most bizarre sight. Frigga’s husband, Odin, was covered in glitter. Well, his face was. He was calling for his son, Loki, his sparkling beard ruining what would surely have been a frightening display. They laughed at the sight and turned back around to look at their sons. 

“Your son has dated other men before?” Sarah asked, wiping a tear from her eye. The boys, somehow, had not noticed the uproar at all. “He’s my son’s first.”

“He has, but they were not good for him. He has ever been quick to love and gives it freely,” Frigga replied. “I do not think he would ever admit it, but I believe his heart was broken by the last one.”

Sarah hummed in response. She knew something of what it was like to fall in love with the wrong man. It seemed like another life, now. Thor was swinging Steve around now and she could hear them laughing together. It warmed her heart to see her son happy.

“You said that your son gives his love freely,” she said. “Mine does as well.”

Frigga smiled and laid her hand over hers. They watched their sons until they kissed and turned their backs to give them some privacy. Bertie gave no notion that he had known what they were up to, but she noticed the knowing glimmer in his eye. Frigga shooed him away for drinks and leaned gracefully against the railing. 

“I know,” Frigga replied with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was fun. Hope Thanksgiving lived up to everyone's expectations. Personally, it's my second favorite holiday and one of the USA's few redeeming qualities. Comments and kudos give me life, as always, especially since it's finals week and they're actually killing me. x_x
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for random nerdy shit! <3


	26. Worship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack.
> 
> This chapter is NSFW. Enjoy! :D

Steve awoke in the middle of the night feeling like he was dying. He bolted upright in the bed that was definitely not his. It was too big. There was no rhyme or reason, he was suddenly awake, shaking, hot, and convinced that he was about to die. The worst part was that he had no idea where he was or what he was doing. His breathing became erratic. 

There was a voice next to him. He couldn’t tell who it was. A lamp turned on and he could see Thor sitting in front of him. Thor took one of his hands in his and squeezed gently. Steve saw him taking slow, steady breaths and he remembered to breathe. He took as deep a breath as he could, as Dr. Erskine had taught him. He held it until he couldn’t anymore. He repeated. Thor was saying something. It was a small comfort, though as usual, Steve had trouble following whatever was being said. There was never a time when the opposite was true, no matter who it was. But he appreciated the effort that people made to ensure he was okay during his panic attacks. Well, after the fact anyway. At the moment the only thing his mind could focus on was being terrified. 

Eventually the attack subsided and Steve slumped forward into Thor’s arms. He sighed and wiped his forehead. He closed his eyes and relished the feeling of Thor rubbing soothing circles into his back. He took a deep breaths until he felt calm again.

“Thank you,” he whispered. 

“You are welcome,” Thor replied. “Does this happen often?”

“No,” Steve said. “But they’re usually worse than a regular panic attack.”

“It is early yet,” Thor said through a yawn. “Shall we go back to sleep?”

“I can’t,” Steve said. “It usually takes me some time to get back to sleep after one of these.”

“What do you need?”

Steve looked at him. He laced their fingers together. 

“Will you stay up with me?” he asked. Thor kissed his forehead and rested his forehead against Steve’s. 

“Of course, my love,” he said. Thor laid him down on the bed. He didn’t say anything, just massaged his scalp. Steve didn’t say anything either. His fingers danced over the hills and plains of his boyfriend’s skin. Unlike the last time, when he had worn a shirt to bed with Thor, this time he was shirtless and the sensation of their flesh touching was… not arousing, but it did feel very intimate. The warmth of Thor’s body was comforting. 

Steve kissed him. There was no heat or passion in the kiss. It was slow and lazy. Thor wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer. His callused hands sent tingles up his spine and Steve arched into his lover’s embrace. Thor hummed against him. 

“You are beautiful,” Thor whispered. Steve, rather than protest, hummed as Thor’s mouth moved against his. 

“Tell me,” he begged softly. “Please.”

Thor, apparently, needed no encouragement. “I love your eyes,” he whispered. “Every time you are focusing on art, you get this furrow in your brow and a look of intense focus. It is incredibly arousing.”

Steve gasped. He felt his blush bloom and tried to pretend that it was from the heat of Thor’s body and the blankets. Thor raised a hand to trace a line from his cheekbone to the corner of his mouth with the back of a finger.

“I love the look on your face when you see something amazing,” Thor whispered. “Your whole face lights up like the northern lights.”

“You think my face looks like one of the natural wonders of the world?” Steve said with a breathy voice. Thor just hummed as he nuzzled his face. Steve relished the softness of his beard as Thor descended from his face to kiss his neck. He sighed into the kiss. 

“I love how your neck gets red when you blush,” he said. “Sometimes I wish I could spend all day kissing it just to see how much it makes you blush.”

“You ass,” he gasped. “You’re doing th-this on p-purpose.”

Thor hummed and Steve felt him grin against his skin.

“Yes, I am praising my lover’s body on purpose,” he whispered. “Because he asked me to.”

Steve gasped as he felt Thor descended further and kissed his collarbone, his scarred shoulder. He took his hand and kissed his fingers.

“I love your hands, their delicacy and skill and the calluses on your fingers,” he said. “I love how they make such beautiful art. I am amazed every time I see it. I love feeling them in my hair, rubbing my scalp when you kiss me.”

“Thor--” Steve whined. He was blushing in full force now. 

“Your entire body is pink, my love,” he teased. Then he kissed the center of his chest over his heart. “You are beautiful. I wonder how much I can make you blush?”

“I hate you,” he moaned. Thor replied by flipping him over on his stomach. Steve shivered as he felt his lover’s warm breath caress his back. Then, alarmingly, he felt himself start to grow hard, something he never expected to experience after a panic attack. 

“I love your back,” he whispered against his skin. “I love how it feels when I hold you in my arms.”

“Skinny?”

“Slender,” he whispered. Steve felt him move until his face was behind his head. He shivered again as he felt his breath graze the shell of his ear. “Every time I hold you in my arms I think that there’s nowhere else I belong and nowhere I would rather have you.”

Thor’s fingers ran along the length of his spine until they reached the hem of his pajama pants. Thor caressed his side gently and Steve resisted the urge to squirm. He was fully hard now and he was trying not to rut against the mattress as Thor praised his body in ways he had never imagined. His hand came to rest on the curve of his ass. He didn’t squeeze or take advantage at all, though God knew that Steve liked it when he did. He wasn’t sure whether to think that it was a good thing or not in this circumstance. 

“Your ass is one of my favorite parts about you,” Thor whispered into his ear.

“Perv,” Steve teased with a smile. “Not even trying to be subtle about what you want.”

Thor smiled and nipped at his earlobe, eliciting a soft whine from his lover. Then he kissed his neck again. Steve tried to focus on something, but he all he could really see was the outline of Thor’s jaw and his chest. Which did not help his predicament. 

“I have never been subtle about anything, _älskling_ ,” he purred. 

“Thor…” he begged. 

“Yes, my love?” he asked.

“I want you,” he whispered. Thor’s response was not what he expected. He took his hand from Steve’s body and kissed him gently on his cheek.

“No,” he said. “Not tonight.”

“What? Why not?” Steve demanded.

“Because you are distressed,” Thor said. “You are not in your right mind to ask this. I will not take advantage of you.”

“You were the one who ran your hands all over my body and worked me up,” Steve countered. “You did everything that you know I like!”

“You asked me to tell you what I liked about you,” Thor pointed out. “And I told you.”

“Yes, and now I asked for something else,” Steve said. 

“And I have said no,” Thor said gently. “My love, there is still morning. If you are still certain in the morning, I will gladly take you. But I would not feel comfortable doing so now. Please.”

Steve blinked. He felt himself soften at the words. Thor may have his interest at heart, but he still said no. 

“I’m sorry, Thor,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to put that on you.”

Thor reached up to caress his cheek. Steve looked into his eyes and saw that gentleness and… love that he had seen so often in the past few months. 

“Thank you, Steve,” he whispered. He turned the light off and Steve rolled over and closed his eyes, Thor’s scent on the pillows lulling him back to sleep. Behind him, Thor wrapped his arms around him and drew him close. Steve smiled to himself and let his lover’s warmth carry him to sleep in his arms.  


* * *

Steve awoke later that morning in the same position as he had fallen asleep to the light streaming in from the windows. He screwed his eyes shut and rolled over, or tried to. His legs were tangled with Thor’s, who was still sleeping soundly. Thor snored softly in his ear and even though he knew that his boyfriend was just sleeping, he couldn’t help but shiver at the sensation. He remembered what they had spoken of earlier, that Thor would be happy to have sex with him if he wanted to. He wasn’t sure, though. Maybe Thor didn’t want to do it last night because he actually--

 _That’s ridiculous_ , he told himself. _He was all over me last night._ He remembered Thor’s hands, his voice, his breath as he had made the exhaustive list of things he loved about his body. The memory went straight to his cock. He moaned softly as rutted slightly against the bed. As much as he wanted to… be with Thor, he thought he might be mortified if he woke him up by humping his bed. Then he felt it. His boyfriend’s cock against his ass. He froze. 

_What do I do?_ he wondered. This was a first for him. He didn’t want to do something wrong. Of course, what he wanted to do was get off. But considering that his partner was sleeping soundly, there was nothing to do but wait. 

Then he remembered something. The day a week ago when they had taken a nap together after school let out for the break and Steve had had that dream. He remembered how he had awakened Thor by kissing. 

_Maybe I'm spending too much time with Loki_ , he thought with a smile. He untangled his legs from Thor’s and rolled over. Thor’s hair cascaded over his body as he slept. Steve cleared away the hair, exposing his neck and leaned in to kiss it where it met the collarbone. He sucked on the tender flesh and grinned when Thor sighed in his sleep. He followed the vein in his neck up as he continued on, kissing, nipping, and sucking at his lover’s skin. He wrapped one around him and ran it over the smooth, muscled expanse of his back. His other hand reached up to tug gently at his hair. He leaned in to kiss at Thor’s neck again. He savored the feeling of his bristles scratching his skin. 

Thor hummed and shifted in his sleep, pressing his erection against Steve’s thigh. One of his hands reached down his back and grabbed his ass and pulled him closer. Steve gasped a moan as his lover squeezed it.

“Hmm… Steve,” he whispered. “I could get used to waking up like this.”

“Thor, I…” he whispered. The aroused fog in his mind made it difficult to think about anything but his want. “Please.”

Thor hummed and captured his lips in his own. He rolled Steve on his back as he rubbed their clothed erections together. Steve gasped into his mouth, his hands roamed over Thor’s body, his back his chest. He hesitated when he reached the curve of Thor’s ass, though. Thor seemed to catch it and took his hand and laid it on one of the firm globes. Steve breathed as he felt it for the first time. He squeezed and Thor hummed against his neck in approval.

“Shit, Thor,” he whispered. His boyfriend chuckled. 

“What do you want, Steve?” he asked. Steve paused. 

“What do you mean?”

“What do you want to do?” Thor asked. “We can go all the way, if you want. Or we can do something else. It is up to you.”

Steve considered his options, as much as his lust filled brain. He did want to go all the way, as Thor said, but… he wasn’t sure if he wanted to do that today. 

“I want to feel you,” he whispered. “But I’m not ready to go… that far. But… I don’t know what I want other than that.”

Thor hummed. “Then,” he said. “May I touch you?”

“Please,” Steve begged. “Please touch me.”

Thor reached a hand down to his erection and palmed him through the fabric. Steve arched into the touch with a moan that sounded mortifyingly desperate to his ears. Thor nipped at his earlobe with a chuckle. 

“Thor, please don’t tease,” Steve gasped. 

“Aww, but I like to see you coming undone,” Thor whispered. “It’s a thing of beauty.”

Steve tugged at his hair in retaliation. Thor chuckled lowly and captured his lips in a hot, passionate kiss. Steve reached down with his other hand and grabbed his ass again, trying to bring him closer, to get some kind of release. 

“Thor, please, touch me,” he begged. Thor just hummed against him as he rutted against Steve's erection. He moaned into his ear.

“I am touching you, love,” he teased as he ran his hand along the length of Steve's cock. “Tell me you cannot feel me touching you.”

Steve gasped as he moaned, arching again into the touch. 

“I hate you,” he hissed. “Jesus, Thor just touch me.”

“With pleasure,” he whispered. His hand disappeared beneath the waistband of Steve's pants and wrapped around the base of his cock. He stroked him a couple times and Steve released a wanton moan into Thor's mouth. The insufferable man grinned smugly and Steve would have told him off if he could think properly. Thor pulled away and used his other hand to pull his pants down. Steve gasped as the last of his garments was removed and he lay completely bare and vulnerable before his lover. He resisted the urge to hide himself from Thor as his lover took in the sight of him… and the sight of another bundle of scars on his thigh. Thor’s eyes immediately fell to gaze on them. Steve swallowed, preparing for the worst. But just like before, Thor leaned down to kiss each of the jagged, angry scars marring Steve’s otherwise smooth skin.

“I love you,” Thor whispered as he gazed up into his eyes. “You are so beautiful.”

Steve gazed back down into his eyes. Thor was stroking his cock in his fist, slowly, deliberately. Every time his hand reached the head of his cock he twisted it and it sent pleasure coursing through his body better than anything Steve had done on his own. 

“I love you, too,” he gasped when his mind remembered how to speak.

Thor smiled and got up on his knees, straddling his lover's legs. He shoved his pants down and kicked them to the floor. Steve's mouth went dry as Thor's cock sprang free of its confinement and bounced against his abs. It was… big. Longer than his and thicker as well. But those things were strangely irrelevant to the sight of his foreskin. 

“You're uncircumcised,” Steve said lamely. Thor chuckled as he pumped his cock slowly in his hand, as if to show it off to his lover. 

“You have never seen one before?” Thor asked with a cheeky grin.

“I've never seen anyone's dick before,” Steve confessed. 

“Truly?” Thor asked. He leaned down and looked into his eyes. Steve swallowed and breathed. His heart was racing.

“Can I… touch it?” he asked. Thor's reply was to take his hand and guide it down to his member. Steve's hand trembled as he wrapped around the thick shaft. It was… warm. Soft, but firm and somehow felt bigger in his hand than it looked. It was also leaking pre-cum. He gave a tentative stroke and Thor hummed in approval as he returned the favor. Some part of him was fascinated by the difference in their members, but he was too aroused to give it much thought. Steve quickly became more confident and began stroking his lover faster more firmly. 

Thor moaned against him and his grip on Steve’s member tightened slightly. Steve bucked into his grip. He panted against Thor’s neck as he gripped his hair. Then Thor suddenly released him and shuffled away from him. Steve whined at the loss. 

“A moment, Steve,” he said. He rolled over and reached under the bed and Steve stared openly at the sight of his bare butt. Thor emerged a moment later with a bottle of lube and rolled back over on his back. 

“Aww, I liked that angle on you,” he whined.

“Your next artistic masterpiece?” Thor said with a chuckle. Steve hummed and shook his head.

“I’ll just keep it for myself,” he said. Thor grinned and squeezed some lube on his hand. “But I’d need to see… more of it and I can’t now.”

“Here, allow me to make it up to you,” he said. Thor gripped him with one slick hand and started to pump him again. Steve bit his lip to prevent shouting at the feeling of Thor’s hand around his cock. Thor kissed him. Steve bit his bottom lip and buried his hands in his golden locks as he moaned into his lover’s mouth. Thor ran his thumb over the slit of his cock and Steve actually did shout his pleasure into his mouth.

“Pass me the lube,” Steve gasped, pulling away. Thor stared at him, his eyes dark with lust as he paused long enough to give his lover the bottle. Steve hastily uncapped it and poured a generous amount onto the palm of his hand and wrapped it back around Thor’s shaft. His lover groaned as Steve stroked him. 

“Fuck,” Thor swore. “Gods save me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve replied in agreement. Thor’s response was to tighten his grip on his cock. 

Steve grunted and moaned as he suddenly felt his climax come and he shot his load out onto the bedding beneath him. Some strands dribbled onto Thor’s fingers. His chest heaved as he came down from his climax and collapsed back against the bed. Thor fetched a rag and wiped the come from his fingers and the bed. 

“That was incredible,” Steve gasped. Thor smiled at the compliment. Steve looked down at his boyfriend’s still erect member. “Sorry, I didn’t think I would come so soon.”

“It is no trouble,” Thor replied. “Unless you intend to leave me in this state.”

Steve grinned and wrapped his hand back Thor’s cock and resumed pumping it. His other hand rose to tease his nipple when an idea occurred to him. He leaned in and kissed it, earning a surprised, but pleased moan from his lover. Steve took it as a sign to keep going and began to suck on his nipple while his hand stroked Thor’s cock. Thor began to chant Steve’s name intermingled with Swedish words that he couldn’t understand. 

“Steve, Steve I am close,” he gasped. Steve hummed against his chest and looked out the corner of his eyes as he quickened his pace. Thor grunted as he came, his come landing on his muscled abs in spurts rather than the thick ropes Steve imagined in his fantasies. There was still a lot of it, though. Steve continued to pump him until the last of the come was milked from his cock. He grabbed the rag and wiped his lover down and collapsed back against the bed.

Thor hummed and drew Steve closer to him and raised a hand into his hair and massaged his scalp gently. Steve laid a hand on his chest and felt Thor’s heartbeat. Now that he was done, he felt the anxiety rising in his mind. Worry over whether he was… enough. Whether Thor was satisfied. 

“I can feel you fretting, love,” Thor whispered, kissing his head. “If I did not like what you did, I would tell you.”

“Right,” he breathed. “Same.”

“I am glad,” Thor replied. “You will become more sure of yourself with practice.”

“You anticipate a lot of practice for me in the future?” Steve asked, laughing in equal parts nervousness and excitement. Thor grinned and kissed him.

“For you and for me, my love,” he said. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Steve hummed. “We don’t have to be anywhere today, do we?” 

Thor hummed lowly and trailed a hand down his body to stop on his hip. He pulled him closer to him and captured his lips in a fierce kiss. Steve whined eagerly into his mouth. 

“You truly are insatiable, _älskling_ ,” he whispered. Steve replied by grabbing his butt and squeezing. Thor laughed and rolled on top of him. “We do not.”

Steve watched in fascination as Thor grabbed the lube and reapplied it, making a show of pumping his cock. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve said with a grin. Thor hummed and pressed a hot kiss to his lips. “And hot.”

“You’re one to talk,” Thor said, trailing a hand over the curve of Steve’s ass and up his thigh. “You have no idea the things you do to me, _älskling._ ”

Steve moaned and kissed him as Thor ground himself against him. He was straddling Steve’s thighs and the sight of his very beautiful, very large, very naked lover over him drove him mad. Then Thor did something new and took both their cocks in his big hand. Steve moaned and bucked up into his grip as Thor began to jerk them off. His other hand reached up to tease one of his nipples and Steve gasped as he felt the callused fingers against him. Thor leaned down to put his mouth on his neck and began to suck and Steve thought he might just die from the pleasure of it all. His hands began to roam over the rolling hills of Thor’s body. He pulled his hair gently… until Thor growled against him.

“Was that wrong?” he asked, his hand flying away from his locks. He thought he liked that. 

“Do it again,” he growled before he returned to kissing and sucking on Steve’s neck. Steve moaned and reached up to bury his hands in Thor’s hair, tugging gently as he writhed beneath his boyfriend’s ministrations. Thor began to whisper something in Swedish again and Steve had no idea what it meant but it drove him up the wall. Steve started rutting his hips up against Thor's hand in tandem with his pumping and _Christ_ if feeling his cock rubbing against Thor's wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever felt in his life.

Steve felt his orgasm building again. “Th-Thor,” he moaned. “I’m close.”

Thor came off his neck and rose to his ear. “Come for me, love,” he said with the lowest voice Steve ever heard on him. Steve cried and came, his come shooting onto his stomach. Steve collapsed on the bed and gasped for breath while Thor pumped himself furiously until he grunted in Steve’s ear and he watched, transfixed as Thor's cock pulsed and his seed spurted out onto Steve's body. It was... incredibly hot somehow. Thor collapsed over him and gasped in his ear, before he moved to place a lazy kiss against his lover’s lips. Steve gave a breathless chuckle as he returned it, his chest heaving. 

“That was amazing,” he breathed. Thor grinned against him before he got up to fetch a rag to clean them off. When he was done he collapsed next to Steve and pulled him close, kissing him again. Steve smiled.

It was going to be a good day.  


* * *

Sometime around lunchtime, when neither Thor nor Steve had emerged yet from the room, Mr. Baker was sent up to check on them. Just before he was about to knock, he noticed… certain sounds emanating from the room and he thought better of it. He stepped back quietly, silently wished the happy couple well, and descended back down the stairs. He smiled to himself. 

_About bloody time_ , he thought. Those two had been making cow eyes at each other for months, ever since the baseball game. He took out his mobile phone and sent a text. 

_You won, madam. Congratulations._

_A pleasure doing business with you, Bertie. :)_ came the reply.

_I shall pick you up at 8:00 next Friday. Would Italian be agreeable?_

_That sounds lovely, Bertie. I’m looking forward to it :)_

Mr. Baker smiled to himself and put his device away to return to work. It had been a few years since he took a lady out for a date. He hoped his skills hadn’t become rusty since then. She was a charming woman and he found himself looking forward to it. But first he would need to tell Madam Frigga of his plans. She would no doubt be more than happy to give him the evening off. 

He began to whistle a tune to himself as he began his preparations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun. Let me know what y'all thought! Comments and kudos give me life! 
> 
> Hmu on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense. :D <3


	27. Plans Interrupted

They didn't emerge from Thor's room until well into the early evening. The sun was already low in the sky when they arrived in the living room around dinner time. Under Thor's shirt, his chest sported a new set of love bites from his lover's… enthusiastic affections. He did not mind. It was worth it. He felt more sated than he had in months. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if his lover's endurance would be similar when they went even further. 

Somehow Steve was surprised that they ate leftovers like everyone else. Especially after a day like Thanksgiving when their fridge had nothing but leftovers. 

“What did you think we did with our food?” Thor asked as he put his plate in the microwave. “Throw it out like barbarians?”

“I don’t know,” he said sheepishly. “You have your own chef and everything. I figured you had her cook all the time.”

“Mrs. Bianchi says that she makes food with leftovers in mind so that she can take her days off without worrying about our survival,” Thor replied. Steve laughed at that. 

Their family was already sitting in the living room eating their food when they arrived. Loki and their mother had similar, knowing smiles but said nothing. His father had a disappointed look on his face that turned his stomach. Whether Steve noticed or not was unclear. He did not mention anything about the looks on their faces.

“I trust you slept well, my friend,” Loki said grinning. “You were… sleeping for most of the day.”

“No complaints here,” Steve said. Loki's grin widened.

“Enough, Loki,” his father snapped. “Show some decorum, please. Some of us are trying to eat”

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean, father,” he replied. “I'm just making sure that Steve was… satisfied with his accommodations. Surely you would be proud of me for looking after our guest.”

“I am sure the boy would have told us if they were not,” their father drawled. “Enough, let us speak no more of it.”

“I’m sure the boy would like to speak for himself, sir,” Steve said. “Like I said, I have no complaints.”

His father scowled at him. Thor sat between the two of them to prevent his father from trying to start something. His father might be a charming host with the businessmen and politicians, but Thor was beginning to suspect that the same was not true for anyone whom he did not consider a peer. Perhaps not coincidentally, both his previous boyfriends had had politicians or something similar for their parents. His father had approved heartily of both of them, even though the first had been emotionally manipulative and the second was only interested in sex and money. 

There was a rugby game on. Germany vs. Ireland. It was in German, though, so Steve probably had only a vague idea of what was happening. Thor wondered how much he remembered from the one time they had actually seen a match together. His father was uncharacteristically somber. He practically glowered at the television. 

“Remember, we root for Germany in this house,” Thor said to his lover.

“We might have a problem, then,” Steve replied. Thor looked at him with a baffled expression. “I’m Irish. I’m obligated to root for my people.”

Thor grinned. “Do you make wagers?” he asked. 

“I have never engaged in gambling, Thor! Depends on the stakes,” Steve replied with a smile.

“Winner buys dinner for the next date?” Thor proposed.

“Deal.”

Thor’s father made some kind of disgruntled grumbling sound at the other end of the room. Thor ignored him in favor of returning his attention to the game. 

“You two are so dull,” Loki complained. “Steve, if Germany wins, you must join us for our Yule celebration this year.”

“Done.”

“Loki if he is not pagan he is not required to join us for Yule,” their father protested. 

“Nonsense, Odin,” his mother said. “We’ve had guests who don’t share our beliefs join us for Yule many times and none of them have ever complained. And I for one would love for Steve to join us this year whether Germany wins or not.”

“Mum,” Loki complained. “You’re taking the fun out of the wager.”

Thor’s father grumbled and got up to walk out of the room with his food. 

“And where are you going?” his mother asked.

“I find I do not feel like watching rugby today,” he replied. “I have some work to do before the weekend is over.”

They were all quiet for a while as they watched the rugby game. Steve was the one to break the silence. 

“I think I’m starting to grow on him,” he said. 

“Like fungus, perhaps,” Loki added with a wry grin. 

“”So long as he is here, I care not,” Thor said.

Loki groaned and rolled his eyes.  


* * *

Odin’s jaw was set as he strode from the living room. That boy was worming his way into the family at every opportunity, it seemed. He could not stand the runt. He was weak. Odin had known it since the first time he met the boy. Frigga disagreed, said it was a “panic attack,” that he could not control it, as if that made it better. The last thing this family needed was some crazy person who was sick in the head.

He knew the boy knew it as well. He could see the shame in his eyes. It tended to diminish at times, like when he had tried to figure out what it was that he wanted. He was missing an eye, but he was not blind. His first born wore his heart on his sleeve. It was… endearing to some, but it did leave him vulnerable to the wiles of those whose intentions were less honorable. He knew, though he suspected Thor would be surprised by it, that his son’s heart had been broken before. He hid it well. 

This Steve, he would do it again, he was sure. He would take what wanted from him and leave him in the dust, just like the last one and the one before that. That he was consumed by fear only meant that it would probably hurt more when it happened. There was no way someone like him could possibly be a good partner for his son. 

The longer this went on, the harder it would be to help him when it happened. But somehow, the boy had convinced his sons and his wife that his intentions were pure. Perhaps they were, but the road to damnation was paved in such intentions, as they say. His family was too kind, too soft-hearted to believe anything but the best in people. 

_We shall see, won’t we,_ he thought as he opened the door to his study. Perhaps he was wrong, but the gods damn him if he was going to sit by and let his son be hurt again if he was not. He would need to plan carefully.  


* * *

The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas break were the second most tedious time of year. For the students, it was the time of assignments and projects that all seemed like busy work while they waited for the upcoming weeks long break. The teachers probably struggled with getting their students to pay attention or care. This year was no different, though for different reasons. 

Steve could not get what happened between him and Thor out of his mind. Not just the sex, but Thanksgiving party, the dancing, the confession of love. Steve still felt like he was walking on air. The feeling was only marred by the anxiety that was always there. There was a part of his mind that wondered whether all this would last or when Thor would become bored with him. And as much as he tried to be rational, as much as he tried to challenge and change his thoughts like Dr. Erskine said, sometimes it was just there in the back of his mind. 

By the end of the first week, however, the combination of his meds and his techniques made it easier to keep that part of his mind in check. Steve was actually looking forward to their date. Ireland won, so Thor, much to his dismay, had planned the date this time. And due to Thor’s remarkable lack of subtlety, he knew that he had thought of some kind of surprise to get revenge on him for his team beating Germany. 

All he knew was that the date was starting after school let out for the day. Also that he should dress warmly. But considering that it was the middle of December in New York, that went without saying. Steve got cold easily, too, so during the winter months he was almost constantly bundled up in long-sleeved shirts, a jacket, and a coat any time he had to step outside. 

Thor, on the other hand, seemed to be one of those definitely insane people who went about in nothing but t-shirts and jeans unless it got into the lower single digits. Today for some reason, he had his letterman jacket with him. He wasn’t wearing it, it was just draped over his shoulder. 

“Um Thor?” Steve asked.

“Yes, love?”

“Why is your mom our chaperone this time?” he asked. 

“What do you mean? It should be Mr. Baker,” he said. Steve gestured towards the car waiting for them. Sure enough, Frigga was there waving happily at them. 

“I have no idea,” he said, walking towards the car. “I suppose we’ll find out.”

Frigga saved them the trouble of asking. Mr. Baker was getting ready for a date tonight and couldn’t transport them tonight. And as much as Steve liked Frigga, he couldn’t help but feel weird about her being their chaperone for the day. They could just as easily take the subway. It wasn’t like they lived in the middle of nowhere. Mr. Baker’s presence had taken some getting used to on the first few dates as well, but he wasn’t part of Thor’s family. 

Thor whispered whatever the destination was to her like it didn’t make that big a difference and Frigga cheerfully began to drive. The ride was fine, until they reached wherever it was Thor had had in mind. The ice skating rink at the Winter Village in Bryant Park.

“Um there might be… gentler ways of getting revenge on me for winning the bet, Thor,” he said as he stared at the entrance of the building. 

“I am sure I know not what you mean,” Thor said with a grin. “Ice skating is fun. And romantic. And it is winter, so it is the perfect date.”

“This is what I get for having a sexy Swedish boyfriend,” Steve muttered. Thor grinned at the compliment. “Winter sports dates.”

“Just imagine if we lived in Sweden. We could have done this for the first date!” Thor said with disgusting cheer. “I swear to you, _älskling_ , I will not let you fall… too much.”

“Thanks,” Steve drawled. “I feel so reassured.”

“Come now, surely you know how to skate,” he said. “We live in New York! Skating is a favored pastime in the winter, is it not?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “It’s just… it’s been a few years since I’ve had the chance.”

Thor smiled and led them to the skate rental. His mother fronted the money for the rentals and they got outfitted for the evening. Frigga, thankfully, took her skates and immediately left them to their own devices. Steve put his on and almost immediately felt like he was going to fall flat on his face, break a leg, or similarly embarrass himself in front of his boyfriend. As soon as they got on the ice, he actually did stumble, but Thor caught him before he could fall.

“How long has it been since you went ice skating?” he asked. 

“Well, I think I was 10 or something the last time,” Steve said. “So it’s been almost 10 years.”

“I often forget that you are older than I am,” Thor said. “But you are very intelligent. How have you not graduated yet?”

Steve bristled at that, in spite of himself. It was true, he was older than Bucky and Thor both. It was the same question his family asked on the rare occasion that they made it to a gathering. It was the same question teachers asked when they looked at his records and his grades. It was the same question he asked himself during moments of self-doubt and criticism. 

“I…” he said. “I had to repeat a couple years when I was younger.”

Thor didn’t say anything or ask for any more details. He usually didn’t when he realized that he had stumbled upon a sensitive topic. Steve appreciated it at first, but now that Thor was his boyfriend, he found he couldn’t stand him treating him like a glass figurine. 

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells, you know,” he said. “It’s all right.”

“I just did not want to make you talk about something you do not want to talk about,” his boyfriend replied. 

“I promise, if I don’t want to talk about something in my past, I’ll tell you,” Steve said. Thor smiled at that. 

“So why did you have to repeat a couple years?” Thor asked. 

“Well, I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember,” Steve explained. “All part of growing up in a household with an alcoholic. Anyway, they were a lot worse when I was a kid. They made me miss a lot of school. One year I was ahead of Bucky, the next we were in the same year. That lasted a couple years.”

“What changed?” Thor asked. 

“About a year before Joe died, he started getting a lot worse,” Steve said. “He would become more violent, stay out later, yell and throw things when mom or I didn’t do something to his liking.”

“Is that when you got the scars?” Thor asked.

“Some of them,” Steve confirmed. “The ones on my shoulder. The others came a couple years earlier. Anyway, after he hit me with the bottle that gave me the third set of scars, I became too afraid to go to school because what if he was home when I came back? So I had to repeat my second year of high school.”

They were quiet for a while after that. Steve used the time to figure out how to skate again. He wasn’t stumbling as much as he had feared, though Thor still guided them towards less populated areas of the rink. He did fall a couple times, but Thor was always there to help him up, even if the smug bastard did laugh at him while he was down. 

“I should tell you,” Thor said. Steve’s heart began to beat faster. He was right. Thor was going to break it off with him. “I’m leaving for Sweden for a couple weeks.”

_Wait. What?_ he thought. 

“Sweden?” Steve asked. “Why are you going back to Sweden?”

“My family always goes to Sweden over the Christmas holidays,” Thor said. “We’re leaving the day before Christmas and coming back a couple days after the New Year.”

“Oh.” Steve tried to hide his disappointment. He knew, of course, that Thor was from Sweden, that he probably had family there that he enjoyed seeing sometimes, but somehow that didn’t translate to him leaving for the holidays. Which again, made sense now that he thought about it. International travel was easier when you had the money for such things.

“Steve,” Thor said, pausing and taking his hand. “I am not going away forever.”

“I know, it’s fine. Don’t worry about me,” he said. “You’re going home, I understand.”

“Then why do I get the feeling that you are upset?” Thor pressed.

“Why would I be upset?” Steve asked. “People visit their families over the holidays, right? Why would I have a problem with it?” 

“You tell me,” Thor said. “You’re the one who seems upset about it.”

“I just don’t know why you’ve waited so long to bring this up,” Steve exhaled. “Christmas is a couple weeks away and you only thought to bring it up now?”

“I was under the impression that a couple weeks was plenty of time to tell someone that you were going to be out of town,” Thor countered sharply. “Should I have told you on Thanksgiving? What about before our first date? Or maybe I should have told you when we first met.”

“Don’t blame me for being surprised!” Steve shouted. People began to give them space. “The only thing we’ve ever talked about was your Yule celebration! How was I supposed to know that you were going to have other plans?”

“I’m not exactly looking forward to this either, you know,” Thor ground out. “I’ve been dreading this trip for weeks! I didn’t want to bring it up and ruin the mood!”

“Gee, maybe you should’ve gone with that, then,” Steve said bitingly. Thor scowled at him and let go of him. 

“Yeah. Maybe.” Thor left him in the middle of the rink and skated over to the edge and stormed off. Steve watched him go. When he was out of sight, he made his way carefully over to the side and sat down at a bench to watch the other skaters. Tears stung at the edge of his eyes and he sniffled, determined not to cry in public. It was bad enough that he let his emotions get the better of him and ruin the date. He didn’t want to be that kid crying in the middle of a park surrounded by people skating and dancing and having fun. 

He didn’t want people to think he was weak.  


* * *

Steve didn’t talk to Thor again all weekend. He ignored his texts and calls in favor of sulking in his room. He did some homework but he didn’t really pay much attention to it aside from doing the minimum to get it done. He picked at whatever food he ate and resisted any attempts from his mom to get him to talk about what was going on. It wasn’t until Sunday that his mother walked into his room.

“Steve, you’ve been brooding all weekend,” she said. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” he lied.

“Right. Fine,” she said. “You know I can tell when you’re lying, right? You can’t bullshit me.”

Steve sighed. She was right. She learned a long time ago how to tell when he was being avoidant. She had also learned that letting him be avoidant caused more problems than solved. It never really stopped him from trying, though. Avoiding his problems was so much more preferable than dealing with it. 

“It’s Thor,” he sighed. 

“What about him?” she asked. “Your date not go as expected?”

“Something like that,” he said. “He decided to tell me that he’s leaving.”

“Leaving?” she asked. “What do you mean? Leaving for good or just for a while?”

“He’s going to Sweden in a couple weeks,” he said. “Christmas Eve. He’s coming back sometime after New Year’s.”

“Okay,” she said slowly. “So what’s the problem? He’s from Sweden. It seems reasonable.”

Steve’s lips trembled. His mother came across the room and put a comforting hand on his knee. He laid his head on her shoulder.

“I don’t want him to go,” he said quietly. “But I can’t keep him from going. That’s not fair.”

She drew him closer and wrapped her arms around him and rocked him back and forth. He began to cry in quiet, shuddering sobs. 

“It’s hard, I know,” she said softly. 

“I just…” he said through his sobs. “I was looking forward to spending the holidays with him.”

“I know,” she said. 

“I don’t mean to say I don’t enjoy spending the holidays with you, mom,” he said. “But I was making plans and now…”

“I know,” she said. “We haven’t had many good holidays, you and I, have we?”

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “I know you did what you could.”

His mom had to work most holidays. That she had not had to work on Thanksgiving was an anomaly. It almost certainly meant that she would have to work Christmas as well. Hospitals were usually short staffed on the holidays and his mom always tried to make the patients a little more comfortable, bring them little gifts for Christmas and such. Not to mention holiday pay to compensate the workers was never unwelcome for a single mom trying to make ends meet. And Bucky’s family always went out of town as well to visit family. So, unfortunately, he usually spent Christmas alone. He had hoped that it would be different this year.

“I just wish you could have a merry Christmas, dear,” she said. “I wish I didn’t have to work every year.”

“Gotta keep the lights on somehow,” he said with a humorless laugh. “Christmas would be a lot worse if we had to spend it in the dark around a dumpster fire.”

“Does Thor know any of this?” she asked. “It might help.”

“No,” he said. “I don’t want him to feel sorry for me.”

“Son,” she said gently. “It’s okay to accept sympathy sometimes. Besides, he probably doesn’t know what to think about this whole thing. He deserves to know why you’re upset.”

He sighed. “I know.”

“I’m not going to tell you how to do it,” she said. “But you should talk to him at least.”

“Thanks.”

_Now I just have to tell him_ , he thought. _Great._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt your regularly scheduled fluff to give you _angst_! Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!  <3
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense!


	28. 5 of Cups (Disappointment, Regret)

Thor was feeling surly. He still was not sure why Steve was upset with him, but he had spent all weekend trying to get through to him only to be stonewalled. If there was one thing he found frustrating about his lover, it was that he was never seemed to deal with conflict. He was prone to sweeping it under the rug and pretending it did not exist. Of course, Thor’s method of dealing with life’s problems generally involved going at it directly or channeling his energy into working out, which could be problematic at times. 

Still, he would not be nearly so sullen if Steve would just talk to him. He wanted to know what he did wrong, if Steve was all right. If they were all right. The last thing he wanted was to lose him over something like this, especially when he did not know what he did. He tried not to think about that particular possibility. Gods willing, he would see Steve soon and they would have the chance to talk. 

He tried his best to ignore the happy affections between his brother and Tony. Maybe it was his current problem with Steve, but he really did not feel like seeing couples being happy right now. Steve showed up a few minutes later looking like he had been crying. Despite being angry with him, despite wanting to talk to him about their issue, Thor could not help but feel a pang of sympathy.

“I need to talk to you,” Steve said when he arrived. Tony jeered at the words and Thor turned to glare at him. He grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the locker. 

“You make one more comment like that about our relationship,” Thor growled. “And I will stuff you into a locker and leave you there.”

“Hey man, lay off!” Tony shouted. He struggled against his grip. “Steve, man, come on help me out!”

Steve just shrugged. “You got this babe.”

“Some friend you are,” he grumbled. “Loki?”

“Tony,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “You honestly had this coming.”

“Fine, fine,” Tony grumbled again. “I’m sorry, I’ll lay off. Happy?”

“Ecstatic,” Thor drawled lowly. He let him go roughly before he stormed off. Loki’s taste in men was… peculiar. He could not pretend to understand it. Steve caught up with him. He made no move to take his hand and honestly, Thor did not really feel like it.

“I’m sorry, too,” Steve said quietly. “I’ve been an ass and you didn’t deserve it.”

Thor felt some of the tenseness in his shoulders leave. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he had been hoping to hear the words. 

“Thank you, Steve. I just want to know what it was that I said to upset you so,” Thor said with a frustrated sigh. Steve’s eyes fell like he did when he was thinking of something unpleasant. 

“It’s just… it’s complicated,” he said. Thor crossed his arms and waited. Steve took a breath. “I was just… I was hoping that we could… spend time together over Christmas, you know?”

“I know, Steve, but is that really reason for how you’ve been acting?” he asked. “I was worried about you, you know.”

Steve’s eyes filled with tears. “I was hoping to not be alone this year,” he said quietly. 

“What do you mean?” Thor asked. His stomach dropped slightly. 

“You know how Mom is my only parent and she works at the hospital?” he asked. Thor nodded. “Well, she rarely gets holidays off. It’s hard to make ends meet and as much as she hates it, she usually works the holidays so she can get the bonus pay. Gotta keep the lights on.”

“What about Bucky?” he asked. 

“Bucky is usually out of town over Christmas as well,” he said bitterly. “Visiting family. And when Joe was alive, he usually spent the day out at bars, if I was lucky. If not, well.... So… I’m alone most holidays, especially at the end of the year. I… was looking forward to… not… being alone.”

Thor felt like he had been punched in the gut. He felt like the biggest ass on the planet for being angry at him. Steve… he had no one. Again. He gathered his smaller boyfriend in his arms and held him tightly as he felt Steve tremble against him. Tears escaped his eyes and flowed down his cheeks, sorrow for the inordinate suffering his boyfriend had experienced in his brief life. 

“Please don’t go,” Steve mewled into his chest. Thor felt his heart break and his grip tightened.

“I’m sorry, my love,” he said. “I wish I didn’t have to go. Have you known no joy in life?”

Steve held him tighter as well and at that moment, though he loved his family and his country and wanted to see them, he wished that he was not Swedish. There was nothing to be done. The arrangements had been made and his father would absolutely not make an exception for Steve. And Thor wept at the thought of his lover alone as no one ought to be over the holidays. 

“I promise,” he whispered against Steve’s hair. He smelled of apples and cinnamon, sweet and warm. It was just like him. “I will make it up to you when I return from Sweden.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said to his surprise. “I don’t mean to be so needy.”

“My love,” Thor whispered. “I think the holidays are the time when everyone’s entitled to be a little needy. And all you wanted was to have someone to spend it with. I think I can forgive you for being a little selfish.”

They stood there weeping together in that secluded corner of the school. Thor did not care that Steve’s tears stained his shirt or that people might see them. None of that mattered against the gaping hole in his heart, knowing that he would be added to the long list of people to cause pain to the man he loved. He wondered if he could forgive himself.

“Um…” Thor turned to glare at whoever had thought to interrupt them. It was some scrawny boy, a freshman or sophomore, most likely. “I don’t mean to intrude, but do you guys have to do this in public? Not everyone wants to see that.”

Thor saw red and before he knew it he decked the kid in the jaw. He went down with a cry of shock. He looked up at him in shock and fled. It was the first time Thor had raised his hand to someone who was much smaller and weaker than him and even though what the kid said had his blood boiling, it left a sour taste in his mouth. 

“Mr. Odinson,” said a nasally voice. He groaned audibly. It was the weasel, Mr. Frederickson. “Detention. And you Mr. Rogers, I hope you weren’t his accomplice in this.”

He felt his boyfriend stiffen against him. Thor wrapped his arm around him protectively. 

“Detention for you as well,” he sneered. 

“What?!” Thor demanded, taking a step towards him. He was stopped by Steve grabbing his arm. He looked at his lover, his eyes red and puffy from crying. Steve shook his head and Thor reluctantly relaxed. “Why?” he demanded.

“Inappropriate public displays of affection,” he said smugly. “Keep it to yourselves.”

Thor was tempted to kick his ass anyway as the corrupt little man sauntered away. It amazed him that there were people in New York who thought this way, but rationally he knew that bigots were everywhere. Even major cities in Europe had them. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, _älskling_ ,” he murmured, taking his hand. He sighed as they started to make their way back to his brother and Tony. It was going to be a long day.  


* * *

Thor was drenched in sweat. He had been downstairs working out almost as soon as he got home from school. His legs were straining against the weights in the workout machine. It was not as satisfying as lifting weights, but it was something. He was desperately trying not to think about Steve. Or Christmas. Or the holidays in general. He knew, of course, that there was nothing he could do. That was the worst part. He wondered which of the gods he had angered to be faced with so many problems that he was powerless to fix. 

Not that he wished it differently. He just wished that his lover’s life was not quite as unnecessarily difficult as it seemed to be. A shitty father who robbed him of a childhood, an illness that was constantly threatening to rear its ugly head, bullies and teachers who did not care to stop them, and now this. He let the weights slam down to the floor as he completed his rep. The resulting crash was immensely satisfying. His legs burned with the exertion, but he was still not satisfied. He had to stop, however, before he did any damage. He slumped against the seat of the machine. 

He hated this feeling. Helplessness. Powerlessness. Weakness. He could not do anything, not until after he returned from Sweden anyway. They could spend time together until he had to leave, but he still felt like he was letting him down. 

He sighed and got off to clean the equipment before he went into the shower to sulk. He stripped out of the gym clothes clinging to his skin and sighed as the hot water sprayed against his skin, washing away the sweat and grime. He sat down on one of the ledges and let the water cascade through his hair and down his back. It was an escape. He would take it.

He lost track of just how long he spent in the shower, but when he emerged the mirrors were completely obscured by the steam. He wrapped a towel around his waist and discarded his clothes in the laundry room before he headed upstairs. He could hear his parents discussing travel plans when he emerged. He circumvented the conversation on his way to his room. He did not want to think about Sweden. 

He was in the middle of pulling on some sweatpants when there was a knock on his door. He sighed. 

“What?” he demanded. 

“Is that any way to greet your brother?” Loki chided. 

“I am not in the mood, Loki,” Thor grumbled.

“Trust me, brother, I noticed,” his brother replied. “I just wanted to see if you were well.”

Thor sighed and unlocked the door to let him in. Loki’s face was shorn of any sign of mocking, sarcasm, or amusement. That was a good sign at least. Those who were not as familiar with him did not realize that Loki was not intentionally malicious, nor did he go out of his way to make light of people’s genuine suffering for his own amusement. He cared, it was just that he sometimes had a strange way of showing it. 

Loki said nothing as he sat on Thor’s bed. Thor leaned on his desk and waited for him to say something. A long, awkward silence stretched on as they waited. Finally, Thor was the first to speak.

“What do you want?” he asked more gruffly than he intended. 

“You have been acting strangely all day,” Loki said. “Tell me, Thor. What’s going on?”

“It is none of your business,” Thor grumbled. 

“Did Steve break up with you?” Loki asked quietly.

“No!” he said. “No, it is nothing like that.”

“Then what is it?” 

“You do not plan on leaving this alone, are you?” Thor asked. 

“No, I don’t.”

Thor sighed in defeat. “You know there are some things that I do not particularly want to talk about,” he said. “Has it occurred to you that prying into my business is rude?”

“Yes it did,” Loki said. “I also know that your brooding is a bad sign.”

“Fine,” Thor sighed. “It’s Steve.”

“What about him?” Loki asked. 

“He’s… upset that I’m leaving for Sweden,” he said. Thor explained what Steve had told him earlier that day. He had spent all day thinking about it. Steve had, too. It was a difficult day all around and truthfully, Thor really did not want to talk about it. Unfortunately, his mother and brother were nosy and seemed to be convinced that he should talk about whatever was bothering him. Not that he had ever done anything to warrant such concern, but still. 

Loki was silent for a moment when he finished explaining the situation. Thor sat next to him on the bed. It did help, talking about it. If just a little bit. He wished that Loki’s brilliant mind would reach some solution that he was unable to see. Alas, his brother remained silent.

“There’s nothing we can do, unfortunately,” he said. “But at least he has already been invited to Yule. You will get to spend a holiday with him, at least.”

“I know,” he replied. “It is poor consolation, however. I wish I could think of a way to make sure he would not be alone. I keep thinking that I have failed him.”

“I can understand why you would think that,” Loki replied. “But surely you know that this isn’t your fault. You would spend the holidays with him if you could.”

“You are not going to chastise me for being sentimental?” Thor asked with a rueful laugh. 

“To be honest, I’m a little jealous,” Loki said. “That you have someone who will miss you when we’re gone.”

“Surely you jest, Loki,” Thor said. “You have Tony.”

“Yes but,” Loki mused. “It’s hard sometimes to know what he’s thinking or how he feels. He prefers to let people think that nothing affects him.”

“Maybe he will, you never know,” he replied. “Come on.”

“Where are we going now?” Loki asked. Thor walked over to the kitchenette and retrieved two bottles of mead and handed one to his brother.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “You know I haven’t turned 18 yet, right?” he asked.

“It’s not like it’s whiskey,” Thor said. “And I think we could both use a drink right now.”

Loki smiled appreciatively and opened the bottle. They toasted as they drank. There was some comfort in the companionable drinking between them, even if it was just the one. Two brothers lamenting their lovers in their own way. 

“Thor, how do you know when you’re in love?” Loki asked a few minutes later.

“Why? Do you think you might love Tony?” Thor asked. Loki was quiet for some time, looking at what was left of his drink.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I care about him, certainly. But I don’t know if I’m… in love. Or if he would feel the same, if I was.”

Thor considered the question for some time. He considered his relationship with Steve now and his relationship with his first ex a couple years ago. 

“You are happy, especially when you are around him,” he said. “You are stressed, too because you worry about whether you are doing it right. You want to spend all your time with them and you do feel sad when you have to be apart. You think about him all the time and you wonder how they are doing.”

“Do you love Steve?” he asked.

“I do,” Thor said quietly. 

“I’m glad,” Loki said. “He needs someone who cares about him.”

Thor hummed in agreement and downed the last of his mead. Then after a moment’s hesitation, he grabbed another bottle. Just the one. He made a silent toast to his lover and drank. He thought about Yule and the various traditions that went along with it. He wanted to give Steve something to make the season a little… cheerful. 

_Maybe I’ll talk to mother about it_ , he thought. She was better at the gift giving thing than he was. He knew Steve drew and he knew he went through art supplies like wildfire sometimes, but he wanted to get him something more special than something he got all the time. Then a thought occurred to him and he smiled. He knew what Steve would love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, lemme just rub some salt into that wound that was the last chapter. 
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! Find me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense. <3


	29. Blessed Yule

December 21st came before they knew it. School had let out a few days ago and Steve had been relaxing with Thor, enjoying the break together while they could. The mood was marred by the sadness that he felt at Thor going away but he tried to put on a brave face and enjoy the time he had with Thor before he had to leave. Logically, he knew that Thor wasn’t leaving for long, but he couldn’t help the disappointment that refused to abate. 

Steve did not take his anxiety medicine that morning, but he did take his meds with him in case he needed them. He was genuinely curious about the drinking aspect of the holiday, even if he only planned on having one or two drinks. Nothing major. Steve definitely didn’t plan on ever becoming drunk.

When he arrived at Thor’s house early that afternoon he was surprised at how… festive it looked. There was a large, ornate wreath on the door decorated with holly, pine cones, and red ribbons that definitely hadn’t been there yesterday. It was beautiful and, shockingly, real. He could smell the evergreen and the pine from it. It was somewhat strange, honestly. People had wreaths and Christmas trees but in his experience they were always plastic. No one really had the money to buy an authentic tree or wreath every year. Except Thor, apparently. 

Once he was inside he was hit with the sense of déjà vu. It was so different. Like during Samhain, the entryway was decorated completely differently from the usual. There was holly hanging from the chandelier and more wreaths decorated the walls. Holly hung from archways where connecting rooms and from the windows. Various kinds of branches, some normal bare and some with some kind of red berries adorned the walls as well. And in the center of the foyer, there was an alter like before, decorated with the various kind of plants in the home and a pair of small figurines, one of an elderly man and the other of a woman. It was beautiful. 

“Steve,” Thor greeted him warmly. He leaned down to kiss him. Steve could taste… honey and some other kinds of warm spices on his lips. “Blessed Yule.”

“Blessed Yule, babe,” he mimicked. “You all really go all out for your holidays, don’t you?”

Thor smiled proudly. “Yes, but could the same not be said of most people when observing their religious holidays?”

“I don’t know. I’m not religious, but it’s beautiful,” he said. Thor smiled. 

“Come, we were just about to start decorating the tree,” he said, taking his hand and dragging him through to the living room. Steve gaped at the sight. An enormous tree stood proudly in the room reaching up to the high ceiling. There was even a ladder so that decorations could be placed on the upper branches that couldn’t be reached. And it was gorgeous. Odin was at the top of the ladder stringing lights around the tree while Mr. Baker held the ladder steady. Frigga turned as they entered the room and smiled. 

“Welcome Steve,” she said, hugging him warmly. “Blessed Yule.”

Steve repeated the greeting dutifully. 

“You’re just in time to help us celebrate,” she said, leading him to the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink? We have some eggnog, the nonalcoholic and the alcoholic kind, some mead, beer, glogg--”

“Grog?” he asked. 

“No, glogg,” she corrected. “It’s a red wine mulled with spices like cinnamon, clove, orange, cardamom, ginger. It’s a Swedish specialty. It’s delicious.”

She poured a bit in a mug and offered it to him. It was a good thing that his medication was a mild tranquilizer rather than a full blown antianxiety medication like he had when he first started out. He could certainly smell the spices she mentioned, though he wasn’t familiar with most of their flavors. He took a cautious sip. It was sweeter than he expected. The spices didn’t overwhelm the drink and he found that he liked it quite a bit. 

“That’s good,” he said. “That’s very good.”

“Do you want some more?” she asked. He nodded. She took his mug and added a mixture of raisins and almonds before she poured the drink into the mug and topped it with cranberries. Steve took a sip. It was sweeter than before and the flavors of the fruits and almonds added to the appeal. 

“Do take it easy, though,” she warned. “It’s stronger than it seems. We don’t want you drinking more than you are ready for.”

He sipped it more carefully and returned to the living room. The lights were almost finished being wrapped around the tree. 

“So what’s the story behind Yule, anyway?” Steve asked. “Is it similar to Christmas at all?”

“In some ways,” Thor said. “Most religions have some kind of celebration around the winter solstice to celebrate the end of the darkest night and return of the light.”

“Is that why there’s so many lights for Christmas?” Steve asked.

“Well most Christmas traditions come from Yule in some way,” he replied. “Like the tree, the wreaths, hanging up lights, and the mistletoe, of course.”

“Mistletoe is from Yule?” Steve asked with a smile. “I don’t remember that from elementary school.”

“I will be happy to… fill the gaps in your education,” Thor murmured as he pressed a kiss to Steve’s lips. Maybe it was the wine, but Steve’s smile grew.

“I look forward to it,” he whispered.

“Will you two stop snogging for a second and plug in the lights?” Odin shouted from the top of the tree. Thor chuckled lowly before he left to do as requested. The tree lit up in a brilliant display of golden lights and the Odinson household cheered. Odin ambled down the ladder and the family gathered around to start decorating. Frigga handed Steve some ribbons to tie around the branches. 

The whole process took about an hour and a half between the drinking, the singing, and the actual decorating. Steve was surprised to learn that Thor was the only one in the family who couldn’t sing. He was also the one who sang the loudest, drowning out everyone else. Steve found himself laughing with his hands covering his ears at the display. Thor made a show at pouting and sang even louder. 

“Stop!” he shouted. “Please have mercy! My ears!”

“You cannot silence my golden pipes!” Thor protested. He continued singing the little holiday diddy at the top of his lungs. Steve was saved by the grace of Frigga, who told him to be quiet and make himself useful by putting some more decorations on the tree. She also handed him a couple more ornaments.

“Enjoying yourself, dear?” she asked. 

“As long as Thor isn’t singing,” he laughed. She laughed with him.

“I’m sure I don’t know where he gets it,” she said. “No one else in the family is so atrocious at singing, yet he is the one who enjoys it the most.”

“I would have thought that he would have a good baritone voice or something,” Steve said. 

“Well, he has a bad baritone,” she said with a smile.

“I can hear you, you know,” Thor shouted from the other side from the tree. 

“You know it’s rude to eavesdrop, babe,” Steve replied. 

“So is gossip,” he said, coming around the tree. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist. “So where does that leave us?”

Steve giggled. He was on his second mug of the glogg. Thor became suddenly serious and took the mug from his hand and set it aside. 

“My love, I think you have had enough of that for now,” he said. Mr. Baker appeared with a tall glass of water. “Please, drink all of this.” 

“Why?” he said as he took the glass.

“It will help keep you hydrated,” he answered. Steve took a gulp of the water.

“So what do you do on Yule?” he asked. “Why’s it important?” 

“Well in Norse tradition, it’s a time of honoring Baldr,” Thor explained.

“Who is Baldr?”

“He was the god of light and the sun,” Thor said. “He was also the most beautiful and beloved of the gods. His mother Frigga, who was skilled in divining the fates of all things and in changing them, saw that he would be killed. To prevent this from happening, she sought out every living thing and made them swear that they would not harm him.

“After this, the gods would entertain themselves by hurling objects at him and laughing when the fell harmlessly to the ground. They marveled at his invincibility. One god saw their folly: Loki. He went to Frigga and asked her if there was any being that she had neglected to ask for the oath in her quest. She confessed that she had neglected to ask one thing: mistletoe. She said that it was such a small, harmless plant that she did not think it would pose a threat.

“So Loki took some mistletoe and fashioned a spear from it. He gave it to the blind god of darkness, Baldr’s brother, Hodr, and convinced him to throw it at Baldr while the gods were celebrating. The spear pierced him and he fell down dead. All the gods mourned him so much that they decided that one of them should go down to Helheim, the land of the dead, to beg its queen, Hel, to restore the dead god to life. 

“She agreed, on the condition that every living thing that loved him, mourned for him. So the gods went out to get everyone to mourn for him. But one being did not, a giantess who lived in a cave. She refused, saying that Hel should be allowed to keep what was hers. And so Baldr remained in Helheim. Legend says that when Ragnarok, the last battle, is complete, Baldr will return to lead the world back to the light.”

Steve whistled then he looked at Loki. “Why’d you kill him, man?”

“I didn’t kill him,” Loki replied with a sly grin. “My god killed him. That I share his name is coincidental.”

“Your god?”

“We all honor the gods,” Frigga explained. “But each of us has one or two that we pay special attention. Loki honors his namesake.”

“You named your son after the trickster god?” Steve asked, bemused. 

“There’s an important lesson in the story,” she said. “Frigga went through all that trouble to change fate, and then the gods decided to test it. Don’t flirt with death and act surprised if she returns her affections.”

“So what does this have to do with Yule?” Steve asked. 

“We remember, mourn, and honor Baldr on the longest night of the year,” Frigga said. “Then we celebrate and await his return at the beginning of the new cycle when Ragnarok is over.”

“It usually involves drinking, feasting, and staying up until sunrise,” Thor said cheerfully. “Oaths are taken very seriously at Yule, too.”

“That’s the best part,” Loki said. “Seeing what promises you can get out of people.”

“We’re staying up all night?” Steve asked. He looked down at his glass. He seemed to have drank it all during Thor’s story.

“If you’re up for it,” Odin said, glowering at him from the tree. That sounded like a challenge if Steve had ever heard one. And Steve was not about to let Thor’s grumpy father get the last laugh. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he seemed braver for some reason.

“The question is,” Steve said. “Are you up for it, old man?” 

Whistles and cheers sounded from the others as Steve and Odin stared each other down, not unlike the last time it happened. Then, to his surprise, Odin smiled. Not out of approval, but as an acceptance of the challenge. Steve had a feeling that this would be an interesting night.  


* * *

Some hours later, after dinner had been consumed, The family went off in different directions to see to their own festivities. Odin and Frigga went around the house burning something Thor called smudge sticks that filled the house with scents like rosemary, pine, and cedar. It might not be Christmas, but it certainly smelled like it. Loki was sewing something called poppets to look like gingerbread people, which Thor said were meant to attract something during the new year, like love, prosperity, or protection. 

“So what do you do?” Steve asked Thor. they were sitting on the couch admiring the tree. Thor was on his 5th drink, whereas Steve had decided he was done for the night at his third. HI shead was clearing up and he decided that while the buzz was interesting, he had no real interest in experiencing drunkenness. He was afraid of what could happen. But he trust Thor enough that he was mostly relaxed around him while he was drinking. 

“Well, I do have a personal favorite,” he said. He set his drink down on the coffee table and held up some kind of weed. He wiggled his eyebrows. 

“What is that?” Steve said. “And why do you seem excited about it?”

“Mistletoe,” Thor said. Steve immediately blushed. “You know the tradition, yes?”

Steve pressed a light, teasing kiss to Thor’s lips.

“Happy?” he asked, his voice lower and huskier than he meant it. Thor pouted. 

“You tease,” he whined. Steve grinned and pressed another longer kiss to his lips. Thor returned it gently, opening his mouth to grant Steve access. Steve straddled his lover’s hips to get better leverage. His lover’s hands immediately went to his back and wandered down until one found its perch on the curve of his ass and the other groped his thigh. He could taste the honey and cinnamon on his tongue from the mead he’d been drinking. It was… intoxicating. 

Thor bucked his hips and Steve gasped as he felt Thor’s arousal against his own. His jeans were suddenly very uncomfortable. He tugged at Thor’s hair, urging him on--

Someone cleared their throat. Steve practically jumped off Thor. His blush grew even more when he realized who caught them. Odin. Frigga was covering her mouth with a hand, but there was amusement in her eyes as she regarded them. Odin looked annoyed more than anything. 

“The next time the… mood strikes you,” he ground out. “Please find some place more private. There are other people in the house, you know.”

Steve looked down at the floor as he nodded. He could not meet Odin’s eye.

“Sorry father,” Thor said. 

Steve considered letting the couch swallowing him when Odin huffed and walked out. He looked up in time to see Frigga give them a conspiratorial wink before she followed. As soon as they were gone, Thor reached over for him to take his hand. Steve avoided his touch. 

“I need some air,” he said as he got up. “I’ll be back soon.”

He reached the porch and exhaled, watching his cloud of breath appear, then vanish before his eyes. He didn’t particularly like the cold or the winter. It was hard to appreciate the cold when there were months when his mom wasn’t sure if she would have the money to pay the heating bill. That concern had vanished when Joe died. Not having someone drain the finances buying drinks did marvels for the budget, it seemed. 

Still, there were times when he relished the cold. Like now, when he needed to clear his head. He looked up at the lights from the city. They reminded him of the lights on the tree inside. They were beautiful. And tonight he could see a crescent moon shining above them. It wasn’t bright enough to illuminate the yard, but it was still lovely.

“Come to clear your head, boy?” asked a voice. Steve jumped and turned to find Odin leaning on the doorframe behind him. His face was stern, almost like how he imagined Santa with a bowel movement. “You act as though I am about to beat you, you know. You needn’t worry. You might be an ungrateful upstart, but I won’t do you harm.”

“Thanks,” he drawled. “It helps to clear my head. The cold, I mean.”

“Heh. You would like Sweden, then,” he said walking closer. “Don’t cower, boy, I am not here to pummel you. Stand up straight like a man.”

Steve found himself obeying without question. Odin had a commanding presence about him, almost like he had spent time in the military. He brooked no nonsense and suffered no fools. It made people listen. His gaze was cold and assessing. Steve could see the shrewd intellect that had secured him the position of ambassador to the United States. Politicians didn’t get anywhere by being trusting. He braced his hands on the railing in front of and turned that calculating gaze on Steve.

“How much has Thor told you about Yule?” he asked. 

“Well, he told me about Baldr’s death,” he admitted. 

“Good,” Odin said. “He honors Baldr, it is only natural that he should tell you about his god’s demise.”

“It was interesting,” he said lamely. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “He also said to be careful of oaths.”

“Well, at least he’s ensured you will not do something stupid,” Odin said. Then he regarded him with a scowl. “One of the other purposes of Yule is to air grievances.”

 _There it is_ , Steve thought. He braced himself.

“I do not like you,” Odin said.

“The feeling is mutual,” Steve asked, trying to sound casual. 

“I think that you are weak,” Odin said. “My wife and son tell me that you suffer from panic attacks, but that just means that you are ruled by fear. There is no way you could be worthy of my son.”

The words came like a punch in the gut. It took the wind out of him. He could do nothing but gaze up at the old man, his jaw hanging open uselessly.

“Were you simply unsure of yourself, that would be one thing,” he continued. “You are a boy. It is only natural. But you are simply a coward who lacks the nerve to admit or the balls to be a man.”

“It’s true,” Steve said. His heart was racing, but he would be damned before he let Thor’s father bully him into submission. “I have Panic Disorder. I live in constant fear of when my next panic attack will strike. I struggle with anxiety on a daily basis and it’s taken me nearly a year and a half of therapy to learn how to live with it. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that you understand what my life has been like. Why should that make me unworthy?”

“You are ashamed of yourself,” Odin said, eying him. “For all your bravado, you see yourself as weak. I can see it in your eyes. You don’t think you are worthy either.”

Again, it hit him like a punch in the gut. Odin certainly knew how to get to people. He wasn’t wrong. He constantly wondered if this was a dream, if he would wake up and cold reality would set in because the only way any of this could be true was if it was a dream. 

“How can I think that you are worthy if you cannot think it yourself?” Odin demanded. “I’ve seen your like before. Thor has always attracted men like you to him. He’s too softhearted. He got himself hurt because they both took advantage of his kindness in one way or another.”

Steve was silent at that. He had never really asked in detail about Thor’s exes. He only knew that he had some because he had mentioned them in passing. He could not deny that even though Thor lavished him with affection and assured him that he was more than enough, he often wondered if he actually deserved this. 

“So here is my grievance,” Odin said. “I think you will break my son’s heart. You will hurt him and I would have sought to prevent his being hurt again, but it seems that he has already fallen for you. I can only hope that he will decide at some point to end it himself first.”

“You think you know what is best,” Steve found himself saying. “But you’re the one letting fear rule you. Fear that you can’t protect him. You barely know me. You’ve judged me based on a panic attack and on Thor’s past relationships, people I’ve never even met. How can you say that you know what I will do when all you really know about me is that I have chronic anxiety?”

Odin was silent, aside from a scoff. 

“I promise that everything that I want from Thor comes from good intentions,” he said. “I will not toss aside the kindness Thor has shown me just because you think we’re a bad match.”

“An oath on Yule. Even after Thor’s warning,” Odin drawled. “How poetic.”

He drew himself up to his full height and glowered down at Steve, contempt smoldering in his eye. He suddenly seemed like a giant to Steve, ready to crush him if he didn’t say the right thing. 

“If you break your oath,” he growled. “I will see that you suffer.”

“You would hardly be the first,” Steve said. The lump in his throat made it sound more breathy and meek than he would have preferred. 

“But,” Odin said. “If you are telling the truth, if your relationship with my son lasts until the day after your year anniversary, I will give your relationship my blessing.”

“Deal,” Steve said. He held out his hand. Odin took it in a strong, firm grip. Whether it was magic, whether there were gods or spirits or angels bearing witness to their bargain, whether it was something inherently about the season, it felt very solemn. Like this truly wasn’t something that could be broken without consequences. As Steve watched Odin go back into the house, he had to wonder if he had just done something rash. 

Either way, he had no intention of letting Odin win. He had been with Thor for three months now. It seemed like such a short amount of time, and at the same time, it felt like it had been forever. And even though he struggled daily with feeling inadequate, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

His reverie was interrupted by a crash and shouting. Steve hurried inside to find Thor and Loki grappling on the floor. 

“Shouldn’t we do something?” Steve asked. Frigga chuckled. 

“Don’t worry, dear,” she said. “They do this every year, since Thor honors Baldr and Loki, well, take a guess.”

“You killed my god!” Thor roared. He had his brother in a headlock. Loki laughed and jabbed Thor in the stomach with an elbow. 

“Your god was an idiot,” Loki replied with a sardonic grin. He ran outside and into the yard and Thor gave chase, hollering all the way. 

Steve watched in amazement as they wrestled and fought on the lawn. Their styles were completely different. Thor was more strength oriented and tried to overpower Loki. His brother, on the other hand was slippery and dextrous. It was fascinating to watch, but Thor eventually managed to pin his brother to the ground, which was no less impressive for the fact that he was drunk.

“Yield,” he growled. Loki struggled, but Thor had managed to keep him pinned to the cold earth. 

“Fine, I yield,” Loki groaned. Thor jumped up and cheered and ran up the steps to capture Steve in a fierce, victorious embrace and kissed him. Steve laughed into his lover’s mouth. 

_Yeah_ , he thought. There’s no way I’m letting that old Grinch win.  


* * *

Sometime around midnight, the Odinson family gathered around their tree and began their gift exchange. It was an interesting sight, as Steve had never before seen gifts being exchanged between a family when half of them were half drunk. He was also shocked to discover that he was being included in the exchange. He was suddenly glad he had brought gifts, though it was nothing special. Odin didn’t give him anything and he was glad for it because he didn’t have anything for him, to be honest.

Frigga gave him more art supplies, which was good because he was starting to run low and this would surely last him a while. Loki gave him a pair of little puppets (he called them, “poppets,” though) that looked like gingerbread people.

“This one’s meant to attract love,” he said, pointing to one that had more pink decorations, like hearts and flowers. The other had a bit of mistletoe pinned to it and a shield. “And that one is for protection.”

“Do I keep it with me or…?” Steve asked. 

“You can,” Loki said. “Or you can keep it in your room to ward off negative energies.”

“Cool,” Steve said. He meant it. He had no idea Loki was so skilled. “Thank you, Loki.”

Loki actually seemed bashful at the praise. “It’s nothing,” he said. 

Steve got up and hugged him. Loki made a groan of disgust in protest. 

“Thor, your boyfriend is _hugging me_ ,” he whined. 

“Yeah he is,” Thor said, raising his bottle of mead. He had taken a break for a few hours but resumed drinking for the gift exchange. Steve himself had another mug of glogg sitting on the coffee table. But just the one. He had already drank more tonight than he ever planned on drinking in general. He’d probably go a few months without. 

“Tell him to stop,” Loki said. 

“Come on, brother, it’s Yule!” Thor said cheerfully. “Live a little.”

Loki grumbled and returned the hug. 

“You’re welcome,” he muttered. Steve finally let him go.

Thor actually had to leave the room to get his present to Steve. He returned with a large canvas that Steve recognized as one of Frigga’s painting canvases. He gasped as he turned it around and revealed a painting of the two of them dancing under the moonlight. It was similar to their Homecoming date. There were some artistic liberties taken, such as the fact that instead of anywhere in New York, they were dancing under a grove of pine trees covered in snow lit in the holiday style with a full moon shining down on them. It was beautiful and he actually teared up at the sight. 

“I commissioned this a few weeks ago,” he said. “I could not think of anything else that you would want, so--”

Steve tackled him with a hug before he could finish.

“I love it,” he said. He looked at Frigga. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, dear,” she said. 

Steve got out his sketchbook and carefully removed one of the pictures. It was a new one that he had finished recently, of Thor and Loki grappling and smiling like the rambunctious brothers they were. He handed it to Frigga who looked at it and smiled as her fingers traced the lines of their faces.

“Thank you, Steve,” she said. “It’s beautiful. A mother can never have too many pictures of her children.”

To Loki, he handed a picture of him as a mad scientist. Loki laughed when he saw himself holding a vial of some kind of mixture grinning like a madman under a transformer shooting electricity. Thor rolled his eyes.

Finally, to Thor, he gave him the completed version of a picture he had been working on recently. Thor was sitting on a white horse, his armor gleaming in the light of the sun shining down overhead, his red cape draped behind him. His family was behind him, smiling faces throwing flowers on the ground beneath the horse. Thor was looking directly at the viewer with a smile on his face as he held out his hand.

“I recognize this,” Thor said. “This is the one you started a month ago at the beginning of the Thanksgiving break.” 

“Yeah,” Steve said with a blush. “It’s not much, but--”

Thor silenced him with a kiss. Steve sighed in spite of himself.

“I love it, _älskling_ ,” he said. “It is beautiful.”

“Thank you,” he said. 

“But where are you?” he asked.

“Umm… well, this is from a dream I had, so…” he said. 

“So I am looking at you in this picture?” Thor asked with a sloppy grin.

“Yes?” Steve replied. Thor smiled again and kissed him. It was a bit clumsy, since he was drunk, but Steve was becoming more comfortable around it. As long as Thor was there, anyway.

“I love you,” he whispered. “Happy Yule.”

“Happy Yule, Thor,” he replied. “I love you, too.”  


* * *

Thor didn't make it until sunrise, but he did manage to make it to the porch with Steve about an hour before dawn. Where he promptly fell asleep with his head resting in Steve's lap. Steve smiled at the sight and tangled his fingers in his golden locks as he waited in silence for the sunrise. 

The rest of the family was quiet too, as if the night of celebration was replaced with a heavy solemnity. Mr. Baker, Mrs. Bianchi, and the rest of the household staff had turned in hours ago. They weren't pagan, so they weren't required to observe their employers’ religious holidays. All of them had at one point in time, but not this year. 

Steve had never actually seen the sun rise over New York City. His apartment buildings generally didn't let residents on the roof. Also, as a 19 year old, any time before the sun before had been in the sky for a few hours was too early to be out of bed. He was fighting the urge to close his eyes and curl himself around Thor's sleeping form. 

The sky overhead began to lighten gradually. Black started to soften to pale orange and yellow. All of them were silent, apart from Thor's soft snoring, as the dawn after the longest night arrived. Steve captured the image in his mind. Somewhere in the back of his artist mind he wondered what it would be like to watch the sunrise from the top of the Empire State Building. But the part of him that was terrified of heights dismissed that almost immediately. 

The sun began to peak over the horizon, a fragile orange sliver of light breaking through the night. Soon the night gave way to the pale light of the morning and the sky turned from black to shades of blue and yellow. And maybe there was actually some magic there or perhaps the sunlight triggered some part of his brain, but Steve felt his spirit lift. Like something new had begun. 

When the sun had fully risen, the Odinsons began to taper off to bed. Odin paused long enough to nod at Steve in acknowledgment of his small victory. Steve would have felt smug but an enormous yawn reminded him that he was dog tired. He shook his boyfriend gently until he started awake.

“The sun's up,” he said.

“Huzzah,” Thor murmured. “Blessed Yule.”

“Blessed Yule,” he parroted. “Now do you think we can start the year off right and go to bed?”

“Sleep first, _älskling_ ,” he murmured, nuzzling his face in his lap. “Sex later.”

Steve was too tired to chastise him. Instead he just yawned and waited for Thor to get up. His legs were starting to fall asleep. They staggered to the bedroom, Thor stopping to drink some water. As they climbed into bed to sleep the day away, Steve tried to think about anything but the fact that he was leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was fun. Y'all notice how there's now a definite number of chapters? Yeah, the Ballad of the Thundering Heart is done! 
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! <3
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense! :D


	30. It's a Wonderful Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW.

Steve awoke first to the dying rays of the afternoon light. It was a strange sensation. He had slept all day after struggling to stay up all night. He could still hardly believe that Thor had been the one to lose the battle to stay awake, considering that it was his holiday and everything. Still, despite the… tense conversation with Odin, Steve was willing to admit that he had enjoyed celebrating a holiday with a family who had actual holiday traditions. Back in elementary school, the seemingly yearly obsession with sharing Christmas traditions with the class had been like pouring salt in the wound. Every year, he had said that they watched It’s a Wonderful Life. Which was not entirely a lie. Steve did watch that movie every year, but never with his mom. If Joe was home, Steve was usually hiding in his room. 

He smiled sadly. Thor, for all the grief Odin gave him about their relationship, had it good. Thor had a family who loved him, who celebrated things together. Steve looked over at the painting Thor had commissioned from Frigga. The painting of the two of them dancing in a wintery glen with the moon and stars shining overhead. It was easily the nicest, most expensive gift anyone had ever gotten him, even if Frigga had technically painted it herself. Steve couldn’t help but admire the technique, even from here where he could hardly see it in the dying embers of the sun’s rays.

Steve rolled over to look at Thor. He was still sleeping, or perhaps dozing was the better word. Steve reached over almost compulsively and cleared the hair from Thor’s face. Steve was debating whether to tell his boyfriend about the deal he made with Odin. That Odin had promised to bless their relationship if they managed to make it to a day after their year anniversary. Steve was inclined not to, honestly. It wasn’t like it wasn’t Thor’s business, because it technically was, but… Steve had no idea what would happen when the school year was done. He knew enough about Thor’s summers to know that he spent them in Sweden. Steve didn’t want to pressure Thor into anything, honestly. Thor probably wanted to go to Sweden. Hell, the guy talked about it fondly enough that it made sense. Steve would want to return to New York every now and then if he lived abroad. 

But still… on the off chance that Thor would stay over the summer for him… Steve wanted that to be Thor’s decision. The last thing Steve wanted was for Thor to stay for him out of a sense of obligation or worse, simply to spite Odin. Did that make him clingy? Needy? Maybe. Steve could not find it in himself to care, honestly. 

Steve studied Thor’s face, the strong jawline, the shape of his nose, the way his mouth was parted slightly as he slept, the beard that always left those burns on Steve’s skin that drove him wild when Thor kissed him. Steve felt his cock stirring slightly at the thought. Steve found himself shuffling closer to Thor. Thor, perhaps instinctively, threw an arm around Steve’s body and drew him closer. Steve sighed as he snuggled closer to Thor’s warmth. He kissed Thor’s lips in a moment of impulse. Thor purred in his sleep and kissed him back. Steve could taste the lingering spices in the mead and glogg on his tongue amid the morning breath. Which was gross, but the part of Steve’s brain that was horny outweighed the part that wanted to push Thor off the bed and tell him to brush his teeth. 

Thor hummed and suddenly he was shifting until he was hovering over Steve, his heavy, familiar weight settling on top of Steve as Thor held him close. Steve sighed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck. Maybe it was a bit bizarre, but having Thor like this made him feel… safe. Thor rolled his hips against Steve’s and Steve felt a surge of arousal, need, and smug satisfaction that simply his presence in bed with Thor seemed to be enough to get this kind of reaction. He could feel Thor’s hardness against his own.

_God I need to feel that_ , he thought. In more ways than one, certainly, but not all right away. But he needed _something!_

“Thor,” he sighed against his lover’s lips. Thor replied by kissing Steve and Steve surrendered to the heat of Thor’s mouth against his own. Steve’s hands fisted themselves in Thor’s hair and Thor made a sound that was halfway between a growl and a purr. Whatever it was, it sent shivers up Steve’s spine. 

“Yes, _älskling?_ ” Thor rumbled above him. 

“I need you,” Steve begged. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt pathetic for saying it like that, but he couldn’t care at the moment. “Please.”

“Oh, _älskling_ ,” Thor murmured. “If I could stop the sun for you so we could spend the whole day together and never worry about what was to come, I would.”

Steve swallowed. “Don’t need to stop the sun,” he whispered. “Just need you. If you’ll have me.”

“Of course, love,” Thor said. Thor made his way down Steve’s body, kissing the scars along the way as he liked to do. Steve honestly loved it, too. That Thor thought he was beautiful, scars and all, baffled him, but God damn him if Steve was ever ungrateful. Thor’s hands were everywhere, even as Thor took his time with his mouth, kissing, sucking, nipping at Steve’s soft, sensitive skin, leaving marks on the (mostly) bare canvas of Steve’s body. Steve’s hands never left Thor’s hair and every now and then, he pulled his lover up to kiss him as he rutted against Thor’s body. 

“So impatient,” Thor murmured against Steve’s lips. Steve ignored him and let go of Thor’s hair to run his hands over the expanse of Thor’s broad chest and back. Steve went straight for Thor’s pants and shoved them down past his ass. Thor chuckled and kicked them off the bed before bringing his body flush against Steve’s. Steve’s breath hitched as he felt Thor’s long, thick shaft rubbing against his stomach and leaving a little trail of pre-cum. Steve reached down and wrapped a hand around Thor’s cock. He savored the way Thor’s breathing hitched when Steve started pumping him slowly.

“Babe,” Steve whispered. 

“Yes, love?” 

“Get the lube?” 

“Oh. Right, yes.”

Steve uncapped the bottle, quickly poured a dollop of lube on his palm, and wrapped his hand back around Thor’s cock. Thor reached down under Steve’s pants and gripped his erection in turn. Steve arched up into the touch, Thor’s slick hand jerking him, twisting his hand around the head of Steve’s dick exactly the way that drove Steve up the wall. Steve’s grip on Thor’s cock faltered as he was overcome by pleasure.

“Let me,” Thor murmured. 

“Let you what?”

“Take care of you, _älskling_ ,” Thor said. Thor moved to take their cocks in his hand.

“No,” Steve said. Thor froze and his eyes met Steve’s instantly with concern. Steve struggled against Thor’s weight, but try as he might, he couldn’t do anything. “Roll over.”

Thor looked a bit confused, but did as he was asked. Steve rolled over as well until he was situated between Thor’s legs and staring down at his beautiful lover. With a bit of difficulty, Steve wrapped his hand around their members as Thor had done. 

“Let me,” Steve whispered. “Let me take care of you, babe.”

Thor relaxed on the bed. “What did I do to deserve you, _älskling?_ ” 

Steve huffed. “Funny, I think the same thing most days.”

“I am serious, Steve,” Thor said. “And you deserve everything. The moon itself, if you want it.”

Steve blushed, which was impressive considering his entire body seemed flushed with exertion and arousal. “I’ll settle for just you, Thor.”

“You have me.” 

Steve leaned down as he began to pump their cocks together and kissed Thor. The angle was a bit awkward, honestly. Thor was simply bigger, in every way, his beautiful ass and powerful legs simply made it difficult to get the kind of leverage Steve was looking for. Thor, thankfully, did not let him think that it was working for him when it clearly wasn’t.

“Here,” Thor leaning up. Thor literally picked Steve up and set him on his lap so that Steve was straddling Thor’s groin. Thor lay back down. Steve was about to start pumping their cocks when another thought occurred to him now that he was unobstructed by Thor’s unnecessarily large, sexy body. Steve began to roll his hips forward. The length of Steve’s cock rubbed the underside of Thor’s and Thor’s pleasured hum was all Steve needed to hear to know that he was enjoying himself. 

Thor, the bastard, even though he was taking the passive role here, looked like he was completely in charge. He let his head rest beneath his hands and fuck, if the image of Thor’s biceps curled, framing his face as Thor looked into Steve’s eyes with desire and lust wasn’t the hottest thing Steve had ever seen. But he seemed dissatisfied to stay that way for long and not long after Steve had found a rhythm that worked, Thor let his hands roam over Steve’s thighs. Steve shivered at the touch, especially when one of Thor’s hands lingered over the bundle of scars on his left thigh. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Thor purred. Steve paused and leaned down to kiss Thor, bracing himself with his free hand a bit precariously. Thor raked his nails gently up Steve’s spine, making Steve whine into his mouth. 

“Thor,” Steve whined. Thor purred against his lips and his hands wandered down to grasp Steve’s ass tightly in his massive, callused hands. Steve half gasped half mewled into Thor’s mouth. Thor started kneading Steve’s ass while Steve rolled his hips on Thor’s lap. 

“I wish we could spend all day like this,” Thor murmured with another squeeze to Steve’s ass. 

“Perv,” Steve gasped. “We could have, if you had woken up earlier.”

Thor chuckled at that. “What can I say? I suppose we will have to make up for lost time.”

Steve faltered at that, a bit of sadness driving a cold, unwelcome stake into his gut. Thor noticed, because _of course he did_ , and sat up to look Steve dead in the eyes. Steve’s breath left him, replaced by Thor’s, by his blue eyes so dark they looked like thunderclouds, strong arms and callused hands wrapping around his body and drawing him close against Thor’s body. 

“I am sorry,” he whispered. “I did not mean to bring it up.”

Steve breathed in a trembling breath. “Just… please.”

“What do you need?”

Steve gulped. “Hold me,” he said, sounding desperate and needy even to his own ears. He hated himself for it. Thor, however, didn’t draw away, disgusted by how much Steve wanted, how much Steve needed. Instead, Thor’s arms tightened around him and he kissed him. 

“I’ve got you,” Thor said. “I love you. You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever known.”

Steve slowly began to roll his hips again, kissing Thor eagerly. Steve gasped and moaned into Thor’s mouth and Thor in turn drank them and poured grunts and hums into Steve’s. Steve gripped their cocks as firmly as he could, savoring the feeling of his member moving against Thor’s, the feeling of Thor’s arms around him, his hands running over his body, down his back, pinching his ass. Thor played Steve like a fiddle and Steve’s body sang as he came alive beneath his touch, like little electrical shocks sparking through his body. 

Steve began to feel his orgasm forming in the pit of his stomach. His breathing hitched and he started increasing the pace of his hips rolling in Thor’s lap. 

“Thor, babe, I’m close,” he said. Thor hummed and suddenly Thor’s mouth was latched on Steve’s neck, sucking and biting the sensitive flesh. Steve cried out as he came, coating Thor’s stomach, his cock, and Steve’s fingers. Steve kept at it until he was completely spent. He paused just for a moment to grab the rag and wipe himself off before he realized that Thor was still hard and he wrapped his hand back around Thor’s huge member and began pumping him again in earnest. 

“Steve, _älskling_ ,” Thor began speaking in that litany of Swedish words that Steve found strangely hot even though he couldn’t understand what they meant. Steve kept up his pace until Thor’s cum erupted from the head, splattering their chests with his seed before it dribbled onto Steve’s fingers. Just before Steve moved to wipe his hand off again, Thor caught his wrist. Steve looked up into his eyes, confused.

“Let me,” Thor purred, his eyes never leaving Steve’s. Steve’s breathing hitched again as Thor brought Steve’s fingers to his mouth and started to lick them clean. Thor took Steve’s fingers into his mouth and hummed as he sucked on them. Steve was struck speechless as the hungry look in Thor’s eyes persisted and he leaned over Steve and pushed him down onto the bed to lick Steve clean of Thor’s cum. 

“Fuck,” Steve moaned as Thor’s tongue teased a nipple. “Jesus Christ—don’t you fucking dare, Thor!”

Thor was smirking down at Steve, his long blond hair a mess from being half disheveled from sleep and half plastered to his skin from sweat and sex. The ridiculous man had the nerve to chuckle at the ongoing joke that Steve definitely didn’t find funny. 

“Taste good?” Steve asked.

“I taste fine, I suppose,” Thor purred, kissing Steve’s cheek and making his way towards his ear. “But you tasted amazing.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve said, laughing. “And filthy.”

Thor nipped at Steve’s earlobe. “How do you know that you do not like it unless you try it, love?”

And immediately that conjured images of Steve sucking Thor’s cock for the first time, watching Thor above him, bringing him to the edge, and his mouth being filled with Thor’s cum shooting down his throat and fuck that did things to him. Steve was getting hard again at the thought, even if he wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Thor noticed and wrapped his hand around Steve’s member. 

“Ready for more, love?” Thor asked. Before Steve could answer his stomach growled. Like a freight train. Thor let out a booming laugh and Steve blushed before Thor’s stomach growled, too. “Perhaps we should get food, first.”

“Hell no,” Steve said, springing up to his knees and straddling himself on Thor’s lap again. “It’s your fault I’m like this. You take care of it.”

“So bossy,” Thor murmured with a dark glimmer in his eye. One of his hands snaked its way down to Steve’s ass again and squeezed. Steve moaned. “You are insatiable.”

“Are you complaining?” Steve asked, leaning down to kiss Thor’s throat. 

“Never.”

Steve grinned and for a moment he forgot about Thor leaving and instead focused on making every minute they had together before that happened count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun. Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom nonsense. <3


	31. Blue Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack

Steve was able to see them off at the airport. He tried not to be sad on Christmas Eve. It was not that different from most Christmas Eves for him, after all. He would spend his time with his mother until she had to leave to start her long Christmas shift. Christmas was usually longer since so many people went out of town during the holidays. So she would leave that afternoon and come back late Christmas evening. She'd have the next few days off then have to go back for New Years.

“I'll miss you,” he said. He told himself he wouldn't be clingy, but it was true.

“And I you, my _älskling_ ,” he murmured. “But here, I have something for you.”

Thor held out his letterman jacket, which looked to be roughly three sizes too large. He pressed it into Steve’s hands. Steve looked at the jacket with a bemused expression. Of all the things for Thor to give him… this was not what he would have expected. 

“Your jacket?” he asked. “Why are you giving me this?”

“It is the custom, is it not?” Thor replied. “Giving your lover your jacket so that people know who you are going out with.”

“I can’t take your jacket,” Steve protested.

“Please, Steve,” Thor said. “I want you to have it. I have no need for it. It is not heavy enough to be of use in Sweden.”

Steve was about to protest again, but he couldn’t find it in his heart to have an argument with him while he was leaving. Instead he wrapped his arms back around Thor. One final goodbye before he left.

“Thank you,” he said. “Be safe.”

“I will, Steve,” Thor replied. Steve reluctantly let him go and watched his family disappear into the airport. His mother came up behind him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He let her guide him out of the airport and into the car.  


* * *

The apartment was silent. Steve listened to the sounds of the city outside. Cars honking, people shouting and singing Christmas carols, and whoever lived above him was playing loud Christmas music. He lay on the couch staring up at the ceiling. Every now and then his gaze wandered over to their fake Christmas tree, lit up in colorful lights. It was nothing he had not seen before. 

He tried watching some Christmas special. There were two kinds that generally showed up this time of year. The type about terrible people who had some kind of life changing experience where they became good, and the kind about families that fought constantly but something happened to bring them together and remind them that they loved each other. The first was the type he used to wish would happen to him, back when Joe was alive. Sometimes he tried to sober up for a while, but he would inevitably return to the drink and become even worse. The second… well he had enough experience with his mother’s family that he wouldn’t mind that never happening. They seemed to think that she had brought their situation on her family because she chose to get a job and support her family rather than stay home and be a housewife “like God intended.” 

The afternoon trudged on. He tried to lose himself in the movies on tv, but there was really only so much he could handle. It’s a Wonderful Life was always enjoyable and various renditions of A Christmas Carol were interesting. There was one he had never seen before that was a musical and it quickly became his favorite. But aside from that, there was precious little to do. He didn’t have any money to go out and it would be pointless to do so with leftovers in the fridge. 

He tried to sketch, too. But all he could think about was his boyfriend, who he was actively trying not to think about. He wanted to draw mountains and landscapes and characters doing dashing heroics but Thor’s face filled his mind. He found himself going over old sketches of him. The portrait with the kind eyes, the study on musculature he drew months ago, a copy of the dream picture he had given to him for Yule, and other in progress works that all seemed to fill his idle moments. Part of him felt pathetic that he couldn’t seem to draw anything that didn’t include his boyfriend in some way. Unfortunately, between sappy, romantic movies and the Christmas music, he was the only thing he could think about. He sighed and turned his attention back to the tv. 

At that moment, his upstairs neighbor decided that they were suddenly an Elvis fan and started playing Blue Christmas. Tears came unbidden to his eyes as he listened to the song. He couldn’t stop listening. It was as if the song was some twisted siren call driving a knife in his chest. He sobbed quietly into a couch cushion until the song was over and for a while after that. 

Whoever his neighbor was, they seemed to have moved on from the normal, upbeat happy songs, to a sad Christmas montage. I’ll Be Home For Christmas played as soon as the song was done, followed by Please Come Home For Christmas, and I Want to Come Home For Christmas. It was like this specific playlist was designed to torture him emotionally. He let it. He sobbed helplessly into the couch cushion until he fell asleep.  


* * *

It was dark when Steve woke up. It baffled him for a bit. He looked at the time on his phone. It was a little past 5:30. Thor’s flight would land in about an hour and a half. He groaned and looked at the wall where Thor’s Yule present to him was hanging. It never ceased to amaze him that his mother had that kind of talent. 

It was quiet. He wasn’t sure whether to think that that was a good thing or not. On the one hand, the sad songs were over. On the other hand, the silence brought its own set of problems. It made it inescapably clear how alone he really was. His friends were gone, Thor was gone, his mom was gone. Everyone he cared about was gone. A sad little tree with a few little packages stood as a solitary reminder that he did not, in fact, have a completely solitary existence. 

_It’s okay_ , he thought, trying to close the gaping pit in his chest. _I’m used to it by now. It’s not that different from any other year._

But it was. No matter what he told himself, it was. People wrote songs about people spending Christmas alone, trying to imagine what it was like being lonely at Christmas. Steve was the opposite, a lonely soul trying in vain to imagine a Christmas surrounded by friends and family. Or even just one person. He’d settle for the one.

Unbidden the memory of Thor holding up the mistletoe a few days ago came to mind. Grinning like a lune who made a clever joke. He remembered the taste of honey and spices on his tongue. 

_Dammit_ , he thought bitterly. For the first time in his life, he was actually tempted to drown his sorrows in booze. Fortunately, his mom kept no alcohol in the apartment. There hadn’t been a drop of booze of any sort in the apartment since Joe died. As soon as they got back from the hospital where she had confirmed his identity, she promptly poured every drop of beer and whiskey and bourbon and rum the sopping drunk had managed to hide away in the apartment. There had been a surprising amount. He hid them in cupboards, under floorboards, behind books, and all other insane places. Every one of them were removed when his mother purged their home. And immediately after that, she started looking for a new apartment. 

Some things improved. Holidays were still rough for the first year, though. The Christmas after Joe died, Steve had a panic attack, a bad one. His mother had been away at the hospital, but Bucky was home that year and came over to keep him company. He had been terrified that Joe would return, drunk and raving and swinging a bottle of liquor around. 

He stared at the painting again, the only piece of art hanging on the walls. He knew his mom kept some in a portfolio, but still. He wondered what Thor was up to. Probably sleeping on the plane or something. Seriously, a 9 hour flight to Stockholm. Steve’s phone plan didn’t account for international communications. There was Facebook, of course. It was better than nothing. Steve didn’t really use it that much, but it was useful for talking to people. 

He began to tremble. He suddenly felt very warm as well and a moment later the fear entered his mind. _Oh no_ , he thought. _Not now!!_ He was dying, he knew he was. He’d never see him again. His heart was racing like he was running a marathon. His last coherent thought before the fear completely took over his mind was that while he hated people seeing him when he was having a panic attack, there was one thing that was even worse. Having no choice but to endure one completely alone. 

When It was done he wiped the sweat from his brow and looked up at the clock. It had lasted about 20 minutes. He collapsed back against the couch before he got up and went to the window and opened it, letting the cold wind into the apartment so he could feel something different. He shivered. He was still dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans. He was going to freeze. He grabbed the jacket draped over a chair in the kitchen, Thor’s jacket. Immediately he smelled him, the scent of smoke and pine and musk that was his boyfriend. It was soothing. He closed his eyes and imagined for just a moment that it was Thor around him instead. The rumbling sound of his voice in his chest when he spoke, the strength in his hands and arms when he held him. 

The jacket swallowed him. Of course, Thor was much bigger than him in both height and mass. Still, it did something to lessen the anxiety he was feeling in the aftermath of his attack. It was better than nothing. He took deep, calming breaths. He did some of the meditation exercises that Dr. Erskine taught him. Then, when he felt himself return to a more or less normal state, he collapsed back on the couch. Panic attacks always left him drained, but they were always worse when he was alone. 

He grabbed his sketchbook and tried to occupy himself with something else. He turned on a holiday cooking show as well so there would be some background noise. The silence was nearly unbearable now. He decided, in lieu of drawing landscapes or imagining characters for some imaginary comic he wanted to make one day, to draw the Yule tree he had helped decorate a few days ago. 

He had a picture handy. It was just the tree, no one was pictured in front of it. It was a beautiful tree, different in every way from the plastic one in his apartment. The star on the top of the tree wasn’t an ordinary Christmas star. It was something similar to a wreath, but it was made of nature items like nuts and acorns. Steve had no idea who made it or how. All around the tree there were red ribbons he had helped tie on the branches, ornaments hung, some were pretty baubles, others were little figurines of forest animals like reindeer, squirrels, bears, and such. 

Steve actually managed to lose himself in the artistic process. He drew a basic pencil sketch of the room first, got some of the background details squared away before he started on the tree. The challenge was that there were lots of little details he had a few pictures of the tree that were closer and had some of the ornaments, but having the tree itself to look at was preferable. They would have to do. He started at the top and worked his way down. 

He didn’t know how long he worked on the picture before his stomach growled loudly. He looked up at the clock. It was nearly 8 and he hadn’t eaten a thing all day. He set his sketch aside and stretched his hand as he got up to eat. His phone buzzed. He had a Facebook message from Thor. He smiled.

_We landed in Stockholm half an hour ago. The plane ride was long and boring. They played Polar Express the whole time. I miss you already._

_I miss you, too_ , he replied. _Take pictures. I want see what Sweden looks like._

 _One of these days_ älskling, _I will bring you to Sweden and show you its wonders for yourself_ , Thor teased. _Fine, I’ll take some pictures like a tourist in my own country. :P_

 _Have fun_ , he said, before he closed the app. 

He didn’t really taste the food. He flipped channels for something interesting when he found one channel playing Waltons: Homecoming. It was a movie about a family in Virginia waiting for their father to come home for Christmas. It was his mother’s favorite Christmas movie. Apparently they made a tv show after this movie succeeded or something, which was his mom’s favorite show growing up. 

The idea behind the movie was that the dad worked in a town a couple hours away and came back on the weekend, but his efforts to get home were delayed by the snow. It was supposed to highlight depression era life during the holidays or something. He teared up when the mother turned off the radio the grandparents were listening to when the report of a bus overturned on the road. He never really paid attention to the movie but he could relate to the mom’s concern for her husband. At least the movie had a happy ending. 

He stayed up late, drawing with one movie or another in the background until his phone buzzed again. This time it was the midnight alarm he had set. It was now officially Christmas.

“Merry Christmas, Stevie,” he murmured. Just like every year. There was also a message from Thor that he hadn’t seen. 

_Merry Christmas, my love._

_Merry Christmas_ , he replied.

Steve gathered the jacket and got up to head to bed. He felt very tired all of a sudden. He fell asleep in Thor’s jacket.  


* * *

Christmas day was more or less the same as the day before. The difference was that since he had no place he really needed to be, he mostly stayed in bed until his empty stomach drove him to the kitchen to eat something. Like yesterday, he could hear music from his neighbor living above him. Whoever they were, they must love Christmas music. Today, they were the romantic ones that couples and celebrities sang to each other that Steve utterly hated. Why did they have to listen to so many songs about happy couples at Christmas? 

He wondered what he would be doing if he was able to spend the day with Thor. He wondered if Thor celebrated Christmas. If Thor would come to his apartment and spend the day with him. Thor had never actually spent a great deal of time in his apartment. He’d probably feel a bit cramped after having an entire house to roam around. Their apartment was fine for the two of them, but he worried whether Thor would be happy with his home. He had so much, after all. How could Steve ever compare?

But he couldn’t help but imagine what they would do if he were here. There wasn’t much, honestly. Exchange presents like they had at Yule, probably. Talking, making out… then it occurred to Steve that he didn’t actually know what people did at Christmas. People talked about Christmas traditions, but Steve didn’t have… any. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Sad maybe. Disappointed. He so wanted to have someone to spend Christmas with, but if, on the off chance, that were to happen, he had no idea what would happen. Dinner? Drinking? Dancing? Singing carols? Surely that last one was just something they did in Sunday School. His mother’s family was Irish Catholic, so if they had any traditions, she had abandoned them long ago. They probably involved drinking or Mass. Or both.

His mother arrived back from her shift late that afternoon, earlier than she was expecting. She was exhausted, though and collapsed on the couch almost as soon as she was through the door, snoring away like a bear with a chainsaw. He sat cross-legged on the the chair next to the couch. He had spent almost an entire day alone, it was nice to have some other human in the apartment, even if she was asleep. He focused on the sketch he had started earlier. He was trying to get the green of the needles right. It was much more complicated than he had anticipated, but he was determined to get it right. 

His mom eventually woke up around 7:30 and stretched out, cracking her neck and back as she returned to the waking world. Steve set his art aside for now once she had awoken. She smiled at him when she opened her eyes. 

“Merry Christmas, Steve,” she said. 

“Merry Christmas, mom,” he replied with a smile. It was good to talk to someone. 

They exchanged their presents. They weren’t much. His mother got him some new art supplies, like Frigga had. He could never have too few of the stuff. She also got him a pair of new art books so that he could try to teach himself some new techniques. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to afford college, but he still wanted to be able to develop his art if he couldn’t. 

Steve was, frankly, bad at buying gifts for people. He usually just asked what they wanted. Of course, this year, his mom had asked for something immensely challenging for him: a self-portrait. He had had to draw his face, which he honestly wasn’t all that fond of. His head was too small, his jawline too angular. His body was scrawny, bony, no curves at all. He looked… plain. Still, he had drawn himself and he hadn’t spared any detail. Artistic integrity and all that. It was a picture of him in his suit. He had tried to draw himself as relaxed and composed, but he was pretty sure he captured his awkwardness instead. 

So naturally, she loved it. 

“There he is,” she said, a hand grazing across the picture lovingly. “My handsome boy. All grown up. It seems only yesterday that I was holding you in my arms.”

“Moooom,” he groaned. He smiled, though as a blush bloomed on his face. 

“Hush now, it’s Christmas,” she said. “Thank you, Steve.”

It was all he could afford, unfortunately. That and a single string of pearls that were probably fake. But she always talked about wanting pretty things to wear and she collected earrings already. He knew for a fact that she had pearls in them, fake or not. Now she had something to match, even if they were an imperfect match. 

“Thank you, Steve,” she said. “I know today wasn’t what you wanted… but thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he replied around the lump in his throat. “Don’t mention it.”

“My darling boy,” she said gently, taking his hand. “It’s okay to want things. It’s okay to want something different, to be a little selfish.”

He tried to reply, tried to shout into the void in his chest that it was okay, that he didn’t mind. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, tears fell down the smooth plains of his cheeks. 

“I want…” he said. “I w-want…” Those words wouldn’t come either. He sniffed as the tears began to fall in full force now. His mother rocked him back and forth, rubbing comforting circles in his back as he sobbed like a broken child. He listened as she repeated their Christmas mantra.

“One day, things will be different.” Just like every year.

And just like every year, he tried to believe her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas? I mean, it's in the middle of summer, but still. 
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, as always, yall! Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense!


	32. Happy New Year

The week that followed was one of the hardest and emotionally turbulent times in his life. He and Thor talked every day, exchanging messages over Facebook. Thor was doing well. There was some bizarre story about he, Loki, and his cousins trying to burn down a giant goat. Apparently it was a big deal, some kind of Christmas tradition in Sweden. But the thought just reminded him that his boyfriend was on the other side of the world. Thor sounded like he was having fun. Steve tried to be happy for him but… well, it was hard.

Thor assured him that he was missed, that he couldn’t wait to come home, but there was still some part of Steve that was going absolutely mad. It was New Year’s Eve, for God’s sake! Thor had been gone for a week. He and his mom went out and had fun when she didn’t have to work, but it wasn’t the same. 

His day was brightened a bit by Bucky showing up out of the blue at his front door with Cokes and junk food and a backpack full of video games. Steve practically jumped into his arms when he realized he was there, nearly making him drop the junk food. His mom was getting ready for work but he was glad at least to have his best friend here with him. Steve told him about Yule and about how his holidays had gone while they drank the sodas.

“You know one of these days we’re gonna have a huge party for New Year’s,” Bucky said when he was done. “And we’ll invite all your friends and their friends and we’ll all go nuts.”

“Honestly, Buck, I’d settle for a few friends,” Steve said. “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself at a huge party.”

Bucky grinned that charming, lopsided grin that always made Steve feel reassured. “Yeah, we’ll start small,” he said. “But you know, someday we’ll make up for all these shitty Christmases you’ve had in your life.”

Steve chuckled weakly. It was a nice thought. He’d daydreamed about it himself a lot over the past week. 

“How’s it going with that Natasha girl?” Steve asked. “You still trying to go out with her?”

“Nah, man,” he said with a swig of his Coke. “She’s not interested. That’s just the way it is.”

“Sorry, man,” he replied. “Plenty of fish in the sea, though, right?” 

Bucky grinned again at that and they toasted. 

“I decided to major in kinesiology, by the way,” Bucky said. “I start the program next semester.”

Steve smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “Congrats, Buck!” he said. “I knew you’d figure out where you wanted to go.”

Bucky’s grin widened. “Yeah, I’m also minoring in psychology. I’m excited to start my classes next semester,” he said. “Of course, I’ll probably get to the second week of class and wonder what the fuck I’m doing.”

“I think that’s most college students,” Steve said with a smile. Bucky laughed at that. 

“What about you, man?” he said with a sly grin. “How things going between you and Sweden’s golden boy? Aside from him being in Sweden.”

Steve took a drink and steeled himself. “Things are going well,” he said. 

“Have you two… knocked boots yet?” Bucky asked.

“What?”

“You know,” Bucky said with a wicked gleam in his eye. “Did he curl your toes? Did you bump uglies? Boink? Do the humpty hump? Netflix and chill?”

Steve had his arms wrapped around himself as he rolled on the couch laughing uncontrollably. “You’re ridiculous!” he said. Bucky punched him in the shoulder. 

“I’m not hearing a no, there,” Bucky teased. “Come on, tell me!”

“Fine, yes we’ve… we’ve done something,” Steve said, sure that his face was absolutely red by now. 

“Oooooohh,” Bucky cheered, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Little Stevie’s lost his virginity! I’m so proud of you!”

“Come on, Buck, it’s nothing like that,” Steve said. “We just… well…”

“Just what?” he asked, his eyes alight with anticipation.

“Well we’ve… jacked each other off,” Steve mumbled. “And he’s… jacked us both off. But we haven’t… you know.”

Bucky grinned. “Hey man, it counts,” he said. “Do you want to go further?”

Steve blushed. ‘We’ve… talked about it,” Steve said. “But… I always chicken out before we can do… anything.”

Bucky, mercifully, didn’t laugh at him. He smiled sympathetically and slung an arm around his shoulders. For some bizarre reason, it was a comforting gesture and it made him blush even more than he was already. And not because it was the sort of thing Thor would do. Thor was different. But there was something… effortless and natural in his camaraderie with Bucky. Steve knew he had his own intimacy issues, just like he had insecurities with sex. Between the two of them they probably had all the bases covered. Steve laid his head on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Hey Buck?” 

“Yeah?”

“I love you. You’re a good friend,” Steve said. Where did that come from? he thought. It was probably just his needy, lonely self being clingy with the one person who dropped by over the holidays. Hopefully Bucky wouldn’t be weirded out by it. 

Bucky was quiet for a moment. Just as Steve was starting to worry that he had said something wrong, he whispered. “I love you, too, Stevie.” It made Steve feel warm.

“What’s it like?” Steve asked. 

“What’s what like?” his friend asked. 

“You know… with men,” he said sheepishly. 

“What kind are you talkin’ about, Stevie?” Bucky asked with a grin. “Blow jobs? Rimming? Anal? You got frottage and hand jobs covered, by the sounds of it.”

“Well… um, all of it, I guess,” he said. 

“You know you could watch some videos and find out,” Bucky said.

“I can’t actually,” he replied.

“Why not?”

“Well…” he said. “I tried, but… I don’t know. I couldn’t get into it. I even found someone who looked vaguely like… like him, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually watch it.”

Bucky looked at him for a while and grabbed another Coke. “Well, far be it from me to leave you hangin’ Stevie. We’re gonna be here awhile,” he said. “When I’m done you’ll know everything you need to know to bang your sexy boyfriend til he begs you for mercy!”

Bucky did not lie. Steve was pretty sure he exaggerated at times, but he definitely heard more than he ever really thought to ask about. He included… perhaps excessive detail concerning what everything felt like and how to do it right. He spent a particularly long amount of time telling him how to keep himself clean. There were apparently devices Bucky called douches that existed for exactly that purpose. 

“Seriously?” Steve asked. 

“Absolutely, Steve,” he said. “You wanna get fucked, you gotta clean.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” he said. 

“Thor will thank you for it, trust me.”

At that point Steve decided to just take his word for it instead of discussing it further. He ended the conversation by turning the tv on to the sound of Bucky’s cackles. He was starting to believe his friends were either weird, crazy, or evil. Or some combination of the three. Bucky was definitely on the crazy/evil spectrum. Maybe Thor had all the positive qualities in the group to balance the rest of them out. 

They talked more about what was going on since they saw each other last. Bucky relayed a bit about how Natasha had turned him down when he tried to ask her out (for an actual date, that time, not a tumble). He freely admitted that he had a crush on her, but it was beginning to taper off now, so the sting wasn’t as bad as it had been at one point. Steve talked about what he was thinking of doing. He wasn’t sure. He wanted to draw, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted or needed to go to college to learn how to do that. 

“Honestly, Steve,” Bucky said. “I don’t know what to tell you. If you were guaranteed to get into a great program, like a comic book company or something, it would be worth it, but that’s a lot of debt to take on.”

“I know,” Steve said, slumping on the couch. “But I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t go to college. Get a job probably. See if I can live on my own. It’s not impossible, just not probable.”

He got up, tired of the talk of school. “All right, enough of that,” he said. “Did you bring any games?” 

“Who do you take me for? A baby boomer?” Bucky asked with mock offense. Steve grinned. He knew his friend would come through.  


* * *

Steve got a message from Thor around 6 telling him “Happy New Year.” Though message was probably a generous way of putting it. It was a video. He was surrounded by cheering Swedes in Stockholm bundled in heavy coats and drinking champagne. Fireworks were shooting off overhead and people were cheering and singing something in Swedish. 

“Happy New Year from Stockholm, Steve!” his boyfriend said with that big, dorky smile on his face. “Wish you were here, _älskling._ It’s a beautiful night for a New Year.” He turned his phone back up to the fireworks for a few more seconds before the video ended. Steve smiled and turned the video back on and paused it over Thor’s smile. It had only been a week, but it felt like such a long time since they had seen each other last. 

“You all right there, Steve?” Bucky asked. Steve nodded and wiped a tear from his eye. He was determined not to cry and ruin the mood today with his friend. 

“Yeah, ‘m fine,” he said. Bucky didn’t seem convinced. Instead, he scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him in a somewhat awkward, but still comforting hug. Steve closed his eyes for a moment while he collected himself. He was so tired of being sad.

“When is he coming back?” he asked. 

“His flight from Sweden leaves at 6 a.m. on the 4th,” he replied. “So they’ll land in New York around… 9.”

“See? Three more days until he comes back,” Bucky said. “And then you can kiss and cuddle and be gross to your heart’s content. You can do this.”

Steve gave a weak laugh at that. He was right, of course. It wasn’t going to be that bad. Just three more days and Thor would be back and they could be together again. It would be fine. The wait seemed to be killing him, but still. He wondered if Thor felt the same way. But at least he had Bucky. He wasn’t alone. The thought made him feel a little warmer, a little better.  


* * *

Thor had never hated Sweden in his life. Never looked up at the fireworks on New Year’s Day and wished they would just stop. He had almost gone out into the cold without his coat just to feel the cold wind bite him. He tried to hide it from his family, especially his cousins whom he hadn’t seen since he returned to the States, but he had been grouchy for much of their time in Sweden. 

Some aspects of it were nice. Like going through the streets speaking Swedish or German to the passersby. English got tiresome after a while. He had been debating trying to teach Steve Swedish. In part because he tended to lapse into his native tongue during sex (Steve was his first boyfriend who didn’t speak the language, actually) and he wanted Steve to understand that he was whispering his praise into his ear when they were having sex. But he always forgot to speak English in the heat of the moment. 

But it seemed so dreary without Steve. Their adventures into New York, playing hookie, movies, ice skating (even if that particular date had been a flop), he missed it. 

_Thor you're being ridiculous,_ he told himself. _You've only been gone a week and you're mooning over a man you have only known for a few months!_

It did not help his mood. He talked about showing Steve Sweden one day, but now that he was here all he could think about was how Steve would react to his home. Or how he hoped he would react, anyway. 

“Thor!” someone shouted. He turned to behold the smiling face of his ex, William. His first ex. “I thought that was you! How are you?”

He went to hug him but Thor backed away with his arm out in front of him. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to wish you Happy New Year,” he said innocently. He was good at that, seeming innocent.

“Happy New Year,” Thor drawled. “What do you want?”

William seemed taken aback but he recovered quickly. He grinned his dimpled smile that used to drive Thor insane and ran a hand over his short, auburn hair. Thor steeled himself. If he was here, then he wanted something.

“I was hoping we could get coffee or something,” he said. “Pick up where we left off.”

“That was two years ago,” Thor said. “You waited two years to pick something back up?”

“Come on Thor,” he said, coming closer. Thor became very aware of his ex’s athletic frame coming closer to him, the hard body that he had learned so many things from during what had been his first love. “Can’t you leave the past in the past? It’s a new year, why don’t we try again and see what happens?”

Thor pulled away with a growl. “I intend to do exactly that,” he said. “Just not with you.”

“Come on, I’m trying to be a new person,” William said with a pout. “Can’t you at least give me credit for that? Can’t you let go of your anger for once?”

“I’m spoken for, Will,” he said. “It’s not going to happen.”

“Oh, you found yourself a fancy American boyfriend?” Will teased. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, love.”

“No,” he said. He turned around and started to walk back inside. He was suddenly feeling very tired and not at all in the mood for celebrating. Then he feels his ex grab his arm.

“I loved you Thor,” he said. He sounded sufficiently sad and broken up about it, too. “I don’t know what I did wrong. You broke my heart when you left me. Please… give me another chance.”

Thor turned around and scowled at the man. “Go find some other sap,” he snapped. He yanked his arm free and kept walking until he was back inside his grandparents’ house. They had died years ago, Thor barely remembered them. But his family inherited the home and hosted the family Christmas and New Year celebrations every year. His various cousins were all out celebrating and the house was empty, except for his brother, who grinned as he approached. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, brother,” he said. 

“Just William,” he replied, falling on the couch. Loki’s immaculate eyebrows rose. 

“Oh.” he said. 

“He was on about some nonsense about wanting to pick up where we left off,” Thor griped. He got up, went to the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of beer. Good German stuff, but at the moment he didn’t care what kind it was. He needed a drink. 

“What did you say?” Loki asked. 

“I told him I had someone in America and to go fuck himself, what do you think I said?” he snapped. Loki held up his hands as a gesture of good intention. Thor groaned. “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that, brother.”

“You miss Steve,” Loki said. It wasn’t a question. “I understand.”

“What of you?” Thor asked. “What of Tony?”

Loki sighed. “I’ve heard from him. He’s enjoying Malibu,” Loki replied. “Or at least, that’s what he says.”

“You think otherwise?” he asked. 

“Tony likes to play everything off as if it’s all a joke,” Loki said. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell when something is bothering him. But I get the feeling he’s chafing being around his parents all the time.”

Thor hummed sympathetically and offered him a bottle of beer. Loki accepted it and took a swig. They sat there drinking in companionable silence, commiserating over their mutual relationship pining. Thor felt a little pathetic about it actually. He had loved his exes, sort of, before everything went south with them, but he had never pined over them when he was in America. But he had known Steve for a short while and already any time apart seemed like forever. 

“It’s only a few more days, Thor,” Loki murmured. “We’ll be back soon.”

“Yes,” Thor whispered fervently.

“Try not to seem too eager to leave, though,” Loki chastised facetiously. “It wouldn’t do to make our family think that we don’t like being around them.”

Thor huffed a laugh. “Have I been that bad?” he asked. Loki gave him a sidelong look.

“You’ve been prowling around like a tomcat glaring at people all week,” Loki replied. Thor chuckled at that. It was probably true.  


* * *

Thor was woken up at 6 in the morning by a reply to his video. It was another video in response to his. He smiled as he saw Steve and Bucky cheering outside his apartment building waving sparklers around. 

“Happy New Year from New York, babe!” he said. 

“Yo Thor, you need to come back soon,” Bucky said. He was grinning as he slung an arm around his shoulders. “Stevie boy here’s been pining for ya all day, it’s getting ridiculous!”

“Shut up, Buck!” Steve said laughing, but his face was flushed. Whether it was from the cold or his friend’s teasing, he couldn’t tell. He wasn’t awake enough for that. “Anyway, I miss you, wish you were here, all those things. Hope you’re having fun over there!”

“Yeah but not too much fun!” Bucky added. Steve laughed and slugged him in the arm. Thor chuckled at the sight. The video ended with the sight of people filling the streets kissing and cheering as they rang in the new year. He felt a little jealous. His boyfriend, the only person he was really interested in kissing was on the other side of the world. He planned on making up for lost time as soon as he was back in America.

“Thor?” said one of his younger cousins, Lucy. She was 7. They were all sharing rooms for the night since there were so many of them there. He was sleeping on the pull out bed in the living room. 

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t think it was so loud.”

“Is that your boyfriend?” she asked with a yawn. 

“It is,” he said. “Do you want to see him?” 

She nodded and climbed up onto the bed with him. Thor started the video over.

“That’s him,” he said, pointing to him when he came on screen. 

“He’s cute,” she said. “Do you like him?” 

“I do, I like him very much, Lucy,” he replied. “He’s very special.”

“Yuck,” she said definitively and climbed down to go back to bed on her air mattress. Thor chuckled. He finished watching the video again before weariness lured him back to sleep with dreams of a fair face and eyes shining beneath the lights of the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense. <3


	33. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW. Also, wrap it before you tap it, folks. ;)

Steve was pacing in the airport waiting impatiently for Thor to arrive. Normally, he would have waited for Thor to invite him over to his house, but apparently Thor was as impatient to see him as he was and asked him to meet him at the airport. This information didn’t exactly set him at ease. It was almost like his first date all over again and his stomach was full of butterflies as he waited for them to land and get through security.

“Steve, son, you’re going to wear a ridge into the floor,” his mom said. “And you’re making me dizzy. Come sit down.”

“Sorry,” he said. His face blushed as he sat down. But his legs were just as antsy as one thumped up and down. His mother laughed. “It’s not funny!” 

“I’m sorry, it’s not, you’re right,” she said, still laughing. “You’re just so adorable.”

“I am not,” he replied indignantly. Or he tried to anyway. His voice actually squeaked. “I’m just… excited.” 

“Of course, dear,” she said. He should have come alone. It’s not like he didn’t know how to traverse the subway system in New York, after all. He’d only lived there his whole life. Hell, the only reason they hadn’t used them for their dates was because they were almost always at school and it was just easier to get a ride rather than hike to the nearest station. He’d done it before when he needed to get home or get to school while his mom was at work. He just preferred not to. 

A moment later he spotted Thor walking down the escalator. He smiled and waved until Thor saw him and that smile that took over his entire face lit up. Some kind of madness came over him and he broke into a run and jumped into Thor’s arms. He laughed as his boyfriend caught him and swung him around, laughing in his ear and _God_ it felt good to be in his arms again.

“My love, I’m never leaving you again,” Thor chuckled into his ear as he set him down on the floor. “I missed you so much.”

Steve replied by kissing him and Thor’s lips met his like a starving man. Steve didn’t care as onlookers cheered and applauded. Steve chuckled (he definitely didn’t giggle) into Thor’s mouth. He also definitely didn’t lean into his touch as Thor held his face in his big, callused hands. He did, however, relish the feeling of his beard against his face and his hair beneath his fingers and the sound like rumbling thunder in his lover’s chest as he hummed. 

“God I missed you,” he whispered, closing his eyes and breathing in the familiar, comforting scent of pine and wood smoke. Thor didn’t make any smart ass comment on that, just held him tighter. Steve felt his cock twitch as his boyfriend held him, a week and a half’s worth of abstinence suddenly within reach of being relieved. He smiled as Thor kissed the top of his head. He looked up at his face and smiled at the warmth in his eyes. He got up on his tiptoes and kissed him again. 

Someone coughed behind them and Steve looked over his shoulder to see his mom standing sheepishly off to the side. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” she said. “But I just got called in to work. I need to head on over. Are you okay getting back on your own?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Steve said. She smiled and waved goodbye as she hurried through the airport to get to work. 

“So,” he said, taking his boyfriend’s hand in his. “You wanna come over? My mom’s not home.”

“ _Älskling_ ,” Thor murmured, his eyes growing dark. “Are you trying to get me into bed?”

“I just thought,” Steve said with a smile. “That you might be tired and you might like to go somewhere… private.”

Thor chuckled. “I would love to come over, then.” He dropped his suitcase off with Mr. Baker and slung his carry-on bag over his shoulder. Then Steve took his hand and led him away.  


* * *

Having Thor in his apartment was a bit surreal. Steve was suddenly aware of just how small it was. They had a living room, a couple bedrooms, a kitchen, a dining room, a bathroom and that was basically it. The grand tour didn’t take that long. There was some part in the back of Steve’s mind that was still convinced that Thor was going to think better of his prospects and walk out the door. He didn’t. He barely paid any attention to the apartment aside from polite remarks until Steve showed him his bedroom. It was simple, smaller than Thor’s, with a simple queen size bed, a chest of drawers, and nightstand with a lamp. 

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” Steve said. 

“It’s lovely, _älskling_ ,” Thor said. He laid a hand on his cheek. “I don’t need the fancy life of luxury, Steve. As long as you’ll have me, I am happy.”

Steve wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Thor returned it gently, then deepened it. He sighed into Thor’s mouth, letting his tongue into his. Then Thor did something he had never done before. He picked Steve up and started carrying him to the bed. Steve laughed and wrapped his legs around his torso. They both laughed as Thor’s legs hit the edge of the bed and they tumbled down onto the surface. Steve rolled over on top of his lover and tore his shirt off. Thor hummed and ran his hands over his body. Steve shivered as his fingers brushed across the bundle of scars near his ribs. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Thor whispered, sitting up to kiss him. Steve snuck his hands under Thor’s shirt to feel the hard muscles of his body. Thor raised his arms to let Steve take his shirt off. Steve ran his hands over the familiar landscape teasing his nipples and rutting himself against Thor’s arousal. Thor groaned and pulled his hair, exposing Steve’s throat. He kissed and sucked his way up his neck, and Steve groaned as the sensation went straight to his cock. Thor grinned against his skin and continued his ministrations until he reached his ear. 

“You are wearing too much clothing,” he murmured lowly. “I want to touch you.”

“Please,” Steve begged, wrestling with his belt. He finally managed to get his pants down and kicked them to the floor and moaned as Thor’s hand snuck down beneath his boxers. His lover tugged on his cock gently, his rough fingers teasing the head as he pumped him. Steve arched into the touch. Thor pulled his boxers down, freeing his member from the cloth confinement. 

Thor flipped them over so that Steve was on his back and he propped himself over him. He made a show of unbuckling and unzipping his jeans and Steve’s mouth went dry as he gazed at the prominent bulge. He grinned when he realized that he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“You expected this outcome, huh?” Steve asked with a grin. 

“I blame you,” Thor said with a grin as he kicked his pants to the floor, pumping his shaft slowly, deliberately. “I am powerless against your charms, my bewitching _älskling_.”

“My charms?” Steve asked, chuckling. “You’re the one who’s looming over me, making me all hot and bothered.”

“You are suggesting that I am the bewitching one?” Thor asked, leaning down. “You are mad.”

“Maybe we’re both mad,” Steve whispered against his lips. He reached down and took Thor’s length in his hand and grinned when Thor hummed as he stroked him. 

“Well then,” Thor whispered. “Since we’re being mad, I have a request.”

“Anything,” Steve said. 

Thor leaned in to suck his skin below his ear before he whispered, “I want to suck your cock.”

“Christ,” Steve whispered. “Oh God, yes.”

Thor grinned and got up and looked around. “Do you know where I put my bag?” 

“What on earth do you need in your bag?” Steve asked, disappointed from the loss.

“Condoms,” Thor said.

“Oh. Right, you dropped it at the door.”

Thor chuckled as he got up and walked out of the room. Steve was suddenly glad they were alone as he watched Thor (or his ass, mainly) walk out of his room naked as the day he was born. He returned and kicked the door closed, fishing a condom out of his pack and unwrapping it. He made short work of the wrapping and began to wrap it over Steve’s cock.

“It’s pink,” Steve said. Thor’s only reply was to lick a single, long, slow stripe from the root to the head. Steve shivered and moaned beneath him. 

“It’s strawberry,” he said, looking into his eyes. Steve was held captive by his gaze as Thor wrapped his lips around the head of his cock and sank down on his cock.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve gasped. His lover’s mouth was hot and he resisted the urge to buck up into it as Thor sank down onto him. Thor’s eyes never left his, even when he reached the base of his cock. “Oh my God, that feel’s amazing.”

That may or may not have been a mistake, as Thor’s response was to hum around him. Steve cried out and arched into his mouth as Thor began to bob on the head of his cock, his tongue tracing along its length, teasing the head before going back down. Thor took one of Steve’s hands and put it on his head. Steve tangled his fingers into his hair and Thor hummed again around the head of his cock. 

“Thor, babe, please,” Steve hissed. “I’m not gonna last long.”

Thor popped off his cock and grinned. Saliva was dripping down his chin and into his beard, his eyes blown wide with lust and Christ save him if it wasn’t hottest, most depraved thing Steve had ever seen. It drove him wild. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “We don’t have to be anywhere today, do we? Or tomorrow.”

Steve’s laugh turned into a moan as Thor took him back in his mouth. He began to bob faster and Steve lost all ability to think coherently as he took him down to root and hummed again. He bucked up into his mouth as he came, filling the condom with his cum. Thor milked his cock through his orgasm and Steve was pretty sure he saw stars. He took the condom off with some clumsiness and tossed it into the trash. He collapsed back against his bed and Thor kissed his way up his stomach, his chest, his neck, until he reached his lips. Steve reached down between his legs and started pumping his cock.

“Can I…?” Steve asked. 

“Can you what?” Thor asked against his neck. 

“Can I… try it?” Steve asked. “On you?” 

Thor paused and rolled over on his back. His eyes were almost completely blown black with desire. “Oh yes,” he growled. 

Steve shivered. He jumped off the bed and bent down to get a condom out of Thor’s bag. He turned around when he heard Thor hum. He was stroking his cock lazily as he gazed in Steve’s direction.

“Have I mentioned recently that I think your ass is amazing?” Thor asked. Steve grinned as he tore the condom from the wrapper. 

“Yes,” Steve said. “But do you mind jogging my memory?”

“It should be illegal for you to wear jeans,” Thor murmured. “When you do, I have to stop myself from groping you in front of everyone. It’s so round and firm and…”

“Go on,” Steve said as he knelt before him on the bed. He wrapped the condom down over his lover’s cock.

“And I can’t wait until you let me know what it feels like, wrapped around my dick,” he whispered. Steve looked up at him and swallowed. He couldn’t deny that he fantasized about it, but the thought was… well, he wasn’t ready to go quite that far. 

“I want to, someday,” Steve murmured. 

“There’s no reason to rush, my love,” Thor said. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves today.”

Steve smiled and wrapped his mouth around the head of his boyfriend’s thick cock. The condom tasted like peppermint. Steve would never see the taste the same way again. Thor groaned as he did so. Steve went down on him. He was able to get a few inches in his mouth before it reached the back of his mouth and he gagged, coming off him for air. 

“Relax,” Thor said. “You don’t have to take the whole thing all at once.”

“I want to, though,” he replied. 

“Then it will take time,” Thor said. “And practice. But you don’t have to do it tonight.”

“Will you… walk me through?” he asked. Thor smiled and nodded. Steve bent back down to wrap his mouth around the head of Thor’s cock.

“Relax your jaw. Mind your teeth,” he said with a strained voice. Steve did so. He began to bob until he found a rhythm that worked and stuck with it. He tried humming around his cock like Thor had. It earned him a particularly loud moan from his lover, who tangled his fingers in his hair. Steve moaned as Thor tugged on his hair, the pain and pleasure of it was making him hard again. 

Thor began to mumble in Swedish again, like he did when he was getting close. He found himself grinning around him. He hollowed out his cheeks and Thor bucked up into his mouth. Steve coughed and came off, gasping for breath. He looked up into Thor’s eyes. He looked like he was amazed. He was still murmuring something in Swedish. Whatever it was it sounded almost… reverent. Steve slowly pumped his cock and licked it from the base to the head and grinned as he saw his boyfriend arch off the bed in into his grip. It was… incredible, knowing he had this kind of power over him, to make this small giant of a man pliant and desperate beneath him. He couldn’t believe it, but he loved it.

Thor began to buck into his mouth again. “Steve, _älskling_ ,” he moaned. He continued in Swedish before he seemed to realize. “I’m close.”

Steve just hummed and kept stroking and bobbing on his cock until he felt Thor’s cock pulse as he grunted. He kept going until Thor slumped back down against the cushions. Thor took his condom off with practiced ease and tossed it into the trash. Then he seemed to notice Steve’s boner and he sighed dramatically. 

“Insatiable,” he murmured, grabbing the bottle of lube.

“You don’t have to,” Steve said. Thor looked at him and grinned. He squeezed some lube out onto his hand and wrapped it around his cock, silencing any further protest from him. Steve gasped into his mouth, his hands roamed over Thor’s body, his chest, his abdomen, his ass. 

Oh God his ass, Steve thought as he squeezed it. Thor made a sound halfway between a moan and a chuckle. Steve took it as encouragement and grabbed a handful of his ass. Thor responded by tightening his grip around his dick. Steve moaned and bit Thor’s bottom lip. He could feel his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach. 

“Babe, Thor, I’m close,” he whined against his lips. Thor hummed and captured his lips in another searing kiss. Steve cried into his mouth as he came, his cum shooting onto his stomach and dribbling onto his lover’s knuckles.

“Steve,” Thor said, breathing heavily. “Do you have a rag?”

It took him a moment to realize what he was asking. Steve rolled over and reached into the drawer on the nightstand and tossed the rag back to Thor. His lover kissed the back of his neck when he was done. 

“Don’t tell me you’re all hot and bothered now, too,” Steve said. Thor chuckled and wrapped his arms around his body.

“Later,” he replied. “But I need to sleep now. 9 hours of flying and then sex. I am tired, love.”

Steve hummed and turned around to rest his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“Welcome home, Thor,” he whispered. “It’s good to have you back.”

Thor smiled and kissed him again. It was sweet and chaste and he closed his eyes to go to sleep.

“It is good to be back, Steve,” he murmured. “I missed you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was somewhat shortish, but they had sex, so it works out. 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom nonsense! <3


	34. 9 of Cups (Stability, Wishes Fulfilled)

They had a week to spend together before school was due to start up. The day after Thor returned was spent much like the first, alternating between sex and sleep and the occasional break for other needs. When they weren’t having sex or sleeping, they talked. About random, nonsensical things like stars, celebrities, sea turtles, sports, and anything in between. Steve traced patterns onto Thor’s body as he listened to him reminisce about his summers playing rugby or soccer. 

“Are you planning to tattoo my body, Steve?” Thor asked with a laugh. Steve chuckled. “Because if so, I’ve always wanted a dragon.”

“I could be tracing the dragon’s fire breath,” Steve mused. He could picture his boyfriend with a dragon tattoo. It could be pictured flying on his back with the tail coming up to curl around his bicep. 

“Make it lightning,” Thor murmured. Steve looked up at him and grinned as he shook his head. 

“Dragons don’t breathe lightning,” he said, laughing. “They breathe fire. Everyone knows that.”

“He’s special,” he said with a pout. “Stop bashing my dreams.”

Steve laughed and pressed a kiss to his pouty lips until Thor returned it. “Fine, I’ll make him with lightning,” he said. “Happy, you big baby?”

“Yes,” Thor with that big, dorky smile

“It would probably be easier to use your back with the dragon flying below and storm clouds on top,” Steve mused. “Or if he really needs to breathe lightning, it could be on one of your biceps and the head could go over your shoulder and breathe lightning across your chest.”

“ _Älskling_ , I was just joking,” Thor replied, an amused smile on his face. “But I like that idea. It sounds badass.”

Steve hummed and rested his head against Thor’s arm. His arm came to rest over his chest and started tracing circles on him. He suppressed a moan as Thor traced a finger around his nipple, close enough to be teasing. But they had just finished their latest round and Steve “the insatiable” was in the mood for a break. 

“I’m thinking of getting a tattoo,” he said. Thor didn’t pause, but he hummed.

“What kind?” he asked. 

“I was thinking of getting one of Michael,” he said. 

“Who’s Michael?” Thor asked, a bit sharply. Steve chuckled. _He’s jealous_ , he thought to himself. He laughed again. “What’s so funny?”

“Michael is an archangel,” Steve explained. “I remember that much from Sunday school. Anyway, he’s supposed to fight the devil or he may have kicked him out of heaven or something.”

“Sounds impressive,” Thor said, noncommittally. “Where would you put him?”

“On my rib cage,” he replied. “Over the… the scars there. He’d have a shield and sword and be holding down a snake.”

“Why a snake? Sorry to ask, but I do not know much about Christian stuff,” he said.

“It’s fine, I don’t know much more than you do. It’s supposed to represent the devil or something,” Steve said. Thor hummed. 

“What about the other scars?” Thor asked. 

“I haven’t decided yet,” Steve said. “But I want to do something to like, leave them in the past, or something.”

“I understand,” Thor said. 

“You don’t mind?” Steve asked. 

“Steve, it is your body,” Thor said, kissing him. “If it makes you feel good, I am happy. Besides, tattoos are sexy.”

Steve laughed and kissed him again. Thor grinned against his lips and rolled over on top of him. Steve sighed as he felt his lover start to harden against his thigh. 

“Who’s insatiable now?” Steve asked. Thor silenced him by nipping at his ear. 

“We can stop if you really want,” Thor whispered.

“Don’t you dare,” Steve replied.  


* * *

The first week of school came as all returns to school do. With rowdy kids and tired teachers alike wishing that the break had lasted longer than it did. If there was a sympathetic bone in any of the teachers who taught the Advanced Placement classes, they made no appearance. Even Ms. Foster gave a small mountain of lab reports after she was finished going over the syllabus for the rest of the year. Steve was starting to wonder if he was going to have to sell some of his soul to the devil in order to actually survive the school year. 

By the end of the week, however, everyone had survived. No major catastrophes had occurred and outside of having plain old, regular anxiety, Steve was doing pretty well. He would take regular anxiety over the all-consuming terror that visited regularly any day. So that Friday, he and Thor decided to stay for the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. It was a decently sized club. There was some show of Tony, the president (because _of course he was_ ) announcing the plans for the upcoming week, which apparently included karaoke night at a local teen bar. Steve wasn’t sure about it, especially when Thor announced that he wanted to go. He made a mental note to bring earplugs. 

Aside from the itinerary, the meeting was mostly a time for just hanging out and catching up after the break. Tony ducked out as soon as his part was done to get to auditions for some Shakespearean play that Steve couldn’t remember the name of. Steve and Thor were hanging out by one of the lab tables when a new face appeared. 

“Um, excuse me,” she said, she held out her hand timidly. “I am Wanda. Wanda Maximoff. I’m an… exchange student.”

Steve saw Thor’s eyes light up at her voice. He said something in German. Steve didn’t know anything about the language, but he could recognize the question when he heard it. Wanda’s eyes lit up and they launched into a conversation that Steve couldn’t follow if his life depended on it. He awkwardly sipped his punch, feeling a bit like a third wheel. But he figured Thor was trying to make her feel welcome. They had that bit about being from different countries in common, after all.

“This is Steve,” Thor said as he suddenly switched to English. “My boyfriend. He’s an artist.”

Steve blushed a little (a lot) at the pride in his voice. “It’s nice to meet you, Wanda,” he said. Her eyes widened even further as she regarded him. 

“What do you do?” she asked. “I mostly play the guitar and violin, mainly, but I also am a photographer.”

“That’s quite a combination,” Steve said, chuckling. “I just sketch with colored pencils. Nothing fancy.”

“ _Älskling_ , you are too modest, as always,” Thor replied.

Steve blushed and moved to hide his face in his cup. Thor just laughed.

“So Wanda,” he asked. “Where are you from? Your English and German are very good.”

“Romania,” she said. “What about you?” 

“Sweden,” Thor replied. “It is good to meet another European. Americans only speak English and it gets dull after a while.”

“Hey!” Steve protested. “I took 3 years of Spanish.”

Thor scoffed, giving him a sidelong look. “And how much of that do you remember?” he asked.

“Not a word,” he admitted.

“See? You can’t learn a language just in a classroom,” Thor replied. “The best way to learn a language is to use it in real life.”

“Do not worry Steve,” Wanda said with a glint of mirth in her eyes. “It’s not too late to learn.”

“I could teach you Swedish,” Thor said. Wanda made a face. 

“Are you crazy?” she demanded. “Teach him German first, it’s more useful.” 

She waved a boy over who looked to be the same age as her. He had warm brown eyes and he walked with a swagger in his step, cocky and self-assured. He had wavy blond hair that was dark at the roots as opposed to her straight brown. For some reason he reminded Steve of Bucky, just a little bit. He said something to her in a language he didn’t recognize, but he figured it was Romanian. 

“This is my brother, Pietro,” she said. “Pietro this is Thor and his boyfriend, Steve.”

“Good to meet you,” Steve said, shaking his hand. “How are you finding New York?”

“It is incredible,” he replied with a smile. “You have everything here. In Romania, we lived in Bucharest and it is beautiful, but New York is incredible.”

Steve felt a small amount of pride that the city he called his home measured up to some old European cities. He always imagined that the architecture in old European cities must make New York look like a sprawling, if modern, mess. He imagined it was like walking into the past. His city was amazing and not everything was so modern, but it definitely seemed younger.

“I have always wanted to see Bucharest,” Thor replied with a smile. “I want to take a tour of Europe someday and see everything.”

“It is a beautiful city,” Wanda agreed. The three of them began talking and debating the various cities in continental Europe, where they most wanted to go. Steve interjected every now and then about where he would want to go if he had the chance, but aside from that he felt like there wasn’t much to say. He had been in one place all his life, aside from occasional trips to New Jersey or Philadelphia. He became uncomfortably aware of how well travelled this group was in comparison to him. 

His awkwardness was interrupted by Ms. Foster making an announcement that the club meeting was over since the school was closing. 

“Everyone, don’t forget that we have the charity karaoke night for the Trevor Project coming up next week,” she said. “We hope to see you all there. It’s gonna be a great night!”

“Steve, we have to go,” Thor said. “It’s going to be so much fun!”

Steve made a valiant effort to say no, but faced with such childlike enthusiasm made it difficult. Thor was actually excited to do this and it was hard to deny him. He would just have to take earplugs and hope that whatever Thor decided to sing, it wouldn’t be too loud. Or maybe he could get the bar to turn up the music to drown him out without everyone going deaf. Not likely, but possible. 

“You and Pietro have to come as well,” Thor continued. “It will be a night to remember!”

“I would love to go,” Wanda replied smiling. “We have nothing planned that night.”

Thor turned to Steve with his eyes wide and brimming with excitement, making Steve smile in spite of himself. He couldn’t resist him when he looked like that, not when it was about rollercoasters or apparently karaoke. 

“Yes, I’ll go,” he sighed. “But only cause you’re cute.”

Thor beamed and pressed a kiss to his temple. Steve grumbled something about him being a big baby as he hid his blushing face. He was looking forward to going out with him and the new kids from Romania. If only Bucky could see him now, making friend with international students and slowly but surely coming out of the shell he had been in for so many years. They got to the front of the school and he saw his mom and Mr. Baker chatting together as they waited to pick up their respective boys. 

“You’re still coming over tomorrow, right?” Thor asked. “To study.”

“Yeah, you bet,” Steve said. Thor smiled and kissed him lightly. 

“I hope your appointment with Dr. Erskine goes well,” Thor said as he headed towards his car.  


* * *

Dr. Erskine was as warm and welcoming as always. Steve relayed how his holidays had gone, how he had coped with Thor leaving for Sweden for a while, how he felt about that. He talked about how he was making new friends and how different his life seemed so different now than it was last year. 

“And how has your anxiety been since we last saw each other?” Dr. Erskine asked. 

“I’ve been having a good time of it lately,” he said. “It’s there, but it seems more manageable now. I still have panic attacks, but they’re less frequent than before.”

Dr. Erskine smiled and nodded. “Well, in light of that, how would you feel about coming off the medication entirely?”

Steve paused. It was true, they had been gradually reducing his medication from when he first started the treatment for his disorder and he knew that getting off the meds entirely was always the goal, but he was still unsure about what that would mean for him now.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “I’ve been on meds in some form or fashion for so long that I’m not sure how to feel.”

“Your ability to function has improved greatly since we’ve been working together,” Dr. Erskine said. “I remember when you came in a couple months ago and you were convinced that you were not making any progress. But today you tell me that your life is much easier now than it was before.”

“But what if I’m not ready?” Steve asked. 

“Nothing need be decided now,” his counselor said. “But it is something to discuss with your doctor. The decision is yours.”

He walked out of his session feeling more anxious than he had going in. That Dr. Erskine believed that he could do it was a small comfort, but he was still nervous about actually going off his meds. Who knew if it would last, if he would be able to function at all. Theoretically, he wanted to be able to function like a normal person. But at the same time, this had been part of his life for so long. Who would he be if it worked? Would it get worse and he’d have to go back on? Would he be fine? How long would it take to figure out what life was like for him? What if he started having more panic attacks? What if he wasn’t as in control as he thought he was? Whatever happened, his life was about to change. 

* * *

Unfortunately, Steve had little time to adjust to this news. Bucky was returning to Penn State today. This time, Thor came with him to the station to help him see Bucky off. Thor followed them into a fast food joint where they killed time until Bucky’s train was ready for boarding. Apparently it was tradition at this point for the two of them to hang out eating burgers until he left, so he joined in. They weren’t that bad considering the fact that it was a fast food place. 

“Ugh, I don’t want to go back, Steve,” Bucky said, hanging his head. “Why did you let me go to Penn State anyway?”

“Football scholarship,” Steve replied. “Besides, you’re starting your kinesiology major this semester! Aren’t you excited?”

“Sure,” Bucky said hesitantly. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just worried I’m gonna suck.”

“That kind of attitude is gonna bite you in the ass someday,” Steve said. 

Bucky grinned. “Someone should,” he replied. “It’s a nice ass.”

Steve snorted his drink and erupted into a horrible coughing fit. Thor couldn’t help but laugh at the top of his lungs as his boyfriend doubled over, trying to clean off his face and shirt from the soda. Bucky was laughing his head off, too. Steve glared at both of them. 

“I hate you,” he declared. “Both of you. I’m not gonna miss you at all.”

“Oh come on, Stevie,” Bucky said. “You know you love me. And you’re never gonna stay mad at Thor.”

“Nope, we’re done,” Steve said adamantly. “I’m hooking up with Loki and Tony now.”

“Well, just as forewarning,” Bucky said. “You’re gonna in for some crazy stuff and it’s gonna last all night long.”

“I did not need to know that about them,” Thor groaned. “It’s bad enough that they’re all over each other in public, I do not need to know what they get up to in private.” 

“Why?” Steve asked. Thor almost groaned. Bucky got a wicked gleam in his eye.

“Tell me, Stevie,” he said. “Do you know what a dom is?”

This time Thor snorted into his drink. Baldr must have not approved of his laughing at his lover’s expense or something. Or perhaps Loki’s namesake was messing with him. Or perhaps his brother set his namesake on him out of spite or just because he was bored. 

“What’s a dom?” Steve asked, pointedly ignoring Thor’s plight. Dear gods, do not let Bucky tell my sweet, innocent boyfriend this, Thor prayed silently. 

“Maybe Thor will tell you,” Bucky said with a wink. “If you ask nicely.”

Steve looked at him expectantly and gasped as Thor actually blushed about as red as Steve did at the drop of a hat. Both of them started laughing at them. A god was definitely out to get him today, but this was one subject that Thor was pretty sure Steve was not ready for. Best to let this be.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he replied. Steve rolled his eyes while Bucky snickered and Thor thanked the gods that neither of them pressed the issue. 

The rest of the their brief time together was spent rehashing old stories from before Thor knew Steve. He gained a newfound respect for his little lover after hearing about some of the shenanigans he and Bucky got up to over the years. Most of it was normal teenager stuff like sneaking into an R rated movie or something. But then there was the story about how Bucky had dared Steve to graffiti the back of a restaurant in Brooklyn. 

“We almost got arrested, Buck,” Steve said, flushed with a smile on his face. “That was a terrible idea.”

“Dude, it was worth it to see you draw a giant dick on that wall,” Bucky cried. The corners of Thor’s mouth crept up in a smile at the thought. 

“You little hellion,” he said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Tell me this place is still around, I want to see it.”

“Really?” Steve asked.

“It got scrubbed clean,” Bucky said, fishing his phone out of his pockets. “But I have a picture.”

Sure enough, there was a picture of a big, blue penis on the side of a building and another picture of Steve putting it there. Thor laughed at it for longer than was strictly necessary, but the thought of his tight-laced boyfriend tagging buildings was just too much.

“Just think of what your dad would say if he only knew,” Steve said with a grin. “His opinion of me would drop through the floor.”

“I think it’s a bit late for that,” Thor said with a twinge of regret. His father’s irrational opposition to his relationship with Steve was still a bit of a sore spot. 

Shortly after this story they made their way to the terminal where Bucky would leave to get on his train. Thor could tell that Steve was saddened by it. He squeezed his hand comfortingly. When they arrived, Steve practically tackled his friend in a hug, much in the same way that he had when Thor returned from Sweden a couple weeks ago. He felt a faint bit of jealousy as he watched Bucky’s arms wrap around his lover. He suppressed it immediately. Steve was allowed to have close friends. The gods knew that he had few enough of them without Thor getting territorial whenever he wanted to show some kind of affection with them. 

“I’ll miss you,” he heard his lover say. Bucky closed his eyes and hugged him a little tighter. _Curious_ , Thor thought to himself. 

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too, you punk,” Bucky replied. “I’ll text you when I get back.”

“You’d better, you jerk.”

Bucky walked off with his bags and waved one last time before disappearing through the terminal. Steve stood there, laced his fingers together with Thor’s and squeezed. Thor returned the gesture, trying his best to comfort his lover. 

“It’s silly, isn’t it?” Steve said. “I keep thinking it’ll be easier next time, watching him leave. And I have more friends now and everything and it’s still hard to see him leave.”

“He is your best friend,” Thor replied softly. “It is not silly in the slightest. I miss my friends every time I leave Sweden.”

“I’ve never asked about your friends in Sweden,” Steve said. 

“We are all part of a little pagan community there,” Thor explained. “You would like them. You are as brave and fierce as any of them.”

Steve was silent for a moment. Thor couldn’t tell what was going through his mind, whether he was sad or afraid or just thinking. He refrained from asking. Then, Steve started walking in the direction of the subway silently.

“Thank you for coming,” he said as they waited for the train. Thor squeezed his hand again and smiled down at him. 

“Anytime,” he replied. “I just wish I had more time to get to know him.”

“Why’s that?” Steve asked, genuinely curious.

“He is your best friend,” Thor said. “And he seems a good man. I like him.”

“You played football together,” Steve pointed out.

“But we never really hung out outside of that,” Thor countered. “I do not know much about him beyond his athletic ability.”

Steve was silent for a moment. “Bucky’s coming back for spring break in March,” he said. “Maybe we can all hang out sometime.”

Thor smiled down at him. “I would like that.”  


* * *

Bucky turned around as he was leaving to steal one final glance at Steve. He was walking away, hand in hand with Thor, whom Bucky had once had a crush on in between dealing with his feelings for Steve. But since Thor never really responded to anything Bucky had done, he gave up eventually. 

He tried not to feel bitter that they had ended up together as soon as he left. Sometimes it was easy, like when they were all laughing together or hanging out. Sometimes… not so much. Sometimes Bucky had to remind himself that he might have what he wanted if he had just had the nerve to say something.

But they were happy together. He couldn’t say something now. However much he might want to be with Steve, or Thor, Bucky cared more about their happiness. Bucky would just mope on the train ride back to Pennsylvania and try to get that out of his system by the time he met his friends at college. It always felt a little like running away or disappearing when he left Brooklyn for Penn State. It always came with a mix of sadness and relief. Bucky could forget his relationship troubles there, throw himself into football practice or schoolwork. 

_Who knows?_ he thought. _Maybe Nat’s right. Maybe something might still come of it._

Bucky tried to hold onto that hope as he turned around and headed for the train. Nat was usually right about these things. Hell, that was how she and Clint got together and they were as good a couple as Steve and Thor. He got on the train, grabbed a seat, put his earphones in, and turned up some music. Bucky had a few hours to sulk before his stop. He intended to make use of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! <3 Also, this is probably a good time to mention that I'm going to the beach next week, so there may or may not be updates. Not sure, yet.
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense! :)


	35. Worry and Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: sexual harassment 
> 
> The second part of this chapter is NSFW.

The downside of it being the new year was that Gilmore Hodge was out of his cast and thus, up to his old tricks again. He stayed far away from Steve, though, on account that he knew either Thor or Loki could easily take him in a fight. However, that didn’t stop him from going after freshmen and sophomores. As usual, Mr. Frederickson was keen to look the other way whenever anyone was suffering under Hodge’s bullying, until someone tried to fight back. Ms. Foster had tried to fight back, to stand up for them, but Mr. Frederickson was adamant. And since the principal himself was more or less at the mercy of the school board (on which Mr. Frederickson had many friends) the nasally weasel of an assistant principal was essentially the most powerful man in the school.

Which was how Steve, Wanda, and Pietro all ended up in detention the Tuesday after the weekend was over. Hodge had seen Wanda walking alone and saw her as a prime target for his particular brand of bullying/flirting (he tried to touch her butt). Steve was on his way to the spot to meet his friends and boyfriend when it happened and he got between them. He paid for it with a bruise on his stomach. Hodge was about to break his face when Pietro showed up to break up that fight. Wanda had taken out her phone and started videotaping the whole thing. Mr. Frederickson, as usual, ignore Hodge, confiscated the phone, and given all three of them detention for the next two days. He must have been in a bad mood. At least they had a teacher who was in a good mood and let them talk during detention. She must have been one of the ones who didn’t see the point in making them be quiet at the end of the school day. 

“Is it always like this?” Wanda demanded. “America is so backwards.”

“Well, I can’t speak for all of America,” Steve said as he sat down gingerly at the desk. “But yeah, it’s usually like this. Mr. Frederickson is the worst of the lot, but no one really does anything about the bullying here. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, we are used to this sort of thing, even in Romania,” Pietro said, straddling the seat with his arms over the back. 

“You were bullied in Romania as well?” Steve asked.

“Not exactly,” Pietro demurred.

“We are Romani,” Wanda said. Steve stared blankly at her for a solid minute.

“What’s Romani?” he asked. Wanda groaned and looked at her brother. Something unsaid passed between them and if Steve ever doubted that telepathy between twins was real, those doubts were washed away. 

“You would probably know it as the term ‘gypsy,’” Pietro said finally. Wanda punched him in the arm and he muttered something in another language as he rubbed it. “But please do not use that term. It is a slur.”

“They exist?” Steve asked. “I thought they were just a thing from that Disney movie.”

The two of them scoffed and rolled their eyes. “No we are not that,” Wanda said. “And we are not nomads, either. That is a stereotype.”

“What are you then?” Steve asked.

“The first Romani were from northern India,” Wanda explained. “The Romani language has Sanskrit roots. They travelled to Europe and the people they encountered thought they were from Egypt, so they called them ‘gypsies.’”

“People in Europe, they claim we are vagrants,” Pietro said. “They claim that we do not work and that we are prone to turning to crime.”

“That’s terrible,” Steve replied. 

“It is what it is,” Wanda said. “Our family is trying to change that for the Romani in Romania, but it is a slow process.”

They sat in awkward silence for a while. Steve didn’t really know what to say. He’d never even heard of people like them before, which was something because there was surely something of everything in New York City. Of course, he didn’t really pay that much attention to all that. He figured he was just used to it by now. 

“So Steve,” Wanda said, finally breaking the silence. “Do you sing? Are you going to sing for karaoke on Friday?”

He laughed. “Not really and no, I don’t plan on it,” he replied. “I’m just going to the karaoke night because Thor wants to go.”

“Does Thor sing?” Pietro asked. “I bet he has a nice baritone or bass voice.”

Steve laughed even harder. “Thor can’t sing at all, no,” he said. “That doesn’t stop him, though.”

Wanda laughed at that. Pietro looked nervous, like he was afraid of what he would have to endure on Friday night. Steve laughed at his face remembering the first time he heard Thor sing on the day of the Homecoming game. He usually laughed at him now, which inclined Thor to sing more often. He claimed to like the way Steve looked when he laughed. Regardless, Steve never asked Thor not to sing because it made him happy. 

“What sports does he play?” Pietro asked. “Does he play… how do you Americans say? Soccer?”

“He does play soccer, but I have no idea how. He seems a bit big for it,” Steve said. “He also plays rugby in Europe and American football here.”

Wanda rolled her eyes and Pietro snorted gracefully. “Rugby, yeah he seems the type to play,” he laughed. “And you would be surprised, there are some big guys who play… soccer.”

Steve wasn’t convinced. Thor seemed to be nearly twice his size and he was all muscle. He was fast on the football field, sure, but he wasn’t sure how that would translate to soccer. Most soccer players he saw seemed more likely to be slim, sleek, and fast rather than big and bulky. But, stranger things had happened. 

Detention passed by soon enough and the three of them made their way to the front of the building. Steve still wondered how they identified, if they were gay or bi or something or if they were straight. He had met them at the GSA club meeting, after all. But he figured it was rude to ask. He noticed Thor waiting for them near the front and smiled, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together.

“I should pummel Mr. Frederickson,” he grumbled when they were together. Pietro cheered at the suggestion.

“I would be tempted to let you, babe,” Steve replied. Then he noticed Loki who was clearly sulking with his hood pulled up over his face leaning in the corner of the wall. “What’s with you?”

Loki mumbled something he couldn’t quite make out. He looked to his brother for translation who sighed.

“He got turned down for the lead role in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar,” he explained.

“You’re kidding!” Steve exclaimed. He knew nothing at all about the play, aside from the ending. “He’d be perfect for the role!”

“Thanks, Steve,” Loki said, pouting. “Mr. Coulson said that I lack conviction. That was why I didn’t get the part.”

“What did you get?” he asked. “You did get cast somewhere right?” 

“Brute,” Loki said. “Tony got the role of Caesar.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “Well, at least it’s a prominent role?”

Loki scoffed but a ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. Honestly, Loki seemed more likely to be cast as a villain than a hero. To Steve, anyway. He had the calm, easy grace, but he had seen him snap and be ruthlessly efficient before. He was good at manipulation as well, when he wanted to be. Usually when he was about to prank someone. It got to the point where Steve never went anywhere alone with him for fear of something happening like had happened to Odin during the Thanksgiving dinner. He smiled at the memory of that big, intimidating man with a face and beard covered in glitter roaring for his son.

That would explain why Tony wasn’t there with him. They usually hung out all the time and they were nearly as inseparable as he and Thor were. _Well as far as relationship squabbles go, that’s gotta be right near the top_ , he thought. The problem was, he had no idea how to help Loki. He wasn’t like Thor in the slightest. It was almost as if someone had designed him to be Thor’s foil in every way. 

Thor gave him a sympathetic look and shook his head. _Not a good time, then_ , Steve realized. He settled for simply walking out into the windy winter day. Snow was beginning to fall. He grinned as Thor took a deep breath and sighed, a great cloud of hot breath forming from his mouth and floating away in the winter wind. 

“Do you need a ride anywhere?” Thor offered.

“No, thank you,” Wanda replied. “Our ride is here as well. We will see you tomorrow, yes?”

Thor replied by embracing the two of them, who were definitely not expecting this mountain of muscle to get in their space. Steve laughed as he saw Pietro’s alarmed face as he returned the hug awkwardly. He imagined that’s how he had appeared the first few times Thor hugged him. Wanda seemed less surprised, but was no less awkward in returning the gesture.

“Until tomorrow, my friends,” Thor said. “You have my thanks for helping him.”

Pietro blushed. “It was nothing,” he said. “I was looking after my sister.”

“I was returning the favor,” Wanda replied. “He is brave for one so small.”

Steve thought his heart might melt when Thor turned to him, his face full of pride and love. “Yes he is,” he said. He waved his last goodbyes and walked back over. “So, my place or yours?”

Steve thought for a moment. His mom was gone away at work, which was why she wasn’t here to pick him up today. On the other hand, Thor had invited him to his home, and it was a comfortable home unless he was cornered by his dad. 

“Yours,” Steve said. Thor smiled. 

“Step on it, Mr. Baker,” he said.

“Of course, sir.”

* * *

“Can I ask you something?” Steve asked when they were finally alone. Loki had gone to his room to sulk or something, so they were alone in the upstairs living room. He closed his eyes for a moment. It was peaceful. The artwork on the walls and the design all made it feel warm and inviting. And of course, Steve was resting his head on Thor’s lap. That always helped.

“Is that the question?” Thor asked. Steve opened one eye to glare at him. Thor grinned and nodded.

“Dr. Erskine says that since I’ve made good progress with my anxiety,” he explained. “That the doctor who prescribes my meds may decide that I no longer need them. But it’s also my decision if I want to go off them entirely.”

Thor hummed. “You want to know if you should go off?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I mean, you didn’t see me a year and a half ago when I first started this whole treatment thing. I could barely go out of the apartment without being crippled by the anxiety. I used to be triggered just by walking past a liquor store. My meds used to be a lot stronger than they are now. These days they’re just the bare minimum dose.”

Thor raised his eyebrows. “I cannot imagine that, seeing you now,” he said. 

“I know I’ve come a long way, even if I still get panic attacks sometimes,” Steve said. “But… I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Thor asked. “I have seen you face down bullies and conquer your fears. What are you afraid of?”

Steve looked up at him and swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Thor, I’ve had this for so long,” he said. “I’ve been having anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. If I don’t have them anymore… who am I?”

“Will you stop being anxious when you are no longer taking your meds?” Thor asked.

“No,” Steve admitted. “I’ll probably find a way to cope. But still, my life has been defined by this for so long. I don’t know what will happen after.”

Thor gazed down at him and brought his hand to his lips, kissing the fingers gently. 

“You are Steven Grant Rogers,” he said. “An artist. A man who faces down bullies without wavering. Who has come through trials no one should ever have experience. Who has looked his fears in the eye and came through. Who has a kind heart and gentle hands. And you are the man I love.”

Steve took the hand Thor held and rested it against his face and smiled up at him, a tear falling from the corner of his eye and onto the denim fabric of Thor’s jeans. Thor squeezed his hand, looking down at him with such love in his eyes that Steve felt his heart swell. 

“Whatever you decide to do,” Thor said. “I’ll support you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I still don’t know what to do about it, but thank you.” 

“My Steve,” he replied. “You are a good man. Nothing will ever change that about you.”

“So are you,” Steve replied, propping himself up to sit in Thor’s lap. “The best man that I know.”

Their kiss was sweet and gentle and loving. Steve went to deepen the kiss, to explore Thor’s mouth with lazy, familiar ease. His lover moaned into his mouth and Steve sighed as he felt Thor’s hands roam over his back. He arched into his touch, dragging his small body against his lover’s. When Steve parted to breathe, he rested his forehead against Thor’s as they gasped for breath together, their chests heaving. 

“I can’t get enough of you,” Thor whispered against his lips. “Will you let me?”

“Let you what?” Steve asked. He could feel his hardness pressing against him, straining against the confines of his pants. 

“Take care of you,” Thor whispered.

“Always,” Steve murmured. Thor grinned and lifted him up from the couch like he was nothing. Steve had all of a second to wrap his legs around waist and his arms around his neck as he was carried from the living room to his bedroom. He sighed as Thor kicked the door closed and laid him down gently on the bed. His hands began roam over his body, reverently exploring him as he sometimes did. It made Steve heady, feeling loved and desired like this. 

Thor rose to kiss his lips again, trailing kisses down his throat, nipping and sucking at the tender flesh. Steve couldn’t help the wanton moan that escaped his lips. His boyfriend chuckled lowly and continued his journey down the length of his body. He stripped his shirt off and threw it across the room and Steve sighed as he felt his lover’s hands on his body. It had taken him a few tries to get comfortable with this, with Thor worshiping his body. But today was one of those days when he just wanted to skip to the action.

“Thor please,” he moaned. “Please, I want you.”

“But you are so pretty like this,” Thor purred. “How can I resist feeling your body against mine?”

“Please, dammit,” Steve growled. “I just… please touch me.”

Thor relented with a wicked smile and reached down to palm Steve’s erection through his pants. Steve hissed and arched up into the touch, rutting himself against his hand, his lover, desperate for some kind of release. Thor slowly, painstakingly undid the button on his pants, pulling them down until Steve was left in only his boxers. Then, as if he was possessed with some evil, torturous entity, he ignored Steve’s member straining against the fabric of his boxers and instead kissed and sucked on the flesh of his inner thigh. Steve gasped at the sensation. This was new. Thor said he liked his thighs, but this was the first time he had actually done anything more than touch them. And it felt amazing. 

“Jesus Christ,” he swore. He took a deep, trembling breath as Thor purred against his skin. “Oh, God save me.”

“It’s okay,” Thor murmured. “You can just call me Thor. Or babe. I like it when you call me that.”

Steve tried to scowl down at him. “How about smart ass?” he asked. “That good?”

Thor laughed and returned his attention to his clothed erection. He had that cheeky grin on his face like whenever he made a clever joke. The kind that made Steve want to groan or kiss. One of the two. Thor just met his eyes and moved to the other thigh and kissed it gently before he began to suck. Steve threw his head back into the pillows and moaned as Thor made his way, as slowly as he pleased, up his thighs towards his member. 

As soon as he was there he knelt over him on the bed and began to strip himself, a private show that Steve had all to himself. His cock sprang free at last and Steve felt his mouth water at the sight. They still did frottage and hand jobs, but Steve’s new favorite sensation was having his lover’s cock in his mouth, feeling the thickness and weight of it against his tongue. His golden tan that seemed too dark for someone who grew up in Sweden had faded to a much paler shade. But it was gorgeous nonetheless, the way his muscles shifted under his skin. The artist in him could be satisfied drawing him for the rest of his life. 

That thought made him pause. The rest of his life was a long time. He was only 19. What would he know about lifelong relationships or how to tell who was the one for that? Hell, he was already trying to figure out how they were going to make it to the year and a day thing he had agreed to with Odin. He knew Thor returned to Sweden during the summer. He had barely gotten through a week and a half without him. How would he manage for three months?

“You are fretting, my love,” Thor whispered, rising to kiss him on the lips. “Relax. Let me show you how much I love you.”

Steve moaned into the kiss. Thor’s hands ran up along his body, caressing, loving. Thor wrapped himself around Steve, his mouth descending to his throat, kissing and sucking his way up to Steve’s ear and his breath hitches as he feels his boyfriend’s hot breath against him before he nips at his earlobe. 

“Thor, please,” he begged. “I need you so much.”

“And I you, my love,” he whispered. Then he did another thing they had never done before. He flipped over and presented his cock to Steve’s lips. At the same time as Steve stroked Thor’s member, Thor moaned and slid his boxers down and tossed them aside, wrapping his hand around Steve’s member, already damp with precum. 

“My love,” he murmured. Steve shivered with anticipation as Thor’s breath caressed his member. “Toss me a condom.”

Steve reached back to the nightstand and fished out a pair of condoms. He eagerly unwrapped his and wrapped it around Thor’s thick length. He drew one long lick up the length of his member experimentally, grinning smugly as Thor groaned his pleasure. Cherry. Thor moaned against him before he felt his hot mouth take him down to the root. He gasped and bucked into Thor’s hot, willing mouth as he wrapped his lips around the head of Thor’s cock. He started to bob his head on the shaft in tandem with Thor’s, sucking and licking the head eagerly. He wrapped his arms around Thor’s waist and grabbed his perfect, firm globes of his ass and squeezed. Thor moaned around his cock and it sent sparks of pleasure through Steve’s body as he moaned around the head of his lover’s length in kind. 

One of Thor’s hands reached back to grab his ass. The other reached up to massage his balls. Steve moaned as Thor came off him to lick a long stripe down the underside of his cock and into his balls. He also gasped when his lover popped one into his mouth and moaned at the feeling of his hot, wet mouth on his skin. It felt incredible, until Thor returned to his cock and resumed sucking him. Steve closed his eyes and savored the feelings of sucking and being sucked. It was incredible.

“Why didn’t we do this before?” he asked, licking the head of his lover’s member. Thor didn’t even take time to answer aside from a moan around his cock as he took him to the root. Steve took as much of Thor’s member as he could before he gagged. It was more than last time, but it was a challenge to suppress his gag reflex. He kept at it though, bobbing on Thor’s thick length.

“Steve,” Thor moaned. He said that Steve couldn’t understand, aside from it not being English. He must be close. Steve hummed around his mouthful of cock as he felt it pulse, felt Thor grunt and moan around him, felt his legs and arms jerk against him as he filled the condom with his seed. It was a full body experience and Steve loved seeing him come undone beneath him. Steve kept going, milking his lover’s cock until there was nothing left. Thor moaned and collapsed on the bed with his mouth still around Steve’s cock. Then he flipped around so that he was facing Steve and discarded the used condom before he resumed his sucking. He looked up into his face and Steve saw his eyes, blown almost black with lust. Steve could feel his climax building. 

“Thor,” he groaned. “Please, I’m close.”

Thor hummed around his cock, looking into his face, his eyes. Steve tangled his hands in his hair, pulling gently on him, urging him on. When his climax came, coursing through his body he held Thor’s mouth down as he filled his own condom with come. Thor looked into his eyes the whole time and Steve didn’t dare look away or close them, transfixed by his lover’s beautiful face, his swollen lips around him. Thor finally came off when Steve collapsed on the bed and threw his condom in the trash as well before settling down next to him.

“Your face is beautiful when you come, _älskling_ ,” he whispered against his lips before he kissed him. It was slow and lazy and Steve laughed against him as he felt his beard against the smooth skin on his face. He rested a hand on his chest and settled down, feeling sated and happy. 

“Your entire body is beautiful when you come,” Steve replied. “Seriously, I would never have guessed that your entire body would jerk as much as it does when you come. It’s amazing. I love seeing you like that.”

Thor hummed into the kiss. “All for you, my love,” he whispered. “Only for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from the beach! I have internet! Hope y'all liked the chapter. Comments and kudos give me life! <3


	36. 2 of Wands (Future Planning)

Steve walked into the school building on Friday feeling tired as hell. He hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days. He couldn’t stop wondering just how long they were going to last, if he could ever live up to the shame of failing his promise to Thor’s father. He should never have entered that foolish agreement. Being with Thor for a whole year… hell they had barely been together for four months! How exactly was he going to make it to a full year especially when Thor would be leaving for the summer?

_Maybe I should just call it quits now_ , Steve said. _Cut my losses before I’m in it too deep._

He needed advice. The problem was that he wasn’t going to see his counselor this week at all. He wasn’t scheduled to see him again until next week, as usual. And he didn’t feel like talking about it to his mom. She seemed happier lately, he didn’t want to ruin the mood by getting her down with his relationship troubles. And he _really_ didn’t want to talk about it with Thor. God knew he could be clingy and he was trying to work on that. 

Somehow, he found himself outside of Ms. Foster’s classroom. The room was empty except for her. She was setting up a lab of some sort for her first period physics class. Regular physics, not the AP physics he had with her at the end of the day. He decided to just go for it. He knocked softly on the door. 

She turned around and smiled at him. “Steve, how are you? You’re a little early for class, I’m afraid,” she said. 

“I… wanted to ask you something,” he said.

“About physics or… something else?” she replied, growing serious.

“Something else. Personal,” he replied. She nodded.

“Help me set these up,” she replied. He set his backpack down at her desk and grabbed some materials to help her out. “So, what seems to be the problem?”

He told her about his concerns with Thor. How he was afraid about how long their relationship would last, about how his father was completely against the idea, how he wondered if it was just his anxiety talking or if he really should be concerned.

“You know,” she said with a slight smile. “If this was a story that deal you made with his father would probably come back to bite you in the butt.”

He chuckled. “That would be just my luck,” he said. “Me and my big mouth.”

“It will be fine, Steve,” she said, looking him in the eye.

“How do you know?” he asked.

“Honey, you may have forgotten, but I’m the faculty adviser for the GSA,” she said pointedly. “And I happened to assign you as lab partners. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Frankly, if you two weren’t the best in the class I would have split you up back in October.”

Steve blushed as he remembered the situation with that other student who had tried to get them to stop kissing after school let out. Then he thought about her words.

“We’re the best in the class?” he asked. She gave him a look and winked.

“You didn’t hear that from me,” she said. He chuckled at that. “Anyway, I see a lot of love struck young couples here. All part of the whole teacher gig. Most of them stop looking at each other the way you two do past the first month or so. A few make it to three months. You two have been together for four. Still early, admittedly, but still.”

“So what should I do about it?” he asked, helping her to set up the last of the stations. 

“Well, I’m not exactly an expert on love,” she replied. “I just teach physics. But if I were to guess, I would suggest talking to him.”

“Great,” he drawled. She laughed at that and toasted with her traveler’s mug.

“It doesn’t have to be today,” she said. “But talking about it might be helpful.”

“What if I’m jumping the ball on this, though?” he asked. “I mean, like you said we haven’t been together that long. What if it’s too soon to think about the future?”

“You’re in high school, Steve,” she said. “You’re graduating this year. There’s no better time to think about the future than right now.”

It didn’t help to quiet his anxiety, but it was somewhat comforting. It helped him figure out what to do, anyway. That was something. He smiled as the school bell rang and rushed to grab his bag so he could get to the other side of the building for his art class in time. 

“Thanks, Ms. Foster,” he said. “See you later.”

“Go get ‘em tiger,” she called after him. He walked towards the art portion of the building, grinning as freshmen and sophomores rushed past on their way to class. He ended up in front of his classroom… and Thor wasn’t there. He tried not to be disappointed. But in all honesty, he wasn’t ready for that conversation. He was trying to get through the day. They had that karaoke thing tonight. 

_Focus on that_ , he thought. He looked down at his phone before he went into class. There was a text from Thor asking if he was okay. 

_Yeah, Ms. Foster ran in to me earlier asked if I could help her out with something. Took longer than expected, sorry._

He put it away before going into class. Loki gave him a look that he couldn’t decipher. Concern? Teasing? He always looked vaguely like the cat that ate the canary: smug, proud, and absolutely self-assured. 

“Shall I tell your beau that he was worried over nothing?” he asked in greeting. “I’m afraid I’ll have lost my bet with Tony, though. Shame really. He was going to do something—”

“I’m fine,” he interjected before Loki could tell him what Tony had supposedly agreed to do. Those two were ridiculous.

“Thor was concerned,” he said in passing. “It was nauseatingly sentimental of him.”

“I’m sure it was,” he replied drily. 

“I won’t presume to poke at your relationship,” Loki said. “But you know he cares about you.”

“I know,” he replied. He did. But that didn’t put his anxiety at ease.

* * *

Thor was trying to remember how to solve the problem in front of him for this calculus test. He was having trouble focusing on it, though. He remembered how to do it more or less, just concentrating was difficult today. Something was troubling Steve beyond him potentially going off his meds. Thor wasn’t sure what, but he could tell there was something up. Whatever it was, it had been going on since Tuesday when Steve had come home with him and told him that he might be going off his meds soon. He tried not to let it worry him. He got like this when anxiety was getting to him, shutting down, putting walls up, reluctant to let anyone in to help him. Although, he did worry if he had done something wrong during the sex they had that day, that maybe he was getting… bored. 

_Stop that. Focus_ , he told himself. He finished the test with about 15 minutes to spare and took out a book to pass the time. He knew Steve would draw some simple black and white pencil drawings. He preferred to read, especially fantasy books. It took him longer to read books than he liked to admit, but between sports, school, studying, and Steve (his favorite pastime by far) he didn’t actually get that much time to read. 

Steve entered his mind again, as he usually did when they weren’t together. He was in his art class now. Thor was almost positive that Steve was too advanced for the class. He was too good, his drawings had too much detail to be getting much of anything from the high school art class. He wondered what he would be capable of if he was able to get into a good art school.

He saw Steve again when they had his history class in the afternoon. He still had that vaguely distracted look, like there were gears turning in his mind that took over everything else. He must be struggling today if it was still like this.

“Are you well, _älskling_?” he asked when he sat down next to him. 

“‘m fine,” he replied. A lie, then. That was something at least. After William and Elias, both of whom had used him, it was nice to have a partner who couldn’t lie at all. Maybe that was selfish of him, but still. 

“Do you need anything?” he asked softly. 

“I said I’m fine,” Steve said a little more sharply. Thor decided to let it be. There was no point in prodding him. Steve’s walls could be really effective if he didn’t want to talk about something. One of the few difficult things about being with Steve, to be honest. 

The rest of the day was tense. Thor didn’t bring it up again, however. There was no point in having a fight about something trivial before they were about to go out for the charity karaoke event. Tony and Loki weren’t going. Rehearsal had taken over their lives, like it did every year. Loki compared it to selling his soul. There was Wanda and Pietro, but he didn’t know them that well. And what exactly was the point in singing like a lunatic if the person he annoyed by doing it wasn’t going to be there? Having other people laugh and groan at his terrible voice wasn’t nearly as satisfying. 

By the time the end of the day rolled around, he was feeling as tense as Steve, probably. They were planning on going to Steve’s apartment, then take the subway to the bar where the karaoke night was taking place. Hopefully they were going to be able to put whatever it was going on between them aside for the evening at least. He focused on that, their evening together. 

They didn’t say anything to each other on the ride back to his apartment. Steve was stewing in whatever predicament he was dealing with Thor wondered if he had said the wrong thing the other day, if he should have been more definitive when Steve shared his concern with him. Or if he maybe said something else. It was maddening. 

They arrived and Steve flopped on the couch with a sigh. Thor sat down next to him. Steve sighed again. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what?” Thor asked, genuinely bemused.

“I’ve been… testy the past few days,” he said. 

“It’s all right, love,” Thor replied, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“It’s not, though,” Steve said, leaning against him. He looked like he was about to vomit, the look he got when he was working himself up to say something. He was hoping that this time, it wouldn’t be about something as distressing as it was last time. He hated to see him cry. 

“So what has been bothering you?” Thor asked. Steve swallowed. 

“I’ve been thinking about… what comes next,” he said. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well… what do you plan on doing after graduating?” he asked. Thor looked at him, surprised about this turn of events. 

“Well…” he said. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it much. I was thinking about going on a tour of Europe, but I do not know.”

Steve hummed. That didn’t seem to have helped. The wheels were still going. A thought occurred to him.

“Is this about me going back to Sweden in the summer?” Thor asked. Steve paused, then nodded. “Steve, that’s months away. There is no need to worry about it.”

Steve turned to look at him. There were tears in his eyes, though Steve seemed to be trying to hold it together by sheer force of will. He was afraid. Of what, Thor could not begin to imagine. It could just be his anxiety acting up. It could be another concern. It could be both. Then as soon as he looked at him, he looked away. 

“Right,” he said. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Steve, if you want to talk about it,” Thor pressed. 

“It’s fine,” he said, getting up. And just like that, his walls were back up. “Come on, let’s get ready for the karaoke night.” 

_I am an idiot_ , Thor thought.

* * *

Steve had his evening dose of his antianxiety med right before they were scheduled to leave for the bar and tried not to worry about what would happen if Dr. Erskine was right and his psychiatrist decided to take him off them. His appointment was for Monday morning. He supposed he’d find out then. Coincidentally, his appointment with Dr. Erskine was scheduled for a couple days after that, so whatever happened, he would probably end up talking to him about it. 

Thor smiled as Steve pulled on the letterman jacket. He wore it almost every day, though he was going to have to find a way to give it back to him for a few days. It didn’t quite smell like him anymore and it was disappointing. There was something to be said about the whole smell triggering emotions and memories. If there was anything that he do with more of, it was some positive memories and feelings getting triggered rather than his anxiety. 

Thor was dressed in a nice, red and black checkered plaid shirt rolled up to the elbow, a black shirt and clean, dark blue jeans. His hair was tied back in a neat ponytail and his beard was neatly groomed. Between that, his clothes, and his build, he looked vaguely like a lumberjack. 

“Wow,” he said eloquently. Thor grinned and turned around slowly. Steve’s eyes fell directly to his ass, framed beautifully by the form-fitting denim, strong and tight and round and Steve’s mouth started salivating as he laid eyes on it. “Jesus.”

He caught himself as soon as he saw Thor’s smug, cocky grin. “Don’t even, _babe_.”

Thor chuckled. “You look sexy yourself, älskling,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to his lips. Steve blushed. His own clothing wasn’t anything special, just a navy blue button up and khakis. And Thor’s jacket, of course. 

“You ready?” Thor asked, holding out his arm. Steve looked at it and chuckled before taking it.

“You’re such a sap,” he teased. Thor laughed. 

“I think it’s sweet,” his mother said, taking a picture. 

“Mom!” he protested.

“Oh hush, I’m getting sentimental in my old age,” she said. “Sue me.”

“You look great tonight, Ms. Rogers,” Thor said. “Do you have plans while we are gone?”

“I have a date tonight,” she said. 

“You. What?” Steve asked. “Do I know him? Is it a him?”

“Now, son,” she chastised. “I’m aware that you’re not interested in women, but let me be the one to tell you that a lady has a right to her secrets.”

“Well…” Steve demurred. “If he tries any funny business, let me know. I’ll beat him up for ya.”

Both his mom and his boyfriend laughed at that. He chuckled a bit himself. The idea of him beating anyone up was honestly laughable, unless this guy was as small as he was. His mom came up to him and took his face in his hands. 

“You’re sweet, son,” she said, stroking a stray strand of hair out of his face. “You two have fun tonight, you hear me?” 

“Yes mom,” he groaned, smiling. “You too.”

“I will,” she said. “Now go on, you’ll be late.”

Thor dragged Steve out the door before he could protest or try to get a little bit more information out of her. Once they were out the door of the apartment, he simply walked with Thor to the subway station.

* * *

Whatever Steve had been expecting, this wasn’t it. The place was absolutely packed. He couldn’t even remember what this event was raising money for, he just remembered that it was an event that his school’s GSA had promoted. The idea that this might actually be a community event never crossed his mind. He squeezed Thor’s hand, taking comfort in his presence. Bars were hard, even when they didn’t serve alcohol. Thor covered his hand with both of his as they stood in front of the door. 

“Thanks,” he said.

“We can leave if you want,” Thor said. “No one said we had to stay the whole time.”

“Right, right,” he said. He took a deep, fortifying breath. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Thor led him into the loud bar. People were already singing on stage. The ones who were actually brave enough to, anyway. Without alcohol, the more reserved, like Steve would have to suppress their inhibitions themselves. Not that he was planning on getting up and singing, not at all. 

They met Pietro and Wanda sitting at a booth, waving them over. Steve hurried over, eager to seclude himself among people he knew rather than mill about with perfect strangers. He was suddenly really self-conscious. Who wore button downs and khakis to a club, anyway? Someone who had absolutely no business being in one, that’s who. 

“Relax,” Thor said. “We’re here to have fun.”

“Yeah, Steve. You look fine,” Wanda said, taking a hand in hers. It was somewhat reassuring. 

“Do both of you read minds?” Steve asked. “Because it was hard enough with just Thor and his entire family. Or am I just that easy to read?”

“It could be both,” Pietro said, with a grin. 

“Is that Ms. Foster?” Thor asked, pointing to the stage. 

Those assemble turned to look as, to their shock, Ms. Foster in civilian attire began singing at the top of her lungs to What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes. She’s… an amazing singer with a rich alto voice. The entire bar began to sing along, from the bartenders to the students who were probably all equally shocked that she actually showed up. Volunteers went around asking for donations from the patrons. Thor handed in a folded check. Steve didn’t ask how much he put on there. It was certainly more than he would ever think to give for a charity. Mostly because he was broke. 

Cheers erupt from the audience as the song comes to a close and Ms. Foster bows and exits the stage. A few more people show up, doing a decent job, though there was one guy who had a good tenor voice who sang a song Steve didn’t recognize. It was nice enough. Ms. Foster was making the rounds, greeting all the students who came out to partake in the event. 

“Your voice is amazing!” Wanda gushed when she showed up at their table. “I had no idea that you could sing like that!”

“Thanks, Wanda,” she said. “Any of you gonna go up and strut your stuff?”

“I think I’m the only one who isn’t,” Steve said.

“Aw come on, Steve!” Pietro said, leaning across the table to punch him lightly on the shoulder. “Live a little! It’s for a good cause.”

“Hey, Thor already donated money on my behalf,” Steve countered, drinking his coke. “Getting up to sing wasn’t in the plan for the evening.”

“I am singing on your behalf, then too,” Thor said, looking up towards the stage. 

Just then the karaoke stage was empty and Thor got up to go get on stage. Steve said a Hail Mary (or some of it, anyway, he only knew the first line) as he watched Thor talk to the DJ and step up to the mic. Whistles and cheers sounded as soon as he was under the spotlight and a strange combination of jealousy and smugness stirred within Steve. Jealousy over people ogling his boyfriend and smugness that he was his boyfriend. 

_Not for long if he goes back to Sweden_ , a stray thought told him. That stopped him cold and he started doing a brief meditation exercise, focusing on the here and now rather than stray, unwelcome thoughts. 

“This one’s for you, love,” he said, not indicating where Steve was in the crowd. The twins and Ms. Foster all turned to smile at him and he blushed, pulling his jacket around him. Ms. Foster sat down in the seat Thor abandoned and looked up at the stage eagerly. 

“I bet he has a great baritone,” she said. “His voice is certainly deep enough.”

“You’re not wrong on that one,” Steve said. Meanwhile, Wanda had taken out her phone to record him. 

The song began. It was an 80s rock song that immediately elicited cheers from the crowd. Even Steve knew this one. He groaned as he thought that his boyfriend might ruin Africa by Toto for everyone. 

Bizarrely enough, the crowd got really into it. People were singing along, even the people at his table and Steve found himself singing as well. It was one of the few songs from the 80s he actually knew. He even laughed when Thor belted out, I bless the rains down in Africa every time the chorus came. 

Eventually the song ends and the crowd cheers, even Steve for once, even though Thor’s voice remained absolutely terrible. He was beaming the way he always did when he sang. Ms. Foster and the twins stood when Thor approached. They all hugged him, laughing at his antics. Steve smiled and hugged him as well. 

“Have you come around on my golden pipes yet, Steve?” Thor asked. 

“Ehhh, the jury’s still out?” Steve replied. 

“Maybe I need to go up again tonight,” Thor laughed. “I will convince you of the beauty of my voice yet.”

“What have I ever done to you, Thor?” Steve joked.

“You stole my heart, of course,” Thor replied, kissing him lightly on his forehead. 

“All right, that’s enough sweetness for tonight,” Ms. Foster said, walking towards another group of students. “I’m going to have to call my dentist in the morning.”

The rest of the evening was spent laughing and singing, though Steve never got up to sing himself. Wanda and Pietro did a cover of Don’t Stop Believin’. They were among the few people who were actually good tonight, most everyone else was either terrible, nothing special, or decent, which Thor assured him was how most karaoke nights were. He did eventually get up to sing Eye of the Tiger, which he didn’t have the voice for at all. Just like last time, Wanda took out her phone to record his performance. He seemed to have a thing for 80s rock songs. Actually, that seemed to be a theme for the crowd in general. 

Around midnight, though, Steve was starting to fall asleep on Thor’s shoulder. He awoke when his boyfriend shook his shoulder gently and yawned loudly.

“Ready to go home?” Thor asked. Steve yawned again and nodded.

“Five more minutes,” he said, laying his head back on Thor’s shoulder. Thor kissed the top of his head.

“Come, my love,” he whispered, shaking him a little harder. “Let me take care of you.”

Steve hummed and opened his eyes. The twins were smiling amusedly at him and he blushed. Thor helped him up and guided him towards the door. It was a cold night. The bustling sounds of the city, people chatting, cars driving, honking, street performers plying their trade, fell around him like a river over stones, smoothing away his worries and his weariness. Thor came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him. He breathed in his scent, wood smoke and pine, and leaned back into his chest. 

“Come, my _älskling_ ,” he whispered. “Let’s go home.” 

“Whose home?” he asked.

“Whichever one you want, love,” Thor replied. 

Steve opened his eyes and tilted his head up to smile at his boyfriend. Thor kissed his forehead as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“I love you,” Steve whispered.

Thor smiled and kissed him again. “And I, you, Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense! <3


	37. Anatomy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW.

It was nearly the end of January, and that meant one thing was on literally everyone’s minds: Valentine’s Day. Steve finally understood what all the hype was about it, since he had his own boyfriend for the first time. He was waiting in the lobby for his appointment with his psychiatrist with his mother and all he could think about was what Thor had planned. Thor assured him that he was planning _something_. They hadn’t had any kind of big date since Thor got back from Sweden. Just small things like dinner, movie, and whatnot. 

“Steve Rogers,” called a nurse. He and his mother got up and went back to the office. Dr. Banner joined them shortly and the regular interrogation began. How was his anxiety? How were his panic attacks? How was he feeling now? Were there any side effects? Were there any major changes in his life? Steve answered the questions dutifully, trying not to worry too much about what Dr. Erskine had told him.

“Well,” Dr. Banner said looking over his notes. “Since you’re no longer having frequent panic attacks, I’d like to start looking at possibly taking you off your meds.”

Steve nodded but said nothing. 

“What do want to do, Steve?” he asked. 

“Well, that was the goal all along, right?” he replied. “To see if I could get back to a normal level of functioning, whatever that is.”

Dr. Banner nodded. “Your anxiety seems more or less under control at this point,” he replied. “We would have gotten you off sooner but your recovery has taken longer than expected.”

“Can I—can I go back on if this doesn’t work?” he asked. 

“Well it depends,” Dr. Banner replied cautiously. “Depends on how long it takes, on how severe your symptoms became, and so forth.” 

“But it’s a possibility?” he asked. 

“Yes, it is certainly possible,” Dr. Banner answered. Steve gulped and took a breath.

“Well, might as well give it a shot, right?” he said. Dr. Banner smiled and shook his hand.

“How much longer do you have on your current prescription?” he asked. Steve looked at his mom.

“He has two more days’ worth before he runs out,” she said. 

“Well then, you have two more days of your medication and then you’ll be done. Hopefully for good,” he said.

“Are there any risks for withdrawal symptoms?” she asked. 

“Well, thankfully his medication doesn’t create dependence, so there’s no real risk of withdrawal,” Dr. Banner said.

“Well that’s something,” Steve said. “I wasn’t looking forward to that.”

“I don’t blame you,” Dr. Banner replied. “If your symptoms start to come back and get worse, make an appointment.”

* * *

Saturday morning found Thor lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling in a quandary. Occasionally his gaze drifted to the drawing his lover had given him for Yule. It really was incredible what he could do. The fact that Steve had had a dream of this scene was honestly flattering, though he had refused to elaborate on what else had happened in it. 

He sighed as he thought about his boyfriend. Steve had been off his meds since Wednesday and so far, he seemed to be doing fine. At least as far as Thor could tell. Loki said he was acting like a mother hen around him lately. He was mostly focusing on his plans for Valentine’s Day. He had not actually had a Valentine’s Day with his partner… ever. Both his previous boyfriends were Swedish and they had been in Sweden while he was here in America. He wasn’t actually sure what to do for Valentine’s, but he had promised that he would make up for his not being there for Christmas, so he had to figure out something. 

He immediately discarded the idea of having another rooftop dance. Mostly because it was winter, but also because he could not fall back on rooftop dancing every time there was an important date coming up. Valentine’s Day was on a Sunday this year, so theoretically, they could spend the day having sex, but he was trying to be a bit more original than that. It was fine in theory, but this was both of their first Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend they could go out with. It seemed pointless to not go out.

But of course, that was all contingent on Steve feeling like going out that day. There was still two more weeks until the day itself. His anxiety could start acting up again and with no meds to help him, he would have to deal with it himself. Once again, Thor felt powerless. He wanted to help, wanted to fix his problems, but he was utterly incapable of doing so. By now he was convinced that the gods had sent him Steve to teach him a lesson or something. Or maybe they were laughing at him. That was always possible. 

He vaulted off the bed and walked out of the room to go downstairs. He always thought better while he was moving. Sitting still wasn’t his thing. He passed Mr. Baker on his way through the kitchen. He seemed particularly… cheerful lately. It was suspicious, considering that he normally seemed so neutral. His parents said that was what made him a good butler, that he rarely commented or imposed himself on anyone. That hadn’t changed, but there was definitely something akin to a spring in his step lately. 

Thor began pacing around the ground level of his house, making a big circle through the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, past his mother’s studio, past his father’s study, through the foyer, and back to the living room. He made that lap a few times before his father stepped out of his study.

“Thor, you’ve been pacing for some time,” he said. “What’s going on?”

Thor set his jaw as he regarded his father. The man was acting smug about something. He had been acting this way ever since Yule, but he had not brought up his relationship with Steve since then, aside from him not approving of the relationship. Thor wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or suspicious. He honestly didn’t remember much from that night, aside from the mistletoe, the gift exchange, and decorating the tree. After that, it was mostly a blur until he was woken up by Steve when the sun rose. But something could have happened between Steve and his father that night.

“Nothing you want to hear about, I am sure, father,” he replied, moving to go around him. His father stepped in front of his path. He tried not to glare at the man. 

“Son, I know you think I don’t approve of the boy—”

“You don’t approve of him.”

“—but believe me when I say that any reservations I have about your best interests at heart,” he said. Thor scoffed. 

“My best interests?” he asked. “You always have my best interests at heart. You always have everyone’s best interests at heart. You always know what’s best.”

“Son, a man must not let his emotions get the better of him,” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Thor shrugged it off. “Never seek out a fight, but always be ready for someone to start one.”

Thor stared at him, truly bemused at this particular piece of advice. 

“You think that Steve and I are fighting?” he asked.

“Are you not?”

“No! We are doing quite well, actually,” Thor countered.

“Then why are you pacing around the house like a tomcat?” his father demanded. 

“I am thinking about something,” he replied.

“What is it?” 

“It is none of your business, that’s what,” Thor replied, shoving past him. His father seized his wrist before he could get very far. 

“Don’t you speak that way to me,” he growled quietly. “I am your father. You will show me your respect whether you like it or not. I’m just trying to do what’s best for you.”

Thor turned around to glare at him. “Yes, the mighty Odin, ambassador to America,” he jeered. “He always knows what’s best for everyone. Were you not the one who introduced me to my previous boyfriend, the one who cared for nothing but our wealth and status?”

Odin tried to back hand him, but Thor grabbed his wrist before he could. His father stood there glaring at him, trembling with rage. His grip on Thor’s wrist lessened and he jerked the wrist Thor held free. 

“You try so much to be like the All-father,” Thor said. “Maybe you’re too much like him. You’re not a king. We’re not your subjects. You don’t have the right to treat us that way.”

He turned around and stalked off, as always, to change into some exercise clothes. He needed to blow off some steam before he could return to the conundrum that he had been wrestling with. When he was changed and he had done his stretches, he set up the weights. 

As far as workouts were concerned, it was lousy. He tired more quickly than he hoped he would, he wasn’t able to go as hard as he wanted to, and he found it difficult to distract himself from his anger. The only solace he found was in the burn in his muscles when he was close to being finished. That was good for something, at least, even if it had come sooner than he wanted it. As he took his headphones out, someone opened the door and walked in.

“What?” he said irritably. “Can you not see that I’m—”

He turned around and saw Steve standing there in the doorway looking towards him and he shut his mouth. Steve’s eyes trailed down his body, his face blushing. Thor realized that even if he wasn’t soaked in sweat like he was normally at the end of a decent workout, his shirt probably clung to his body. He unstrapped the fingerless gloves and tossed them aside. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know you had gotten here yet.”

“Mr. Baker said you were down here,” he replied, his eyes still transfixed on his chest. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Thor preened at his boyfriend’s obvious ogling. It made him feel marginally better. “I was wondering…”

Steve trailed off. “Yes?” Thor asked. 

“Could you… show me some things?” he asked. Thor grinned. “Not those kinds of things! Workout stuff.”

“You want to learn how to work out?” Thor asked, a bit surprised. Steve nodded and took out a bundle of workout clothes out of his backpack. Thor smiled. “I have never trained someone else, but there is a first time for everything, yes?”

Thor walked him through some basic stretches once his boyfriend had changed. He was thin, physically much weaker than Thor. He thought back to his first session with his trainer, trying to remember what he did. He ran with Steve on a treadmill for a warm up and he was impressed when he managed to go longer than he expected. Next he started gaining an idea of how strong he was. He was… well, he was weak. He was barely able to handle additional weight on the bench press bar, though he did manage to do a couple reps with it at 65 pounds before Thor had to take the weight from him. Steve sat up to catch his breath.

“How do you do this?” he demanded. “Like, for fun?”

Thor chuckled. “It gets easier with time, I promise,” he replied, as he knelt down beside him. “And I have been doing this for years and my build lends itself more to athleticism, so it makes sense for it to be easier.”

“Right, that must be why my arms feel like noodles,” Steve deadpanned. Thor chuckled and hit his thigh. 

“Ready for another bout?” he asked.

“What, you getting sleepy or something?” Steve joked. Thor chuckled and led him over to a leg press. His boyfriend groaned. “You know, there are nicer ways to kill me.”

Steve was drenched in sweat by the time they were done. Thor was a bit sweatier himself, as he had continued his workout while he was teaching Steve when the opportunity presented itself. Steve was bracing himself on his thighs, breathing in deep gulps of breath when he was done. 

“No more, please,” he begged.

Thor thumped him gently on the back. “I am impressed that you went for so long,” he admitted. “You are stronger than you look. Do you feel the workout high?”

“Yeah, well, I feel like I’m about to fall apart,” he said. “But I guess I feel kinda good.”

“I am pleased,” Thor replied. “Now, we hit the showers.”

“We have to walk up the stairs, don’t we?” he groaned.

“No, love,” Thor chuckled and opened one of the doors to the room, revealing a short hallway that had a couple rooms with the laundry room at the end. “The shower is just down the hall. That is… if you wish to join me? So we can… save water, so to speak.”

Steve chuckled weakly. “Sounds good to me,” he said, following him.

They got to the bathroom and peeled out of their dirty clothes and stepped into the showers. Steve sighed as the hot water hit his skin. His skin was flushed and pink from exertion and beautiful. Thor wrapped his arms around him from behind, running his hands over the expanse of his body. He kissed his shoulder, the one with the scars from that horrible excuse for a father. Steve sighed again and tilted his head back, exposing the sensitive skin on his neck. Thor hummed and moved up, kissing and nipping and sucking his way to his earlobe. He looked down the front of Steve’s body to see that his cock was already rock hard. 

“It would seem you do have energy for another bout,” he whispered lowly into his lover’s ear. He felt his own cock start to harden at the sight. Steve whined and leaned back against him. 

“I don’t know if I can stand for this,” he said. Indeed, Thor could feel his lover’s legs trembling as he held him. Thor drew him back to the bench jutting out of the wall and let him sit down. He knelt before his lover, his cock hard and thick and glistening. It wasn’t as long or as thick as his, but it was certainly thick and he loved it. He kissed the hollow of his neck, trailing kisses down his chest, pausing to pinch and tease at his nipples. Steve, despite his weariness from the workout, came alive beneath his hands. His hands went to his hair and Thor purred as his fingers massaged his scalp and tugged at him.

“Thor,” Steve moaned. 

“Yes, my love?” he whispered. 

“Don’t we,” he gasped as Thor sucked at his nipple. “Don’t we need condoms?”

Thor grinned. “I am clean,” he said. “As are you. One lapse in safety won’t kill us, I think. But we can stop if you want.”

Steve paused, considering. Then he shook his head. “Please don’t,” he begged.

Thor grinned and returned to sucking at his nipple, biting around it and eliciting a loud moan as his lover arched against him. He was stunning like this, desperate and aroused. He kissed his way down until he got to his cock, standing erect among a patch of blond hair. He licked the head, savoring the salty flavor of his pre-cum and Steve bucked into his mouth. Thor opened his mouth and instead of taking him into his mouth, he kept licking along the length of his shaft. 

“I hate you,” Steve whined above him. Thor grinned and looked up into his eyes, licking the underside of the head of his cock. 

“That is a shame,” he whispered, kissing it. “Because I love your dick. And I want to savor the taste of you when I suck you off.”

He let his tongue swirl around the head. Steve’s hands fisted his hair in response and Thor moaned against his member. Then he slowly took Steve into his mouth, his lips stretching to accommodate him. He took him down to the root in one long, smooth motion, swallowing as the head reached the back of his throat. He looked up into Steve’s eyes. They were almost black with arousal. He grinned around his mouthful of cock and moaned deep in his throat.

“Fuck!” Steve nearly shouted. Thor grinned some more and began to bob on his lover’s cock. Steve bit his lips, trying desperately to keep from doing it again. Thor came off, stroking him gently.

“Let me hear you, _älskling_ ,” he said lowly. “Do not deny me the pleasure of hearing your voice.”

“Thor,” Steve moaned. Thor returned his attention to his lover’s aching cock. He couldn’t get enough of it. The litany of curses falling from Steve’s lips was music to his ears.

“Thor,” Steve said more insistently. Thor rose to the head of his cock but stayed there, his tongue swirling around the head, teasing the slit. “I want something.”

“Name it,” he said. Steve took one of his legs and propped it on Thor’s shoulder. Thor looked up at him quizzically until Steve took his hand on that leg and guided it to his opening. Thor’s breathing hitched. He looked back up and saw something he never expected to see on his face: a sexy, devilish smirk. If it were possible for his cock to get any harder, it would probably burst. 

“I’m clean,” he said. “I want to feel your fingers inside me.”

Thor was awestruck. His hand actually trembled like it hadn’t done since the first time he did this as he pressed a finger to Steve’s opening. Steve’s breathing hitched and he hissed as Thor’s finger slowly, steadily, breached him. He was hot and tight and gods, Thor wanted nothing more than to flip his lover over and fuck him against the wall. Thor began to bob on Steve’s cock again. Steve’s hands fisted in his hair again, pulling slightly as he swallowed his cock. 

The curses tumbling from Steve’s lips were growing louder. Thor took that as encouragement and pressed a second finger against his entrance. Steve hissed as it entered him, stretching his tight, wet heat. 

“Oh Christ fuck,” Steve moaned. Thor couldn’t help himself. He looked up at him around his cock and winked. Steve scowled down at him until Thor angled his fingers to one side and Steve shouted as he bucked into his mouth. _There it is_ , he thought. 

“What was that?” Steve gasped. “I’ve never felt that before. Do it again, I’ll do anything.”

Thor came off him. “Anything?” he asked smugly. He angled his fingers to that spot inside him and Steve arched off the surface of the tiled bench as he moaned loudly. “Be careful what you wish for.”

“Shut up. Please,” Steve begged, nodding. “Please don’t stop.”

Thor kissed his way up to Steve’s ear again. This time he didn’t stop to tease him, just pumped his fingers in and out of Steve’s impossibly tight ass. He nipped at his ear. 

“I want you to come for me,” he whispered. He returned his mouth to Steve’s cock and sucked him hard. His pace quickened, his fingers brushing up against Steve’s prostate with every thrust. 

“Fuck, oh fuck, Thor I’m close,” Steve chanted. Thor hummed around his cock and Steve shouted his release, filling his mouth with the salty, slightly bitter taste of his come. Thor had never tasted any come but his own. He found that he didn’t mind the flavor. Maybe Steve was special. He knew Steve was special. His lover collapsed with a smile against the tiles, completely blissed out. He giggled as Thor licked the head of his cock again before he let it fall out of his mouth.

“That was… damn, amazing,” Steve said with a slow, languid stretch. “Thank you.”

Thor grinned and stood, his own, neglected erection standing before his lover’s face. He gripped it tightly at the base and stroked it slowly, savoring the magnificent feeling of the water slicking him up. Steve straightened and placed his hand over Thor’s as he took over. His pretty, red, flushed lips parted to stretch around his cock and Thor beheld the image that he jerked off to at night.

Steve bobbed on the head of his cock as his hand stroked him. Thor let his head fall back and he closed his eyes. The water falling against his back and his lover’s lips around his cock. _This must be what heaven feels like_ , he thought as he groaned softly. Steve responded by moaning around his head and he knew that this was indeed what it felt like. He wasn’t going to last long. 

“Steve,” he whispered. “Please, I’m going to cum. Oh gods you’re so perfect I love you.”

He looked down at his lover, who came off his cock and pumped his shaft furiously. Thor groaned through his orgasm and marveled at his lover as his come shot over him, painting his face in his seed. Thor groaned. It was… hot. Steve licked the head of his cock, milking the last drops of his come from him. When he was done he his tongue roamed over his lips, licking the come there up. Thor suddenly felt unsteady and braced himself on the wall above him as he stared down in wonder at his lover.

“You… you are amazing, my love,” he whispered. He idly traced a thumb through the come on his face. Steve slumped back against the wall, staring up at him, completely blissed out. 

“You’re one to talk, babe,” he said. “I finally understand what the big deal is about working out.”

Thor laughed. “Strange, I do not usually get laid after my workouts,” he demurred. Steve grinned and stood, pushing past Thor and angling his face up into the hot, steady stream of the shower. Thor watched, only slightly disappointed as his seed was washed off his body. Thor uncorked a bottle of his body wash and started to wash his lover’s body. Steve hummed beneath his hands. 

“I could get used to this,” he whispered. Thor smiled and hummed to himself. Then later, when Steve raised his hands to lather up Thor’s hair, he purred when his fingers massaged his scalp.

“You know what?” he said. “I could get used to this, too.”

* * *

The shower lasted much longer than was strictly necessary and by the end, they had saved no water at all. The room resembled a sauna more than a bathroom by the time they managed to get out. Thankfully, there were clean towels so at least they didn’t have to race up to the stairs to change and hope they didn’t get caught. There was, however, a problem. Steve groaned.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asked.

“My clothes are missing,” Steve said. 

“Where did you put them?”

“Right here,” Steve replied, gesturing to the corner of the workout room where he had set his backpack down. “I put on my workout clothes and put my regular clothes in the backpack.”

“Ah, well then I’m afraid that you are probably being pranked by my brother,” Thor replied. 

“Great,” Steve muttered. “Well, I might as well go steal some more of his clothes. I can’t go around your house naked all day.”

“Hmm… I do not know. I would not mind that,” Thor replied. 

“Mm-hmm,” Steve said as he started marching up the stairs. It was significantly slower than he would have liked, since his legs still felt like jelly. He could hear the television playing loudly, which was strange. In all the time he had known Thor, his family had never listened to loud music or played the tv this loudly unless they were hosting a party. He opened the door which led to the living room and stopped dead in his tracks. Sitting there on the couch sipping a cup of tea with a look of strained annoyance on her face was Frigga. Next to her was Odin, looking particularly red in the face. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, Steve couldn’t tell, but he had a sinking feeling as to why his face looked like that.

“I trust you two enjoyed yourselves,” she said. Her face was blushing, but her voice was even and cool as ice. Steve’s entire body was already flushed from the workout and the hot shower but he could feel his face starting to blush even more. “Though I might have to start stashing some condoms in the bathrooms if you two intend to keep doing this. We can’t have you two ignoring basic safety just because you’re sweaty and gross.”

 _This is how I die_ , Steve thought, hurrying over to the hallway to escape Thor’s parents’ scrutiny. _Melting into the floor with a towel wrapped around me._

“Have you seen Steve’s backpack?” Thor asked. “Or Loki?”

“We have not seen either,” Odin replied gruffly. “Perhaps he should keep better track of his belongings.”

“It is not his fault,” Thor protested. “We were in the shower.”

“We noticed,” Odin said drily.

"Now Thor, while we do appreciate these... urges you're experiencing in this time of your life," Frigga said, her voice thin and strained. "We would ask that you be a bit more considerate of the other people living in his house. It is fine to enjoy being... intimate with Steve, but please keep it down in the future. The house does not need to know what the two of you are up to."

"My apologies, mother. It will not happen again," came the reply. Thor sighed and came around to where Steve was standing. Steve noticed that he also had a faint blush on his cheeks. At least the man had the grace to be embarrassed at the way his mother had dressed him down. The two of them said nothing as Thor led him up the stairs. They ran into Mr. Baker halfway up, who made no comment either way, but Steve was almost convinced that he knew what happened as well. He did, however indicate that Loki was in the living room upstairs. 

Sure enough, he was, with Tony as well. They were watching the video that Wanda posted of Thor singing Africa at the karaoke event, laughing hysterically. Steve rolled his eyes. It wasn’t that funny. Tony smirked and began to clap slowly as they approached. 

“Well done, fellas,” he said. “I gotta say, I never expected to hear little Stevie boy here to have that kind of mouth on him.”

“Shut up, Stark,” Steve replied. “Where’re my clothes?”

Loki smiled that Cheshire cat smile and held up his shirt. Just his shirt, which wouldn’t do him much good at the moment.

“The rest is somewhere up here,” he said. “I’m not telling you where.”

“Enough of your games, brother,” Thor sighed. “Just tell us where his clothes are so we can start studying for that Calc test on Wednesday.”

“Well if you wanted to study Calc, perhaps you should have been quieter while studying anatomy,” Loki deadpanned. Tony snorted gracefully into his drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good job, boys. Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! <3
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense. :)


	38. The Waiting Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So someone asked what I saw Wanda and Pietro's orientations being and I don't think I really answered them. It doesn't really come up in the story itself, but Wanda I see as being demisexual/panromantic and Pietro I see as pansexual.

It was a week until Valentine’s Day and Thor still hadn’t given any inkling as to what he had planned for the day. Steve, meanwhile was adjusting to life without his meds, still. It was strange, sometimes. He would go through his day without ever taking his medication and even though he wasn’t going through any withdrawal symptoms, part of him did want the option of having the medication there, just in case. It was all he could do to try and not worry about when/if his next panic attack would arise. So far nothing had happened, but there was still that voice in the back of his mind that was constantly reminding him of what could go wrong. It was hard to ignore sometimes. 

Perhaps not surprisingly, his mother also had plans for Valentine’s Day, though it was something simple and sweet: a romantic, home cooked dinner at his place. Whoever he was. Maybe he was a coworker or something. He couldn’t imagine his mom meeting a guy any other way. She tended not to go out much, on account of her working at the hospital so much. Who else would she meet?

He was working on applications to college. He still wasn’t sure what he was going to do there. On the off chance that he could become a comic book artist or somehow make art and sell it online with a Patreon account or Tumblr or something, majoring in art might be useful. There was some part of him that thought that it wasn’t practical, though. Maybe he should do… something else. Like nursing or psychology. Or he could do the major everyone did when they had no idea what they wanted to do with life: business. 

He couldn’t imagine himself as a businessman. He was too awkward. That, and he had absolutely no idea what he would go into with a business degree. Probably some kind of corporate job. Which sounded like hell, actually, so he moved that option to the very bottom of the list. 

This would be so much easier if he knew what Thor was planning on doing. Aside from going to Sweden for the summer like he always did. Was he coming back? Was he going to college? Would he stay there and work on his athletic career? 

He sighed and leaned back on the arm of the couch. He looked across the room at the ball he caught with him at the Mets game all those months ago. Looking back, he considered it something of an unofficial first date. A really great first date. Which didn’t make his preparations for Valentine’s Day any less daunting. What did he get the man who had everything? Flowers? Chocolate? More art? He couldn’t shake the feeling that his gifts ideas were getting stale, but then, he wasn’t good at getting gifts for people. He just wasn’t. Besides, Thor never really seemed to care much about gifts or possessions and he probably didn’t care much for stuff like flowers

“What’s got you all mopey?” his mother asked as she sat down on the other couch. “Not looking forward to Valentine’s Day?”

“I am actually,” Steve said. “But… I have a problem.”

“What is it, dear?” she asked.

“Well, Thor says he has this big thing planned for Valentine’s Day next week, to make up for being away on Christmas,” he explained. “So I can’t help but feel like I should do something or get him something in return. But I can’t think of anything. What do guys like for Valentine’s Day anyway?”

“Sex, usually,” she replied. Steve actually chuckled a bit at that. “But in all honesty, what kind of stuff do you think he likes?”

“Like for gifts or in general?” Steve asked.

“Either,” she replied.

“Well…” Steve mused. “He likes meat.”

“That would be useful if you were cooking him dinner,” she said.

“There’s sports. And dancing. He likes horror movies, action, superheroes. He likes my art,” he continued. “But I feel like I should do something else since I got him art for Christmas.”

“Why?” she asked. 

“Just because he’s probably gonna get tired of it eventually,” he said. “I want to do something different.”

“Steve, you’ve only showed him a few of your pictures, and how many have you actually given him, anyway?” she asked.

He thought for a moment. He had shown the picture of Thor sitting on the stool in his yard to Frigga, but he still had that one. He gave the picture of Thor as he appeared in his dream to him for Yule… he must have given him more. Or maybe he just thought he did because Thor had seen so much of his work. 

“I’ve only given him one,” he said. “But…”

“But you want to feel like you can do more,” she finished. 

“Right, yeah that,” he said. Then a thought occurred to him. “He likes fantasy. Like you know, magic and dragons and stuff like that.”

“Honey, I’m not sure how that helps you,” she said. “Unless you’re going to get him a book, which could be a great gift for Valentine’s or a terrible one.”

“He does like reading,” Steve continued. “He reads during school if we have extra time at the end of class. And sometimes when we’re hanging out he reads while I sketch.”

“So you want to buy him a book?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he replied sheepishly. She sighed and got up.

“Well, let’s go find a bookstore,” she said. “I’m still not sure getting a book is a Valentine’s present, but he’s your boyfriend and you know him better than I do.”

* * *

The fantasy section of the bookstore was, frankly, overwhelming. There were all sorts of books with all sorts of premises and Steve had no idea which ones were any good. The worst thing would be to get Thor a book that was no good at all. But Steve wasn’t exactly an avid reader, except for the required reading in school that was very rarely any good. Classics, certainly, but not very interesting. 

Thankfully, a passing employee was able to help him out by pointing him towards a website that had reviews for books. A few seemed promising, but he rejected all of them. A few others his mother rejected for one reason or another. She seemed preoccupied with her phone, but he assumed that she was also looking up reviews. He was glad for the second opinion. He didn’t want to get him something like Harry Potter, because even he had read that. It also felt a bit lame as far as presents were concerned. 

Hell, maybe mom was right, he thought. Maybe books are a lame gift for Valentine’s Day. Birthdays? Yeah. Christmas, or Yule, I suppose, sure. But who gets books for Valentine’s?

“Hey look at this one,” his mother said, pulling out a book. It was titled Age of Myth. It was a large hardcover book and the sleeve showed a few tiny people and a white wolf under what looked like an enormous oak tree. Steve opened the book to the inside summary and raised his eyebrows, impressed. 

“Looks interesting enough,” he said. “Alright, let’s get it.”

“Unless you also want to buy some fancy Valentine’s chocolates,” she teased. 

“Can we do that?” he asked. 

“If I do, I’m keeping them,” she said. “You’ve never been able to be trusted with chocolate.”

Steve gasped in faux offense. His mother just laughed at him and made her way up to the front of the store to purchase what they came here for. There was still that little voice needling in the back of his head that said that this was all a terrible idea and that there was absolutely no way Thor would consider a book a decent Valentine’s gift. But seeing as Steve couldn’t think of anything that was actually romantic to give him. He didn’t seem like the sort to like flowers. 

“Actually, there is one thing,” he added. “But… you would have to get it.”

His mother turned around and raised a questioning eyebrow. He swallowed, wondering if this was another terrible idea. He couldn’t say that he was thrilled himself, but he had a feeling that he knew something that he would probably love. He was willing to try. 

Not long after, they stood on the corner of a block looking towards a local brewery and Steve was absolutely certain that he was going to be in for it when they got home. But like he said, he couldn’t go in and buy anything. Well, not anything that he knew Thor would appreciate, anyway. But there was a reason why they tended not to buy anything other than cooking alcohol. 

“Kid, if I do this, you owe me big,” she said coldly. 

“I know,” he replied. 

“The only reason I might do this for you is because he makes you happy,” she continued. “And it’s past time for happiness to find you.”

Steve wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He honestly kicked himself for even daring to ask this of her. This really wasn’t a fair request to make of her. She shared less of it with him than he did with her, her confidant was Bucky’s mother, but he knew that she had not endured Joe’s drunken raves all those years and emerged unscathed either. He would probably have to do something big to make it up to her if she ended up doing this. She took a deep breath.

“All right, let’s get this over with,” she said, marching towards the front of the store. Steve waited outside at a safe distance. It was a good thing he had no money, otherwise he would be worried about loitering about near a brewery. Not that he wasn’t already on edge being so close to a brewery. Not for the first time in recent days, Steve wished that he was still taking his meds. He managed to remember to breathe and he started a breathing exercise. 

_This was a terrible idea_ , he thought. _It’s not safe here I need to get a—_

He breathed. He breathed deeply. And exhaled slowly through his mouth. He made his breathing even. He felt his heart rate start to slow down. He kept breathing. He imagined Thor wrapping his arms around him. It was easy to imagine. He was wearing his letterman jacket, and after convincing Thor to wear it for a week, it smelled like him again. He focused on the comforting scent. He leaned back against the wall as he waited for his mother. She emerged a few minutes later carrying a six pack of craft beer. She took a deep breath and handed him the beers.

“Thanks, mom,” he said. “I owe you one.”

“One?” she scoffed. “Son, you owe me six.”

“Deal.”

* * *

The following Friday, he arrived at the school wearing the letterman jacket as always. He couldn’t wait for spring. He was a summer baby, he wasn’t equipped to deal with the cold. Today was windy, too. It was terrible. Those thoughts were just his attempt to distract himself from the fact that Valentine’s Day was only two days away. And Thor still hadn’t told him a damn thing about what he had planned for the evening. Loki and Tony were practically fawning over each other all week. He had a feeling what the two of them were doing for Valentine’s Day. But every time Steve tried to ask, Thor smiled that stupid, goofy smile and kissed him until Steve stopped asking.

“ _Älskling_ ,” he’d say between kisses, “you would not want me to spoil the surprise, would you?” And after that whatever Steve usually became too distracted to press the issue. 

Today, though, Thor met him just inside the front door and presented him with a smile and held a single red rose. It was beautiful. Steve smiled in spite of himself and took the flower. He tried not to show how his heart swelled in his chest as he approached, but the charming, cheesiness in the gesture was too much. And just like him. Just like Thor to do something utterly cheesy and romantic for the cheesiest holiday of the year. His boyfriend bent to kiss him lightly on the lips as he approached.

“You know Valentine’s Day isn’t until Sunday, right?” he said as he held the flower up to his nose. To his surprise, it actually contained the pleasant, musty, slightly fruity smell that roses were supposed to come with. “Thank you.”

Thor smiled down at him and took his hand and laced their fingers together. “Today was the day the school was delivering the flowers and chocolates to people in class,” he explained. “The least I could do was give you the real thing.”

Steve blushed and swung their arms together. It was sweet. He held the flower up to his nose again and smiled. 

“Excuse me,” someone said. Steve turned to see someone he had never met before. She was short and shy. She looked like a freshman. “I just wanted to say that I think it’s really great that you two are so comfortable being out. It’s really cute.”

“Thanks?” Steve replied. She smiled and scurried away, leaving Steve utterly bemused. “Okay, that was… different.”

“At least she meant well,” Thor said. He seemed indifferent. “She could have asked us to tone it down like that Davies girl did a while back.”

Steve rolled his eyes at the memory. It wasn’t the only time that had happened either. Somehow there were students that saw straight couples walking around practically eating each other’s faces, but he and Thor could just give a peck on the lips and suddenly it was excessive. Thor never seemed surprised, just annoyed and perhaps a little resigned. Aside from that one time they got detention because he punched a kid. Maybe he just had more experience with this kind of thing than Steve. 

Their friends were all assembled when they arrived. Tony was holding a similar rose, smiling as he held it to his face. He seemed uncharacteristically romantic. He was always physically affectionate with Loki, it was kind of annoying, honestly. But it was usually under the guise of being sexual interest rather than a romantic one. This was one of the first times that Steve had seen evidence of Tony having genuine feelings for his boyfriend. But then again, Steve never knew what to make of Tony.

“Thank God you are here,” Pietro said when they arrived. “Those two have been all over each other all morning.” 

“You mean like they are every morning?” Steve replied. 

“It is worse today,” Wanda griped, looking at them out of the side of her eyes. “They seem like they are as into each other as you two are, but without the consideration for others.”

“I heard that,” Tony said. “If you got a problem with me kissing my boyfriend, you can look the other way.”

“It’s not that bad, Wanda,” Steve countered, leaning against the lockers. “It’s not like Thor and I never make out in public.”

Tony snorted. “Honestly, they’re worse than we are most days.”

Steve glared light heartedly at Tony. He meant well, at least, in his own way. As irreverent as he was, his heart was generally in the right place, even if his mouth wasn’t. 

“You know what I mean, Steve,” she said. 

“Well, it _is_ almost Valentine’s Day,” Thor pointed out. “You are just jealous that you do not have anyone to make out with.”

“Yes, I live for the day when I can smack lips with someone and try to eat their face,” she drawled, rolling her eyes. “You have seen right through me.”

“That’s what I live for,” Pietro remarked. Wanda hit his shoulder lovingly. One of the strange things about having siblings, Steve noticed. Whether it was Thor and his brother, the Maximoff twins, or Bucky and his sister, Becca, they all seemed to constantly pick on each other, but they never seemed to mind. They got annoyed with each other, but they always seemed to get over it quickly. Steve didn’t really understand it. 

Steve brought the flower to his nose again to smell it. It was nice. Beside him, Thor squeezed his hand. He looked up at him. Thor had that look in his eye, the one he got when he was thinking about him. Steve stood on his tiptoes to brush his lips across his boyfriend’s.

“Oh gods, not them, too,” Wanda groaned. 

“You don’t like it?” Steve asked. “You can look the other way.”

“Amen brother,” Tony said. They high fived before going back to make out with their respective pagans. Thor rumbled in his chest, the kind that sounded like thunder that always made Steve’s heart skip a beat. He smiled against his lips. 

It was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, if any of y'all enjoy fantasy and powerful female characters, Age of Myth is a great book. 
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, as always! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various fandom related nonsense! <3


	39. Valentine's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrap it before you tap it, y'all! 
> 
> (This chapter is NSFW)

It was going to be a disaster. Steve was absolutely convinced of this. He was hastily trying to come up with a convincing excuse to call out, to tell Thor that he was sick or something so that he wouldn’t have to go out tonight. His attempts to interrupt his thoughts had been met with limited success. Calling the whole thing off was looking more and more appealing. 

But, as always, his mother was unwilling to put up with his bullshit and practically pushed him into the bathroom to freshen up first so that she could have it to herself to get ready for her date. 

“You’re going on your Valentine’s date with your boyfriend and you’re going to have fun,” she said gently. “Even if I have to kick you out of the apartment tonight to do it.”

And that was how, at 5:30 in the evening, Steve was pacing around his living room, the book and beer he got for his boyfriend for Valentine’s Day sitting on the kitchen table along with every other piece of miscellaneous junk they had accumulated recently. He considered hiding both. Better to get rid of them than risk him being disappointed. Yes, that was best, he started walking towards the table. 

The apartment buzzer rang. _He’s here_ , Steve thought with dread. He trudged over to let his boyfriend in and mentally prepared for the worst. A few minutes later there was a knock on their door and he slowly, almost reluctantly opened the door. Sure enough, his boyfriend was standing there, smiling brightly with another rose in his hand. A rose was pinned to his black suit, matching his red button down shirt perfectly. In his other hand he had a box of chocolates and Steve’s stomach growled. He was a simple man, with simple wants. Chocolate was usually somewhere on the list. He smiled in spite of himself as Thor leaned down to kiss him. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, _älskling_ ,” he said. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe,” Steve replied. “Come on in, I—uh, I have something… for you, I mean.”

Thor just smiled and pinned the rose to his suit. Thor had been very insistent on it. Steve could only assume that he was taking them to a fancy restaurant of some sort. That did little to settle his nerves. Mr. Baker walked through the door, looking himself like he was going to a fancy, upscale destination. Steve assumed that he was going to be their chaperone again. 

Steve just walked to the table and picked up the book, wrapped in simple red wrapping paper. Thor smiled and tore at the wrapping.

“Ooooo,” he said as he saw the gift. “A book! I have been looking for something new to read lately.”

He opened the book to the summary and read it. His eyebrows rose almost immediately and Steve let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Thor looked up and smiled at him. He pressed a kiss to his lips and Steve sighed in relief. 

“I love it,” he said. 

“Well, that’s good,” Steve said. “Otherwise there was the backup gift.”

“There is a backup?” Thor asked, amused. “What is it?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure that a book was… you know, a good gift,” he admitted. He held out the case of beer. “So I got this, too, just in case.”

Thor’s eyes actually lit up and he laughed as he took the case. “Is this from the brewery?” he asked with delight. “I cannot believe you did this! This is amazing!”

Steve was beginning to think that his boyfriend had simple desires as well. The joy with which he regarded his gifts did wonders for his anxiety. He felt the tension in his shoulders ease a little bit as Thor’s face lit up, his eyes dancing with delight. 

“Mr. Baker, please take this,” Thor said. “I’m looking forward to enjoying these when I get home tonight.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Bertie, there you are,” Steve’s mother said walking out of her room. Steve’s mouth dropped. She was wearing a stunning scarlet dress with the pearl necklace he had gotten for her for Christmas and her pearl earrings. She walked right up to Mr. Baker and kissed him softly. Steve wondered if his jaw might detach completely. Mr. Baker was her boyfriend? “Close your mouth, dear. You’ll catch flies.”

He closed his mouth and stared, wide-eyed and shocked. Thor seemed to be just as shocked as he was. 

“How long has this been going on?” Thor asked, looking at his butler. 

“About 3 and a half months, sir,” Mr. Baker said. Steve thought back. Three months ago was a bit before Thanksgiving, so… that meant that they had been interested in each other since…

“You’ve been together since Samhain and you didn’t tell me?” Steve demanded. “Jeez, mom!”

His mother blushed faintly. “Well, now you know,” she said. “And we do need to get going. We have a reservation.”

“As do the two of you,” Mr. Baker reminded them. He did, however, take the case of beer and the book from Thor’s hands. “The beer will be at home when you return, Master Odinson. Now get going.”

Thor grabbed his hand and they left before Steve could demand any more information from them.

* * *

“Would you ever have guessed that my butler and your mother would end up together?” Thor asked as he pulled Steve’s chair out for him. Steve chuckled. It was a cheesy, romantic thing, and part of him felt like it was the sort of thing a guy would do for a woman, but he liked it. It was a classy establishment. People chatting, servers showed wine samples to the customers, the hostess had taken their coats when they walked in, and the smells wafting through the dining room from the kitchen were unlike any he had ever experienced before. 

“Never in my life,” Steve replied. “I’m still not sure how or when they started being interested in each other.”

“Are you sure you want to find out?” Thor asked. Steve screwed his face up and laughed. 

“Good point,” he said. “At least Mr. Baker will treat her right.”

“If he doesn’t, I’ll fire him,” Thor said matter-of-factly. “Worry not.”

It did something to alleviate his concerns, Steve had to admit. He picked up the menu sitting at the table and his heart sunk. It was in German. 

“Babe,” Steve said. “I assume you speak German.”

His boyfriend nodded, then looked up and had the grace to look sheepish. “I forgot. You cannot read German,” he said.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Wanna walk me through the menu?”

It was the strangest experience he’d ever had. German cuisine was apparently something Thor was familiar with, but Steve had no conception of what it was. Pork, veal, and sausage seemed to be the major meats present in most dishes. Strangely, there were also cheese plates, pretzels, and pickles for appetizers. It sounded delicious from what Thor was able to tell him, though Steve was immensely glad that he couldn’t tell what the prices were. He was trying not to think about it, honestly. _Thank goodness he didn’t tell me what he had planned_ , Steve thought. _I would never have agreed to this otherwise._

The waiter came up with two glasses of water to take their order and again, Steve felt a bit out of place as she greeted them in German. Thor didn’t miss a beat and placed their orders. She seemed pleased and smiled at Thor as she left. Steve felt a surge of jealousy rise in his gut. It wasn’t like they were on a casual date on a Friday. It was Valentine’s Day in New York City. Gay couples were everywhere, there were even a couple in here. Thor, thankfully, scowled at her in disapproval, not that she seemed to notice. 

“Some people have no manners,” Thor grumbled. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s not your fault,” Steve replied. “It’s not as if you gave her a reason to flirt with you.”

Though if he was being objective, he couldn’t blame her. Thor looked amazing. The dark red button down shirt hugged his muscled, broad chest in all the right ways. He looked powerful and confident and as completely at ease in a suit and tie as he was in a football jersey. Thor smiled at him from across the table and Steve blushed as he realized he’d been caught. 

“My eyes are up here, love,” he purred. Steve shivered. Thor chuckled at him and Steve glared at his date. The look was probably ruined by the smile. “Worry not, Steve. That part will come later.”

Steve tried to make some kind of witty, flirtatious reply like Is that a promise? or something, but all he could do was suffer in silence as his entire face blushed from his ears to his neck. He pulled at the collar of his shirt, which was suddenly tight and uncomfortable and confining. His boyfriend laughed cruelly at his plight. 

“How many languages do you speak again?” Steve asked, eager to change the subject. Thor smiled knowingly. 

“I speak Swedish, English, German, and French fluently,” Thor said. “I speak some Spanish, Swiss, and Italian and I am conversational in Russian and Finnish.”

“Jesus,” Steve said. “Is there any place in Europe you wouldn’t be able to go for when you do that tour?”

“Greece might be problematic,” Thor said with a grin. “But… to be honest, I think I may put off the trip. I have been thinking of doing something else during my year between high school and Uni.”

“Really?” Steve asked. He wasn’t sure what to think of that. It was… a relief, as much as he hated to admit it. Did he really have the right to ask him to stay for him? “What made you change your mind?”

Thor looked at him for a moment. “Perhaps there is a reason to stay,” he said. Steve blushed. 

“I don’t want to keep you from your friends and family,” Steve said. 

“Trust me, Steve,” Thor said. “If I stayed, I would still visit them for a week or two. And if I did stay, I would do so because there was someone I wanted more.”

Steve looked down at the table and hid his face in his water glass. He smiled, but he didn’t dare hope that Thor would actually stay in America for someone like him. 

“Hey,” Thor said. Steve looked up. Thor was looking at him, his eyes gentle and filled with love. “Nothing need be decided yet, älskling. It is still months away.”

“I… I’m sorry,” Steve said. 

“Sorry?” Thor said, perplexed. “Why are you sorry?”

“I just… I don’t know what to say,” he replied. 

“Are you not pleased?” Thor asked.

“I am, yes, of course,” Steve said. “It’s just… a bit sudden. I’m not sure what to think or how to feel.”

“Well, gratitude would be a good place to start,” he said neutrally. Steve blushed with shame.

“Sorry. Thank you,” he said. Thor smiled at him. “But really, I have no right to ask you to stay on my account.”

“You have not asked me, Steve,” Thor said. “I am merely considering it. I would like to think that my relationship with you to be reason enough to stay.”

“I’d like that, Thor,” he replied. “I admit, I’ve been preoccupied lately about you returning to Sweden.”

“I know,” Thor said gently. He reached across the table to lace their fingers together. “I have, too. Both my relationships before you ended when I returned to America. I would be lying if I said that the idea of returning to Sweden didn’t worry me.”

_That might explain why Odin was so confident that we would not last a full year_ , Steve thought. 

“Well, like you said,” Steve said, squeezing his hand. “We still have a few months before it happens. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves.”

Thor smiled. The rest of the conversation revolved around the recent rugby matches in Europe as they split a cheese plate Thor had apparently ordered as an appetizer. They had been watching rugby together regularly and Steve was becoming a fan of the sport. It was, he loathed to admit, better than football. But he didn’t make Germany his team, like Thor did. His team was Ireland, since he was Irish. Thor was willing to indulge him, though he grumbled constantly about his choice in team. He still hadn’t forgiven him for the time Germany lost against Ireland, but he had enjoyed the dinner Thor bought him very much. 

“I am planning on trying out for football in the spring,” Thor said. “Sorry, soccer.”

“Aren’t you a bit… big to play soccer?” Steve said with a grin.

“No,” Thor replied adamantly. Around that time, their waitress came out with their food. It smelled delicious. There was a pork chop, some kind of German noodle called spätzle, and brussel sprouts. His stomach growled loudly at the sight. Thor was smiling, obviously pleased with himself. Until the waitress put her hand on his shoulder. He glared at her and pointedly shrugged his shoulder so her hand was no longer touching him. He said something to her in German and she walked away quickly, like she had been shocked. He rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the food. 

“So what?” Steve said, eager to go back to their conversation. “Do you plan on being the goalie or something?”

“I could be a goal keeper,” Thor said, cutting a piece of his veal. “But I prefer more aggressive positions, like a striker. Scoring goals and such. Depends on where the coach would want me to be.”

Steve put a piece of pork in his mouth and all coherent thought flew out the window. He put a hand over his mouth as he moaned. It was the single most delicious thing he’d ever eaten in his life. Thor chuckled across the table at him. 

“That’s amazing,” Steve said reverently. “I think I’m in love.”

“Good to know that my biggest competition for your affections is a piece of meat,” Thor replied. “This is my mother’s favorite restaurant. She’s a regular here. The owner was happy to give me a table tonight.”

“I’m dumping you for this pork chop,” Steve continued. Thor retaliated by stealing a brussel sprout. “Your table manners are terrible. I’m telling your mother.”

“That may actually be the way I die,” Thor mused.

* * *

Thor kissed him as soon as they were outside the restaurant. Steve smiled against his lips and he hummed. He could taste the food on his lips. It had been the most entertaining thing to watch Steve eat high end food in a fancy restaurant. He had moaned at every bite and Thor had to pointedly and deliberately ignore him while he was eating, lest his thoughts wander to what else Steve moaned to. 

_Stop that_ , he thought. _There will be time to do that later._

“That was the best dinner I’ve ever had,” Steve whispered against him. “I had fun tonight.”

Thor chuckled. “I should hope you still have energy to do more, love,” he rumbled. “The night is still young. Our date is not yet over.”

Steve smiled and laced their fingers together. “Lead on, babe.”

Thor led him to an otherwise nondescript corner of a street. There wasn’t much there and Steve looked around. There was, however, a group of people gathered around. Some seemed to be goths or something. He made his way to the group leader and handed her two tickets and they joined the small crowd of people.

“What is this Thor?” Steve asked. 

“This, _älskling_ , is a ghost tour,” Thor whispered in his best spooky voice. Steve looked up and smiled with such excitement that all of Thor’s worries about whether he would like something like this went away. Steve was practically bouncing with excitement. It got some odd looks from some of the other people as they waited for the tour to begin. When it finally did, Steve practically dragged Thor along. It was endearing. 

The tour lasted two hours and Steve looked like a kid in a candy store the entire time. The tour focused on hauntings and places in the historical district where violent deaths or famous tragedies had occurred. Some of it was disturbing, but Thor laughed when Steve looked around at the historical district. Thor admitted that the local history behind the horror stories was fascinating, but Steve’s interest in the hauntings was a purely supernatural thing.

“I want to live here,” Steve said. 

“Here?” Thor asked. “Did you hear what the tour guide just said, Steve?”

“Yeah, it’s fascinating,” Steve enthused. “Do you think there are really ghosts in these places? Can you imagine living in a place with a ghost?”

“Yes, it would be like living with an extra roommate you cannot get rid of,” Thor replied. “An extra roommate who’s potentially violent.”

“Coward,” Steve teased. Thor glared playfully down at him.

“You are lucky that you are cute,” he muttered. 

“You just need to watch more Supernatural,” Steve said. Several other people in the group cheered at that. 

“Watch more supernatural what?” Thor asked. Steve looked at him like he had grown a second head.

“Supernatural! It’s a tv show,” he said. “How can you like horror but not know about Supernatural?”

“It just sounds like you are saying supernatural over and over again,” Thor griped. “What is it?”

“It’s a show about two brothers who travel the country hunting various supernatural monsters,” he explained. “It’s a great show, you’d love it.”

“It sounds interesting,” Thor admitted. “Fantasy and horror _are_ my favorite genres.”

The tour ended shortly after, the tour guide sharing one last fascinating story about a haunting that seemed to occur after a woman killed herself upon learning that her husband had died in WWII. Steve drank it all up. When it was over and the group dispersed, Thor called a cab to drive them home. 

“That was amazing,” Steve gushed. Thor smiled and shut him up with a kiss. 

“I am pleased that you enjoyed yourself, love,” he murmured against Steve’s lips. Steve sighed into the kiss. Thor drew his lover close to him and pressed him against his body as he deepened the kiss. Steve buried a hand in Thor’s hair and tugged firmly. Thor groaned. Steve’s mouth moved down to his neck, kissing and sucking on the sensitive flesh. 

The driver coughed loudly and Steve jumped, apparently forgetting that Mr. Baker was not, in fact, their driver this time. Thor admitted that he had forgotten as well. His butler never commented, so they often snogged in the back of the car at the end of their dates. Or the beginning. Or the middle. It depended on their mood. Steve was insatiable, as always. Not that Thor minded in the slightest. 

It took much too much time getting back to the house. He wanted to ravish his little lover, preferably in the privacy of his own home. Or his own room, at any rate. His mind wandered to what he would do if he did have the house to himself or even if it was just an apartment. He wouldn’t even bother going to the bedroom. He would take him to the couch and worship his body then and there. Of course, that would imply that they would be living together. The thought made him pause. Theoretically, he would be okay with that, but… he was only 18. Surely too young to think about that sort of thing. And yet, part of him couldn’t help but wonder. 

When they finally did arrive at the house and Thor paid and tipped the driver, he immediately kissed his boyfriend. Snow flurries were falling all around them and the ground was covered in a few inches of snow from a few days ago. It was beautiful. Steve’s face was red and flushed from the cold, but his eyes shown in the soft, golden light of the lampposts. 

“Let’s get inside,” Steve whispered. Thor smiled and led him to the door. When they got inside, the living room was dark. Some kind of romantic comedy was playing on the tv. The two of them took their shoes and coats off quietly before led him up the stairs to his room. Tony and Loki were making out on the couch in the upstairs living room. His heart was racing as he opened the door to his bedroom. He was not disappointed. 

Steve gaped when he saw the interior. The room was lit with candles on the nightstands and the dresser. On one nightstand was another box of chocolates. But that wasn’t the biggest concern. The bed was covered in red rose petals, straight out of a romance novel or a rom com like the one his parents were watching downstairs. Steve let go of his hand. 

“Wha—is all this for… me?” Steve asked. Thor turned to him and pressed his forehead and Steve’s as he cupped his face in his hands.

“Always,” he whispered. Steve grinned. 

“Am I being… deflowered tonight?” he asked. 

Thor groaned and screwed his eyes shut. The moment was gone, just like that. Steve had the nerve to laugh at him, at the terrible joke he just made. 

“I went out of my way to be romantic for you,” Thor said through a strained grin. “And you have the nerve to make a _pun_?”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it,” he giggled. Thor smacked his ass in retaliation. Steve had the grace to yelp.

“Do not lie,” Thor growled with faux anger. Steve continued with that cheeky grin. “And to answer your… question… I was planning on it. If you are ready, that is.”

Steve grew serious at that. He tended to take these things seriously, which was good. It was easier to accommodate for him when he was honest about what he was ready for and when. Thor was ready for more, but months ago it had become obvious that this relationship would move at Steve’s pace. That they had progressed to ass play and fingering was encouraging, but it was Steve’s decision. 

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I—I want to,” he said. Thor smiled. He went and fetched a box from under the bed.

“Then I suggest that you go clean yourself,” he whispered. Steve eyed it uncertainly.

“This isn’t yours is it?” he asked. Thor just laughed.

“No, _älskling_ , it is new,” he said. Steve took the box and went to the bathroom to prepare. Meanwhile, Thor commenced with his own preparations. He would make this a night to remember.

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, Steve finally completed his preparations. He tried to be as thorough as he could, but he was also quivering with excitement. Adrenaline coursed through his body. He was ready. Or, he felt as ready as he would ever be. He already knew that his boyfriend wasn’t exactly small. He had been fantasizing about this for months. 

He practically ran back to the room, even though the bathroom was connected to Thor’s bedroom. He was ready and perhaps a little overeager. Thor, for some reason was not there when he returned. He had all of a minute to think it odd before he entered through the other door.

“Where were you?” Steve asked. 

“Preparing,” he said simply. He stalked over to him and pressed a hot, passionate, yet gentle kiss to his lips. Steve moaned into his mouth. Thor’s fingers expertly untied the tie that gave him so much trouble earlier. His mouth moved to suck on his earlobe. Steve whined. His fingers clumsily struggled with the buttons on Thor’s shirt. Thor chuckled against his neck.

“Shut up,” he gasped. He meant to growl, but he didn’t seem capable. Thor’s mouth nipped and sucked at his neck as his fingers deftly undid the buttons on Steve’s shirt. When he was done he roughly shoved it off and threw it to the ground. Steve gasped and tore his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. His lover hummed as his hands roamed over the familiar landscape of his body. Down his spine, over his nipples, over the scars on his shoulder and his side. Steve shivered against him. Somehow, this felt more vulnerable. But he wasn’t afraid. Nervous yes, but not afraid.

He arched up against Thor’s body as his hands reached the small of his back and descended to squeeze at their prize. Thor’s big, callused hands cupped the globes of his ass and began to knead it greedily. 

“Thor,” he begged. “Please…”

“Please what, _älskling_?” he chuckled darkly. “Use your words.”

Steve, having no patience at all at this point, seized his face and pressed a hot, searing kiss to his lips as he pressed himself against his lover’s strong, hard body. Steve pushed him back towards the bed until, or tried to anyway. Thor stubbornly refused to move, grinning against his lips.

“Please,” he whispered. “Take me to bed.”

“Gladly,” Thor murmured. He took control of the kiss, bending down to grab his lover by the thighs. Steve scrambled a bit. This was new. He just managed to hook his legs around Thor’s torso when his lover shoved him down onto the bed and he landed amidst the fragrant rose petals. He had to admit, even though it was pretty cheesy, Thor knew how to woo and romance a guy. 

Thor was looming over him, unbuttoning his shirt slowly, his eyes dark with lust. Steve shivered at the look of hunger on his face. It went straight to his cock. Thor stripped out of his button down and moved to take his tie off.

“Wait,” Steve said. Thor paused and looked at him curiously. Steve could see it, the confusion, the faint worry that Steve had changed his mind. He swallowed. “Leave it.”

Thor looked down at his tie and smiled. “As you wish, love,” he purred. He tore his shirt off over his head and Steve’s mouth watered at the sight of the silky, bright red tie dangling around Thor’s neck running straight down the curves and valleys of his muscled chest. It was…

“Hooot,” Steve said. For once, he meant to say it. Thor grinned wickedly and got on the bed to press another hot kiss to his lips. Steve’s hands wandered over the heated skin. Thor was a hotbox and Steve loved it. The feeling of hot, hard muscles beneath his hands, holding him down, pleasuring him, Steve pleasuring Thor in return. It drove him insane. His hands went to Thor’s tight, firm ass and squeezed. His lover purred against his neck and began to suck at the soft, sensitive flesh there. Steve could feel Thor’s boner pressing against his and he rutted against his lover gently. Thor immediately rose and flipped him over. 

“You’re wearing too much clothing, love,” he half growled, half purred against him. Steve arched his back, pressing his ass against the evidence of Thor’s arousal. His hands flew down to undo the buckle on his belt, desperate to be out of the confining material. He shucks the pants to the ground and lies naked as the day he was born before his lover.

It still took some getting used to, the idea that someone as beautiful as Thor would choose someone as plain, as scrawny and small as Steve. But he was grateful to whatever God or gods or spirits or whatever had decided to give him this man. Now he looked up at him from his position on the bed, his lover staring down at him, lust and love in his eyes. 

“You’re wearing too much clothing, babe,” he echoed. Thor’s response was simply to brush one thick, callused finger over his hole. Steve moaned into the mattress, taking in the fragrance of the roses.

“Patience, love,” he whispered. “You will get what you desire soon enough.”

Steve whined as the finger left him. He heard Thor making short work of his pants as they dropped to the floor. He looked back and took in his lover’s beautiful, naked form. The way his muscles cascaded down his body, forming hills and valleys until he laid eyes on his cock, dangling long and thick and hard between his legs. Thor leaned down to kiss him and Steve wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer and running his hands over Thor’s back, his chest, his abs. Thor’s skin was hot beneath Steve’s hands and his kiss was filled with that heat, that passion. 

Thor broke this kiss to move down Steve’s body, leaving a trail of kisses down his throat, his chest, until he reached his groin. He breathed over Steve’s hard, aching member, then flipped him over. Steve grunted as he found himself on his stomach. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked back at him. Thor was grinning at Steve as his hands spread the globes of Steve’s ass apart. 

“Relax, Steve,” he whispered. Then he licked one long stripe over his hole. Steve bit his lip and moaned. It was… strange. Easily the weirdest thing he’d ever felt, but oddly, it felt good, too. Thor licked and nipped at his hole and Steve found himself pushing back against Thor’s face, begging for more. Thor gave it to him. His tongue entered Steve, fucking him shallowly. Steve moaned into the sheets beneath him. Thor knew what he was about, there was no question, but Steve’s only thought was about how good it felt. 

Thor lapped and nipped at Steve’s hole, his beard rubbing and burning the sensitive skin. Steve whined when his lover came up for air. Thor uncapped a bottle of lube and squeezed some out on his hand and pressed one slick finger to his entrance and slipped easily inside. Steve moaned and arched into the touch, fucking himself back on Thor’s hand.

“Oh my _älskling_ ,” Thor whispered. “You are so beautiful, fucking yourself on me. So desperate.”

Steve just moaned as he continued. Thor gently pressed another finger into him and angled them so that they hit his prostate. Steve buried his face into the pillows as he moaned wantonly. He rutted back against him.

“Please, please Thor,” he begged. “I-I need more.”

“Shh,” Thor whispered, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Patience, my love. I need to prepare you. I do not wish to cause you pain.”

“You won’t,” Steve said. He moaned as Thor pressed against his prostate again, arching his back into the touch. “I trust you.”

“That is high praise, Steve,” Thor whispered against his lips. He pressed a third finger into his entrance. Steve winced at the burning, yet pleasant sensation. “And shall prove worthy of that trust.”

Thor fucked him with his fingers. It felt amazing as Thor’s fingers brushed against Steve’s prostate, making him fist the sheets beneath him. He felt so full, so unbelievably filled with his lover. And somehow so much more vulnerable than Steve had ever been in his life. Thor bent over him and pressed soothing, heated kisses against his shoulder, sucking on the back of his neck. 

“Breathe, _älskling_ ,” he murmured against his skin. “Relax for me, love.”

Steve breathed, relaxing the muscles in his ass. Thor worked at stretching him and Steve focused on breathing. He arched back and placed a kiss to Thor’s lips. His lover hummed against him. Thor’s other hand stroked Steve’s thigh, his hand roaming upwards until his hand tangled in Steve’s hair, pulling gently. Steve gasped and wrapped his legs around his boyfriend, trying to bring him closer.

Suddenly, Thor retracted his fingers from Steve’s ass. Steve whined and looked back at his lover, who was smiling with lust and hunger. He shivered beneath his gaze. 

“Fuck me, Thor,” he whispered. Thor leaned down to press a hot kiss to his lips again. 

“No,” he murmured. 

“What?” Steve asked. Thor rolled Steve over and placed a pillow beneath his ass. Thor grabbed a condom and wrapped it over his big, hard member. Then Thor lubed it up and pressed it gently to Steve’s entrance.

“Breathe, Steve,” he whispered, staring down at him. “Tonight, we make love.”

Steve breathed in. And exhaled slowly as Thor pressed into him. He wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck. It burned, but it felt incredible.

“Steve, if it starts to hurt, I need you to let me know,” Thor panted against Steve’s face. “Ohhh gods, love, you are so tight.”

Steve had the presence of mind to nod as Thor inched forward. Steve’s hole stretched around him. He focused on breathing, on relaxing as he took Thor’s cock. It seemed so much bigger than it did when he stroked it or even when he was sucking him off. Even with the stretching and the ass play they had done the past couple weeks, it was a challenge to take him. He managed to take most of him before the pleasant burning sensation changed to actual pain.

“Stop,” he breathed. “Please, I can’t.”

Thor paused and pulled out slightly to the point where it no longer hurt. 

“Sorry,” Steve breathed. “I thought I could do it.”

“Shh, love,” he murmured against Steve’s lips. “You will. Eventually.”

Steve took in a deep, trembling breath as he adjusted to Thor’s length inside him. When he was ready for him to move he nodded. Thor groaned as he pulled out and rocked back into him, careful not to go further than Steve could take. Steve, in spite of himself, dug his nails into Thor’s back. Thor groaned into his ear as he rocked his hips into him. One thrust brushed against his prostate and Steve cried against his lover’s ear. Thor captured his lips in a searing kiss and kept rocking his hips into Steve’s ass. 

“Ooooooh Jesus,” Steve moaned. Thor chuckled. “Sh-shut up,” Steve grumbled. Steve raised his hands and buried them in Thor’s hair. His lover moaned into his mouth, his tongue exploring Steve’s mouth covering him. Steve wrapped his legs around Thor’s waist as his boyfriend rocked into him, hitting his prostate with every thrust. The pleasure coursing through his body made Steve’s toes curl as he arch up against his lover.

“You, you feel amazing around me,” Thor groaned into Steve’s mouth. He increased his pace slightly and moaned something in Swedish into Steve’s mouth. Steve grinned through his lust-filled haze. He loved it when Thor lost control like this, reverting to his native tongue.

Steve mewled against him as his cock brushed against his prostate. He felt his orgasm building. Steve reached down between their bodies and gripped his cock and began stroking it desperately. Thor pulled his hair, making Steve whine as his lover’s mouth descended onto his neck, nipping and sucking possessively. 

“Thor, babe I’m-I’m close,” he gasped. Thor growled against his skin and quickened his pace even more. His lover sucked hard on his collarbone and the sweet, beautiful pain sent Steve over the edge. He came with a shout, his seed coating their stomachs and his ass constricting around his lover’s large cock. It was the most powerful orgasm he’d ever experienced. Thor grunted as he continued fucking into Steve’s ass. The feeling was incredible in the aftermath of Steve’s orgasm. He felt… more. More sensitive, more alive and Thor’s cock in his ass felt amazing. 

Thor groaned as he came. Steve could feel his lover’s cock pulsing inside him, filling the condom with his cum. Steve slumped against the bed, boneless and tired and sated. Thor kissed him lazily and Steve actually did giggle against his lips. Thor’s rumbling chuckle answered and Steve ran his hands over his lover’s biceps, which were shaking with the effort of holding him up above Steve so that Thor wouldn’t collapse on him. Not that Steve would mind, really. 

Eventually Thor pulled out of his ass and Steve whined at the loss. He felt empty. He clenched his ass experimentally, feeling the loss of Thor’s member poignantly. Thor lumbered over to the bathroom and returned shortly with a warm, damp rag to clean them off with. When he was done he collapsed next to him and Steve rolled over to toy with his hair. Thor purred.

“You’re just a big, horny cat, aren’t you?” Steve chuckled. Thor just purred again and nuzzled his face. “That was amazing, by the way.”

Thor hummed, obviously pleased. “Cat got your tongue, Thor?” Steve teased.

“Do you feel sore at all, _älskling_?” Thor asked.

“A bit, but you know, it’s the good kind of sore, like after a workout,” Steve said. “It doesn’t hurt.”

“I am pleased,” Thor replied. “I would hate for our evening to be cut short so soon.”

Steve’s eyebrows rose and his cock twitched pitifully in interest. “What did you have in mind?” he asked. He wasn’t sure that he was ready to bottom for Thor again so soon. Thor grinned. 

“I want to feel you inside me,” Thor whispered into Steve’s ear. Steve shivered. He felt his cock begin to stir again. Steve reached down to bring his lover back to hardness. Thor moaned softy and returned the favor. Steve was trembling with excitement. He had only fantasized about fucking Thor, and then only on occasion. Most of his fantasies involved bottoming.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked. “I mean… you won’t feel bad about… doing this?”

“I happen to enjoy both, _älskling_ ,” Thor said with a chuckle. “Just because I am masculine and athletic does not mean that I do not enjoy getting bent over and getting fucked.”

“I thought we weren’t fucking tonight,” Steve teased. Thor hummed. 

“Right you are,” Thor replied. Thor moved away from him and rolled over to kneel on his hands and knees, his bare ass up in the air. Steve’s eyes went immediately to the firm, beautiful globes of Thor’s ass. “So make love to me.”

Steve shivered in anticipation and kissed his lover. He began to kiss his way down Thor’s body, reaching around him to tease his nipples the way he seemed to love. Thor was definitely more sensitive there than Steve was and Steve was only too happy to tease them. When he reached his lover’s big, beautiful ass, he did something uncharacteristically spontaneous. He bit it. The sound that escaped Thor’s mouth was something halfway between a moan and a yelp. He looked down at Steve in shock. Steve grinned mischievously.

“You are an insatiable menace,” Thor declared. Steve just bit the other side for good measure. “Why do you not make yourself useful and rim me?”

“So bossy,” Steve chastised. “What was it you told me? Be patient?”

Thor’s eyes darkened. “If you wish it of me,” he murmured darkly. “I will fuck your tight, pretty ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week. And everyone will know what happened to you.”

“Why don’t you?” Steve asked. 

“Because it would take a month for you to recover,” Thor said, pushing his ass up to Steve’s face. “And I am not that patient.”

Steve shivered and grinned. It made him feel indescribably wonderful, powerful even, to know that he did this to Thor. It was a strange sort of satisfaction. But he did as Thor requested and spread the beautiful, firm globes of his ass apart. There it was. It was, well, Steve wasn’t sure what he was expecting. 

_Here goes nothing_ , Steve thought. He leaned down to lick his boyfriend’s hole. Thor moaned above him and pushed his ass back into his face. Steve grinned. It wasn’t all that different from kissing and licking Thor’s neck or any other part of his body. That was a relief, honestly. Steve began to mimic what Thor had done to him, licking and nipping at his hole. Thor sighed and moaned above him. It didn’t take long before Thor’s hole began to relax, and Steve’s tongue slipped easily inside. Thor pushed back against him even more as Steve’s tongue licked his entrance, fucking his hole.

Steve lost himself in it for a while, licking and eating his lover out. It was oddly satisfying. 

“Not that I am not enjoying this,” Thor said, panting. “But you do need to stretch me before you fuck me.”

Steve just hummed against him before he came up for air. “I’m just enjoying myself here,” he replied, putting a single finger against his lover’s entrance. “You in a hurry for something?”

“We do have school in the morning, unfortunately,” Thor drawled. “Unless you anticipate being ill in the morning.”

“We could play hookie again,” Steve said, grabbing the lube. He squeezed some onto his fingers and slowly pressed one into his hole. “Stay in bed, sleep in, make love, come out for food or something.”

Thor hummed and sighed at the thought as Steve’s finger entered him. He was tight and hot, but he relaxed more easily than Steve did. He must be more used to this than Steve thought. Steve pushed his finger until all that was left was the last knuckle of his hand. He began to explore the hole experimentally. Thor moaned contentedly.

“A little to the right,” Thor murmured. Steve followed the direction. “Down a bit.”

Thor moaned loudly as Steve found whatever it was inside him. The prostate, Thor had claimed the first time he had put his fingers inside Steve. Whatever it was, Steve couldn’t deny that it felt amazing. He slowly inserted another finger. Thor made a strained moan. 

“You good, babe?” Steve asked.

“Yes, love,” he replied. “You have to stretch me somehow.”

Steve grinned and resumed his ministrations. He worked Thor’s hole open, rubbing over his prostate as his fingers fucked his hole. Thor rutted into the mattress. Steve’s other hand reached down to massage Thor’s balls. His lover moaned into a pillow. 

“Let me hear you, babe,” Steve said. Thor looked down at him, his eyes dark with lust and smiled a positively evil smile. Then Thor moaned loudly. Steve grinned as he inserted a third finger and his lover gasped and moaned as his hole was stretched even more. Steve kept fucking him with his fingers, taking in the beautiful sight of his lover at his mercy, his strong, muscled form begging and desperate. 

“Steve, _älskling_ , please,” he begged. 

“Please what?” Steve asked wickedly. “Use your words, babe.”

“You are hilarious,” Thor drawled. Just for that, Steve brushed his fingers over his prostate, eliciting a wanton moan. 

“Come on, babe,” Steve teased, continuing to tease his prostate. “Tell me what you want.”

“When did you become so filthy?” Thor asked, his chest panting. “Please make love to me, Steve.”

Steve reached over to the nightstand and returned to his lover to kiss him tenderly on the lips. “I’d love to.”

He wrapped his cock in the condom like he had been doing it for years. That was one good thing about having so much sex with his boyfriend. Lots of practice. He lubed up his wrapped cock and tossed the bottle to the side. Steve lined pulled his lover up so that he was on his knees in front of him and lined his cock up to his entrance and pressed in slowly. Thor moaned as the head of Steve’s cock breached him. Steve was seeing stars. 

So this is what it feels like, he thought with a rush. Thor was unbelievably tight and hot and Christ, Steve was probably going to die buried inside his boyfriend. He pressed forward slowly, deeper into his lover. Finally, he bottomed out and he was fully sheathed in his boyfriend and he exhaled slowly. He leaned forward to kiss his back. Thor was breathing hard, too. 

“Love, you can move now,” Thor said at last. Steve pulled out slowly and slammed back into him. Thor groaned loudly and pushed back against him, trying to get him to go deeper inside him. Steve angled his thrusts in the direction of Thor’s prostate, smiling with satisfaction as his boyfriend moaned loudly. 

“Harder,” Thor moaned. “Please, love.”

Steve complied, slamming into his lover with greater gusto. He savored the feeling of Thor wrapped around him, tight and hot. It was amazing. In the midst of it all, he couldn’t tell which he loved more, Thor’s cock in his ass or his cock in Thor’s ass. Thor was just hot in general. 

Steve reached around his lover with his lubed hand to grip his cock. It took him a bit, but he began to stroke Thor in tandem with his thrusts and Thor groaned into the pillow, arching his back in a way Steve didn’t think he was capable of. The image in front of him was obscene. Thor on his elbows with his ass in the air, his hair strewn over his sweaty face, his back arched as Steve fucked into him, his eyes blown black with arousal, and his face flushed with pleasure. 

Steve leaned over him. “I want to draw you like this,” Steve whispered before he could stop himself. Thor looked at him somewhat shocked but unbelievably aroused. Steve snapped his hips forward in emphasis. “All fucked and desperate and beautiful. I want to remember this.”

Thor stared at him like he had grown a second head, but he smiled as he pushed back against Steve. Steve groaned as Thor tightened around him. Steve responded by reaching up to pull his hair.

“The things you say, love,” Thor groaned. “I would love pose naked for you. But just for you.”

“Just for me,” Steve said, snapping his hips forward. “And you, if you ever wanted to see it.”

“You have a devious mind, my love,” Thor gasped. He began to moan and whisper in Swedish. Or maybe it was German. Steve couldn’t tell. It was all Greek to him. He quickened the pace of his thrusts, slamming into his tight ass. Thor grunted as he came, tightening around Steve’s cock. It felt like heaven. 

“Oh Christ, oh God,” Steve cried as he lost it, moaning loudly as he came, filling the condom with his seed. He slumped over his lover when he was done, utterly exhausted. When he came down from his orgasm high, he pulled out of his lover’s ass and discarded the condom. Thor made a small sound of protest as he did so. Steve dropped down next to him. Thor grabbed the rag on the nightstand and cleaned himself off, then pulled Steve into his arms to cuddle. 

“Where did you learn to talk dirty?” Thor asked sleepily. Steve kissed his lover softly and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

“You’re talkative when you’re horny, babe,” he said. “I learned from the best.”

Thor hummed, pleased. 

“So how was I?” Steve asked. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“I would have told you if you had,” Thor murmured. “You were amazing. You’re a natural top. And a natural bottom.”

“Is it okay if I don’t know what I prefer?” Steve asked. He twirled a strand of his hair as he settled down from the amazing sex.

“Of course, love,” Thor murmured. “Though I prefer topping, honestly. I like the power I have when I top.”

“Funny,” Steve said, smiling against Thor’s lips. “I feel the same way when I bottom. Or when I’m sucking your dick.”

“You do look amazing with your mouth around my cock,” Thor whispered. 

“Careful now,” Steve warned. “Didn’t you say that we have school tomorrow?”

“Did you not say that you wanted to play hookie?” Thor countered. “I want to see how many times we can go before you beg for mercy.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” Steve said with a grin. “Maybe you’ll be the one to beg.”

Thor reached down to pinch his ass and Steve moaned into his mouth. “We shall see.”

Steve pulled Thor’s hair slightly. “I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was fun. Let me know what y'all thought! Comments and kudos give me life! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	40. 7 of Wands (Competition)

In retrospect, Steve’s newfound sexual prowess was probably bravado. They did indeed stay up all night having sex, but Steve paid for it with a limp the following week. The day they played hookie, Thor taught him some stretches that helped and Steve did them every day, but it was still a week before he was able to walk normally. The evening after Valentine’s Day, when Frigga and Loki first noticed his limp, they both started arguing fiercely, but quietly. Steve caught something about a pot and decided to ignore them. Thankfully, they didn’t involve him, so Steve was content to forget that it ever happened. He sat down on the couch and immediately regretted his life choices as he yelped from the pain. Thor winced apologetically while Loki began laughing his ass off. Frigga said nothing, but there was an amused, knowing twinkle in her eye that Steve decided not to ask about. 

He almost regretted it, from the stares and odd looks that people gave him while he was walking with Thor. _Almost._ Ms. Foster had given him a sly, knowing look when he had walked into class on Tuesday, but said nothing. Tony, on the other hand, cheered loudly and congratulated him on “finally getting laid.” Which wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t been quite so loud about it. Steve grinned and bore it, though. Tony wasn’t tolerated so much as he was endured. He did make life interesting, though, there was no mistake about that.

Three weeks after Valentine’s Day had Steve waiting eagerly for his best friend’s return. Bucky’s spring break was ridiculously early in the year. This time seemed to be different, though. He found himself pacing in the train station like he had for Thor when he was returning from Sweden. It seemed ridiculous, but he had butterflies in his stomach as he waited for his friend to return for the week. He missed him, even though he had friends, even though he had Thor, he still felt like part of him was missing when Bucky was away. 

Thor was with him again and watching him with some amusement. Steve tried to ignore the look of humor and affection on his boyfriend’s face. He was busy trying not to panic. It would be helpful if he could remember some of his coping strategies, but he was too frazzled at the moment. 

“ _Älskling_ , come now,” Thor said. “Sit with me. You will wear a track into the floor before long.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” Steve replied when he came over. “It’s just Bucky. It’s not like I haven’t known him for years.”

“He has been gone for some time,” Thor pointed out, taking Steve’s hand in his. “It is not quite so irrational as you think.”

“You said that you’re nervous every time you leave Sweden, right?” Steve asked. 

“I did. And I am,” Thor replied. “They are my best friends in the world. I always wonder what has changed since I was last in their company.”

“Right,” Steve said.

“All will be well, Steve,” Thor said, squeezing his hand. Steve found the gesture comforting, though he was still worried. 

After what felt like an eternity, Steve saw the familiar, sauntering gait of his best friend. Bucky smiled that charming, lopsided grin of his and Steve felt the butterflies in his stomach settle just a little bit at the sight. He walked towards him and Bucky let go of his suitcase to take Steve into his arms and swing him around. Steve laughed in his ear until his friend set him down. 

“How you doing, you punk?” Bucky asked, ruffling his hair. Steve slapped his hand away with a laugh. “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s weird here without you, you jerk,” Steve replied with a smile. “It would even be boring if it weren’t for Thor.”

“I am pleased to know that I am of some interest to you, love,” Thor teased with a grin. He embraced Bucky fiercely. Bucky looked a bit shocked by the gesture, actually, but returned the embrace with equal gusto. Steve smiled at the sight. He was glad that they got along, though honestly he didn’t know why he ever thought that they would not. “Welcome back, Bucky.”

“It’s good to be back, Thor,” Bucky replied. “Now, I’m starving.”

“You’re always starving, Buck,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. 

“I’m a growing boy, Stevie,” he replied, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “You can’t expect me to not eat when I’m hungry.”

* * *

Steve was acting strangely. Not bad, per se, but it was definitely outside the norm for his behavior. Thor couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was, but he was certain it involved his friend, Bucky. He dismissed it due to Steve trying to plan a surprise of some sort for his birthday, which was in a week. Bucky was supposed to leave the day after to return to college. It was a reasonable thing to want to do. Bucky was gone away at college most of the time, so it was natural that Steve would want to spend more time with him when he was in town. 

Thor could not deny, of course, that Bucky had a magnetic kind of charm about him. It was what made him such an effective quarterback during the years when Thor had unsuccessfully tried to get the position. He was good at making people feel at ease. Add to that his long, dark hair, handsome face, beautiful body, and natural swagger, and Thor could see the appeal. He had even had a brief crush on Bucky a year ago, but kept his distance since it was so soon after his breakup with his most recent ex. Discovering that Steve was Bucky’s best friend months ago was something of a shock. 

They were heading back to Steve’s apartment after dropping off his bags at Bucky’s and by now Thor honestly felt a bit like a third wheel. But Steve had asked him to come, so he came. For moral support, Thor imagined. Of course, Thor had said that since Bucky was Steve’s friend that he wanted to get to know him better. That was probably another reason. They were talking about how college was going (the major was challenging, but Bucky was enjoying it), how someone named Natasha was doing (she was dating someone named Clint, now), and what his plans for the summer were (Bucky didn’t have any, yet). 

Bucky had replaced his suitcase with a backpack. Thor had no idea what was in it, but he didn’t bother asking. He assumed that he would find out sooner or later. It didn’t take them long to get to Steve’s apartment. Apparently, they only lived a block away from each other. Thor tried not to be jealous. He didn’t live that far from Steve, but it was still a fair distance.

“Bucky!” Ms. Rogers exclaimed when they entered Steve’s apartment. She must have been getting ready for work, because she was dressed in her nurse’s outfit. She walked up to him and hugged him warmly. Ms. Rogers was a tiny woman. Steve definitely took after her. Seeing her envelop Bucky, who was only a little smaller than Thor himself was, was quite a sight. “Welcome back, it’s so good to see you again.”

“Hello, Ms. Rogers,” Bucky said politely. “It’s good to be back.”

“I wish I could talk, but I need ot get to the hospital,” she said. “Steve, there’s some leftovers in the fridge if you want to heat something up for your friends. Or you can cook something.”

“Mom, we’ll be fine,” Steve said with a shy smile. “Go on, don’t be late.”

She smiled at all of them and waved goodbye as she stepped out of the apartment.

“So Thor,” Bucky said, taking out a WiiU and a few controllers. Thor turned, surprised to be finally included in the conversation. “Do you play Smash Bros.?” 

Thor grinned. “Are you ready to lose?” he challenged. 

“Oh ho! Someone’s confident!” Bucky said, grinning. “Let’s see what you Swedish folks are made of!”

It turned out that all of them were around equally skilled at the game. It was something of a relief actually and the three of them quickly became very competitive. Steve and Bucky laughed at Thor for choosing Pikachu for his character, but immediately regretted it when he won the first round. Steve’s character of choice was Captain Falcon and Bucky chose Snake. Thor won the second round as well, despite their best efforts. 

“Okay punk,” Bucky said. “I need you to put your relationship with your boyfriend aside. We have to beat this guy.”

“ _Älskling_ ,” Thor countered, whispering into his ear. “I am not sleeping with you tonight if you two gang up on me.”

Steve looked at him with shock and immediately changed the settings so that he and Thor were on a team against Bucky. Bucky had twice as many lives, though, so the round lasted about the same amount of time. Steve and Thor worked well together, but Bucky knew how Steve played the game. He was able to stay out of his way, for the most part. But Thor was new and he was good. 

“Sorry, Bucky,” Steve said when he lost. “But I want to get laid tonight.”

Bucky side-eyed him and grinned then turned to Thor. “I don’t blame you, Stevie,” he said, checking Thor out. “I’d want it, too.”

“You know I love you, right?” Steve asked. Bucky punched his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah Rogers,” he griped. “Don’t get mushy, you still gotta help me bring him down at some point.”

The next round they finally managed to beat Thor. It came down between Steve and Bucky and Steve had a slight advantage. Bucky put up a hell of a fight, though, before Steve managed to pull through by the narrowest of margins. All three of them yelled when Steve managed to turn a bad situation around and beat his friend, Thor and Steve in victory and Bucky in protest. 

“We’re not friends anymore, Steve,” Bucky pouted.

“Come on, Bucky, don’t be sad,” Steve teased. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll win the next one.”

He did, actually. Bucky took his revenge on Steve first and the final fight came down between him and Thor. It was a close thing, but Bucky finally managed to come out on top and he cheered as Pikachu went flying off screen. 

“In your face, Odinson!” he crowed. Thor retaliated by tackling Bucky and the two of them crashed to the floor. Bucky pulled his hair, a low blow for which Thor paid him in kind. They wrestled each other on the floor until the Thor managed to pin him to floor in a chokehold and Bucky tapped out. “Coach would be ashamed of me, getting beat like that.”

“You wrestled in high school, then?” Thor asked as he released Bucky and helped him up. 

“Yeah, well you know how it is,” Bucky said with that lopsided grin. “Gotta stay active somehow. I liked wrestling, even played some baseball in the spring.”

“He was pretty decent at baseball,” Steve provided. “Not as good as he was at football, but still.”

“I am impressed,” Thor said appreciatively. “I myself play actual football in the spring and rugby during the summer, though I would gladly play rugby year round if I lived in Sweden.”

They moved on at that point to Mario Kart, which it turned out that Thor also excelled at, but was outstripped by his little boyfriend. He quickly found that he did not need to go easy on him in this game because Steve was already better than both of them at the game. Even when they went to Rainbow Road, Steve navigated the track with ease, to the point where Thor was actually enraged. 

“My love, you must be a demon, for no one should be this adept at Rainbow Road,” he growled. 

“Suck it, babe, I’m winning!” Steve crowed. 

“Is that an invitation, love?” Thor asked. “What about our audience? Not that I mind, the more the merrier.”

Bucky just ignored them. “Thor, at this point a blowjob might be our only chance to get Steve to lose,” he groaned. “Might as well try it.”

Steve’s face went red as a beet and he finally lost control of his cart and veered off the track. Just long enough for Thor to pass him and gain the lead. Steve glared at him out of the side of his eyes and squirmed slightly, adjusting his khakis discreetly. 

“You two play dirty,” he grumbled. Thor actually did manage to win this round and cheered as he passed the finish line. Thor leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“You know that I love you,” he whispered. Steve resisted his charms for all of three seconds before he turned and kissed him chastely on the lips. 

“I love you, too, babe,” Steve replied. Bucky coughed. 

“You two are gross, just fuck already,” he teased. Steve’s face went red as a tomato as a shy smile formed on his face. Thor immediately thought back to their last night together. Last night, actually. Steve bent over on his hands and knees… it was a glorious sight and forever seared into Thor’s memory. A split second later, Bucky’s eyes were bright with mischief. “No way! You already did it! You knocked boots! My little Stevie’s all grown up! Why didn’t you tell me that you two boned?!”

Steve’s blush was already spreading from his face to his neck. Thor watched it wander beneath the fabric of his shirt, knowing full well that his entire body was likely burning with shame. Were it in any other situation, he would tear the clothes off Steve and tease him until his entire body was flushed and pink with desire. But they weren’t alone. 

“Fine, we slept together and we had sex, you happy?” Steve said, flustered. Bucky smiled, but not with mischief, like Thor was expecting. It was gentle, happy, with a tinge of sadness that confused Thor. He put it from his mind, however. 

“I am Steve,” he said. “I’m glad you’re happy. He’s a good man.”

Steve was still flustered, but he returned the smile. “He is.”

It was Thor’s turn to blush at the praise, a blush that did not go unnoticed by Bucky Barnes. Bucky threw a pillow in his direction. Thor snatched it up and threw it back. A mini pillow fight broke out between the three of them and didn’t stop until Bucky tackled Thor to the ground and they started wrestling for real again. This time, Bucky managed to get the upper hand and pinned Thor to the ground for a full 10 seconds. 

“Come on, babe, I’m disappointed in you,” Steve teased. 

“Bold words, little man,” Bucky said, taking a fighting stance. “Let’s see if you can back it up.”

Steve, to Thor’s amusement, didn’t back down at all. Instead, he walked right up to him and assumed a sloppy fighting stance. It made sense. Steve had no real experience fighting aside from having to defend himself from bullies. Not the best way to learn how to fight. Bucky went to grab him, but Steve ducked smoothly and dodged through Bucky’s defenses… and began to tickle him. 

What happened next was something Thor hadn’t expected at all. Steve was tickling his best friend, his fingers dancing over his body and Bucky actually shrieked with laughter. He was utterly defenseless against Steve’s relentless assault. Thor couldn’t help it, he started laughing as loudly as he could at the sight. He doubled over and fell to the floor as Steve tickled his best friend into submission. 

“Uncle! Uncle!” Bucky cried. Steve relented and his best friend slumped to the floor to catch his breath. Steve grinned down at him.

“You have vanquished a mighty foe, my little hero,” Thor said from where he was lying. “I am so proud of you.”

“Do I get a kiss from the dashing sidekick?” Steve asked. Thor grinned and crawled over to place a kiss to his lips. “Maybe I should do this professionally, if this is the reward.”

“Fuck you, Odinson. You too, Rogers,” Bucky grumbled. “Go be gross somewhere else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, as always!
> 
> This is probably a good time to mention that those pesky mystery tags y'all may have noticed will be replaced sometime next week. Hold on to your hats! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	41. Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mystery tags have been revealed, as promised!

Bucky Barnes felt like a fool. A god damned fool. There was no way this was a good idea. After a few days of spring break, after spending nearly every day with Steve and Thor, he knew that they were up to something. It was probably Steve’s idea, in all honesty. Steve would be the kind of person to want to do something for his birthday. Bucky long ago stopped celebrating his birthday, but Steve insisted on doing something every year. This year was no different, evidently. 

It was ridiculous. He should just stay home with his family and relax until he had to go back to college. It would be easier than going with his friend to whatever it was he had planned. It wasn’t usually something extravagant and there usually wasn’t a party or a cake or anything. Not even for his 18th birthday last year. Steve knew Bucky hated a fuss. It would be something fun, an outing of some sort. Maybe bowling or the arcade or something. At least it wouldn’t be something fancy. He couldn’t wait to see what Thor would do for Steve’s birthday. Probably something ridiculous and over the top. 

Bucky didn’t deserve that much effort. He just didn’t. Hell, he didn’t deserve to have a friend like Steve. He certainly didn’t deserve anything more from him. 

He could hear his mom and sister doing their morning devotion. His dad was probably with them reading the newspaper or drinking his coffee or something. When they were done he would pray and Bucky would come out pretending that he had just woken up. Bucky hadn’t joined his family for their morning devotions in years. Not since he had figured out that he was into guys. He didn’t find the point in it anymore. He wasn’t about to worship some God that said that he was wrong just because he happened to like men. Not that he had cared much for religion to begin with. 

Bucky sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. He wondered why he had been unlucky enough to be born into a conservative Christian family in the middle of New York City. Baptists, too. Most people he talked to at college couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t wait until he was able to get out and get his own place. He wasn’t able to make enough money during the summer, though, and he didn’t work enough hours during the school year to be able to save much. He was stuck here until he could figure something out. At the latest, he would probably have to take out a huge loan to be able to rent a place near Penn State. He was already taking out a lot just to attend college. He couldn’t afford to take out more. 

_No point in bellyaching about it now_ , he thought. He would continue on until he graduated and he was able to get a job to support himself. He’d even consider leaving New York if it meant he was able to do that. But Steve… Steve would still be here. Perhaps it was worth it, to be with him, in whatever way that meant. He thought back to the time he had found them dancing on the rooftop during Homecoming, wishing that he had had the guts to say something sooner. He was shit out of luck, now, though. Steve would always be the one that got away, because Bucky was too much of a coward to say anything. The worst part was that Bucky always suspected that his friend liked men. It was just his luck that Steve would only realize that _after_ Bucky left for college. 

_Damn fool_ , he told himself. _You’re just a god damned fool._

Love did that to a person, it seemed. According to his mom, anyway. 

He heard his dad’s voice. They were praying now. He would be able to come out soon, to get ready for whatever it was Steve had planned. In spite of everything, Steve was still his best friend. Bucky would take him in whatever form he could get him. Perhaps it would be enough.

* * *

Just as Bucky predicted, Steve had something planned for the day and Thor was in on it. Bucky only hoped that Steve had done the actual planning and not his boyfriend. Having hung out with Thor on occasion, more in the past week, but a few times before that during high school, he knew that Thor would do something over the top. He was fond of celebrating, whatever the occasion. 

But Steve was terrible at being coy. As soon as Bucky arrived at his apartment, he knew that the little runt had something up his sleeve. Of course, after years of this sort of thing, it should come as no surprise. Steve’s mom was there, too, of course. She must have the day off. Steve hugged Bucky fiercely when he stepped inside the apartment. Bucky returned the embrace with equal enthusiasm and smiled. He would take what he could get from his friend, even if it was the most platonic hug in the world. 

“Happy birthday, you jerk,” Steve said against his neck. In spite of himself, the feeling made Bucky smile. 

“Thanks, punk,” he replied. “So what do you have planned this year?” 

“Who says I have anything planned?” Steve asked.

“You always have something planned.”

“And you never agree to just play along,” Steve grumbled halfheartedly. “Come on.”

* * *

Steve took them to the arcade, which was a bit more than what he did most years, but by no means something they had never done before. Usually it was just a movie or something, nothing fancy. Bucky also knew for a fact that this was the arcade Steve and Thor had gone to on that day they played hookie months ago. 

Bucky was excited, in spite of himself. He and Steve used to hang out at these places all the time. It would always become some kind of competition to see which one could win the most things. Steve was better than him at stuff like air hockey and table tennis, while Bucky was better at bowling and pinball. It felt like a blast from the past and Bucky found himself grinning like an idiot when they walked through the doors. As soon as they were through the doors, Bucky noticed Mr. Baker, Loki, and Tony. Tony eyed him up, and Bucky grinned at the memory of the night he shared with Tony and his boyfriend. That was a good night. 

The place was packed for a Wednesday. Bucky was actually amazed that all his friends skipped school to hang out with him. Or that Steve’s mom and Thor’s butler had helped them do it. It was like a weird, alternate reality thing. This was probably the closest thing he’d had to a birthday party since he was 9 years old. The last one his parents had thrown for him. After that he was “too old” and Steve and his mom had taken over. As long as Steve’s dad could be kept out of the way, it was fine. It was one of the few things he had seen their moms fight over. 

“Happy birthday, man!” Tony said, snapping a corner birthday hat on his head and shoving a party blower in his mouth. Bucky grinned and blew, chuckling as it hit Tony in the face. “Not my idea of a celebration but you know, we can always fix that later.”

“Perhaps if your boyfriend agrees,” Bucky replied. In truth, between returning to college and his pining over Steve, he wasn’t really in the mood. Not that that had stopped him last time. Loki looked indifferent, but Bucky noticed the faintest ghost of a smile forming on his lips.

“You know that we can’t tonight, Tony,” Loki said. “We have rehearsal.”

“Right, tech week is next week,” Tony said. “Sorry, man. Maybe next time, when we’re not in a show that consumes all our free time.”

“Whatever, Tony,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes. He made a beeline to the bumper cars. All of them, save the adults, lined up to get in. Bucky looked over to see them holding hands with Ms. Roger’s head resting on Mr. Baker’s shoulder. He turned to Steve.

“How long has that been going on?” he asked. Steve glanced over and smiled.

“A few months, apparently,” he replied. “I only found out about it on Valentine’s Day.”

“Who knows?” Bucky asked, bumping his friend with a grin. “Maybe you’ll be the future Mr. Baker.”

“Shut up.”

“May I give you a hot towel, sir?” Bucky said in a British accent. “Would you like a spot of tea, ma’am? Tally ho!”

Thor snorted. “Never have I ever been offered any of those things and Mr. Baker is actually my butler.”

“Nor has he ever said ‘tally ho’,” Loki added with a laugh.

“Maybe we should ask him, just to see what he would do,” Tony proposed. 

“That’s a great idea, love,” Loki said. He pushed him forward. “Thanks for volunteering.”

“Hey! What if he kills me? What would you do, then?” 

“I would say something nice at your funeral,” Loki replied sardonically. “Here lies Tony. He was a decent fuck and a nice kisser. Too bad he was an idiot.”

Tony scoffed in what might have been faux offense. It was hard to tell what actually offended him and what he pretended to be offended by. 

Before long they were in the bumper cars driving around like lunatics. Thor managed to bump into Bucky first and before he could react, Steve had slammed into him from the other side. Bucky glared between the two of them and spent the rest of the round chasing them around the arena. He managed to get them both a couple times and they managed to get him as well. When the round was over he caught his diminutive friend in a chokehold and started to nuggie his head. Steve howled in protest.

“Thor! Help!” he cried. 

Bucky grinned at him as Thor walked up beside him… and poked his side. Bucky jumped and released his friend to assume a defensive fighting stance as he glared at Steve’s boyfriend. Thor grinned triumphantly as Steve hid behind his larger, muscular frame. 

“You’re a dirty cheat, Odinson,” Bucky growled. 

“It would delight me to no end to fight fair,” Thor said with a grin. “But perhaps we should save that for later when we have some room to move around.”

Bucky grinned in spite of himself. “You got it.”

Bucky made the rounds through the arcade. He managed to beat both Steve and Thor at table tennis, even when they combined their efforts to try and beat him. It didn’t help that neither of them were that good, so they kept getting in each other’s way. Finally, at some point in the early afternoon they all convened in the bowling alley part of the arcade over pizza and soda. Mr. Baker blew all of them out of the water, which was surprising to everyone except Steve and Thor.

“Did you know that he could do this?” Bucky asked.

“The last time we came here he did better,” Steve replied.

“Indeed,” Thor agreed. “He must be having an off day.”

Ms. Rogers was too busy cheering for her boyfriend to tune in to the conversation. There was an odd kind of swagger to Mr. Baker’s gait as he showed off. It was the most ridiculous thing, two old people flirting and dating and showing off for each other like teenagers. Steve groaned every time he caught them. Bucky found it kinda cute. He knew Steve was happy for his mom, too. 

Bucky couldn’t help but realize then that he was the only single person present at this thing. Steve had Thor, Loki and Tony had each other, and even Steve’s mom had a boyfriend. It was weird being the odd one out. He tried not to let himself dwell on it, though. He was having fun, and it really was a happy birthday.

I’m 19, he realized. It was bizarre. He thought back to what Steve had said on his 19th birthday last year, that it was weird to think that he had made it to beyond 18, like real life was starting to set in. 

“Here’s to what’s next,” he said, holding up his cup of coke in a toast. His friends cheered, even Loki, interestingly enough. As he drank from his coke, he stole a glance at Steve. His eyes were shining with happiness as he looked at him. It made his insides melt. 

It was the cruelest thing Steve could have ever done.

* * *

Hours later, Bucky and Steve were heading back to Steve’s apartment. They had stayed at the arcade until midafternoon and then headed to the movie theater to see the new Wonder Woman movie (spoiler alert, it was amazing). Bucky cried at the end, not that he would ever admit to such a thing. They were sitting together in back of the car, enthusiastically rehashing their favorite scenes in the movie until Ms. Rogers pulled into a spot outside Steve’s apartment building and they headed inside. 

Ms. Rogers went to bed as soon as they were inside. She apparently had a shift tomorrow. Steve and Bucky stayed up watching basketball. It wasn’t as much fun as baseball or football, but it was a sport and they enjoyed it. And they could talk aimlessly about nothing in particular while paying minimal attention to the game.

“Did you enjoy your birthday?” Steve asked. He was the only one who ever did. Well, him and his mom. They were saints, both of them. Too good and pure for this world. 

“Yeah, I did,” Bucky replied. “You know you don’t have to do this for me every year, right?”

“You say that every year,” Steve teased. “And every year I do something. You’re my friend and your family doesn’t do birthdays. It’s the least I could do.”

Bucky smiled at him in spite of himself. One of the teams scored, not that he noticed. He didn’t even know who was playing. He found himself staring at Steve, the light in his eyes that Bucky could pretend was love in his private moments. He was brave. He told his mom that he was gay and with Thor. Bucky could barely bring himself to tell Steve that he was pan all those months ago and Steve was his closest friend. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Steve asked. He didn’t pull away, though.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re trying to tell me something,” Steve replied. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

“Yeah… right,” he said slowly.

“So what’s eating you?” Steve asked. 

Bucky was quiet for a while, wrestling with his own inner demons. He always wanted an excuse to tell him, something, anything to tell him how he had felt. He had almost done it during Homecoming on a number of occasions. But now Steve actually wanted to know what was going on. 

Bucky took a deep, fortifying breath. His heart was racing, like Steve said his did when he was having a panic attack. Bucky knew that he wasn’t, but he couldn’t help with the comparison. He realized, of course, that sleeping with other people was an avoidance of his feelings for Steve, but he couldn’t help it. Now, with no one to distract himself with and Steve asking him directly, all Bucky wished for was a hole to crawl into. 

“Buck,” Steve said softly, taking his hand. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Before he could think better of it, before he could chicken out again, Bucky surged forward and captured Steve’s lips in a kiss. His heart was still racing. Steve squeaked in surprise and backed up onto the arm of the couch, looking down at him in shock.

“What was that?!” he demanded. Bucky swallowed.

“I love you,” Bucky found himself saying. It was completely out of the blue. But it was too late, he couldn’t go back now. “I’ve always loved you, Steve.”

“You—what?” Steve asked. “You can’t just… just say that!”

“You wanted to know what was bothering me!” Bucky protested.

“That doesn’t—I mean—you can’t just—where did you even,” Steve got up and began pacing around the room. “I have a boyfriend, Bucky! I’m happy! Why would you say that?”

Bucky hung his head. “I know.”

“What the hell, Buck!” Steve yelled. “What’s wrong with you?!”

Those words hit him like a slap in the face. He stared at Steve who seemed to realize what he said. “I didn’t mean that.”

“What did you mean?” Bucky demanded, his voice cold and calm. 

“I…” Steve said. “Jeez I just… you, you’re just…” he groaned with frustration. 

“I’m just what?” Bucky demanded. “Just what, Steve?! Say it!”

“You’re just my friend!” he shouted. He was breathing heavily. Bucky scoffed. 

“Yeah, I know. Always just your friend,” he said bitterly. He stalked over to where he had taken off his jacket and shoved his arms through it. Steve didn’t stop him as he practically ran out the door, slamming it shut behind him. He made it to his own apartment building a block or so away and went straight to his room, despite the protests and demands to know what was wrong from his family. As soon as the door was shut and locked behind him, he buried his face into a pillow and began to sob bitterly.

 _You fucked it up, now Barnes_ , he told himself.

* * *

Bucky packed his bags quickly and efficiently. He had been surely for days ever since his birthday. He’d heard nothing from Steve and he hadn’t texted him either. Part of him was sad. He had hoped that Steve would come around, that even if Bucky had said what he said, had done what he’d done, that they could move past it somehow. But no. He fucked it all to hell, and his best friend was probably never going to talk to him again. 

His sister was helping him in silence. Rebecca was 6 years younger than him, still in middle school. He missed her, too when he was at college and called at least once a week to check on her. Even she didn’t know about him, to his knowledge. Maybe she did. He wasn’t going to take that chance, though. His dumbass mouth had already cost him Steve. He’d just have to live with it. It was nothing less than he deserved. 

“Bucky, what’s wrong?” she asked suddenly. He looked up at her through his bangs. His hair was getting long, he would have to cut it soon. Or maybe not. Maybe he would keep it long, this time. He kinda liked it like this. 

“Nothing’s wrong, Beccs,” he replied simply. “I’m just not ready to go back.”

“So is that why you’ve been sulking in your room for days?” she asked. “We barely saw you at all. Again.”

“Look, I’m sorry, Becca,” he said guiltily. He was, he should have spent more time with her. But nearly all his time at home was spent with Steve, so he rarely saw his family except over Christmas. That had been fun. Christmas with a bunch of Baptists. At least Steve wasn’t religious. “We’ll hang out more next time, okay?”

“Is something wrong with Steve?” she asked. “Did he turn you down or something?”

Bucky looked at her, his jaw hanging open. “How did—who told you?” 

“No one, but you always spend time with him and you sigh after you come home after hanging out with him sometimes,” she said. “It wasn’t difficult to figure out.”

“You can’t tell our parents,” he hissed. She laughed.

“Who do you take me for?” she demanded. “You’re my big brother. I’ll always love you, even if you are a giant poop head.”

Bucky laughed ruffled her hair. She hissed and jumped away. “Seriously, though,” she said. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Bucky looked at her very seriously for a minute then held out his pinky. She rolled her eyes but grinned as she hooked her pinky around her brother’s. Bucky grinned at her and kept packing. 

“Yeah, he turned me down,” he said sadly. 

“Well, who knows?” she asked. “Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

Bucky shook his head. “No, he’s got someone pretty amazing already,” he sighed. “I just didn’t make my move quick enough.”

Becca said nothing at that and he was glad. Her 12 year old wisdom didn’t seem especially helpful right now. But it was nice to know that there was someone in his family who wouldn’t hate him for who he was. 

He said his farewells to his parents before heading down to the curb where the taxi was waiting. His train was leaving today and he had to be on board. Part of him was eager to leave. Part of him hoped that Steve would be there to see him off. A selfish part of him, perhaps, but still. He got into the cab and told him where to go and the cab driver pulled out and started driving. 

Bucky scrolled through Facebook as he waited for the taxi to arrive. He sat behind the driver’s seat and didn’t say a word. He pointedly avoided Steve’s Facebook page, not that the punk was on that much. He debated texting him, apologizing for what he did. There was no guarantee that it would even work, though. 

There’s nothing left to lose, he told himself. He started typing. As soon as he hit send he saw a bright light appear next to him he turned in time to hear a car honk, a split second before something slammed into the side of the taxi. He was awake long enough to notice two things: one, an intense pain in his left shoulder and the entire left side of his body; two, his arm wasn’t supposed to bend that way. 

Then everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, that happened. That was fun. I make no apologies. In my defense, it wasn't my idea and it probably would never have happened if my immediate friend group didn't consist of a group of polyamorous Christian witches. 
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	42. The Hermit (Introspection, Withdrawal)

Steve didn’t text Bucky at all over the next few days. He didn’t text Thor either. All his mom knew was that there was shouting and the door slammed and when she came out, Steve refused to talk about it. He left his room only to go to school, he barely spoke to his boyfriend when he was at school and every time Thor tried to figure out what was going on, Steve evaded the question. He knew Thor was worried, but he still didn’t confide in him. He didn’t know what to do.

He could still feel Bucky’s lips on his, the taste of pizza on his tongue. He was ashamed to admit that it excited him, made him feel giddy. He shouldn’t feel that way. He had a boyfriend. He had Thor. It wasn’t right. It felt a bit like cheating. And yet, when he thought of Bucky now, he felt sad. As soon as he had gone out the door he had wanted to go after him, fix it. But it was too late. 

Steve was on his bed in his room that Saturday, his back against window next to his bed. Bucky was leaving tomorrow, heading back to college. Steve hadn’t decided whether he was going to try and see him off at the train station. There was a part of him that was sad that he hadn’t seen his friend in days, even though he was returning to college today. He wanted to apologize for how he reacted. 

He was still trying to figure out how to feel about what Bucky said. He regretted flying off the handle like he had. Steve _had_ asked him what was bothering him. And honestly, if he had been in his shoes with Thor, he might have done the same thing in that situation. 

Thor… Steve had done it again. Shut Thor out while he was dealing with a personal crisis. Steve would have to apologize to him, too. He let his head fall back against the window and he closed his eyes. He sighed, mentally kicking himself. He kept doing that and he didn’t want to, it just happened whenever something stressful was going on in his life. If he could crawl inside a hole or an igloo to hide away from the world, he would.

There was a knock on the door. 

“What?” he grumbled. “Mom, I’m not in the mood.”

“Steve,” said a deep, baritone voice that was definitely not his mom. “Are you all right?” 

Steve sat for a moment on the bed before he got up and walked over to his door. When he unlocked it, Thor was standing above him, looking for all the world like he hadn’t slept. There were bags under his eyes that made it look like it had been a few days since he had done so. _How could I have missed this?_ Steve wondered. Then he remembered that he had shut off pretty much everyone the past few days. 

“Are you okay?” Steve asked. “You look terrible.”

“I am fine, I was worried about you, though,” he replied. “Also your mother asked me to tell you that she left for the hospital.”

Steve nodded and stepped back to let him in. Thor went ahead and sat on the bed, not thinking for a moment about the rumpled sheets or the clothes strewn over the floor. 

“Sorry for the mess, I… wasn’t expecting company,” he said meekly. Thor didn’t reply, so Steve just walked over and sat down next to him on the bed. He took Thor’s hand, finding comfort in the familiar strength in the rough calluses. Thor stroked a thumb over the back of his hand, but otherwise remained silent.

“Thank you for coming, Thor,” he whispered. “I’m… sorry that I didn’t say anything to you this week.”

“I worried about you, Steve,” Thor replied. “What troubles you? You do not eat, you barely spoke to anyone, and your attention always seemed to be elsewhere.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure how to go about doing that. He rested his head on Thor’s shoulder and sighed.

“Does it have to do with your friend, Bucky?” Thor asked. “Did the two of you have a fight?”

Steve nodded, his eyes beginning to tear up. His heart rate was beginning to quicken and he tried to think of something, anything to say other than what actually happened. He couldn’t bear to think about what would happen if he told his boyfriend.

“I am sorry, _älskling_ ,” his boyfriend murmured, kissing his head. “What happened?”

“I can’t tell you,” Steve choked out.

“Please, Steve,” Thor asked, wrapping his arm around Steve’s waist. “Tell me. Let me help you.”

“I can’t,” Steve said. Tears began to stream down his cheeks, staining Thor’s shirt. His shoulders began to shake and Thor turned to look him in the eye. His lover’s eyes flashed with concern, fear, then fury. The anger burned in his eyes as he regarded Steve.

“Did he hurt you, Steve?” Thor asked. His voice was like a razor, sharp and cold and dangerous. Steve looked at him through his tears and shook his head. Thor’s eyes softened a fraction. “Then why won’t you tell me?”

Steve sobbed and took a deep, trembling breath. “I d-don’t w-want you t-to l-leave me,” he sobbed.

Thor’s face changed just as quickly from fury to sorrow. “Did you cheat on me with him?” Again, Steve shook his head. “Then why would I leave you?”

Steve looked at him helplessly. He tried to blink away the tears. Thor wiped the tears away on his face with his thumbs and Steve sniffed. Thor drew him back into his arms and rocked him back and forth until Steve’s crying ceased. Steve took another deep breath and sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” he rasped.

“My love, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Thor whispered. “You do not have to tell me if you do not want to. I understand.”

“Do you?” Steve asked. Thor looked at him a bit helplessly before he shook his head. Steve huffed a humorless laugh. “It’s okay, I think I do want to talk about it. Just…”

“Name it, and it is done, _älskling_ ,” Thor promised. Steve swallowed.

“Promise you won’t be mad when I tell you,” he whispered. “Don’t… Don’t leave me.”

Thor reached out and took Steve’s hands in his, folding his large, callused hands over them. 

“I swear that I will not be angry and that I will not leave you,” he whispered. Steve gave a weak smile.

“You’re right,” Steve said. “Bucky and I did… have a fight.”

Thor said nothing. He just looked into Steve’s eyes with concern. 

“Something was bothering him, so I asked him what was wrong,” Steve said. “He didn’t do anything so I took his hand and told him he could tell me. Then… he kissed me.” Thor’s eyebrows rose slightly.

“And… and then he said that he loved me,” Steve continued. “Said he always did and… and I don’t know, I yelled at him and we shouted at each other and then he left.”

“You did not know that he felt that way?” Thor asked. 

“No!” Steve said indignantly. “Did you?”

“It was not exactly hard to figure out, love,” Thor said, with a modicum of amusement.

“Hmph,” Steve pouted. “Well, I didn’t know. I still don’t know how I feel about this.”

“Well…” Thor asked. “How do you feel about Bucky?”

Steve stared at his lover. “It doesn’t matter,” he said. “Because I love you. I won’t risk what we have for him.”

“That is not what I asked, Steve,” Thor said gently. “How do you feel about Bucky? I promise, I won’t be angry, not matter what the answer is.”

Steve laid his head against his lover’s chest and sighed. “What did I do to deserve you?” he wondered. Thor huffed and stroked his back, his hand rubbing slowly along the length of his spine. Steve sighed into the touch. 

“You deserve the world, my little hero,” Thor whispered into his hair. “I would give it to you, were it in my power to give.”

“The things you say,” Steve replied. 

“I assure you, I mean every word,” Thor insisted. Steve sighed. 

“I do,” Steve said at last. “I do like Bucky. Maybe I even love him. I don’t know.”

Steve wrapped his arms around Thor, clinging to him, despite his promise. Thor just kept rubbing soothing strokes along Steve’s back. Eventually Steve’s breathing and heartrate settled and he listened to the steady, comforting beat of his boyfriend’s heart. He fell asleep listening to his heart and breathing in Thor’s scent of wood smoke and pine. 

Steve woke up sometime later with his boyfriend wrapped around him, still dressed, with their legs tangled together. Steve looked at his face. He was so peaceful, his mouth parted slightly as he slept, snoring softly. He looked up at the window. It was still light out, they must not have been sleeping for long, perhaps an hour or so, but Steve stretched out, feeling much more rested than he had in days. Thor stirred as well, blinking slowly as he came to.

“How long were we out?” he asked. Steve checked the alarm clock on his nightstand. 

“About an hour, looks like,” he replied. “Sorry, I fell asleep in the middle of our conversation.”

“It is all right, love,” Thor yawned. “It would seem we both needed the extra sleep.”

“So,” Steve said. “Bucky loves me. I like, maybe love, Bucky.”

“So it would seem,” Thor replied, nestling back onto the pillows.

“So what now?” Steve asked. “I don’t… I don’t want to lose you. I don’t care if I love him, I love you, too.”

“I know, Steve,” Thor replied softly. “I would never leave you just because you care for another.”

“But what do we do about it?” Steve asked. 

“Well, there are a couple options,” Thor said. “We could continue on as we did before and you could set aside your feelings for him and hope that he can do the same.”

“Or?”

“Or, and this is something we would need to confer with Bucky on,” Thor said. “We could try a polyamorous relationship.”

“What’s a… a polyamorous relationship?” Steve asked. 

“It is where more than two people are involved in the same relationship,” Thor explained. “In this case, you, Bucky, and I would be in a relationship with each other.”

Steve stared at his boyfriend for a long moment. “I’m going to need you to explain that again, but slower.”

Thor chuckled. “You would have two boyfriends instead of one,” he replied.

Steve rolled over to stare at the ceiling. It was a shocking idea. Scandalous, even. It was the sort of thing he heard of from Bible stories or corrupt politicians or something. Did people actually still do that? Were there people out there who actually made it work? It seemed ridiculous to even consider, but… honestly, the idea had some appeal. 

“What about you?” Steve asked. “It doesn’t seem fair for just me to have two boyfriends.”

“I cannot deny that I, too, had a thing for Bucky a while back,” Thor said. Steve turned to smile at him, half in shock and half in amusement. “If he found it agreeable, I would certainly be interested in counting him as my lover.”

“Pinch me, I must be dreaming,” Steve said. “My boyfriend suggesting that we have another boyfriend.”

Thor did pinch him. He pinched Steve’s butt playfully. Steve whacked him on the shoulder, making Thor laugh loudly. Steve tried to glare at him before he, too was laughing. He thought about it. He thought about being able to kiss Bucky without any guilt. Being able to turn around and kiss Thor without any guilt. He thought about Bucky and Thor kissing and he couldn’t deny that it made him feel… excited. He felt his cock twitch in interest at the thought. He hummed with delight.

“Behave, _älskling_ ,” Thor whispered into his ear. “We’re trying to have a serious discussion.”

Steve shivered and turned his head to kiss his boyfriend. Thor pulled away before they could get _too_ carried away. Steve whined playfully at the loss.

“Fine,” he pouted. Then he sighed again. “Well… I don’t know what he would say, and it’s a bit late to ask him. He’s leaving for college today. But… if he were willing to try, then I would be willing to give it a shot.”

Thor nuzzled Steve’s face with his, rubbing their noses together. Steve savored the feeling of Thor’s soft, groomed beard against his face. 

“I wish he didn’t have to leave,” Steve said softly. “Oh Jesus, look at me, I’m pining after him already.”

Thor huffed. “Love, you have been pining after him for days,” he said. “And for what it is worth, I wish he did not have to go, too. I hate to see you sad.”

“Sap,” Steve accused. Then he laid a hand on Thor’s cheek. “I love you, though.”

“And I, you, Steve,” Thor whispered. He kissed Steve’s lips softly. Steve hummed contentedly into the kiss, prompting Thor to nip at his lower lip. Steve smiled and complied at the silent request, opening his mouth to deepen it. Thor’s tongue slipped inside. Steve moaned as their tongues wrestled together, dancing their familiar dance. Thor made no move to do anything other than kiss, though his hands did wander over Steve’s body. Steve was glad. He didn’t really want to have sex right now. Being with him here, this was enough. He needed his lover to be with him, keep him grounded. 

When they finally parted, Steve was smiling and he nestled his face in the crook of Thor’s neck. Thor held him gently.

“Have you ever done it before?” Steve asked.

“Done what?” Thor asked. “Polyamory?”

“Yeah.”

“Not personally, but…” Thor trailed off. “My parents briefly had a polyamorous arrangement, I believe.”

“Really? Odin and Frigga sharing someone else?” Steve asked. He couldn’t imagine it.

“As I said, it was a relatively brief,” Thor explained. “I don’t remember her name, but I do remember that the three of them seemed especially fond of each other. I was 8 at the time and she was gone before my parents ever got around to explaining who she was.”

“Have you ever wanted to be in a polyamorous relationship?” Steve asked. “It just seems strange to me, but this is all really new.”

“I understand,” Thor said softly. “And I thought about it, but neither of my previous boyfriends were as serious as you were, so it was never more than a cursory thought. It is hard to think of adding another person when the one you are with seems to not take the relationship seriously.”

“I would be sorry,” Steve said. “But it means that I have you now, so I can’t be that put out.”

Thor chuckled. “My second boyfriend wanted to have an open relationship, though,” he said. “That’s when two people are together but they allow each other to have sex with other people without being romantic with them.”

Steve screwed his face. “No offense, but I don’t think I could do that,” he said. “I love you, and if Bucky were to join us, I’d love it, but I wouldn’t want what you described.”

“No, neither did I,” Thor said. “That was when I broke up with him. It was not an unreasonable request. He was in Sweden and I was here, but I was still not comfortable with it.”

Steve hummed in understanding. Relationships were hard enough as they were, without being on opposite sides of the planet. Hell, his relationship with Thor was hard enough at times and he was considering adding another person to the mix. 

“Are we crazy?” he asked. “For actually considering this?”

“I think not,” Thor replied. “But it is a moot point, now. It will have to wait until he returns.”

Steve sighed. Just then, his phone started ringing and he groaned. He fished around his pockets until he found his phone. It was his mom. That was strange. She usually never called him while she was at work. Hell, she always made sure there was food in the fridge, so she rarely even texted to make sure he’d eaten. Her job kept her busy, that was for sure. He answered the call.

“Hey mom, what’s up?” he asked.

“Steve,” she said. She was very serious and calm. It made Steve’s stomach drop. An icy tendril of fear and dread curled around his heart as it started to beat faster. “It’s Bucky. You need to come in.”

_Oh God in heaven._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? Y'all were hoping for some sort of resolution? Ha! That's funny. :P
> 
> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	43. 8 of Swords (False Beliefs, Powerlessness)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack

His mom met him at the door while Thor paid the taxi driver. The entire way there Steve could only think about what had happened. All his mom told him over the phone was that he was in the hospital and pretty beat up. His mom looked as put together and steady as she had sounded over the phone. This was the nurse that he rarely saw, the person who acted in crisis situations. 

“What happened?” he asked when he arrived. She waited until Thor caught up with them. Thor took his hand, but Steve barely registered it. “Is he… is he…?”

“He’s alive, Steve,” his mom said. Steve breathed a sigh of relief. She started leading him to the elevator. “He was on his way to the train station when his taxi got t-boned by another car. Drunk driver.”

“Oh God,” Steve whispered. He hesitated slightly when he got to the elevator, but went in. “How bad is it?”

“His left arm is broken pretty badly,” she said. “Several cracked ribs on his left side. It may take him a couple months to fully recover.”

Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat. “At least he’s okay,” he whispered. Thor squeezed his hand gently. His mom looked down at their entwined fingers.

“Look alive,” she said. “Bucky’s family is here.” Steve immediately let go of Thor’s hand. 

“What is the matter with Bucky’s family?” Thor asked.

“They’re Baptists,” Steve said. “Conservative Christians. And they’ll give us no end of grief if they found out their son’s best friend is gay.

“I see,” Thor said, putting his hands in his pockets. “That is unfortunate.”

Steve’s mom hummed sympathetically as the elevator door opened and she led them to the room where Bucky was staying. Sure enough, Winifred Barnes and Bucky’s sister, Rebecca were there. Mrs. Barnes was crying by his bedside while his sister sat pensively by the window. The air was thick with fear. Steve could see why. Bucky was still out of it, but the heart monitor and other hospital equipment all said that he was alive. 

“Steve,” Mrs. Barnes said, getting up. She was still dressed in her nurse’s uniform, she must have been here when they brought him in, poor woman. She was the opposite of Steve’s mom in some ways. Whereas Sarah Rogers was petite, slim, and blond, Winifred Barnes was taller, plump, and had dark, if greying, hair. At 5’6, she was an inch shorter than Steve and seven inches shorter than her son. Bucky had inherited his Italian complexion from her and his height and build from his father. “Thank you so much for coming. It means so much to us. I know Bucky would be glad you were here, too, if he was… awake.”

Steve gave a weak smile. Maybe not, considering how we parted, he thought. He might not want anything to do with me. 

“He’ll wake up soon, Winnie, don’t you worry,” Steve’s mom assured her, pulling her into a hug of her own. “Have faith.”

“You’re right, Sarah,” she replied, tears shining in her eyes. She sat back down and took Bucky’s right hand in hers. Steve looked at Bucky’s body. It was… banged up was an understatement. His left arm was in a cast and there were various shallow cuts on his face from where the window must have broken. His heart broke at the sight of Bucky’s broken body. 

He felt cold. His heart began to race. _Oh no, not now_ , he thought. His body began to tremble and despite his best efforts he couldn’t get it under control. He watched, a prisoner trapped in a rebellious body, as he began to shake, before the feeling of overwhelming dread eclipsed his mind. 

He was being led somewhere. Steve’s mom was pulling him along to sit outside the room at bench out in the hall. Someone sat next to him. He jerked his head to the side. Thor. He took his hand and Steve squeezed like it was his lifeline. Thor began talking about something. Steve couldn’t keep up, couldn’t understand what he was saying. He was dying. He knew he was. There was nothing he could do to stop it. In the back of his mind, one thought ran through his brain again and again.

He deserved this.

* * *

Thor sighed in relief as he felt Steve’s trembling subside. He always worried during these attacks. Thor felt so powerless to help him. Thor only ever talked about his life, or Sweden, or even just repeated that it would be okay because he didn’t know what else to do. Steve was coated in a layer of sweat and as soon as the attack was over he crumpled forward and held his head in his hands and began to sob. 

It was a bad one, then. The panic attack had last nearly 45 minutes, much longer than it had been in recent months. Thor laid a hand on his back and began rubbing circles into it. Steve leaned into the touch as he sobbed quietly. 

“It’s my fault,” Steve choked out through his sobs. Thor paused and looked at his boyfriend. “It’s all my fault.”

“Steve, _älskling_ , you could not have known that this would happen,” Thor whispered gently. “This is a terrible thing to have happened, but it is in no way your fault.”

“I was the one who asked him what was wrong,” Steve sobbed. “I was the one who freaked out when he… when he…”

Thor nodded in understanding. 

“I yelled at him,” Steve said. “I asked what was wrong with him. He left and I fucked up and now he’s…”

“He’s alive,” Thor said. “He will recover. He will be well again.”

“He would be well now if it weren’t for me,” Steve insisted. “I should have been with him.”

“If you had been with him,” Thor countered. “You would be in another room here in the same boat.”

Steve kept crying for a while. Thor resumed rubbing his back. His heart broke at his boyfriend’s plight. His lover was strong and brave, but now he was just a sad, vulnerable child. Thor held Steve until his sobs began to subside, leaving only streaks of tears leading down his face and his hands from where he held his face.

“I am here, love,” Thor whispered. “I’m here for you.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Steve sniffled. 

“Love, you deserve everything,” Thor whispered. “You may not know it, but you do.”

“I’m broken, Thor,” Steve said. “Look at me! I’m damaged and broken and this is what happens when I dare to try and be happy. Bucky got hurt because of me.”

“You cannot blame yourself, Steve,” Thor said. The words stung, just a bit. Thor tried to dismiss it as Steve being emotional in the wake of what had happened. They still hurt, though. “The driver was drunk, you heard your mother. The only person at fault here is them.”

Steve sighed and leaned against Thor. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” he mumbled. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, love,” Thor murmured into his hair. They stayed that way for a time. “Do you want to go back in or do you want to go home?”

Steve was quiet for a long moment. Thor waited patiently for him to say something, fully prepared to either stay here with him for moral support, or take him home, whichever he wanted to do. There was the question of school tomorrow, of course, but it seemed simple enough to call his mother and tell her what happened. She would understand. Thor imagined Steve’s mother would understand as well. 

“I want to stay,” Steve said. “At least for a while longer. If that’s all right.”

“Of course,” Thor murmured. “We can stay as long as you need.”

Steve remained with him on the bench for a moment longer before he got up to go back inside. Thor followed him, but at a distance so as not to arouse suspicion. It was strange. He was not used to hiding who he was from others, but the last thing Steve needed was for Bucky’s family to find out. It was neither the time nor the place for that. So as much as it killed Thor, he kept his distance.

Bucky was still sleeping. Thor supposed it would be too much to hope that he would wake up while they had been outside. Still, there had been a glimmer of hope there. Steve’s mother assured them that he would awaken soon, though what the medical field considered to be “soon” Thor did not know. It could be in an hour. It could be in the next day or so. He hoped, for Steve’s sake, that it was sooner rather than later. It would put his mind at ease, knowing that Bucky was awake.

* * *

Hours later, Bucky still hadn’t woken up. It was dark out, now. He checked his phone. He read and reread the text Bucky had sent him just before the accident. 

_Hey Stevie_ , it said. _Look, I’m sorry about what I… did the other night. You’re right, I was out of line. You’re happy. You deserve that. I don’t want to come between you and Thor. I hope you can forgive me._

It was the one thing Steve was holding on to. The chance to tell Bucky that it was all right. That Steve forgave him, that he… loved Bucky. He tried not to think about Bucky never waking up, never being able to tell him. He had to. He had to.

Steve hadn’t left the room except to use the bathroom since they arrived. Thor hadn’t left either. Steve was grateful for his presence, even if he couldn’t outwardly show it. Bucky’s mother had taken her daughter home for the night and said she would return as soon as possible. Steve still wasn’t sure what he would do. He wanted to stay the night, but officially, only family members could do so. He loved Bucky, but that wasn’t enough. He rested his forehead against his folded hands. He held a rosary in them. He couldn’t even remember how to do a rosary or how to pray, but he clung to the beads like they were a tether between him and Bucky.

Thor hadn’t brought up the rosary. Maybe he didn’t even know what it was. He had grown up pagan, after all. He might not be familiar at all with Catholic Christian tradition. Steve barely knew anything. He did, however, whisper a prayer of his own to a god Steve didn’t recognize. Steve had smiled his thanks and returned his attention to Bucky, continuing his vigil.

Just then his mother came into the room. She seemed harried. It was her shift, after all. Her son hadn’t been injured, so she was not exempt from her duties. She must be on her break. She came to sit beside him and looked at the rosary. She made the sign of the cross and took his hand. He had remembered that much. 

“Do you remember how to do it?” she asked. Steve shook his head. She took out her own rosary. Steve didn’t realize that she still had one. “I do them sometimes during a difficult shift.”

She pointed at the cross at the bottom of the necklace. “Say the Apostles’ Creed here and the Our Father at the first big bead,” she explained. “Every small bead is a Hail Mary. The chains are Glory Be’s.”

There was something about mysteries or something that went right over Steve’s head. He barely remembered anything from the Bible from Sunday School. He stuck with the prayers he knew, though, once his mom was able to fill in the gaps of the ones he sort of knew. Once she was finished she was silent for a while.

“Do you want to go to school tomorrow?” she asked. Steve shrugged. “It’s okay if you don’t. I can call the school and say that you’re sick or that there was a family emergency.”

“Well, it was certainly an emergency,” Steve deadpanned. He didn’t trust himself not to break down again if he said it any other way. Thankfully, neither his mom nor his boyfriend commented.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” she said quietly. Steve huffed. “It’s not,” she insisted. “Whatever you think, nothing that happened to Bucky was your doing unless you were the one driving the car that hit him.”

Steve didn’t say or do anything. His mom took his head and brought it to rest over her chest. Steve realized that he was crying silently. She rocked him back and forth softly.

“He told me he loved me,” he croaked. She didn’t say anything. “I yelled at him. I asked what was wrong with him. I said he was just my friend. I’m such a god damn fool.”

“Did you mean it?” she asked. 

“No,” he said immediately. “I… I...”

“I know, sweetie,” she said.

“I love him, mom,” he cried. Thor took his hand and squeezed it gently. “I love them both.”

“I know, honey,” she whispered against his hair. 

“Tell me he’s going to get better,” he begged.

“He is,” she promised.

Just then, Bucky began to stir. A miracle happened next, or what seemed to be a miracle, to Steve’s mind. Bucky groaned. 

Steve shot forward and took Bucky’s hand as his monitor began to show signs of consciousness. Bucky gripped Steve’s hand weakly as his eyes began to flutter open. Bucky looked around anxiously at the surroundings. Then he looked at Steve, his smiling face and his eyes full of tears. He blinked a couple times, a bit dazed. 

“Where am I?” he asked. Steve’s mom was busy finagling with the machine, checking Bucky’s vitals.

“You’re in the hospital,” Steve said. “You were in a car accident. Do you remember what happened?”

“I remember… a text,” Bucky said. “Then, lights. Nothing after that.”

“You’re banged up pretty badly,” Steve continued. “Your left arm is broken. A few cracked ribs, a couple broken ones.”

Bucky’s eyebrows rose and he tried to sit up before he hissed in pain. Steve’s mom held him gently but firmly to the bed. She wordlessly pressed a remote into Bucky’s right hand. Bucky adjusted the bed so that he was sitting up.

“How long do I gotta stay here?” he asked. 

“I paged the doctor,” Steve’s mom said. “He’ll be able to tell you. I can tell you that it will be a few days, though. And your recovery will take a few months even after your cast comes off.”

Bucky looked down at his left arm for the first time. Nearly the entire thing was covered in a red cast. Someone must have provided whoever cast it with Bucky’s favorite color. He looked at it, completely baffled for a moment. 

“Please tell me there’s gonna be a neat scar,” he said after a moment. 

Steve laughed in spite of himself. His mom laughed too. Steve thought he might fly away from the relief flooding his brain. He even forgot to feel guilty. Even Thor chuckled at the remark, and he was trying to stay as out of the way as possible. 

“Steve?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, Buck?” Steve replied.

“I need to use the bathroom,” he said. Steve blushed and jumped away.

“Yeah, right, of course,” he said. Bucky groaned as he slowly, carefully, maneuvered his legs over the edge of the bed with some help from Steve’s mom. He was a bit shaky on standing, but aside from some soreness in his legs, there wasn’t any major damage to them, thank goodness. He hobbled over to the bathroom with the IV contraption. Steve sat back down on the seat next to Thor and rested his head against Thor’s chest. He suddenly felt very tired. Drained. 

“Do you still want to stay, honey?” his mother asked. Steve thought for a moment through the fog of his wearied mind. 

“Stevie!” came a shout from the bathroom. “You better not be hanging around me cause you feel guilty!”

Steve blushed again. “Uh, no?” he replied.

“Good, cause you look awful and you should go home,” Bucky shouted from the bathroom. “You can come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you all the exciting gossip I got from the nurses. I’ll even give you the shitty hospital jello.”

Steve huffed. “Well that answers that question,” he said. 

“Like I said,” his mom continued. “Let me know if you need to stay home tomorrow. I can call the school.”

Steve looked to his boyfriend, a plea he couldn’t articulate in his eyes. Thor nodded.

“I will stay with you, if you need me to,” he murmured. “Just say the word.”

“Please stay,” Steve whispered. “And thank you.”

Thor kissed his temple. “Let’s go home. We will return tomorrow.”

Thor had to wake him up when the cab rolled in front of the Odinson residence. He managed to remain awake long enough to get them into the house. Frigga greeted them at the door, apparently surprised to find them here so late. 

“Is everything all right, Steve?” she asked. Steve sighed. 

“Bucky was in a car accident,” Thor explained. “We have spent most of the day at the hospital.”

Through some miracle, or perhaps years of practice as a diplomat’s wife, Frigga’s face remained neutral, however, she embraced Steve gently. Steve returned it weakly. He felt utterly wrung out and as much as he loved Thor’s mom, he really just wanted to sleep. 

“You are welcome to stay here as long as you like,” she whispered. “Anything you need, you need only ask.”

Steve nodded in understanding. “Thank you, Frigga,” he mumbled. She stepped away.

“You must be exhausted,” she said. “To bed with you both.”

Steve could only comply as he followed Thor up the stairs to his room. He managed to remain awake long enough to go through his evening ablutions and change into the clean set of sleep clothes that Thor’s family kept on hand nowadays before he collapsed onto Thor’s big, luxurious bed. He curled into Thor’s warmth and let the soft blankets and Thor’s comforting embrace lull him into a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	44. Reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning is briefly NSFW

Steve didn’t stir from his sleep at all when morning came. Thor was hardly surprised. He had seen his lover have panic attacks, seen the fear in his eyes and the raw emotional state they sometimes left him in. But Thor had never seen Steve so wrung out. Thor left him only briefly to use the bathroom, but when he returned, Steve had rolled over, sprawled out on the bed and clutching one of Thor’s pillows. He smiled at the sight before he got back into bed and wrapped himself around his lover protectively. 

Yesterday had been one of the hardest days Thor had experienced. He had wanted nothing more than to fix it, as usual, but as always, the things that needed healing in Steve’s life could not be healed by mere willpower. And of course, seeing Bucky’s strong, youthful body lie battered and bruised on a hospital bed had been surreal. Even when he woke up later, it was strange. Bucky had played it off as being not a big deal and asking about a scar. They would probably still be at the hospital if it hadn’t been for Bucky sending them away to get some sleep. 

Eventually, Steve did stir. He pressed his face into the pillows beneath them and sighed. Thor gently kissed the back of his head. 

“How are you feeling?” Thor asked. Steve groaned. 

“I’m still so tired,” he replied. “What time is it?”

“It is 11 in the morning,” Thor informed him. “We got back sometime after midnight.”

Steve groaned again. Then he got up and went to the bathroom. He took a while. Thor imagined that he was both in the process of waking up and processing yesterday’s events. He was starting to get worried when the toilet flushed one last time and the sound of the sink came through the door as Steve washed his hands. When Steve emerged he came back to the bed and kissed him. It was desperate and needy and Thor wrapped his arms around his lover’s smaller frame and held him tightly against him, as if doing so could protect him, at least for a short while, from the outside world. When Steve broke the kiss, his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

“What do we do?” he asked. Thor didn’t have to ask what he meant. He knew.

“We take it one day at a time, my love,” Thor whispered. “Together. And if you still want to, we ask Bucky about it after he’s out of the hospital.”

Steve closed his eyes and rested his head against Thor’s. Thor kissed him tenderly, trying to pour all the love he had for this man into him. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Steve whispered. “Either of you.”

It was slightly annoying, but Thor didn’t let it show. “Steve, _älskling_ , if I could make you know how much I love you, I would,” he whispered. “You deserve so much more than what the universe has given you in life.”

“Show me,” Steve whispered. “Please.”

Thor realized then what Steve was doing. Cleaning. Thor kissed his lover softly as he moved to hover over him, covering his body with his own as he came awake for him. Steve wrapped his legs around his waist and brought him closer as he deepened the kiss. Steve’s hands roamed over his body and Thor hummed appreciatively as they made their way up to tangle in his hair, pulling slightly. 

“Steve, my Steve,” Thor murmured against his lips. “It is my honor and my joy to care for you.”

Steve whimpered against him as Thor trailed kisses, sweet and tender down his body. Thor lingered over every place Steve loved. His neck, his collarbone, his nipples. Thor’s hands traveled down Steve’s body to knead his ass gently before continuing to caress the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. Steve shivered and whined beneath him. Steve’s cock was straining at the cloth confines of his pajama pants. Thor pulled the pants down and his thick, gorgeous cock sprang free. Thor gave a few lazy strokes and Steve moaned softly at the touch. 

“Pass me the lube, love,” Thor asked. Steve rolled over and fished in the drawer of the nightstand and handed him the bottle. Thor kneeled over him and shifted his boyfriend so that he had easier access to his hole and rubbed a finger over his hole.

“You tease,” Steve gasped. Thor smiled and leaned down to kiss him. He kept teasing his hole, brushing his slick finger over the opening, sometimes pressing against him, but never breaching the tight ring of muscle. Steve whined into his mouth. “Thor, Thor please,” he begged. 

“In a moment, love,” Thor murmured against his mouth. “Let me pleasure you.”

Thor moved his mouth back down Steve’s body, lingering to press kisses to every part he could think of, showering his lover’s body with whatever praise Thor’s body was capable of. He paused briefly enough to fish a flavored condom and a regular condom out of the nightstand and resumed his journey down Steve’s body.

Finally he reached his prize, Steve’s cock standing thick and proud over a nest of blond hairs. The cock was as red as the rest of Steve’s body and Thor looked hungrily upon it as it leaked a few drops of pre-cum. Thor unwrapped the flavored condom and wrapped it over Steve’s cock and looked into his lover’s eyes as he lowered his mouth onto his aching member. Steve moaned loudly and bucked up into Thor’s mouth. Thor merely moaned around the head of Steve’s cock and descended again until he had taken his lover’s member to the root and swallowed the head. 

Thor began to bob eagerly on Steve’s member, staring up into his lover’s eyes. They were nearly black with arousal and the blush in his face had taken over his entire body, turning it hot and pink. Thor briefly popped off Steve’s cock and breathed.

“You are so beautiful like this,” Thor whispered, kissing the thick head of his member before licking up his length. As Thor resumed sucking Steve’s cock, he pressed a lubed finger to his lover’s hole. This time, he breached the hot, tight ring of muscle and Steve moaned again as he bucked up into Thor’s willing mouth. Thor fucked him slowly with the single finger for a short time before he added a second and began stretching his lover. Steve writhed beneath him and Thor smirked around his lover’s member, meeting Steve’s eyes as he did so.

“Cocky bastard,” Steve moaned. Thor just hummed around Steve’s member and curled his fingers to rub against his lover’s prostate. Steve moaned loudly again and bucked into Thor’s mouth. Thor began to scissor his fingers, stretching Steve’s hole to prepare him for his cock. Aside from the act of making love itself, this was his favorite part of sex with Steve. Watching him, making him squirm beneath him, his face consumed with bliss and pleasure and knowing that Thor was the reason why he felt so amazing. 

Thor inserted a third finger and grinned around his lover as Steve released a hissing moan as his hole was stretched. Thor began fucking his lover’s ass in earnest, brushing over Steve’s prostate with every thrust of his fingers. Thor popped briefly off Steve’s cock to kiss and bite the inside of his thighs, the way he knew would drive his lover wild. 

“Please Thor, I need it,” Steve begged. He was arching off the bed now, desperately trying to get Thor’s fingers to go deeper inside him. He gave a wanton moan.

“What do you need, _älskling_?” Thor asked. He knew very well, of course, what Steve needed. But he enjoyed making his pretty, stunning boyfriend beg. 

“I need you inside me, Thor,” Steve whined.

“But I am inside you,” Thor replied innocently. Or, as innocent as he could be while he was fucking his lover with his fingers. He brushed his fingers over Steve’s prostate for emphasis. “See? How could I do that if I weren’t inside you?”

“I want your dick inside me!” Steve begged loudly. Thor chuckled.

“Do you want my dick inside you or do you need it?” Thor teased with a chuckle. “Those are two different things, my love.”

“I fucking hate you,” Steve growled. The effect was ruined when Thor’s fingers brushed over his prostate again, making Steve arch off the bed with a loud moan. “Please, please, please, Thor. Make love to me.”

Thor grinned and removed his fingers from Steve’s ass. His lover whined at the loss and Thor crept up his body to capture his lips in a gentle, but passionate kiss. 

“With pleasure,” he purred against his lover’s lips. He shucked his pants to the floor and sighed contentedly as his dick was freed. He wrapped it in the other condom and lubed himself up before he pressed himself to Steve’s hole. A moment later he pushed in and the thick head of his cock breached his lover. Steve wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and moaned into the kiss as Thor pushed in, inch by glorious inch. He stopped himself at where Steve had stopped him last time. 

In the four weeks that had passed since Valentine’s day, they had slowly managed to get Steve more accustomed to Thor’s size without hurting him. Their last time together, Steve had stopped him when Thor had had but one more inch left to go. Thor stopped their this time and looked down at his lover. Steve was breathing deeply, adjusting to Thor’s length. Steve nodded and Thor pressed forward until finally, he bottomed out. Steve moaned as he panted, adjusting to Thor’s size, fully inside him for the first time. Then he smiled and Thor leaned down to kiss him gently. 

“I did it,” he breathed.

“I knew you could,” Thor murmured. He began to rock into Steve’s tight heat, savoring the feeling of Steve’s ass around him as he buried himself to the hilt. Steve arched off the bed as Thor’s cock hit his prostate, pressing his body against Thor’s. Thor groaned and pressed his lips to Steve’s hungrily. Thor slowly began to pick up the pace, fucking into his boyfriend with more gusto. Steve gave a shuddering moan into Thor’s mouth. Thor could feel Steve’s blunt nails digging into his back with light, wonderful pain as his lover clung to him. 

“Faster,” Steve gasped. Thor growled as he complied, snapping his hips into his lover. Steve made the most wonderful sounds when he was being fucked. There were times when Thor wondered why they didn’t do this sooner. Then he remembered that Steve hadn’t been ready to go that far. But gods, if he didn’t think that the wait was worth it just to hear the kinds of beautiful, filthy sounds coming out of his lover’s mouth. The best were when Thor managed to get his lover so far gone that he shouted. It made him feel smug to think about it. 

Thor reached between them and began stroking Steve’s cock. He felt Steve start to tighten sinfully around him. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, fucking into Steve’s tight heat, feeling the walls constrict around him as Steve grew close. Thor could feel his climax building and he fucked into his lover even faster. Steve clung to him and whimpered.

“Jesus, Thor I’m close,” Steve mewled into his ear. Thor tightened his grip around Steve’s cock.

“Come for me, _älskling_ ,” he grunted. Steve shouted as his climax hit him, filling the condom with his come. He tightened around Thor’s cock and Thor fucked Steve through his orgasm. Not long after, Thor thrust hard inside his lover and he came with a groan, fucking his lover through his own orgasm until he was spent. Thor slumped over Steve and kissed him tenderly before reaching down to take Steve’s condom off and toss it in the trash. He slowly, reluctantly pulled his now flaccid cock out of Steve’s ass and did the same to him. Steve made a faint moan of protest. 

“Thank you,” Steve murmured. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I know, _älskling_ ,” Thor whispered, kissing him again. “I love you, too. 

Steve sighed into the kiss before Thor flopped down on the bed beside him. It was good, better than good, that Thor was able to make him feel even a little bit better about this situation. He hoped it would last.

* * *

They arrived at the hospital during the early afternoon after Mr. Baker took them back to Steve’s house and insisted that he absolutely could not go to the hospital in the same clothes he’d had yesterday. Steve figured he had a point. He had had a panic attack yesterday and the clothes smelled a bit rank from the sweat of that episode. 

Bucky was awake this time, and seemed to be suffering from a case of familial religiosity. Specifically, his mother was reading the Bible to him. Out loud. Probably trying to make up for all the devotions Bucky had missed over the years. Winifred Barnes didn’t look up as they entered, but Bucky looked over like both of them were the second coming of Jesus. 

“Help me,” he mouthed. 

Steve looked up at Thor, who had also caught the message, thankfully. He walked up to Mrs. Barnes.

“Mrs. Barnes, I don’t believe we have met,” Thor said politely, with every bit of tact and grace learned from his many years growing up with diplomats. “I am Thor Odinson. I was on the football team with your son when he was in high school.”

Winifred blinked, a bit shocked to be interrupted in her devotional. “Hello,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for coming to see him. I know that he appreciates having someone here.”

That pause was apparently all Bucky needed to make his move. “Hey mom, I’m feeling a bit hungry, could you get me some lunch?”

“Oh, of course Bucky,” she said. “How silly of me. Here you are listening to me go on and on and you just listened while you were hungry, poor dear. Why didn’t you say anything?”

She kept chattering away as she walked out the door and down the hall, apparently oblivious that her son wasn’t following her. But of course, he couldn’t, not until he was cleared to leave. At least today the nurses seemed to have taken out his IV. They must have determined that he didn’t need it anymore now that he was conscious. 

“Well, that was… interesting,” Bucky said. “Thanks for the save.”

“No problem,” Thor replied. “I was going to go with her to see if she needed someone to talk to, but I believe she will have no problem with that.”

“She never does,” Bucky replied with a long suffering sigh. 

“How you doing, Buck?” Steve asked. “Have they said when you can leave?” 

“They did a scan of my head since I was out for so long,” Bucky said. “That was cool. They couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Got a mild concussion though, so that’s gonna be fun.”

Steve winced. “That sucks.”

“Yeah, but they said that as long as their other tests don’t come up with anything worrying, I’ll be able to leave in a couple days.”

“Great news, then!” Thor said happily. 

“Yeah,” Bucky replied. He looked down sheepishly. “Anyway, Thor, could you give me a moment alone with Steve?” 

“Of course,” Thor said immediately. He walked out the room. Bucky had difficulty meeting Steve’s eyes.

“Look, about what happened the other day,” Bucky said. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“I got your text,” Steve said. 

“Yeah, but… I’d like to say it out loud,” Bucky replied. “Anyway, I’m sorry for trying to come between you and Thor. It won’t happen again.”

Steve wasn’t sure what to say. This wasn’t exactly something unexpected. However, he did take Bucky’s hand and squeezed it. 

“It’s all right, Buck,” he said at last. “I understand. I’m sorry for overreacting the way I did.”

Bucky blinked. “That… was not what I was expecting,” he said. “You’re really not mad that I… kissed you.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m just sorry that this happened,” Steve said. “If I had been with you…”

“You would be in another room here, and you could be in worse condition than I am,” Bucky said sternly. “You know how I feel about you, Stevie. Don’t think for a second that I would have ever wanted you to be here with me like this.”

Bucky squeezed his hand as tightly as he could. His grip was still a bit weaker than it would have been normally, but it was still comforting. 

“Look at us,” Steve said. “Here I am trying to comfort you and you’re comforting me.” 

"Well, you _are_ a bit of a hot mess," Bucky teased with a grin. 

"Says the guy with a broken arm," Steve shot back. 

They laughed at that for a while. Steve looked at him and for the first time in days, there was a sense of that old camaraderie that had been there since they were only boys.

“Do you remember that time when I slept over at your house and the next day your mom dragged us to church?” Steve asked.

“Which?” Bucky asked with a grin. “The time we snuck out in the middle of the service to goof off on the playground or the time she caught us doodling in the bibles?” 

“I didn’t sneak out,” Steve protested with a grin. “You dragged me along.”

“I don’t remember you needing much convincing,” Bucky replied. 

“I was trying to be a good example,” Steve sniffed. “Everyone knows that you’re supposed to be quiet in church.”

“Do you remember her face when she found us playing in the mulch in our good Sunday clothes?” Bucky replied, laughing. 

“That was the most terrifying expression I’ve ever seen your mother make,” Steve laughed. “I was sure that she was going to kill you.”

“If those stains hadn’t come out she probably would have!”

They laughed together for a while after that. 

“Why did we ever grow up, Stevie?” Bucky asked. “We should have just stayed that way.”

“I don’t know about you, Buck,” Steve said seriously. “But I’m glad we did. If we stayed that way, Joe would still be alive.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Bucky said. “Sorry.”

“You need to stop apologizing,” Steve said. “Stop beating yourself up, Buck.”

Bucky looked at him for a long time, then took his hand out of Steve’s. He nodded and Steve felt a little bit of relief at the gesture. 

“Well,” Bucky said. “It looks like I’ll be in town for a while. Doctor says that my recovery will take too long for me to return to school.”

“Yeah, mom told us,” Steve said. Bucky looked at him with confusion for a moment. “You were unconscious.”

“Right, yeah, forgot about that,” Bucky replied. “Well, I guess that puts off my college plans for a while.”

“You’ll get back to it,” Steve assured him. “You know, once you’ve recovered.”

“Thanks,” Bucky replied. “Hey do you mind picking me to take me home on Thursday? My mom has a shift and my dad is out of town.”

“Your dad went out of town for business while you were in the hospital?” Steve asked, perplexed. 

“No, Stevie, he left on Saturday,” Bucky said. “He was going to come home if I didn’t wake up, but I did, so mom told him to stay.”

Steve sighed. He didn’t understand this family. “Yeah, we can pick you up on Thursday.”

“‘We’?” Bucky asked. 

“Well, mom works on Thursday, too, so unless you’re feeling up to getting on the Metro, someone needs to drive us,” Steve said. “So that leaves Thor’s butler. Or Frigga.”

“Right, fine that makes sense,” Bucky said. “Oh, go get your boyfriend. I think he should be able to come in now.”

Steve opened the door to find his boyfriend guarding it rather than simply waiting outside. 

“I think the nurses are fine, babe,” Steve said. “You can stop glaring at them.”

“I am merely ensuring your privacy, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied. “Did you have a productive discussion?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “By the way, we’re picking him up on Thursday, can you let Mr. Baker know?”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	45. Ace of Cups (New Love, Relationships)

Bucky had thought during his freshman history class last semester that nothing could be more boring than listening to a lecture by that particularly dusty Graduate Assistant. He was unbelievably wrong. Sitting around in a hospital with a broken arm was the most boring thing he could do. By far. 

His sister had brought him books, but trying to read when he only really had use of one hand was terrible. Besides, he wasn’t really much of a reader. He had a 3DS and a Fire Emblem game and he was able to play without suffering any negative effects from his concussion. But after a while, being cooped up, even with something to occupy his mind when he wasn’t sleeping was starting to get to him. Every now and then a nurse or a doctor or his mom or Steve’s mom checked up on him, but none of them could tell him anything beyond “nothing concerning came up on your tests, you’ll be able to leave soon.”

If he heard those words one more time, he was going to run out of this god damned hospital naked as the day he was born. Thankfully, Steve and Thor were supposed to arrive soon. It was almost 4:00 in the afternoon. They would be out of school for nearly an hour, now. With any luck they would get here soon and get him out of this lousy place. 

Sure enough, a few minutes after 4:00, Steve, Thor, and Mr. Baker walked into his room with a change of clothes. Bucky felt like he could kiss them. Well, Steve and Thor anyway. Mr. Baker… not so much. He stopped himself, though. The last thing they needed was for him to make things awkward between them again. He could admit that both Steve and Thor were attractive. If they weren’t together (and had he known that Thor swung his way a year ago) he might have done something. 

_Who are you kidding, Barnes?_ he thought bitterly. _Steve was single literally the entire time you knew him before you left and you never said anything._

“Thanks guys,” he said. He went into the bathroom to change. He was still getting the hang of putting his shirt on with the arm in a cast like this. It was awkward, to say the least. At least they brought sweatpants. He wasn’t in the mood to wrestle with buttons and zippers with one hand yet. It was going to be a long few months until the cast came off. He emerged a few minutes later. “Let’s blow this joint.”

* * *

Bucky had the feeling that there was going to be a major conversation between him, Steve, and Thor in the very near future. Steve was a lousy actor. As much as he tried to play it smooth and be chill, Bucky could tell that he was psyching himself up for something. Thor was a little bit more subtle about it, shockingly enough. 

It felt like the longest car ride in his life. It was a nice car ride, sure, but still. When they finally arrived at Steve’s apartment building, everyone was strangely quiet. Thor and Steve immediately sat in the living room while Mr. Baker went to the kitchen and began inspecting what was there to work with.

“Sarah requested that I ensure that the three of you eat,” Mr. Baker informed them.

“Thanks, Mr. Baker,” Steve said. The three of them sat together awkwardly. 

“So,” Bucky drew out. “Great weather we’re having lately.”

Steve chuckled nervously.

“You know, if you wanted to talk about the kiss,” Bucky continued, looking at the floor. “You didn’t have to bring Thor. You could have just told him.”

“He did tell me, Bucky,” Thor said. “I do not mind. That is not what we wish to discuss with you.”

Bucky stared between them. “Okay,” he replied. “So what’s this about?”

Steve took his hand, the hand that wasn’t wrapped in the cast, anyway. “What you said that day,” Steve murmured. “You still mean that, right?”

Bucky stared at him, utterly baffled now. “Of course I do,” he replied. He couldn’t help looking at Thor, who kept his face neutral, but took Steve’s other hand. 

“It made me think,” Steve said. “You’ve been my friend for longer than I’ve known anyone else. But…”

“It’s okay, Steve, we don’t need to rehash what happened,” Bucky said.

“Buck, just shut up,” Steve ground out. Bucky’s eyebrows rose, but he shut his mouth. This was uncharacteristically bold of him. Steve took a deep breath. “When you… kissed me last week, when you said that you love me… I didn’t know how to feel about it.”

Bucky just listened. It took a lot of effort to resist the urge to say something to stop him from going on. He was a little bit terrified of where this was going. He didn’t dare interrupt him, though. 

“But then Thor talked to me about what happened and…” Steve continued. “And he helped me realize… that I love you, too.”

Bucky’s eyes widened so much that he thought they might fall out of his head. He looked between Steve and Thor. Thor, shockingly, didn’t look put out by this information. Actually, he smiled at Bucky. It was strange, they didn’t act like they were breaking up. Hell, he’d seen them kiss when they visited at the hospital on occasion. Nothing major, mostly stuff like kisses on the cheek or something. He had tried, with limited success, not to feel jealous. He knew for a fact that they were still together, that Steve hadn’t broken up with his boyfriend. So what was he getting at?

“I love you, Bucky,” Steve repeated, smiling. “And I still love Thor.”

“So… what are you getting at?” Bucky asked warily. “I mean, you don’t have to say all this just to tell me that we’re not going to be a thing.”

“Bucky, you’re an idiot,” Steve groaned. Steve let go of his hand and grabbed his face and pressed a kiss to his lips. Bucky moaned in surprise. Steve was kissing him. Bucky closed his eyes and returned the kiss. If this was a fever dream, if this was heaven where he was getting his most earnest wish, if this was hell where he was being tortured with his greatest desire, he didn’t know. Whatever it was, he would take it.

Steve’s lips were soft, enticing, and experienced. Logically, Bucky knew that it was from Thor. But at the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to think of anything but Steve and the lips that were kissing his own. His heart was racing, he felt flushed. Steve’s hand moved from Bucky’s face, where he had fisted a handful of Bucky’s hair, and moved down his face, to the stubble that had grown from spending most of the past week in the hospital. 

Steve finally broke contact. Bucky opened his eyes and breathed. He looked at Thor hesitantly, expecting a look like a thundercloud. Instead, he was smiling. He seemed pleased that his boyfriend had openly kissed Bucky right in front of him. 

“This is a dream,” Bucky whispered. “This has to be a dream.”

Steve smiled. “It’s not,” he whispered. “I love you, Buck. I want to be with you. If you’ll have me.”

Bucky looked between Steve and his boyfriend. “What about Thor?” 

Thor finally spoke for the first time in a while. “That is what we want to discuss with you, Bucky.”

Bucky looked at Steve. Steve smiled nervously at him. “I love you,” he said. “And I love Thor. We talked about it, and we were wondering if you wanted to… be in a relationship with us.”

Bucky’s eyebrows rose again. “A polyamorous relationship?” he asked. “You want a polyamorous relationship?”

Steve looked down sheepishly. “Yeah.”

Bucky looked back to Thor. “And you’re really okay with this?” he asked. “Sharing Steve with me?”

“It was my idea,” Thor confessed. “I want him to be happy.”

“And what about you and me?” Bucky asked. “What will we be?”

“I did have a crush on you, Bucky,” Thor replied with a smile. “I would be willing to give us a try if you are.”

This was starting to seem strange enough to be real. There was no way his brain could come up with this kind of thing, even if he was sleeping. Steve was beautiful and handsome. Thor was beautiful and handsome. And both of them were interested in him. It seemed too good to be true, and yet… Bucky found himself wanting it. 

“Well,” he said. “I can’t say that I know how any of this will work or that I’ll know what the hell I’m doing, but… I’m willing to give it a shot.”

Steve’s face lit up and he released a relieved breath. 

“Really? You’ll do it?” he asked. 

“Steve, I’m willing to try it. For you,” Bucky whispered. He leaned in experimentally. This time, Steve didn’t pull away as Bucky pressed a kiss to his lips. It didn’t last as long, but Bucky’s heart sang as he felt Steve smile against him. It wasn’t how he ever envisioned getting with him. It always seemed more… romantic in his mind. And it was usually Bucky doing something and asking Steve to be his boyfriend. Never in a million years did he ever expect Steve to ask him, let alone ask him to be in a poly relationship. But for Steve, Bucky would try anything.

He pulled away and yawned. Steve chuckled and squeezed his hand.

“Get some rest,” he said. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

Bucky smiled and nodded, laying his head back on the couch and falling easily into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The first thing Bucky realized when he came to was that he was lying on his side. His right side. He definitely did not remember doing that when he fell asleep. He must have fallen over during his nap. Thankfully, he somehow fell on the side that wasn’t broken. 

The second thing he noticed was that his head was propped up on something hard. He could feel the texture of denim. Whoever it was, they were wearing jeans. He tried to think back to what Steve had been wearing. Bucky was pretty sure that he had been wearing khakis. He could have been wrong, though. It was difficult to concentrate sometimes. 

He breathed in. He smelled wood smoke and pine. That was odd, if he was resting on Steve’s legs. Steve smelled like apples and cinnamon. He opened his eyes. There was an arm draped over his side that was definitely too big and muscular to be Steve’s.

_Thor_ , Bucky realized. He rolled over and looked up. There was a book. Thor closed it and smiled down at Bucky. 

“You’re awake,” Thor rumbled. 

“Where’s Steve?” Bucky asked. 

“He is assisting Mr. Baker with tonight’s dinner,” Thor explained. “I believe he wishes to get to know him better, since Mr. Baker is dating Steve’s mother.”

“Makes sense,” Bucky murmured. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“We’re both Steve’s boyfriends now,” Bucky said. He swallowed. “What does that make us? Are we boyfriends?”

Thor was quiet for a moment. “We can be, if you want,” he answered. “I think Steve would like that. I would like it as well, to be honest. But it is your choice.”

“I don’t know what to think about this yet,” Bucky admitted. “I never expected my best friend and the hottest guy in school to come to me with this.”

Thor actually blushed at that. “I do not know about that,” he demurred. Bucky raised an eyebrow up at him. “You are not exactly bad looking yourself, you know.”

That comment made Bucky’s brain stop working. Thor laid his hand down and began to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair. 

“You do not have to have an answer today,” Thor said softly. “Just know where we stand, in case you are interested.”

Bucky was becoming… uncomfortable. Not because of his position with Thor. It felt nice, this laying in his lap and having his hair petted. But it felt so… intimate. It frightened him. He spent so long just having sex, he didn’t know what to do here. He felt so vulnerable. He turned his head and brought it away from Thor’s hand. If Thor was disappointed, he did not show it. Of course, Bucky didn’t really look. He sat up, too quickly. He hissed as his ribs protested. 

“Careful,” Thor warned. 

“I’m fine, I can handle it,” Bucky replied through gritted teeth. “This isn’t the first time I’ve cracked or broken ribs.”

“I do not doubt it,” Thor replied. “Just take it easy, all right?”

Bucky looked at Thor. He seemed… tired. Perhaps a little wounded. Bucky felt guilt rise in him. Why couldn’t he just accept that Thor was trying to help? 

_I don’t want to think about this now_ , he thought and got up to head to the kitchen, leaving Thor alone in the living room. He shoved down the guilt. _He’s a grown man he doesn’t need people around him all the time._

He walked over to the kitchen, where he could hear Mr. Baker and Steve chatting away. Steve looked at him with a note of exasperation. Bucky swallowed. It wasn’t that big an apartment. Steve probably overheard them.

“Good morning,” he said with a smile. It seemed a bit forced but Bucky didn’t say anything about it.

“Hey punk,” he replied. It was almost weird saying that now. This entire situation was… weird. If he was just having sex with Steve, he would be fine. This whole dating thing, relationships and kissing and waiting to go on dates before the sex… Bucky wasn’t sure what to do at all. He found himself wishing that he had thought to actually try going on dates before now. 

“Sleep well?” Steve asked. 

“It was fine. Smells great in here.” They were quiet for a while after that. Then, as if Mr. Baker picked up on some unknown clue, he left, leaving Steve and Bucky to talk alone in the kitchen. Steve went to a pan that was cooking chicken and dumped a bowl of onions and mushrooms into it and stirred them around.

“He’s just trying to help, you know,” Steve said quietly. “He likes taking care of people.”

Bucky hung his head. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I know it’s weird,” Steve continued. “Hell, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I never imagined having one boyfriend before a few months ago, let alone two.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Bucky said. “The way you two were acting, I felt like I was the only one who wasn’t really sure about what all was going on.”

“I was trying not to panic when I kissed you, to be honest,” Steve confessed with a smile. “I want to make this work, Buck.”

“I know you do, Stevie,” Bucky murmured. “I’m sorry.”

“We can’t do that if we can’t be honest about what we’re feeling,” Steve continued. He washed his hands quickly and came back over. He laid a hand on Bucky’s cheek. Bucky closed his eyes. “I know you’re scared, Buck. Trust me, I’m scared, too. You’re not alone in this.”

Bucky swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Thanks. I’ll… I’ll try,” he promised.

“I know. That’s all I ask,” Steve got up to press a gentle kiss to Bucky’s lips. “Now get out. I have this under control.”

Bucky chuckled and returned to the living room, which was really only a short distance away. It wasn’t surprising that Steve overheard them. He tried, perhaps futilely, to hide from Thor’s gaze. Thor looked at him, then did the most terrible thing. He smiled. Bucky swallowed. He was expecting anger, annoyance, something. But Thor was kind. Gracious. Bucky didn’t know what to do with that. He grew up with Baptists. This whole forgiveness thing was strange to him.

“Hey, Mr. Baker. Could you… give us a minute?” he asked. He hated that his voice sounded shaky and uncertain. 

“Certainly, sir. I will get back to the dinner preparations.”

Bucky sat down on the other end of the couch next to Thor. With some measure of difficulty, he managed to meet the Swedish man’s eyes. 

“I’m… sorry. About just now,” Bucky said. “You were just trying to be helpful.”

Thor didn’t say anything. He smiled gently. 

“I don’t mean this as an excuse,” Bucky continued, “but I’ve never really done… anything like this before. Dating, relationships, you know.”

“Truly?” Thor replied. He seemed genuinely surprised. “I would not have guessed.”

“Steve was the only person I was ever really interested in,” Bucky continued. “I had crushes on other people, but I always loved him. And it never seemed… fair, I guess, to try and date other people.”

“I can understand that,” Thor replied. 

“So… I’m sorry for biting your head off,” Bucky said. 

“Thank you,” Thor replied softly. “I accept your apology.”

“I don’t really know what I’m doing here,” Bucky admitted. “But I’ll try to do better. You deserve that much.”

“We can take it slow, if you want,” Thor said. “It’s a lot to process. A lot has happened recently. I do not blame you if you feel overwhelmed.”

Bucky smiled shyly at the other man. “Thanks. I think I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Random tidbit, the Ace of Cups is one of my favorite tarot cards. 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	46. The Hanged Man (Being Stuck, Crossroads)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW.

Two weeks later, and they were still struggling to adjust. Bucky was still trying to get the hang of doing things with one arm. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he didn’t have a giant, useless cast over one of his arms. Intellectually, he knew that it was necessary to help heal his broken bones. Personally, he wondered if it would have been easier to cut the whole thing off. 

He hung out with Thor and Steve a lot, like people did when they were in relationships. He kissed Steve whenever he could. Steve was a good kisser. But for some reason, he was struggling with Thor. Whenever he was with Steve, even if they were just hanging out and watching tv, when Thor entered the room Bucky started feeling jealous and possessive. He couldn’t help it. It just happened. 

The problem was that he liked Thor. He did. His relationship with Thor was just a bit more complicated. He veered between liking him when they were alone and being territorial when Steve was around. Bucky knew that Thor knew what was happening. In the past couple weeks, though, their relationship had started going downhill. They would glare at each other, give each other wide berths, avoid being in the same room at the same time.

Bucky wondered just how long it would last before they reached a breaking point. He sighed in resignation. He should have known this was doomed from the start. There would be no way Steve would choose Bucky over Thor, either. Bucky would just have to enjoy it while he could.

* * *

Steve was almost to the point of pulling hair. He had known that this would be a challenge, he wasn’t stupid. He and Thor had talked about it at great length while Bucky was in the hospital. They were on the same page. The problem was that his boyfriends didn’t seem to be on the same page with each other. 

It wasn’t Thor’s fault. Bucky was being… clingy. Possessive, even. When they were alone together, it was fine, but as soon as Thor walked into the room or his name was brought up or even when Steve had told Bucky that he was going on a date with him last week, Bucky got… territorial. Steve tried to be understanding, but he was tired of feeling like he was in No-Man’s Land whenever he was hanging out with his boyfriends. 

He needed a solution. So on Saturday, he went to Thor’s house. Mr. Baker smiled as when he arrived and informed him that Thor was working out at the moment if he wanted to join him.

“That’s fine, Mr. Baker,” Steve said. “But I’m actually looking for Loki right now.”

Mr. Baker didn’t even blink. He hadn’t blinked when he learned that Thor and Steve were dating Bucky, either. Steve wondered if he had known that something like this would happen. He didn’t bring it up, though. 

“He is upstairs running lines for the musical,” Mr. Baker informed him. “Shall I take you there?”

“No thank you,” Steve replied, taking off his shoes at the door. “I know where to look.”

“Very good, sir.”

Steve walked up the stairs and heard singing. He smiled. When Mr. Baker said that Loki was running lines for a musical, it hadn’t occurred to Steve that Loki would be singing. Unlike his brother, Loki had a beautiful baritone voice. He must have received whatever bit of musical talent had skipped over Thor. It took Steve a minute to recognize where the song was from. Beauty and the Beast. And Loki, it seems, had landed the spot of the Beast. 

It didn’t take him long to find him. When he did, he was surprised to find Frigga there as well, holding up a set of sheet music and following along. She glanced up as he walked into the room and smiled. Loki was facing away from him and didn’t notice. He finished the song and breathed. 

“Better this time,” Frigga said. “You were a little flat towards the end, though.”

“Thank you mother,” Loki said. “Now let’s move on… to…”

Loki had finally noticed him. He didn’t miss a beat, though. “Steve, good to see you, this is unexpected,” he said with that Cheshire cat grin. “Have you come to be seduced by my melodious voice?” 

Steve laughed. “No, not today, anyway,” he replied. “But you would certainly do a better job than Thor.”

“Anyone could say that, dear,” Frigga chuckled.

“I… actually I need your help,” Steve said, blushing. Loki’s eyebrows rose and his grin widened. 

“You must be truly desperate to come to me for help,” Loki said. “Trouble with your beau?”

Steve nodded. “My boyfriends aren’t getting along,” he said. 

That brought them up short. Loki and Frigga’s eyebrows shot up and they ushered him to take a seat while Frigga closed the door to the room for privacy.

“Boy… friends, Steve?” Loki asked, fascinated. “I believe we may have missed something in this development.”

Steve looked between them. If he had been expecting them to be shocked… he was sort of right. They were excited more than anything, waiting eagerly for Steve to spill the beans on what he meant. He looked between them, confused. 

“Thor didn’t tell you?” he asked. 

“He most certainly did not!” Frigga replied. “Out with it, what’s going on?”

“Well… Thor and I added another guy to our relationship,” Steve said slowly. They nodded impatiently. Of course they know that, I just told them as much, he scolded himself. “Bucky Barnes.”

Loki’s grin became impossibly bigger, if that was possible. Frigga nodded in approval. 

“Wait,” she said. “Was he not the one who was in the hospital a couple weeks ago? The one you came home late after visiting?”

“Yes, that’s him,” Steve said, blushing. “He bested Thor for the position of quarterback for a few years.”

“Didn’t I…?” Loki asked. Steve blushed as he nodded. “Well, congratulations.”

“So what seems to be the problem, dear,” Frigga asked.

“When I’m alone with either of them, it’s fine,” Steve said. “But if all three of us are there… it’s like Bucky gets really territorial and they glare at each other.”

Frigga took his hand and rubbed it with a thumb sympathetically. Steve’s eyes began to tear up.

“I’m tired,” he said. “I’m tired of being caught in the middle and not knowing what to do because I love them, I do, but God, I want to knock their heads together!”

“It’s hard, I know,” Frigga replied. “Jealousy is real, and it shows up more sometimes in polyamorous relationships.”

“I just don’t understand,” Steve continued.

“Well, it sounds like Bucky takes up a lot of your time,” Loki observed. “Thor is probably jealous that he’s monopolizing you like you two are the only ones in the relationship.”

Frigga nodded. “And it sounds like Bucky is being jealous around Thor because he’s not used to sharing you.”

“Pretty much,” Steve said. “It’s been going on for weeks and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Loki and Frigga looked at each other for a time. Loki shrugged. They seemed to have an entire conversation with each other just by looking and making slight movements. It was impossible for Steve to understand what was going on or what they were thinking about. Finally, Frigga turned her attention back to Steve.

“Are you aware that the doors have locks?” she asked. 

“Um, no?” Steve replied. “How does this help?”

“We could lock them up in a room until they work out their differences,” Loki said. 

“Couldn’t they just unlock the door and walk out?” Steve asked.

“Our doors are originals from when the house was built a while back,” Frigga said. “We redecorated when we moved in and we keep the house updated, but the house has never been renovated. Besides, the doors are nice to look at.”

“What she means is,” Loki interjected. “The doors all lock with a key. Unless you have one, you can’t lock or unlock the door.”

Steve smiled as he finally realized what was going on. Together, they started concocting a plan to try and get Thor and Bucky to settle their differences.

* * *

Thor braced himself on the counter in the bathroom connected to his room. He had just finished a pretty decent workout. He was trying not to be too angry with Bucky. The problem was, every time he saw him, Bucky seemed to get defensive. Like he was raring for a fight. Especially if Steve was around. Gods help him if Thor ever wanted to get close to his boyfriend if Bucky was around.

It wasn’t all bad. It was just a struggle and Thor could admit that he was struggling to adjust to the situation, too. But… he just wanted some time with Steve without Bucky claiming his attention. Steve was trying to give both of them the time and attention, but between school and exams coming up, it was a difficult time. 

Thor sighed and pulled up his jeans. Hopefully they would figure things out soon. He walked out of the bathroom and paused as he saw Bucky and Steve sitting on his bed.

“Just talk to him,” Steve said. Thor cleared his throat politely so that he wouldn’t overhear anything they wanted to be private. Bucky looked over at him and did the thing that he always did when Steve was in the room: took his hand and glared at him, as if he was daring Thor to get near Steve. Thor sighed in annoyance.

“Steve, Bucky,” he greeted. “I did not know you were coming over today. My apologies for the mess.”

“It’s fine, babe,” Steve said, smiling at him. He carefully extracted his hand from Bucky’s and came over to kiss him in greeting. Thor could feel Bucky’s eyes boring into him. He managed to keep himself from sighing. “I was hoping to get some studying done. For that physics exam. Let me get my bag.”

“Grab mine, too?” Thor asked.

“Sure, no problem.”

And with that, Steve started heading out the door. Thor became distinctly aware that he was shirtless. Not that it should be a problem, he and Bucky were on the football team together for years. He already knew what Bucky looked like naked. But this time felt different somehow. He could feel Bucky’s eyes on him. Thor met his gaze. They said nothing to each other. For weeks, they had been dancing around each other like tomcats, sizing each other up and prowling around disputed territory. 

Then there came an unexpected noise. The door closed and the lock slid home. 

“Steve?” Thor called. “What’s going on?”

“Stevie, what are you doing?” Bucky demanded. 

“Listen up,” Steve answered, uncharacteristically stern. “You two have been glaring at each other over my head ever since this relationship started. If you both hadn’t agreed to this, it wouldn’t be as much of a problem. But you did, and I’m tired of being caught between you. So you’re not coming out of there until you’ve settled what’s going on between you two, got it?”

“Stevie, be reasonable—” Bucky begged.

“Shut up, Buck,” Steve snapped. “You both need to settle whatever’s gotten into you.”

They were all quiet for a while, then Thor began to hear the sniffling and hitched breathing. The telltale signs that Steve was crying.

“Steve,” he said gently through the door.

“I want this to work,” Steve cried. “But I can’t make you two get along, so please, please figure out what’s gotten into you two and fix it.”

Thor heard Steve walking away. Bucky tried opening the door, but it was no good. Thor sighed and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. Bucky banged on the door when he finally gave up and slumped against it. 

Neither of them said anything for a while. It was so tense in the room, Thor could probably cut it with a butter knife. Finally he looked down at Bucky. He was staring at the floor where he knelt. His hair was already longer than it had been when he was in high school. It was framing his face now, starting to grow over his neck. He was a handsome man, if sometimes infuriating. 

“So what now?” Bucky asked. The phrase seemed to be their slogan in recent weeks. 

“We talk, I suppose,” Thor said. 

“About what?” 

“What’s going on with our relationship with Steve for starters,” Thor practically growled. 

“Oh, so I guess this is my fault, huh?” Bucky demanded.

“In part,” Thor replied, as evenly as he could manage at the moment. “Every time I try to even be near Steve when you’re in the room, it’s like I’m facing down a tiger.”

“A tiger? Really?” Bucky scoffed with a sardonic grin.

“Yes!” Thor replied. “I cannot get near my boyfriend without you getting protective and possessive over him!”

“I’m possessive?” Bucky countered, jumping to his feet. “You’re with him all day, every day! You see him whenever he’s at school! I only get to see him for a few hours after you two get out and then it never lasts as long as I’d like because you guys have exams coming up and you have to study! But I try to make the little bit of time I do get with him count and you always try to butt in!”

“Perhaps you forgot that we’re all in this together, Barnes,” Thor snarled, getting in his face. “I _am_ interested in you. I am trying to get to know you better, as well. But every time I try to do that, you look at me like I’m not welcome in this relationship!”

Bucky glared at him. “Don’t pretend that you care about my feelings,” he hissed. “You care about Steve. That’s why we’re in this mess. You don’t care about me. And I don’t need your pity, either, Odinson, so don’t pretend that you do care for my sake. Or Steve’s.”

“How dare you,” Thor growled, getting in Bucky’s face. “Did you even hear a word I said when we asked you if you wanted to be with us? I _wantyou_.”

“You don’t need to spare my feelings, _Thor_ ,” Bucky said. “I know you just said it to go along with Steve. You don’t have to pretend that you’re interested in me.”

“You stupid son of a—” Thor growled, pushing Bucky back up to the wall. It was easy, considering his injuries, but Thor didn’t care at the moment. When Bucky hit the wall Thor surged forward and kissed him. _Hard._

Bucky didn’t do anything for a split second. Then he returned the kiss just as hard. It was the exact opposite of kissing Steve, which was soft, tender, and loving, even in their moments of passionate love making. This was hard and bruising, teeth biting, and hands clawing. Thor actually ripped Bucky’s shirt off after trying in vain to get it over his head and arm. He shoved Bucky’s pants to the floor and his cock sprang free. Thor grabbed Bucky by the thighs and carried him over to the bed. He had enough presence of mind not to dump him onto the bed, but he did collapse on him as their lips and teeth continued their assault. 

Thor didn’t even bother with foreplay. He grabbed the lube and a condom and got to work, immediately pressing a lubed finger into Bucky’s ass as far as it would go. Bucky hissed and glared up at him in challenge. 

“That all you got, Odinson?” he demanded, a cocky grin on his face as he took Thor’s finger easily. 

Thor grabbed his jaw with his other hand a pressed a heated, angry kiss to his lips as he inserted a second finger. Some part of him in the back of his mind felt smug when Bucky hissed again as Thor began to stretch him. 

“I will make you scream,” he promised darkly. 

“We’ll see,” Bucky grinned. His grey eyes were dark, like thunderclouds, defiant and aroused. Thor inserted a third finger and Bucky hissed again, but moaned as Thor stretched him. Thor fucked his hole with his fingers, some part of him satisfied as Bucky hissed and writhed beneath him. Bucky fisted the sheets with his one good hand and groaned as Thor finally found his prostate. Thor teased it with his fingers mercilessly, his other hand let go of Bucky’s jaw roughly and started roaming over Bucky’s body. He grinned darkly as Bucky half moaned half yelped when Thor pinched a nipple. 

“You like that, don’t you?” Thor hissed. Bucky didn’t answer. Thor pinched it again and the same sound escaped Bucky’s mouth. Bucky glared at him, but the effect was marred by the way he moaned with pleasure when Thor moved his hand to his other nipple. “Don’t you?”

Bucky nodded. Thor’s grin widened. 

“Good,” he said. He descended on the other nipple and began to suck and nip at him. Bucky writhed and moaned beneath him. Thor never let up. He drove Bucky wild and loved every second of it, the pain, the pleasure, the sounds coming from Bucky’s mouth like music to his ears. He gave one final bite to Bucky’s now surely sore nipple and came off.

“You are much more fun to tease there than Steve is,” Thor said with a grin. “Steve’s are not that sensitive. Well, not as much as yours. Or mine.”

“That’s a shame,” Bucky breathed. He reached up with his hand to return the favor Thor did him. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

Thor grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the bed. 

“None of that now,” he growled. “You can touch me when you scream for me.”

Thor wasn’t sure where that came from. When he was dominant and commanding in bed, it was on purpose, but Bucky actually smiled at that. Thor wasn’t sure what it meant, but he was glad that Bucky didn’t take it the wrong way. That would have been a bad discussion to have later. Perhaps they would still talk about it sometime. Thor was, after all, interested in BDSM. His second ex had introduced him to it and he found it pleasurable, even though it seemed few were interested in it. But for now, Thor pinned Bucky to the bed and continued his relentless assault on his body. His mouth went to the other nipple and latched on, sucking and nipping and biting as Bucky moaned, trying to fight the urge to yell or make any sound that could be mistaken for a scream.

Thor smirked around Bucky’s nipple. He did love a challenge. Bucky seemed to be an unending one, but he would take it. Thor would conquer him and love every moment of it. 

Suddenly he felt Bucky’s ass clench around his fingers. Bucky’s breathing was getting faster. His breaths were shaky and he was arching off the bed. Thor hummed around Bucky’s nipple and held down his good hand a little more firmly. He angled his fingers inside Bucky to hit his prostate a little more and then it happened. Bucky actually screamed as he came, his cock pulsing as it shot thick globs of cum across his and Thor’s chests. Thor pumped his ass with his fingers through Bucky’s orgasm, grinning in satisfaction that he had actually managed to get someone to come untouched. 

As promised, Thor let go of Bucky’s wrist. Bucky didn’t even move to do anything with it, so Thor took his now free hand and started to stroke Bucky’s cock. Bucky half moaned, half groaned at the touch. Thor was merciless, teasing the sensitive head as he continued fucking him with his fingers. Not long after, Thor had Bucky at full hardness again and he withdrew his fingers from his ass. Bucky glared at him, rather than whine like Steve did. Thor quickly wrapped his cock in the condom and lubed himself up.

He didn’t check to see if Bucky was ready, just looked down at him and smirked. Then he sheathed himself inside him in one smooth thrust. Bucky’s head tilted back on the pillows and he screamed again, but it tapered off into a moaning laugh.

“Fuck, Thor,” Bucky gasped. 

“That would be the idea,” Thor growled. He pulled back until just the head of his cock was inside Bucky, then snapped his hips forward again. 

“Shit!” Bucky yelled. “Oh Christ, don’t stop!”

Thor growled again and began to fuck Bucky in earnest, gripping his hips so hard they would probably leave bruises. He didn’t care. He took Bucky hard and fast. He leaned down carefully to kiss and bite Bucky’s swollen lips. Bucky groaned loudly into his mouth. Thor didn’t let up. He fucked Bucky harder, making him yell and groan into his mouth until Thor came off him and Bucky’s head collapsed behind him. Bucky screamed after Thor delivered a particularly hard thrust. 

“Oh God, Thor,” Bucky groaned. He began to chant obscenities. Thor kept fucking into him. “Oh God, don’t stop, I’m close!”

Thor quickened the pace of his thrusts. He pounded into Bucky’s ass and groaned when he felt Bucky clench around him. A moment later, Bucky groaned loudly as he came, his cum spurting out onto their chests again. Thor groaned as he fucked desperately into Bucky’s ass, the clenching around his cock making him amazingly tight and hot. He grunted through his orgasm, his cock pulsing, filling the condom with his seed. He gave a last few thrusts before he stilled himself. 

They panted together for a while. Bucky’s face was covered in sweat and tears had left tracks down the side of his face from the corners of his eyes. Bucky smiled and huffed a laugh.

“I guess you can make me scream, after all,” Bucky mused with a smile. Thor grinned in satisfaction and did something he didn’t expect. He kissed Bucky. This time, it was tender and gentle and Bucky chuckled deliriously into his mouth. “I’m sorry. I was an ass.”

Thor sighed and pulled out of him. Bucky winced slightly as he did so. Thor took the condom off and tossed it into the trash before he lay back on the bed next to Bucky. 

“I suppose I was an ass, too,” Thor murmured. “I am sorry, as well.”

Bucky rolled over and looked down at him. From this angle, he looked handsome, the afternoon light filtering in through the windows. Thor smiled up at him and Bucky leaned down to kiss him. Thor hummed into the kiss. Now that they weren’t so aggressive with each other, he found that he enjoyed kissing him. 

“I _do_ care for you, you know,” Thor whispered against his lips. “And I do want to be with you, if you will have me.”

Bucky pulled away. “Like this, or…”

“Both,” Thor replied, stroking his cheek with a hand. “I want to lie with you, I want to take you out on dates, see movies, get ice cream, kick your ass at Smash Brothers.”

Bucky huffed. He smiled as his eyes shone with unshed tears. 

“I want us all to go out together,” Thor continued. “You, Steve, and I. I want to lie with you both, wake up to you both in my bed. But only if… only if that is what you want as well.”

Bucky looked at him for a moment. “You don’t know if I like you,” he said.

“It was… disconcerting seeing how quickly Steve adjusted to being with you,” Thor admitted. “Yet you so rarely looked in my direction unless Steve was in the room. I was… uncertain whether you liked me at all.”

Bucky sobbed and pressed his head into the crook of Thor’s neck. Thor kissed his forehead and wrapped his arms gingerly around him, mindful of his injuries now. 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky cried. “I don’t want to be jealous of you anymore.”

“I know, Bucky,” Thor whispered against his hair. “I am sorry, as well. I don’t want to be jealous of you either.”

Bucky sniffed and wiped his tears away. “Can we start over?” he asked. “I’ll try to do better this time. I do want… this. I want this to work, too.”

“I would like that,” Thor replied. “We’ll figure this out, together.”

* * *

Steve had spent the entire argument running lines with Loki, trying to focus on how good Loki was at acting like the Beast. Alas, as soon as he heard the rhythmic rocking and banging and, most alarming, shouting and screaming, he became very concerned. He had almost gone to check on them, but Loki had stopped him. 

“They’re fine, Steve,” he’d said. “Try not to think about it too much, you’ll just get… distracted.”

“Did you expect this to happen?” Steve had asked. Loki looked at him with an indulging smile. 

“Sometimes the best thing for resolving differences is to have hot, angry sex,” he replied. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d rather not think about what your boyfriends are doing and get back to this.”

Steve did, however, close the door to the living room. About hour later, he popped his head out. It was quiet. He walked to the door. There was nothing. Which meant one of two things: either they had fucked each other’s brains out (which Steve would fantasize about later) and fallen asleep, or they had killed each other. He put the key in the lock and opened the door softly. 

The room reeked of sex. Somehow, Steve didn’t mind the smell so much, but he did crack a window open. His boyfriends were sleeping together. Bucky was, shockingly, cuddling with Thor, his head tucked into the crook of Thor’s neck. Despite his best intentions, there was a slight surge of jealousy. It was strange, but he put it aside. He got what he wanted. They settled their differences. Hopefully they would be able to start again. Thor opened an eye as he stepped inside and smiled. Steve walked over and leaned over the bed to kiss him. 

“Enjoy yourselves?” he whispered. Thor hummed softly. “Room for one more?”

“Always,” Thor murmured. Steve undressed and climbed in on Thor’s right side and pulled the comforter over them. Thor wrapped his arm around him and kissed his forehead. “I think we will soon come out of the woods.”

Steve smiled as he closed his eyes. “I’m glad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was fun. I've never written angry make-up sex before. Let me know what y'all thought! Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	47. The Lovers (Decisions, Alignment, Union)

Bucky awoke feeling sore. He hissed as he rolled over on his side. Getting fucked by Thor was amazing, but he wouldn’t be able to sit for a week. He looked up at the other man. He was still sleeping, an arm draped over Bucky’s shoulder. It felt nice, not that Bucky could ever articulate such. His gazed drifted down in front of him. Steve was sleeping on Thor’s other side, his head resting on Thor’s shoulder like it was the most natural thing in the world. Thor’s other was wrapped around Steve, pulling him closer to him. He looked peaceful. 

Bucky felt a surge of guilt rise in him. He’d come between this. Bucky knew that they loved each other and he still tried to push Thor out of the way, even though he knew that Steve didn’t want that. He felt tears in his eyes again. He had no idea why they didn’t’ just break up with him. Their relationship would surely be easier with just the two of them. 

“Hey,” Thor murmured. Bucky looked up. Thor was smiling down at him, his eyes still bleary from sleep. “What is going on?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Bucky replied. Thor rolled over and looked into his eyes. Bucky expected to see anger, judgment, something. But Thor’s eyes were filled with kindness. It was somehow worse than what Bucky was expecting. 

“It’s okay, Bucky,” Thor whispered. “I will not think less of you. I promise.”

Bucky swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I just feel bad for being jealous, for coming between what you had with Steve.”

Thor said nothing. He wrapped his arms around Bucky and pulled him closer to him, pressing his forehead against Bucky’s. Bucky took a deep, shuddering breath. They breathed together, and slowly Bucky’s breath steadied as their breathing synchronized. Tears flowed down his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh,” Thor replied. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Bucky protested. “I shouldn’t have been so jealous of you.”

“It happens, Bucky,” Thor said. “Relationships like ours are tricky because it is easier for jealousy to arise.”

“How do we deal with it?” Bucky asked. “I don’t want this to happen again. Much as I liked the sex.”

Thor chuckled. “We talk. When we get jealous, we talk about it. Jealousy is just an emotion. As long as it does not control us,” Thor replied. “We’re all in this together. Steve and I, we want you to be happy with us.”

Bucky swallowed. “Do you… want to go out?” he asked. “Do a… thing?”

“Is that how you ask someone on a date, Buck?” Steve said, laughing. 

“If I recall, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied with a chuckle. “The first time you asked me out, you did not fare much better.”

“Don’t make me come over there, punk,” Bucky added. “I can still kick your ass with one hand and broken ribs.”

“If only every person you’d ever fought knew that you were the most ticklish person on the planet,” Steve countered. “You’d have lost every fight you ever fought.”

“You’re one to talk. You wanna say that to my face?” Bucky demanded, propping himself up to look over Thor at Steve. 

“I’d love to!” Steve replied, getting up. Thor sighed and relaxed between them. 

“May I watch?” Thor asked. Bucky felt his hand snaking up, caressing his lower back. He shivered at the touch. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Steve said, grinning down at them. 

“Pity,” Thor purred. “I was looking forward to that.”

Bucky grinned. “You were just going to watch, sweetheart,” he said. “No interest in joining us?”

Steve’s face went bright red. Bucky grinned as the rest of Steve’s body slowly followed suit. He looked down. Steve’s boxers were beginning to tent. 

“Two on one hardly seems fair,” Thor purred. “Do you think he could handle it?” 

“Only one way to find out,” Bucky replied, grinning wickedly up at Steve. He slowly rose to his knees. “What do ya say, punk? Think you’re… up for it?”

Steve swallowed. Bucky could see the uncertainty in his eyes. Steve took a while to warm up to people physically. Probably because of Joe. Hell, from what Steve had told Bucky, it had taken him months to get to the point where he was okay with frottage and even longer to get to other forms of sex. Something like this… it was probably a tall order for him, even if he did love both of them. Steve didn’t say anything. 

“We do not have to, love,” Thor murmured, sitting up against the headboard. “Please, don’t feel pressured to do so because of our banter.”

“But we’re…” Steve replied. “We’re together. We’re supposed to, aren’t we?” 

“Doll, we don’t _have to_ do anything you’re not ready for,” Bucky scoffed. “You hear me?”

Steve nodded and took a fortifying breath. Bucky crawled over to Steve and wrapped his arms around him. It should have felt weird, hugging him while they were naked with no sexual context of any kind. It was beautiful. Steve slowly wrapped his arms around Bucky.

“You’re really okay with this?” Steve asked. “Like, you don’t mind that I’m… a wimp?”

“Who told you that? Cause I need to beat them up,” Bucky chuckled. “Punk, you’re the bravest person I know. Seriously, you used to pick fights with bullies twice your size cause they were picking on someone else.”

“What do you mean ‘used to’?” Thor asked with a chuckle. Steve and Bucky both laughed at that.

“Seriously, doll, it’s okay,” Bucky said. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. Okay?”

Bucky felt him nod. He hugged him a little more tightly and kissed his cheek. 

There was a knock on the door. Bucky and Steve both jumped. 

“Are you three done yet?” came Loki’s voice. “Mrs. Bianchi says dinner is ready. She assumed that both Steve and Bucky would join us.”

“Dinner with the family,” Steve said. “This should be interesting.”

“Doll, I think your idea of interesting needs fixing,” Bucky replied, closing his eyes.

“We shall be fine,” Thor replied. “Father already thought that we were together back in October. Now we are.”

“There’s that,” Steve admitted. “There’s also me, though. He still doesn’t like me.”

“Will he ever?” Bucky asked, clambering off the bed to get dressed. He looked around at the shredded remains of his shirt. “Thor, can I borrow a shirt?”

“Why?” Steve asked. He looked down and his eyes widened at the sight. “Never mind. And yes, actually, Odin will approve of my relationship with Thor on one condition.”

“What?” Thor asked. “What condition? How long have you known about this?”

“Since Yule?” Steve asked. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on you. It’s kind of a big deal.”

“What’s the condition?” Thor asked again.

“If we make it to the day after our year anniversary,” Steve replied. “Then he will give us his blessing.”

Thor was quiet for a moment. He fished a shirt out of his drawer and handed it to Bucky. Bucky went through the awkward process of pulling the shirt over his head and his cast. He was starting to get the hang of it, but it was still annoying. But he was also painfully aware of the tension in the room. 

“I do not like that you did not tell me,” Thor said tightly, like he was trying to hold back his anger. “Why did you not tell me?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. “I… you were leaving for Sweden. I just wanted to enjoy myself with you.”

“All right,” Thor said. Bucky was tempted to leave quietly and let them have this discussion in private. Something held him in place, though. Whether it was so he could be a neutral-ish party or provide moral support for Steve, he wasn’t sure. He sympathized with Steve, though. That didn’t mean he didn’t also understand why Thor was upset. 

“And when you came back… the same thing, I guess,” Steve continued. “I wasn’t sure what was coming or where it would all go, what would happen when you left for Sweden in the summer.”

“I told you that I am considering not returning,” Thor said, exasperated. “You could have told me then.”

“On our Valentine’s date?” Steve asked. “You wanted me to bring up that your dad promised to bless our relationship if we managed to get to a day after our year anniversary on Valentine’s Day?”

“There were plenty of chances to bring it up after,” Thor countered. “You should have told me.”

“I told you,” Steve said. “I don’t want to pressure your decision to return or stay.”

“And I told you,” Thor growled. “You are not. It is my decision.”

“Would you honestly say that your dad’s promise wouldn’t have influenced that in any way?” Steve demanded.

“Of course it would have!” Thor countered, turning towards him. “I would have decided to stay to try to stay together! Do you want me to return to Sweden?”

“No, of course not!” Steve replied. “I want you to stay!”

“Then you should have told me anyway!” Thor said walking towards him. Bucky put out his hand and stopped him. “Stay out of this.”

“Thor,” Bucky said sternly. “Look.”

Thor paused and looked at Steve. He had backed up to the wall, his breath coming quickly. Steve’s eyes were wide with fear. He was caving in on himself, making his body a smaller target, like he was afraid of being hurt. It wasn’t surprising. For as long as Bucky had known him, Steve was able to stand up to bullies, but when a man was truly angry, he was more likely to shut down. Bucky looked at Thor pointedly.

“I know you’re angry,” Bucky whispered. “But try to settle down.”

Thor closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. When he opened his eyes, he was a little calmer. Thor took a couple steps forwards and took Steve’s hands. Steve trembled, but didn’t flinch away. Thor kissed his hands gently and Steve seemed to settle down a little bit, but it was clear that Thor being angry had unsettled him. 

“I am not going to hurt you,” Thor said. “But I am angry that you didn’t tell me.”

“I know,” Steve whispered, so quietly that he could hardly be heard. “I’m sorry.”

Steve extracted himself from Thor’s hands and left the room before either of them could say anything more. Thor sighed and turned around to finish getting dressed. Bucky was conflicted about whether to go and comfort Steve or whether to stay with Thor. It was bizarre. How was he supposed to walk the line here? 

“Do you know why he chose not to tell me?” Thor asked after a moment. Bucky hesitated for a moment.

“I think so,” he said slowly. He thought for a moment. “Did Steve ever explain his scars to you?”

“He said his father was responsible,” Thor replied. 

“Did he ever tell you why his mother chose not to leave?” he asked. He was in it now.

“I believe he said that she felt like she could not leave,” Thor said. 

“Sarah Rogers stayed for Steve,” Bucky said. “As much as it was because she didn’t feel like she couldn’t leave because of her family.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Thor asked. 

“Have you ever known Steve to ask you for anything?” Bucky asked. “Even for Christmas?”

Thor sat down on the bed next to him. “He asked me not to go to Sweden when he found out I was going to be there for the winter holidays,” he admitted.

“And I’m guessing that that was the only time he’s ever asked you for anything,” Bucky said. Thor thought for a moment and nodded. “I’ve known Steve longer than anyone, except his mom. I’ve never known him to ask for anything. Not for Christmas or his birthday or anything.”

“What does this have to do with why he didn’t tell me about what my father said?” Thor repeated.

“Steve is too selfless,” Bucky explained. “If he had been given the option, he would have had his mom leave and stayed with Joe himself so that she wouldn’t get hurt. I know he feels guilty about it, that she got hurt because she stayed for him. It’s why he never asks for anything. He can’t stand the idea of someone making sacrifices for him. He wants you to stay, but he wants it to be because you want to, not because he wants you to.”

Thor sighed and lay back on the bed. “I am such an ass,” he sighed.

“Maybe,” Bucky admitted. “But maybe we’re all asses sometimes. I know I am. And I know Steve is.”

Thor groaned. Bucky chuckled and smacked Thor’s thigh.

“Come on,” Bucky said. “Dinner will get cold. And your mom will start to wonder where we are. Let’s not start my relationship with you by pissing off your dad.”

“Gods, do not even joke about that.”

* * *

It was a few minutes before Thor and Bucky joined the rest of them at the table. By then, Steve had managed to get his heartrate down a bit. He remembered the look of anger and worse, disappointment on Thor’s face when he told him about Odin’s promise. In retrospect, he knew that he should have brought it up sooner, but… the idea that Thor would want to return to Sweden, rather than stay was persistent. He had hoped to wait until Thor had decided one way or the other to tell him. Odin, the person who had made this entire situation possible, sitting at the head of the table pointedly ignoring him didn’t help. 

Tony was there as well, naturally charming both Odin and Frigga. This was probably something he had much more experience with, formal dining events with high members of society. Steve always felt distinctly out of place here. _I wonder if Bucky feels the same way tonight_ , he thought. Bucky was like him. His parents worked full-time to make ends meet. His mom had a relatively decent job and they still lived paycheck to paycheck. 

Steve, for his part, kept his head held high, trying not to reflect the distress filling his mind. Even as his boyfriends finally entered the room. What took them so long? he wondered. Thor came to sit next to Steve. Bucky went to sit on his other side next to Odin. Steve felt somewhat better with his boyfriends next to him, especially now that he had a buffer between him and Odin. 

“I apologize,” he murmured into his ear. “I should not have been angry with you, love.”

“It’s fine,” Steve replied in kind. “You’re right, I should have told you.”

“Let us talk later,” Thor said, squeezing his hand. Steve nodded and smiled. It did help make him feel a little more at ease. This was, actually, the first time that he had had dinner with Thor’s family in this kind of setting. Something had always come up before. Now, finally, they were all there. 

Odin raised an appraising eyebrow at Bucky, his gaze moving between Bucky, Steve, and Thor. Tony grinned suggestively at Bucky from across the table. Bucky, shockingly, blushed. Frigga and Loki looked completely neutral, aside from Loki’s sly, smile, knowing the unspoken secret. 

Now that I think about it, Steve thought. Tony and Odin are the only ones here who don’t know.

“Bucky Barnes,” Odin said, smiling with more charm than Steve had ever seen directed at him. He bristled a bit at the display. “How are you my boy?”

“I’m fine,” Bucky said shortly, taking Steve’s other hand. Steve smiled in spite of himself. He held up his broken arm. “Aside from this anyway.”

“Ah, yes I had heard,” Odin replied. “We shall be hoping and praying for your swift recovery.”

“Thank you, sir,” Bucky said. Mrs. Bianchi showed up then carrying bowls of salad with a balsamic vinegarette. 

“Now, Thor,” Frigga said when they were all served, smiling pointedly. “Is there anything you wish to tell us about your… relationship?”

Thor looked up at his mother. Steve, meanwhile focused on hiding his face in his salad. He knew, of course, that this was bound to come up tonight as soon as Loki announced that they were having dinner together. He had hoped that it wouldn’t be brought up right on the outset of the meal. There was nothing to be done for it now.

“I was planning,” Thor replied, glancing at Steve, “to bring it up tonight when Loki informed us that we were having dinner together.”

Thor looked up at Bucky and Steve turned to look at him. Bucky wasn’t taking much interest in the conversation. He looked up and over at them. 

“What?” Bucky asked. “I’m fine with it.”

“Bucky is our boyfriend,” Thor declared. Tony started to choke on his salad at the announcement. Loki laughed at his boyfriend’s expense before moving to rub his back. Odin raised his eyebrows as he glanced between the three of them. Then he scowled at Steve. Steve glared back at him. How could he think to be displeased with him about this? It wasn’t like he had a right to know. In fact, it wasn’t like he had any right to judge him on this. It was just spite. 

“How long has this been going on, exactly?” Odin asked slowly. Thor moved to glare at his father. 

“A couple weeks,” Thor replied. “And I did not mention it because we were still adjusting to the change.”

“We kind of still are,” Bucky supplied helpfully. 

“I trust that things are better now?” Frigga asked. Thor turned back to her and narrowed his eyes.

“You knew,” he accused. “How?”

Steve cleared his throat. “I may or may not have asked for her help,” he said. 

Thor sighed. “Well, I cannot say that we did not need it,” he admitted. “At least it worked.”

“We noticed,” Loki said drily. “Trust me.”

“Be sure to tell whoever builds your house someday,” Odin drawled. “To make sure the walls are both strong and soundproofed.”

Thor and Bucky both had the grace to blush at that. They turned to their food. 

“I do not approve of this,” Odin said. Half the table sighed while the other half groaned. “I do not believe it to be a good match.”

“Really?” Bucky growled. “Because I recall a time a few months ago you were beside yourself with the thought of me and Thor together. This wouldn’t have something to do with my other boyfriend, would it?”

Odin turned his scowl on Bucky. Bucky, for his part, met his gaze evenly. It was positively vicious. Steve had never seen that look on his face before, but it made him think that Bucky might actually kill him. Steve wasn’t sure whether to find it hot or scary.

“That was different,” Odin growled back. 

“Why? Because your chip on your shoulder makes you hate a guy half your size?” Bucky demanded. 

“You will watch your tongue, boy,” Odin hissed. “You are a guest here and unlike that one, you have not been given leave to come and go as you please.”

“All our sons’ lovers are welcome here whenever they please, husband,” Frigga said frostily. 

“I stand corrected,” Odin lamented. He shot one final glare towards Steve, like Steve was a personal plague upon his life.

Bucky smirked as he huffed. 

The rest of dinner was just as awkward. In fact, Steve finally had a point of reference to what people were talking about when they complained about awkward family reunions. Frigga made polite conversation with Bucky, Steve, and Tony equally. She wanted to know how they had gotten together, how they were adjusting, what Tony’s parents did (Odin took noticeable interest when Tony mentioned he was a Stark), and what they were planning on doing.

Thor supplied most answers. Steve and Bucky supplemented. Odin seemed content to ignore anything that had anything to do with their relationship, in order to focus on Tony. Tony, didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. He loved anything that put him in the limelight. Steve, however, caught the conspiratorial wink Tony sent his way. Whatever could be said about him, he took care of his friends in his own way. 

As soon as it was polite enough, Odin got up and bid them good night, locking himself in the study. Everyone else at the table except for Loki and Frigga let out a sigh of relief. Steve slumped in his chair.

“My apologies,” Frigga said. “My husband is… difficult.”

“He means well,” Steve replied. Frigga raised an eyebrow. “He thinks I will break Thor’s heart.”

Frigga didn’t ask how he knew. Steve suspected that she knew about the deal, too. It would make sense. Frigga seemed to know everything. Steve also didn’t see her as someone who would hear something like that and not know where it came from. 

“Considering my previous relationships,” Thor sighed. “I am not surprised. But he would choose the one good one I’ve had to start being protective and having issues with my partners.”

“Loki, Tony,” Frigga said. “Give us a moment, please.”

They left immediately. Frigga waited for a few moments, Thor, Bucky, and Steve all waiting in tense silence to hear what she had to say to them. 

“Loki, I mean it,” she continued. “If I catch you eavesdropping, you will be grounded for a month.”

There was a sigh that came from around the corner leading to the hallway. Then there was a pair of steps that led away from the dining room. When they were really gone, Frigga folded her hands in front of her on the table. Ever the gracious host, there was not a hint of anger or disappointment in her face, but this was not her usual friendly, charming demeanor. She meant business.

“Have you told them about the deal my husband made with you on Yule?” Frigga asked. Steve gulped and nodded. “Good. They deserve to know.”

She sighed. “I apologize that Odin has put you in this position,” she continued. “If I had my way, nothing like this would have happened. But he is as stubborn as he is charming, just never at the same time.”

“How long have you known?” Steve asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I overheard enough of your conversation to confront him about it later,” she answered. 

“Why did you not tell me, mother?” Thor asked.

“Because son,” she said sternly. “You would have called him out and gotten into a fight with him. It wouldn’t have changed anything or made it better. Like it or not, this is the game you’re playing.”

“Will my being in the relationship make it easier or harder?” Bucky asked. “Like, will the deal change?”

“I do not know,” Frigga said. “As the deal was made when Steve and Thor were the only ones involved, I would be inclined to believe that it will not change. But he may try to make a similar deal with you.

“But for now we have another concern,” she continued. “Thor, do you know what you’re doing for the summer?”

“I was considering staying here,” Thor admitted. 

“Consider it harder,” she said, standing and taking Thor’s face in her hands. “I want you to come with us, but I want you to be happy, too. Don’t pass up this chance for happiness for us. We’ll be here. Sweden will always be there.”

“You don’t… mind?” Bucky asked. 

“About what? My son having more than one lover?” she asked. “No. My husband and I have not always been exclusively monogamous. Polyamory was a reality of our relationship for a long time. No matter what Odin may decide, you have my blessing.”

Steve smiled. Maybe this would be okay after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! <3
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense.


	48. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of this chapter is NSFW.

The following Friday marked the beginning of spring break. It was also the day that Bucky and Thor decided to have their “thing.” Steve still teased their new boyfriend for the way he had asked Thor out, but Thor found it endearing. Bucky was kind and nearly as awkward as Steve underneath the cool, confident, suave exterior. Bucky still hadn’t told him what the “thing” was. Now Thor knew how Steve felt when he was on the receiving end of this. It was… novel. Neither of his previous boyfriends had gone out of their way to do something like this for him. 

Thor had butterflies in his stomach. He had not felt this way since his third date with Steve, though granted, they had argued over the bill. Hopefully it wouldn’t be like this for his date with Bucky. Of course, he had known what they were doing going into it. It had been nearly a week since Bucky and Thor had made up and in all that time, Bucky had never told him what he planned. If Thor didn’t already know that Bucky had never been on a date, he would have guessed that he was experienced in this. 

All Thor knew was that Bucky had said to dress casual. Thor did so, but... he spent a long time deciding on it. Steve found it amusing. Thor tried to find it in him to laugh at himself as well when he was not trying to prepare. His diminutive lover was not being helpful.

“Babe, you look great, stop fretting. He’ll be here soon,” Steve said. Thor looked down at himself. He was wearing plain dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and a red and black plaid jacket over it. His hair was tied back in a neat ponytail. He still was not sure. What if Bucky was not pleased with it? 

“He’s going to love it, babe. Don’t worry,” Steve said.

“When did you acquire the power to read minds?” Thor asked. 

“Did you fret this much over our first date?” Steve asked, ignoring him.

“Well, yes,” Thor answered. “But then I had the entire car ride to your apartment to get over it.”

“You fretted the entire way to the restaurant?” Steve asked, bemused. “You were teasing me the entire time about how nice I looked and making me trip over myself.”

“That wasn’t our first date,” Thor argued. “The baseball game was the first.”

“The baseball game was our first outing but we were still friends at the time,” Steve countered. “Our first date was definitely the restaurant and the movie.”

“I am sure that we were not just friends at the game,” Thor muttered. “I am sure that I knew that I admired you by then.”

“I still have that ball,” Steve said in passing. “It’s framed in the living room.”

“I have seen it,” Thor confirmed. “Do you really think that this is acceptable?”

“Yes, you’re fine, you’re pretty, I would ravish you right here if you didn’t have to leave in a few minutes,” Steve replied.

“Can I watch?” said another voice. Their eyes shot over to Bucky, who was leaning on the doorway. “Because I’m sure I could put off the plans for a little bit.”

“As tempting as that sounds,” Steve said. “Loki is helping me with a project and he was very insistent starting sooner rather than later.”

“Well, so much for that,” Bucky replied with slight disappointment. Then he turned to Thor. Bucky looked him up and down, then smiled. “You look great.”

Thor felt relieved. He took in Bucky’s outfit. He was wearing a simple red t-shirt and had managed to get into a pair of jeans that clung to his hips so that Thor would probably spend all evening looking at his ass. Not that either of them would mind. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” Bucky asked with that cocky smirk. Thor smiled.

“Of course,” he replied. “Lead on.”

* * *

When Thor said “Lead on,” he did not actually think that Bucky would intend to walk to wherever the date was going to be. Though he had to admit, it was a nice evening for a walk. He took Bucky’s hand as they were leaving the neighborhood, and for some reason, though this was by far the most innocent thing they had ever done, Bucky blushed and smiled. 

“How are you adjusting?” Thor asked. 

“Hm? Oh, I’m doing fine,” Bucky replied. “At least it was my left arm that got broken. If I had to use my left arm to do everything it would be a lot worse.”

“That is certainly one way of looking at it,” Thor admitted. “Are you in any pain?”

“A little bit,” Bucky said. “Getting up and lying down are the worst, but it’s been a few weeks. It’s not as bad as it was.”

“Do the doctors know how long it will take for you to recover?” Thor asked.

“My break was worse than usual,” Bucky informed him. “They say it will probably take longer to heal. 8 weeks, maybe longer.”

“Then you are almost halfway through,” Thor said cheerfully. “Perhaps you will be out of the cast in time for prom!”

“Are we all going to prom?” Bucky asked. “I need to get a tuxedo, then.”

“Well, I would like for us all to go to prom,” Thor admitted. “Can you imagine? You and me walking in with Steve, dancing and hanging out with the other members of the GSA. The three of us taking turns dancing.”

“Will you slow dance with me, Thor Odinson?” Bucky asked with a sardonic grin. “Woo me on the dance floor with your smooth moves and your seductive ways?”

Thor chuckled and leaned in to press a kiss to Bucky’s lips as they stopped at a crosswalk. Bucky hummed in pleasure and grinned against Thor’s lips. Even now when they weren’t fighting, kissing him was nothing like kissing Steve. Steve was small and gentle and sweet, whereas Bucky was confident and bold and hot. Neither of them moved when the light changed and the others waiting, ignoring them, started crossing the street. By the time they separated, the light had changed again and they both laughed as they realized what happened. 

“I would dance with you both,” Thor replied. “All night. Kiss you both all night. Take you both to my bed when the dance was done and make love to you both until morning.”

Bucky responded with a low hum. He blushed and turned away, looking toward the light again. Thor wrapped his arm around Bucky’s waist as they waited together for the light to change. 

“You know,” Bucky said. “I never really thought that I would be with anyone. And now I have you. And Steve. It feels like a dream sometimes.”

“A good dream, I hope,” Thor replied.

“Yeah,” Bucky said. He led them on towards wherever their destination was. Eventually Thor was able to figure it out. They were heading towards the mall. He wondered amusedly what Bucky had planned for their date, but he contented himself with the wait. 

Finally, they arrived and Bucky took them straight to the mini golf area. It was one of those indoor glow in the dark courses and Thor suddenly wished that he had worn something bright instead of the dark clothes he had chosen. Steve must not have known, otherwise he would have steered him towards something better for glow in the dark. Still, Thor grinned with excitement. 

“You intend to keep score?” Thor asked when Bucky grabbed a chart and a pencil.

“You afraid to lose to a one armed man, Odinson?” Bucky asked with a grin. Thor laughed and puffed himself up.

“Shall we make it more interesting?” he asked.

“Loser buys dinner,” Bucky proposed.

“Perhaps a little more interesting than that,” Thor pressed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Bucky laughed lowly. 

“Winner gets a blowjob after dinner,” he said.

“That does sound very appealing,” Thor purred. Sadly, it didn’t have the same effect that it had on Steve. It did, however, make Bucky grin wolfishly, so at least there was some effect. Thor would need to find a different way of distracting Bucky. 

Bucky, it turned out, was great at mini golf, even with one hand. Had it not been for a lucky hole in one early on in the bout, he would have been behind. Well, more behind than he was already. Bucky was smug and competitive and Thor couldn’t help but think back to the days when they were on the football team together. In those days, Bucky had been as confident, but also a skilled leader with natural charisma. It hadn’t taken long for Thor to fall for him back then. But Bucky had never shown interest and Thor was still saddened by Elias dumping him to think about moving on. 

Still, Thor fought valiantly until the last hole, where there was a particularly difficult trick shot. It tripped Bucky up, but he still managed to get it after a few shots. Thor didn’t fare so well and Bucky howled in laughter as he finally managed to get the ball in the hole after his 9th attempt. He scowled good naturedly at Bucky who was carefully leaning on the wall so that he wouldn’t hurt his ribs by doubling over in laughter. 

“Damn, Thor,” Bucky cried. “That was the worst play I’ve ever seen.”

“At least I was memorable then,” Thor replied, stepping towards him. “Like your prize is going to be.”

“Bold words, sweetheart,” Bucky murmured. “But I’m still up for more. Best two out of three?”

Thor kissed him and nipped his smirking bottom lip. Bucky mewled, a sound Thor never would have expected from his mouth, but he took advantage eagerly, his tongue entering Bucky’s mouth. Bucky tasted like peppermint gum. Thor made a low rumbling sound in his chest as Bucky’s hand snaked up his torso to pull slightly at his hair. Thor purred again at the pleasant, stinging, tugging sensation. He never tired of it. It was half the reason why he kept it long. The other half, of course, being vanity. 

“What was that you were saying about two out of three?” Thor murmured against his lover’s lips. 

“I can’t remember, sweetheart,” Bucky replied. “But I’m good to go if you are.”

Thor managed to win the next bout. Whether it was because Bucky was distracted by their kissing or whether Thor was finally getting into the swing of the game, it was not clear. They finally came to the third and last course and by then they were just goofing off and fooling around. They didn’t keep score, but Bucky declared that he was the winner and honestly, Thor did not mind in the slightest. He would be happy to pay for dinner, and to get on his knees for his lover. Thor could not wait to see his lover’s face. 

“So, to the victor goes the spoils, love,” Thor said dramatically. “Where do you wish to dine tonight?”

Bucky grinned and took his hand and again they were walking towards wherever their next destination was. It was nice, walking hand in hand with his lover through New York. The lights of the city surrounded them, cars driving by, people rushing past on their way to meetings or parties or dates. And there they were, in the midst of it all. Thor leaned over to kiss Bucky on the cheek.

“What was that for?” Bucky asked. 

“I merely felt like it, love,” Thor replied. “I am enjoying this very much.”

Bucky smiled at that and hid his face bashfully. “I’m glad,” he said. Bucky rounded the corner and headed straight for a little Italian restaurant. Thor recognized it. He had been here once with Loki a while back. It had great Italian food, but Mrs. Bianchi would never forgive them for getting Italian somewhere else on a regular basis, so they usually stayed in if they wanted that. As soon as Bucky entered the establishment there was a cry as a short, plump Italian woman embraced him warmly. 

“Bucky so good to see you!” she said in a heavy Italian accent. “I’m so happy that you said you were coming! Is this the one you spoke of? Oh you must be starving, come, come, come.”

“It’s good to see you, too, Sophia,” Bucky replied. “Thor, this is my Aunt, Sophia. The black sheep of the family. Or, the lesbian one, anyway.”

“I thought your family were Baptists?” Thor asked. “Are there many Italian Baptists?”

“My mom converted when she married my dad,” Bucky replied. “But I’m pretty sure she still does the rosary and goes to confession.”

They arrived at a round, brightly lit table close to the window. Anyone who came by would see them easily. It was beautiful, though. The restaurant was decorated with creeping plants and pictures of various parts of Italy that may or may not be authentic. The dining room was decorated with warm yellow, brown, and green. Out of force of habit, Thor held out Bucky’s chair for him. Bucky gave him a sly grin and sat down. 

“I like him,” Sophia said to her nephew. “He’s such a gentleman.”

“I’m hardly the swooning type, Aunt Sophia,” Bucky replied, blushing.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “You cannot beat class or charm. Doesn’t matter what their gender is.”

They placed their drink orders before she left. She seemed like a cheerful woman. Thor looked at Bucky quizzically.

“She and her wife, Tonya, run the place,” Bucky explained. “Tonya is the head chef and Sophia handles the customers. My sister and I come here all the time and we get discounted prices since we’re family.”

“You do not work here?” Thor asked. Bucky laughed and shook his head. 

“No, my mom doesn’t approve of her,” he explained. “Doesn’t want her kids being ‘exposed to her lifestyle.’ Not that it worked, but there’s no point in rocking the boat if you don’t have to.”

“Forgive me, but it seems so strange,” Thor said. “How can family be that terrible to each other? It is not like you’ve killed someone.”

Bucky chuckled at that. “Yeah, I imagine it does,” he said. “Your family is pagan, right? Steve mentioned something about Samhain that you invited him to last year. And Yule.”

Thor nodded. “Sexuality is not such a big deal for pagans,” he replied. “It probably has something to do with the fact that all our gods are willing to sleep with pretty much anything. Although, all the pagans I know tend to stick to sleeping with humans.”

“Thank God,” Bucky said with a smirk. “I don’t wanna kink shame or anything, but if you were into something other than people, I would be concerned about being in a relationship with you long term.”

Thor leaned closer. “You anticipate this lasting a long time, then?”

Bucky swallowed. Thor suspected that that part may not have been intentional. He reached across the table to take Bucky’s hand the way that Thor did with Steve when he was unsure about something and squeezed it gently. Bucky looked unsure of how to process this development, but he squeezed back. 

“I…” he said. Bucky swallowed. 

“It is all right,” Thor said. 

“I want it,” Bucky said. “Even though I shouldn’t.”

“‘Shouldn’t?’” Thor asked, confused. “Why should you not want to be happy? You are no less deserving of it than anyone else.”

“Yeah, I know that. In my head, anyway,” Bucky replied. “Not so easy to convince the rest of me, though.”

Thor sighed. “You and Steve,” he said. “What am I to do with you both?”

Bucky’s response was a feral grin. “I can think of a few things.”

All of a sudden there was a swat as Bucky’s aunt hit him with the menu. She glared down at him good-naturedly. Thor saw the resemblance between them. They both had the easy confidence, the smirk and the dark, mischievous glint in their eyes. When Bucky looked at him or Steve, that glint spoke of the things Bucky wanted to do to them. Or with them, perhaps. It was little wonder how he had been so successful with sexual partners. 

“Not at the table, Bucky,” she scolded. “There are other people here.”

“Sorry Sophia,” he intoned. 

“And what is this nonsense about not deserving happiness?” she demanded. She hit him with the menu again and Thor chuckled, earning him a glare from his boyfriend. “God did not make you this way so that you could be miserable and lonely.

“Besides, I am sure young Steve would say the same thing if he were here,” she continued. Bucky looked up at her confused. She snorted. “ _Mio dio_ , child, did you think I was blind? You have been mooning after that one since you were a boy and now you come in walking on air—”

“I’m not walking on air,” Bucky protested. She hit him with the menus again.

“Don’t interrupt your elders,” she scolded with a smile. “And you expect me to believe that you haven’t gotten with him yet?”

Bucky looked helplessly at Thor. Thor shrugged. We may as well tell her, he thought. She seems to have figured out most of it already. 

“Me, Steve, and Thor are in a relationship,” Bucky admitted. Sophia smiled down at him.

“Wonderful, I’m so glad you found each other,” she said happily. “You three come in sometime and your aunts will give you dinner on the house.”

She took their orders for dinner and left without any more fuss. Thor smiled at Bucky who was doing his best to melt into the chair and disappear into the floor, like he was utterly mortified for someone who have met the weird person in the family. Bucky tried scowling back at Thor but the effect was ruined by the blush on his cheeks. 

“You are cute when you are flustered,” Thor teased. Bucky huffed. 

“Steve’s cute when he’s flustered,” Bucky retorted. 

“Yes he is,” Thor said with a sigh. “But perhaps cute is not the right word for you. You are… pretty when you are flustered.” Bucky glared at him. 

“I will throw my breadstick at you,” Bucky threatened. 

“More for me then,” Thor said with a chuckle. Bucky’s eyes widened, like he had not considered this line of thought. 

“Shit you’re right,” he whispered. “I will throw my salad bowl at you.”

“I am so frightened,” Thor deadpanned. 

“You’d better be, big boy,” Bucky said with a smirk. “I can still kick your ass with one hand.”

“If I recall correctly,” Thor said. “You couldn’t even beat me in an arm wrestle when you actually had both arms fully functioning.”

“You wanna say that to my face?” Bucky asked. 

“I just did, love,” Thor replied with a smile. He took a sip of his water. “It is a very handsome face, too.”

That just made Bucky’s face flush even more and he hid his face in the water. Thor kept smiling at him. Bucky was strange. He could flirt and talk about sex without batting an eye, but the moment someone complimented him, he was awkward as Steve. Thor liked it. Of course, he liked anything that made his boyfriends awkward and flustered. That was half the fun of being in a relationship.

“You do, you know,” Thor said gently. “You are a very handsome man, Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky smiled, in spite of himself. It wasn’t the cocky, suave smile that made Thor weak at the knees or the sweet smile he wore when he was caught looking at Thor or Steve. He made that slow, shy smile that made Thor want to kiss him. 

_Why not?_ he wondered. Thor stood up and moved to sit next to Bucky. Bucky looked a bit surprised but didn’t back off when Thor leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. Bucky kissed him back eagerly. Thor felt Bucky smiling against his lips and he kissed his boyfriend again. When he finally came back and looked into Bucky’s eyes. He was smiling that smile again. 

“Thank you,” Bucky murmured. 

“It was my pleasure,” Thor replied. “ _Mitt hjärta._ ”

Bucky looked at him blankly. Thor smiled. 

“My heart.”

* * *

Bucky was scared. Not of anything that Thor had done or said… or maybe he was. Bucky wasn’t sure. He knew one thing, though. His heart skipped a beat when Thor had leaned in to kiss him at his aunt’s restaurant. Thor hadn’t left his side after that either. They ate together and every now and then one of them had leaned in to kiss the other. 

This was uncharted territory. Bucky had never felt this way about anyone but Steve before, the desire, the need to be close to him. He chalked it up to a crush. That was it, it was just a crush. And yet… Bucky had had crushes before on people other than Steve. They never lasted long. A month, at most. Thor and Bucky had been together for a few weeks, two of which they had spent fighting over Steve’s time and attention. It didn’t make sense for him to feel this way about him, especially so soon. But there was… something… about the man that made Bucky weak at the knees. 

They were on their way back to Thor’s house, walking again. It was still light out, the days growing longer now that it was spring. They made it to the door and Thor regarded him briefly, a hungry glint his eyes. Bucky’s breathing hitched at the sight. He knew what was coming. He had been the one to suggest it after Thor proposed making it more interesting. They hadn’t had sex since last week, when they had made up. Bucky was… nervous. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been nervous before sex, but here he was, fearing and yearning for what was to come. 

Thor didn’t miss a beat. He smiled reassuringly at Bucky as he opened the door. Thor took his hand and led him up the stairs to his room. Steve smiled and waved when they came up. Thor took a slight detour to check in on him. Thor leaned down to kiss him and Bucky followed shortly after to do the same. 

“You two have fun?” Steve asked.

“We did, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied. “Although the fun is just beginning.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, but Thor just took Bucky’s hand and led him to the bedroom. Despite the fact that Bucky’s heart was racing, he couldn’t find it in himself to not go with him, to not follow through with the deal they made. Because as much as Bucky was afraid… he really wanted to have sex with Thor. 

Thor kissed him gently but insistently when their door was closed. Bucky raised his one good hand to cup the side of Thor’s face. Bucky reached back to Thor’s neck and brought him impossibly closer, deepening the kiss and granting his boyfriend access to Bucky’s mouth. Thor groaned into his mouth and turned Bucky around pushed him back towards the bed. Bucky’s legs hit the edge of the bed and he lay down. Rather than go immediately for Bucky’s quickly hardening cock, Thor hovered over him and leaned down to kiss him again. 

Bucky was gasping for breath by the time Thor came off his mouth and moved down to suck at Bucky’s neck. Bucky moaned desperately as Thor sucked at his sensitive flesh. He wasn’t as sensitive there as Steve, apparently, but he still liked it. Thor snaked a hand up under his shirt and began to tease one of Bucky’s nipples, eliciting a sharp moan from Bucky. Bucky arched up into the touch and looked into his boyfriend’s eyes. They were dark with lust and dancing with mischief. 

Thor and Bucky carefully managed to remove his shirt and toss it aside. Thor looked down, his hands roaming up Bucky’s torso, teasing his nipples, his sides, careful to be gentle with his left side. Thor lowered his mouth to the very center of the top of his chest and began to kiss and suck gently on his collarbone. Thor kissed his way down Bucky’s chest, taking time to lick and bite and suck on each nipple. It drove Bucky wild.

“Thor please just suck my dick,” Bucky begged. Thor chuckled lowly.

“Patience, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor replied. “You are beautiful and I intend to enjoy you tonight.”

There was that word again. _Mitt hjärta_. My heart. It brought Bucky up short, made his heart feel giddy and wonderful and still a bit terrified. Thor continued his agonizingly slow descent towards Bucky’s crotch, now tenting painfully against the fabric of his jeans. Bucky needed to distract himself. 

“You’re wearing to much clothing, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered. Thor looked up at him through his eyelashes and grinned. He knelt, straddling Bucky’s body, Thor’s ass pressing against Bucky’s erection and stripped from his shirt slowly. Bucky’s mouth watered at the sight of Thor’s muscular body, pale from the long winter, but would regain the healthy, glowing tan come summertime. Then Thor slowly, deliberately, unbuckled his belt, popped the button of his jeans, and unzipped his pants. Bucky’s eyes never wandered from Thor’s strong, thick fingers as he reached inside and whipped his hard cock out. 

_Damn_ , Bucky thought. _That was inside me? Jesus…_

It was big and thick, and though Bucky didn’t have as much experience with guys as he did with women, he did know that it was one of the bigger cocks that he had had sex with. _No wonder I was walking funny last week_ , he mused. 

Thor chuckled and shucked his pants to the floor. Thor’s cock bounced against his stomach and he leaned down, crawling over Bucky’s body to kiss him again. Bucky reached down between them and took the hot, thick member in his hand. Thor hummed into his mouth as Bucky began to stroke him. Thor’s hands went to Bucky’s pants and started to palm Bucky’s erection. Bucky actually whined into Thor’s mouth and arched into the touch, trying desperately to get more friction against his aching member. Thor chuckled into Bucky’s mouth and got up.

“So impatient,” Thor murmured against his lips. “I cannot wait to taste you, to touch you.”

“So touch me, you tease,” Bucky countered. “I wanna feel your pretty mouth on me.”

Thor chuckled again and his hands fell to Bucky’s pants and moved as slowly as he had when getting his own pants off. Thor slowly pulled Bucky’s pants off and his mouth rose to tease Bucky’s clothed erection, mouthing him along the hard length. Bucky moaned when Thor finally pulled Bucky’s boxers down and Bucky’s dick finally, finally sprang free. It was big. Not as big as Thor’s but big enough that guys still bent over eagerly at the sight of it. Thor just pumped it lazily for a moment, staring up into Bucky’s eyes. 

Bucky stared back down at him, logical thought slowly fading from his mind as he watched Thor’s hand slowly, tantalizingly pump his cock. He knew what he was doing, there was no question about that. 

Thor slowly got up and reached over to the nightstand and fished out a flavored condom of one variety or another. Bucky watched, transfixed as Thor wrapped it around his dick and then looked up into Bucky’s face through his eyelashes and winked. Thor kissed the head before he licked it and began licking up the length of Bucky’s member like it was a popsicle. Bucky’s breath hitched. 

“Don’t be such a tease, Thor,” Bucky gasped. “Please, just… suck me.”

Thor grinned up at him. “With pleasure,” he purred and his hot mouth enveloped the head of Bucky’s dick. Bucky moaned loudly. Thor sank down Bucky’s dick, always looking up into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky resisted the urge to buck up into his mouth. He wasn’t sure how much Thor could take. Thor began to bob in an easy, confident rhythm, his tongue swirling around the head and tracing the veins of his dick. 

Bucky fisted the sheets. He really hadn’t expected Thor to be this good at giving head. Thor’s hands were roaming over his body, looking for the places that made Bucky feel good. Eventually they rose up again to tease his nipples and Bucky gave a loud, wanton moan. His eyes widened and his hand snapped over his mouth in mortification. Thor chuckled and hummed evilly around Bucky’s member before he came off it.

“I love the sounds you make,” Thor whispered. Bucky was too busy following the trail of saliva running down his chin to pay much attention to his words. “You and Steve, you both make the most beautiful sounds.”

Bucky said nothing. Thor pumped his member in one hand as he lowered himself to lick and suck his balls. Bucky moaned again as Thor popped one in his mouth and teased it with his tongue, rolling it around before letting it fall out. His mouth went back to the head of Bucky’s dick and Bucky gasped and moaned as Thor swallowed him down to the root.

“Jesus Christ, fuck!” Bucky moaned, finding his voice at last. “Oh God, yes, suck me, Thor.”

Thor moaned around him and began bobbing on his member in earnest. Bucky’s hand moved to his head and fisted his hair, causing his boyfriend to moan again around him. Bucky started bucking up into Thor’s mouth, fucking him. Thor stilled himself and let Bucky use his mouth. Bucky moaned and tilted his head back as Thor swallowed him to the hilt again. One of Thor’s hands left his nipples and came down to fondle his balls and tease his perineum. Bucky bucked up into Thor’s mouth again.

“Fuck yes,” he hissed. “Don’t stop, Thor, please don’t stop. Yes!”

Thor hummed around him and kept at it. Bucky began to feel his climax building. He keeps chanting, begging Thor not to stop, like his boyfriend actually might if it were up to him. Which it technically was. But Thor kept sucking his dick like a god, swallowing, licking, and sucking up the length of Bucky’s member. 

“Fuck, Thor I’m close,” Thor swallowed Bucky’s dick and moaned around it, the vibrations made Bucky moan loudly. Thor increased the pace of his bobbing, sucking harder and faster. One of Thor’s hand kept teasing his balls, his thumb stroking his perineum while the other teased his nipple. Bucky kept his hand firmly latched on Thor’s hair, pulling and tugging as his boyfriend sucked his dick. 

“Fuck, oh shit, Jesus!” Bucky cried as he came. Thor sucked him dry as Bucky’s come filled the condom. He felt Thor pop off his dick and kneel in front of him. Thor stroked his cock. Through his post-orgasm haze, Bucky kneeled, ignoring the pain in his ribs and kneeled in front of Thor. Their lips crashed together and Bucky wrapped his hand around Thor’s dick, pumping him fast and tightly. Thor grasped Bucky’s face with both hands, panting and moaning into Bucky’s mouth.

“Bucky,” Thor groaned. He said something that sounded like begging in a language Bucky didn’t recognize. 

“Come for me, sweetheart,” Bucky murmured against his lips. A few strokes later and Thor was grunting and groaning as he came, his seed shooting out onto the bedding beneath them. Bucky milked him through his orgasm. When they were done, Bucky tore his condom off and tossed it in the trash. Thor kissed him tenderly, lazily. Bucky smiled against his lips. 

“We should change the sheets,” Bucky said. Thor chuckled.

“Is this your idea of pillow talk, love?” Thor asked. Bucky laughed. 

“No,” he admitted. “But Steve will want to join us tonight. He would probably appreciate clean sheets. And pillow talk is always better with clean sheets.”

Thor sighed and walked over to his linen closet and got out a fresh set of sheets. Bucky helped him set it up. When they were done, Bucky all but collapsed on the sheets. 

“That was amazing,” he murmured. Thor climbed into the bed beside him and kissed his forehead. 

“Something is troubling you, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor whispered. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Why do you call me that?” Bucky asked. “We’ve only been together for a few weeks.”

“I called Steve _älskling_ the day of our first date,” Thor replied. “It does not feel strange to me, but I will stop if you want me to.”

“No,” Bucky replied. “I don’t. It’s just… it’s strange.”

“How so?” Thor asked. Bucky thought for a moment.

“Because I like it,” Bucky said finally. “I like you. And I’ve had crushes on people other than Steve before but… it feels different this time. I don’t know what it means.”

“We will figure it out, love,” Thor murmured, kissing his hair. “Together. All of us.”

Bucky was quiet for a while. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me live, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	49. These Colors Don't Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW.

Steve had come to bed sometime in the middle of the night and woke up nestled between his boyfriends. He stirred in his sleep. His head was resting on Bucky’s right shoulder and Thor’s arms were wrapped around his middle. Bucky smelled like ice and cedar. Strong. Comforting. Steve opened his eyes and ran a hand over Bucky’s sleeping form. This was the first time he’d had to do this in a while. Bucky was hairier than Thor. Thor had more hair on his head, but Bucky had more on his body. Steve liked it. He liked running his fingers through Bucky’s chest hair.

Bucky moaned in his sleep as Steve’s fingers wandered over and around his nipples. Steve could feel his heartbeat. Behind him, Thor began to stir as well. Steve could feel the evidence of Thor’s erection pressing against his ass. He moaned, desperate for touch. It had been weeks since he had sex with Thor and he still hadn’t had sex with Bucky. Between the three of them adjusting and Bucky and Thor becoming comfortable with each other, the only relief Steve had found was with himself. He was trying to be glad that they were getting along, but Jesus, he wanted to get fucked. 

He whined as Thor’s hands began to move over his body, the rough calluses making his body scream with desire. He whined as Thor’s hands moved past his hips and began to caress his thighs. 

“Shh, _älskling_ ,” Thor whispered into his ear. Steve shivered. “It has been some time, I know. I am sorry.”

“Please Thor,” Steve murmured. 

“You wish to do this now?” Thor asked. Steve nodded. “Do you want me? Or do you wish to make love to our paramour?”

“Bucky,” Steve whined softly. “Sorry, it’s nothing against you, I just—”

“There is no need to apologize, love,” Thor replied. “He is very pleasing in bed. I know you have wanted to lay with him for some time.”

This constant whispering in Steve’s ear coupled with Thor’s wandering hands was making him hard and needy. He shouldn’t be surprised. Thor knew how to drive him wild and took every opportunity to do it. 

“Do you wish me to join you, or do you want to be alone with him?” Thor murmured. 

“What do you want?” Steve asked. 

“This is not about me, my love,” Thor said. “This is about you. You need this. I will do whatever you need me to do.”

Steve’s breathing hitched. He might cum just like this. He wondered if that was even possible. Thor could probably make him do it. Thor might even find it amusing, making Steve cum in his pants, the bastard. Steve was trying to think coherently. What did he want? Did he want to be alone with Bucky right now? Did he want to try and be with both of them?

“I don’t think I’m ready for both of you,” Steve murmured. “But… after I’m prepped, if you want to stay…”

“You wish me to open you up and watch our lover enjoy the fruit of my labor as he fucks your tight, pretty ass?” Thor asked. Steve shivered. The filth Thor was whispering into his ear was insane. But for some reason, it made Steve hot and horny. “I must admit, I would enjoy it very much.”

_You’re a little perv_ , Rogers, he told himself. 

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Once he wakes up.”

“You could wake him up,” Thor murmured. “He would not mind, I think.”

“What do I do?” Steve asked. Thor chuckled lowly. 

“Kiss him,” Thor said. “Tease his nipples.”

Steve propped himself up awkwardly on the bed and leaned down to kiss Bucky while his right hand went to tease his nipples like Thor told him. Bucky moaned in his sleep and Steve smiled as he deepened the kiss. Thor moved behind him, reaching over to stroke Bucky’s cock. Steve’s mouth watered at the sight. It was big. Not as big as Thor, but still. Steve returned his attention to Bucky’s lips and his nipples. 

Bucky finally stirred, moving his right hand to pull Steve closer to him as he began to return the kiss. Bucky nipped Steve’s lower lip softly and Steve opened his mouth, letting Bucky’s tongue enter him. Thor took his hand off Bucky’s cock and Bucky whined. 

“I could get used to this,” Bucky murmured against Steve’s lips. Steve grinned.

“I think I could, too, Buck,” Steve replied. They started kissing again. Bucky moved down his body, sucking at his neck while Thor nipped and sucked at his earlobe. Steve was overwhelmed by it all and a wanton moan escaped his mouth. Thor chuckled against his ear and started migrating down his body, kissing along the length of Steve’s spine. Steve wondered briefly where he was heading before he felt Thor’s hands pulling his pajama pants down. He shivered in anticipation.

“I got you, doll,” Bucky whispered. “I can’t wait to get a taste of that.”

Steve was about to respond, until he felt Thor’s hot, wet tongue licking over his hole. Steve moaned loudly into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky chuckled against him and resumed kissing and sucking on his neck. Steve tangled his hands into Bucky’s hair and savored the sensations of his boyfriends licking him, sucking him, working him up. 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to fuck you, doll?” Bucky murmured against his neck. Steve shook his head. “Since I was 14. You were 15 and just starting your growth spurts. And I was in the middle of mine.”

“You went from being a little jerk to a giant jerk,” Steve said, looking down at Bucky, his voice strained with pleasure. “I was so jealous of you.”

“You were so cute, though,” Bucky said. “I remember looking at you one day and realizing… I loved you and you were the only person I ever wanted in my life.”

“I love you,” Steve said. “I want to make love with you.”

Bucky stared up into his eyes for a moment before he leaned up to kiss him. Steve moaned into the kiss, whether it was from Thor eating him out or Bucky’s lips, he couldn’t tell but it was the most amazing thing. Thor hummed against his hole and Steve practically jumped into Bucky’s arms (or arm). Bucky just chuckled. 

“You like that, doll?” Bucky asked. “He hasn’t done that for me yet.”

Steve stared at him, somehow aware in his lustful haze that Bucky had just told him what Steve had suspected, that Thor had topped. _Shit_ , he thought. _I want to see that. That sounds hot._

“He’s good with his tongue,” Steve murmured against Bucky’s hair. “You need to feel him fucking you with it. It’s amazing.”

As if on cue, Thor’s tongue breached him and Steve moaned as he felt the hot, wet muscle fucking the tight ring of his hole in shallow, greedy thrusts. He moaned desperately into the pillow beneath him. Bucky started making his way down Steve’s chest, leaving a path of kisses in his wake until he was at Steve’s stomach. Bucky paused.

“Sweetheart, could you…?” Bucky asked. Steve whined when Thor’s face left his ass until he heard the nightstand behind him opened. He heard Thor grabbing the bottle of lube and plastic wrappers. Condoms. He tossed one to Bucky who managed to get it open and wrapped it around Steve’s hard, leaking cock. Thor lowered himself to resume rimming Steve’s hole while Bucky wrapped that cocky, sinful mouth around Steve’s cock. 

Steve could have come right then and there. Both his boyfriends, humming, moaning, and sucking around him. The feeling of it was incredible. Thor’s mouth was soon replaced by with a lubed finger and Steve hissed as the digit entered his hole, tight from weeks of involuntary abstinence. He panted into the pillows, enduring the pleasuring onslaught from his boyfriends’ ministrations. Their mouths were incredible. Steve was torn between rutting back onto Thor’s finger and thrusting into Bucky’s. 

Thor slowly pressed another lubed finger into Steve’s hole and Steve hissed again as Thor began to stretch him. Bucky took Steve’s cock to the root and hummed around him. Steve moaned loudly as the two of them tortured him beautifully. 

“You two…” Steve groaned. “You two are going to kill me like this.”

Thor kissed the small of Steve’s back and began his ascent, kissing back up Steve’s back until Thor was back up against Steve’s neck. Thor’s fingers were still thrusting into and stretching Steve’s ass. Thor began to suck on the back of Steve’s neck. Bucky looked up at them and smirked around Steve’s cock, moaning in delight. 

“There are worse ways to go, love,” Thor whispered into his ear. Steve shivered and bucked into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky replied by humming around him. Which made Steve shiver and fuck himself back onto Thor’s fingers. All the while, Thor was kissing and sucking and biting Steve’s neck. This created a wonderful, vicious cycle . As Steve fucked himself on Thor’s fingers, they stretched his hole and brushed over his prostate. When he came off Thor’s fingers, Steve’s cock was engulfed by Bucky’s hot, waiting mouth, sucking him eagerly. 

Eventually, Thor added a third finger and Steve whined as he was stretched to accommodate the additional digit. It had been too long. He missed the feeling of Thor’s fingers in his ass. He missed Thor touching him like this. Bucky touching him like this was new and exciting and 

“Guys, please Jesus, I’m close,” he moaned. Thor purred in his ear. At the same time, Bucky swallowed Steve’s cock and moaned, the vibrations going straight to the head. Neither of them let up in the slightest and Steve found himself fucking himself even faster, desperate for release. 

“Come for us, love,” Thor murmured. Bucky hummed around him again. Finally it was too much, and Steve came with a cry, filling the condom with his come, his ass tightening around Thor’s thick fingers. He gasped when he was done, overwhelmed and oversensitive. Thankfully, Bucky came off his cock and unwrapped it for him.

“Do you need a break, Steve?” he asked. Bucky’s eyes were filled with concern. Steve nodded weakly and Thor pulled his fingers out of Steve’s ass. Bucky kissed him gently, no heat or passion in the gesture. The two of them kissed lazily for a few minutes before Bucky laid his head on the pillows again. 

“That was… damn,” Steve whispered. He was still reeling from it all. 

“Good damn or bad?” Bucky asked. 

“Good, I’m just… I wasn’t prepared for how much it was,” Steve admitted. 

“Do you wish to stop, Steve?” Thor asked. “We can if you want.”

Steve thought for a moment and shook his head. “Maybe we could just…” Steve replied. “Dial down the intensity of it a bit.”

“Of course, Stevie,” Bucky said. “I forgot you’re still kinda new to this.”

“Do you wish me to leave?” Thor asked. Steve was trying to determine whether Thor was implying that he would be sad if that were the case. He didn’t want Thor to think that Steve didn’t care about him or want to be with him anymore. But… Steve also wasn’t sure he could handle Thor being an active part of sex between Steve and Bucky yet. Just now it was too much. 

“ _Älskling_ ,” Thor murmured. “You are worrying too much. I will not be offended, I promise. If you wish to lay with Bucky alone, that is fine. I do not mind.”

By now Steve was starting to come down from the orgasm and he was able to think a little more clearly. He never really thought about what it would be like to be with Thor and Bucky. He thought about them being together sometimes. He liked the image in his head. But he had never really imagined himself with them. He wanted that in theory, but they had been together just now and it had felt… too good. Too much.

“I just want Bucky now,” Steve said. “But… I want you to stay. Watch.”

Bucky’s eyebrows rose and he looked at Thor, who seemed uncertain. 

“Please, Thor,” Steve said. “I want to be with you both, I just want to ease into it. You being here, watching me might help.”

“As long as you are sure, love,” Thor murmured, kissing his forehead. “If you change your mind, say it and it is done.”

“I will,” Steve promised. 

Steve turned to his other boyfriend, Bucky, who was grinning with excitement and anticipation. Bucky’s eyes were dark with arousal and suddenly Steve could just imagine everything that Bucky wanted to do to him. The thought made him shiver and he kissed Bucky before he could disappear too far down the rabbit hole. Bucky wrapped his good arm around Steve and brought Steve flush against Bucky’s hard, strong body. Steve moaned into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky was more gentle this time, less heated and wild like he had been. Steve slowly felt his cock begin to stir again and he began to explore Bucky’s body with his hands again. It was both similar and different from Thor’s. Thor was bigger, for one, and his muscles were more defined and toned than Bucky’s. Bucky’s dark hair traveled down his torso, ending in a happy trail leading down to his pelvic region. 

“How do you wanna do this, Stevie?” Bucky asked. 

“I wanna feel you, Buck,” Steve gasped. “Inside me.”

“You got it,” Bucky replied with a devilish grin. He left one final kiss on Steve’s lips before he carefully got up, and awkwardly positioned himself behind Steve. Steve grinned and got up on his knees, his ass in the air as he propped himself on his elbows.

“You’re so pretty like this, doll,” Bucky whispered. Bucky ran his thumb over Steve’s hole. Steve whined at the sensation. Bucky chuckled darkly as Steve rutted back against Bucky’s hand, but Bucky never did anything more than tease his opening. “What do you want, baby?” 

“Please, please Bucky,” Steve begged. “Please fuck me.”

“You’re so pretty when you beg, doll,” Bucky said. Steve felt Bucky lean down over him, Bucky’s cock pressing along the curve of Steve’s ass. Then Steve saw Bucky’s fingers in front of his mouth, running along his lips. “Open up?”

Steve swallowed and opened his mouth. Bucky’s fingers entered his mouth. It didn’t take him long to figure out what Bucky wanted Steve to do. He began to suck on Bucky’s thick fingers. It was somewhat strange compared to sucking cock. Bucky had the same rough, athletic calluses as Thor, but having them in his mouth was… strange. But Steve liked it. He licked and sucked around Bucky’s fingers eagerly until Bucky suddenly withdrew them. Steve’s disappointment was short lived, as Bucky pressed both to his hole and pushed in. 

“Fuck, doll, you’re so tight,” Bucky hissed. “How long’s it been, baby?”

“Not—not since y-you were in the hospital,” Steve whined. Bucky paused for a split second before he resumed fucking Steve’s hole with his fingers. 

“Shit, Stevie, you’ve been watching me and Thor go at it and you didn’t say nothing?” Bucky asked. “You should have said something, baby. I’d have fucked your pretty ass a long time ago.”

“Shit, Buck,” Steve panted. This was virtually the exact opposite of Thor, who whispered sweet nothings into his ear and played him like a fiddle. Bucky was filthy and vulgar and somehow it was hot as Steve knelt on the bed.

“You like that, doll?” Bucky asked. “I would, you know. I would fuck you into the mattress until you begged for mercy.”

Steve laughed. “Maybe you’ll be the one to beg,” he countered. Thor gave a moaning laugh. Steve looked over at their other boyfriend and grinned, remembering their first time like this. Thor was slowly, leisurely stroking his cock. 

“That sounds like a challenge, baby,” Bucky replied. “How long do you think we can go today? I’m gonna leave you so wrecked you won’t sit for a week.”

Steve’s reply was drowned out as Bucky finally started taking this seriously and his fingers found Steve’s prostate. Steve moaned loudly as Bucky’s fingers brushed over that sensitive bundle of nerves. Steve gazed over at Thor, his mouth slack as he moaned. 

“That’s it baby doll,” Bucky whispered. “Let us hear how much you love your ass getting played with.”

“Fuck Buck,” Steve moaned 

“That’s the idea, baby,” Bucky whispered again. He pulled his fingers out of Steve’s ass and Steve whined at the loss. Thor rolled over and grabbed a condom out of the drawer. He crawled over to Bucky and Steve looked back as Thor knelt beside their boyfriend and kissed him deeply as he wrapped Bucky’s cock in the condom. Thor squeezed some lube out onto his hand and returned it to Bucky’s cock. Bucky moaned into Thor’s mouth. Steve felt a brief surge of irritation. It was strange, seeing his lovers kiss. He could understand why they had been jealous of each other. It took some getting used to. But Steve could also admit that it was hot. He tried to focus on that.

“Treat him well, love,” Thor whispered. Bucky chuckled lowly and Steve shivered. 

“You got it, sweetheart,” Bucky said. Steve got up on his hands to alleviate the pressure on his elbows. “Hear that, babe? I’m gonna fuck you til you can’t speak.”

“You planning to get to it or you all talk, jerk?” Steve asked, grinning back at him. Bucky’s response was to press the head of his cock to Steve’s hole and pressed in until he breached Steve’s hole. Steve moaned as he was finally, finally filled. Thor laid down beside him, but didn’t touch him. Steve smiled gapingly at him, his blue eyes dark with lust. Bucky inched into Steve slowly until he bottomed out. Bucky groaned above him.

“Fuck, Stevie you feel so amazing like this,” Bucky moaned. “You feel like heaven.”

It would have been absurd, if Steve didn’t feel the same way. It had been too long and he missed this feeling. Bucky soon began to pull out, just before he slammed back into him. Steve hung his head and moaned into the mattress beneath him. Bucky went hard and he was intense. Again, nothing like Thor, Steve’s gentle giant. Bucky knew he wasn’t glass and didn’t treat him like it. 

“You are well, Steve?” Thor asked. Steve’s response was to reach over and pull Thor into a wet, sloppy kiss as he moaned. Bucky cursed and fucked him harder. Steve moaned into Thor’s mouth again, fisting his hair. Thor moaned into Steve’s mouth in kind. 

“Fuck guys,” Bucky moaned as he delivered a particularly sharp thrust. “Fucking hot.”

“He’s a good kisser,” Steve gasped. “God, Bucky don’t stop.”

“Don’t worry, doll,” Bucky replied, leaning over to kiss the back of Steve’s neck. “I won’t ever stop.”

Steve fisted the mattress beneath him as Bucky’s thrusts continued, never letting up, hitting Steve’s prostate with every thrust. His body was alive, pleasure and pain coursing through his veins and it felt so good. Steve kissed Thor again and he could feel Thor’s arm moving beneath him as Thor jerked his member, watching and hearing the sounds of Bucky and Steve’s sex. Suddenly Bucky pulled out of him and Steve whined. Bucky kissed the back of his neck again. 

“I wanna see your face when you come for me, baby,” Bucky whispered. “Roll over?”

Steve immediately rolled over onto his back and wrapped his legs gently, carefully around Bucky’s waist so as not to cause pain to his ribs. Even with one arm broken and his skin covered in sweat, Bucky managed to look smug and cocky as he always did. Steve grinned up at him as Bucky lined himself back up to Steve’s hole and pushed in easily. Bucky leaned down and captured Steve’s lips in a searing kiss as he rocked into Steve’s hole. Steve reached down, like he did with Thor and grabbed Bucky’s beautiful, muscled ass, kneading it as much as he could at this angle and wordlessly begging him to go deeper, to give him more. Bucky complied, fucking into him hard and fast.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Steve was aware of Thor cursing softly in Swedish. He glanced over at him in time to see Thor come, his seed shooting over his body and splattering his abs. 

“Fuck, babe,” Steve moaned. Bucky followed his gaze. 

“Well, well, looks like Sweden’s golden boy was the first to come,” he whispered. “Doesn’t he look beautiful like this. You could just lick it all up.”

“Fuck Bucky,” Steve groaned. He could feel his orgasm forming in the pit of his stomach, his balls starting to rise with the sound of Bucky’s hips smacking against him. Bucky’s cock reached deep inside him, hitting his prostate with every thrust and God, Steve felt like he was about to lose his mind in the best possible way. “I’m gonna come, Buck.”

Bucky took a cue from Thor’s playbook and leaned in to whisper into Steve’s ear. “Do it,” he hissed. “Come for us, baby doll.”

Steve came a second time that day with a cry, his cock more sensitive than it was the last time it happened and somewhere in the back of his mind he was vaguely aware that he hadn’t even been touched. His ass constricted around Bucky’s length and Bucky’s breathing became erratic. His thrusts became harder and faster, and in Steve’s sensitive, post-climax haze, it felt amazing, right up until Bucky moaned and gasped in his ear as he came inside him. Steve could feel Bucky’s cock pulse inside him as his lover fucked Steve’s ass through his orgasm. 

Bucky practically collapsed on top of him and kissed him. The man actually giggled into Steve’s mouth, but Steve couldn’t find it in himself to tease him about it at the moment. With what looked like the last of his energy, Bucky ripped the condom off and tossed it into the trash before he collapsed back next to Steve. Thor got up and walked into the bathroom, returning with a warm, damp washcloth. Thor wordlessly cleaned them both up, pausing every now and then to kiss them, their bodies, their lips, before settling back down on the bed.

“Not that I wish to appear lecherous,” Thor murmured. “But that was the sexiest, most alluring thing I have ever had the pleasure to see with my own two eyes.”

“It was pretty amazing,” Steve breathed. He was exhausted, actually. “I didn’t expect you to be such a dirty talker, Buck.”

Bucky was breathing hard himself and he just shrugged as he grinned. “So,” Bucky said after a moment. “Who won?”

“Beg pardon?” Thor asked. 

“Who won?” Bucky repeated. “Did Steve beg for mercy?”

“He did not,” Thor replied. “Though he did beg for you to fuck him before you made the challenge.”

“That doesn’t count,” Steve said, swatting him. “Who’s side are you on, anyway?”

“That depends, _älskling_ ,” Thor purred. “Do I get to see if I can make you beg for mercy?”

Steve actually groaned. “Later,” he replied. “I need a nap.”

“So it was a draw?” Bucky asked. 

“Hell no, it wasn’t a draw,” Steve protested. “I didn’t beg. Not after it mattered.”

“I think this needs a tie breaker, don’t you, Thor?” Bucky asked, leaning in to kiss Steve’s neck.

“You are absolutely correct,” Thor murmured with a grin. 

“I didn’t beg, though,” Steve insisted.

“Shh, doll,” Bucky whispered into his ear. “The day is young.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as far as first threesome-type-things go, I think that was pretty good. Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! <3
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense!


	50. Page of Coins (New Opportunity, Manifesting Desires)

“Do we have to do this?” Bucky asked. “It’s not like we haven’t been having safe sex.”

Thor sighed. They had discussed this several times in the past couple days, ever since their threesome. Steve had been the one to bring up the fact that they were all together and that they should probably get tested. Bucky was oddly weird about being in doctor settings for someone whose mother was a nurse. Thor honestly agreed with Steve on this one. Just because they were using condoms and having safe sex did not mean they should not get checked out. Hell, he had done this with his previous boyfriends and he had been monogamous with them.

“Yes Bucky,” Steve repeated for what seemed like the 100th time. “We need to get tested just to be sure.”

“This isn’t going to become a monthly thing, is it?” Bucky asked. “I mean, your mom always made sure that I used a condom and my mom scared me with horror stories about what would happen if I didn’t. Pretty sure I’m fine, Stevie.”

“I thought Baptists were somewhat… repressed about the subject of sex,” Thor said.

“They are,” Bucky replied. “But they also tend to think that using fear tactics will make their kids less curious about the whole thing.”

“Still, Steve’s right,” Ms. Rogers pointed out. “Getting tested is part of good sex practices. And if you three ever added someone else to your relationship, it would make your lives easier if you knew from the start that you were all clean.”

“Moooom,” Steve groaned, blushing. “I really think that three people in the relationship is enough for now.”

“Son, it was just a few months ago that you were completely okay with just Thor,” Ms. Rogers chided. “Now you have Bucky, too. Which is strange because I always figured that you would end up with him first. Anything could happen.”

“That’s fair, I suppose,” Steve admitted. “But… maybe we can start by just getting the hang of this before we think of any more.”

“So once we all get these tests back and we’re all clean,” Bucky said quietly, turning away from Steve’s mother. “Does anyone mind if we ditch the condoms?”

Thor and Steve blinked and looked at each other and glanced cautiously at Sarah. She gave no indication that she had heard. Thor honestly would not mind. He had given Steve a blowjob in the shower once and they were fine. Besides, to his knowledge, Thor was clean and Steve had been a virgin when they started dating. 

“I do not see the harm in it, personally,” Thor murmured. “What about you, Steve?”

“I… honestly haven’t thought about it too much,” Steve said. “But… if we’re all clean, then it shouldn’t be a problem as long as we all agree to not have sex with other people.”

“That goes without saying, love,” Thor said with a chuckle. “I am quite satisfied with our relationship in its current form.”

“Same,” Bucky agreed. “No worries on that front, Stevie.”

“Well, then I guess we can go for it,” Steve said, blushing furiously. 

“You know if you three are planning to stop using protection,” Sarah said. “At least two of you had the sense to get tested first.”

“Is that why you insist on bringing us, Sarah?” Bucky asked. 

“I suspected it might be the case. I am a nurse, after all. That, and I made an appointment as well,” she replied. A split second later, Steve’s brow furrowed and he looked at his mother.

“Huh now?” he asked.

“I am getting tested as well, Steve,” she repeated with a blush. “I’m 40, not dead.”

“I’m too young to be hearing this,” Steve said, covering his ears. Bucky cackled and gave her a high five. 

“Look on the bright side, Stevie,” Bucky said. “It could have been Frigga who said it.”

Thor groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

At that moment, a nurse came out to take Thor, Steve, and Bucky back to an exam room. The nurse had three forms for each of them and filled out each of them as she conducted the what seemed like an interview. Why they there (routine checkup), if they were all sexually active with each other (yes), how long they had been sexually active (Thor 16, Steve a few months, and Bucky 15, which surprised Thor), if they were experiencing any discomfort or symptoms (no), if they were using protection (yes), and if they had practiced any kink related sex (not yet). 

Then the interesting part began. The nurse took cheek swabs, had each of them pee in a cup, and took blood from each of their arms. It took longer for Steve than it did for Bucky and Thor. Bucky and Thor’s veins were relatively easy to find since they were athletic. The nurse spent a good while trying to find one of Steve’s veins, though. Finally, since they were all men, the nurse asked if they were willing to do an anal swab. Steve blushed red as a beet, but he nodded. Thor and Bucky were a little less bashful, but Thor definitely noticed Bucky blush slightly. As soon as it began it was over and the three of them were walking out of the clinic. They waited another 10 minutes for Ms. Rogers to emerge from her appointment.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Steve said. 

“Just tell me we won’t have to do it again any time soon,” Bucky groaned. “If we’re all clean, it shouldn’t be that big a deal.”

“Since you all have multiple partners,” Ms. Rogers said. “You should get tested every few months.”

“Wonderful,” Bucky grumbled.

“So, now what? We’re out,” Steve said, smiling. “We’re on spring break, Bucky’s on involuntary medical leave. You two wanna do something?”

“The trees are beginning to bloom,” Thor pointed out. “We could go to Central Park.”

Ms. Rogers smiled. “Well, whatever you boys decide, I need to get back and get ready for work tonight,” she said. “I’ll see you later.”

“I have another appointment in an hour about my arm and ribs,” Bucky said. “But you guys go have fun. Bring me a pretzel.”

Thor chuckled at that. They smiled as Bucky awkwardly kissed him and Steve goodbye. Then Thor held out his arm. Steve smiled and rolled his eyes, but slipped his arm through it. They walked arm in arm to the nearest metro station. There was a group of tourists. They must have been in middle school or early high school. They laughed discreetly at them as they took selfies at nearly every opportunity, at street corners, hot dog stands, waiting for the metro, on the metro, and literally everywhere they stopped to take any kind of break. 

Central Park was beautiful. Thor and Steve spent hours roaming around the park marveling at the blooming trees and other plant life. Steve’s favorite seemed to be the cherry blossoms, which seemed to be in full bloom. They paused under groves of trees and marveled at the way the light filtered through the petals. 

“I wish I had my sketchbook,” Steve said. “I’d love to see if I could draw this. Capture what it looks like.”

“I have nothing but faith in you, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied, pressing a kiss to Steve’s temple. Steve smiled and angled his face up to return the kiss. 

“I’ve missed this,” Steve confessed. “Is that terrible for me to say?”

“Why would it be terrible?” Thor asked. “I have missed this, too. Going out with you, being alone with you, just the two of us.”

“I just feel a little bad for thinking that way,” Steve said. “I love Bucky, and I haven’t been able to go out with him with everything going on. But I’ve still wanted to go out with you alone again.”

“I know,” Thor replied. He kissed Steve again. “We are here now. Come, let us enjoy this beautiful day together and spend no more time on these thoughts.”

They continued meandering through the park. Steve took pictures to try and draw later in case they didn’t make it back or in case the trees and flowers didn’t look the same when if they did. They eventually came to the Gapstow Bridge, arching gracefully over the pond. Steve took several pictures from different angles to reference later and Thor was nearly forgotten as the artist side of Steve took over. It was simple and beautiful, not like other ornate bridges in the park. Thor himself was fascinated by how the water reflected the bridge, the sky, and the blossoming trees by the water’s edge. 

“Have you ever been here in the fall?” Steve asked. 

“Love, what do you take me for?” Thor asked with a wry smile. “A tourist?”

Steve whacked him on the shoulder and Thor laughed. “You know what I mean,” he complained. 

“I do,” Thor chuckled, throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulders. “It is beautiful, but I am partial to the winter.”

“You would be,” Steve teased. “Viking blood makes you irrational.”

“I heard no complaints about the other benefits of my Viking blood the other day,” Thor purred against Steve’s ear. “You seemed to enjoy them then.”

Steve blushed but said nothing. Thor’s arm migrated from around Steve’s shoulders to around his waist, resting just above the curve of Steve’s ass. Steve cleared his throat and quickly changed the subject.

“We should come here sometime,” he said. “During the summer, maybe, when Bucky’s arm is healed. Make a day of it.”

“That does sound nice,” Thor agreed. “Picnicking and playing frisbee or football like one of those dates from the movies.”

Steve became wistful. “Do you think we’ll ever do it?” he asked. “Be able to go out, the three of us. Have fun and cuddle and do everything we’d do if there were only two of us.”

“Of course we will, Steve,” Thor said. “Just because it is difficult to do it now does not mean that it will never happen.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He did not have to. Thor could tell that he was stopping himself from asking about Sweden. It loomed like a dark cloud over what would otherwise have been a perfectly beautiful day. In truth, Thor was more hesitant about it than he normally was. He missed Sweden. Most years around this time he couldn’t wait for the school year to end so that he could go back, see his friends, play rugby, and travel. Of course, there was the other option Thor had been discussing with his mother and Steve’s…

“ _Älskling_ ,” he murmured. “If I were to ask you to come with me to Sweden during the summer, what would you say?”

Steve laughed before he looked up into Thor’s eyes and saw the sincerity in them. “You’re serious,” he said. Thor nodded. “Thor… I don’t know. I’d love to see Sweden, but… what about Bucky?”

“He could come, too,” Thor said. “I would hate to leave either of you here, to be without either of you. And… I miss Sweden, honestly.”

Steve thought for a moment. Thor could see the conflict in his eyes. Steve would never do something so selfish as to ask for something he wanted, it seemed. It was both endearing and annoying at times. But Thor could be selfish for him, offer the thing he wanted but could not express. 

“I want to,” Steve said. “But I won’t leave Bucky here alone. So if he said yes, then I would as well.”

Thor smiled. “We should talk to him soon, then,” Thor said.

“Do your parents know that you’re making this offer?” Steve asked. “Much as I’m looking forward to proving your dad wrong, I’d rather not him find out the day we head out that I’m tagging along to go traipsing across Europe.”

“We will not traipse, _älskling_ ,” Thor murmured. He took Steve’s hand and twirled him around. “We shall dance.”

Steve laughed and drew Thor to sit beneath a willow tree by the water’s edge. “What’s it like? Your home in Sweden, I mean.”

Thor frowned a bit confused. “I think I have told you everything about Sweden that I can think of,” Thor said.

It was Steve’s turn to look confused. “When was that?” he asked. “Aside from that night after the game.”

“Well… usually it’s when you’re…” Thor said, before he realized what he was saying. “When you’re having a panic attack.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “You should know… after the first couple minutes of a panic attack, I tend not to understand what people are saying. Whether you’re speaking English or not, it’s all the same to me. Sorry.”

“It is okay,” Thor said brightly. “Now I can tell you about them again and it will be happier this time!”

Steve smiled at that and laced their fingers together. Thor launched into an explanation about where his family lived in Sweden, how they lived in Stockholm, what the city was like, all the touristy things people do in the city, the rugby club Thor was part of, and his friends, who were also part of the rugby club. 

“They let women be part of rugby?” Steve said in disbelief. “Isn’t it bad enough that there are men who are that reckless?” 

“I believe my friend Sif would challenge you to a round for that insult,” Thor chuckled. 

“I believe she would probably kill me,” Steve replied. 

“She would not kill you, love,” Thor murmured. “Maim, perhaps. But I would not let her kill you.”

“Somehow your willingness to let her maim me doesn’t make me feel better,” Steve said. “I’m like, 110 pounds of skin and bone and your friend sounds like she could grind me up and spit me out like it was nothing.”

“Well, if you wish to be unharmed, then you shall not mention it to her unless you gain 100 pounds by then,” Thor said, kissing the tip of Steve’s nose. “Until then, I shall protect you. And Bucky, too, I suspect.”

“Are you two my bodyguards or my boyfriends?” Steve asked with a grin. Thor leaned in to press a kiss to his cheeks. 

“I do not see why we cannot be both,” Thor replied. 

“I think I can live with that,” Steve smiled.

* * *

Steve loved spending time with his boyfriends, but honestly after everything that happened this weekend, he was feeling exhausted. It was nice to spend some time by himself. He had leafed through the pictures on his phone and decided that he was going to draw the bridge, with the blooming trees around it. He considered adding some petals floating gently on the water. It would be a good addition. Steve also looked at a picture of the willow tree he and Thor had sat beneath while Thor told him about Sweden, things that he had apparently told Steve before, but Steve had no memory of. 

Now, though, he was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling. He was still mulling over Thor’s offer from earlier in the afternoon. It was a solution to the problem that Sweden presented to their situation. Steve was trying to imagine himself wandering across Europe with Bucky and Thor. It was certainly an attractive idea. Steve had never imagined himself being able to travel anywhere, probably staying in New York for the rest of his life. There were worse places to make a life. 

And yet… the chance to actually go somewhere, on an adventure… it was exciting. Part of Steve felt guilty for wanting to go, for wanting to leave his mom behind and go gallivanting off to God knows where. 

He rolled off the bed and walked out to the living room. His mom was still out at work, but she would return in a few minutes and she would stay up for a couple hours before going to bed. She tended to decompress after her shifts, drinking herbal tea and sitting quietly on the sofa. Sometimes Steve joined her is he was still awake or if her shift ended in the afternoon or early evening. He wished that she didn't have to work so hard, but she refused to let him get a job.

Steve took out the kettle, filled it with water and set it on the stove to boil. Then he sat on the sofa and turned the Mets game on. He didn't pay much attention to it, though.

I wish I could just keep everyone here or take everyone there, he thought. His decision would be so much easier if he could do either of those things. If he could somehow bring Thor's family to New York, if he could somehow convince their landlord to let them not pay the bills for a few months so his mom could come with him. It was honestly pathetic that he couldn't make a simple decision like this without being worried or scared to leave his mother.

At that moment, his mom turned the lock and walked into the apartment with a sigh. She immediately stepped out of her shoes and dropped her purse on the kitchen table. The kettle started to whistle and Steve wordlessly got up and headed over to pour water into a couple mugs.

“I've got this,” he said. “You get out of those work clothes.”

She gave him a tired smile. “Thanks, son.”

By the time she emerged in pajama pants and an old t-shirt, Steve had her tea ready and handed her a cup. They sat together on the sofa, sipping their tea and watching the Mets. They were winning. That's all that mattered at the moment.

“Winifred asked me to thank you,” she said. 

“What for?”

“She says that Bucky is much happier now than he has been in a long time,” his mom answered. “She assumed you were responsible.”

“Well,” he said taking a long drink from his tea. “She's sort of right. She's not wrong anyway.”

His mom gave a rueful laugh. Steve laughed with after a moment. That was a conversation he knew Bucky wouldn't be ready for any time soon. Steve was hoping that he would be there if Bucky ever decided that he wanted to come out to his parents. Not that he saw it happening, but… it could. And it probably wouldn't go well if it did. 

“What did you say to her?”

“Oh I told her that I was proud of you and that Bucky would come through,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Any more than that seemed unnecessary.”

Steve blushed and took another drink of his tea. His mother chuckled at his expense.

“I am, you know,” she said. “I am proud of you. And happy for you. I'm glad that you found Thor and Bucky. You three are good for each other.”

“Thanks mom,” he replied. His blush was surely creeping over his chest now. “What about you and Mr. Baker? Are you happy?”

It was her turn to blush and smile and hide her face in her drink. Steve wasn't sure if he wanted to know the reason behind her smile.

“Things are going well, thank you,” she said. “What about you? I know there was some difficulty adjusting for a while.”

“I was able to convince them to set aside their differences, anyway,” he said. “I still can't believe that you weren't surprised that Bucky joined us.”

“Please, Steve,” she chided, looking at him out of the side of her eyes. “Anyone with eyes could tell how he felt about you. It wasn't exactly unexpected.”

“Except for me, apparently,” he said with a chuckle. “And his mom.”

“Winifred is… well, love often leads us to ignore obvious truths when we'd rather they not be true,” she said regretfully. 

Steve downed the last of his drink. “Well, on an unrelated note, I…” he said. “I have something to tell you.”

His mom looked at him, her eyes full of concern. “What is it, dear?”

Steve swallowed and took a deep breath. “Thor's asked me to go to Sweden with him this summer.”

Her eyebrows shot up. Then her face exploded in a wide grin. “Steve, that's wonderful!” she cheered. “You're going to have so much fun! Is Bucky going? You can't leave him here.”

“Wait,” he replied, “You _want_ me to go? Across the world? To Europe?”

“Don't tell me that you were thinking about staying for my benefit,” she said, glaring at him. He blushed and she gasped. “You were! Oh my God. You were going to pass up a once in a lifetime chance to stay here with me!”

“You're welcome?” he asked.

“Steve, you're my only child and the light of my life,” she deadpanned. “But don't be an idiot.”

Steve’s blush grew, he was sure of it. “Well, it's not as if anything's been decided yet,” he demurred. “We haven't asked Bucky yet. He wasn't there when Thor asked me.”

“Might want to get on that,” she advised. “Summer will be here before you know it.”

Somehow, those words weren't as comforting as they usually were. But they weren't as scary as they could have been, either. Steve tried to focus on that silver lining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	51. Knight of Wands (Pent-up Energy, Frustration)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot that today was Tuesday, guys. Sorry about that.

The next morning, Bucky woke up completely sick of the cast on his arm. He was tired of not being able to use one of his hands effectively. He was tired of having to sleep on his right side instead of his left and waking up with his arm propped awkwardly over his head as he had rolled over on his stomach in the night. He was tired of his ribs hurting whenever he got up or sat down. He was tired of wearing that damned bag over his arm every time he got in the goddamned shower.

Most of all, though, he was tired of not being able to do anything. This time of year, he and Steve would be hitting the batting cages, playing ball, or at least playing video games. He couldn't reliably do any of those things. Add to the fact that his boyfriends were usually in school all day, he spent most days lazing around flipping through channels on tv or Pandora or Spotify or Netflix. He was itching to go do something other than sit around on his ass.

He groaned as he got up to look at his clock. It was almost noon. And it was a Tuesday. If he was at Penn State, he'd be in his General Psychology class by now. He couldn't believe that he was missing college. 

He was hanging out with Thor today. Steve claimed that he had studying to do. Which meant that Steve was tired and needed to rest, but he didn't want to tell them that he didn't feel like hanging out. Steve was one of those introverts who were too considerate to tell people that they didn't feel like spending time with anyone.

Bucky groaned and got up. At least he was getting out of the apartment today. His mom was home from work and he didn't really feel like talking to her today. Bucky was beginning to suspect that she was becoming curious about his chronically good mood. 

He showered as quickly as he could with the wrap around his arm. As soon as he was dressed he rushed out the door before his mom could ask what was going on. It hurt, but he knew that she wouldn't approve if she found out. Actually, her finding out was probably the worst thing that could happen.

* * *

Bucky walked the entire way to Thor's house. It was the only kind of exercise he ever got these days, so Bucky took every opportunity to do it, even if it was just a walk or two around the block. When he arrived Mr. Baker told him that Thor was in the workout room. He headed straight there rather than wait for him to finish.

Thor was listening to loud rock music. Led Zeppelin. Bucky’s eyebrows rose appreciatively. He didn't peg Thor to be the rock and roll type. Actually, he didn't know much about him at all, come to think of it. He felt a pang of guilt at that. He was supposed to be Thor's boyfriend, yet Bucky knew more about him sexually than personally.

Thor didn't notice his arrival, so Bucky walked up to him. He was doing bench presses. Heavy ones. Bucky took a minute to appreciate the way Thor's muscles bulged with the exertion. Thor's shirt was drenched in sweat, his hair tied back and his beard was soaked. It was gross. And oddly enticing.

Thor finished his rep and the weights clanged into the rack above him. Thor sat up and did a double take as he noticed Bucky from where he was leaning against the wall. 

“Bucky, you are here,” Thor said lamely. Bucky could barely hear him over the music. Thor grabbed a remote and turned it down. “Sorry, I did not hear you come in.”

“It’s no problem, Thor,” Bucky said. 

“Let me get cleaned up,” Thor huffed. “I did not realize it was so late.”

“Actually,” Bucky interjected. He swallowed. “Do you mind if I join you?” 

“Are you sure?” Thor asked, looking at his cast. Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“I still have one good arm, two good legs, and a lot of pent up energy,” Bucky said. He gestured down at his gym shorts and t-shirt. “And it’s not like I’m not already dressed in workout clothes. I’ll just raid your wardrobe after we’re done.”

Thor smiled. There was a strange look in his eye. Like hunger. Bucky grinned at the look. 

“Focus, Odinson,” Bucky murmured. “Time for the cooldown later.”

Bucky warmed up and went to the rack of barbells and started doing reps with the one arm that was good for anything. Thor joined him, taking a weight in each hand. They snuck glances at each other the entire workout. Bucky watched the way Thor’s muscles moved under his shirt. Thor seemed to appreciate the way Bucky’s arm moved as well. Bucky wished he was capable of more, but he was able to complete a set of reps and he couldn’t deny that he missed this feeling. Sweat glistening on his body, the rush of endorphins, and muscles straining at the effort to lift weights that he hadn’t done since before the accident. 

“Be careful not to tax yourself overmuch,” Thor said, his voice straining with the effort of lifting his weights. “It would not do to hurt yourself further.”

“Don’t you worry, sweetheart,” Bucky replied with a challenging smirk. “I can handle myself.”

The workout lasted until Bucky’s arm felt like a noodle and he set the barbell back on the rack and braced himself against the wall to catch his breath. A few minutes later, Mr. Baker entered the room with a sleeve for his cast, a fresh towel, and a spare change of clothes. 

“So,” Bucky said, pushing himself off the wall. “You want the first shower or do you me to take it?”

“I was rather hoping we would shower together,” Thor replied. 

“I’d love to, but,” Bucky said as he held up his left arm. “I’m not sure getting frisky in the shower is such a good idea.”

“We shall be cautious, and do nothing you do not wish to,” Thor promised. Bucky thought for a moment before he gave a somewhat hesitant nod. 

True to his word, Thor did not move to do anything sexual with Bucky. He did, however, do something Bucky was not expecting. Thor washed his body. Not in the quick and efficient way that Bucky had tried to do when he showered, either. Thor was slow, methodical. Thor’s hands roamed and wandered over Bucky’s body, lathering his body up. Thor didn’t shy away from any part of his body. Not Bucky’s groin, or his ass, or any of it. When it came time to wash Bucky’s legs, Thor knelt before him in the shower and Bucky’s heart hurt as he looked down into Thor’s eyes and saw such affection in his eyes. 

“What troubles you, _mitt hjärta_?” Thor asked, as his hands ran over Bucky’s muscled thighs. “I see it in your eyes.”

“It’s nothing,” Bucky says automatically. Thor didn’t say anything in response. His hands simply kept washing him. 

“You know,” Thor said. “When my first boyfriend was a fellow rugby player in Sweden.”

“No kidding?” Bucky asked. “Sounds hot.”

Thor chuckled at that. “He was, the sex was hot,” Thor confirmed. “But he used to lie constantly, and used sex to get back into my good graces. If that didn’t work, he would say something along the lines of something being wrong with him to make me feel guilty for being angry with him.”

“That sounds terrible,” Bucky whispered. He barely felt the water falling on his skin anymore. Bucky wanted to beat whoever that was up. Thor was too good to hurt like that.

“I used to tell my family that it was fine when they asked what was wrong,” Thor continued. “Loki was the only one who figured out what was going on. After my boyfriend tried to sleep with him.”

“Shit, that’s low,” Bucky whispered again. He stretched out a hand to rest against the side of Thor’s head. Thor closed his eyes. These memories must be painful to share, Bucky realized. “What happened?”

“Loki stabbed him. Nonlethally,” Thor said. “When we broke up, I kept saying the same thing. ‘It is nothing.’ ‘I am fine’. It was always a lie.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. He did, however, sit down on the ledge in front of him and leaned forward. Thor took his face in his large, callused hands and pressed his forehead to Bucky’s. Bucky took a breath. 

“I just… my mom…” he stuttered. Bucky didn’t know how to bring it up. Thor sat next to him.

“I am here, Bucky,” Thor whispered. “It will be okay.”

“I’m happy, you know,” Bucky said. “I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been. And honestly, I never thought that it would come like this.”

Thor huffed a laugh. “Neither did I, if I am honest.”

“My mom… she’s been wondering what’s been going on,” he said. “But… remember Sophia?”

_Dammit, you’re rambling, Barnes_ , he chastised himself. Still, Thor nodded. 

“The only reason I know her is because my mom used to take us to her restaurant until I was 12,” Bucky explained. “Then one day we went to the restaurant and Sophia introduced us to her head chef/fiancé.”

Bucky took a deep breath. 

“My mother hasn’t spoken to her since. Sophia is her twin sister and she wrote her out of her entire life and she’s known Sophia her entire life,” Bucky said. “What’ll she do to me when she find out?” 

Bucky realized he was crying. Not from sadness. Okay, maybe a little sadness. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t mind his mom not accepting him for this didn’t make him a little sad. But mostly he was afraid. She could kick him out. What would he do then? Go to his aunts? To Thor? To Steve? Would he become the hobo boyfriend, couch surfing until he somehow found a way to be self-sufficient by working 2.5 jobs and getting home so tired that he wouldn’t be able to do anything with his boyfriends in the 3 hours between jobs?

“ _Mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor whispered, kissing his temple as he held Bucky. “We will figure it out. You, Steve, and I. Together.”

Bucky wasn’t sure how they got to naked cuddling in the shower while he cried on someone’s shoulder, but suddenly that’s exactly what they were doing. Bucky listened as Thor murmured sweet nothings in his ear. It was oddly comforting. Bit by bit, Bucky felt the tears falling down his face taper off. Thor held him until he straightened. 

“Sorry about that,” he murmured, sniffing. “Didn’t mean to get into the heavy shit there.”

“ _Mitt hjärta_ , I do not know what you are apologizing for,” Thor said. “We are a team. We support each other, all of us. Do not ever think that I would not wish to see you cry when you are troubled.”

“You can’t say that you like seeing me cry,” Bucky replied. “I know I hate it when people see it.”

“No, it does not please me,” Thor agreed. “I cannot understand her religion’s obsession with sex, especially gay sex. But I would not have you deal with this alone. Nor would Steve. We would rather you tell us.”

Bucky wasn’t sure what to do with this information. He felt warm in his chest, but that might have been the fact that they were sitting under a torrent of the hottest, most beautiful shower Bucky had ever seen in his life. Bucky took Thor’s hand and held it. They were quiet for a while, the water cascading down their bodies. Bucky lost track of time, but it was definitely long enough for his body to become wrinkled. 

“We should finish up,” Bucky murmured against Thor’s shoulder. “Can’t spend all day in here, even if you are kinda comfy.”

“We may certainly continue when we are done,” Thor agreed. Bucky smiled and got up. He fetched the shampoo from where Thor had placed it. It was a bit clumsy for a time, but he finally managed to get the bottle open so he could pour shampoo directly onto Thor’s head. Thor hummed contentedly as Bucky cleaned his hair, massaging Thor’s scalp methodically, if somewhat more awkwardly than he would with two hands. Thor did not seem to mind. He merely allowed Bucky to do what he would. When he was done, Thor applied the conditioner and rose to return the favor. Bucky cleaned Thor’s body before they both washed the conditioner out. 

Thor helped Bucky dry, showing as much care and attention to the task as he had the washing of Bucky’s body. Bucky didn’t want to admit it, but part of him liked it, being cared for. Steve would probably rankle at this. He liked being independent and hated anyone doing something for him. Doing something for someone else? Absolutely. Someone else doing that same thing for him? Never. But honestly, it felt nice. 

A few minutes later they were up the stairs with Bucky tucked into the side of Thor’s body with his head on Thor’s left shoulder. Thor was playing one of Bucky’s favorite games, _Dragon Age: Origins_. Bucky had been positively thrilled when Thor mentioned that he was a fan of anything involving fantasy, especially when he mentioned _Dragon Age_. 

“Your healer is dying,” Bucky observed. Thor cursed in Swedish. “Seriously she’s on her last—she’s dead.”

Thor roared in anger and frustration while he desperately tried to finish the fight in one piece. It was on the hardest difficulty, though, so it was easier said than done. Thor managed it, if barely and he slumped back against the couch as they were out of danger. Bucky laughed at him. 

“Sweetheart, I could do better than that and I have one usable hand,” Bucky teased. “This is why I prefer to be an archer. Get to stay out of danger.”

“Coward,” Thor accused. “At least I get to be in the thick of the action. Glory and honor on the battlefield.”

“You just like the cool kills you get, just admit it,” Bucky replied.

“There may be something to what you say,” Thor muttered. 

Bucky dozed as Thor was playing the game, lulled to sleep to the sound of Thor’s party fighting and dismembering monsters, as well as Thor’s periodic grunts, growls, and cheers. He woke up some time later and noticed that the game was silent. Thor had laid down, his head resting on the arm of the couch. Bucky’s head was no longer on Thor’s shoulder, either. His head was resting on Thor’s chest. He felt Thor’s chest rise and fall steadily, his heart beating softly within. There weren’t any other sounds, aside from the distant sounds of a game of some sort downstairs. Bucky rolled over on his stomach and fell back asleep. For some reason, he smiled as he smelled Thor’s soap. It was nice. In Bucky’s sleep addled mind, he was vaguely aware that he also smelled like Thor. 

There was a sense of comfort and security that Bucky had never felt before being in a relationship with Thor. Like he was being protected, cared for. Bucky wondered if Steve had felt this way around Bucky back when Bucky was the one to protect him from bullies and save him when situations got hairy. 

Bucky put that thought aside. There was no point in being jealous of Thor just because he had been with Steve longer. Steve wouldn’t have made the offer for Bucky to be part of their relationship if he didn’t want Bucky there. If he didn’t feel safe around Bucky, there would be no question of Bucky ever being there at all. 

If this is what it felt like, though, whatever it was Steve felt for them, it was nice. Bucky loved Steve, he knew that, but he loved Steve in the way that he wanted to protect Steve and take care of him. The being cared for part, that was difficult for Bucky. It was hard sometimes to remember that what he was taught, that men were the ones who cared for and provided for their family and loved ones, was hard to get away from sometimes. And Bucky did like doing that for Steve, but it felt good to be the one who was cared for. 

He had no sooner thought the thought than Bucky felt Thor’s hand rise and his fingers tangle in Bucky’s hair. It was getting too long. It was nearly down to his shoulders now. Steve seemed to like it, though. Maybe it was the fact that he was used to Thor, who’s long, soft strands went past his shoulders and down the middle of his back. Maybe Steve had a thing for guys with long hair. Thor seemed to like it too, though. He had pulled it during sex often enough. Bucky would be lying if he said that he didn’t like it. It was somehow more satisfying when Bucky’s hair was long than when it was short. Having a partner’s hands running through his hair was always one of his favorite things. His hair being long just made it… easier, in a way. 

The gentle stroking and massaging lulled Bucky back to sleep. Bucky let himself surrender to that feeling of safety and security that came with lying in Thor’s arms. His last thought before he dozed back off was to wonder when the last time he had felt so peaceful had been.

* * *

Bucky awoke to the sound of pencils scratching paper. Which was an odd sound, because he was fairly sure that Thor couldn’t draw and Loki was probably one of those people who focused more on painting than anything else. He slowly opened his eyes. On the couch opposite Bucky and Thor, Steve sat sketching something. Steve glanced up for a moment and gave Bucky a small smile before returning his attention to his drawing. Bucky blushed. Steve had never drawn Bucky, to his knowledge. 

“Morning,” Steve said cheerfully, but quietly. “Sleep well?” 

“Um… y-yeah,” Bucky replied. 

Bucky stole a quick glance up at Thor. He was still sleeping soundly, his hand still tangled in Bucky’s hair. He didn’t say anything. Thor’s face was so peaceful as he slept. Thor sometimes seemed to carry so much on his broad, powerful shoulders. Bucky wondered sometimes what could possibly be going through his mind, what troubles could be weighing him down. Some selfish part of him just wanted to know whether Bucky was part of that weight, if he was a burden for him. Bucky closed his eyes in an effort to banish the thought. 

“Watcha drawin’ punk?” Bucky asked. Steve paused for a moment, the sound of his drawing ceasing just long enough for Bucky to know that he was thinking. 

“You and Thor,” Steve murmured. “You two look cute like this.”

“Didja get my good side?” Bucky asked, smiling. 

“I gave you a metal arm instead of the cast,” Steve replied. Bucky’s eyes flew open and he grinned.

“Wait, really?” he demanded. “That sounds fuckin’ awesome!”

“Would you really want to lose an arm and have it replaced by a cybernetic prosthesis?” Steve asked bemusedly. Steve returned his attention to his drawing and shook his head good-naturedly. “Seems like it would be kind of a pain to deal with, to me.”

“Hey, as long as I can make it move, maybe shoot laser beams or if it game me super strength or something,” Bucky replied. “There are worse things in the world than having a technologically enhanced super body.”

“As long as you still function where it counts,” Steve said, a gleam of mischief in his eyes. Bucky gasped. 

“You only like me for my cock!” he accused. “Well, fine! At least Thor likes me for something other than my body.”

“Yes, but you do have a nice body,” Thor rumbled above him. “And your cock is wonderful, would you not agree, Steve?” 

Steve hummed in agreement, but his cheeks quickly turned a shade pinker. He returned to his drawing. Thor looked over and smiled at him before he carefully extracted himself from beneath Bucky and headed out the door and down the hall. Bucky rolled over on his back and looked over at Steve.

“What happened to, ‘I have to get some studying done’?” Bucky asked with a sly grin. “Thought you were trying to be that annoyingly good student who has to stay on top of things even during spring break.”

“Well, I got some done,” Steve replied. “Now I’m working on something for art class. Besides, I got bored and there really isn’t much to draw where I live. Also mom and Mr. Baker were… planning something.”

“Planning something?” Bucky asked, his grin growing. “Do tell, Stevie! Romantic dinner for two in the apartment? Did they kick you out? Are they gonna have some crazy old people sex?”

“Buck, this is my mom we’re talking about!” Steve protested, his face growing even pinker. “I really don’t need that image in my head, you jerk!”

“So they did kick you out!” Bucky crowed. “Damn, kid! Like mom like son! You both got some game.”

“Please stop talking about my mom like that,” Steve said, squeezing his eyes shut. “So what did you and Thor do today?”

Bucky grinned at the not-so-subtle change in subject. “We worked out,” he replied. Steve looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Hey, my left arm is useless, not my right. Then we showered, and then there was Dragon Age, and then I fell asleep.”

“Thor has Dragon Age?” Steve asked, his face lighting up. “Really?” 

“You are a fan, älskling?” Thor asked. “Funny, I would not have expected you to be into that sort of thing.”

“I’m not as into it as I would like to be,” Steve admitted. “We don’t have the game system, so I don’t actually get to play that much. But I have played some, and I like it.”

“He prefers Mass Effect, though,” Bucky supplied. Thor groaned at that.

“What’s wrong with Mass Effect?” Steve demanded.

“I dislike games with guns,” Thor replied. “I am not skilled at aiming properly. Also, I simply prefer fantasy as opposed to science fiction.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” Steve said. “Besides, I’m an American, I’m practically required to like games with guns.”

Thor rolled his eyes at that. “Americans,” he muttered, though there was something of an amused smile on his face. 

“You watch your tone, there, sweetheart,” Bucky warned. “Or your American boyfriends will go on a date without you next time.”

“Our first date and it’ll be to spite our Swedish boyfriend,” Steve mused. “I’ll take it, I suppose.”

“It’s not our first date!” Bucky protested. “We’ve been together for weeks, how is it supposed to be the first date?”

“You were recovering for two of those weeks,” Steve pointed out. “And I was studying for the AP exams that happened a week ago. Also there was that issue with you and Thor that you had to take care of.”

Bucky blushed at that. He still kind of felt bad that he had been that way with Thor. Rationally, he knew that they had made up, but he still kicked himself sometimes for that. He’d probably be using a punching bag right now if he had use of both his arms. Bucky hated that he had been jealous of Thor. They loved each other. Bucky knew that Steve at least loved him, but there was also part of him that wondered if Thor could love Bucky, too, or if they would always be something more than fuck buddies but less than whatever it was they each had with Steve.

“We must remedy this at once,” Thor grumbled. “It is not right that I have lain with Bucky and been on a date with him, yet Steve has not.”

“Hey, I had sex with him, too!” Steve said.

Thor hummed wistfully. “Yes you did, I was there,” he purred. Bucky felt himself stir at the implication. “I had no idea you were so… durable, love, before that day.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Thor,” Steve replied. “I like that you’re gentle and loving. I also like Bucky’s style. He does it well.”

“Thor does it well, too, honestly,” Bucky said with a sly grin. Thor actually blushed at that. Steve gasped, his face going completely red and his eyes dark with arousal. Bucky grinned. “You really should feel it, Stevie. The way he gets when he loses control and goes fast and hard. It’s incredible, doll.”

He could see Steve and Thor undressing each other with their eyes. There was a sweet kind of tension that filled the air, the kind where they were all thinking about that same image, but trying desperately to stay on topic and save that particular event for some later occasion. Which would probably be sooner rather than later, in all honesty. Bucky wondered if they would let him stay to watch, if Steve would be okay with that. 

“Anyway,” Steve said huskily. “About that date that we haven’t gone on, Buck.”

“Right. Yes,” Bucky replied. “Does tomorrow work for you? Nothing fancy, just… you know, bowling or something.”

Bucky breathed a silent sigh of relief as Steve, his Stevie, smiled. “I’d love to, Buck,” he said. “Can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	52. 6 of Wands (Progress, Confidence)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: panic attack

Bucky woke up the next day with Steve nestled beneath his chin on one side and Thor wrapped around his body from the other. It was always awkward sleeping like this with a broken arm. Sleeping with one partner was awkward enough, but two and being in the middle? That was just plain strange. Rolling over in the middle of the night was awkward, especially since Steve was surprisingly cuddly. No matter what position Bucky had been in last night, Steve had found a way to lie on top of him. It was sort of endearing, when Bucky didn’t have to worry about waking him in the middle of the night. 

As his mind came awake, he realized that he had said that he would take Steve bowling for their first date. Part of him was kicking himself for thinking of such a cheesy date idea. They had just gone bowling a month ago for his birthday, for God’s sake! What had given him the idea that doing that again was a good idea? He should have thought of something more romantic, more special for a first date? Who goes bowling for a first date, anyway?

_Well you did take Thor to a mini golf course for your first date with him_ , a voice in the back of his mind pointed out. That didn’t help. Mini golf was a way to get to know Thor, to have fun before going to dinner. This… he knew Steve. Bucky already knew what Steve was like, what pissed him off, what made him smile, everything. Why go bowling? 

Next to him, Steve was beginning to stir. He nuzzled Bucky’s prickly facial hair before he laid a soft kiss to his lips. Bucky almost didn’t mind Steve’ morning breath as he returned it. Steve hummed with delight. He never said it, but Bucky got the feeling Steve kind of liked the whole beard burn thing. Or at least the feeling of kissing someone with a beard. It made sense. Thor had a beautiful beard, well-groomed and cared for. Bucky’s facial hair wasn’t like that, though. It was short and stubbly and it probably scratched Steve’s smooth, soft skin. Maybe he actually liked that, too, who knows?

“Morning, doll,” Bucky murmured. He wasn’t sure where that had come from, but Steve seemed to like it, so it stuck. “Sleep well?”

“Not really,” Steve replied. “Anxiety’s been giving me a rough time of it lately.”

Bucky nodded. “How long you been off your meds, now?”

“A couple months now,” Steve replied. “Since a week or two before Valentine’s Day, I think.”

“How you been holding up?” Bucky asked. 

“Depends on the day, really,” Steve replied, rolling over on his back. “Some days I’m fine, other days I need a little more conscious effort to not let my anxiety run rampant. It’s been a difficult few days.”

“You wanna tell me what you’re worried about?” Bucky asked. 

“You’ll think it’s stupid,” Steve said, turning his head away. “Anyway it’s not that big a deal.”

“Sure it’s not,” Bucky said. “But it’s eatin’ at you, so it’s worth talkin’ about.”

Steve was silent for a moment before he turned his head back towards Bucky. Steve’s eyes were shining with unshed tears, but he smiled at Bucky. Bucky smiled back, hoping that it would be some kind of encouragement. He really was at a loss for what to do when Steve was like this. He wasn’t a counselor or a psychologist or anything like that. He was just Steve’s friend, his boyfriend, now. And aside from Steve’s mom, Bucky had probably known about Steve’s illness for the longest. The rumors about him being physically sickly when he was missing school were all wrong, sort of. Steve’s illness was in his mind, it always had been. No one believed it, though. Steve was small and a bit frail, especially in the last couple years. It didn’t take much convincing for people to come up with all kinds of ideas about what disease Steve could have had. There had even been someone who thought it was cancer. Bucky just wanted to help him, however he could. 

“I’m just… sometimes it feels overwhelming, you know?” Steve asked. “This relationship we have.”

Bucky nodded. It was certainly a lot to process sometimes. 

“And sometimes I catch myself wondering if I’m doing everything right,” Steve continued. “Like, if I’m spending too much time around you or Thor or if I should be backing off to let you two figure out your thing or if I should be trying to spend some time with just you so we can figure out what we’re like together cause you’re my best friend, but that’s not really the same thing as being boyfriends, is it?”

“No, not really,” Bucky replied. 

“Right so, I don’t really know what to do, like ever,” Steve said. “Yesterday when I got here and I saw you and Thor sleeping together on the couch, I had to pause because I didn’t know if you two would be okay with me drawing you but then you looked so…”

“It’s okay, Stevie,” Bucky murmured. “I didn’t mind. Actually, I kinda liked it, being drawn. I remember you showing me pictures of Thor that you drew at the beginning of the year. To be honest, I was always kinda jealous that you had been so eager to draw him and not me.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Bucky said. “It’s okay and there’s no harm done, right? Besides, Thor seems okay with it and I’m okay with it. Draw us however you like.”

Steve smiled. “Thanks, Buck.”

“You may wish to take that back, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor rumbled as he came awake. “The first time we had anal sex he said he wanted to draw me like that.”

“You makin’ dirty pics of Thor?” Bucky asked, his eyebrows, rising. “Damn, Stevie! Never thought I’d see the day! Did you actually draw him like one of your French girls? If the French girl was pounding into you, anyway.”

“Actually I was the one on top that time. He begged me to go harder,” Steve said with a mischievous grin. Bucky’s jaw dropped and he rolled over to stare at Thor, who was pretending to have gone back to sleep after that initial interjection. It was a bit awkward and uncomfortable given Bucky’s ribs and his arm, but he made do. Bucky was trying to imagine it, Steve Rogers, tiny, unassuming Steve Rogers, had topped the great and powerful Thor Odinson. 

“Can I get the details about this?” Bucky asked, enthusiastically. “And why haven’t I topped you yet? You been holding out on me, Odinson!”

“I have not felt like it and you never asked,” Thor said noncommittally. “Besides, I prefer to top, if I have the choice, but everyone should be able to try both to see what they like.”

“Doggy style,” Steve said with a grin. Bucky gasped. Thor chuckled at that and judging by the smile on his face he had not thought it was half bad at the time. 

“So you were going to draw Thor on his knees with his ass in the air?” Bucky asked. “Can I see that?” 

“Maybe if you asked nicely you could see it for yourself,” Steve suggested.

“Hey Thor, could you please stick your ass in the air?” Bucky asked.

Thor made a noncommittal sound. Bucky looked up at his face and saw that he was grinning in spite of himself. Bucky decided to accept the challenge and began to pepper Thor’s face with gentle, if slightly heated kisses.

“Please, sweetheart?” Bucky asked. “Come on, babe. Pretty please? I’ll make pancakes.”

“Your mom’s pancakes?” Steve asked excitedly. _Jackpot_ , Bucky thought.

“Yup, the old family recipe,” Bucky said with a grin.

“Babe please bend over for him,” Steve begged. 

“They are pancakes, _älskling_ ,” Thor murmured. “How much better can they possibly be?”

“You give him what he wants and you’ll find out,” Steve promised. “His family’s pancakes are the best I’ve ever had.”

Thor opened one eye and studied them for a while before he sighed and rolled over to assume the position that he had apparently taken when Steve had fucked him. It was stunning. Bucky could swear that Thor was smirking at him, though his hair obscured Thor’s face somewhat. 

“Sweetheart,” Bucky said huskily. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Be my guest,” Thor replied. Bucky slowly pulled down Thor’s pajama pants to reveal his gorgeous ass. Bucky grinned and raised his hand to smack Thor’s ass. His hand landed with a satisfying crack and Thor moaned slightly. And with that, Bucky pulled Thor’s pants back up, his hand running over Thor’s now clothed ass. “Be careful,” Thor warned. “You will not get around to keeping up your end of the bargain if you keep this up.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Bucky asked. Steve hit his shoulder. 

“Yes, because now I want pancakes,” Steve replied, getting up and throwing a shirt on and heading out the door. Thor and Bucky stared fondly after him until he was out of sight. 

“So bossy,” Bucky murmured, awkwardly throwing on a shirt, himself. Thor chuckled at that before he also got up. He didn’t bother with a shirt, but then again, he had nothing to hide like Steve did. Steve tended to keep his scars close to the vest. Few knew and Steve preferred it that way.

“Indeed, but we do love him for a reason,” Thor replied. Then he did something Bucky didn’t expect. Thor held out his hand. Bucky hesitated for a moment before he took it and they walked hand in hand down to the kitchen. Mrs. Bianchi was thrilled to hear that someone else was doing the cooking, though she took some insistence from Thor before she agreed to let a guest cook at her stove. Bucky took some time to acclimate himself to the kitchen before he got to work. Bucky was hesitant to use an electric mixer, but seeing as he could only use one arm, he made do. Soon, he was stacking up big, fluffy pancakes for his boyfriends sitting on the island. 

Steve dug in like a ruthless savage, practically drowning his pancakes in butter and maple syrup. Bucky smiled in satisfaction as Steve moaned appreciatively at his first bite. Thor, meanwhile, was a little more restrained as he tried the pancakes. Until he actually tasted them and his eyes widened. Bucky laughed triumphantly as Thor also began digging in, but more slowly to as to savor the taste. Bucky stacked up some pancakes for himself and tried them. They were good, but his mom made them better. There was something just a bit off with these than from the way she made them. 

“Where did you learn how to cook, Bucky?” Thor asked. 

“Growing up in an Italian family is good for something,” Bucky replied with a smile. 

“Have you considered getting a job with your aunt?” Steve asked. “I know you’re bored all day. Might be nice to have something to do.”

“I’ve thought about it, yeah,” Bucky replied. “I’m not sure about what my mom would think if she found out, though.”

“You need something to do,” Steve replied. “Summer isn’t for another month and a half and your cast comes off in a few weeks.”

“Thank God,” Bucky groaned. “I can’t fuckin’ wait to get rid of this thing.”

“Speaking of summer,” Thor said. “There is something I need to ask you, mitt hjärta.”

“What is it?” Bucky asked. “Does this have something to do with you going to Sweden or staying here?”

“Yes,” Thor said simply. “I do wish to return to my home country. I also wish not to be separated from you. Either of you.”

Bucky swallowed, fighting back a strange surge of emotions from sadness that Thor was leaving to happiness that Bucky would be missed. It was a strange mix. He couldn’t deny, though, that he was a bit disappointed that Thor had decided to return to Sweden after all. It kind of made everything they had been through seem like it was for nothing. 3 months of separation was hard enough on any relationship. Bucky and Thor would only have 2 months under their belt when it happened. Steve might have a better chance, but still. 

“Hey, Bucky,” Thor said, coming around. Thor drew Bucky into his arms. Something must have shown on his face or something. “It is okay, this is why I must ask you something.”

“What is it?” Bucky mumbled into Thor’s shoulder. 

“Do you want to come to Sweden with me?”

_What._ Bucky straightened himself and looked into Thor’s eyes. He seemed sincere, and a little bit nervous, if that was possible. Like he was hoping that Bucky would say yes. It seemed ridiculous. They had only been dating for a month, yet Thor wanted Bucky to… come with him. To Sweden. For an entire summer. 

“You’re serious,” Bucky said. Thor gave a nervous chuckle and nodded. “What about Steve?”

“I said I would only go if you came with us,” Steve said. “So it’s up to you.”

“No pressure,” Bucky said, with a nervous chuckle. “I… I want to, it sounds great, but…”

“But?” Thor asked. 

“But… can I have some time to make a final decision?” Bucky asked. “Get to know you better and all that? We’ve haven’t been dating that long, you know.”

“That is fair, I suppose,” Thor replied with a hesitant, uncertain smile. It wasn’t a no. It was a somewhat hesitant yes, a maybe. The three of them turned back to their pancakes, the conversation eventually returning to the light-hearted banter they had before. Bucky tried to put the prospect of going to Sweden with his boyfriends in the back of his mind for now. He still had his date with Steve, after all.

* * *

In some ways, it was as if nothing had ever changed. Which was strange considering that in the month that Bucky had been home, they had never actually done something like this. Even so, it felt right to be hanging out with Steve again, trading quips, reminiscing about old stories and exploits, and now kissing. It felt sometimes like nothing had changed, even though it was everything Bucky had ever wanted from his relationship with Steve. 

Steve had a hilariously bad day of bowling. He dropped the ball a total of 6 times over the course of the afternoon while he was trying to do some kind of trick shot or something with the bumpers. Bucky didn’t fare that much better in all honesty. Their scores were pitiful, even with the bumpers, but Steve was laughing, so it was worth it. 

“We should go to Donna Sophia’s,” Steve said as they dropped their rental shoes off at the desk and headed out the door. Bucky hesitated. 

“You want to see my aunt?” Bucky asked. “Maybe we could go somewhere else.”

“Something wrong with your aunt?” Steve asked. 

“No it’s just… I took Thor there for our first date,” Bucky said. “It seems… wrong I guess to take you there on our first date, too.”

“Oh,” Steve said. Then he brightened. “No worries. I’ll pay, and then it’s not you taking me there.”

Bucky shrugged then smiled. “Gonna buy me dinner before you have your wicked way with me?”

“Seems a bit late for that, sugar,” Steve replied, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck. “Remember? It was that morning after your first date with Thor. And if I recall, you were the one to have his wicked way with me.”

“I didn’t hear any complaints at the time,” Bucky replied with a smile. They walked down the streets of New York, swinging their joined hands along the way. “Aside from… you know.”

“Well, there was that, but it’s not like I didn’t enjoy it,” Steve replied. “Besides, it was nice. Thor’s good at taking care of people.”

“He is,” Bucky said, thinking back to their, shockingly intimate yet nonsexual shower together. “He’s a good man.”

They talked about nothing the rest of the time. Idle things, like how the Mets were doing or books or movies or tv shows until they arrived at the little restaurant Sophia owned. As soon as they entered the restaurant she gasped and rushed over to hug Bucky fiercely. 

“You’re back!” she cried. “And so soon, too! I can’t believe it! And you brought Steve this time, so good to see you again!”

Steve greeted her politely. She was always excited to see him for some reason, even when he came without Bucky once with his mom. He wondered if that was how she greeted all her semi-regular customers or just friends of the family. Perhaps in an alternate reality or a past life or something, she would have been the head of an Italian mob or something. 

“Where is the other one?” she asked. “Bucky, I told you the last time, you must bring both of them with you! I wish to see the boys that made my favorite nephew so happy and welcome them to the family!”

“We’re dating, Sophia, we’re not getting married,” Bucky said, a faint blush creeping up on his face. “And we didn’t plan it this way, but Steve missed your wife’s cooking. Next time we’ll all be here, I promise.”

“Oh Bucky, I cannot stay angry with you,” she said. “Come, I will find your seat. This morning I woke up and Tonya, she said to me, ‘Sophia, your nephew is coming to dinner tonight, I can feel it.’ And this, it is God telling me not to doubt her. I must tell her.”

They sat down at the same table by the front window as they always did. It was somewhat away from the other tables, situated when Steve had come here and had a panic attack sometime after Joe died. Sophia’s wife, the probably psychic woman that she was, had moved them to an empty, only slightly dirty table well away from the main crowd in the restaurant that day and it had been Steve and Bucky’s table ever since. It was big enough that four people could sit comfortably around it. Steve took his usual seat facing the window while Bucky took his usual seat by the wall. Sophia didn’t even bother to ask what their orders were. She knew what their favorites were. They always got the same stuff when they came together: Cokes, extra breadsticks, Caesar salads, Tonya’s Lasagna for Steve, and chicken parmesan for Bucky. 

“Did she bring you and Thor to this table, too?” Steve asked, grinning. He laughed when he saw Bucky’s answering blush. Bucky glared at him, or tried to, anyway. The long hair falling around his face made him look vaguely like he was pouting or brooding. It was a good look for him, honestly, especially when he was brooding. 

“Thor sat across from me like we were in a movie or something,” Bucky said. 

“He’s like that,” Steve replied. 

“So…” Bucky said. “Do you want to go to Sweden? Has he said what all he wants to do there?” 

“My understanding is that he would like to travel across Europe and return to Sweden every now and then to spend time with friends and family,” Steve replied. Bucky raised his eyebrows at that.

“Shit, that sounds exciting,” Bucky murmured. He seemed quiet at that. 

“What is it, Buck?” Steve asked. “What’s eatin’ you?”

“It’s…” Bucky trailed off. Steve was absolutely sure that Bucky was about to say that it was nothing or that it was fine, but they had had a mutual understanding for years that they would be honest with each other “I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around all this.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you,” Steve replied. “My mom was the one who told me to say yes. Said I shouldn’t be stupid and stay here just for her sake.”

“Steve Rogers, mama’s boy,” Bucky teased. Steve felt himself blush. Bucky wasn’t wrong, and Steve knew it. 

“Yeah, so, anyway I guess she wanted me to take advantage of it, ‘cause when am I gonna get another chance to do this?” Steve continued. 

“And you really won’t go unless I’m coming, too?” Bucky asked. 

“Buck, I love you,” Steve replied. “I’m not leaving you to go gallivanting across another continent.”

“What about Thor?” Bucky asked. 

“I don’t know what Thor would do,” Steve said. “You’d have to ask him.”

“Do you actually think that he would stay here for us if I asked?” 

“He might, you never know,” Steve replied. “Now come on, I worry enough for the three of us as it is. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves.”

Bucky chuckled at that. “Never thought I’d see the day when you were the one who said, ‘don’t worry let’s have fun.’”

“I’m full of surprises,” Steve laughed.

* * *

Bucky was walking down the sidewalk towards Steve’s apartment when it happened. Bucky felt Steve stop suddenly. At first, he turned to smile at him, expecting him to want attention or something. Instead he saw a look that haunted his thoughts, that he had seen too many times in his life. Steve’s face was blank, aside from the look of pure fear in his eyes. 

Bucky let go of Steve’s hand and fished his phone out of his pocket. He formed a text as quickly as he could and held the phone in front of Steve’s eyes. Steve’s eyes went to the words on the screen.

_My place is closer. Do you want to go there?_ Steve nodded. Bucky took the phone back and formed another text.

_Can I touch you?_ Again, Steve nodded. It wasn’t usually an issue, but there were times during a particularly bad panic attack when he didn’t want to be touched at all. Not that he ever said anything, but the way he tended to fight people off made it clear at times like that.

Bucky took Steve’s hand and gently but firmly led Steve to his apartment building. It took them only a few minutes to get there and a few more minutes to get to the door to Bucky’s apartment. Bucky turned the key in the door and ushered his boyfriend inside. It was at that moment that he realized what he’d done. He’d brought his boyfriend to his apartment. 

“Bucky! You’re back, how was your day?” his mom said in greeting. She was sitting on the couch in the living room. “Steve, how are you? Did you boys enjoy yourselves?”

“Mom, Steve’s not doing so well,” Bucky replied sharply. She finally seemed to really notice the smaller man. She immediately got up to help him sit down and make him more comfortable. Then, blessedly, she left them alone. Bucky began to rehash some of their past exploits. Mostly through text, since Steve had never been able to remember anything someone told him after the first minute or so of his panic attacks. Even then, Steve didn’t usually reply beyond single word answers like “yes, no, totally, insane” or something that. 

Bucky carefully monitored Steve’s breathing, made sure that Steve was breathing properly, and kept track of how long it lasted. Around 20 minutes after his panic attack began, Steve’s breathing began to even out until he was taking slow, deep breaths. He closed his eyes and slumped back against the couch with a hand over his eyes. Steve was silent for a while as he came down from the state of high alert his mind had thrown his body into. 

“Do you need anything, doll?” Bucky murmured. Steve didn’t move. 

“Water,” he croaked. Bucky got up and walked to the kitchen and retrieved a tall glass of water. 

“Sip it slowly,” Bucky whispered. Steve complied silently before he set the glass on the coffee table. Steve closed his eyes.

“Will you hold me?” Steve asked quietly. His voice, which was often so big and bold, seemed small and strained. Still, Bucky hesitated. 

“Mom… my parents,” he whispered. “They’ll…”

If it were possible for Steve to deflate any more, he would have. It broke Bucky’s heart and he got up and pulled Steve to his feet. He snuck to his room, careful to avoid where his parents were in the kitchen. As soon as they were in his room, Bucky locked the door and led Steve to the bed. There was still a part of him that was afraid of his parents walking in on them, but at least here they had some amount of privacy. Thankfully, he had done this before and his parents, while conservative, understood that Steve usually wasn’t in the mood for socializing after one of these attacks. 

Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s body and held him close. Steve didn’t say anything. He just tucked his face into the crook of Bucky’s neck and clung to him. Bucky kissed Steve’s head and settled in to wait for Steve to be ready to go back out. Even so, Steve may very well choose to just stay in for the rest of the night. Either way, Bucky was going to be here for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	53. 7 of Coins (Vision, Perseverance)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: major religious homophobia in the first part of the chapter.

Steve awoke the next morning feeling slightly better rested. He thought for a moment. There was something not quite right. Something was different from when he had fallen asleep. Then he realized, he was practically naked beneath the blankets. Bucky must have managed to get him out of his clothes so he would be more comfortable after Steve fell asleep. Bucky was a lot bigger than Steve, so he didn’t really have clothes that would fit Steve. So Steve was just in his boxers.

Bucky wasn’t in bed with him. Steve waited for him to come back for a while before he got up and decided to go looking for him. He dressed quickly and poked his head out of the door. He could hear some kind of heated discussion. Bucky was definitely one of the people in that discussion. He crept along until he was able to make out the words.

“I’ve told you to stay away from there!” someone hissed. Mrs. Barnes. “I don’t want you associating with people like that! They’re not natural!”

“You can’t tell me who I can and can’t see, mom!” Bucky replied. “She’s part of our family, too, whether you like it or not!”

“She may be part of our family but she’s not welcome here as long as she’s part of that lifestyle,” Bucky’s mom replied. “She’s a bad influence on you.”

“This is ridiculous, how can you just write her out of your life completely?” Bucky demanded. “Becca is my sister and I’d never think of doing that to her! But Sophia is your twin and you haven’t talked to her for years because of something like this?”

“Being a homosexual is a sin, Bucky!” his father countered. “We’re not supposed to associate with people who are intent on living in sin.”

“Well that’s basically everyone then, isn’t it?” Bucky replied. “Do you want us to become hermits, then? Maybe Becca should become a nun so she doesn’t have to worry about getting with someone who’s just a lousy sinner.”

“You know that’s not what we mean,” Bucky’s father growled. “You know what we mean.”

“No, I actually don’t,” Bucky growled right back. “Tell me.”

“There’s a difference between living in sin and trying to live according to God’s teachings, Bucky,” his father replied evenly. “We’re trying to do that, but they’re unabashedly living in open rebellion against God’s natural order.”

“Whatever, I’m not about to stop seeing them just because you’ve decided you don’t like them,” Bucky replied. Steve could hear him heading his way. He tried to get back to the room, but he didn’t make it in time. Bucky rounded the corner and saw him and sighed. At least Bucky waited until they were back in his room to say anything.

“How much of that did you hear?” Bucky asked. 

“I heard enough,” Steve replied quietly. “Do they…?”

“No, not yet,” Bucky said. “At least, I hope they don’t suspect. Let’s wait until we’re back at your place or at least ‘til we’re out of here to talk about that.”

They did. Steve didn’t even stop to say goodbye to Bucky’s family before they were out the door. It was early yet, not that that mattered in New York. Steve wondered sometimes how people could stand living in a place where people weren’t constantly doing something, where mornings were quiet when they stepped outside and the only people who could be seen were joggers or people walking their dogs or something. 

About 15 minutes later they were walking through the front door to Steve’s apartment. Steve’s mom was up and awake, drinking her morning tea in the living room as usual. She smiled at them when they walked through the door. Bucky must have texted her sometime last night to let her know what happened. 

“You boys are up early,” she observed with a slight smile. “Or are you out late?”

“Early,” Bucky answered, flopping on the couch. Steve’s mom frowned.

“Not that I’m not pleased to see you, but why are you here so early?” she asked. 

“My mom found a leftover box from my aunt’s restaurant in the fridge,” Bucky explained. 

“Oh. Oh dear,” she replied. She took a sip of her tea before she got up. “Would you like some breakfast before you tell me about it?”

Bucky looked like he was going to refuse before his stomach growled loudly. Steve’s mom smiled, getting up and heading to the kitchen. Soon the smells of eggs and bacon and potatoes were wafting through the apartment. Steve sat next to Bucky, who began stroking his hand absentmindedly. Steve let him and ran a thumb over the back of Bucky’s hand in return. Steve’s mom cleared up the table as best she could and the three of them sat down to a hearty, comforting breakfast. 

“So, do you want to talk about it, Bucky?” Steve’s mom asked. 

“They found the food, and I got lectured on associating with ‘homosexuals,’” Bucky replied. “That’s pretty much all there is to it. I don’t think they’ve started to suspect that Steve and I are together, which is good. They might start to wonder soon, though.”

“I imagine me sleeping in your room last night won’t help with that,” Steve muttered. Bucky huffed a humorless laugh. 

“Probably not, no,” Bucky said. 

“What do you want to do?” Steve asked. Bucky thought for a while. 

“I kinda want to just keep my head low for now,” he finally said. “See if this all blows over, you know?”

“You can stay here if you want,” Steve offered. “Just, you know, until you feel like going back.”

“Thanks doll. I might stay the weekend,” Bucky replied. “At least until you go back to school on Monday.”

Steve stared at him for a moment. “Wait, what day is today?” he asked

“It’s Friday, dear,” his mom supplied. 

“Shit, you mean spring break is almost over?” Steve groaned. “I’m not ready!”

“You could always do what I did and get hit by a car,” Bucky said with a sardonic grin. He laughed as both Steve and his mother smacked him for that. “Hey watch it, I’m wounded!”

“You’re about to be more wounded if you keep this up,” Steve warned, though there was a mischievous light in his eyes. “But seriously, let’s just try to have fun for the rest of the weekend. Even if spring break is too short.”

* * *

Monday came too quickly as always. Steve slowly and reluctantly extracted himself from Bucky’s awkward embrace when his alarm went off. As much as he wanted to stay in bed until noon and savor the heat of his lover’s body, he did have to get up. No good would come from letting himself stay in bed. Thankfully, Bucky stirred as Steve got up. 

_Only a month and a half left to go_ , he thought. He was so ready for this year to be done. He would graduate on May 26th at long last and hopefully go to Sweden with Bucky and Thor (also Odin, Loki, and Frigga, but since Odin was really the only one who had a problem with him, Steve would find a way to live with it). Steve slowly got ready for school, made sure that all his books and such were in his backpack, going through his morning ablutions, eating a cinnamon raisin bagel, and going through all five stages of grief. Finally, faced with the certainty that a meteor had not suddenly crashed on the school building, he reluctantly headed out the door.

“See ya, punk,” Bucky said, pecking him on the lips as Steve headed out the door. 

“Bye, Buck,” Steve replied. “Have fun and stay out of trouble.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Bucky chuckled.

* * *

Bucky hung out at Steve’s apartment for a while before he began wandering around the streets. Being cooped up inside too long made him itchy. He meandered through town, debating whether to head back to his family’s apartment or to find somewhere else to be. Eventually, though he didn’t really know how, he ended up at Sophia’s restaurant. His aunts lived in an apartment above the restaurant. He walked through the front door and walked up the stairs to knock on their door. A couple minutes later, Tonya opened. 

Tonya was almost the exact opposite of Sophia. Whereas Sophia was a petite Italian woman with dark eyes, hair, and olive skin, her wife, Tonya, was tall, pale, with short, flaming red hair, blue eyes, and broad shoulders. She was built almost like a quarterback. She had tattoos down her arms and piercings in her eyebrows and ears. She was nearly as big as Bucky, actually. She offered a tired smile when she saw him and stood aside, ushering him into the apartment. Their apartment was cozy and warm, much like their restaurant downstairs. Naturally, it contained a large, well-stocked kitchen. The furniture in the living room was a warm beige color resting on the cream tiled floor. The apartment had arching ceilings coming to rest on round pillars that made the space feel comfortable and airy at the same time. 

Sophia was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of black coffee. She gestured to the countertop where there was fresh pot. Bucky grabbed a mug and poured himself a mug. He sat down across the table from his aunt. They drank silently. At some point, Sophia got up and refilled her mug. Tonya sat down next to her. Once Sophia had downed her second mug of coffee she turned her eyes on Bucky.

“So Bucky,” she said. “Not that I’m ever not pleased to see my favorite nephew, but you usually don’t show up this early.”

“Mom and pop found the box of leftovers we took from your restaurant the other night,” Bucky said simply. “Steve had a panic attack on the way home and my place was closer, so we spent the night there. When I woke in the morning, they brought it up.”

Sophia’s face was completely passive. Then she sighed. Tonya reached over the take her hand silently. Sophia looked at her and they had one of those silent conversations that Bucky was always jealous of. He dreamed of being able to be that open and familiar with someone that they didn’t even need words sometimes. Shortly after, they turned their attention back to Bucky. 

“What do you plan on doing?” Sophia asked. “Will you go back?” 

Bucky took another sip of his coffee. “I haven’t figured that out yet,” he replied. “But… I’ve been wondering something.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking I need something to do,” he explained. “Can’t sit around the house all day, after all. I was wondering if you needed any sort of help around the restaurant?”

“You want a job,” Tonya said. The first words she’d said all morning. 

“Well… yeah,” he replied with a blush. 

“You got balls, kid, I’ll give ya that,” she replied, punching his good shoulder. “I’m sure we can find a place for ya here.”

“Maybe when your arm is better we can start training you in the kitchen, teach you how to cook,” Sophia said. Bucky swallowed at that. 

“Yeah, about that,” he replied. “I’m not sure if I’ll be around that long this summer.”

His aunts both looked at him with confusion on their faces. Bucky took a breath. “Thor asked if I would go to Sweden with him this summer,” he explained. 

Their eyebrows rose. “Why on earth would he be going to Sweden in the summer?” Sophia asked. 

“Umm…” Bucky replied, blushing. “His dad is the Swedish diplomat to the United States.”

Sophia whistled. Tonya cackled, banging on the table with enthusiasm. 

“Not too shabby there, Buckaroo,” Tonya said. “Don’t tell me that little Steve is from a family of generals or something. He’s not going to shoot up like a weed and get as big as you is he?”

Bucky chuckled. “Not that I know of, Tonya. I kinda like him the way he is.”

“See that right there’s what’s important,” she said. “Besides, not everyone in your relationship can be a muscly giant.”

“Anyway,” Sophia interjected. “You’re going, right?” 

“I don’t know,” Bucky replied. “I’ve barely been with them for a month.”

“But when it gets closer to the time to go, you’ll have been with them for more than two,” Sophia countered. “Besides, going to Europe is the sort of thing people dream of doing once in a lifetime.”

“But I hardly know the guy, really,” Bucky protested. 

“ _Mio Dio_ , boy,” she sighed. “What does that matter? You’ve known Steve nearly your whole life.”

“That’s—”

“If you say that it’s different I will throw this mug at your face,” she threatened. Bucky shut his mouth and she sighed. “I know it is. But you can’t let life pass you by just because you’re scared.”

“What do I have to be scared of?” Bucky demanded. Sophia stared him down, her eyes piercing him like bullets. After a moment he withered under her scrutiny. Tonya was whistling away in the kitchen. Bucky smelled sausage and biscuits. His stomach growled quietly. 

“It’s all right to be afraid,” she told him. “As long as you don’t let it run your life.”

“So speaking of fear,” Bucky said. “What do I do about my parents? I can’t exactly avoid them for a month and a half.”

“I don’t know, Bucky,” she replied with a weary shrug. “But whatever you decide, we’ll be here for you. Whatever you need.”

* * *

Spring break was over which meant only one thing: Steve’s greatest fear was upon them. Prom. He wanted to go to prom of course. Steve was willing to go with Thor to a school dance in a theoretical sense. He had been preparing for this for a while in his own way. Frigga and Loki had been helping him with that. Still, he was nervous about actually going to a school dance. Hell, at the beginning of the year he had had the most romantic date because he was too afraid to actually go to the Homecoming dance. 

Add that to the fact that he had not one, but two boyfriends. Did he go with both? Did he just go with Thor? Bucky would be out of his cast by then. He would be able to use both his arms. Bucky could dance with him. Bucky could dance with Thor. Assuming that the three of them would still be with each other by then, they could all dance together at prom. That would, of course, advertise for the entire school to see that there was a polyamorous group dating each other at school. Would Steve even be ready to come out like that? Would Thor? Or Bucky? He tried not to worry about it too much. 

Steve sighed and tried focusing on his drawing. They had progressed from stuff like landscapes and such and on to working on black and white sketches for the portfolios their teacher had them developing. It was useful, considering that some of the people here, Steve included, was hoping to eventually go to art school. Loki was across the table from him, reluctantly working on his sketching. Wanda was struggling, too. Neither of them really liked sketching all that much. Loki preferred painting, of course, and Wanda was a photographer who was taking the art class because she had been curious. It was a slow day, but that was mostly because of the fact that it was the first day back at school. 

When the bell finally rang for them to leave, Steve packed up quickly, but his worries fogged up his mind. When he was finally beginning to head out the door, Loki and Wanda were waiting for him. Wanda looked vaguely concerned while Loki seemed as amused by him as ever. 

“Something troubling you, Steve?” Loki asked teasingly. “If this is about your lessons, let me assure you that you are not as hopeless at it as you seem to think.” 

“That’s not it, actually,” Steve murmured as they headed down the hall. 

“Then please enlighten us,” Loki replied. 

“Leave him be, Loki,” Wanda chastised. “You do not have to tell us if you do not want to, Steve.”

“No it’s fine,” Steve said. “I’m trying to figure out what to do for prom.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. 

“Well… have I told you that Thor and I are dating someone else as well, now?” he asked. Wanda rose her eyebrows and shook her head. “Well, Bucky is now in our relationship. Has been for about a month now.”

“Bucky… you mean your friend? Sorry, I guess he’s your boyfriend, now,” she said. Steve nodded. “Congratulations, Steve. You do seem happier now.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, I feel happier now.”

“So what is your concern about prom?” Wanda asked. Steve swallowed.

“Well… I wonder if I will be ready to come out as having more than one boyfriend when prom rolls around,” he admitted. “Like, coming out as gay has been interesting enough. What will happen when I come out with two boyfriends?”

“That will be interesting to see, certainly,” Loki replied. “But I do understand your hesitation.”

“Yeah, I mean, I want to do it,” Steve said. “But what if they don’t want to? Bucky’s not even out publically, what if he’s not comfortable coming with us in the first place?”

“This is probably a conversation you should have with the two of them,” Loki replied carefully. “I can tell you that Thor is planning on going to prom, but I have no idea about Bucky.”

“Yeah, well, we still have another month before prom comes,” Steve said as they came to the foyer between the languages hall where Loki and Wanda were heading and the mathematics hall where Steve had his Calculus class. “There’s still time to figure it out.”

* * *

By the end of the day, Steve had decided that the easiest way to deal with this problem was simply to try and make a plan with his boyfriends. Thor would probably be fine with it, knowing him. He had been the one to help Steve come out at the beginning of the year by simply holding his hand and defending him form detractors. Bucky was the one who had the quandary. He was already in enough trouble with his parents for seeing his aunts. If word got out and they found out that Bucky had not just one, but two boyfriends, the fallout could be horrible for him. 

As soon as the physics class was over, Steve took Thor’s hand and they headed to the front door where Mr. Baker would be waiting for them. They walked in companionable silence until they arrived at the front door. Steve smiled in shock as he saw Bucky waiting for them, leaning on the side of the car Mr. Baker always picked them up in. Bucky offered them his slow, lopsided smile when he saw them. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” Steve said. Then Bucky surprised him by leaning down to kiss him. It was just a peck on the lips, but still. Steve was shocked speechless. He watched as Bucky straightened to do the same with Thor. Thor seemed to take it more in stride. If anyone saw or thought it was strange, they didn’t say anything. “Anyway, not that I’m not pleasantly surprised, but what brought this on?”

Bucky got in the car and Thor and Steve piled in after him. It was a snug fit, but the car had clearly been chosen with Thor’s giant Swedish family in mind, so it wasn’t that bad. Honestly, Steve didn’t mind sitting between them. There was a somewhat pregnant silence, like Bucky was preparing to drop something huge on them. He didn’t say anything for some time. They were nearly halfway to Thor’s house before Bucky opened his mouth. 

“I want to come out,” he said with a shaky breath. “To my parents, I mean.”

Steve and Thor looked at him, then to each other, and then back to Bucky. Whatever it was Steve was expecting, this was… pretty low on the list. Steve knew, of course, that coming out was a huge deal. Steve’s coming out experience had been relatively easy. His mom had said she loved him and they went out for shawarma. Bucky coming out to his family… that was almost certainly going to go badly. 

“You are coming out to your parents only?” Thor asked. “What of your sister?” 

“She… sort of figured it out for herself,” Bucky replied. “A couple hours before the accident, actually.”

“Really?” Steve asked. “How?”

“She guessed that you had turned me down,” Bucky supplied. Steve blushed at that, but didn’t say anything. He still sort of felt bad about that.

“Does she know that you are dating us?” Thor asked. 

“No… but I’m sure she’s figured that something is going on,” Bucky replied. “My mom knows that I’m happier than usual.” 

They were quiet for a while at that. Steve took Bucky’s hand. “We’re here for you, Buck,” he whispered. “Whatever you need.”

Thor hummed in agreement. Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand and smiled weakly. 

“I want you to be there,” Bucky choked out. “If you’re okay with that, that is. I’m… I’m not sure I can do this by myself. After that we can go out to Donna Sophia’s. My aunts want to know how it goes when I’m done.”

“They know about this?” Steve asked. 

“Well, yeah,” Bucky said with a nervous chuckle. “They helped me plan it.”

“How long have you been planning to do this?” Thor asked.

“Since this morning, honestly,” Bucky replied. “But… I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Since the beginning of the year, but I was too scared to do anything more than think about it. This is the first time that I’ve done anything more.”

“What changed?” Steve asked. His voice was barely a murmur. 

“You did,” Bucky said, a faint blush blooming on his face, a gentle dusting like a sunrise peaking over the horizon of a sleeping world, hesitant and shy. “You make me want to be brave.”

“Me? What did I do?” Steve asked. Bucky looked at him like he was crazy. 

“You don’t know?” Bucky asked. Thor chuckled from behind him. Steve turned. Thor was shaking his head with a bemused smile on his face. 

“ _Älskling_ , you are the bravest person I know,” Thor said. “I wonder sometimes if you are truly so humble or if you simply lack self-awareness.”

“Is this because I pick fights with bullies?” Steve asked, utterly confused. 

“‘Is this because I pick fights with bullies’ he asks,” Bucky said with a laugh. Even Mr. Baker seemed to be laughing at him, though he kept his eyes on the road. Steve could see his eyes crinkling with amusement. “He really doesn’t know.”

“Okay, now you guys are bein’ jerks,” Steve growled.

“Stevie, yeah you pick fights with bullies,” Bucky said. “You also stand up to them for others. People you barely know and you let yourself get beaten to a pulp for them.”

“And that makes me brave?” Steve asked. 

“Steve, you stood up to my father during your first coherent meeting with him,” Thor said. “Do you know how many people I have witnessed do that?”

“How many?” 

“Just you,” Thor replied. “And my mother. I never spoke back to him myself before I saw you do it.”

“There have been things that terrify you but you faced them anyway,” Bucky added. “I remember when you couldn’t leave your apartment because you were afraid of what might happen if you did. You used to freeze every time you saw someone drinking or when a man raised his voice. And even then you stood up to bullies because it was the right thing to do and you might have been afraid of something happening to you, but you could never let someone else suffer either.” 

“In another life you might have been a national hero,” Thor murmured. “But I suppose we will have to live with you being ours.”

Steve’s face was red as a beet. “Do you stay up late at night thinking of these cheesy lines?”

Both his boyfriends laughed loudly at that, which didn’t help Steve’s blush. Bucky leaned in to kiss his cheek, his short beard scratching Steve’s cheek. 

“Anyway,” Steve said, eager to change the subject. “Yeah, we’ll be there for you. Do you know when you’re planning on doing this?”

“Next weekend,” Bucky replied. “I… I want to do it soon, but I don’t want to rush into it, you know?”

Steve nodded. “Makes sense.”

“I love you,” Bucky murmured, looking at Steve. Then his eyes drifted to Thor. “I know we’ve only been together for a little while, but I… care about you. A lot.”

Thor reached across Steve’s body and brought Bucky’s hand to his lips in that classy move that always made Steve’s knees weak in their early days (it still did). Bucky’s blush grew a bit as Thor’s lips brushed across Bucky’s knuckles like cherry blossoms gliding on the wind. 

“Worry not, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor whispered. “I feel the same way.”

“How? We’ve been together for such a short time,” Bucky asked, bewildered. 

“You love Steve,” Thor replied simply. “And I know that you care for me as well. That is enough.”

Bucky closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened his eyes, he smiled softly at Thor. 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	54. Page of Wands (Exploration, Enthusiasm, Coming Change)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is largely NSFW.

The three of them spent all week coming up with the plan. Even receiving the news that the three of them were all clean had done little to lighten the mood. First, they would convene at Thor’s house, then they would return to Bucky’s apartment next weekend when both of Bucky’s parents would be home, and once they were done, however it turned out, they would go to Donna Sophia’s to tell Bucky’s aunts how it went and decompress over some comforting Italian cuisine. On paper, it sounded like a solid plan, but Thor could tell that no matter how much they planned, Bucky was afraid. 

The entire planning process of Bucky coming out to his parents was completely foreign to Thor. Thor’s parents just knew that he and Loki were not straight. They had always encouraged them to feel comfortable and at home with talking about their crushes, all men in Thor’s case and split pretty evenly in Loki’s. The idea that there were people who felt like they could not do that was strange and filled Thor’s heart with sadness. Steve and Bucky both seemed to be planning for rejection, and from what Thor knew about Bucky’s aunts, that seemed to be a reasonable thing to expect, unfortunately.

Thor was beginning to wonder if he would ever have a situation that he could simply fix again. Both of his boyfriends seemed to have problems that couldn’t be fixed simply by putting forth a lot of effort. Steve had his anxiety which nearly constant and Bucky had struggled with accepting himself because of his upbringing. There was a part of Thor that wanted to beat them senseless for putting Bucky in this situation. There was another part that was more strategic and rational that knew that it wasn’t a good idea. 

Which was why Thor was currently taking out his frustrations with the punching bag in his basement workout space. Bucky stood on the other side of it bracing it as best as he was able. _That cast cannot come off soon enough_ , Thor thought. Apparently it was due to come off in a couple weeks, once the doctors verified that the arm had indeed healed completely. Thor was trying to focus on that instead of the coming out. He needed something positive to happen. The last few days had been stressful more than anything. 

“Come on, Odinson, I know you can do better than that!” Bucky goaded. “Show me what you’re made of!”

Thor growled and redoubled his efforts, punching the bag in front of him with renewed vigor. Whether it was the need to prove that he was capable or simply the desire to hit something, Thor was not sure. But it felt good.

“That’s it! There you go! Let it out!” Bucky hollered. Thor began to hit the bag even harder. He grunted every time his fists made contact with it. Finally, he began breathing heavily and Thor let his arms slump to his sides. He relaxed as he caught his breath. “Sweetheart,” Bucky said, coming around to face him. “When I can use both my arms the way I used to I want to go toe-to-toe with you. Been a while since I sparred with someone.”

Despite his mood, Thor looked at his lover out of the side of his eye and grinned. Bucky rolled his eyes and punched Thor’s shoulder. Thor laughed.

“Not like that!” Bucky snapped. “I meant actually sparring, fighting, wrestling, stuff like that! I’ve been itching for a fight for weeks and I can’t.”

“When your arm is fully recovered, I will be happy to spar with you,” Thor replied with a chuckle. “In any way you desire.”

“Oh, so I have to wait a few months before I have sex with you, now?” Bucky countered. “Oh well. At least there’s Steve. I guess we can just let you watch or something.”

“I am sure I will survive somehow,” Thor replied drily. “He is pleasant to watch, as I am sure you will agree.”

Bucky grinned wistfully as they both reminisced about the day they had taken turns fucking Steve in every way they could think of trying to get Steve to get for mercy. Steve had limped for the next few days, but amazingly, he never did. They stopped when they were all equally exhausted. They leaned on the wall together for a while in companionable silence. At some point, Bucky’s face fell.

“Thor, you know you don’t have to help me if you don’t want to,” Bucky said.

“Why would I not?” Thor asked, bewildered. “ _Mitt hjärta_ , there is nothing I want more. I merely… I wish that you did not have to prepare for the worst.”

“Yeah, you and me both,” Bucky said.

“I wish I could do something more to help,” Thor said. “I never used to have these problems before I started dating Steve.”

“What kind of problems?” Bucky asked cautiously. 

“Just… I cannot do anything,” Thor explained. “I must let you and Steve do what you must and all I can do is watch. I yearn to do something to help, to take care of it so the two of you need not worry but all I can do is let the two of you do what you have to. I dislike waiting like this.”

“We're not made of glass, Thor,” Bucky countered. “We don't need you to fix our problems. Actually, I don't think either of us want you to.”

“That is what it means to be in a relationship, is it not?” Thor asked. “To help each other.”

“Yeah, but that doesn't mean that we want you to do everything for us,” Bucky said. “You wouldn't want us to ask Odin to cut you some slack, would you? Remember when Steve told you about their deal?”

Thor sighed. “Yes.”

“Honestly, I wish you could deal with this for me,” Bucky continued. “Every bone in my body wants to run away from this like I always have. I wish my parents were more like yours.”

Thor chuckled at that. “Usually when people say that, it's before they've actually gotten to know them.”

Bucky smiled and laughed with him. The absurdity of it all hit Thor and he began laughing louder. Soon they were both laughing at the top of their lungs until their sides hurt and they were gasping for breath. Thor looked at Bucky fondly, the way his mouth curved as he smiled and his grey-blue eyes glistened like frost on a winter's morning. He was beautiful. Strong and graceful and, beneath his bravado, kind. Thor knew little of the Christian religion, but there would be worse things than more Christians like Bucky and Steve. 

_Oh well. Their loss_ , Thor thought. 

“Whatever happens next week,” Thor said. “I will be there for you. Come hell or high water. I will not let them hurt you.”

Bucky smiled and they did something they rarely did, it seemed. They hugged. It was different than hugging Steve. Steve fit beneath Thor's chin naturally and Thor's body enveloped him effortlessly. It felt right. Bucky’s body was hard and strong and he hugged every bit as fiercely as Thor despite his injuries. And it felt right, too. 

“Thank you,” Bucky murmured in his ear. Thor pulled back and kissed him softly. Bucky returned with a level of need and desperation that surprised him. Thor didn’t mind. He deepened the kiss, his tongue entwining with Bucky’s in their dance. Thor groaned into Bucky’s mouth when he felt his cock twitching with interest in his pants. Then he remembered something important. Thor had received the results from the clinic confirming he was clean. If Bucky’s were the same… Thor’s cock became fully hard in his shorts at the thought. 

“Shall we take this upstairs?” he asked. Bucky grinned and Thor felt his heart skip a beat. All Bucky could do was nod and shiver with delight. Thor grinned as well. 

Thor grabbed Bucky’s hand and laced their fingers together as he led Bucky up to his room. Steve was in the upstairs living room. Out of the corner of Thor’s eye, he saw Bucky catch Steve’s attention as they walked past. Bucky grinned and jerked his head towards Thor’s room. Steve blushed and grinned, but put whatever he was doing aside and followed them. Thor hummed deep in his chest. The last time they had all been in bed together was the hottest day he could remember. Thor had wanted to do it again all week. 

As soon as they were inside, Thor locked the door and shoved Bucky up against it gently and kissed him. Bucky sighed into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Thor’s hair and pulling him flush against Bucky’s body as much as he was able to. The arm in the cast was still a bit awkward, unfortunately. 

Thro turned around when he heard clothes falling onto the floor. Steve was reclining on the far end of the bed, watching the two of them with great interest. His eyes as blue as a summer day were dark with lust as he watched them. Steve’s cock was hard, but currently unattended, a single drop of pre-cum falling down the thick length. Thor smirked at him.

“Enjoying the show, love?” Thor asked. Steve smirked right back at him. 

“Yeah, babe. Take your time,” Steve said. Thor turned around towards Bucky and hooked a finger under the collar of Bucky’s shirt to drag him back towards the bed. When they reached the bed, Thor turned them around and pushed Bucky onto it gently. “Though there is one thing we should clear up before you guys go anywhere.”

“Yes,” Thor said. “I am clean. What of you, love?”

Bucky grinned. “Clean and clear, sweetheart. Can’t wait to feel your bare cock inside me.”

“Fuck,” Steve hissed. “I’m clean, too, not that it matters right now. I need to see this.”

“You can join us if you are feeling up to it, love,” Thor said. “Help me take care of our stunning lover?”

Steve thought for a moment before shaking his head. There was no explanation needed. Steve needed time to get used to an idea before being okay trying it. That had been how their relationship had worked all these past months. Instead, Thor turned his attention back to Bucky, the one he was trying to focus on pleasing right now. 

“Do you know what I am looking forward to most about your cast coming off in two weeks?” Thor murmured against Bucky’s lips. 

“What?” Bucky asked. 

“I wish to see you on all fours,” Thor said. “I wish to push you down onto the mattress as I fuck into your ass.”

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky moaned. Steve groaned softly as Thor grinned. 

“It is all right, _mitt hjärta,_ ” Thor said. “You can simply call me Thor.”

Bucky groaned and hit Thor’s shoulder. Thor laughed in reply, running his hands over Bucky’s clothed torso before leaning in to kiss Bucky again. Bucky did not respond. He remained passive beneath Thor. Thor, for his part, took it in stride. He had reacted similarly when Steve had made a pun before. Thor occupied himself with sneaking his hand up Bucky’s shirt, feeling the rolling hills and shifting muscles beneath Bucky’s skin as he breathed. 

Eventually Bucky relented and began kissing Thor again. As soon as he did, Thor’s hand traveled up to tease at one of Bucky’s nipples, making Bucky moan into Thor’s mouth. Bucky’s head fell back onto the bed with a gasp, arching up into the touch. 

“This is a side I’ve never seen before, sugar,” Steve said. “Always figured you to be the suave top, not the moaning bottom.”

“What can I say, doll?” Bucky asked, his voice strained as Thor kept teasing him. “He’s good at what he does.” Bucky hooked a leg around Thor’s waist and pulled him closer. Thor answered by rubbing their clothed erections together. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Bucky gasped, right before he glared up at Thor’s smirking face. “Don’t you fucking dare, Odinson!”

“Dare what?” Thor asked, humming against Bucky’s neck before he started sucking on it. Bucky whined above him. Thor traveled down Bucky’s neck, leaving little marks that would darken into hickies later. A few minutes later he felt Bucky tugging at Thor’s shirt.

“You’re wearing too much clothing, sweetheart,” Bucky said. “Wanna see your sexy body.”

Thor hummed with delight as Bucky managed to get the shirt off and tossed it across the room… or tried to. It landed on Steve. 

“I’m not a coat rack, Buck,” Steve said, laughing. Steve went to toss it, but apparently thought better of it. He held Thor’s gaze as he slid it over his head. Thor’s mouth went dry at the sight of Steve in nothing but Thor’s somewhat sweaty workout shirt. It was much too big for Steve, but Steve just hiked up the hem of the shirt to wrap his hand around his cock, Steve’s eyes never leaving Thor’s as he pumped it lazily. 

“Doll, you might steal my man if you keep that up,” Bucky chuckled. Then he turned Thor’s face back to him and placed a hot kiss to his lips. Thor hummed into the kiss and closed his eyes, trying to banish, for now, the image of Steve in his clothes. When Bucky broke contact, he looked into Thor’s eyes, Bucky’s steely blue-grey eyes dark with lust and need. Bucky’s lips grew into a slow, lazy smile that spoke of promises and plans. “Because I need him between my legs tonight. The sooner, the better.”

Thor smirked down at his lover and kissed those luscious lips again, then the cleft in his chin, then the curve of his neck before he tugged at Bucky’s shirt and pulled it awkwardly over his head and the cast. Thor fell upon his lover, savoring the taste of sweat and the smell of Bucky’s musk from helping Thor with his workout. 

_I should have thought of this sooner_ , Thor thought. _This is a much better way to blow off steam than a punching bag._

Bucky reached down to palm Thor’s erection through his workout shorts. Thor hummed as he felt pleasure coursing through his veins, his cock seemingly getting impossibly harder at the touch. He imagined Bucky’s hand wrapped around him, or better yet, his mouth. A wicked thought occurred to him then. 

Thor got up and pulled Bucky’s shorts down and tossed them aside, freeing Bucky’s long, thick member. It was neither as big nor as thick as Thor’s but that hardly mattered. Thor practically ripped his own shorts off, his cock bouncing up against his stomach as it was released. Thor crawled around Bucky’s side until his cock was over those beautiful, divine lips before Thor laid down on his side. He looked up at Bucky and smirked wickedly before he rolled Bucky on his side. 

Bucky needed no encouragement he wrapped his hand around the base of Thor’s cock and licked the head in one long, sensuous lick across the slit. Thor was not convinced that Bucky couldn’t have made him come right then and there. But before he could get any more distracted, Thor grabbed Bucky’s gorgeous, firm globes of ass and spread them apart to expose Thor’s prize. Bucky’s pink hole clenched in anticipation for what was coming. Thor kneaded Bucky’s ass as he savored the feeling of Bucky’s tongue, teasing, tasting, licking at Thor’s shaft. 

Thor hummed and turned his attention first to Bucky’s enticing member, licking across the slit before he wrapped his lips around it and took Bucky’s cock into his mouth. Thor hummed as the head reached the back of his throat, making Bucky respond in kind around Thor’s. Thor reveled in the taste of Bucky’s bare cock in his mouth, the salty taste of pre-cum on his tongue. Much as he had appreciated the flavored condoms (because no one liked the taste of latex), it was somehow much more satisfying and intimate to have his mouth wrapped around his lover’s member, nothing separating them. Thor’s tongue traced the network of veins on Bucky’s shaft as he made his way back up until his lips were just wrapped around the head and his tongue teased its underside. Bucky shivered and bucked into Thor’s mouth. 

Thor grinned around the mouthful of cock and began sucking with a steady rhythm. He bobbed his head, focusing on the sensitive tip, the slit that made Bucky writhe against him. Thor took him deeper until he swallowed the head of Bucky’s member and hummed deep in his throat. 

“Jesus Christ!” Bucky cried. Thor chuckled at that. Steve slapped his ass in retaliation, but it did nothing dissuade him. Thor came off Bucky’s cock and looked at Steve beneath hooded eyes. It never ceased to amuse him, how annoyed they became whenever he acted like they were talking about him. He grinned. 

“Careful, _älskling_ ,” Thor murmured. “We would not want you to bite off more than you can chew, would we?” Steve ignored him and slapped him again. Thor hummed in reply.

“Babe, I’ve already had a mouthful of that ass,” Steve said. “And I think I can handle it just fine.” 

Thor hummed and returned to Bucky’s cock, moaned around him as he swallowed him to the root. Bucky moaned loudly around Thor’s member and Thor began sucking Bucky’s cock with gusto. His hands, meanwhile, reached around to squeeze and knead at Bucky’s beautiful, supple ass. Speaking of biting, Thor thought. He grinned as best he could around Bucky’s cock at that thought. Thor settled for squeezing for the moment, feeling the taut, firm muscle in his hands. 

Thor came off his lover’s cock and began to lick his way to Bucky’s ass. He savored the taste of Bucky’s sweat on his balls, the smell of musk that filled Thor’s nostrils. Thor paused when he reached Bucky’s perineum and began to tease it. Bucky made a sound that might have been a whine if it hadn’t been for the dick in his mouth. Thor teased it with a finger, drawing out Bucky’s moans and hums and other sounds that literally went straight to Thor’s member. Thor extracted his member from Bucky’s mouth and looked down. Bucky’s lips were swollen and debauched, drool dribbling down the sides of his mouth. Thor shifted up so he could capture those beautiful lips in a kiss. 

“Gods, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor groaned against Bucky’s lips. “You give incredible head.”

Bucky grinned against him. “You’re not so bad yourself, sweetheart.”

Thor smirked at him and rolled Bucky over so that he was laying on his stomach. It was not as ideal as having him on all fours, but the important part was having access to that delicious hole. Thor shivered in anticipation as he spread Bucky’s cheeks apart, exposing his prize. Right before he dove in to lick eagerly at the opening. Bucky moaned into the sheets beneath them and pushed his hips back against Thor’s mouth. 

After a few minutes, Thor came off for air and blew across Bucky’s hole. Bucky wriggled against him at the sensation. Thor loved it. He loved how sensitive his lovers were, and how different. It made life exciting. Steve loved getting kissed or sucked on his neck up to his ears. That it resulted in markings that were easy to see was something of a secret pleasure for Thor. Steve also loved having his ass teased. He may have said that he wasn’t sure which he preferred when it happened the first time, but Steve was definitely quicker to bend over than jump for the alternative, not that Thor minded in the slightest. 

Bucky, on the other hand, had ridiculously sensitive nipples. Thor could probably spend all day teasing them, just to hear the various sounds he could draw out of Bucky’s mouth. Bucky acted like he hated it, but Thor was not convinced. It was more likely that he was embarrassed by it, for some bizarre reason. 

Steve crawled over with a bottle of lube. “Thank you, love,” Thor said, kissing him quickly. He quickly spread some lube on his hand. To his surprise, Steve did not move back to where he had been. Instead, he crawled to the other side of Bucky. Thor smirked. 

“Look at that,” Thor purred, taking one slick finger and teasing Bucky’s hole. Bucky whined around the head of Thor’s cock. “Is it not beautiful?” 

Steve swallowed, his hand wrapped firmly around his cock. He was gripping it at the base to steady himself and keep his climax at bay. “Fuck, Thor.”

Thor hummed. “That’s the idea, love,” he said. “But first, some fun.”

Without further ado, Thor dived in and started licking and nipping at the puckering flesh. Bucky moaned around Thor’s cock and took him deeper. Thor involuntarily bucked his hips into Bucky’s hot, wet mouth. 

“Gods,” Thor gasped coming off Bucky’s ass for a minute. “We should have done this sooner, love.”

Steve just grinned. “We have, babe.”

“Huh?!” Bucky demanded. “When?”

“It was one time in the shower after a workout,” Steve explained. “We didn’t have condoms and we were too horny to care.”

“Well I suppose that’s okay,” Bucky said. He returned to sucking Thor’s cock, taking it deeper than he had before. Thor hummed against Bucky’s hole. He licked, nipped, and teased, feeling quietly proud of Bucky’s encouraging sounds, until Bucky’s hole was relaxed enough for Thor to resume rimming him in earnest. Thor breached his lover with his tongue, lapping at the hole and grinning with satisfaction at the way Bucky rutted back against him. He glanced over at Steve, still in naught but Thor’s shirt watching with fascination and arousal. Thor thought he could see a faint glimmer in his eyes, the way he looked when he was imagining how something would look like on canvas or parchment. 

“Planning your next masterpiece, _älskling?_ ” Thor asked.

“Maybe,” Steve replied with a sly smile. 

“Give me a metal arm or something, would ya?” Bucky said. “Anything but this fucking cast.”

“Sure thing.”

Thor squeezed Bucky’s ass and shoved his face back between his cheeks to resume licking, his tongue pushing past the tight rim of muscle with ease. Thor reached around Bucky’s body to grasp his neglected cock. Thor pumped it lightly, enough to provide sensation but not enough to satisfy. Bucky whined into the sheets and rutted back against Thor, getting Thor’s tongue to do deeper inside him and more friction on his cock. Thor hummed against Bucky’s hole. 

“Fuck, baby enough teasing,” Bucky begged. “I need more.”

Thor slapped his ass in response, earning a yelp from Bucky and making Steve jump in surprise. 

“Fuck,” Bucky moaned. Thor leaned over Bucky, pressing his body against Bucky’s.

“Do you like that, love?” Thor whispered, smacking his ass again. Bucky nodded mutely. Thor ran a hand over Bucky’s ass, teasing the hole with his thumb. Bucky whimpered and pushed back against the thick digit. 

“Please Thor,” Bucky whined. “Please.” There was a note of need and desperation in his voice that Thor had never heard before. Thor gently rolled Bucky over so that he was on his back. Thor grabbed the lube and squeezed some onto his hand before he reached down to tease Bucky’s hole again. 

“Worry not, love,” Thor whispered, kissing Bucky’s lips softly. “I am here. I will take care of you.”

“Thor… I,” Bucky said. His eyes brimmed with emotion. “Thank you.”

“Shh,” Thor murmured against his lips as he pressed a finger into Bucky’s tight, wet ass. When the finger was fully inserted, Thor angled his finger around until he found what he was looking for. Bucky arched up off the bed with a gasp. Thor gave a satisfied hum. “There it is.”

Thor did not waste any time. He inserted a second finger into Bucky’s ass to start stretching him. Bucky clenched around his fingers, his passage becoming unbearably tight around Thor’s digits. Thor had to make himself take his time and not sheath his cock into Bucky’s hole. But gods if the man didn’t try his patience like this. Him and Steve both. There was surely nothing better than being inside them. 

Steve reached over with a trembling hand to tease one of Bucky’s nipples. Bucky looked up at Steve with adoration as he arched into the touch. Steve slowly became more confident and steady. He teased Bucky’s nipples until they were stiff and erect.

“Steve,” Bucky whined. Steve leaned down and kissed Bucky, slow and deep. Thor moaned softly at the sight. Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist, pulling him flush against Bucky’s body. Steve stiffened for a moment, then relaxed as they kissed. Thor caught a glimpse of Steve’s ass poking out from Thor’s shirt. Thor had to stop himself from reaching out to touch it, not knowing whether Steve would be okay with that at this stage. But gods, that image was going to haunt Thor’s thoughts for days. 

Thor carefully inserted a third finger and grinned as Bucky hissed and whined into Steve’s mouth. 

“How’s it feel, sugar?” Steve asked. 

“Fucking amazing, baby,” Bucky said. “Oh, God, Thor I need you in me right fucking now!”

Thor agreed, but chuckled instead. “But I am inside you,” he said. “Can you not feel me?” Thor pressed his fingers against Bucky’s prostate for emphasis. 

Bucky groaned and rolled his eyes. “Who knew Thor Odinson was such a smartass?”

“You did kind of walk right into that, Buck.”

“I didn’t walk into nothing, Stevie!” Bucky protested. “I was just lyin—fuck shit!”

Thor chuckled wickedly as his fingers brushed once again across Bucky’s prostate before he pulled them out slowly. He slicked up his cock slowly, gripping it tightly at the base as he pressed the head against Bucky’s slick hole. Bucky took a deep breath, and Thor breached him. A litany of curses poured from Bucky’s mouth as Thor pressed into him. Even after all that stretching, Bucky was still incredibly tight around Thor’s cock. Thor continued on until he bottomed out and leaned down over Bucky’s body to kiss him. 

“Stevie,” Bucky breathed between kisses. “How did you fit that much cock inside your tight little hole?”

Steve chuckled. “It took a few tries,” he admitted. “Why? This isn’t the first time you’ve had sex. Don’t you remember what it was like before?”

“Thor was… not as gentle that time,” Bucky gasped. “It was good, but completely different.”

“We were angry at each other,” Thor said, shifting slightly so he was more comfortable. “It was… not gentle.” 

Bucky hummed at the memory. “You really have to feel it when he goes hard and fast, Stevie.”

“You should really feel it when he’s gentle, gorgeous,” Steve replied. 

“I will, as soon as he works up the nerve to move,” Bucky said, grinning at Thor. Thor quirked an eyebrow and started rolling his hips into Bucky’s ass. Bucky sighed and let his head fall back onto the pillows beneath him. Thor adjusted the angle of his hips until Bucky began to moan with pleasure.

“There it is,” Thor said with a grin. He captured Bucky’s lips in a heated kiss, drinking Bucky’s wanton moans and whines like a man dying of thirst. He felt Steve’s hand card through his hair, fisting it just enough to add some sweet pain to the pleasure. After a moment, he felt Steve pull more insistently and he came off to face him. 

“Babe,” Steve sighed as he descended on Thor’s lips. Thor hummed into Steve’s mouth and hooked a finger in the neckline of his shirt, silently bidding him to come closer. Steve flung a leg over Bucky’s body and straddled their lover as he threw his arms around Thor’s neck. 

“ _Älskling_ ,” Thor groaned against him. “You look... mmm, so sexy like this.”

Steve smiled against Thor’s lips. “You’re ridiculous, Thor,” he said. “Your shirt is way too big for me.”

“You know what would drive him up the wall, doll?” Bucky said. Steve turned around to look at their lover, quietly enduring Thor’s thrusts with soft moans. “You should come on his shirt.”

Thor groaned and quickened the pace of his thrusts. He could see it now, Steve’s mouth, blissed out and swollen from kissing, his hand flying over his cock as he watched Thor and Bucky, his come spurting from his cock when he came, painting Thor’s shirt with his seed. Steve grinned at him and went back to lie beside Bucky, letting his ass peek out from under Thor’s shirt. 

“I think he likes that idea,” Steve said. “Do you know what he might like even more?”

“What?” Bucky asked. In lieu of an answer, Steve took Bucky’s right hand, which was wrapped around Bucky’s member and guided it to Steve’s. Steve, in turn, wrapped his hand around Bucky’s cock, jerking it so that it was pointed towards Steve. Thor was pretty sure his heart skipped a beat. Steve looked up with a devious smile right before he leaned over to kiss Bucky. 

Thor gripped Bucky’s hips tighter, enough to bruise, and fucked into his ass faster. Bucky clenched around Thor’s member and Thor swore in Swedish. Or maybe it was German. He couldn’t tell at the moment. There was only Thor, Bucky, and Steve and their bodies moving, pleasuring each other in a dance whose steps they were all learning, moving to the beat of their love. The beat of Thor’s hips against Bucky’s, the wet, rhythmic melody of Thor’s lovers jerking each other off, the sweet timbre of moaning and sighing and groaning. Thor actually closed his eyes and just felt, listened like it was the most amazing thing he had ever heard in his life. 

“Stevie, baby, I’m close,” Bucky gasped. Steve started pumping Bucky’s cock faster. Bucky gasped and moaned and Thor felt his ass clench tightly around Thor’s member just before he came, his seed spurting out onto Thor’s shirt, splattering the black fabric like stars. Steve milked Bucky’s orgasm from him and when Bucky was finally completely spent, Steve looked between them and brought his hand to his lips and licked the come from his fingers. Steve moaned as he tasted the seed on his hand. Bucky’s hand jerking Steve’s cock faltered for a split second. 

“Bucky, should I—”

“No, don’t stop Thor,” Bucky begged. “God please whatever you do don’t—ugh—fucking stop!”

Tears were beginning to fall from Bucky’s eyes. Bucky looked blissed out as his hand flew over Steve’s cock. A moment later, Steve gasped and moaned as his climax hit him, coming across Thor’s shirt in ropes. Like Steve did a moment before, Bucky brought his fingers to his lips when Steve’s climax was over. Unlike Steve, Bucky turned to look Thor dead in the eye.

“Want a taste, sweetheart?” 

Thor surged forward and descended on Bucky’s mouth. Bucky whined as Thor’s thrusting continued, growing erratic as Thor felt his climax building. As soon as Thor tasted Steve on Bucky’s tongue, his orgasm hit him and he flooded Bucky’s hole with his cum. Thor belatedly realized that he forgot to ask Bucky where he wanted Thor to come, but Bucky did not seem to mind. Bucky clenched his ass around Thor’s member, milking it dry.

“That was…” Thor gasped. He pressed his forehead against Bucky’s as he caught his breath. “That was the most amazing sex I have ever had.”

“I’ll say,” Bucky breathed. Bucky laid his one good hand against Thor’s face. “Thank you.”

Their next kiss was sweet and tender and Thor wrapped his arms around Bucky and held him close. Thor slowly pulled out of Bucky, who mewled at the loss. 

“I apologize for not asking where you wanted it,” Thor said sheepishly. 

“Sweetheart, I’m absolutely fine just like this,” Bucky said, smiling. “I just… I needed this.”

Beside them, Steve hummed sympathetically. “I wish I could say it will be fine,” he said. “But I can’t. But we’re here for you. ‘Til the end of the line.”

Bucky smiled at that. “‘Til the end of the line,” he agreed.

* * *

Tensions were running high. They were all on edge. If it wasn't for Steve and Thor's mothers and Mr. Baker, Steve was pretty sure they would have had heart attacks from all the worry. Thor being on edge was both new and concerning. Throughout the months they had been together, Thor had always seemed to be a rock in their relationship. Sturdy and constant. Steve often had to remind himself that Thor had never had do something quite like this either. Neither of their coming out to their parents had been like this. The stakes seemed higher and Steve almost thought they were preparing for battle. 

Their moments of solace came when the three of them were together. It somehow seemed like it wasn't enough when it was only two of them. Bucky especially seemed loathed to leave them. He often didn't even leave for his apartment until late, when his parents were more likely to be asleep. Steve suspected that Bucky wouldn't have gone home at all that week if he felt like he could get away with it. Bucky returned every other night to allay suspicions. Most nights Bucky returned with Steve. 

The day before Bucky was planning to come out to his parents, Steve and Thor skipped school. It was the third time that year they had done so. Whereas the last two times they had skipped school, they had gone to an arcade to spend the day, this time they three of them went to arcades to spend the day, this time Thor and Steve had orchestrated something for Bucky. So they returned to Central Park like they had done a week ago, but this time Bucky was with them. It was a strangely peaceful experience. If the cherry blossoms were beautiful last week, it was nothing compared to the sight of cherry blossoms floating through the breeze. 

Thor carried one of those old fashioned picnic baskets and a blanket large enough for the three of them. They meandered through the park, through blooming trees and ponds littered with blossoms and flower petals. Through trees with leaves just starting to sprout on the formerly barren branches that were beginning to rustle faintly in the wind, learning to talk again in the way trees do. 

They set their things down in the middle of a wide open area and took out a frisbee. Steve and Bucky used to throw footballs or baseballs around, but this was one of the few physical things they could all do together, aside from something like bowling, which they had done a lot of, mini golf, and such. But it was too nice a day to spend inside. It took Bucky a bit of time to get the hang of catching the frisbee with one hand, but soon they were all talking and laughing and running through the glen. Steve wasn’t as capable of running after it as Bucky and Thor, but that was fine, even if the two of them did sometimes make him run for it on purpose. Ever since the first workout with Thor, Thor had started teaching Steve how to work out, how to use the equipment and how to exercise properly. It was hard, but he also wasn’t as quick to tire as he used to be. Part of him enjoyed it, the feeling of endorphins coursing through his blood. Part of it might also be the attraction to Thor, but he would take it, whatever it was. He didn’t look much different, but physically he felt better, which was good if they all ended up going to Sweden. 

Sometime around noon they all returned to the basket in the middle and ate the sandwiches, potato salad, and bits of fruit Mrs. Bianchi had packed for them. Steve tasted the potato salad to be polite and was shocked to discover that he liked it.

“Is Mrs. Bianchi a witch?” Steve asked. Thor actually choked briefly on his BLT as he laughed at the question. After a brief coughing fit he resumed laughing, loud and boisterous. Thor rolled over onto his back in the grass.

“Not that I know of,” Thor replied. “But then, she has never said anything to us about it. We would not mind, of course, but I doubt it, somewhat.”

“Is this because you’ve finally found someone who makes a potato salad that you can stomach, punk?” Bucky asked with a grin as he tried said potato salad. “Mmmm, that’s amazing. No wonder.”

“Steve is an American and he does not like potato salad?” Thor asked. “I never thought that it was possible. Do you dislike apple pie? Vanilla ice cream? Hot dogs?”

“Thor, you know very well that I love hot dogs and vanilla ice cream,” Steve scolded playfully. “Stop being obtuse.”

“And for future reference,” Bucky added around a mouthful of potato salad, like a barbarian. “You should never stand between Stevie and an apple pie. He will eat it.”

Thor chuckled and Steve grinned. “Surely you jest,” Thor said. “Steve is not that big, I doubt he could eat an entire pie by himself. Unless it was extremely small.”

“That was _one_ time,” Steve protested. “And I did not eat the entire pie.”

“You’re right,” Bucky said with a grin. “I was able to get one small slice before you ate the rest of it.”

“But I didn’t eat the whole thing,” Steve pointed out.

“Sure, if we’re being technical.”

“When did this happen?” Thor asked. “And when will it happen again? I wish to witness this voracious side of you, _älskling_.”

Bucky laughed and shook his head. “Last summer,” he supplied. “On his birthday, because Steve doesn’t get cake, he gets apple pie.”

“Why does he get apple pie?” 

“Tradition,” Bucky said. “Steve’s birthday is on the 4th of July, so he’s always gotten apple pie. Sarah started the tradition.”

“Your birthday is on your country’s Independence Day?” Thor asked. 

“Yeah, what of it?” Steve asked. Steve felt his hackles rise, despite the fact that he knew that Thor would not make fun of him for it. It was force of habit by this point. 

“Nothing, it suits your warrior spirit,” Thor replied. 

“Oh.”

“Smooth, Thor,” Bucky said, shoving Thor’s shoulder. “What else can you do with that silver tongue?”

“Nothing fit for public consumption, I assure you,” Thor murmured. Steve snorted gracefully. 

“Keep it clean, guys,” Steve warned. Bucky flashed him a grin that promised anything but as he leaned in to kiss Thor. Thor kissed him back eagerly, reaching up with a hand to cup the back of Bucky’s head, his long, thick fingers carding through Bucky’s growing strands. Steve blushed and looked away, hoping that the sound of them making out would be enough to lessen the hard-on forming in his pants. 

“Love,” Thor whispered. “I believe our dear Steve is feeling a bit left out.”

Bucky had the nerve to smirk at Steve. “Nah, sweetheart,” he murmured against Thor’s lips. “He’s just enjoying the show. See?”

Steve’s mortification grew as Thor peaked down at the tent forming in Steve’s pants. He strategically placed the frisbee in his laugh and tried his best to ignore his lovers. That didn’t keep his blush from growing, however, as they laughed at his expense. Thankfully, while Bucky would have happily tortured him for the remainder of the afternoon, given the opportunity, Thor decided to show mercy. Must be because we’re in public, Steve thought. He hoped that was the case, anyway. 

Regardless, Steve was glad that they could forget their worries for a while. He was glad that they were happy.

* * *

Bucky lay awake that night. His throat felt too tight, his heart was racing in his chest, and he wondered why he bothered trying to sleep at all. Steve was nestled between them, as usual, his sleeping face looking peaceful, serene. Thor had rolled over so he was facing away from them in his sleep. Bucky was thankful that Thor didn’t snore, that he knew of. Loki snored like a freight train, if that one night Bucky had spent with him and Tony was anything to go by. 

Bucky listened to the sounds emanating from the silent house. The hissing pipes, the creaking of old walls in the wind, and floorboards settling. It was an eerie feeling, like the house itself knew what was coming and was holding its breath. Just like everyone else who lived there was holding their breath. Steve and Thor at least would be there to find out what happened when Bucky came out. Loki, Frigga, and Tony would all be here when they eventually returned. Loki and Frigga hid it well, but Bucky got the feeling that they were nervous, too. By contrast, Tony tried to pretend that he didn’t care that much, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. Everyone was on edge. 

It baffled Bucky. He hardly knew these people, yet they were as concerned about him as if they were his family. Bucky’s sister, Becca, knew that it was happening of course, and she was worried, too. But she was also 13 and didn’t know what to do about any of it. She was dealing with that special hell otherwise known as middle school and honestly, Bucky didn’t want to burden her with the stress of this situation or expect her to defy their parents openly. It was enough that he knew that she supported him in her own way. 

“Buck?” came Steve’s whisper. “You’re still awake?”

“Can’t sleep, Stevie,” he replied. “I tried. My head’s too full.”

Steve hummed. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”

Bucky swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I keep wondering if I should just… call it off, you know?” he asked. “Like, maybe this would all be better if I did it later or something.”

“We can if you want to,” Steve whispered. “It’s up to you.”

“No… no I want to. I’m just… I’m scared.”

Steve rolled over and began to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair. It was a ridiculous gesture… but it was soothing, oddly enough. Bucky closed his eyes and savored the feeling of Steve holding him. It was nice. 

“I’ve got you, Buck,” Steve murmured. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“What will you do? Defend my honor?”

“I will fucking pummel them for you and you know it.”

Bucky couldn’t help laughing at that. “I know. I love you, Stevie.”

Steve kissed the top of Bucky’s head and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck. Bucky wormed his right arm under Steve and wrapped it around his waist. Bucky held him close, like a boy clinging to a special blanket to keep the monsters at bay. Never in a million years did he ever expect that Steve would be this for him, a protector, an advocate. He let the sound of Steve’s heartbeat coax him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	55. The Tower (Disaster, Revelation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia

This is a horrible idea, Bucky thought. He was currently wearing a tread into the floor of Thor’s living room. He was exhausted. Even though he had been able to get some sleep last night thanks to Steve, it had not been restful sleep. He was still terrified and he was itching to move. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and honestly he was tempted to run, to put this business behind him and find someplace safe to just lay low. He hadn’t even seen his family in days. Bucky knew his mom was worried but he had limited his communication with her to simply that he was staying with Steve or hanging out with friends. 

Bucky was up early. He had snuck out of bed as soon as he was awake and come downstairs. He was debating whether to work out, to relieve some of his pent up energy, or to try and get some more sleep. It was only 6:30, after all. Most everyone else was asleep. 

“You look like a man going into battle,” said a voice. Bucky turned around and saw Odin regarding him thoughtfully. As much as the man vexed them, Bucky had to admit that he admired the man. “What is troubling you?”

Bucky’s voice caught in his throat. He tried to take a deep breath, but the words wouldn’t come. He refused to look weak in front of this man. Odin, remarkably, walked over and put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. He looked kind and concerned. Despite his best efforts, Bucky felt his guard relaxing. 

“I’m… I’m coming out to my parents today,” Bucky said quietly. He swallowed. Tears stung in his eyes and he fought the urge to let them fall down his face in front of Odin. Odin didn’t react, aside from a look of sympathy. 

“Sit,” Odin ordered. Bucky sat down at the edge of the couch and watched Odin walk out of the room. He returned a few minutes later, Frigga in tow and handed Bucky a thermos. Bucky sniffed experimentally. It was some kind of herbal something or other. Tea, probably. He drank some. It tasted a bit strange, honestly. He wasn’t sure how to describe it, but it helped calm him, so that was something. Frigga and Odin sat on either side of him. 

“Drink,” Odin ordered again.

Bucky did so. He drank it in one go. By the end, he was feeling slightly better. His heart rate was a little slower and he felt a little more relaxed. He leaned back and relaxed into the couch. 

“Are you ready, dear?” Frigga asked. 

“I don’t know,” Bucky said after a moment. “I guess I am, but at the same time, how can I be?”

“You will be fine,” Frigga said softly. “You won’t be alone. Steve and Thor will be there.”

“I know, it helps a little bit,” he admitted. “But this is still something I have to do and it scares me. It’s stupid, but it does.”

“It is not foolish to be afraid or to admit that you are,” Odin countered. “Many men who think themselves brave deny that they are afraid.”

“I just wish I could do this knowing that they would accept me,” Bucky sighed. “But they’re Baptists, so…”

Odin and Frigga grimaced at that. There was no need to elaborate. Baptists were pretty infamous for this sort of thing. Bucky sometimes wondered why he had ended up on the religious side of the family and not one like Steve’s. There were nonreligious people in his family. His dad tended to look down his nose at them, though. 

“How can we be of service?” Frigga asked. 

“Thanks, but I think I have everything I need right now,” Bucky replied. “We’re going to my aunt’s after we’re done. She’ll give us food at her restaurant.”

“Would you like us to pray to our gods for you?” Odin asked. Bucky blinked, stunned. Usually when people asked to pray for him it was either well-meaning old ladies at church or nosy evangelists from some kind of Christian fraternity or something at college. It was usually along the lines of praying for his immortal soul. This was the first time anyone who wasn’t a Christian had asked that of him.

“You mean… like now?” he asked. 

“No, while you are out,” Odin clarified.

“We can do it now if you want,” Frigga added. “But for us it is usually more private. Not like Christians who seem to like being seen praying.”

Bucky thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks.” 

Steve walked into the room a few minutes later looking bleary eyed and somewhat worried. He had apparently been worried enough about Bucky that he didn’t even bother putting a shirt on and Bucky’s eyes immediately fell to the scars on his collarbone, angry and red and brazen against Steve’s otherwise pale, smooth skin. The scars on the side of Steve’s body in a similar pattern and when Steve instinctively raised his hand to rub the sleep from his eyes, they too were exposed to the world, to his audience in front of him. 

“Bucky, you all right?” Steve yawned. “It’s a bit early yet. We’re not going until noon, right?”

“Couldn’t sleep again,” Bucky replied. “You wanna just relax here until you’re awake?”

Steve yawned again and nodded. Frigga and Odin got up and out of the way so Steve practically collapse on the couch on top of Bucky. Bucky carefully rotated his legs so that Steve was laying between them and lay his head on the armrest. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s chest.

“I’ve got ya, Buck,” Steve murmured. “I’m here.”

Bucky’s heart melted. Somehow, even when he was the small spoon, Steve managed to make Bucky feel safe and protected. He wondered if he would ever deserve this small man who could make lions feel like cowards.

* * *

Odin closed the door to the master bedroom, guilt settling around his shoulders like a shroud. Frigga was going through her morning ritual of brushing her long, gorgeous blond hair at her vanity. He allowed himself to admire her for a moment. All the long years they had been together and she was more beautiful to him now than the day he met her. Her grace, poise, and quiet strength had all magnified over the years. She was a woman capable of incredible warmth and frightening coldness. Currently, her back was towards him and he knew why. 

Odin swallowed his pride. He should have learned long ago that she was always right about these things. And yet again his pride had gotten in the way. Will I ever learn? he wondered. He suppressed a sigh. 

“You were right,” he said in Swedish. 

“What tipped you off this time?” she asked frostily. Odin flinched. He deserved that, considering the way he’d acted over the past few months. 

“Those scars,” he replied. “A boy that young ought not have scars like those.”

“You’re right,” she said. “But it shouldn’t have taken scars for you to decide to treat him decently, my love.”

“I know, love,” he murmured, sitting on the bed. “I will make it right.”

“See that you do,” she said, looking at him for the first time in the conversation. “Steve deserves that much, at least. A formal apology won’t cut it.”

He sighed. “Why have you put up with me all these years, my love?” he asked. “I must try the patience of the stones themselves.”

“Probably,” she agreed. “But you’re a good man at heart. I know that you do not mean to be dense.”

Odin got up and strode over to her. He bent down, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. He breathed in the scent of her expensive perfume and kissed her cheek. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, kissing her again. She hummed appreciatively.

“Don’t get any ideas,” she said. “I just finished brushing my hair.”

“I never have ideas,” Odin replied. Right before he scooped her up in his arms. She cried out before it turned into a laugh as he carried her to the bed. 

“I hate you,” she murmured playfully, mischief dancing in her eyes. 

“I know.”

* * *

Bucky stood outside his apartment building feeling terrified. Steve was holding his hand, their fingers laced together. If Bucky could have his way, Thor would be holding his other hand the same way. As it was, Thor had a hand resting on Bucky’s lower back and it did help. A few years ago, he could never have imagined doing it this way. It was his dream to have Steve by his side when he did this. He could never have imagined Thor being there, too.

“Are you ready, love?” Thor asked. Bucky chuckled nervously.

“Yeah… yeah. Or as ready as I’ll ever be, anyway.”

Bucky took another fortifying breath and walked up to the front door to let them in. Every step up the stairs to where his family’s apartment felt like tar. Every step was harder than the last. But he kept going. 

Step.

_What am I doing?_

Step.

_I can’t do this._

Step.

_My hand is so sweaty Steve must be grossed out._

Step.

Steve squeezed his hand encouragingly.

Step. 

Thor’s hand on his back began to move in soothing circles. 

Step. 

Bucky’s heartrate continued to climb, hammering in his chest like a machine gun, firing rapidly at a target he couldn’t see. 

Step. 

No turning back.

Eventually they reached the floor and stopped in front of the door to Bucky’s apartment. Bucky closed his eyes and took a few breaths to try and steady himself. He couldn’t seem to breathe deeply enough. Then, he extracted his hand from Steve’s to root around his pocket for his key to the apartment. The lock turned and he reached up to turn the knob with a shaky hand. 

_This is it_ , he thought. The moment of truth.

He opened the door and led them inside. He was instantly irritated. The apartment was so calm, like it was any other Saturday morning. It didn’t reflect the chaotic state of his mind like he was hoping. Becca looked up from the living room and smiled tentatively. His father, George, was sitting in the recliner reading the newspaper. He grinned as he saw them. 

“Hey stranger,” he said, getting up. Bucky’s father looked between the three of them. “Where you been? Your mother says you’ve been hanging out with Steve and a new friend. I’m George, by the way.”

“Thor,” Thor said cautiously, taking his hand. 

“Like the Norse god?” Thor actually blushed at the mention of his namesake before he nodded. “Good name. Strong. A man’s name.”

“Thanks?” Thor replied. 

“Steve, good to see you again,” his father said. “It’s been too long. Last time you weren’t exactly in the mood to socialize, though. How you holding up?”

“I’m fine, sir,” Steve replied simply. 

“Where’s mom?” Bucky asked. 

“Think she’s in the kitchen,” his father replied. 

“Can you go get her?” Bucky asked. “I… got something to say.”

“Sure thing, kid.”

His father left the room and Bucky resisted the urge to run out the door again. We’re in it now, he thought. No backing out now. That didn’t stop him from concocting escape routes in case things headed more south than he was already expecting. There was nothing to do except wait. 

“You all right, Bucky?” Becca asked. Bucky could see the worry in her eyes. She had been the only one to be against the idea, but she was still supporting him as the only person in his family who knew. 

“I’m fine,” he deflected. “This is Thor. You already know Steve. Thor, this is my sister, Becca.”

“If you hurt him I’ll kill you,” she said immediately. Thor, Bucky, and Steve actually all laughed at that. Some of the tension in the room dissipated.

“I would expect nothing less,” Thor replied. “But I think you would need to compete with Steve for that honor.”

“Nah, we’ll make it a collaborative effort,” Steve said with a conspiratorial wink towards Becca. She grinned deviously. Somehow the easy camaraderie between them made Bucky feel a little more at ease. Shortly after that, his parents walked back in. 

“Bucky, you’re back,” his mother said coolly. “Have you had enough of your childishness?” 

“‘Childishness’?” Bucky demanded. “Since when is it childish to be upset that your parents won’t let you see your family?”

“You know why we don’t let you see them,” she countered sharply. “Their unnatural lifestyle is a sin in the eyes of God and we are protecting you from it.”

“Which part is a sin?” Bucky demanded. “The part where they’re running a successful business or where they’re happily married to someone who loves them?”

“You know very well the answer to that question,” she snapped. “Or at least I hope you do. Clearly I should have done a better job raising you if you need to ask that question.”

Bucky set his jaw as he glared at his mother. “Mom, dad, I have something to say.”

He took Steve’s hand and entwined their fingers. Steve smiled encouragingly at up at him. Meanwhile, Thor laid a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky looked between them before he looked back at his parents. His mom was regarding him with narrowed eyes, like she knew where this was going. His father, though… his father looked like he was about to explode. 

“I’m pansexual,” Bucky said. “I like men. I’ve had sex with men. Steve and Thor are my boyfriends. We’ve been together for about a month. And… I hope that you can accept that.”

His parents glared at the three of them for a while. “You,” his mother finally said, glaring at Steve. “You did this.”

_What the hell?_ Bucky thought.

“You descended on my son while he was in the hospital and corrupted him!” she snarled. She was on her feet and faster than Bucky had ever seen her move before, she crossed the room and slapped Steve across the face. Bucky’s heart stopped as the smack resounded through the room and Steve stumbled backwards, but held onto Bucky’s hand. 

Thor was moving in an instant. He shoved his way between them and pushed her back, his face like a storm cloud. Bucky’s mom stumbled to the ground and glared at Bucky. Bucky’s felt frost in his veins. There was pure, unadulterated hate in her eyes. 

“When did this happen?” his father demanded coldly.

“I’ve always been attracted to men,” Bucky said. “And I’ve always loved Steve.”

“No you haven’t,” his father countered. “You chose this. You chose to be this way, when did you do it?!”

“Never,” Bucky replied adamantly, staring down his father. 

“Do you plan on keeping this up?” his father asked him slowly as he helped his wife up from the floor. Bucky swallowed. 

“Yes.”

“Get your things,” his father growled. “Pack your bags and get out.”

“What?!” Bucky, Steve, Thor, and Becca demanded. 

“Shut up, Rebecca!” his father shouted. “You shouldn’t even be here for this. Go to your room! You’re too young to deal with it.”

“I’m not going anywhere!”

“You can’t kick him out, he’s your son!” Thor roared. Bucky’s father moved to strike Thor, but Thor blocked it easily and shoved him back. Bucky’s father drew himself up. 

“That abomination is no son of mine.”

Bucky’s heart sank. He felt himself fall to his knees. Steve tried to catch him but Bucky was nearly twice his size. It was worse than he had imagined. Getting beaten he had expected. His boyfriends getting attacked, that wasn’t a surprise. Hearing that he was an abomination… that he had hoped wouldn’t happen, but he had suspected it. But this… being disowned, getting kicked out… somehow he had never let himself imagine that his family would do that, even though he knew what had happened to Sophia and Tonya. Suddenly his world came crashing down around him and there was nothing but darkness. He felt cold. 

“Dad… please…” he whispered. “Please don’t do this.”

His father walked over to him and looked down into his eyes. Bucky tried to communicate how desperately he wanted his father to take those words back. Then his father backhanded him across the face. Bucky cried out as he fell back on the floor on his bad shoulder. He rolled over in time to see Thor and Steve launch themselves at the older man. Becca helped him up, but neither of them could look away from the scene before them. Thor did the literal heavy lifting, dragging the older man down to the floor. Steve went for the weak spots: the groin, the liver, the face. Part of Bucky wanted to beg them to stop, but his voice seemed to have abandoned him. Along with his parents it seemed. 

Eventually they stopped. Blood was pouring down his dad’s face, one of his eyes was black, and from the way he was curled in on himself, Bucky figured his dad would be sore for a while. His mom was staring at them in shock. Bucky was still reeling. He felt both numb and like there were a thousand different emotions all rattling around in his mind trying to come out. 

“Come on, Buck,” Steve whispered. “We’ll help you pack. Let’s get out of here.”

Bucky just nodded and let Thor lead him as they followed Steve and Becca to his room. There was a part of him that was waiting to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... that could have gone better. Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	56. 3 of Swords (Rejection, Grief, Painful Loss)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia

Clockwork. They moved like clockwork. Bucky felt like a machine. Right foot. Left foot. Fold the shirt. Put it in the suitcase. Grab a toothbrush. He packed up until his bag was nearly bursting since he wasn’t sure if his parents would let him come back later to grab anything. He also grabbed his backpack and packed his games up. He sure as hell wasn’t about to leave those here.

Steve and Thor seemed to do most of the packing as far as clothes were concerned. Becca helped where she could. None of them said much of anything. Bucky couldn’t find the words, honestly. He was still reeling. He could hear his dad… or maybe Bucky should call him George, now… stomping around the apartment. Bucky could hear his mom crying loudly from the living room. The sounds filled the space like grease and made Bucky feel dirty, ashamed. 

_I should have left it alone_ , he thought. _I should never have tried to do this. I should have kept my mouth shut._

Finally they could stuff no more of Bucky’s belongings into the suitcase or the backpack. Thor slung the backpack over his shoulder while Steve rolled the suitcase out the door. Bucky turned to look around the room. Band posters had been taken down and rolled up to put somewhere else. The room had been stripped of everything that would fit and there were a few useless knickknacks left that Bucky had just used to busy his hands. There was also a pair of pictures. One of his family smiling at a beach somewhere on his desk and another of Bucky and his sister being silly on his nightstand. He took the picture and handed it to his sister. 

“Take care of it,” he said. Becca’s face fell and she started to cry. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” she whispered. “This is wrong.”

“Hey,” he murmured. “I’ll be here. I’m going to Aunt Sophia’s. They have spare room they said I could use for a while. You can come visit me whenever you want.”

“I still don’t want you to leave, Buck,” she countered. 

“I know.” The tears were stinging in his eyes and he fought to keep them from falling down his cheeks. “It’s better this way.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” she said. 

“You’re right.” Bucky sighed and pulled his sister into a hug. She cried against his chest as she clung to him. He clung to her as well, just in case this was the last time he saw her in a while. He wanted to remember what she looked like. Bucky closed his eyes and the tears fell down his cheeks, staining them before the fell onto Becca’s hair. She was right. Nothing about what happened was right. 

Someone cleared their throat. Bucky opened his eyes and looked. His mom was standing there and pulled Becca away from him. Becca pulled herself free and raced away to her room and slammed the door before their mom could see the picture she held in her hands. 

“You should get going,” she said evenly. 

“Yeah,” Bucky replied, rubbing the tears away from his cheeks. “I’m going.”

“Whenever you’re ready to repent and be part of this family again, you know where to find us,” she said icily. “And you stay away from my daughter. The last thing we need is another queer in this family.”

Bucky tried to glare at her, but he couldn’t. Instead he just walked towards the door and showed himself out. As soon as the door was closed he collapsed against the wall, bracing himself with his good arm and started to sob brokenly. He felt two pairs of arms wrap around him. A strong, thick pair wrapping around his waist from behind and a small, slim pair that wrapped around his neck from in front of him. None of them said anything, but Steve and Thor clung to him as desperately as Becca had and it was a small comfort, honestly. After a few moments, Bucky began to calm down somewhat. His sobbing tapered and he let himself take comfort in the feeling of being held. 

“Come on,” Steve whispered after a moment. “Let’s get out of here.”

Bucky sighed. “Yeah. Okay.”

* * *

About an hour later they arrived at Sophia’s restaurant. It was around noon and the weekend lunch crowd made the place packed. There wasn’t a seat available for them. Even their usual spot was taken by a family of four. The children were laughing at something one of the parents had said while the other rolled her eyes with a fond smile on her face. The image made Bucky’s heart ache. 

Sophia only needed glance at Bucky to know what happened, it seemed. She left the restaurant and led them up the stairs to her and her wife’s apartment. Bucky was grateful. He didn’t really feel like being around a crowd of people right now. The idea of breaking down again in a place where people could see was too much.

Bucky collapsed on the couch as soon as they were through the door. He glanced down at his immobile arm. The cast was due to come off in a week or so. The doctors said it was making surprisingly good progress considering the accident that caused it. Bucky couldn’t wait, but a thought occurred to him that made him huff, although it lacked any humor. 

“What is it?” Thor asked.

“I wonder if I’ll have to pay for this myself, now,” Bucky explained. “My health insurance was through my parents’ jobs. I wonder if they’ll still be okay with me being covered under their insurance plan.”

Neither Thor nor Steve said anything to that. Honestly, Bucky wasn’t sure what he wanted them to say. They seemed as shaken by this development as he was. 

Thor was the one who broke the silence. “I cannot believe that they actually did that.”

Bucky hummed as he felt a surge of emotions in his chest. He fought to keep them down. He lost. Bucky felt his lower lip start to tremble and as soon as it did, his defenses came crashing back down. Tears fell down his face and his body shook as the weeping began anew. He felt a shift on the sofa next to him before someone pulled Bucky into a gentle embrace. He could feel Thor’s beard above him as Bucky settled into the crook of Thor’s neck. He cried onto Thor’s shoulder. The scent of pine and wood smoke mingled with the smells from the kitchen downstairs filled his nostrils. It calmed him somewhat. 

“Thank you,” Bucky whimpered. Bucky sniffed and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Thank you for being there today.”

“I would never have had you face… that, face them, alone,” Thor murmured. Thor’s hand stroked Bucky’s hair gently. Bucky sighed into the touch and closed his eyes. He suddenly felt very tired. When Bucky yawned, Thor shifted around so that Bucky was situated between his legs. Bucky laid down with his face nestled in Thor’s chest.

“Sleep, Buck,” Steve whispered on his other side. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

Bucky nodded and drifted off.

* * *

_Machines whirring. Strange men in strange coats speaking strange words. They were somehow both familiar and foreign to Bucky. A portly man with beady eyes called him “Sergeant.” A mouth guard forced into Bucky’s mouth as he was strapped to a machine. And there was hot, blinding pain in his head as if someone took a hot poker and seared something important from his brain._

_“Put him on ice.”_

_Cold. The left side of his body was cold. And different. He was strapped to a table again. Bucky looked down at a metal appendage in the shape of a regular human arm where his left arm should be. Strange and familiar and foreign, but his hand made a fist like a normal hand would do._

_“Sergeant Barnes.” The portly man said again on his right side beneath a blinding surgical light. Pain. His shoulder was in agonizing pain. Another scientist was on his left side, tinkering with Bucky’s metal arm._

_“Abomination.” He said. He sounded like Bucky’s father. Suddenly Bucky’s arm was free of its restraints and Bucky had his hand wrapped around the scientist’s throat, crushing his windpipe._

_“Put him on ice.”_

_Wind rushing through his hair as Bucky jumped on top of the moving car. His metal hand crashed through the window and he grabbed someone and threw them into oncoming traffic. Gunfire, shouting, screaming, cars rushing past as Bucky—no that was wrong, he was a Weapon—was thrown from the car. The Weapon’s metal hand dug into the concrete beneath him with ease, saving his flesh body from being torn up on the road._

_3 targets. A slim woman with red hair who dispatched lesser agents with ease, a tall, broad black man with obvious military training, and white man with broad shoulders and a ridiculous shield who ran faster and hit harder. But not fast enough to evade the Weapon and not strong enough to damage it._

_Civilians screaming, cars exploding. A short, plump woman with ambiguous blue eyes and a familiar cleft chin who was too stupid to run backed up against a building, glaring at him defiantly._

_“No son of mine.”_

_The Weapon turned and ran, a strange hollow feeling howling in his chest followed him like his shadow. And maybe if he ran fast enough he could escape._

_The man with the shield attacked him, throwing the shield at him like a frisbee. The Weapon dodged it effortlessly. The shield embedded itself in the back of a van. The Weapon took out a knife and they fought, their styles and abilities completely different, but neither gaining the upper hand. The Weapon’s metal arm gave him an edge that only lasted long enough for the man to get his shield back. The man managed to knock the knife from the Weapon’s grip and the Weapon managed to separate his foe from that damned shield. They grappled in the street, nearly evenly matched until the man threw the Weapon off and the mask concealing the Weapon’s face fell. The man looked stunned._

_“Bucky?”_

_“Who the hell is Bucky?” the Weapon demanded._

* * *

Bucky jerked awake and nearly leaped off the couch, his chest heaving with exertion. He nearly tripped over the coffee table in his effort to get away from… whatever that had been. He could remember bits and pieces of it. He could remember the man with the shield, who looked shockingly like Steve, if Steve had suddenly grown a foot taller and put on another 100 pounds of muscle overnight. He could remember the woman, who looked like Natasha. He remembered the metal arm, which was kinda cool and at least he had been able to use it. 

But the rest… being on an operating table, the surgeon with his dad’s voice, the scientist with the beady eyes and the cold, calculating look, the woman in the city with the angry, defiant look in her eyes who looked like… his mom. He hadn’t even recognized Steve in the dream. What was worse, Bucky hadn’t recognized himself. Bucky didn’t want to think about it. 

All this flashed through his mind in the span of a couple seconds. Thor had jumped awake as well, ready to fight, apparently. Steve was nowhere to be seen, which probably meant that he was in the bathroom or something. 

“Bucky, what’s wrong?” Thor asked once he had his wits about him again.

“Nothing,” Bucky replied automatically. “I’m fine… just a bad dream.”

“Do you wish to talk about it?” 

Bucky wasn’t sure if Thor was talking about coming out to his folks or the dream. Honestly, he didn’t care. As much as he wanted to go back to sleep and shun the world like a big, emotionally distraught hermit crab, Bucky also wanted to say something. Bucky sighed, feeling like his shoulders were weighed down with lead blocks. He didn’t feel rested. Actually, Bucky felt more tired than he had been when he fell asleep. Bucky sat back down on the couch and slumped over his knees. 

“It doesn’t feel real, you know?” Bucky found himself saying. “All of this feels like a dream. Surreal.”

Thor hummed. Bucky felt a hand sneak around and take his. Thor entwined their fingers together. A ghost of a smile twitched on Bucky’s lips.

“I don’t know how to feel,” Bucky continued. “I just… I wish it went better. I wish literally anything else had happened.”

“I know. I do, too.”

A toilet flushed, a sink faucet turned on, and a couple minutes later, Steve emerged from the bathroom. He saw them awake and upright and immediately sat on Bucky’s other side. Bucky turned to look at him with a weak smile. 

“Thank you,” Bucky whispered. He turned to look into Thor’s eyes. They looked as sad as Bucky felt, an ocean of sorrow restrained by sheer force of will. “Both of you. I know… it should’ve gone better, but if I had to do it again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I couldn’t have done it without you guys.”

Thor closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Bucky’s. After a moment, Bucky closed his eyes as well. Their breathing synchronized after a moment and Bucky felt slightly better. Less wrung out, at any rate. After another moment, Thor pulled away and kissed Bucky’s forehead. Bucky felt warmth spread through his body at the gesture. 

“I am not sure if this will help,” Thor murmured. “But you deserve better than them. I am sorry for what happened today with them.”

“I know mom will never forgive them,” Steve added. “I might not, either.”

The vindictiveness shouldn’t have appealed to Bucky, but it did. There was a part of him that wanted something terrible to happen to them for what they did. At the same time… they were still his family, even if they didn’t seem to think so. It was a confusing mix of emotions. 

“Steve,” Bucky said. “When Joe died, how did you feel?”

Steve seemed to understand why he asked. Thor looked between them, perplexed. Steve thought for a moment. 

“I couldn’t believe it at first,” Steve answered. “It didn’t feel real. But then mom identified his body at the morgue and...”

Steve took a deep breath as he recalled what happened. “I felt relieved, honestly. Guilt for feeling relieved. Mom poured out every drop of alcohol he’d had in the apartment. There was a part of me that thought I should feel sad because he was my dad. People assumed that I was sad, anyway, you know, at the funeral.”

Bucky hummed in affirmation. Bucky had been one of the few people who showed up for the funeral who knew just how horrible Joe had been. He wouldn’t have gone at all if not for Steve, who had to be there. 

This was different. Bucky did feel sad. And angry. And… disappointed. The disappointment sort of subdued all his other emotions at the moment. Maybe it was because he was just emotionally drained or something, that the only thing that was left was the crippling disappointment that everything had gone so much worse than Bucky had expected. 

“Do you need anything?” Steve asked. “Sophia said there was some tea in the cupboards and that we should feel free to ask Tonya to make something. The lunch crowd is nearly over.”

“I could go for some comfort food.”

Sure enough, Tonya started cooking away in their kitchen as soon as the lunchtime crowd had dissipated. The smells of fried chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes were mingling with the scent of garlic, pasta sauces, and Italian seasonings. It was comforting, honestly. When lunch was done, the five of them sat around the big dining room table and dug in to Tonya’s good old-fashioned southern cooking. Bucky was amazed that the food didn’t taste like ash in his mouth, that he was able to enjoy the food. 

“You got a plan, kid?” Tonya asked while they were eating. Bucky chuckled darkly as he bit into a chicken leg, the skin crinkling as his teeth broke through to tear a bite off the savory, juicy meat. 

“No,” he said, swallowing. “I’m an idiot, too, for it. I honestly didn’t expect them to do… this.”

“You’re not an idiot, Buck,” Steve said, placing a hand on his. “No one wants to expect their parents to reject them like this.”

“I should have seen it coming,” Bucky insisted. “My mom hasn’t spoken to her sister in years because of this. I should have been prepared for it.”

“Bucky, your boyfriend is right,” Sophia replied gently. “Being prepared for it and actually going through it are two different things. Even if you had planned for it, actually being disowned and kicked out is the most difficult thing you will experience.”

“Still, I don’t have a place lined up,” Bucky said. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean you do not have a place lined up?” Thor demanded. “You have Steve. You have me. You have your aunts, the family that will not abandon you. Do you honestly believe that we would let you live on the streets?” 

“I can’t ask you to do that for me!” Bucky protested.

“Why not?” Steve asked. “We’ve helped you through this every step of the way. You think we would stop just because your parents did what they did?”

“It’s pointless to speculate on this, at any rate,” Tonya interjected. “We prepared the spare room for you. We’re your family, even if your parents seem to have forgotten that. You will stay here.”

Bucky opened his mouth to protest, but the butch, tatted woman his aunt was married to scowled at him, daring him to say why he couldn’t do it. He shut his mouth. Tonya brooked no bullshit, particularly not from people too proud to accept help. It got her into trouble sometimes, but she never apologized for it. Bucky sighed. 

“Sorry. I’m being an ass.”

“ _Mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor said gently. “If anyone has the right to be an ass today, it is surely you. Do not be so hard on yourself.”

_God dammit_ , Bucky thought, as he felt the tears forming anew. He bowed his head, unable or unwilling to meet anyone’s eyes while he fought to keep them under control. 

“Buck.”

“’M sorry,” he mumbled. “I just… need a minute.”

“You don’t need to apologize for crying,” Steve said. “Everyone does it. There’s no shame in tears.”

Bucky broke down. He hunched over the table and cried for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day. He was sick of it. He was tired. But he couldn’t’ seem to stop and he hated himself for it. He hated feeling weak, feeling vulnerable. Bucky was taught to be strong. How could he be that way when he couldn’t even control his own emotions? Yet his boyfriends and his aunts didn’t seem to mind in the slightest that he never seemed to be able to keep himself from crying today.

They waited patiently for him to finish, to regain some semblance of composure. When he finally did, he sniffed and looked across the table at his aunts. Sophia and Tonya looked at him sympathetically. Makes sense, he thought. They’ve been through this, too. They know what it’s like.

“What did you do after you told my parents that you two were getting married?”

“Exactly what we’re doing now,” Tonya answered. “We went and found our friends and we cried.”

“ _She_ cried,” Sophia corrected. “ _I_ yelled. Our friends listened. We ate food and surrounded ourselves with people we loved.”

Bucky looked from them to his boyfriends. Thor smiled gently at him while Steve laid his hand on Bucky’s. Bucky smiled and grasped it a bit more fiercely than he meant to, but Steve didn’t flinch in the slightest. Bucky felt love for Steve and affection for Thor rise in his chest, but the words caught on his tongue. Especially for Thor. Surely it was too soon to feel this way about a guy he had only been dating for a month, to feel like he was really falling for the guy. But Thor was one of those people who displayed his emotions on his face like a billboard. Bucky could see the same affection he felt for Thor advertised on Thor’s face. 

Maybe it would be all right. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> In case anyone is wondering, Bucky's situation with his parents will be resolved in a later story. I have ideas floating around, but I promise it's not going to be like this forever. 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	57. 4 of Wands (Celebration, Community, Transition)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW to make up for the horrible angst of the past couple chapters.

Bucky spent the next few days settling in to living with his aunts. It took him a few days to start getting used to the routine. Sophia had offered to hire him on somewhere in the restaurant if it made him feel better about using their room. He usually worked during the brunch and lunch shifts, from 10 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon. It did help, somewhat, and he was able to do something during the day while he waited for his boyfriends to get out of school. He spent more time with them than ever now. He also realized that there was something to that belief that work was good for grief. Even if most of his work was as a host, with his broken arm keeping him from waiting tables or washing dishes, it was still something. 

Steve and Thor were good for grief, too. They were there for him both physically and emotionally. As much as Bucky hated to admit it, he sometimes needed a shoulder to cry on during the times when it still didn't feel real. Both of them were good for that and never commented on how much time Bucky spent crying when he wasn't at the restaurant. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he would be okay. It wasn't what he had hoped for and he was still sad, but with Steve and Thor around to catch him, he would eventually get better. 

If it hadn't been for them, Bucky was sure it would have gone much worse. If it hadn't been for them, Bucky might not have had the courage to come out at all. Bucky didn't know that it was possible for him to love Steve more, but he did. As for Thor... Bucky could feel something there, growing slowly but surely like a little tree. 

Bucky was looking forward to seeing where it went. He had no idea if these feelings would grow into love in time, but one thing was certain: he was looking forward to finding out.

* * *

Nearly a week after the disastrous coming out, Bucky headed to the hospital to have his cast removed. _Fucking finally_ , he thought as he walked through the doors. The damn cast had done nothing but get in the way during the past month and a half he’d had it. Especially when his arm had itched and he hadn’t been able to do anything about it. That was infuriating. 

But aside from that, Bucky was tired of not being able to use his arm, even if he still had to wait to regain full use of his arm. He wanted to run his fingers through Thor’s hair, pick up Steve in his arms, play games, lift things, shower without a damn bag over his arm. The list went on. 

It was a good time to get the cast off. Prom was in a couple weeks and even though the three of them hadn’t discussed their plans for the night, Bucky was personally hoping that they would all be able to go together. It wasn’t like it would possibly go any worse than it had with his parents. Besides, what were they going to do? Bucky would have both arms, Thor was the biggest guy in the school, and Steve had the balls of a bull. Between the three of them, they could handle some petty bullies. 

The cast came off without a fuss. In fact, the doctor was surprised by how much healing had already taken place. It was still significantly weaker than it used to be, due to his muscles atrophying, but still. It stank of old, stale skin, but even that wasn’t enough to dampen Bucky’s mood as he flexed his hand, his elbow, and rotated his shoulder experimentally. There weren’t any hints of pain or discomfort, which seemed to be a good sign.

Sophia was with him in lieu of his mother, in case Bucky’s parents had already gotten around to taking him off their insurance. It seemed unlikely, but after the debacle of coming out to them, Bucky wasn’t in the mood to take chances. Sophia and Tonya were in the process of having him added as a dependent, in the likely event that this estrangement from his family became a long term situation. He hated it, but he was also willing to recognize that barring his finding a job with upwards of 6 figures a year, he needed someone to help him pay the bills. 

They celebrated by going back to the restaurant in time to open for the lunch crowd, whereupon Sophia asked if he wanted to wait tables or have Tonya show him the ropes in the kitchen. 

“I want to work with Tonya, no offense,” he answered. “Cooking is a thing I have to learn how to do eventually, right? Can’t live off pancakes forever.”

“That’s quitter talk if ever I’ve heard it,” Sophia said with a grin before she shooed him away to the kitchen. 

“Hey kid, nice arm,” Tonya said by way of greeting. “Need something?”

“Sophia asked if I wanted to wait tables or learn my way in the kitchen,” Bucky replied. “So here I am. I’ll try not to burn anything.”

“It’s a rite of passage, kid,” she said with a grin. “Go on, grab an apron and wash up, if you’re gonna work in the kitchen, I’m gonna make sure you do it right.”

Tonya, it turned out, was an actual taskmaster in the kitchen, which wasn’t surprising. She started with some basics, having him chop vegetables and such for the dishes they served. It was hot, demanding work, and Bucky quickly learned how to do his job quickly and efficiently. When 3:00 finally rolled around and they closed for the afternoon, Bucky collapsed in the freezer to catch his breath. The door opened a moment later and Tonya joined him.

“So, still feel like working in the kitchen?”

“You know, somehow I never imagined that working in a restaurant would be quite so… intense,” he replied. “But I tell you, it’s good to be able to do something again.”

“I bet,” she replied, smacking his shoulder. Bucky gave an exaggerated wince. “All right, finish up in here and get going. Your boyfriends will want to see you now that your cast’s finally off.”

Bucky smiled at that and ran his left hand through his hair. God, but it felt good to be able to move it again. 

“Can’t wait to see their faces.”

* * *

Steve had spent the week after Bucky’s coming out veering between guilt and pride. Guilt over what happened, and pride for Bucky’s perseverance even in the face of the backlash he had experienced from his parents. Part of Steve felt bad for encouraging him to go through with it. Part of him felt inordinately proud that Bucky had done so even though Bucky had been terrified the entire time leading up to it. If they could do it over again, Steve would want to try harder to get them to accept Bucky, though he had no idea what he could have said to make them do so. 

He sighed. Thor looked at him from across the lab table sympathetically. They had been consoling each other since that day. Steve was trying to focus on Bucky getting his cast off today, though. He probably had it off by now. They hadn’t heard from him aside from a text asking whose place they were going to after school (Thor’s). Steve was excited to see him out of it. 

“ _Älskling_ , we could not have done anything more,” Thor whispered. They were finagling with some lab or something on gravity. The idea was to see who could devise the simplest means of keeping an egg intact while dropping it from a height of 20 feet. It baffled Thor, but Steve found the challenge invigorating. They were trying to make a plan. The team who made the simplest method got extra credit and a $20 Starbucks gift card. 

“I know, babe,” Steve replied. “It’s just… I’ve known them for most of my life. I should’ve seen it coming, should have done something.”

“No one wants to think the worst of their friends or family.”

“Steve, Thor, make sure you’re focusing on your work, please,” Ms. Foster said from the other side of the room. Steve blushed and returned to their work. He was having trouble focusing and he was just trying to get through the last 15 minutes of school. She seemed to have some super power to detect when anyone was slacking off. She was especially hard on Thor and Steve because she was not one to believe that just because someone was doing well in the class that meant that they could afford to slack off. She pushed them harder. 

They made a little progress before the bell rang and Steve sighed as they packed their bags. Ms. Foster called them to her desk before they left the room. Steve swallowed and tried not to be nervous about why she might call them. 

“Guys, should I be concerned about you two working together?” she asked. “Your work this week has been… subpar. Is something going on?”

Thor and Steve looked at each other. Steve wasn’t sure what to say. They hadn’t discussed whether to come out as being in a polyamorous relationship or when they would do that if they did. Bucky didn’t go to this school anymore so it seemed like it wasn’t a big deal or an immediate concern. Looking into Thor’s eyes, Steve could see similar conflict swirling around trailing through his mind. 

“We might as well,” Steve said. “She hasn’t given us reason to distrust her yet.”

Ms. Foster didn’t even blink at that. Thor nodded slowly. 

“Very well, if you’re sure. But we will need to tell him later that we did this,” Thor replied. 

“So what’s up? I promise, nothing you say here will leave this room,” she said. She got up to close the door just to be sure. 

“We’re… um, well, we’re in a poly relationship,” Steve explained. Ms. Foster’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Our boyfriend, well, he came out to his parents last weekend.”

“It did not go well, to say the least,” Thor added. “He was kicked out.”

“Is he a student here?” she asked. “Because if he is, and if he’s a minor, we need to call child protective services.”

“He’s not a student and he’s not a minor,” Steve said. “And he has family that took him in, so he’s fine.”

“That’s good,” she replied. “Now, I understand why you two have been distracted lately. You’re not in trouble. But please do try to not let it distract you too much. It could have been worse.”

“Not much worse, honestly,” Steve grumbled, but considering the horror stories that surrounded. Christians and their LGBTQ kids, she certainly wasn’t wrong on that count. 

They made their way out to the car where Mr. Baker was waiting for them as usual. Steve, Thor, Loki, and Tony all piled into the vehicle. It was a somewhat tight fit, but they made do. 

“So Cap,” Tony said with a glint of mischief in his eyes. Tony had come up with this ridiculous nickname for him recently and honestly it baffled Steve. But it could’ve been worse, so Steve let it slide. “I just found out that you and Thor are dating Bucky.”

“You didn’t know?” Steve asked. Thor let out a booming laugh at that. “How? We were even less subtle with him than we were with each other.”

“Seriously, though, two hot boyfriends,” Tony said, clapping Steve on the shoulder. “I’m so proud of you, little Cap! If I knew that Bucky was into that sort of thing I would have asked him months ago!”

“You saying you want another boyfriend, too, Tony?” Loki asked, his hand going to Tony’s lap. “Do I not satisfy you, love?”

“Of course you do, sugar cakes,” Tony replied, his eyes lidded as he regarded Loki. “But you have to admit, it would be exciting. Imagine what all we could do.”

“I’m too busy imagining all the things I could still do to just you,” Loki purred. Steve scooted closer to Thor. 

“Babe, why is your family so weird?” Steve asked. Thor sighed something in Swedish.

“If only I knew, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied. “I sometimes wonder if I am the only normal one.”

“And you, dear brother, have two boyfriends,” Loki countered with his Cheshire smile. “That’s hardly par for the course, is it?”

“If that is the only strange thing about me, then I can surely count it a blessing.” 

“Maybe you’re just the greedy one in the family,” Tony proposed. 

“Says the one who wishes he had made moves on our boyfriend a few months ago,” Steve drawled. “And who apparently wants to have more people in the relationship for the sake of making it more exciting.”

“Touché, Captain,” Tony replied. “Let me know if you’re ever interested. We’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”

“Beware of whom you proposition, Tony,” Thor growled. “My boyfriends are off-limits. And I am not afraid of throwing you out of a moving car.”

“Loki, plum muffin, you’ll protect me, won’t you?” Tony cried with faux fear.

“Plum muffin?” Steve asked. Loki rolled his eyes. 

“Nice knowing you, love,” Loki said neutrally. “It was fun while it lasted.”

Tony pouted. “How come Steve gets the boyfriends who’ll leap to defend his honor and mine won’t even defend my life?” 

“If it makes you feel better,” Loki amended, with a grin. “I would avenge your loss. I probably wouldn’t kill them, but… actually, you never know. If you died, anything is possible.”

“That’ll work, my sugar lips.” 

Steve snickered at that. Thor and Loki groaned. 

“If you keep calling me that, I will help Thor throw you out of the car,” Loki threatened.

* * *

They arrived a few minutes later. Bucky was waiting for them in the living room. Steve grinned from ear to ear when he saw the cast off Bucky’s arm and jumped into his arms. Bucky laughed and swung him around like they were in some cheesy romance story. When Bucky set him down, Steve marveled at his healed arm. It was smaller than his other arm, of course, but it seemed fully functional, as Steve had learned firsthand. 

Bucky looked down into Steve’s eyes and took his face in both hands and kissed him. It was hot and passionate and joyful and Steve smiled against his lover’s lips. Bucky came off a little too soon for Steve’s liking and walked over to Thor and kissed him, burying both his hands in Thor’s golden locks. Thor hummed with pleasure into the kiss and when he came up for air, his eyes were lidded and dark and hungry in the way that made Steve shiver. 

“Bed,” he growled lowly. “Now.”

Bucky hummed in response and his hands migrated down Thor’s body to cup the beautiful, glorious, firm globes of Thor’s ass with both hands. Bucky grinned and turned around to look lustfully at Steve. 

“Coming, doll?” 

If that didn’t light a fire in Steve’s loins, nothing surely would. Thor practically carried Bucky up the stairs himself and Steve followed shortly after, practically slamming the door shut behind them. Thor deposited Bucky unceremoniously onto the bed and immediately covered Bucky’s body with his own, kissing him passionately. Steve was suddenly very, very hard seeing his lovers move together with such gusto. 

Thor came off him and they looked over at where Steve stood rooted to the floor like a tree, bearing witness to their passion and love. Bucky held out his healed hand wordlessly, coaxing Steve to their side like a siren song. Steve crawled up onto the bed and joined them. Thor captured his lips with a kiss no less hot or passionate than the one he had just given Bucky. Steve moaned into Thor’s mouth, letting Thor’s tongue into his with no resistance. Bucky sat up and pulled Steve into a kiss of his own. Steve had a split second to breathe before Bucky’s arm was wrapped around his neck and his lips were claimed anew, drinking from him like a man dying of thirst. Behind him, Thor was starting to peel Steve’s shirt off. Bucky and Steve separated just long enough for Thor to pull it over Steve’s head and toss it carelessly aside. Bucky looked down at Steve’s body, skinny and angular and scarred as it was. Steve habitually moved to hide his scars as he still sometimes did when he was overwhelmed with emotion or other intense feelings. 

“You’re so amazing, doll,” Bucky murmured, his hands roaming over Steve’s body. “So beautiful. So sexy.”

“Bucky,” Steve whispered, his breath ghosting over the beautiful curve of Bucky’s heart-shaped lips.

“Shh, baby,” Bucky whispered against his neck. Steve pulled away, exposing the sensitive flesh. Bucky kissed his way up to Steve’s ear, where he nipped and tugged at the lobe playfully. “Gonna take such good care of you tonight.”

Thor purred in affirmation into Steve’s other ear. Steve shivered as he felt Thor’s hands sliding down his body stopping just above the hem of Steve’s jeans. Steve rutted back against Thor’s body silently begging him to release him from the uncomfortable restraints. Bucky was similarly heedless of Steve’s plight as he kissed and sucked at his collarbone opposite the side that bore the scars. 

“Patience, _älskling_ ,” Thor purred into his ear. “You will have your… fill soon enough.”

Steve whined and Thor captured his lips again in a fiery kiss. Steve whined again into Thor’s mouth and raised a hand to card his fingers through his lover’s hair. His other hand roamed over Bucky’s powerful, bulky chest, his fingers ghosting over a nipple. Bucky moaned wantonly against Steve’s neck. Steve smiled against Thor’s lips as he felt the vibrations against his skin like ripples over water. 

Steve moaned as Bucky sucked at his neck. Steve began to rut against his lovers, desperate for some kind of friction or release, but they held fast, hands caressing, pinching, teasing his body. Bucky’s blunt nails scratched softly along the length of Steve’s back while Thor’s hands teased Steve’s nipples. Bucky sucked at his collarbone as Thor gave kissed, licked, and nipped at the other side of his neck. Steve could hear each of them breathing, humming, moaning in his ears. He could feel the evidence of their arousal straining at their pants, pressing against his body. He felt so small as they held him. Small, yet oddly powerful. That he could elicit such a reaction from each of them, drive them to such distraction that they ravished him like starving men at a feast. 

Bucky leaned back a ways and pulled his shirt off effortlessly for the first time in months. Steve smiled and let his hands roam over Bucky’s hot, muscled chest as Bucky surged forward to capture Steve’s lips again. Steve could feel Thor relieving himself of his shirt behind him and turned away to let Thor kiss him as well. Bucky’s mouth started making his way down Steve’s chest, sucking and biting at the smooth skin before his mouth latched around one of Steve’s nipples and sucked hard. Steve mewled into Thor’s mouth and raised a hand to bury his fingers in Bucky’s long, silky hair. 

When Thor finally separated from him, Steve was dizzy and gasping for breath. If his boyfriends were trying to suck his soul out of his body somehow, it felt like it was working and Steve didn’t mind one bit. The bastards took their time, mouths and hands ghosting over his skin, making Steve’s body sing with pleasure. Some part of his mind that was still functioning through the rush of endorphins realized that this would probably turn into a threesome and somehow that didn’t seem as intimidating at first. Even if what they had done before might have technically been a threesome according to some, Steve wasn’t sure because each of them had taken turns watching the other two. But this… this was probably going to turn into what Steve had imagined it would be like. All three of them, taking their pleasure from each other at the same time. 

The thought of it made him shiver and God damn his pants because his cock was so hard it hurt as it was straining against the restrictive fabric. Steve’s hands wandered down to his pants to unbutton them before Bucky chuckled lowly and grabbed his wrists. Thor hummed behind him, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist, his hands resting just above the hem of Steve’s jeans. 

“Say please, doll,” Bucky murmured wickedly. Steve struggled weakly against Bucky’s grip, but stopped when Thor nipped at his earlobe. 

“You planned this,” Steve accused breathily. “You planned on teaming up on me.”

“Now, _älskling_ ,” Thor purred into Steve’s ear. “Would we do that? Conspire for an entire afternoon to pounce on you?” 

Steve shivered against Thor, feeling the heat from his broad, powerful chest against his back. Thor chuckled knowingly, his fingers rubbing teasing circles beneath Steve’s navel. It was the same game they always played, the same one that they had started the first time they went all the way on Valentine’s Day. The waiting game, to see who would break first, who would cave. Whether who’s need for the other would prove more powerful.

“Yes,” Steve said. Bucky chuckled and came up to nuzzle Steve’s face. 

“You’re right, baby,” Bucky whispered. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Steve knew very well that he was more or less helpless to do anything. Bucky held his wrists, Thor held his body. Between the two of them, they had successfully come up with a plan to put him at their mercy. But damn him if Steve gave up so easily. He struggled against their grip and managed to rub the length of his erection along Bucky’s. Steve grinned as Bucky suppressed a moan with a scowl. Thor laughed again and kissed Steve’s neck again. 

“ _Mitt hjärta_ , we seem to have underestimated him,” Thor murmured proudly. Thor’s hands finally moved down to Steve’s pants to unbutton them. Steve sighed with relief as his cock was freed, heedless as his pants were discarded across the room. 

But even then, Bucky didn’t release his wrists. Thor wrapped a lubed hand around Steve’s cock and started pumping him leisurely. Steve let himself lean back against Thor, letting his lover’s strong body support him. Bucky meanwhile managed to wriggle awkwardly out of his pants from beneath them. Thor looked down at Bucky in what Steve could only assume to be hunger and adjusted his grip to take both their lengths in his hand. Bucky moaned and bucked up into the grip, rubbing his length along the sensitive underside of Steve’s cock. Steve bit his lip and whined. Bucky chuckled at that, his mischievous eyes dark with lust. His hands fell to grip Steve’s thighs, his right hand covering the cluster of scars on that side before they started their slow ascent. Steve shivered as he felt Bucky’s callused hands touch his sides, the fingers of his right hand tracing over the scars on Steve’s ribcage, then his collarbone. His entire body was surely flushed pink from their ministrations. 

“You’re so beautiful, Stevie,” Bucky murmured. Suddenly Thor’s hand left them as he got up before Steve could say anything else and Bucky grinned deviously as he flipped them over so he was looking down at Steve. “You have no idea how much I love you. How I’ve always loved you.”

“Bucky,” Steve moaned as his lover and best friend kissed him softly. Then he was turned around to face Thor who was grinning down at him lustfully. Steve stared at the erection tenting Thor’s pants and when Thor made no move to remove them, Steve reached up to unbuckle the belt and pop the pants open. Thor kicked them to the floor and Steve practically drooled as he laid his eyes on Thor’s long, thick member hanging proud and low between Thor’s thick legs. Meanwhile Bucky had spread Steve’s ass apart, exposing his hole and was teasing him there the way he had done with the rest of Steve’s body. Steve was almost tempted to kick him to tell him to get on with it. 

“Tell us what you want, _älskling_ ,” Thor murmured, tracing a finger over Steve’s lips. Steve opened his mouth and began to suck on Thor’s thumb, his tongue swirling and dancing around the callused digit. It was hot, for some reason. Thor claimed it was a power thing, but Steve never felt like he was giving up power when he was like this. He felt in control. So he sucked Thor’s thumb languidly for a moment, reveling in his lover’s sighs and moans and the way his blue eyes became almost black with desire and need before he came off. 

“I want to suck your cock,” he murmured lowly. Thor kissed him fiercely before he walked on his knees over to the nightstand and fished out a bottle of lube, which he tossed to Bucky. Steve smiled and wrapped his lips around the head. He savored the salty, bitter taste of Thor’s pre-cum on his tongue. Steve moaned. As much as he had enjoyed sucking Thor’s cock before, having his bare cock on his tongue, tasting Thor’s sweat and pre-cum and cum was intoxicating, honestly. Steve took him as far into his mouth as he could go before the head reached his throat and he pulled off, tracing the veins with his tongue as he did so. Thor swore in Swedish when Steve popped off his cock and grinned up at him cheekily. 

Bucky took that opportunity to lean down and lick one long stripe over Steve’s hole. Steve moaned and starting licking up along the length, trailing along the veins as Bucky licked and nipped and lapped at Steve’s hole. Bucky beard wasn’t as long as Thor’s or as neatly groomed and it burned his skin beautifully. Steve moaned as he lapped at Thor’s balls, hanging low between his legs and breathed in the enticing smell of Thor’s sweat and musk. He took each of them into his mouth and sucked gently on them before popping them out and returning his attention to Thor’s cock. Steve quickly found a rhythm that let him suck eagerly on Thor’s cock and push his ass back against Bucky’s face. Bucky hummed against his hole and Steve felt himself relax. He moaned around Thor’s cock when Bucky’s tongue entered him and started fucking his ass. Thor fisted his hand in Steve’s hair, pulling gently as Steve moved between them. 

“God, doll the sounds you make should be illegal,” Bucky said. 

“You should feel them, love,” Thor choked out. “The way he hums around a mouthful of cock.”

“He does give amazing head,” Bucky agreed. “He was born to suck cock.” 

“Do you mind?” Steve asked, popping off Thor’s cock. 

“What?” Bucky said with that insufferable shit-eating grin.

“I was really liking what you were doing between my legs, Buck,” Steve said, his voice low and husky. Thor huffed a laugh above him and Bucky apparently took that as a challenge as he returned to tongue fucking Steve’s ass with gusto. Steve hummed around the head of Thor’s cock, staring up at his lover, into his dark eyes, at his lips that breathed ragged breaths as he witnessed Steve’s swollen lips wrapped around Thor’s member. Steve tried to smirk around the thick length as best as he was able. 

Suddenly Bucky came off Steve’s ass again, and Steve was about to tell him off for it when he felt a lubed finger pressing against the tight ring of muscle, teasing for a moment before it breached him. It didn’t take Buck long before he found Steve’s prostate and began to tease it relentlessly. Then, as soon as he had started, Bucky stopped. Steve began to fuck himself back onto Bucky’s hand as he sucked Thor’s cock. His body was on fire in the best possible way. Steve’s throat was stretched around the thick head of Thor’s cock while his ass was being opened up to be fucked and God if he didn’t feel ready for it right fucking now. 

Thor pulled Steve gently but firmly off his cock. Steve looked up confusedly at him right before Thor pulled him into a kiss.   
“Sorry,” Thor murmured. “But you were sucking me so amazingly I feared that I would come too soon.”

“If you weren’t so hot I wouldn’t suck you so well,” Steve teased, kissing his lover sensuously. 

“I count it a blessing, then, that I can compel you be so enthusiastic, love,” Thor murmured. Bucky crawled up behind him and reinserted his finger into Steve’s ass. Steve adjusted to the new angle and rubbed himself along the length of Thor’s body.

“Doll, you’re so greedy,” Bucky whispered against the shell of his ear before he kissed the back of his neck. 

“He is insatiable,” Thor agreed.

“I don’t hear you guys complaining,” Steve countered with a grin. He turned around to kiss Bucky languidly and as he did so, Bucky inserted a second finger into Steve’s ass. Steve whined at the now familiar stretch and he relaxed easily at the touch. His body was screaming now to be fucked, taken, claimed by his lovers. It was a need and one that the bastards were denying him right now, drawing out the whole process to entertain themselves with torturing him. Thor claimed his mouth again and Steve occupied his hands by burying them in Thor’s golden strands. One of Thor’s hands slid down his back along his spine before stopping to grab his ass. Steve whined into Thor’s mouth again and Thor’s rumbling chuckled reverberated through his chest against Steve’s body. 

“ _Mitt hjärta_ , I have neglected you,” Thor murmured as he broke away from Steve. Bucky grinned as he came around Steve’s head to kiss Thor. Steve bit his painfully swollen lip as they kissed long and deep, night and day molding against each other seamlessly. Bucky’s fingers momentarily paused in their relentless teasing of Steve’s prostate as he and Thor devoured each other. Steve latched onto Thor’s neck and began to nip and suck and mark. Thor groaned into Bucky’s mouth, one hand in Bucky’s hair, the other running up along the length of Steve’s spine. When they finally broke away gasping for breath again, Bucky returned his attention to Steve’s ass and inserted a third finger into him. Steve groaned against Thor’s neck and fucked himself back against Bucky’s hand. 

“Fuck, Bucky,” Steve said brokenly. “I need you inside me yesterday.”

“Can’t do nothing about yesterday, doll,” Bucky said. “But trust me, I’m gonna make you see stars real soon.”

“Promises, promises,” Steve said. “Hurry up or I’m not gonna believe you.”

Bucky actually smacked his ass gently at that, but hard enough to elicit a yelp from Steve. Thor chuckled above him.

“Come, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor murmured. “I think we have tormented him long enough. And I wish to hear him sing.”

Bucky just hummed and pulled his fingers out of Steve’s ass. Steve whined at the feeling of emptiness there, but it lasted only a moment before he felt the thick head of Bucky’s cock pressing against his hole. Steve gasped as it breached him easily and Bucky pushed in in one smooth motion. Steve clung to Thor’s body, his blunt nails digging into Thor’s shoulder. He hung his head on Thor’s chest as he adjusted to Bucky’s size inside him. 

After a moment Steve signaled Bucky to start moving and Bucky withdrew from Steve’s ass until just the head was inside, then snapped his hips forward. Steve yelped as Bucky’s cock hit his prostate. Bucky assumed a quick pace, thrusting deeply into Steve’s tight heat Steve clenched around him and whined against Thor’s chest as he endured Bucky’s thrusts. Every thrust pushed Steve up against Thor’s torso. Thor was steady as he held Steve’s smaller body, his hands running up along Steve’s spine even as Bucky’s arms wrapped around Steve’s front, one hand teasing Steve’s nipples and the other jerking Steve’s cock in tandem with his thrusts. 

Steve raised his head and pressed his lips against Thor’s in a loose, desperate gesture. Thor hummed into Steve’s mouth and clutched him securely against his chest. Steve reached down to grasp Thor’s cock, still slick with Steve’s saliva. Steve jerked it haphazardly, struggling to find a rhythm as Bucky fucked into him.

“Jesus, Stevie, how are you so fucking tight?” Bucky ground out. Steve’s response was drowned out as Bucky delivered a particularly sharp thrust. Steve broke contact with Thor and leaned back to deliver a hot, desperate open mouthed kiss to Bucky’s lips. Bucky smirked against Steve’s lips. “You like that baby? You like how your ass feels when you’re getting fucked?”

“Fuck, Buck,” Steve moaned into his mouth. “Y-yes.”

“What do you want, doll?” Bucky asked. “Tell me.”

“Harder, gorgeous,” Steve said. “Give it to me. Please.”

Bucky growled in triumph and complied. He let go of Steve and let him fall forward into Thor’s arms and gripped his hips hard enough to bruise. Steve cried out as Bucky’s took him hard and fast. Thor petted his hair, then pulled his hair back so Steve was staring up into Thor’s face. 

“You’re so stunning like this, _älskling_ ,” Thor said. “Flushed and debauched and desperate for more. Will you ever be satisfied, I wonder?” 

Steve grinned cheekily up at him. “You wanna try your hand at it, big boy?”

Thor grinned mischievously and exchanged a look with Bucky. Mucky slowly stopped and pulled out of Steve. Steve winced at the emptiness as Bucky and Thor turned him around so that he was slumped against Bucky’s chest and Thor lubed up his cock and lined it up with Steve’s loose, wet hole and pushed in effortlessly. Steve cried out again. Thor was bigger, thicker than Bucky was and it took a bit of adjustment, but God it felt amazing. Thor leaned over Steve’s back and murmured something in Swedish into his ear. 

“Gods, Steve, you feel amazing. So hot and tight. So beautiful,” Thor said. Then his attention shifted to Bucky. “You stretched him so well for me, love.”

Bucky huffed and leaned over to kiss him. Thor began to rock into Steve’s ass as he kissed Bucky, but it was no gentler than Bucky had been. Thor fucked him slow and hard and deep and Steve mewled against Bucky’s chest, nuzzling his face amidst Bucky’s chest hair. Thor grunted into Steve’s ear as his hips rocked into Steve’s ass. Steve’s nails dug into Bucky’s lower back and bit Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky grunted at the sensation and held him.

“You like that, doll?” he asked. “He’s fucking good at this, isn’t he? You’re gonna feel it for days and think about us every time, aren’t you?”

“Think about you fucking me every day already,” Steve said with a grin. “This is just the icing on the cake. We should do this more often.”

“Not gonna argue with that, baby,” Bucky said. “I would fuck you every night if I could. Maybe Thor could fuck me while I fucked you. Or you could suck his cock. He could cum down your throat while I fill your ass.”

Thor groaned at that image and started fucking Steve even harder. Steve could feel his climax building in the pit of his stomach.

“Thor, babe, please I’m close,” Steve begged. Thor increased his pace and Bucky tightened his grip on Steve’s cock, stroking him faster. 

“Steve,” Thor groaned. He said something in Swedish. “Where do you want it?” 

“Inside,” Steve replied. “I want you… inside.”

Thor groaned and kept fucking into Steve’s ass. Steve bit back down onto Bucky’s shoulder as he bore the force of Thor’s thrusts and there was a point at which Steve thought that he actually saw stars dotting his vision as Thor’s cock hit his prostate with every thrust. A moment later he felt Thor’s cock pulse inside him and Thor’s hot come filling his ass and felt Thor grunting and groan through his orgasm. Thor slumped behind him and peppered Steve’s back with kisses as he fucked Steve through his orgasm. 

Steve mewled as Thor slipped out of him and fell back onto knees. Steve was about to wonder what would happen next when, just like before, he was being turned around and Bucky’s cock was once again pressed into his ass. It was easier than last time, since Thor’s cock had stretched him even more. This time however, Steve’s ass made wet squelching sounds as Bucky fucked him and it was, somehow, one of the hottest things Steve had ever heard or felt. 

“Fuck this is hot,” Bucky hissed. “Your ass is so full of come, baby. Fuck, God, fuck!”

Thor had wrapped his hand around Steve’s cock again and was jerking it furiously. Steve’s lips crashed messily with Thor’s and he moaned wantonly into his mouth, wordlessly begging for release, for satisfaction. When it finally came, Steve shot his load onto Thor’s leg and onto the bedding beneath them with a cry, clenching around Bucky’s cock. Steve thought he might pass out from the pleasure he felt, but he simply collapsed, boneless against Thor’s body before Bucky groaned through his climax. Steve sighed in contentment as he felt Bucky’s release inside him, Bucky’s come mixing with Thor’s. 

Bucky panted when he was done, resting his head against the back of Steve’s. Bucky kissed the back of his neck gently and Steve sighed, a smile that was almost certainly from the endorphin high completely taking over his face. Steve collapsed onto the bed as soon as Bucky slid out of him. His boyfriends laid down on either side of him. Thor stroked his hair and Bucky went and fetched a damp cloth from the bathroom and cleaned them up before he also collapsed on the bed again. 

“That was… incredible,” Steve said. He chuckled and rolled over to throw his arms around Thor. “Thanks. Both of you, just… damn.”

“It was definitely better than my last threesome,” Bucky said. Steve screwed his eyes shut at that thought. Thor didn’t seem like he wanted to hear this either, but Bucky went on, heedless of their plight. “That was just so much work. Tony especially is so… demanding.”

“More demanding than our Steve?” Thor asked. “That is impressive.”

“I’ve never heard you complain before, babe,” Steve said, raising an eyebrow. The effect was ruined by his blissful, fucked out face.

“If you gave me reason to be unsatisfied, I would tell you, love,” Thor promised. Steve laid his head back down on Thor’s shoulder. Thor leaned in to kiss him lazily for a moment before leaning over Steve to do the same with Bucky. When they were next all relaxing on the bed, Steve sighed. 

“We should take a shower,” Thor said. “I am starting to feel gross.”

Steve groaned. “That means getting up, though.”

“Worry not, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied. “I shall carry you.”

“I guess that works.”

“Are we having round 2 in the shower?” Bucky asked. Steve would groan, but his cock twitched in interest. He chalked it up to the quick refractory period for teenagers, not that he was complaining. Thor’s cock twitched as well, to Steve’s amusement. 

“I do not see why not,” Thor said lowly. 

“My ass needs a break, much as I hate to admit it,” Steve said. 

“Good thing mine’s ready to go,” Bucky replied. 

“What are we waiting for then?” Thor asked, scooping Steve up into his arms. Steve chuckled. This was going to be a good weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	58. The Chariot (Victory, Willpower)

“I think it’s time that we talked about the elephant in the room,” Bucky said while they were drying off. 

“Which elephant would that be?” Thor asked. Thor was currently squeezing the moisture out of his hair over the sink. A necessary part of having long hair that Bucky did not seem to understand yet. The amount of time his family spent on their hair must seem comical to everyone else, but to Thor it just meant that when someone said that they took a long time to get ready because they were fixing their hair, he was inclined to believe them. 

“Prom,” Bucky said simply. Thor stared at Bucky’s reflection in the mirror. 

“Oh. Yes, that.”

“I’ve actually been thinking about this, too,” Steve said. 

“Well at least someone is on top of things here,” Bucky replied. “Figures it would be you, Stevie.”

“I know, right?” Steve said. “Usually Thor’s on top.”

Thor sighed and grinned fondly at Steve through the mirror. “I have yet to hear any complaints about my… performance so far.”

“I have one,” Bucky said. “You need to spend more time on top.”

Thor actually turned around to look Bucky in the eyes as he grinned. “That can be arranged, mitt hjärta,” he purred. “But we are having a serious conversation right now.”

“Buck, we just had sex in the bedroom,” Steve laughed. “And in the shower! Are you ready to go again already?” 

“He asks as if he doesn’t have the world’s shortest refractory period,” Bucky said. Bucky wound up his damp towel and snapped it on Steve’s thigh, making their diminutive boyfriend yelp. Thor chuckled at them. It was true, though. Steve’s refractory period seemed almost nonexistent sometimes. Thor was grateful that he was young enough to be able to keep up… most of the time. 

“Anyway,” Steve said evenly. “Prom. I was thinking…”

Thor and Bucky both turned to regard him, their banter dying on their tongues as the conversation shifted. Steve looked a little nervous, whatever he was about to say. Thor could not tell whether it was due to his anxiety or whether the question was that weighty. It could be both, of course.

“Thinking that maybe we could… all go together,” he finished. “The three of us.”

Thor smiled at the thought. 

“But… I mean, only if that’s what you guys want,” Steve amended. “If you don’t want to… be public about… what we have.”

Thor let go of his hair and walked over to Steve. He had gotten most of the excess water out of it, anyway. He walked over to Steve and took his hand. Thor brought it lips, brushing them softly across Steve’s fingers, the ghost of a promise. 

“Nothing would so fill my heart with joy, my love,” Thor said. “I will happily walk into prom and shock our peers with me on one arm and the beautiful Bucky on your other. So long as he agrees.”

They looked at Bucky who was standing awkwardly off to the side. As big as the bathroom was, it was clearly not made for three people in mind, especially when two of them were as big as Thor and Bucky. Bucky grinned sheepishly.

“So it’s all up to me again?” Bucky asked. 

“You’re part of this relationship, too,” Steve said. “We can’t very well do anything together unless we’re all on board.”

Bucky looked like he was considering for a moment. Thor tried not to seem anxious, but it was a challenge. He had meant what he said, but then again, Bucky had just come out to his family and it had ended poorly. Coming out as poly so soon after might be too much too soon or something. 

“We will, of course, not judge you no matter what your answer is, love,” Thor said. “We want you to be happy and feel safe more than we want to dance with you an entire eve.”

It was apparently the right thing to say, because Bucky’s shoulders relaxed just a bit. Bucky took the two steps over to them and took Steve’s other hand and Thor’s as well. He smiled down at Steve with fondness and affection in his eyes. 

“How do you stand being brave all the time, Stevie?” Bucky asked. Steve laughed loudly at that. “I’m serious! It’s exhausting!”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know,” Steve replied. “I have no idea, I just am, I guess, and honestly I’m fucking terrified most of the time.”

“That’s… more comforting than you would imagine,” Bucky admitted. 

“Whatever, Buck,” Steve chuckled. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. We can find something else to do.”

“What? So whether we all go or none of us? That hardly seems fair to you two,” Bucky said. “Besides, who said I don’t want to go? Whatever people say can’t possibly be worse than my parents, and I hardly know most of the people who will be at prom.”

“So… we are going, then?” Thor asked, his mouth curving up into a grin. “All of us?”

“Hell yeah, sweetheart,” Bucky purred. He wrapped his arms around Thor and pushed him back against the counter. Thor kissed him. “We’ll dance all night, you, me, and Stevie.”

“Steve cannot dance, though,” Thor whispered. 

“We’ll have to teach him, then, won’t we?”

Thor hummed at the thought. Steve had a small smile on his face, obviously pleased with himself. Thor could not blame him. It was an accomplishment to be sure. Their first dance had been alone on a rooftop because Steve was uncomfortable with the idea of going to the Homecoming dance. To see him so confident and excited for something that was once a challenge for him filled Thor’s heart with pride. 

“Now,” Bucky said, his hands running up Thor’s torso. “Wasn’t there something else we were going to do before we… adjourn?”

Thor grinned as he felt his cock twitch with interest. It was going to be a good, long, weekend.

* * *

Steve walked gingerly down the stairs around the time when dinner was ready. 3 rounds of sex was apparently great for developing an appetite. Thor was annoyingly light on his feet, while Steve and Bucky took their sweet time going down the stairs. By the time they were finally at the bottom of the stairs, Odin had appeared in the foyer. 

“Steve Rogers,” he said. Steve squared his shoulders and met Odin’s gaze. “May I speak with you?”

 _This is new. He’s being polite_ , Steve thought. _What the hell?_ He nodded. 

“Go on, I’ll catch up,” Steve told Bucky. 

“You sure?” Bucky asked.

“I’ll be fine, trust me.”

Bucky didn’t look convinced but he did as Steve asked, so that was enough. Steve turned his attention back to Thor’s father, the single thing that had stood in the way of his relationship with Thor from the day he found out. Steve refused to be afraid. There was nothing this man was capable of doing that could spoil what Steve had with Thor and Bucky.

“I… would like to offer my apologies,” Odin said.

What. Steve blinked. “You… what now?”

“I am sorry,” Odin said. “For… the way I treated you. You are worthy and you deserved better than the callus heart of a foolish old cynic.”

“Oh. Well, thank you. That’s good to hear.”

“And… I would like to offer you my blessing for your relationship with my son,” Odin continued. “Both you and for Bucky.”

“Well then, they should probably be here for this,” Steve replied. He turned on his heel and walked into the dining room where Thor and Loki were bickering good-naturedly about something while Tony and Bucky caught up with each other. Frigga was reading the newspaper, looking as serene as ever wearing simple but elegant black reading glasses. 

“Thor, Bucky,” Odin said. “Come with us please.”

All four of the teenagers around table looked mildly alarmed and looked between Steve and Odin. Steve just nodded. Frigga looked up and folded her newspaper, looking for all the world like she had won something. 

“It’s okay.”

“Very well, then,” Thor said cautiously as he got up. Bucky sighed and got up as well, wincing a little bit. That earned a lewd cheer from Tony, which in turn was met with Frigga smacking him with her newspaper. Steve rolled his eyes and walked out to the living room and sat down on the edge of the couch. Thor and Bucky sat on either side. 

“What is this about, love?” Thor asked. Steve smiled.

“Just listen,” Steve said. Odin was standing on the other side of the coffee table. He looked… bashful and awkward. More so than he had when he approached Steve just a few minutes ago. Steve got the feeling that this admitting you were wrong thing was difficult for him. But Steve wasn’t about to make it any easier for him.

“I… apologize to you, son,” Odin said. Thor seemed stunned. He asked Odin something in Swedish. “Yes, I am serious, Thor.”

Thor and Bucky were stunned silent. 

“And I would… like to extend my blessings for your relationship,” Odin continued. “Which I should have done months ago.”

“Thank you for your offer,” Steve said. “But that won’t be necessary.”

“What?!” Bucky and Thor demanded.

“We made a deal at Yule, remember?” Steve asked. “I would hate for you to break your word just because you’ve had a change of heart.”

“So?” Bucky demanded.

“So making an oath during Yule is a big deal,” Steve said. 

“So? Just let the man do what he wants,” Bucky said. “God knows it took him long enough to come around. What made you change your mind, anyway?”

Odin had the grace to look embarrassed. “It was about a week ago,” he replied. “When he came downstairs looking for you.”

Bucky looked confused. Steve didn’t understand either. He had hardly been conscious at the time and only knew that Bucky wasn’t in bed and he wasn’t in the bathroom. Then he remembered that he, Bucky, and Thor had woken up later on the couch in the living room and that Steve had been…. Steve blushed at the thought. 

“You saw his scars,” Thor said. Odin nodded. 

“And,” Odin continued. “There was the… loyalty he showed when Bucky was coming out. Even after, he never wavered in his devotion. To either of you. Nor has he ever let himself be cowed by anything, especially myself.”

Steve shrugged. “Eh, you weren’t that intimidating,” he said. “I’ve faced worse.”

Odin studied him for a moment before he smiled. Then he laughed, loud and booming with his whole body. Thor and Bucky were taken aback for a moment at the sight. 

“Yes, you will do nicely, son,” Odin said. “You are nearly as stubborn as I am. Very well. I will abide by the agreement we made.”

“That’s nice,” Bucky said. “But any chance I can get a blessing for this whole thing before we head to Sweden in the summer?”

Odin raised an eyebrow. “What’s this about coming to Sweden?”

Bucky grinned. “Didn’t you hear? Your wife invited Steve and I to come along!”

Odin closed his eye and left the room, muttering something about gods and laughing at him. Steve and Thor, meanwhile, turned their attention to Bucky. 

“So you mean to say that you will come?” Thor asked, a big excited smile taking over his face. Bucky was smiling a bit bashfully, but he nodded.

“Yeah, I want to give this… give us a chance,” he said. “Can’t do that if you’re in Sweden.”

Steve beamed with excitement as Thor kissed both of them. “No we cannot.”

* * *

Steve was so distracted during dinner he almost forgot to eat. He was too excited. First they decided that they were all going to prom together (at which point, Steve had decided the day couldn’t get much better), then Bucky agreed to go to Sweden, which meant that Steve was going to Europe next year. Had it not been for Frigga, Steve would probably have forgotten that food was the reason they were all in the dining room in the first place. Thor seemed to have a permanent smile on his face as well while Bucky had never been distracted from eating food in his life and wasn’t about to start now. 

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. “What are we wearing to prom?”

Frigga paused and looked at him. “What do you mean?” she asked. “Surely you will wear a tuxedo like everyone else.”

“I don’t own a tux,” Steve said. “I have a suit, but it’s store bought and not as nice as Thor’s.”

“I had a tux,” Bucky said. “But… honestly prom was the last thing on my mind when I was packing my bags, so it’s probably still at the apartment if… if they haven’t thrown it out.”

“Why would your parents throw out a perfectly good tuxedo?” Loki asked.

“Well, they kicked me out,” Bucky said. “Told me to pack my bags. Not really… welcome back home right now and honestly I’m not sure I want to go back.”

That killed the mood. The entire table was stunned silent, except for Tony who, in an uncharacteristic show of charity, nodded sympathetically. 

“I’m sorry for bringing it up,” Loki said. “Do you want us to sue them?”

“Sue them?” Bucky asked. “For what? I’m not a minor anymore.”

“You were their dependent, though,” Frigga said. “I’m not saying we would, but if you wanted to, we could certainly point you towards people who could help make that happen.”

Bucky looked around the table a bit shocked. “Thanks, but honestly, I’m just looking to forget that this even happened,” he said. “I just want to get on with my life and if they want to come back, they can let me know.”

“A sensible attitude,” Odin said. “But should you need anything, you will certainly have our support.”

“Anyway, we’ve strayed from the topic,” Frigga said. “When is prom?”

“Two weeks?” Steve said, looking to Thor for confirmation. Thor nodded. Frigga raised a hand to massage her temple.

“You boys sure do enjoy giving us a challenge, don’t you?” she sighed. “Very well. Next week, we will make appointments to get Bucky and Steve measured and suits tailored and that should give us plenty of time to get the suits ready. And who knows, perhaps there will be time to get you three reservations at a decent restaurant for your big night out.”

“I think we’ll be fine, ma’am,” Steve said sheepishly. Frigga glared icy daggers at him. 

“Steve, you will only have prom once,” she said. “You may as well do it right and enjoy yourselves. If there was ever a time for you to indulge yourselves, the biggest dance of the year is surely it.”

Steve hesitated. This wasn’t like accepting a painting or something. This was… a tux. A fancy, tailored tux. That was a huge deal. Steve glanced at Bucky and saw a similar conflict in his eyes. 

“We can’t ask you to do that for us,” Bucky said hesitantly. “We’ll be fine just renting a couple tuxes, really.”

“You underestimate the difference between wearing a tailored suit and one that you are simply renting or you have bought from a store,” Odin said. “Steve, you have seen Thor in a tailored suit, what did you think?”

“What did I think of your son in a suit?” Steve asked. He blushed. “Well… yeah, he looked amazing.”

“You see?” Frigga said. “A good suit is invaluable and not just because it makes you look good. People will take notice.”

“Well, I guess we’ll accept your offer, then,” Steve said. “At least, I will, anyway.”

“If Steve’s fine with it, I guess I’m fine with it, too,” Bucky added. 

“Excellent,” Frigga said. “We’ll make an appointment with our tailor on Monday and get your suits sorted out.”

“If you say so,” Steve said. 

“Don’t worry, dear,” she replied with a smile. “Just you wait when Thor and Bucky see you wearing your tuxedo. It’ll all be worth it then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	59. 10 of Coins (Family, Establishment, Stability)

Planning for prom was apparently a much more time intensive process than Thor thought. Steve and Bucky spent most of the afternoon getting fitted for their tuxedos. His body hummed with excitement at the thought of seeing them in suits. Steve had been attractive enough in a suit that wasn’t made for his body. Thor could not wait to see what he would look like in one that hugged his body in all the right places, that accentuated his angles and long, graceful limbs. And for Bucky, one that hugged his shoulders, his arms, and his ass. 

Focus, he thought. History was usually the class he had the least amount of trouble in and this was the European history class. But it was late April and they had only recently had the Advanced Placement test. Thor had taken the class mostly for the easy A, but he was also fascinated by the subject. It was one of the reasons he had decided to travel across Europe during his year between high school and college. He wanted to go to the source, see the places where history had unfolded. Not just in Europe, but North America, Asia, South America, Africa, the Middle East. Thor wanted to travel the world 

He marked down the correct answers with relative ease. History was always easier for him to keep track of than other subjects. Physics and Calculus were not exactly beyond his depth, but they took more effort to remember and keep in mind. 

Thor was one of the first people to finish the test, as usual and he leaned back in his chair and took out the book Steve had gotten him some months back for Valentine’s Day. Steve smiled as he saw the book out of the corner of his eye. Thor was genuinely enjoying the book. This was actually the second time he had read it, the first being immediately after he got it. It was a great story, full of powerful characters struggling against the gods of their world as the humans learned that the nature of such beings were not what they thought they were. That every major character in the story was a woman in a world where humans hadn’t even discovered the wheel yet was a delightful change of pace. 

Thor let the world around him fade away as he became engrossed in the story again. It wasn’t until the bell rang that he realized that he had truly lost track of time and he hurried to mark his place and put the book back in his bag. _One more class_ , Thor thought with relief. _Four more weeks until graduation._

And then he would return to Sweden as he had been looking forward to for weeks. It would be good to see his friends again, Fandral, Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg. There truly were not enough pagans in the world and truthfully, part of Thor’s eagerness to return was to be around their little community again. Of course there was the opportunity to show off his rugby skills to his boyfriends and Thor was also eager to show _them_ off, to take them around his home country and show them everything there was to see. 

When Bucky had unexpectedly announced that he had agreed to go with them, Thor had been ecstatic. Thor had been ready to stay in the United States if that was what it took to make their relationship work, but it would not have been his preferred solution. 

Thor hardly paid attention in physics. He and Steve were much further along in the lab than the rest of the class and finished early. There was nothing to do, really, except to sit and talk quietly.

“Your dad pulled a 180,” Steve said with a chuckle. “Seriously, you would think that I could get a lifetime supply of whatever I wanted from the way he’s treating me. Never thought he would feel this guilty.”

Thor chuckled at that as well. “Never in my life have I seen father make such a thorough apology,” he said. “Nor do I ever expect to witness such an event again. Surely, what you accomplished was a once in a lifetime phenomenon.”

They chuckled together until Ms. Foster cleared her throat and they quieted so as not to disturb the other lab partners. Thor turned his head to another pair of students who were hopelessly lost concerning the lab. They had gone in the complete wrong direction and there was no hope of them finishing it correctly. He felt a surge of pity for them.

“Prom is next week,” Steve murmured. Thor turned to him and smiled. 

“Are you nervous, _älskling_?” he asked. 

“A little bit,” Steve admitted. “But… also excited, you know? I’m not as… afraid of being in the middle of a dance as I used to be.”

“I am so proud of you, love,” Thor said. Steve blushed as he smiled.

“Be proud of me when we actually go into the dance,” Steve replied. 

“I will, of course, be most proud when we walk into the dance, I on one arm and Bucky on the other,” Thor said. “However, I cannot deny that I am proud now. You have come so far.”

Steve’s blush turned into that beautiful creeping blush, spreading from his face down to his neck. Thor knew that if he looked, he would see Steve’s arms turning a slight pink to reflect the flush the upper part of his body was now covered in. His smile grew even wider as Steve scowled at him in disapproval. 

“You’re doing this to me on purpose,” Steve accused.

“Yes, I am praising your mighty accomplishments on purpose,” Thor agreed.

“All I’m doing is walking into a dance,” Steve said. “There’s nothing special about that.”

“But for you it is like facing down a giant!”

“Well, it helps that you and Bucky will be there with me.”

“And this does not diminish the significance of what it means for you,” Thor said. “You think heroes are capable of doing anything without a team to support them?”

“I’m not a hero,” Steve said.

“You are,” Thor insisted. Thor took one of Steve’s hands and brought it to his lips. “You are my hero.”

“Your little hero,” Steve said, with a smile. 

“Always,” Thor said. He was sorely tempted to kiss Steve, but school was still in session and those tiresome rules about public displays of affection were still in place. Ms. Foster might look the other way for stuff like hand kissing, but actual kissing she would have to call them out on. _This country is ridiculously repressed_ , Thor thought. 

Finally, the bell rang and they were free from the school and its restrictive rules. Thor immediately swooped in to kiss Steve. Steve smiled against him. When they were done, Thor smiled and pressed their foreheads together before getting up. They walked hand in hand to the front of the building, where Steve would leave for his final appointment with his counselor. 

“Are you ready for your last session with Dr. Erskine?” Thor asked.

“I don’t know,” Steve said. “It feels weird, you know? I mean, I know that it’s inevitable and everything, but I’ve still been seeing him for the last… year and a half? 2 years? I’ve worked with him for a long time.”

“It sounds like he was an excellent therapist,” Thor said. 

“Yeah, he is,” Steve said. “Part of me thinks that if we had known each other outside of counseling that we would have been friends.”

“Can you not be friends with him now?” Thor asked. Steve shook his head. 

“No, it’s unethical,” Steve said. “Gotta wait like 5 years or something before a personal relationship is possible. I looked it up.”

“I am sorry, then,” Thor said. “I know that you are fond of him.”

“It’s part of the whole counselor thing, really,” Steve replied. “But thanks.” 

“We are here for you if you wish to talk about it after.”

Steve smiled as they got to the front of the building and stood up on his tiptoes to kiss Thor. 

“Thanks, babe. I’ll see you later.”

* * *

The last session with Dr. Erskine was… not what Steve had come to expect from the guy. It was mostly reflecting on the progress Steve had made in the 2ish years that Steve had been seeing him and Dr. Erskine telling Steve about what he had observed in that time. It was a very affirming session all around, and it did feel like a farewell. There was a part of Steve that hoped that in 5 years’ time they could be friends, but there was also the rational part of his brain that knew that that wasn’t a realistic expectation. 

Dr. Erskine had Steve write down the things that he was still afraid of, the things that still caused him anxiety, as well as the things that helped him deal with it. It was different, since Steve was more used to drawing rather than writing. He could never seem to find the right words. But strangely enough, it helped. 

“So what do I do with this list?” he asked when he was done.

“That is up to you,” Dr. Erskine replied. “Burn it, fold it up and keep it in your pocket, origami, or you can find something else to do with it.”

Steve smiled. “I’m gonna miss these sessions, Dr. Erskine.”

The other man smiled gently. “No matter what happens, Steve, you must promise me something,” he said. “That you will stay who you are. Not someone with a perfect mind, but a good man.”

Steve smiled. “To the little guys,” he said. “Thanks for everything.”

“Everything you have done has been your own doing, Steve,” Dr. Erskine said. “Never forget that.”

* * *

Steve walked into the apartment after the session was done. He was suddenly struck by how different it all seemed. There was art from Frigga hanging up on the walls. Some of it was his as well, stuff that he had drawn and decided to frame or something. It wasn’t like someone had come in and changed everything, but the apartment seemed… brighter. More like a home and less like a living space. There were still bills and such covering the table, but somewhere along the line everything had changed.

Steve’s mom walked past him and headed to the kitchen where Mr. Baker was cooking something on the stove. It smelled delicious, whatever it was. They kissed each other and settled into what seemed to be an easy rhythm. Mr. Baker looked over at him and smiled in greeting. Steve smiled back. He couldn’t remember the last time his mom looked so happy. 

_I’m glad he treats her well_ , he thought. _She deserves it._

He set down his bag at the door and took out his sketchbook. Steve decided to forego working on homework just yet and instead decompress. He was touching up the sketch of Bucky and Thor sleeping that he had started a couple weeks ago. It was a simple black and white sketch of a picture Steve had taken as a reference. 

_When did I get so lucky?_ he wondered. _My best friend and my first love are both my boyfriends._

Steve wondered if what he was witnessing between Bucky and Thor was similar to what happened between Thor and himself months ago. He saw the looks of tenderness and affection between them. They were nearly identical to the looks both of them gave Steve that made his stomach flip and his knees weak. He loved them. That they both loved him in return, that they could come to love each other was more than he had ever expected to happen in life. 

He paused to look between his picture and the reference. He needed to adjust the shading on Bucky’s face a bit. He was trying to capture how peaceful they looked together. Thor had one hand in Bucky’s hair with his other arm wrapped around Bucky’s waist. Thor was surprisingly cuddly for such a big man. Surprisingly comfortable, too. 

Steve’s reverie was broken by someone clearing his throat. Steve looked up and saw Mr. Baker standing over him looking uncharacteristically nervous about something.

“Mr. Baker,” Steve greeted. “Is dinner ready? Or is the kitchen on fire?”

“Dinner will be but a moment, sir,” Mr. Baker replied. 

“Oh. Then what can I do for you?” 

Mr. Baker sat down in a chair next to Steve and folded his hands. He was silent for a moment. Steve felt himself starting to get nervous about where this was going. 

“As you know, sir,” Mr. Baker began. “I have been seeing your mother for… a number of months.”

“Yeah…” Steve said.

“And… in that time I have come to feel… very fond of her,” he continued. 

“You love her,” Steve said. Mr. Baker chuckled and nodded. 

“I was wondering…if I were to… declare that love,” Mr. Baker said. “Would you approve?”

“What do you mean, would I approve?” Steve asked. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Mr. Baker sighed and reached into a coat pocket. Steve gasped when the man produced a simple black box.

“Is that what I think it is?” Steve asked quietly. Mr. Baker nodded. 

“I… would like your permission,” he said. 

“Why? She’s my mom, not my property,” Steve said. 

“Because she is your mother,” Mr. Baker said simply. “And you are the only family she has.”

“Mr. Baker, you make her happy,” Steve answered. “That’s really all I care about. You can absolutely ask her.”

Mr. Baker sighed in relief. “Thank you, sir.”

Steve chuckled at seeing the normally unflappable man so distressed. “If she says yes, do I still need to call you Mr. Baker?”

Mr. Baker actually chuckled at that. “You could call me Bertie if you wished.”

“I think I would like that,” Steve said. “Bertie. And you can call me Steve, if you want.”

Bertie smiled at that and Steve got up to hug him. Bertie returned it after a moment of dignified shock. It was strange, having this older man there, hugging him. A man who might soon be Steve’s step-father. That would take some getting used to.

“I suppose you can call me that even if she says no,” Bertie mumbled. 

“You too. She won’t,” Steve said. “I have a good feeling about this.”

“Have you been spending time with Madam Frigga?” Bertie chuckled. “Still, I thank you for your confidence.”

“Just so you know,” Steve said. “If you hurt her…”

“You’ll kill me?” 

“I’ll have a word with Frigga.”

“Point taken,” Bertie said with nervous chuckle. “Now, let’s eat, yes?”

Steve let go and headed to the table to clear it off (ie, move everything to the kitchen counter). Everything was coming together in life, at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	60. Prom Night part 1

Prom night. The big event of the year and the only school function Steve would ever attend was in just 5 hours. Bucky and Thor were surely getting ready. They had brought their suits to Thor’s house to make the meeting up part of the evening easier. 

And Steve was hiding in the bathroom trying to control his breathing. It wasn’t a panic attack. That was different and they had happened often enough in Steve’s life that he knew what they felt like better than anyone. No, this was just plain old, regular, boring anxiety. Steve was nearly completely naked, though they needed to get ready soon. Their reservation at the restaurant was for 6:00, which would give them about an hour to eat and enjoy themselves before they went to prom, which started at 8:00. 

Yet Steve was hiding. Thor walked in after a moment and sat down on the floor opposite Steve. They didn’t say anything to each other for a few minutes. 

“We do not have to go, you know,” Thor murmured. “We can just get dinner and spend the evening doing something else.”

“No. No, I want to do this,” Steve said. “I’m just… I’m afraid. Actually doing this is harder than I thought it would be.”

“How so?” 

“I just… it’s weird, you know?” Steve asked. Bucky came in then and sat down next to Steve. “I’ve never done anything like this before. I avoided crowds of people and everything.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Bucky said. “Tony and Loki are coming with us.”

“As well as Wanda and Pietro,” Thor added. “We will hardly be alone, even if Bucky and I are the ones dancing at the moment.”

“They’re not coming with us to the restaurant, are they?” Steve asked.

“No, they have their own arrangements,” Thor confirmed. “Fortunately for us. I was not looking forward to having a romantic double date tonight.”

“So you never want to go on a double date with Loki and Tony?” Bucky asked with a grin.

“I did not say that,” Thor replied. “I merely said that I do not want to do it tonight. I love my brother, but I wish for a night just to the three of us.”

“After I’m done freaking out about it, anyway,” Steve said. 

“Can it be soon?” Thor asked, smiling. He nudged Steve’s body with a foot. “I am most eager to see you in your new suit.”

“More excited to see me out of it a few hours later, too, I bet,” Steve teased. Thor smiled and shrugged. 

“That goes without saying, does it not?”

Steve chuckled in spite of himself. 

“And we can always leave if you don’t to stay,” Bucky added. “No one said that we have to stay the whole time.”

“Thanks,” Steve said. He took Bucky’s hand and laced their fingers together. “But I think I’ll be fine. I feel better now.”

“I’m glad, doll,” Bucky said. He leaned in to kiss Steve’s cheek. “You wanna finish getting ready?”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, guess I better do that. Unless we’re all going to prom naked.”

“I would find that agreeable,” Thor said, leering at the two of them. 

“Perv,” Steve replied with a chuckle. 

“It is not my fault that I have the most beautiful men as my lovers,” Thor replied. 

“Really? That’s not the way I remember that conversation going,” Steve said. “If I remember correctly, it was your idea to make Bucky part of this relationship.”

“Yeah, so it kinda is your fault, sweetheart,” Bucky added. 

“Both of you said yes,” Thor pointed out. 

“Helps that you’re hot, babe,” Steve said. 

“What does that make me?” Bucky demanded playfully.

“You’re gorgeous, gorgeous,” Steve said. Bucky pecked him on the lips. 

“You’re sweet, doll,” Bucky said. He groaned as he got up. “But now we really need to get ready. We have a couple hours to get ready and get to the restaurant. You finish getting dolled up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve said as he got up as well. “If you guys could leave I could actually get ready.”

“Fine, fine,” Bucky said. He did, however, swat Steve on the ass before he left. Thor contented himself with kissing him on the cheek. Steve smiled to himself. He was lucky. So very, very lucky.

* * *

Steve was in the bathroom outside Thor’s bedroom struggling with the bowtie to go with his tux. He swore Thor and Loki made this look easy. They had no business being able to do it as effortlessly as they did. Steve was tempted to burn the blasted thing and go to prom with his outfit incomplete but apparently people didn’t wear ordinary ties with a tuxedo because it didn’t look right or something. He was about to throw the damn thing on the floor before someone cleared their throat in the doorway. Steve turned to see Bertie standing there with a look of faint amusement on his face. Steve sighed and let his hands drop to his side. Bertie was there instantly, tying the damned fabric expertly until it was neatly tied against Steve’s white button down shirt. Steve turned to look at himself in the mirror. The tuxedo fit him like a glove, yet he had his full range of movement. It didn’t encumber him in any way.

“Thanks Bertie,” he said. Bertie coughed slightly, hiding the faint flush on his cheeks at being called by his first name. It still took some getting used to. Steve knew nothing about Bertie’s plan to propose beyond the fact that he was planning on it. If the man was nervous about doing so, he hid it well. If Steve’s mom knew anything about it, she hid it even better. Steve was just grateful that Bertie hadn’t asked him to be part of a big choreographed proposal thing that people did on the internet. That sounded like a special kind of hell for him. 

“No trouble at all… Steve,” Bertie replied. He was adjusting to calling Steve by his first name, too. It was always, “sir” before. “Are you ready for your evening with your paramours?” 

“Sounds fancy when you say it like that,” Steve said with a nervous chuckle. “But I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Very good. Now get going, they’re waiting for you.”

Steve took a deep breath before running down the stairs. Sure enough, Thor and Bucky were waiting for him in the living room, sizing each other up. The sight took Steve’s breath away. He had seen Thor in his fancy suit before. This was not it. This was a tuxedo to match Steve and Bucky’s and if it were at all possible for Thor to look more hot than he did in his suit, he had done it. Thor filled out the tuxedo nicely, accentuating his broad shoulders and strong arms. Bucky’s tux was similar, but the way it hugged his body made it obvious that Bucky’s body was naturally slimmer than Thor’s. Part of that may have been the disparity in size between Bucky’s arms (something Bucky was working on fixing). Steve realized that he was the odd one out, with his white tuxedo and white pants, he contrasted with his dates beautifully. The only black on his outfit was the bowtie, as Frigga had insisted on white dress shoes to go with the tux. He had a sneaky suspicion that Frigga had something to do with this contrast.

Thor turned to him and his eyes darkened instantly. Thor’s eyes roamed openly over Steve’s body, taking it all in. Steve felt his stomach clench at the sight. Bucky turned as well and whistled appreciatively at the sight. 

“Damn, Stevie,” Bucky said. “You clean up nice.”

“Speak for yourself, gorgeous,” Steve said, walking up to them. He stood on his tiptoes to kiss Bucky before Thor pulled Steve gently towards him and leaned down to kiss him as well. Steve felt his nerves subside just a little bit. 

“You do look beautiful tonight,” Thor said. Steve blushed and he preened at the praise they lavished on him and the dark, wanting looks in their eyes. 

“Just as long as we aren’t going to an Italian place tonight,” Steve said. “No offense to your aunts, Bucky, but I’d hate to ruin this getup before we have a chance to go to the dance.”

“Please, Steve,” Frigga said as she and Steve’s mom walked up to them. “What do you take me for? A incompetent buffoon?” 

“Never,” Steve swore.

“Good,” she replied. “It wouldn’t do for you to develop delusions, now would it?”

The three of them smiled dutifully for the pictures Sarah and Frigga were taking. Steve tried to occupy himself with admiring his boyfriends. There was clearly something to what Frigga said about having a well-tailored suit. Both of them looked like sex on legs and they each moved with an easy grace. Bucky in particular looked… powerful. Beautiful and deadly, like he could slow dance one moment and pummel someone the next without blinking. Thor looked powerful too, but it was more presence than anything else. He seemed to fill the space, stepping into the limelight like there was no other place he would possibly be. Steve wondered what he looked like to them. 

After what may have been an eternity, their moms and Bucky’s aunts stopped and Frigga turned to Loki and Tony, who had also appeared dressed and ready. Sophia and Tonya seemed to take the role as Bucky’s caretakers seriously. They were looking into what it would take to officially put him down as a dependent in their tax returns and everything. And now, they were taking an evening off from their restaurant to help him get ready for his prom date. Bucky grumbled about them being worse than his parents, but Steve suspected, from the smile on his face and the faint blush, that he was pleased. 

“Shall we get going, sirs?” Bertie asked. “We wouldn’t want to be late for your reservation, now would we?”

Steve grinned up his boyfriends. They grinned at each other before looking down at Steve. 

“Yeah, let’s go.”

* * *

If ever there was an occasion to go to a high end establishment, Thor supposed that the night of prom was it. He had gone last year, though he hadn’t had a date. He went with some friends from the football team and they had had a good time before ditching to do normal rambunctious teenage stuff (like smoke weed and get drunk on cheap alcohol). Thor wondered if it would have been different if he had met Steve last year, if they would have been friends or if Steve would have been interested in him. Regardless, they were together now, and Bucky was with them as well. Thor looked between them as they sat down at their table. Two beautiful lovers. Who could ask for more?

“Something on your mind, babe?” Steve asked with a small smile. 

“It is nothing,” Thor replied. “I am merely thankful. For both of you.”

Steve blushed as his smile grew, causing Bucky to chuckle at him, though Bucky’s face was also a bit pink. Thor reached over to entwine his fingers with Bucky’s. Bucky’s eyes fell to the table as he also smiled a bit bashfully. He was beautiful. Smooth, pouty lips that begged to be kissed that sometimes Thor wondered how he and Steve ever managed to keep themselves from kissing Bucky. Long, powerful legs that moved with ease and grace and felt amazing wrapped around Thor’s body.

_Enough of that_ , Thor thought. _At least try to hold off until later._

Dinner went off without a hitch. Bucky talked about his new job working in the kitchen in his aunts’ restaurant, how Sophia was a taskmaster in the kitchen but also amazing at teaching Bucky how to cook with proper techniques. His boyfriends reminisced over past shenanigans that Thor would never have pictured Steve doing when they met back in August.

“You mean to tell me that the last time you went to church,” Thor said with a wide grin. “You were high as a kite and Bucky’s parents never even suspected?”

“Yeah, apparently staying up all night wasn’t an excuse to not go to church,” Bucky grumbled. “We made sure to shower real good and Steve took our clothes back to his place so my parents wouldn’t smell the weed on mine.”

“And your mother was only too happy to assist with the cover up?” Thor asked. Steve nodded.

“She’s a nurse, and she’s told me about her days as a rebellious youngster,” Steve said. “She just made me promise that weed was all I would ever do.”

“And suddenly there is an entire new avenue of possibilities for our time in Europe,” Thor mused. 

“You planning on getting us high, sweetheart?” Bucky asked with a grin.

“Unlike some people’s countries,” Thor replied. “Ours are not so… restrictive about something as benign as weed. More to the point, why am I just now hearing about this?” 

“We didn’t know you were into weed,” Steve said. “Besides, it’s not like we do it all the time. Once every blue moon, honestly.”

“We must change this,” Thor said. Steve looked like he was going to say something in response, but then the waiter arrived with their orders. “I cannot believe that I have been with you two for this long and never knew.”

“Sure babe, whatever you say,” Steve said. 

The food was delicious, of course. The three of them exchanged bits of each other’s food. Thor found that Bucky’s quail was the best, much to his disappointment. Still, Thor had absolutely no complaints regarding his steak, nor Steve of his lobster. Thor told Bucky about his friends in Sweden and some of the stories he had of them. He was pleased that Bucky was more excited than Steve had been to see the gallery of Thor’s scars and bruises from his rugby days. Steve rolled his eyes as Bucky flipped through the gallery, his eyes alight with wonder. At least someone here appreciates what sports have put me through, he thought. 

“You need to teach me how to play rugby when we get to Sweden,” Bucky said. Thor grinned from ear to ear even as Steve groaned.

“It would be my genuine pleasure to do so,” Thor replied. “Then our dear Steve can witness both of us on the field of battle.”

“Think you can take me, big guy?” Bucky asked, his mouth quirked in a suggestive smirk. Thor felt the corners of his mouth tug as he responded in kind. 

“I believe the question is,” Thor murmured. “Do you believe you can take me?”

Bucky huffed a laugh. “Been there, done that, sweetheart.”

“Do you guys mind?” Steve asked. “We’re in public.”

“Why? Feeling left out, doll?”

Steve chuckled and rolled his eyes. “I really don’t feel like getting all hot and bothered while we’re surrounded by people.”

“Well, you can just listen, then,” Bucky said. 

“As if imagining you two going at it isn’t the thing I fantasize about, like, all the time,” Steve said. Right before he turned bright red. Thor and Bucky both leaned over and grinned at him. 

“I believe I need to hear more about this fantasy of yours,” Thor purred. 

“Yeah Stevie, what’s this thing you’re imagining between us?” Bucky asked. Steve’s blush grew and Thor could just imagine it creeping over his smooth skin until every part of him was flushed and pink and alluring. It did nothing to help his growing arousal. 

“Later,” Steve said with a pointed look. “Promise.”

They finished their food and headed out to the car where Mr. Baker was waiting patiently for them. They piled into the back seat and Mr. Baker carefully maneuvered the car out until they were on their way to the dance. Thor looked down and saw Steve fidgeting with the sleeve of his tux. He looked divine like this. An angel of beauty and grace. And right now he looked nervous. Thor reached over and took his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“It will be all right, _älskling_ ,” Thor murmured. 

Steve sighed. “Yeah, I know.” 

Bucky looked over at them and reached over to take Steve’s other hand. “We got you, doll,” he said. “We’ll beat up anyone who looks at us funny. Or you, for that matter.”

Steve actually chuckled at that. “Just… try not to ruin your suits,” he said. “You guys look sexy like this.”

Thor smiled and kissed Steve’s temple. “I will make no promises.”

* * *

The photographer was a little surprised and a little confused when they explained that, no, they weren’t a group of guy friends just going to prom, that yes, they were all together. It took an unreasonably long time to get their photographer to realize that they were all each other’s dates. There was a strange look in her eyes as she took the picture, but Steve decided to let it go. He was just excited to see the picture of the three of them. 

They went through to the auditorium where Tony, Loki, Wanda, and Pietro were waiting for them. They smiled and cheered as Steve and his boyfriends approached, Bucky on one arm and Thor on the other (a ridiculous picture, but both of them had insisted on it, so Steve had agreed). Tony whistled a bit crudely at the sight and Steve was caught between blushing and rolling his eyes at his friend’s antics. Honestly, Tony was a big child sometimes. Well, most of the time. 

“Why do you have to show off your eye candy in front of everyone, huh Rogers?” Tony teased. “Just gotta let the world know that you have the second and third hottest guys on the planet as your boyfriends. Which is fine, go nuts. I’d do it, too. Good on ya.” 

“At least he acknowledges that you, Steve, are the hottest guy on the planet,” Thor said. That made their group of friends throw their heads back and laugh, even Loki. 

“Fairest one of all, no question,” Bucky said. 

“You three are so sentimental,” Loki groaned. “It’s frankly disgusting.”

“Jealous, brother?” Thor asked with a grin. 

“Hardly.”

The music playing was generic teenage party songs like Party in the USA, Uptown Funk, and Cha Cha Slide. They even played Single Ladies that had all the girls single and otherwise (and Tony) tearing up the dance floor. Steve found himself relaxing as he, Thor, Bucky, and their friends just… hung out. It was fun and not really at all like what he was expecting. Steve had expected just lots of couples dancing together with groups like his standing at the periphery being awkward. Bucky did go out and dance around on the dancefloor with Wanda and Pietro, but he came back when the DJ announced that it was time for romantic date night dancing. 

“May I have this dance?” Thor asked as an Ed Sheeran song started playing. Give Me Love, which had definitely been a song that Steve had found himself grinning like an idiot to more than once in the past few months. Steve blushed and took his hand, letting Thor lead him out onto the dancefloor. Steve smiled as he guided Thor’s hand down to his waist before letting his left hand rest on Thor’s shoulder. Thor raised an eyebrow and began to slowly lead Steve in a waltz around the dancefloor. Steve had a brief moment of panic before he fell into the rhythm, as he had been taught. He followed Thor’s steps easily and Thor smiled broadly as he sped up to match the song’s tempo.

“When did you learn to waltz?” Thor asked. “We did not do this for Homecoming.”

Steve grinned a bit smugly. “Loki taught me,” he replied. “Him and Frigga, actually. They’ve been teaching me for a few months now.”

“Why did you not tell me?” 

“I wanted to surprise you,” Steve replied. 

“Well then, consider me surprised.”

It was honestly nothing like their dancing had been back in October. Or when they had swayed together in Thor’s backyard during Thanksgiving. There were steps, and Steve was faintly surprised by the ease with which Thor led him around the dance floor until the song ended. Steve took a moment to catch his breath when Bucky showed up and held out his hand for Steve. Thor kissed Bucky’s cheek as he saw himself back to their friends. 

Steve grinned as the song played. _Disney? Really?_ he thought. Bucky smiled too as Tale as Old as Time from Beauty and the Beast began to play. Then Bucky, shockingly, led Steve in a waltz as easily as Thor had. 

“You can dance?” Steve asked. Bucky smiled.

“Of course I can dance,” he said. “I love dancing.”

“You never told me!” Steve protested. 

“You never told Thor you were taking lessons,” Bucky pointed out. “Besides, my mom made me take lessons when I was a kid. Turns out I liked it a lot.”

If it was possible, Bucky may have been a better dancer than Thor was. Bucky glided effortlessly across the dancefloor so that Steve hardly felt like his feet touched the ground at all. He was disappointed when the song ended and Thor showed up to take Steve’s place. Bucky shifted easily into the following position and for the next song, Come Away With Me, Steve watched his boyfriends dance through the crowd. He was actually on his own this time. Wanda and Pietro were dancing together, as were Loki and Tony. 

“Had enough for now?” asked a voice. Steve jumped slightly and turned to see Ms. Foster smiling to herself as she watched the students. “They make a good pair.”

“Who does?” Steve asked. 

“Your boyfriends,” she said. “You have good taste, I’ll give you that.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Steve said. “I’m lucky to have them.”

“You are. I’m glad you found them.”

* * *

Whoever had devised the playlist must have been in a nostalgic Disney mood or something because the next dance Steve had with Thor was Once Upon a Dream. Granted, there had been a brief break where the DJ had gone back to the more party style line dancing songs and such, but now they were back to the cute romantic songs and someone had definitely felt like a Disney princess when they compiled the list. It was the version with Lana Del Rey from Maleficent, though, so Steve relaxed knowing that Thor wouldn’t get into the character of Prince Charming and start belting out the words to the song while they were dancing. 

Still, it was beautiful. Maybe it was the dancing or the fact that Steve’s anxiety had decided to die down just a little bit, but he felt like he was dancing with Prince Charming. Or two of them, anyway. If only there was a way for three people to dance together like this. Maybe it was for the best though. Steve had already noticed strange looks from people around him who apparently could not be bothered to mind their own business whenever he or the boyfriend he was dancing with at the time switched out. He didn’t let it bother him though. Actually dancing with his lovers in the middle of a crowded auditorium was more than he had ever imagined would happen in his life. A year ago this would have been impossible. 6 or 7 months ago this would have been nearly impossible. Steve was almost afraid to think about it too much out of fear that he would tempt the universe into giving him a panic attack or something. 

He drank some punch with Wanda and Pietro. Well, mostly Wanda. Pietro was chatting up someone he met on the dance floor. Steve didn’t recognize him. That romantic song by Elton John from Lion King was playing and Steve’s boyfriends were swaying gently to the rhythm of the music. Bucky had laid his head against Thor’s shoulder and it made Steve’s heart melt just a little bit to see them dancing together like this.

He was struck with a sense of déjà vu. It took Steve a moment to place why before he figured it out. This was what it had been like when Bucky had interrupted Steve and Thor’s dance on the night of Homecoming. Except now, Bucky was the one dancing with Thor and Steve was the one watching. It was… beautiful and intimate, like both of them had forgotten that there was anyone else around them. They may as well have been dancing on that rooftop. 

Steve smiled to himself. _We really should have another fondue night sometime_ , he thought. 

The song ended and Steve decided that he wanted to dance with Bucky again. Thor bent down to kiss them both before he left. Steve promptly rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek. Another Ed Sheeran song came on. Perfect, it sounded like. How appropriate, Steve thought. 

_Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms_  
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song  
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath  
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight 

Steve smiled as Bucky turned to kiss his cheek again. They swayed together to the music and Steve wondered if whoever was in charge of this sort of thing had made the playlist for them in mind or if every high school dance had copious amounts of cheesy love songs. Made sense, kind of. High school dances were sort of a big deal for young couples and now it finally made sense to Steve. 

“How you enjoying your first high school dance, doll?” Bucky asked. 

“My only high school dance,” Steve chuckled. “It’s… perfect.”

Bucky’s arms tightened around Steve’s waist. Steve closed his eyes and let Bucky hold him, let the song carry them away until it was almost like they really were standing in a grassy field with the stars shining down overhead, Thor, Steve, and Bucky all dancing together. He could hear the grass whisper and sing in the wind, feel the softness of the earth beneath his feet. Even though Steve loved New York, he always wondered what it would be like to be somewhere else, wherever that ended up being. 

The song ended and the image in Steve’s mind faded like mist as he opened his eyes. Bucky was smiling down at him and Steve stood up on his toes to kiss Bucky’s lips. Prom was beginning to wind down for the night, with people having either left already or having lost interest in the dancing. Thor walked up to them easily as the DJ announced the song, My Forever by Tamar Braxton. And, as if Thor knew what Steve had been imagining, he took one of Steve’s hands and one of Bucky’s. 

The dance was a bit awkward at first. There were no steps. Bucky seemed to have the least trouble adjusting to the new situation. It mostly involved swinging his arms to the rhythm of the song, the same rhythm to which he moved the rest of his body. He moved with such grace that Steve couldn’t believe that he didn’t know Bucky was a dancer. Steve and Thor glanced at each other and Steve thought for a moment that Thor must be having the same thought. Bucky was a vision. His body moved with a sleek grace and a confidence Steve envied. He felt awkward and clumsy in comparison, never quite sure what to do or how to do it. It had taken him months to get waltzing down pat. Steve decided that maybe closing his eyes would make him feel less self-conscious about himself. He tuned in to the chorus as it played one last time. 

_Your love feels like no space or time_  
Feels like a dream come true  
Cause my forever is you  
No wonderin' who I'll be with  
It's like I've always known who  
Boy, my forever is you 

_You, you, you_  
You, you, you  
Yeah  
Cause my forever is you, babe 

_That doesn’t sound half bad, really_ , Steve thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Btw, I totally headcanon that Bucky is by far the best dancer among the Avengers. Other than Natasha, anyway. Also, just in case y'all were expecting some steamy sexy fun times, that's for part 2! ;)
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	61. Prom Night part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW.

Thor had never been so happy that Loki would not be coming home. He had been staring at Steve and Bucky in their tuxedos all night, his hands itching to tear them off their bodies (though not literally, his mother would never forgive him). Steve had, for some reason, become uncomfortable snogging in the back seat while Mr. Baker was driving. That is, until Thor slid the divider up. Steve seemed to relax. Enough that he didn’t pull away when Bucky swooped in to capture Steve’s lips. The sight of them together made Thor tug at the collar of his shirt. His clothes were becoming entirely too confining. 

Thor seized Bucky by the front of his shirt and practically dragged him to kiss him. Thor crashed his lips against Bucky’s, wet and hot and open. Bucky gasped and Thor wasted no time before his tongue was in Bucky’s mouth, taking from him, sliding against Bucky’s, exploring the familiar terrain of his lover’s mouth. 

“Fuck Thor,” Bucky gasped. “Fuck I want you.”

Thor practically growled as the words completely bypassed his brain and went directly to his dick. And hell, if his pants were not suddenly extremely confining. It took entirely too long for them to get home. Nearly as soon as the car stopped and Thor heard Mr. Baker get out, he opened the door and jumped out of the car. He paused to greet his mother when they were inside before he practically dragged his lovers up the stairs. He shoved Steve against the wall and pulled at his clothes, desperate to feel his body against him. 

“Stop,” Steve breathed. Thor froze and stepped away. Steve was gasping for breath, slumped against the wall. 

“Steve… I… sorry, I did not mean to—”

“I know, Thor,” Steve said. “Just… I need you to slow down, okay?”

Thor’s shoulders sagged in relief. Steve reached out and took his hand. Thor leaned in to kiss him more gently this time.

“How do you want it, love?” he whispered. 

“Gentle please,” Steve said. “Make love to me. You can go hard and fast with Buck, but I like it when you’re sweet.”

Thor pulled at Steve’s bowtie and let it fall to the floor before he started with the rest of Steve’s outfit. Bucky’s arms were wrapped around Thor’s front, working at the buttons of his shirt. Steve teased Thor’s arms out of the jacket. Thor carelessly tossed it aside. As much as he wanted to tear Steve’s clothes off, he knew it would put his lover off. 

When Thor had finally managed to get Steve’s last layer off, he relished the feeling of Steve’s skin beneath his hands. Steve pushed past him to get to Bucky. 

“So Captain,” Bucky grinned. “What do you want from me?”

Steve hummed in consideration. “I wanna blow you, gorgeous.”

Bucky took Steve’s face in his hands and traced a thumb over Steve’s lips. Steve took the digit into his mouth and sucked. Thor had to keep himself from pushing Steve to the bed right then and there to see his beautiful lips wrapped around Bucky’s cock. 

“Can’t wait, doll,” Bucky whispered. 

It was a struggle, honestly, but eventually their formal clothes lay scattered across the room and the three of them stood naked and free. Thor picked Steve up and laid him out on the bed. His mouth latched onto Steve’s neck and began sucking on the sensitive flesh. Steve writhed and bucked beneath him.

“Jesus Christ, Thor,” Steve gasped. Thor felt the bed shift as Bucky went to the other side of their lover. Thor opened his eyes in time to see Bucky kiss and lick up the thick length of Steve’s shaft. Steve moaned, arched his back, bucking into Bucky’s mouth. 

“You are so beautiful,” Thor murmured into his ear. “So stunning like this. I wish I could see you like this every day.”

“Fuck Thor, fuck school,” Steve groaned. “I wish we could do this every day, too.”

“Soon, love,” Thor murmured. “Soon we will have nothing to do but make love every day. The three of us. I cannot wait to see how many times you can come in a day, how many ways our paramour and I can bring you pleasure.”

Steve gasped and gazed up at Thor, his eyes desperate and dilated and hungry. Thor kissed him and Steve returned it with equal desire. 

“Thor,” Steve whispered. “Please.”

“What do you need, _älskling_?” 

“Want to suck your cock,” Steve begged. Thor kissed him again and knelt before him. Steve pulled Bucky’s hair up and rolled over on his stomach so that he was on his hands and knees. Steve looked up at Thor and took Thor’s length in his hand before he kissed the head. Steve always gazed upon Thor’s cock with a mix of arousal and fascination. Thor loved it, loved that his lovers were so taken with his member. Steve licked the underside of the head and Thor gave a strained sigh as he began to lick and tease at his shaft. 

Bucky reached out to tease Steve’s hole. Steve whined against Thor’s cock as he wrapped his lips around the head. Thor stroked Steve’s face as his lover took Thor’s member deeper into his mouth. Thor moaned when the head reached the back of Steve’s hot mouth, the throat, and Steve swallowed him. Steve’s throat was tight and hot and there was nothing quite like it. Steve was just about the closest thing to a natural cocksucker as Thor had ever experienced, though Bucky was certainly no stranger to it. 

Thor had to stop himself from fucking Steve’s mouth. It was a challenge. Steve’s mouth felt incredible and hot and Thor wanted nothing more than to bury himself to the root in that hot, tight warmth. Steve assumed a steady pace, his head bobbing on Thor’s cock at a comfortable pace for him. Bucky, meanwhile, continued to tease at Steve’s hole, so accessible and ready to be teased. Thor met Bucky’s eyes and the man smirked as he knelt behind Steve’s body and spread his ass cheeks. Thor felt Steve give a little hum in anticipation, felt the vibrations blaze through his cock and his body. Thor watched as Bucky settled himself between Steve’s legs and he knew when Bucky began his deed when Steve whined around Thor’s cock. 

“Fuck, Steve,” Thor moaned. Steve moaned around his member and Thor groaned at the feeling. “I will not last long at this rate.”

Steve popped off his cock and smirked. “What’s the matter, big guy? Thought you wanted to do this more?” Steve teased. He stroked Thor slowly, squeezing at the base of his member. “Can’t handle a taste of your own medicine?”

Thor glared playfully at Steve. He dragged his nails gently up his spine and watched as Steve shivered beneath his touch. Steve moaned and arched his back when Bucky hummed against his hole. 

“Fuck Bucky please,” Steve whined. 

“What do you want, love?” Thor asked. He picked Steve’s torso up and walked him back until Steve was leaning against Thor’s body as his ass pushed against Bucky’s face. 

“Inside, Thor,” Steve moaned. “Please I need you inside.”

“So greedy,” Thor murmured. “Is that what you need, _älskling_? Or is it what you want?”

“Thor you can stop being obtuse any time you feel like it,” Steve said. “Or I’ll just let Bucky fuck me and you can watch.”

“Sounds good to me,” Bucky said. Bucky grabbed the lube and poured some on his hand and pressed a finger against Steve’s hole, teasing for a moment before it breached him. Steve hissed and grinned up at Thor.

“See? At least Bucky is giving me what I want,” he purred. 

“So bossy,” Thor grumbled, tracing a finger over Steve’s swollen lips. “You have no idea how you make me feel. How much I want you.”

Steve hummed. “I think I have some idea,” he replied, his hand pulling slightly along Thor’s cock. Enough to provide sensation, but not enough to provide relief or release. Steve jumped, sliding his body along Thor’s as Bucky hit that sweet spot inside him. His hands roamed over Thor’s chest, making their way up into Thor’s hair. Steve pulled Thor down into a kiss.

Thor growled into Steve’s mouth. His hands roamed over his lover’s body, flushed and pink with arousal. Steve mewled into Thor’s mouth as Bucky inserted a second finger. Thor came off him and smirked down at him. Steve was trying his utmost not to sound desperate, like being filled fingers or cock wasn’t the thing he was living for in this very moment. Thor moved back and let Steve drop back down onto his hands and sighed as Steve wrapped his lips back around Thor’s shaft. 

Bucky was gazing at them hungrily and Thor kicked himself for neglecting him. Thor crooked his finger, beckoning his dark beauty to come closer. Bucky came around and leaned over and Thor pulled Bucky into a searing kiss of his own. Bucky whined into Thor’s mouth . It was such a strange contrast. Bucky’s fingers in Steve’s ass, but whining desperately into Thor’s mouth. Thor grinned with satisfaction against Bucky’s mouth.

“My loves,” Thor murmured. “My beautiful lovers. I hardly deserve you.”

“Bullshit,” Bucky whispered. “You’re amazing. You’re kind and beautiful and you’ve helped us. You take care of us.”

Bucky laid his free hand against Thor’s face. “If you were an asshole we wouldn’t care about you. Okay?” 

Thor laid his hand over Bucky’s and pressed their foreheads together. “I know you do not know if you feel the same yet, but… I love you,” Thor said. 

Bucky swallowed. “I might… I think I could love you, too, Thor. Some day. But I know I care about you.”

Thor pressed another, gentler kiss to Bucky’s lips. “Thank you, _mitt hjärta_.”

Bucky smiled and returned his attention to Steve and pressed a third finger into Steve’s ass. Bucky’s other hand snaked around Steve’s waist and began to stroke Steve’s cock. Steve hummed around Thor’s cock. Thor threw his head back and moaned loudly. He bucked into Steve’s mouth. Steve choked and came off Thor’s mouth with a cough. 

“Jerk.”

“My apologies, my Steve.”

“You’re too good at that, doll,” Bucky said. “Can’t wait for my turn. But I promise not to choke you.”

“Thanks, gorgeous,” Steve said. “You done prepping me, yet?”

“Whenever you’re ready, baby.”

Rather than answer, Steve turned himself around and pressed himself back against Thor’s member. Thor was about to lube up his cock and press inside before he remembered what Steve had said. Make love to me. He gently took Steve’s body and turned him over so he was on his back. 

“Thor?” 

“Shh, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied. “I just want to see your face.”

“My face while I’m sucking off Bucky?” Steve said with a smirk. “Very romantic.”

Thor grinned as he lubed up his cock. “It will indeed be a thing of beauty. I cannot wait to see it.”

Thor pressed his member up to Steve’s hole and pressed in. He was hot and tight and Thor was convinced that he was never going to get used to how amazing Steve felt around him. Steve hissed and moaned as Thor buried himself in Steve’s heat. Steve arched up off the bed and clenched around Thor’s cock. 

“Relax love,” Thor whispered. He paused to give him time to adjust. Steve breathed deeply for a couple seconds before he nodded at Thor to continue. Thor pressed forward more carefully until he bottomed out. He bent down and covered Steve’s smaller body. Thor kissed Steve slowly as his lover gasped for breath while he caught his breath. 

“I’m good,” Steve said. “I’m good, you can move.”

Thor straightened and began to rock into Steve, rolling his hips in a slow, steady rhythm. Steve wrapped his legs around Thor’s waist. Steve moved to wrap his hand his shaft, but Bucky batted his hand away and wrapped his hand around it instead. Bucky angled his cock down to nudge against Steve’s mouth. 

“How—Jesus fuck—how is this gonna work?” 

Bucky grinned. “Open wide, doll.” 

Steve, amazingly, grinned back and obeyed. Bucky began to thrust into Steve’s mouth. They were just shallow thrusts, but Steve still sucked him eagerly. Thor could see the outline of Bucky’s cock against Steve’s cheek. And if it was at all possible for Steve to be any hotter, he glanced at Thor out of the side of his eyes and smirked around a mouthful of Bucky’s cock. 

Thor’s hands snaked up Steve’s thighs as he rocked his hips into Steve. Steve wrapped his legs tighter around Thor’s body, and Thor angled his thrusts to go deeper. Steve moaned loudly against Bucky’s cock. 

“Fuck, Stevie!” Bucky shouted. “Oh Christ that feels amazing. That’s it, baby. You like my cock don’t you?”

Steve just moaned again as Bucky thrust into his mouth, a dribble of saliva escaped him and left a trail down his chin. Steve tapped against Bucky’s thigh and Bucky pulled out of Steve’s mouth and Steve stared up at him with a big blissed out smile on his face. 

“Damn,” he gasped. “This if… weird but amazing.”

“Stevie, shit you look amazing like this,” Bucky groaned. “You were born to suck cock.”

“You’re one to talk,” Steve groaned. “Fuck Thor, more, I need more.”

“My pleasure,” Thor growled, his hands moved from Steve’s thighs to grip his hips roughly. He did not speed up but he thrust harder into Steve’s body aiming for where he knew his prostate was. Steve arched up off the bed again and groaned. Bucky silenced him when he angled his cock down towards Steve’s mouth and Steve obediently started sucking him off. 

Thor closed his eyes and let himself get lost in Steve’s heat, his moans, the music of sweat and grunts. He descended upon Steve’s exposed neck and sucked. It was a strange angle, with Bucky’s cock thrusting into Steve’s mouth and Steve turned away to let him. Thor sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin until there was a big red love bite on Steve’s neck. 

“Steve,” Thor murmured into his ear. “You are the most beautiful, stunning, amazing person. Gods, oh my gods, I love, I love you. So much.”

Steve whined and Bucky had to stop to keep himself from choking Steve on his dick. He moaned desperately. 

“God, Jesus, Steve I’m not gonna last long now,” Bucky moaned. Steve hummed and seemed to hollow out his cheeks as he sucked Bucky harder. Bucky threw his head back and moaned as he came. Some of it escaped Steve’s mouth and Thor watched hungrily as it dribbled down the side of his cheek. It was a siren call, that little trail of cum and saliva. Thor leaned over and licked it up.

“Thor,” Steve croaked. Thor gathered him in his arms and picked him up. Thor shifted them until Steve was sitting in his lap and Thor was leaning back against the headboard. He kissed Steve deeply, relishing the taste of Bucky’s seed lingering in Steve’s mouth. Steve took a moment to adjust to the new position before he looked at Thor. Thor grinned. 

“Ride me, Steve,” Thor whispered. 

“How do I do that?” 

“The same way we rubbed off each other when you were on top,” Thor said. Steve ginned and began to roll his hips Thor’s lap. Thor’s hands fell to Steve’s hips and he started kneading Steve’s ass while Steve bounced on Thor’s cock. Thor thrust up into Steve’s ass as well, hitting his prostate. Steve whined and gasped, bracing his hands against Thor’s chest. Bucky came around and settled himself behind Steve. He angled Steve’s chin up and kissed him. Steve could hardly return it, his jaw slack as he moaned. Bucky’s lips fell to his neck and kissed and sucked his way up to Steve’s ear. 

“Look at him, doll,” Bucky whispered. “He worships you. He talks about his god. Don’t believe it. You’re the one he lives for. Feel that cock inside you? Feel how hard he is for you?”

Bucky’s hands wandered around Steve’s body and down. One of his hands wrapped around Steve’s cock. He started to pump Steve’s cock in tandem with his rolling against Thor’s groin. Steve’s eyes looked glazed over with arousal as he turned towards Thor. Thor could feel his climax building in the pit of his stomach. He thrust up harder, his hands squeezing Steve’s ass a little painfully. Steve clenched around his cock. The heat and tightness drove Thor up the wall. 

“Thor, God I’m close,” Steve groaned. 

“Steve so am I. Gods you’re so amazing and tight,” Thor said. He shouted and swore as he came, releasing his load deep into Steve’s hole. A moment later, Steve’s ass tightened around him and he came, his come shooting out onto Thor’s stomach. Steve collapsed completely boneless against Bucky’s body. 

“Whoa there, doll. I got you, come on,” Bucky whispered. 

Steve let Bucky pick him up and lay him down next to Thor before he jumped off the bed and fetched a damp rag from the bathroom to wipe down their bodies. Thor was almost tempted to tell Bucky to lick the come off him instead so they could get to the cuddling, but in his post-orgasm haze, the words wouldn’t come before Bucky was there wiping them down. 

“That was… interesting,” Steve said. Thor glanced at him, a little worried about his smaller lover. 

“Good interesting or bad?” he asked. 

“Um…”

Thor rolled over to look at him. “Steve, if you did not enjoy parts of it, I would have you tell us.”

Steve swallowed. “I… wasn’t a huge fan of the riding,” he admitted. “The getting fucked on one end and sucking dick on the other was great, but… I don’t know, I guess I prefer to just bottom. From the bottom. You know?”

“It’s okay, Stevie,” Bucky said. “Not everyone has to like the same things.”

“I guess, I like feeling you on top of me,” he said. “Makes me feel good. Safe. I didn’t not like riding you, but it didn’t quite do it for me either. I’d be willing to try it again, though, sometime.”

“We can do whatever you want at whatever pace you want, älskling,” Thor murmured. He pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “I am glad that you told me.”

“Was Bucky right?” Steve asked. Thor raised an eyebrow. “Do you worship me?”

Thor actually smiled down at his lover as he felt amusement bubble up in his chest. He chuckled and pressed a light kiss to Steve’s lips. “I did not realize I was being subtle,” Thor replied. “I shall have to try harder.”

“Will you piss off Baldr?” Steve asked with a bit of a smirk. Thor rolled his eyes. 

“Steve, I am sure he will not mind,” Thor said, grinning. “He is dead. I am sure he has other things to worry about than me worshipping my lover’s body.”

“Sounds blasphemous.”

“Our gods are not nearly as prone to smiting as the one you swear by,” Thor deadpanned. “I think I will be fine. Besides, Beltane is coming up. If Baldr was that easily offended, I would never be able to celebrate as one is meant to.”

“What’s Beltane and when is it?” Steve asked. 

“More importantly, what are we doing?” Bucky added. 

“Beltane is the celebration of spring and fertility,” Thor said. “It is… in a week or two, I think. Ask mother. As for what we will do…” he grinned suggestively at each of them. “I suppose you will have to wait and see.”

“You’re a damn tease, Odinson,” Bucky said. 

“If I tell you, it would spoil the surprise,” Thor replied.

Bucky’s dilated just a bit. “Will we like the surprise?”

Thor hummed and let his hand roam over Bucky’s body, down the side of his chest until he reached the ass. He smacked it. Hard enough for Bucky to yelp in surprise. Thor chuckled and squeezed that tight, firm ass. 

“I intend to ensure that you will, my loves.”

“I’ll hold you to that, sweetheart,” Bucky said. “Otherwise I’ll go to Baldr and tell him that you’re a subpar boyfriend.”

Thor laughed before he rolled on top of Bucky and pinned him to the bed. Bucky, for his part, didn’t even try to get away. Thor pressed a kiss to his lips… right before he started tickling Bucky’s sides. Bucky released an inhuman shriek and tried to jump away but Thor held him down.

“Ste—Stevie help me!”

Steve just smiled and settled down on the other side of the bed. “You can do it, I believe in you! Go get ‘em, babe.”

Thor grinned wickedly and resumed his assault. His fingers danced over his body and Bucky writhed beneath him, laughing and gasping for breath.

“If only the football team had known that you were the most ticklish person on the planet,” Thor said. “Even more so than our dear Steve.”

“Don’t even j-joke about t-that!” Bucky said between bouts of giggling. “I-I’d n-never hear the end of it!”

Eventually, when Thor decided that Bucky had had enough, he stopped, pressed a kiss to his lips and rolled back over on the bed. Bucky gasped for breath, his body still shaking from the aftermath of Thor’s attack. 

“I hate you.”

“I know.”

“I do!”

“Yes, _mitt hjärta._ ”

“You should make it up to me.”

Thor smiled. “It would be my pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense!


	62. 3 of Cups (Friendship, Celebration)

It was a couple days after prom. It was over and honestly… it was the most amazing experience of Steve’s life. He was still somewhat amazed that he hadn’t had a panic attack at any point in the night. He could have danced all night with Bucky and Thor. It was his favorite fantasy, now. Dancing under the stars with music playing softly in the background until the sun came up. 

_God, never thought I would be so cheesy_ , he thought. He couldn’t fight the smile on his face, though. He was laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, playing that evening through his mind over and over again. The look of surprise on Thor’s face when they began to dance, resting his head on their shoulders as the night wore on, kissing, fucking, Thor and Bucky keeping him awake until the sun started to rise and they finally fell asleep in a messy, sweaty tangle of limbs. It was a good night, even if Steve and Thor had been exhausted going into school on Monday. Bucky had smugly decided to sleep in while they got ready, hugging one of their pillows. 

Just a few days until the Beltane ritual. It was apparently technically on May 1st, but Thor’s family preferred to do it on the weekend because it was just more accessible and prom had taken place the first weekend. 3 weeks until graduation. 4 weeks until they went to Sweden for a full summer, at least. Thor had been hinting that they could remain in Europe for longer if they wanted. It made sense. Thor had mentioned before that he wanted to spend a year traveling before he went to college. Steve couldn’t deny that he liked the idea of spending a full year traveling the world with his boyfriends had a certain appeal. And it wasn’t as if Thor couldn’t do it, but Steve would probably want to return home every now and then for holidays and such. Just because he was going to be able to spend Christmas with people for once didn’t mean that his mom had to be alone (even if she and Bertie got engaged). Felt wrong.

Steve had been looking up stuff to do in Europe. He immediately shied away from Oktoberfest in Germany, even though it sounded like that would right up Thor and Bucky’s alley. Just because he was more or less okay with alcohol now didn’t mean he wanted to be around a bunch of drunk people. That being said, Steve figured he could spend years traveling Europe and seeing everything there was to see. He supposed the same could be said for every continent and looking up famous landmarks in Europe had ignited a genuine wanderlust. Steve wondered if his boyfriends wouldn’t mind exploring the world if they ended up together in the long term. 

That thought didn’t really seem that intimidating anymore, strangely enough. Maybe it was the fact that they were going abroad together, or the fact that they seemed to all be on the same page for the moment. The thought of the three of them being together for… months longer, or years made Steve excited more than anything. 

He used to think that he couldn’t wait for high school to end so that he could get on with his life and leave everything terrible that happened to him behind. Now he found that he was still ready for high school to end, but for completely different reasons. His life wasn’t terrible anymore. He was loved. By Thor. By Bucky. His mom, of course. Thor’s family (even Loki, he suspected). He had friends that he would honestly miss once high school was over. A year ago he was trying to avoid thinking about Bucky, his only friend, leaving for college. It was so different now. 

And as much as he loved what he had now, Steve couldn’t wait for what would come next. 

His phone buzzed. It was Bucky in their group chat with Thor.

_Come to the restaurant. Got someone I want you guys to meet._

* * *

Bucky threw himself into his work as if he wasn’t going to be in Europe for the foreseeable future. He was actively trying to ignore the feeling of butterflies in his stomach, restlessness in his legs. He was itching to go. If it weren’t for the fact that both his boyfriends were still in high school, he would have asked if they could go as soon as prom was over. Alas, they had to stick around for a few weeks so they could graduate. 

Tonya was teaching him how to actually cook the various dishes they served in the restaurant today. Actually, teaching him how to cook was about all she ever did with him now. She had decided that if he was going to go “gallivanting” across the world, he should at least know how to cook food when they had the ability to do so. It was a good point. They couldn’t exactly count on Odin being their benefactor forever, especially once they were no longer traveling the world. It was a practical skill. 

Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder. Tonya was looking at him. 

“You have a visitor,” she said. “Go on, get going, I can take it from here.”

Bucky looked at the clock. It was 3:30. Steve and Thor would be out of school by now, but not in time to be here unless they had decided to ditch. Who would blame them, really? Prom was over. No one took the last few weeks of school seriously beyond the finals. Which Steve and Thor didn’t have much of because of their advanced placement classes. It was possible they had ditched school to surprise him at work. Which, would honestly be stupid if it weren’t also the cutest thing ever. He grinned and rushed out of the kitchen as quickly as he dared.

Bucky got smacked across the face as soon as he opened the doors. Hard enough that he felt dizzy for a moment and wondered if whoever it was had given him another concussion because he was 80% sure that he was seeing stars. He shook his head vaguely and looked around for his assailant. 

There, in a black denim jacket with a red top and black skinny jeans, was his other best friend, Natasha Romanoff. And she looked livid, which for her meant that she looked like Hell frozen over. 

“3 months, Bucky?” she demanded. “Come on, 3 months and I hardly hear from you at all? What happened to us being besties?”

“Nat, what are you doing here?” Bucky asked. 

“ _I’m_ here because apparently tracking you down is the only way to figure out what happened to you,” she said. “Where have you been? You never came back from spring break! Your parents came and emptied your room and everything! And here you are, alive and well.” She slapped him again. 

“God, Nat, enough!” he said. Then he sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s just… lots of stuff has happened. It’s been difficult to keep up with it all and honestly I forgot.”

“This better be good,” she said. “And there had better be breadsticks.”

Bucky chuckled and drew her into a hug. He did miss her and they had become best friends really quickly. The held each other for a minute before Bucky took her to the table he, Steve, and Thor used. Sophia had affectionately dubbed it, “Bucky’s Nook.” Bucky thought it equally ridiculous and endearing. He shot a text off to his boyfriends telling them to come by the restaurant.

“So what do you want to know?” Bucky asked. Nat bridged her fingers and looked at him coolly. Bucky gulped, knowing it would have to be a good story.

“Everything,” she said. “Try starting at the beginning with why you didn’t come back from spring break.”

So Bucky told her. She was amazingly unmoved by his story about how he had kissed Steve on his birthday. She did, however raise her eyebrows when he said that he had gotten hit by a car on his way to the train station. The rest of the story passed more or less steadily. Nat didn’t even blink at the revelation that he had not one buy two boyfriends and that one of them was in fact the guy he had been pining over all year. 

“So you come home, finally make a move on that guy you like, get hit by a car, and then you got not one but two boyfriends,” Nat said. “Got pics?” 

Bucky fished his phone out of his pocket and swiped to a picture of the three of them getting ready for prom and showed her. Nat’s eyebrows rose as she looked at it. Bucky grinned in satisfaction at the sight. 

“I should really smack you again,” she said. “Some people have all the luck.”

“Oh really?”

“Bucky. Dude, come on,” she deadpanned. “You make a move, get hit by a car, and by the end of it you end up with not one, but two—two!—super cute boyfriends.”

“Sure sounds great when you say it like that,” Bucky said. “And we’re going to Europe for a few months to a year as soon as the school year is up.”

“I’m definitely smacking you again,” she said. “That’s totally unfair. You should feel ashamed of yourself for not inviting me.”

Bucky grinned. “Sorry but I think it’s a boyfriend only event,” he said. “And unfortunately for you, both of them are gay and I’m the only one who’s remotely attracted to women.”

At that moment, Steve and Thor walked into the restaurant. Bucky found himself smiling when he saw them, his heart skipping a beat, and his insides feeling all warm and fuzzy. Sophia hugged them both fiercely when they arrived and pointed them towards the table. Natasha, sharp as always turned around. And then. She waved. At them. Bucky thought he might melt through the floor. Thor and Steve both kissed him as they sat down. 

“Who is your friend, Bucky?” Thor asked. 

“Steve, Thor, this is Natasha, a friend from college,” Bucky said. “Natasha, this is Thor and Steve.”

“Natasha? Like…” Steve trailed off. _Oh no_ , Bucky thought. “Like that girl you had a crush on? What’s she doing here?” _My life is over._

“I’m right here, Stevie,” she said. “And…” she turned an icy gaze to Bucky. “What’s this about you having a crush on me?”

“Thanks, Steve,” Bucky muttered. 

“Yeah thanks Steve,” she said turning to him. “So spill.”

“I don’t know what’s there to spill,” Steve said. “All I know is that Bucky said he had a crush on you back in September. Lasted a couple months or something before he said that you weren’t interested.”

“You mean to tell me,” she said. “That James told you that he had a crush on me instead of growing the balls to say that he had a crush on you?”

Steve looked between them. “Yes?”

Natasha stared at Steve for a minute before she burst out laughing. She laughed so loud that the people around them stopped what they were doing to stare at them like they were a group of annoying, potentially crazy teenagers. Bucky wasn’t sure if they would be wrong on that count, either.

“Bucky, James, you’re such a doofus! Come over here so I can slap you again.” Bucky decided to comply since he did sort of have it coming, honestly. Considering that he had disappeared off the face of the earth as far as she was concerned and hadn’t told her anything. Nat was a good friend. The slap was gentler than her earlier ones. 

“Natasha, please explain,” Thor replied. 

“This guy, spent months pining for some kid back home but never had the balls to make a move,” she said. “So when he comes to me and tells me that the love of his life hooked up with another guy, I told him to make the most of it. And then, after you’d been with the guy for months, he fucking made move! And it worked!”

“Sooo… he didn’t have a crush on you?” Steve asked. 

“Nope,” she said emphatically. “Kinda already had a boyfriend at the time and honestly, one guy is really all I can handle. Props to you guys for making it work for so long.”

“It has scarcely been two months,” Thor said. 

“But you’re all going to Europe,” she pointed out. 

“That is… a fair point.”

After Bucky managed to get over his initial mortification over Steve blurting out the fact that Bucky had been a total wuss, Bucky was horrified to learn that both his boyfriends managed to get along with Nat. Thor seemed really interested in her family’s Russian origins and Steve swapped embarrassing stories about Bucky. 

“He did not!” Nat cackled after Steve relayed one story involving a cherry pie, a pair of shoes, and a ghost pepper. Bucky had actually managed to repress that one.

“Mrs. Jenkins is still convinced the place was haunted,” Steve said with a grin. Thor gave that loud booming laugh again and Bucky thought he just might melt. That might be preferable, honestly, he thought.

“Can we stop talking about this please?” he begged. 

“Shut up, Barnes, it’s the least you deserve after not telling me you were alive,” Nat replied with a mischievous grin. 

“Buck, you didn’t mention that you were okay?” Steve chastised. “What the hell, dude?”

“It… may have slipped my mind between being in the hospital and starting a relationship with you and Thor,” Bucky admitted, a flush creeping on his cheeks. 

“You were there for days, love,” Thor said. Natasha made a disgusting aww sound. 

“I spent most of that time sleeping,” he pointed out. “and doped up on painkillers.”

“Very well, I suppose that is a valid reason,” Thor replied.

“Still could’ve let me know what was up when you were out,” Natasha said. 

“I’m disappointed in you, sugar,” Steve said. “You’re a bad friend.”

“Sugar,” Natasha mouthed. Bucky didn’t care how much he loved Steve. That punk was dead. 

Bucky occupied himself with shoving breadsticks into his mouth while they waited for their food. Between the four of them, they managed to go through a few baskets of the little slices of heaven in nearly as many minutes. Bucky tried to focus on just getting through the increasingly awkward lunch. He made a note to go back to himself 2 months ago and kick him in the shins until he told Nat everything that happened as soon as he found a time machine. 

Nat stuck around for a few more hours after Steve and Thor left. Bucky found himself relaxing the longer she was around. They were catching up on everything they had missed during the past couple months. As it happened, Natasha was taking a year off from school as well to pursue dancing. Bucky knew that she had danced as a kid (it was one of the things they had bonded over when they first met) but he had no idea that she was taking it seriously. There was apparently a biggish ballet studio in New York she applied to. She would find out in a couple weeks whether she was accepted or not. 

“That’s amazing, Nat!” he said, flinging an arm over her shoulders. “You have to tell me if you get in!”

“Sure, I’ll tell you, you know why?” she asked. Bucky rolled his eyes. 

“Because you’re a great friend and I should aspire to match your example?”

“Exactly. Good to see you’re coming around.”

Bucky actually managed to laugh at that. “I missed you, Nat,” he said. 

“Asshole. I missed you, too,” she replied. “You better have a fucking blast in Europe or I’ll track you down and kill you.”

“You got it, Nat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all!
> 
> Come follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense. <3


	63. Beltane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW

While Samhain had been more or less similar to Halloween and Yule had lots of overlap with Christmas, Beltane was truly… strange. Steve had expected it to coincide with Easter or something, but Easter had been, like, a month ago. He honestly had no idea what to expect. Thor had been surprisingly tight lipped about it. The implication that there was something inherently sexual about it was probably his attempt to distract them from prying. 

This time, his mother wasn’t coming. She was going on a date today with Bertie. Steve wondered if today would be the day he would propose to her. Part of him had wanted to see it happen, but there was also part of him that appreciated Bertie’s discretion. He would probably prefer a more private proposal. Steve put it aside and focused on getting ready. 

Thor had only said to wear white or something bright, at least. Which wasn’t a challenge in theory, but he absolutely was _not_ going to wear his nice, fancy tuxedo to a party. Prom was one thing but Steve didn’t want to stand out that much. Unfortunately, that didn’t leave him much in the way of options. Steve eventually managed to scrounge up a bright blue shirt and a pair of white gym shorts. He looked more like he was about to work out with Thor and Bucky than celebrate a holiday with them. 

Not the most flattering outfit, but still, it’ll have to do, he thought as he threw on the clothes. Hopefully Bucky wouldn’t have something too much more impressive.

* * *

Steve was wrong in the best of ways. Bucky had something ridiculous and embarrassing. As soon as he arrived, he entered the house to see the Loki, Frigga, and Tony laughing their asses off. Standing there, like a figure out of Greek mythology (or a Greek frat, anyway) was James Buchanan Barnes. In a bedsheet toga. The most ungraceful snort escaped Steve’s nose. 

“What?” Bucky demanded. 

“You look ridiculous!” Steve said. He double over laughing. “Where did you even learn how to make a sheet toga?”

“At college, punk. Where else?”

Steve looked at Loki and Frigga. “Tell me one of you knows how to make a flower crown.”

Loki smiled that Cheshire cat grin of his and walked out of the room silently. Bucky scowled at Steve. 

“A flower crown? Really?”

“What? It’s Beltane. Spring, flowers, fertility, and all that,” Steve said. “Don’t be a party pooper, gorgeous.”

Bucky pouted. Actually legitimately pouted. It was the most adorable look Steve had ever seen on Bucky’s face. Steve closed the distance between them and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him. Bucky returned it after a moment and Steve broke away to smile up at him. Bucky was still pouting.

“You really want me to wear a flower crown, doll?” Bucky asked. Steve nodded.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get Thor to wear one, too,” Steve promised. 

“Ugh, Cap go be gross somewhere else,” Tony griped. “You’re so cheesy it’s too much.”

“Says the guy who comes up with the most ridiculous names on the planet for his boyfriend,” Bucky said. “Can’t you stick with something normal like honey or darling or something?”

“No actually I can’t and if I could I still wouldn’t because unlike some people, I’m not boring. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“A reputation for eccentricity and over the top antics?” Steve asked. 

“I was going to say my superior intellect and creative genius,” Tony deadpanned. “Or do you think you have the market cornered on cute names for your boyfriends?”

“At least the stuff he comes up with is good,” Bucky said. “Classy. If he called me something like ‘my voluptuous lampshade’ I’d leave.”

“That only happened once!”

“In front of everyone,” Steve replied. “There was my personal favorite: ‘my smoldering pear tart.’”

“What about ‘my alluring peach blossom’?” Bucky asked. They doubled over laughing at that, clutching their sides while Tony did his best to look indignant. 

“I won’t apologize for my genius,” he muttered. 

“Which genius is that?” Loki asked as he returned. His hands bore a flower crown of some type of fragrant, pink roses and other flowers Steve didn’t recognize. He handed it to Steve. Steve smiled up at Bucky who rolled his eyes but bent down so Steve could secure it to his head. 

“Nothing, my zingy blueberry,” Tony replied. Loki sighed. 

“Never mind.” 

Thor walked in a few minutes later wearing a plain, bright red shirt that left nothing to the imagination and a pair of white pants that looked suspiciously like baseball pants. He grinned and spun for his boyfriends when he saw them. Steve’s gaze dropped to Thor’s ass immediately and his mouth went dry. This man surely meant to torture him, if the way the pants hugged and accentuated his ass. 

“Can we skip the rest of the holiday?” Bucky asked Steve. 

“I hope so,” Steve replied. “Or that it’s a short thing at least. If I have to spend al day staring at that I’m going to combust.”

“Who’s dumb for wearing a toga now, punk?” 

Thor chuckled at their quiet bickering. “What on earth are you wearing, _mitt hjärta_?” he asked as he approached. “I would have dressed to match had I known that you would be crowned for it.”

“See? Thor likes it!”

Steve rolled his eyes but smiled at them. Thor laid a hand on Bucky’s cheek and kissed him. 

“You look beautiful, love,” Thor said. Bucky actually blushed at the praise. 

“So we are all here. Good, we can begin,” another voice said. Steve turned and saw… Odin. But he was dressed up in what looked like a large ornamental hat with large horns. Frigga stood by his side in a simple white dress with four long, red cords that wrapped around a belt and trailed behind her on the floor. 

What followed was not anything Steve had expected. Odin chased Frigga around the property (small, admittedly considering that they were still in the city). Loki explained that Odin (creatively dubbed the Horned One) was supposed to chase Frigga (who was apparently representing the Earth in her maiden form) and attempt to get the four cords off her dress without her noticing. It was some kind of elaborate, yearly courtship ritual in the hopes of a good, bountiful year. 

“So what happens if he succeeds?” Tony asked. “We all gather round the campfire and sing kumbaya?”

Loki and Thor laughed at the question and shook their heads. Tony wasn’t the only one to sigh with relief at that. The last thing Steve needed was to hear Thor singing. 

“Though who can say when the mood to sing shall strike?” Thor asked, shooting a teasing glance towards Steve. “Anything could happen.”

* * *

Beltane was as different from Samhain and Yule as those two holidays had been different from each other. For one, there was much more dancing. Not waltzing or anything like that either. It was wild and joyful and just a bit insane. There was a sense of glee that hadn’t been present at Samhain or even at Yule. Music blared in the yard, but not loudly enough that the neighbors would complain. Where Samhain and Yule were somewhat contemplative, Beltane was purely celebratory. 

That being said, it was no less magical than those other holidays. Odin and Loki carried bundles of twigs around the fire pit (the Beltane fire, they called it) and hung them up over the fire place. They gave a separate bundle to each of their guests.

“These are rowan branches,” Odin explained as he handed a bundle to Steve and another to Bucky. “They are meant to bless the home.” 

Steve, for his part, decided not to question the gesture. It was a peace offering, of sorts. Besides, since he was leaving for Europe in a few weeks, he figured he may as well leave them with his mother. She could use some blessing while he was gone. 

Frigga taught Steve how to make a flower crown, though somehow he ended up making a crown while all of her flowers ended up on his body. The completed, slightly shoddy flower crown ended up on Thor’s head and he wore it with pride. Thor attempted to return the favor later, but it just resulted in showering Steve with petals and stuff. Thor was all thumbs. Bucky, on the other hand somehow knew how to do it.

“I have a sister and lots of female cousins,” he explained as he settled the crown on Steve’s head. “You learn pick up a few things. Like how to make flower crowns and bracelets or how to braid hair.”

That lead to an entire afternoon of Thor sitting on the ground in front of Bucky while he braided Thor’s hair. Thor was an unruly client, constantly throwing his head back, laughing, and generally moving around. Steve was eventually called over to sit in Thor’s lap to keep him still. 

“Sweetheart, you’re more wriggly than my cousin Jenny, and she’s five,” Bucky muttered. 

“Well he does like having his hair petted and stuff,” Steve said. “Maybe he’s just enjoying this too much.”

“Would I ever be so cruel as to undermine my lover’s efforts for my own pleasure?” Thor asked, doing his best to sound affronted. 

“Yes,” Steve and Bucky answered. Thor tried to pout but he didn’t have the face for it. The best he could do was look grumpy with a dash of indigestion. 

Bucky finally managed to finish the boho braid. Thor jumped up to his feet and dragged them to dance around the fire again. It was strange and disorganized and Steve had no idea what to do with his body. He tried to mimic Bucky for the most part, who seemed to just know how to move his body whether it was fighting someone or dancing with them. It was… remarkably like the image Steve had in his mind of the three of them dancing together under the stars in that nameless field. 

At that thought, he launched himself at Thor and pulled him to the ground. They laughed as they rolled around in the grass until Steve was lying on his back with Thor hovering over him. Steve looked up into Thor’s eyes, sparkling with glee and warmth like the summer sky. 

“I love you,” Steve whispered. He reached up to stroke his fingers over Thor’s cheek. Thor smiled down at him and sealed their lips together. It was warm and happy and lazy and Thor tasted like those amazing Swedish chocolates they kept around the house. 

“And I, you, my älskling,” Thor replied. He gazed down at Steve with such gentle affection that it melted Steve’s heart. Steve brought Thor’s face back down and kissed him again. Thor hummed into Steve’s mouth and Steve drank it up. 

They lay there on the ground, the music playing in the background going mostly unnoticed. Thor peppered Steve’s face with kisses but never descended lower on account of the people in the yard who were also celebrating. Still, they showered each other with as much adoration as they dared until Thor pulled away. 

“I wish to show you the best part of Beltane,” Thor murmured. 

“What is it?” Steve asked. Thor grinned, a dark, hungry glint in his eyes and rose to fetch Bucky, who had gone back to dancing with Frigga, Tony, and Loki around the fire pit. The fire burned bright and hot in the afternoon sun. Thor caught Bucky and pressed a kiss to his lips. Steve felt himself stir when he saw how Bucky melted against Thor. Thor grinned as he grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled him along towards the house. 

It didn’t take long for Steve to realize that they were heading towards Thor’s room. He grinned. His suspicions about why Thor had been looking forward to this holiday was confirmed. Not that Steve was at all disappointed. The bed was laid out similarly to how it had been on Valentine’s Day. Petals were strewn out on the bed, chocolate and champagne were on the night stands. Thor grabbed the flowers adorning him (except for the crown) and tossed them on the bed. 

No, Steve could not be disappointed in this turn of events. Not as he watched Thor shove Bucky down onto the bed and cover him with his body. Steve’s eyes immediately fell to Thor’s form-fitting pants, to that glorious ass that Steve wanted to grab and squeeze and bite.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Bucky laughed as he fell back against the bed. “Why didn’t we just skip to this part?”

“I was informed that just because I had lovers this year, I was still expected to do everything else for Beltane,” Thor replied. “But I have been burning with desire for you all day.”

Bucky hummed and arched up to rub his groin against Thor’s. Steve moaned at the sight. Both of them looked over at Steve with desire and lust and love mingling in their eyes. Steve had a moment of warning before Thor was pulling him gently over to the bed and laying him out next to Bucky. Bucky rolled over and seized Steve’ slips in a searing kiss. 

Steve wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist. Steve shoved Bucky’s toga off over his shoulders and was relieved to realize that Bucky at least had the good sense to wear shorts underneath it. Thor pulled those off as quickly as Steve had shoved the toga to the floor. Bucky sighed against Steve’s mouth and Steve’s hands roamed over his body. Bucky’s body, strong and graceful. Sometimes Steve wanted to take Bucky’s shirt off just to run his hands over Bucky’s broad chest and the hair that grew there. 

Steve teased one of Bucky’s nipples with his fingers while he descended on the other with his mouth and started to lick and nip at the sensitive flesh. Bucky groaned above him and his hands fell to Steve’s ass, shoving past the hem to squeeze. Steve whined and arched up against Bucky’s body. 

“You’re wearing too much clothing, baby doll,” Bucky whispered. He shoved Steve’s pants off him and threw them to the floor. Steve practically tore his shirt off. His body sang when his nakedness met Bucky’s as they kissed, their tongues dancing in a crazed frenzy of lips and teeth.

“So beautiful,” Thor rumbled. Steve looked over at him. Thor was palming his erection through his pants that did as little to hide his boner as the curve of his ass. “I almost wish to stand back and witness your lovemaking.”

“Babe, you better fucking not,” Steve hissed. He got up and walked on his knees to the edge of the bed. Steve hooked a finger in the hem of Thor’s shirt to pull him closer so he could kiss him. 

“What if that is what I desire?” Thor murmured against Steve’s lips. “What if I desire to watch Bucky make love to you?”

“Is that what you want?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow. It would be hot, sure, but Thor usually enjoyed touching them too much. Steve knew that he enjoyed their hands and bodies on him as well. 

“It is not,” Thor murmured. 

“So what do you want, sweetheart?” Bucky asked, wrapping his arms around Steve before he leaned in to kiss Thor. “Tell us, Thor. How do you want us?” 

Thor shoved Bucky back down to the bed and moved around Steve to straddle his hips. “I wish to make love to you, _mitt hjärta_ ,” he said, divesting himself of his shirt. “While you make love to our dear Steve.”

“Um, not to be the killjoy here, but how?” Steve asked. Steve swallowed when he beheld the mischievous, eager looks on their faces.

Bucky got up and bent Steve over on the bed gently. Steve relaxed almost immediately and surrendered to the amazing feeling of having his ass rimmed. He moaned into the mattress when he felt Bucky’s fingers teasing him around his hole. Steve managed to keep himself from rutting against the bed, if barely. 

“Shh, baby doll, I got you,” Bucky murmured. Steve shivered as Bucky’s hot breath caressed his hole. His asshole quivered in anticipation. “Fuck you’re beautiful like this, baby.”

“Fuck, Bucky stop teasing me,” Steve groaned. “Please.”

“Aww, baby, of course. Anything for you,” Bucky murmured right before he licked one long, slow, sensuous stripe across Steve’s hole. This time Steve couldn’t help but push back against Bucky’s face, begging for more, for that hot, wonderful tongue to breach him. Bucky ignored him, the ass. Suddenly Bucky moaned against Steve’s hole and the vibrations traveled up Steve’s spine as his entire body screamed with pleasure. He may have actually screamed, who knows? Steve didn’t care. 

He looked back at them as best he could without moving his ass and saw Thor kneeling at the edge of the bed with his face between Bucky’s legs. Thor looked up at Steve and winked. 

“Fuck me,” Steve swore. 

“That’s the idea,” Bucky replied. Bucky stroked him up along the length of his spine and gently pushed Steve back down to the bed. Steve moaned into the mattress every time Bucky moaned against him. It wasn’t long before Steve heard the telltale cap of a lube bottle opening. His breathing hitched when he felt Bucky press one lubed finger up to Steve’s hole. It entered him easily, considering that Steve was still loose from when they had had sex a couple days ago. Still, Steve felt like he was in heaven when Bucky’s finger entered him, followed by another and they began to scissor him. 

“Fuck doll, you’re still loose,” Bucky whispered. His breath caressed Steve’s skin , making Steve shiver. “Could just slide right in. Make myself at home in your pretty little hole.”

Whoever taught Bucky how to dirty talk needed a fucking medal. Steve propped himself back up on his arms and pushed back on Bucky’s hand as his fingers stretched him. They teased his prostate relentlessly. Steve whined loudly. It wasn’t enough. 

“Such a hungry, greedy little hole,” Bucky said, looking up at him. The bastard smirked at Steve’s flushed face, his mouth parted slightly and breathing short, ragged breaths. “Think you could come like this? Just from my fingers?”

Steve moaned and Bucky pressed a third finger into him. Then Bucky Bit his ass hard enough to make Steve yelp. 

“No baby doll, can’t have that,” Bucky said. “Wanna feel your hot, pretty hole stretched around my big dick.”

Steve ignored him and wrapped a hand around his aching cock. He moaned at the relief, even as Bucky bit the other side of his ass. He needed this, he needed to come. Bucky swatted his hand away and wrapped his other hand around Steve’s length. Bucky was moaning and grunting as Thor prepped him and Steve began to lose himself in the sounds, the feelings of Bucky’s hands and fingers filling him with intense pleasure. His entire body was a live wire. Steve started feeling floaty and warm. He let that feeling carry him up and up and up until the only thing he knew was safety and comfort and bliss.

* * *

Bucky would never get tired of listening to Steve moan his name. Or Thor’s name. The sound of his debauched, desperate voice did things to him. Wonderful, wicked things. Steve’s moans should really be illegal. 

Speaking of things that should be illegal, Steve’s ass was impossibly hot and while not as tight as it was when they had sex a couple days ago, it was still tighter than Bucky expected. He had to stop remind himself constantly that he couldn’t just line his cock up to his hole and slide on in. Even if the thought of fucking and getting fucked simultaneously was nearly enough to make him cum by itself. 

As if readying his mind, Thor pressed a third finger up to Bucky’s ass and pressed in. Bucky hissed at the stretch that burned in the most amazing way. 

“Fuck sweetheart, not gonna last at this rate,” he hissed. 

Thor shifted so that he was over his body and licked his way up Bucky’s spine. Bucky shivered until Thor captured his mouth in a fiery, passionate kiss. Thor hummed into Bucky’s mouth, moving his other hand to wrap gently around Bucky’s throat. Bucky gasped into the kiss. Thor didn’t apply any pressure, just angled Bucky’s face to give him leverage. It excited Bucky.

“I think that our dear Steve would be rather put out if you came too soon,” Thor murmured against Bucky’s lips. “He will not appreciate being deprived of the best part.”

“Speaking of which,” Bucky said with a smirk. “You ready, doll? Gonna make you feel so good.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He just hummed. It wasn’t Steve’s usual moan during sex where he was desperate and wanting and a little demanding and needy. It was… calm. Aroused, yes, but calm. Bucky rolled him over. Steve didn’t fight him at all, but slowly wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist. His eyes were like he was high or something and his face was the most uninhibited look of bliss and adoration Bucky had ever seen. But Steve definitely looked like he had smoked an entire bowl of weed. 

“Thor, something’s up with Stevie,” Bucky said. “Something’s wrong.”

Thor shifted to look down at Steve. Bucky looked at him. Thor’s brows were furrowed with thought. Thor didn’t seem worried, though, just fascinated. 

“What do we do?”

“Steve, are you good?” Thor asked. Steve hummed with the most contented sound Bucky had ever heard from him. “He sounds good, I’ve never heard him like this, though.”

Thor simply pulled his fingers out of Bucky’s ass, leaned down next to Steve, and began to kiss and suck on his neck. Steve’s eyes became lidded and his mouth parted in a silent moan. His body automatically adjusted to give Thor better access to his neck. Thor came off him. 

“I love you, _älskling_ ,” he murmured in Steve’s ear. “You are so beautiful. So perfect for us.”

Steve preened, _preened_ , at Thor’s words. 

“Love, can you sit up for us?” 

Steve complied. His body moved at languid pace. Thor took his arms and wrapped them around Bucky’s neck. Up close, Steve still looked blissful, but rather than be boneless and limp, he clung to Bucky’s neck like Bucky was the only thing in the world that mattered. 

“I believe he is in subspace,” Thor said. “I have read of it, but never seen it. It is more common during BDSM scenes. It takes a great deal of trust to let go so completely.”

“Should we stop?” 

“He is fine, better than fine, probably,” Thor replied, tossing him the lube. “We will simply have to take care that we do not overwhelm him.”

Bucky hesitated for a moment, but withdrew his fingers from Steve’s ass. Steve whined softly.

“Shh, baby,” Bucky whispered. “You’re gonna feel so good soon.”

Bucky lubed up his cock a bit more generously than he would normally and pressed the head to Steve’s hole. Steve whined softly when Bucky pressed it. If anything, Steve looked more blissed out than ever before. Bucky bottomed out and moaned. Steve was tight and hot and pliant. Bucky pressed a kiss to his smaller lover. Steve didn’t even need any persuasion before he opened his mouth and yielded to Bucky’s tongue. 

“God baby, you’re so fucking perfect,” Bucky whispered into his mouth. “God, I love you so much.”

Steve closed his eyes and preened the same way he did for Thor. Thor kissed him deeply for a moment as Bucky gave Steve time to adjust. Thor grabbed the lube and slicked himself up as well. Bucky laid Steve down and laid over him as Thor pressed the head of his thick length to Bucky’s hole and pressed inside. 

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky swore. He buried his face in Steve’s shoulder and started to suck as Thor filled him. Steve moaned softly. Somehow the idea of marking Steve when he was this pliant was even more satisfying than when he was… well, normal. Steve trusted Bucky. Trusted both of them enough to let go and there was something unbelievably hot about that. 

“You may simply call me Thor.”

“Fuck you,” Bucky groaned. 

“You have it backwards, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor murmured against the shell of his ear. He nipped the lobe and pulled gently. Bucky groaned. “I will make love to you while you make love to Steve. Or perhaps I should do nothing but worship you with my body while you fuck yourself on my cock.”

Bucky moaned. 

“You like that, do you not?” Thor murmured. He pulled out of Bucky’s ass “Do it.”

Bucky’s hands fell to Steve’s hips and pulled out. He groaned and threw his head back as Thor’s cock filled him completely. Thor captured his mouth in a passionate kiss and wrapped his strong arms around Bucky’s body. His hands roamed over Bucky’s chest, teasing and pinching his nipples. Bucky snapped his hips forward and Steve grunted softly. Bucky fell into a beautiful rhythm of filing and being filled and fuck if it wasn’t the most incredible thing he ever felt. 

Thor didn’t move a muscle except for his hands. His arms held him like he was the only thing from keeping Bucky from falling apart, from combusting from how hot it all was. Steve didn’t move, either, his hands resting on Bucky’s biceps. Bucky felt like the clay in Thor’s arms. There was nothing to do but to move his hips. 

Thor pulled his hair and exposed Bucky’s neck. Bucky moaned and screwed his eyes shut, letting himself just feel. Thor growled as he sucked on Bucky’s neck. Bucky angled his head back and their kiss was hot, open, and sloppy. Bucky could feel himself getting close. He wrapped a hand around Steve’s cock. It only took a few tugs before Steve came all over Bucky’s hand with a soft whine and a look of euphoria now mingled with contentment and satisfaction. His ass tightened around Bucky’s cock. 

“Fuck baby,” Bucky hissed and bent over Steve’s body, wrapping his arms around him. “Fuck Stevie, you’re so beautiful, so perfect. I love you, doll. Fuck, I love you so much.”

Bucky grunted into Steve’s ear as he came, shooting his load into Steve’s ass. Steve hummed as Bucky held him close, peppering his face with passionate kisses. Before Bucky even had a chance of pulling out of Steve, Thor was thrusting fast and hard into Bucky’s ass. In the aftermath of Bucky’s orgasm, it felt amazing, the pleasure so overwhelming it hurt.

“Thor, Jesus, don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop,” Bucky chanted. Thor bent over Bucky and seized a fistful of his hair and tugged. If Bucky hadn’t just come, he would have been hard instantly. Still, his refractory period seemed to be a bit on board because his cock twitched with interest inside Steve. 

Thor began growling something in Swedish and somewhere in the back of Bucky’s mind, he mused that he should learn the language while they were in Europe. The rest of him just braced himself so he wouldn’t crush Steve and took everything Thor gave him. Thor grunted and groaned as he came. Bucky moaned as he felt his cock pulsing, filling him up with thick ropes of hot come. He panted against Steve’s ear. Thor stilled and kissed Bucky’s head, his shoulder, his back gently as he pulled out. Bucky whined and pulled himself out of Steve, who still had that look of bliss on his face, and collapsed next to him. Thor went and fetched something to clean themselves and collapsed on the other side of Steve.

“What do we do about him?” Bucky asked. “Will he come down on his own?”

Thor hummed and took Steve’s hand in his. “ _Älskling_ , we’re done, it’s over,” Thor murmured. “It is time to come back, love. You were amazing for us. You were so good. We love you.”

It took a few minutes of that before Steve came back with a deep, slow breath and a sigh. Steve rolled over and wrapped his arms around Thor and stretched his legs luxuriously. 

“How do you feel, doll?” 

“That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt,” Steve murmured happily, turning around and wrapping his arms around Bucky’s neck. “It was like I was floating, but still here and everything I felt just felt a million times better.”

“What do you need?” Thor asked. “Do you require food? Drink?”

“I’m a little thirsty,” Steve said. “And I could eat something.”

“Anything else?”

Steve shivered. “Feel cold. It’s weird.”

Thor got up and rummaged around in his closet until he found one of his hoodies. He also produced some underwear and pajamas in Steve’s size. He crawled back on the bed and helped Steve into the clothes. The sight of Steve swimming in Thor’s jacket was possibly the most adorable thing Bucky had ever seen.

“Better?” 

Steve nodded. 

“Good, I will go get something to drink, all right?” Thor said, kissing Steve’s temple. “I will be back soon.”

Thor threw on a pair of sweatpants and left. Steve wrapped himself around Bucky’s body and nuzzled closer. “What happened?” he asked after a moment. “It was awesome and incredible, but what was it?”

“Thor says that you went into subspace,” Bucky said. “That it happens when a bottom has intense feelings and the brain sends lots of happy chemicals and shit to the rest of the body.”

“Huh. Wow.”

They were quiet for a few moments. Bucky held Steve in his arms while they waited for Thor to return. A few minutes later, Thor returned with a bottle of orange juice and a bowl of fruit cut into pieces. He set the bowl on the nightstand and filled one of the classes with orange juice. 

“ _Älskling_ , can you sit up for me?” Thor asked. Steve sighed and shifted so that he was sitting against the headboard. “Slowly, love.”

Steve post subspace was amazingly compliant and lacked his usual sass. He simply took the glass and sipped it. Thor set the fruit bowl in Steve’s lap as well as some of the chocolate. He broke off a piece and held it up to Steve’s mouth. Steve moaned as Thor fed him the candy. Strangely, Bucky found the sight of Thor feeding Steve like this both cute and arousing. Bucky helped himself to some of the fruit in the bowl, but left most of for Thor to feed to Steve. 

“This is nice,” Steve mumbled once he had drained his glass. Thor took it and set it back on the nightstand. Steve leaned his head on Thor’s shoulder and took one of Bucky’s hands and laced their fingers together. He closed his eyes, a happy, contented smile on his face. “Happy Beltane, guys.”

“Happy Beltane, my loves,” Thor murmured. Bucky smiled as Steve drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! <3
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense!


	64. 10 of Cups (Harmony, Family)

Steve woke up a few hours later with a lingering feeling of euphoria. He was still feeling a bit lethargic in the aftermath of whatever had happened to him. Subspace, Thor called it. Steve was able to do some research on it, but most of the sites that talked about it were related to BDSM. The concept of subdrop worried him a little, but seeing as the only thing that he was suffering from was fatigue, he figured he would be fine as long as he had Bucky and Thor by his side. 

Eventually the three of them made their way down to the living room where Thor turned on a rugby game. Germany vs. Romania. Steve honestly didn’t pay too much attention to the game, even though Thor and Bucky got really into it. He settled himself in on Thor’s lap with his legs stretching out over Bucky’s while he drifted in and out of sleep. Every now and then, Thor would wake him up with some water or a snack or something and Steve would stay up with them and watch the game before dozing off again. It wasn’t until after dark that the rest of Thor’s family (and Tony) came back inside that Steve finally started feeling awake enough for normal human interaction. 

“And here I thought you guys were busy getting some,” Tony chastised, throwing himself on the couch. “But you’re just sitting here watching sports like old people.”

“Who says we did not?” Thor asked. Steve smiled as he felt Thor’s voice rumbling in his chest.

“Oh you did! What’s wrong with the good captain, then?” Tony asked. “He looks out of it. You guys didn’t wipe him out, did you?”

Steve turned to scowl at Tony. “I’m fine, Tony. Mind your own business.”

“I’m just making sure you’re all good, Cap,” he replied. “Must have been really great, whatever it was. You guys have been inside all afternoon.”

“That’s enough of that, Tony Stark,” Frigga said sharply. “It’s none of your business why they were inside.”

Tony looked like he was going to keep talking before he caught wind of Frigga’s raised eyebrow. He shut his mouth and ducked out of the room to find Loki. Steve chuckled to himself and felt immensely relieved that Tony’s prodding was done and that Frigga did not seem at all curious about why they hadn’t reemerged.

“You boys want any dinner?” she asked instead. “Mrs. Bianchi says it’s ready for anyone who’s interested.”

Thor and Bucky looked at Steve. Steve responded by stretching his legs and getting up and off Thor’s lap. He stretched his entire body, to Frigga’s amusement, and sighed as he started walking towards the dining room. Dinner, apparently, was a plate of vegetarian spring rolls and big piping bowls of some kind of Vietnamese soup called pho that turned out to be God’s gift to humanity. 

Somehow the soup made him feel instantly better. It filled him with a warm feeling. Steve decided that he would be absolutely content just drinking the broth. 

“So Steve, did you enjoy your Beltane festivities?” Loki asked. 

“Really, Loki, this is hardly appropriate conversation for the dinner table,” Odin chastised. 

“What? It’s not as if the entire day isn’t a fertility holiday,” Loki replied. 

“Doesn’t mean we have to be as open about it as you are,” Steve replied. “Honestly, you’re as nosy as Tony.”

“Anyway, where’s Mr. Baker?” Thor asked. “I have not seen him all day.”

“I think he’s with mom,” Steve replied. “They’re probably on a date or something.”

“All day?”

“Why not?” Steve asked. “It’s not like they couldn’t spend an entire day together if they wanted to, Thor.”

“I did not say that they could not,” Thor replied. “I am merely surprised that they would.”

“Well, if they ever got married or something they would presumably spend lots of days together,” Steve said. The entire table got quiet at that.

“Steven Rogers,” Frigga said with a smile. “Is there something you wish to share with the rest of us?”

Steve looked around at the people around the table, all wearing expressions with varying degrees of surprise and happiness. Obviously, that fact was not something Bertie had shared with many people. _Well, cat’s out of the bag, now,_ Steve thought.

“Bertie’s planning on proposing,” Steve said. “I don’t know any more than that.”

Odin chuckled. “Good man, good man.”

“We must have a celebration if she says yes,” Frigga said. “Do you think your mother would mind, dear?”

“I’m pretty sure she’d be delighted,” Steve said.

* * *

The next morning, Steve woke feeling more like his usual self. The faint feeling of euphoria was still there, but it was mostly at the back of his mind, now. Part of him missed it. Part of him also liked being more like himself again. It was nearly noon, if the way the sunlight filtered through the curtains was any indication. Steve stretched out and chuckled when Thor rolled over to wrap his arms around him. For such a big man, he spent nearly as much time being the little spoon as he did the big spoon. It was cute with Bucky. Honestly, it would be endearing if Steve didn’t have to piss. 

Steve managed to extract himself from Thor’s arms and climbed off the bed. Once his business was done, he found that he felt much less tired than he did yesterday. Maybe the lethargy was a one day thing after that amazing subspace sex stuff. Or maybe Steve had gone into subdrop shortly after he came down or something. Whatever it was, it hadn’t been that bad, though it would have been much worse without his boyfriends. 

Steve hummed to himself while he got dressed. As soon as he left the room he heard excited chatting from downstairs, which was unusual considering that the house was adjusted to make it so sound didn’t carry as much. Which meant that people must be excited. Halfway down the stairs he heard his mother’s voice. He hurried up and rushed towards the living room where Frigga, Mrs. Bianchi, Bertie, Odin, and Steve’s mom were huddled around. His mom had a hand on Bertie’s shoulder. Her left hand, which had what looked like a vintage white gold ring inlaid with a large, round sapphire surrounded by smaller diamonds. She was smiling. 

Steve smiled to himself and tried to duck out and let them have their moment before his mom spotted him and waved him over. He smiled and went over. The hug she met him with was fierce enough to crush the air out of his lungs. 

“You’re getting married?” he asked. 

“Yes! Steve, oh my God, Steve he asked me to marry him last night!” she gushed. “Are you… are you okay with it?”

“Mom, I was the one who gave him the go ahead,” Steve said. “I’m fine. He makes you happy. That’s all that’s important.”

“You’re a good son, Steve,” she said. “I love you so much. No matter how much I love Bertie, it’ll never change that.”

Steve swallowed and smiled. “Thanks mom,” he said. He pulled her into a hug again. He really was happy for her. Bertie was a good man. 

Frigga apparently was not incapable of throwing together a celebration in a day. It was made somewhat easier by the fact that Steve’s mom didn’t “need anything fancy.” Thor and Bucky each offered their congratulations when they eventually emerged from the room. Tony, with all his usual tact, cheered and told Bertie to “get some.” It earned a swat from Frigga, Bertie, Thor, and Loki. 

The day was similar in some respects to Beltane, but with less magic and ritual. And it was more similar to normal family stuff, or what Steve figured normal family stuff was like. There were board games and Mrs. Bianchi fired up the grill for a barbecue. Bertie destroyed them all at Settlers of Catan, Tony won a round of Cards Against Humanity, and Bucky won Monopoly.

“You’re sleeping on the couch tonight, sugar,” Steve growled.

“That’s fine, I’ll just stay here with Thor,” Bucky replied. Thor moved away and hooked his arm around Steve’s waist. 

“My couches are certainly more comfortable, it is true,” he said. 

“What about the spare room?” Bucky asked, punching Thor’s shoulder.

“Mr. Baker, please ensure that Bucky sleeps on the couch tonight,” Thor said.

“Yes sir.”

“You guys are sore losers,” Bucky muttered.

* * *

That night they were gathered around the campfire making s’mores. Steve had had them, like in elementary school. But these were different. These were made with some of that amazing, authentic Swiss chocolate that was apparently impossible to find in America, but really common in Europe. No one was really concerned about school in the morning. It was the last week of the year. Thor and Steve were graduating on Saturday and since Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were all set aside for finals, which Steve and Thor didn’t have to take since they had all A’s, Monday and Tuesday were the only days they had to go in. 

“Wanna play hookie one last time?” Steve asked. The parents, including Bertie, all gave Steve and Thor a look. “What? It’s not like we’re going to do anything important.”

“I don’t mind you playing hookie, son,” his mother said. “Just don’t announce it to me. Plausible deniability, you know?” 

“I don’t really see how that would be helpful,” Steve said. “Bertie is the one who picked us up the first time.”

“And the second time?”

“We didn’t go at all,” he said. 

“Why is that?”

Steve blushed and looked away. 

“Never mind,” she said. “I don’t want to know.”

“Aside from which,” Bertie said. “I do believe that as Steve’s soon to be stepfather, it would be inappropriate of me to help him skip school.”

Steve groaned in defeat. It was worth a shot.

“Anyway, Bertie,” Steve said. “Are you coming with us to Sweden or are you staying here for the summer?”

“I am employed to keep the house here in working order, Steve,” he replied. “They have another butler and staff who reside in Sweden taking care of the estate there.”

“So mom will have someone here to keep her company while I’m gone?” Steve asked. Bertie nodded with a faint smile. “Good. I’m glad.”

About an hour later, despite Steve’s grumblings about it not being a big deal if he skipped school tomorrow, he was heading back to his apartment with his mom and Bertie. The two of them were already discussing wedding plans, who they would invite, where they would have the wedding, and other basic minutiae that planning a wedding entailed. Steve was so glad that he didn’t have to think about any of that stuff yet. He could, he supposed, but honestly he was too young and his boyfriends were too young. It was enough of a headache planning their adventures across Europe, honestly. 

Steve immediately agreed to walk his mom down the aisle. He figured that he would be part of the wedding itself, anyway, so it wasn’t that hard. Also, this was his mom. She hadn’t talked to her family in years. He was the only person she would ever consider walking her down the aisle and that little tidbit made him both incredibly happy and a little sad. She was also already thinking about having Bucky’s aunts cater the wedding. It was so much so fast it was honestly making Steve a little dizzy. 

When they got back to the apartment, Bertie put a tea kettle on to boil and sat down with Steve’s mom in the living room. She rested her head on his shoulder while they watched some kind of British tv show about some guy who never shut up and somehow traveled through space in a blue police box. It seemed like an extremely British way to spend an evening. After a couple episodes, Steve actually found that he liked the show (Doctor Who, Bertie called it). 

Eventually, after his mother had finished her evening tea and they were heading off to bed, Steve finally worked up the courage to ask Bertie the thing that had been on his mind all day.

“Um, Bertie,” he said. 

“Yes Steve?” he asked. 

“So, I know you said that I could call you that, but…” 

Bertie waited for a moment. “But what?”

Steve sighed and chuckled nervously. “Sorry.”

“It’s quite all right, Steve,” Bertie said. “Take your time.”

By now his mom was looking at him with interest while she was going through her routine of taking her makeup off and getting out whatever book she was working on and opening up to the chapter she was reading. She had put the book down to listen to what they were talking about. 

Steve swallowed. “Do you mind if I call you… dad?” he said. His voice quivered at the word he hadn’t actually used to describe someone in so many years. But he wanted it. 

Bertie stood and wrapped his arms around Steve. “Of course not… son.”

Steve laughed and started to cry. His mom came around behind him and the three of them, Steve’s family, held each other.

“Welcome to the family… dad.”

His dad chuckled. “Thank you, son,” he said in a strained voice. “It’s good to be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! (Also, yes, in case anyone here hasn't tried pho, it is indeed the gods' gift to humanity and all y'all should experience it)
> 
> Guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, next week is THE LAST WEEK that this story will be updated. I am both happy and sad and super excited to bring this story to a close, but I honestly can't believe it!
> 
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	65. Wheel of Fortune (Change, New Life Cycles, Destiny)

Steve hardly slept a wink the night before graduation. It was something he had been looking forward to for years and back when his anxiety was still crippling and he had difficulty leaving the apartment more often than not, there had been times when he thought it would never happen. But here he was, out of high school at last and about to walk across the stage to get his high school diploma. It was almost enough to make him worry about falling on his face. 

So the morning of graduation arrived with Steve hastily getting dressed in a blue polo shirt and khaki pants. He was infinitely glad that he wasn’t a woman and that his graduation robe thingy would be blue and not white. The women had to make sure that whatever they wore wouldn’t show through the ever so slightly translucent fabric. All Steve had to do was make sure he wore clothing. 

Steve was ready to go a good hour before they had to leave to get to the school. He emerged from his room to find his dad at the stove putting a kettle on. The man smiled at Steve as he approached. 

“Morning, dad,” Steve yawned. His dad chuckled.

“I take it you didn’t sleep well, son,” he said. His eyes crinkled at the word. Steve shook his head. “Well, nothing some good old fashioned English tea can’t fix. Are you hungry?”

“Not really, honestly,” Steve replied. “Too nervous.”

“You should eat something, dear,” his mom said as she walked into the kitchen. “At least have some toast or something.”

Steve would be lying if he said that it didn’t take some getting used to, but he liked it. Having a father, a family. An actual father, not a drunk who donated half his DNA. Since the engagement, Bertie had started moving into the apartment, though there was talk of finding a new one that was a little larger where three people could live comfortably. Steve insisted that there was no real need since he was leaving for Sweden in a week. Or he tried anyway. 

The three of them munched on breakfast in companionable silence and after Steve’s second cup of tea he was starting to feel like a functional human being again. It would be easy, right? Stand in line, sit in a seat, listen to people give speeches, hear the administration say some bullshit about how wonderful and successful their graduates would be, walk across the stage, cheers, applause, take pictures, and then it would be done. There was nothing to be nervous about. Steve was ready.

* * *

He didn’t trip. That was the important thing. And neither he nor Thor punched Mr. Fredrickson when they accepted their diploma, even if Steve had plastered the fakest smile he had ever made onto his face. And just like that, it was all over. Well, the ceremony was over, anyway. 

As soon as Thor and Steve found each other and their families, their parents subjected them to round after round of pictures. Pictures of just them, pictures of Thor and Steve, pictures of Steve and Bucky, of Bucky and Thor, of the three of them, pictures with friends, pictures with football teammates, pictures with teachers (mostly Ms. Foster), pictures with family, and finally, one giant group picture. By the end of it all, Steve’s cheeks felt like they would just fall of his face. 

“Are we done?” Steve asked. “I swear if someone blinked I’m killing them.”

“No need to be so dramatic, Steve,” Loki teased. 

“Yes, dear. We’re done now,” Frigga said. “We’re all so proud of you both, you must forgive us parents.”

“Besides, you don’t want to deprive your dad of this moment, do you?” his mom asked. “This is, after all, the first major life even he’s had for a child.”

_Gee, mom, thanks for the guilt_ , he thought. He acquiesced to a few more pictures before he they were finally done. 

“Great, I’m starving,” he declared. 

“About that,” Thor said, pulling his graduation gown over his head. “There has been a change in plans.”

“What? What kind of change?” Steve demanded. 

“Yeah, I was gonna actually cook for you guys,” Bucky grumbled. “This better be good.”

Thor grinned.

* * *

“Thor,” Steve said with a grin as they approached the stadium. “Have I mentioned lately that I love you?”

Thor grinned as he saw the light and joy in Steve’s eyes. Bucky looked like a kid in the candy store and he was practically bouncing in his seat when he realized where they were going. Now Bucky was practically pulling them through the gates since they had their tickets. 

“Probably recently,” Thor replied. “But it certainly never hurts to be sure.”

“I love you, babe,” Steve said. 

“And I you, _älskling_ ,” Thor replied.

“Would you two shut up?” Bucky asked. “We’re almost to our seats! Hurry up!”

“Buck, the game doesn’t start for another half hour,” Steve chuckled. “We’ll be fine.”

“Stevie, this is my first time at the Mets,” Bucky said without slowing down. “I’m allowed to be fucking excited.”

“You do realize that this is Thor and mine’s graduation celebration, right?” 

“In fairness, love, you were nearly the same way the first time we came to see a game back in September,” Thor said. 

“I wasn’t pulling your arm out of your socket,” Steve grumbled good naturedly. 

It was very nearly in the same place as last time, but this time everyone else was there. Surprisingly, even Odin seemed like he was enjoying himself, though Steve had it on good authority that he only knew the very basics of the game. It didn’t matter. His mom had even brought what Steve had deemed his lucky glove (the glove he caught the foul ball in). 

If Steve didn’t completely understand Bucky’s delight and joy for actually being at the Mets stadium, he would have been a bit annoyed that Bucky hardly paid any attention to him. As it was, it was a good day to watch the Mets. It was warm, the sun was shining, and the Mets were winning. By the top of the fifth inning, they were ahead by 3 points. 

“Stevie, if we weren’t going to Sweden next week, I’d probably try to get Thor to do this for us like every week,” Bucky said during some cheesy event while the teams were switching out. “Think about it! We could be those people who see like, every home game! Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

“Too bad we already said that we were going to go to Sweden for foreseeable future,” Steve replied. “Maybe next summer.”

“I am beginning to think you are only interested in me for my money,” Thor grumbled with a grin. 

“Well, it definitely makes aspects of our relationship fun,” Bucky replied. “Honestly, last minute tickets for like 15 people would be impossible for literally everyone else.”

“There is that, I suppose,” Thor admitted. He turned his attention back to the game.

“Hey,” Bucky said. Thor turned to him and Steve smiled as Bucky kissed him gently. It was sweet and chaste and though Thor hid it well, Steve could tell that it did make him feel better. 

“I really do appreciate you doing this for us,” Bucky said. “Thank you.”

Thor smiled and kissed Bucky again. “Thank you. You are welcome. I am glad that you are enjoying yourselves.”

At that point the opposing team, the Pittsburg Pirates, managed to hit the ball and their attention turned back to the game in time to see the offending player land on first base safely. _It’s all right_ , Steve thought. _It’s only one guy, it’ll be fine._

It was not fine. The Pirates seemed to hit their stride after trailing behind the Mets the entire game. That inning they scored twice and when the Mets came to bat, the amount of time it took them to get three outs was embarrassingly short. Steve liked to think that his faith in his team was unshakeable, but damn, they were doing their damnedest to test it right now. Thankfully, the Mets seemed to break out of whatever funk they were in by the top of the seventh inning and Steve started to relax again. 

“Is this what I look like when Germany is in a tight spot?” Thor asked Frigga.

“Dear, you’re even worse than they are!” she replied. “I worry sometimes that you will succumb to despair when they lose.”

“Or at least use up literally all of the hot water,” Loki joked, poking at Thor. “Honestly, the best way to know that Thor’s been brooding is getting into the shower and the water being ice cold.”

“Oh, poor baby,” Bucky teased. “Can’t handle a little cold water?”

“I have the privilege of having access to superior water heating,” Loki declared. “I shouldn’t have to endure cold water for any length of time.”

“Ironically, winter is his favorite time of year because he loves the cold,” Thor chuckled. 

The inning ended and the teams went to switch places when the announcer declared that it was time for the cheesiest entertainment device in sports ever conceived: Kiss Cam. The entire stadium cheered as couples kissed. It was all fairly benign and Steve was inclined to ignore it and wait for the game to resume… until Thor’s face appeared on the screen with Steve and Bucky on either side. 

Steve’s heart immediately tried to jump out of his chest and his face went completely red in the span of half a second. Thor, infuriatingly, turned to kiss Bucky without the slightest hesitation and Bucky seemed to have as few qualms with it as Thor, Steve looked at the screen and then turned to Thor… just in time for Thor to kiss him. There may have been cheers and whistles and maybe even a few boos, but Steve didn’t have the presence of mind to concentrate on anything but the fact that Thor was kissing him for the whole of Citi Stadium to watch. When Thor came off, Steve had another half second to think before Bucky was leaning across Thor and kissing him, too. Steve squeaked before he smiled.

“Well now,” Loki purred with that Cheshire cat grin. “What are the chances that that little display will go viral?”

“Viral? Display?” Steve asked with only mild panic.

“The kiss cam caught the whole thing, my friend,” Loki informed him. “You three were quite the sensation, it seems. People couldn’t get enough of it.”

Steve looked around. There were spectators who grinned suggestively and gave him a thumbs up or a nod or some other sign of approval. Thor took his hand and started rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. Steve looked back at him and smiled appreciatively and lay his head on Thor’s shoulder as he returned his attention to the game. The Mets were up by two points now and since it was the top of the eighth inning, they really just had to maintain their lead and they would be in the clear. 

“Are you bothered by what we did for the kiss cam?” Thor asked. 

“No, I was… I was just surprised, you know?”

“I am glad,” Thor replied. “I must admit that I enjoyed kissing you both in that fashion.”

“It was kinda exciting, wasn’t it?”

Thor chuckled. “Indeed.”

“Would you… be willing to do it again?” Steve asked. Thor chuckled and kissed the top of Steve’s head. 

“Älskling, if you wish it of me, I would shout my love for you from the rooftops of every town we visited in Europe,” Thor replied. 

“Maybe not every town,” Steve said. “But… thanks.”

“I love you, Steve,” Thor murmured.

Their fingers laced together and they turned their attention back to the game. It was a beautiful night, not dissimilar to the night they had gone to that first baseball game all those months ago. And at the same time, it was completely different. Steve smiled to himself at the thought. He wouldn’t change anything.

* * *

A week later Steve was hugging his mom as she gave a tearful goodbye in the airport. Steve was crying a bit as well. Somehow conceiving the idea of leaving to spend months in Europe was much easier than actually having to leave and get on a plane. Bertie was a bit teary eyed himself, but he managed to keep it together for both their sakes. 

“I’ll Skype you, okay?” Steve said. “Every week so you know I’m okay.”

“Thank you,” she said. “But you sure as hell better have fun while you’re gone! If you ever call me and tell me you’re bored, I’m going to tell you every disgusting detail about my job that you never, ever want to hear.”

Steve chuckled in spite of himself. “Okay, okay, I’ll make sure to enjoy myself.”

“And just… remember to keep your passport on you, okay?” she said. “And remember to be courteous of other guests when you’re staying in hostels. And don’t forget to pack light when you’re traveling.”

“Yes, I know, I know,” Steve sighed. “Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m gonna be all on my own, mom. I’ve got Thor and Bucky with me. We’ll be fine.”

“I know. I’m your mom, I can’t help it,” she said. Bertie handed her a handkerchief and she dried her eyes. “Let us know when you land, even if it’s late.”

“You got it, mom,” he replied. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, dear,” she said. She kissed his cheek one last time. “Now go. You don’t want to miss your flight.”

She turned to Thor and Bucky, who seemed to have finished saying goodbye to his aunts. “You two take care of him while you’re having fun, you hear me?” she said. She sounded like she was trying to be intimidating, but her voice shook with the effort of holding back tears. “If you hurt him, I swear I will fly across the world to make the two of you pay.”

“You have my word, ma’am, we will do our utmost to ensure that Steve is hale and hearty,” Thor promised. 

“What he said,” Bucky said. 

“You boys have fun,” she said. Steve pulled himself together and with one last wave goodbye, he picked up his suitcase and carryon bag and headed through the gate to start the infamously lengthy boarding process. 

Thor walked him and Bucky through the whole process from luggage to the metal detector. It was mostly just standing in line for hours on end. They ended up getting to their terminal about an hour and a half before the flight was due to leave. For his first time flying, so far it was mostly boring. 

“Is it always like this?” Steve asked. 

“Flying? Yes,” Thor replied. “Traveling in Europe is less stressful. There is less fuss since so many people travel so much.”

“It’s not that I mind it, it’s just not quite what I was expecting,” Steve said. 

“Definitely more waiting around than I was expecting,” Bucky said. “And I haven’t seen one tearful reunion or confrontation or confession of love yet! Disappointing.”

“I did not peg you to be interested in romantic comedies,” Thor said with a grin. “You and mother would get along swimmingly during the flight. There are 8 hours’ worth of time between here and Stockholm.”

“You makin’ fun of me, sweetheart?” 

“I would never, _mitt hjärta_ ,” Thor replied with a wink. “But I shall never tire of teasing you.”

Steve rolled his eyes at their antics and settled in to wait for their flight to start boarding. At least it would be comfortable. He didn’t want to think about how much 6 first class tickets to Stockholm had cost. Steve took out his sketchbook from his carryon and began to draw. It was nothing fancy, just something to distract himself and calm his mind. 

It was a profile of Bucky’s face, angled slightly so that it looked like he was staring off to Steve’s right. Steve had wanted to practice getting the angles right and Bucky had a beautifully angular face. From this angle, the hair that was approaching shoulder length framed his face nicely. 

“If this is how you see me,” Bucky said, breaking through Steve’s artistic reverie. “I’d love to see how you see Thor.”

Steve sighed and dug around in his carryon bag for his other sketchbook. It was nearly full, but it had a lot of his older sketches from earlier in the year. Some of them had been scanned and submitted for the portfolio assignment, including one sketch of Thor. Steve flipped through the sketchbook until he found the picture he was thinking of and showed it to Bucky. Bucky was quiet for a few minutes. 

“You know, Steve,” he said. “I don’t get to see your sketches that much, but this is seriously impressive stuff.”

Steve smiled. “Thanks, but that’s actually from the beginning of the year,” he said. “Before me and Thor started dating, actually.”

“Really?” Bucky asked. “Has he seen it?”

Steve shook his head and tapped Thor on the shoulder. Thor took his earbuds out and looked at what Steve was showing him. He raised his eyebrows and looked at Steve.

“When did you draw this, _älskling_?” 

“First week of school,” Steve replied. “Seems like forever ago, doesn’t it?”

“Indeed,” Thor murmured. “Is this really how I appear to you?”

Steve’s heart sank. “You don’t like it?”

“No, _älskling_ I did not mean it like that,” Thor said hastily. “It is merely, I am taken aback that you see me so… gentle.”

“You are gentle, babe,” Steve said. “You’ve always been gentle with me. It’s why I love you.”

_One confession of love_ , Steve thought, though he suspected that it wasn’t exactly what Bucky had meant. 

“I am honored, my love,” Thor said. He pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead. At that moment, the stewardess announced that first class flyers could go ahead and start boarding. Thor got up and held his hands out to his boyfriends and they walked hand in hand to the terminal.

“Ready for the next adventure?” Thor asked. 

“Sure thing, ya sap,” Bucky laughed. Steve was suddenly struck with a sense of déjà vu, but he shrugged it off and grinned. 

“Always,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos give me life, y'all! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense! <3


	66. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, at the end. This has been a hell of a ride, y'all! Thanks for sticking around 'til the end! <3

Steve’s birthday was the most unusual of his life. For one, it started fairly early and Steve knew ahead of time what was happening. Getting a tattoo, after all, wasn’t exactly something he could do as a surprise. Thor and Bucky spent the day with him in the tattoo parlor in Stockholm. Thor had to translate most of what the artist said since Steve’s Swedish was… iffy and her English wasn’t much better. Bucky was there for moral support and because it was Steve’s birthday. 

The tattoo he had designed was being used as a reference with some personal artistic liberties taken. It was a phoenix, bright red and orange with long, slender tail feathers that wound gracefully around Steve’s left pec. It was nearly an all-day affair. Between the actual art and getting up every now and then to stretch his legs, the whole thing took about 6 hours. It didn’t hurt that much. Steve had had shots that were more painful than this, honestly. 

At the end of the session, Steve looked into the mirror and grinned from ear to ear. 

“It’s perfect,” he said. “I love it.”

Thor smiled and relayed his words to the tattoo artist. She smiled in return and said something. Steve caught about every third word, though he couldn’t tell what she was saying beyond that she seemed pleased.

“She said thank you and to come again if you ever want more tattoos,” Thor relayed. 

They left and spent the rest of the day wandering around the streets of Stockholm. It was a beautiful city, full of art and music and history. Nearly every night the three of them went out and found different musical venues. Thor somehow always ended up picking places that were having karaoke. It turned out that none of his friends could sing either but the five of them singing together was the most dreadful cacophony of sounds that Steve and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. 

The Metro honestly put New York’s to shame and Steve could spend all day down there. The entire thing was a giant work of art. The walls and ceilings were decorated. It was all widely diverse, too. Steve was positively green with envy at the thought of people being able to make art like this in the subway. 

What did it say about America that even standing in the Metro made Steve feel more cultured?

For some reason, though, Steve’s favorite part about Stockholm was the boats. Being on or near the water, even cold as it was, was soothing. Thor led them to a restaurant that was situated on the water. It was stunning in the fading light of the evening. Thor bought a bottle of champagne and they toasted. 

“Happy birthday, _älskling_ ,” he said. “I cannot imagine where I would be had I not found you, but there is nothing I would rather have than you by my side. I love you.”

“Happy birthday, doll,” Bucky said. “I used to dream of stuff like this. To actually have you, have this, this is more than I could have ever hoped for.”

Steve blushed and smiled. “I love you guys,” he said. “Seriously, I don’t know what I did to deserve you two. Thank you.”

* * *

Bucky’s insistence on seeing a castle in Germany bordered on childlike enthusiasm. Actually, he wanted to see multiple castles. Steve didn’t understand. They were Europe, for crying out loud! The entire continent went through a phase where building big medieval castles was the thing everyone did if they wanted to show off how wealthy and powerful they were. Also it felt a bit like going to Medieval Times, minus the food and the theatrical fighting between knights. Thor, who apparently had never been to Medieval Times, had been the tiebreaker and the three of them headed out to Germany.

Steve eventually came around when the visited one on an island known as Schwerin Castle. Bucky had to admit that in addition to it being cool that they were going inside an actual castle, it was also beautiful. He could see Steve’s eyes wandering over it, taking in the details and committing them to memory. The artist side of Steve’s brain was starting to come awake at the sight. 

It wasn’t quite the same as what he had expected from a medieval castle but it was beautiful. It was obviously built with rich people living in the lap of luxury in mind rather than to be defensible and imposing. 

“Can you imagine being part of the family living here?” Bucky asked when they came to one of the ornately decorated rooms filled with paintings and portraits. 

“I imagine it was not quite as carefree as you think,” Thor replied with a chuckle. “No one lived in a place like this that wasn’t heavily involved in some kind of political struggle. The backstabbing and scheming alone can be off-putting.”

“Must you ruin all my fantasies?” Bucky grumbled. Leave it to Thor’s love of history to ruin the fun. Still, it was interesting to listen to. Thor going off on the history of whatever famous landmark they came across was endearing. It was similar to the spark in Steve’s eyes when he saw something he wanted to draw. Thor even said that what he wanted to do in America, but never had the time for, was visit the sights of famous battles during the Civil or Revolutionary Wars. 

“If you really want to live your fantasies about medieval life,” Thor said. “We should go to a medieval festival. They have one in Denmark in August. I have never been, however, as I am always back in the States by then.”

Bucky’s face lit up at the mention. “We have to go! Will we have time?”

Thor rolled his eyes and smiled as he wrapped an arm around Bucky’s waist. 

“Of course we can go, mitt hjärta,” he said. “We have all the time in the world.”

_Damn, I can get used to this_ , Bucky thought. He pressed a kiss to Thor’s cheek. He loved this man. He wondered if Thor knew already, or if that was just Bucky seeing his love for Thor reflected back at him in those warm, gorgeous blue eyes. Bucky had realized it a couple weeks ago. He was just waiting for the right moment to tell him. 

For now, he returned his attention to the castle around him and tried to imagine living here. It wasn’t the most ridiculous notion in the world, actually, and if the image in his head was over-romanticized and dreamy, then so be it. What was the point of seeing a castle if not to imagine what it would be like to live there, anyway?

* * *

Thor’s first idea for an excursion was to go hiking in the Swiss Alps. It had seemed a grand idea at first. The open air, clear skies, and warm summer breeze made it a perfect day for hiking. It was also something he rarely got to do because even being the son of a diplomat and being well off, even by Swedish standards, he rarely left the city. Bucky and Steve had also seemed keen on the idea. 

About halfway up the trail overlooking Oeschinen Lake in Kanderstag, Switzerland, Steve was having trouble keeping up. Even though his body had gotten a bit stronger after working out with Thor and Bucky on a regular basis, it was still much weaker than theirs. He simply did not have the build, not that Thor minded. He was cute and beautiful, even so. 

“We can stop for a while if you need to rest, _älskling_ ,” Thor said.

“No, no I-I can keep going,” Steve insisted. His legs wobbled as he stood. 

“Stevie, no one said we have to walk the whole way up the mountain all at once,” Bucky said. “We won’t be cheating if we take a break.”

Steve looked like he was going to protest again before Thor simply slung his backpack off his shoulders and onto the ground and started taking out the picnic supplies they had packed. This was as good a place as any to eat and Steve needed to keep up his strength. Besides, it was just a snack, not the whole meal. He took out an apple and handed it to Steve. Steve sighed and took it before he too fell on the ground.

From where they had sat down, they could look out to a stunning view of the lake. The waters were pristine and cool and as blue as Steve’s eyes. The trees rustled, whispering as the wind blew through the branches. 

“I don’t want you to think that I’m not enjoying this,” Steve said. “I am. It’s beautiful.”

“I know you are, love,” Thor said. He pulled Steve against him and smiled as his lover laid his head on Thor’s shoulder. “I do not want you to think that you need to keep up with us just because we are enjoying ourselves, though. Remember, your mother threatened us if we let anything happen to you.”

Steve chuckled at that. “How long until we get to swim in the lake?” 

“It will be about another 45 minutes before we arrive,” Thor replied. “After that, we can relax by the lakeside or do more hiking, since it seems to agree with you so much.”

Steve replied to that by telling Thor to go fuck himself in Swedish. Thor laughed, a bit of pride mingling with the humor. Steve’s Swedish was getting better. Bucky’s too. They had taken to speaking to each other in Swedish in the evenings and Thor had to admit that he enjoyed teaching them and hearing their stumbling over words. There was less and less of that by the day.

“Come, we are not far,” Thor said as he got up. He helped Steve to his feet.

They managed to make it the rest of the way to the lake. It was populated by young couples and families as well as older couples trying to stay active in their advancing years. Steve and Bucky almost immediately stripped their shirts off and headed off to the lake. Thor caught a glimpse of Steve’s tattoo. It was beautiful and it suited him perfectly. A fiery spirit, dauntless in the face of stacked odds. 

“Hey Thor!” Bucky shouted. “Stop lollygagging and get in here!”

Thor chuckled to himself and threw his shirt off as he ran into the lake to join his lovers.

* * *

Around mid-August, Bucky detoured their journey along the Western edge of the continent to go to Paris. Not that Steve or Thor needed much convincing to visit the world’s most romantic city. They spent the day wandering through the Louvre and seeing the sights. If nothing else could be said about the city, the art was amazing and the food was delicious. 

Paris was going to be on their list eventually, considering that just the art museums alone guaranteed that Steve would have asked to come eventually. Bucky, however, actively kept them away from the main attraction for the whole day. The Eiffel Tower looked even better as it lit up the night sky. Steve got a picture of him kissing each of his boyfriends and they managed to get someone to get a picture of Bucky and Thor kissing Steve’s cheeks. Then it came time for Bucky to kiss Thor and they went to the top of the tower. 

“Thor,” Bucky said as they looked out at the City of Light. 

“What is it, love?” Thor asked. Bucky swallowed and took a deep breath. 

“There’s something I gotta say,” he said. Thor turned to face him. His face looked concerned. Bucky took his hand.

“I love you,” Bucky whispered. Thor didn’t react and for a moment, Bucky wondered if he had heard until Thor’s face shifted from worry to a smile nearly as bright as the whole rest of the city. 

“I love you, too, Bucky.”

They kissed and while their kisses with Steve had been sweet and romantic, this was passionate and hot. Thor bit his lip and Bucky whined as Thor’s tongue entered his mouth. Bucky’s hands wandered up and rested against Thor’s chest. He felt Thor’s heart beating through his shirt. 

“I love you,” Bucky breathed. “God, Thor. I love you so much.”

“Bucky, mitt hjärta, my love,” Thor growled. “We must be going now.”

Bucky’s brain may have stopped working at that. “What?”

Thor just grabbed Bucky’s hand, marched over to Steve, took Steve’s hand, and led them down the tower without a single thought for the people around them. Bucky would have been embarrassed by it if it also wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever seen. Thor hailed a cab and gave some address or other that Bucky couldn’t understand. Thor was uncharacteristically close mouthed about whatever hostel they were staying at. 

But about 20 minutes later, Bucky knew why. It was a hotel. A fancy one. And as much as Bucky liked the experience of roughing it in hostels, most of them didn’t have beds designed for three people. It would be nice to be able to share a bed with both his boyfriends again. They checked in and as soon as they arrived at their room and Thor finished tipping the concierge, Bucky found himself being pushed down onto the biggest, most luxurious cloud he’d ever felt. 

He had all of a second to process this before Thor was on him, pressing passionate, demanding kisses to Bucky’s mouth. Bucky moaned into Thor’s mouth. That night as they made love and the words fell from Bucky’s lips like a prayer with every breath. It was definitely the least restful night they had ever had since they started traveling Europe. It was also the best and they spent the entire day afterwards abusing room service and sleeping.

* * *

Three days in London and the city had yet to have a day that didn’t start grey and dreary. It was not bad, per se, but Thor would have liked to one day visit the city when it was not like this. That was a bit of an unreasonable hope, perhaps. Steve, Thor, and Bucky had spent the past 2 days on their own. As much as they loved each other, they did need breaks from each other periodically. They had actually had an argument the night they arrived. Though they had resolved the relatively minor issue, they had also agreed that they each needed some time to themselves.

Thor had gone to tour historical sites and museums, letting the history of this city, like every other city they had visited so far, seep into his bones. It was fascinating, particularly the history of the monarchy. Sweden had a king as well. King Carl XVI. Sweden’s royal family would probably never be as famous as the British royalty, though. Hell, Queen Elizabeth II was known all over the world. 

Bucky had gone to major tourist spots and returned at the end of the second day raving about how they had to see Stonehenge. Which admittedly was not an unreasonable thing to want to see. Thor had never been and he was pagan! Stonehenge was practically a pilgrimage site. 

Steve had stayed in the first day to Skype his mom and work on some sketches. He seemed taken with the architecture in Europe, particularly medieval and gothic styles. Every now and then he drew people, but for the most part it was landscapes and buildings. 

They had deliberately left the London Eye for their last day in town, though. As they stood in line waiting to get on, Thor was struck by the fact that it was now nearly a full year since they had first met after Thor beat up Gilmore Hodge and his lackeys the first time for a skinny guy who didn’t have the sense to back down. He said as much to Steve.

“That’s insane,” he replied. “Think about how different everything would have been if you had gone in a different direction that first day or something.”

“My life would surely be emptier,” Thor replied. “Though you would have likely ended up with Bucky sooner or later.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Steve said. At that moment they got on the eye and started riding up to look out over the city. Steve moved closer to Thor.

“Why is it that we seem to do so many things so high up?” Steve asked. 

“Relax Stevie,” Bucky said. “Just don’t look down, you’ll be fine.”

Not a couple seconds later, the ride stopped to let other passengers off and they stood suspended, looking down at the city beneath them. Thor schooled his face into some semblance of neutrality as he watched Steve squirm.

“Don’t look down, he said,” Steve grumbled. “There’s not much else to look at that isn’t down.”

Bucky chuckled. “Don’t worry, doll, I’ll make it up to you later.”

“You’d better,” Steve replied.

* * *

September 16th arrived with Steve, Bucky, and Thor arriving at the New York City airport around 6:00. It was the first time they had used a plane to get anywhere since they had gone to Sweden at the start of the summer break. Steve found that he much preferred first class rather than coach. It was easier to get some shuteye in first class. 

To his surprise, his parents were waiting for him with bright smiles and looking happy. Bucky’s aunts weren’t there, considering that 6:00 was prime dinner time. Bucky planned on going to restaurant to catch up with them, anyway. Actually, all three of them were going their separate ways today. Thor and Steve’s year anniversary was tomorrow and Steve had been the one to collaborate with people from home to surprise Thor for once. 

Steve rushed over to his parents and threw his arms around them.

“You’re here!” he cried. “I can’t believe that you’re really here!”

“Really, Steve,” his dad harrumphed. “5 months abroad and you’re surprised to find us here to greet you when you return?”

“Hey, I didn’t know whether mom would have to work today,” Steve replied. “I figured you would be here.”

“Enough of that,” his mom chided. “Are you hungry, dear?”

Steve grinned. “Starving.”

Steve spent the evening telling his parents about his travels and showing them sketches he had drawn during the months he had traveled through Europe. They also demanded to see his tattoo in person now that he was with them. Steve grinned and took his shirt off. Maybe it was strange, but he was less shy about removing his shirt in front of people now. Maybe it was the phoenix, maybe he was just becoming a little less afraid in general. 

Steve would have gladly stayed up all night telling them more about his travels or showing them his idea for his next tattoo, but he crashed around 10:00. One moment he was talking to them about the weekend they spent in Venice, the next he was rolling over in his bed wondering how he got there. Steve didn’t think much of it. He rolled over and went back to sleep. He didn’t wake up again until noon. He would have slept in later, but he really did have to get everything ready. Bucky would surely give him an earful if he was late. 

Tony was there to help recreate the scene from their Homecoming dance almost a year ago now. Peter was there, joking about how he was doing the same job again and wondering if this was going to be a yearly event. Steve would be okay with that, honestly, but the surprise would probably wear off sooner or later. It was the same rooftop, the same pagoda, the same decorations. Steve was meticulous with the details to the point that Tony declared that he preferred working with Thor. 

“You know,” Bucky said. “This is exactly the sort of thing that would show up in a romance story or a rom-com.”

“You say that every time we have something romantic like this,” Steve replied. “And don’t pretend that you aren’t a sucker for this stuff. I’ve seen what you read and watch. They’re either spies or a couple or both.”

Bucky laughed at that. “Guilty as charged,” he said. “But seriously, I’m not gonna be here tonight.”

“Why not?” Steve asked. “You’re as much a part of this relationship as Thor and me!”

“Because this is your day. March 18th is our day,” Bucky said. “You deserve to celebrate your anniversary with Thor.”

Steve swallowed and stood on his tiptoes to kiss Bucky. “Thanks, Buck.”

“Hey, don’t mention it,” he replied. “Just make sure to have fun tonight, okay?”

Steve smiled. “Sure thing. We’ll see you when we get back, all right?” 

“Of course. Now shut up and get ready, he’ll be here soon.”

Thor arrived about an hour later in the same suit he had worn to their dance. He looked incredible and even a little amused that Steve had recreated their first dance. With some minor differences, of course. 

“I can only imagine what Bucky thought about this plan,” Thor chuckled in greeting.

“He loved it, though he tried to play it off like he thought it was ridiculous,” Steve said. “You look amazing.”

“As do you, love,” Thor murmured, pressing a kiss to Steve’s lips. “Shall we… fondue?”

“Sounds dirty when you say it like that,” Steve said with a grin. 

“There are rather… creative uses for chocolate fondue,” Thor replied. “Perhaps we can explore some later, if you have not… had your fill.”

That went straight to Steve’s cock and though he would have liked nothing more than to ravish his lovers, he was trying to hold off on that long enough to dance with Thor and enjoy their evening together. It had been too long since they had been able to dance. They danced for hours before Mrs. Bianchi emerged with the fondue. They were significantly more mischievous with the fondue this time, teasing each other with moans and glances of what was to come. 

The only thing that kept them from dancing the whole night away was the jet lag that plagued both of them. And the desire to get home for a different kind of dancing between the sheets. As promised, Bucky was waiting for them and joined in their revelry until they all fell asleep from exhaustion.

* * *

Steve stirred late the next morning feeling lazy and sore and sated. His head was resting on Bucky’s shoulder while Thor’s rested on his chest. Steve could feel Thor’s breath ghosting across his stomach, his soft snores filling the room. Bucky had one hand idly carding through Thor’s hair as they lay naked in a messy tangle of limbs. 

They woke slowly, lazing in bed until noon and the growling in their stomachs drove them to dress and emerge from their seclusion to seek out food. When they finally arrived downstairs, Odin was waiting for them in the kitchen. He smiled at the three of them in greeting. 

“Steve, do you know what day it is?” he asked. Steve grinned. 

“The day after my year anniversary with Thor,” he replied. 

“Indeed, and I believe there is something I owe you as per our agreement during Yule.”

“You’re right, there is.”

“At least you do not mince words,” Odin replied with a chuckle as he got up. He walked over to Steve and Thor and laid one hand on their shoulders. Steve took Bucky’s hand and laced their fingers together. Thor did the same with him. 

“May your love bring you joy for as long as it lasts. May it comfort you in times of sorrow and be first in your minds in times of prosperity. May your quarrels be brief, your tears be few, and your laughter echo in the halls of wherever you call home.”

“Thank you, Odin,” Steve said. His voice seemed small as the words settled on his shoulders like a shroud. _I wonder if there’s magic here. Can he do that? Probably._

“I should have said this long ago, but you are always welcome here, Steve Rogers,” Odin said. Then he embraced Steve as fiercely as his wife and sons had ever embraced Steve. Steve returned the embrace just as fiercely, warmth spreading through his body. 

“Welcome to the family, Steve,” Odin said. 

_Family_ , Steve thought. The sense of belonging that he had felt for months. _That’s what it is._

It was a good feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My loves, I sincerely hope that y'all loved reading this fic as much as I've enjoyed writing/posting it! Y'all have no idea how much I'm gonna miss updating this thing on Tuesdays and Fridays now that it's over. It's been an incredible journey and I am thankful for each and every one of you that's stuck with me through the end. I love you all! <3 <3 <3
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](https://leisurelypanda.tumblr.com/) for various geek related nonsense!


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